All language subtitles for Here We Go s02e05 Cherrys Wedding Dress.eng

- Ugh!
- Oh, stubbed your toe?

- Have you got bedbugs?
- Huh?

Can you just leave
it in the loo?

Or there'll be nothing
to wipe your bottom on.

- Who's Zach?
- He's Moira's dad.

Oh, right, yes, Moira.
Moira and Alec...

Alex, with the big face, yeah.

- Oh, they're here.
- Oh, God.

- I think they've got a new car.
- OK, they're here.

They're here!

Let's go, let's go.

OK!

OK, places, everyone.

- Places. Everyone, places.
- Places?

- Yes!
- We have places?

Yes, as in get by
the door, please.

- Oh, really? - What?
- Really?

- I was eating them!
- Oh, please, Amy!

- Mum, stop, stop!
- OK, that's all right. Good, good, good.

OK, Sue, stop scrubbing.

I've not got it all
out yet, though.

- Now!
- Oh!

- OK, Sam, you all right?
- Yeah, why?

- Just smooth your...
- OK. - That's it.

Big smiles, everyone.

OK, everyone look nice.

Try to project that we're
all happy and doing well.

- This is like living in North Korea.
- Yeah?

OK. Ready?

- And...
- Mum, family tree. - Huh?

- Your revision thing.
- Oh, God.

Hurry up, hurry up. They're
coming in, they're coming in.

They're coming in.
They're here, they're...

- Hey! - Penny, hello!
- Hey!

- Er...
- Now, click print.

Yeah, no, I know,
our cousin, Graham.

COMPUTER PINGS

Well, the printer is Bluetooth,
so it should just find it.

Yeah, well, it's not.
Why...? Why isn't it...?

It's right here. Find it!

- Hey, well, don't bonk it, Robin.
- That's ridiculous.

- That's not going to work, is it?
- Definitely not.

- Rach, can you give us a hand with...
- DOORBELL RINGS

- with the printer, please?
- Doorbell! - Yes, I know.

- Can you make sure Sam...?
- Yes, can you revise, please, Sam?

- Well, can you sort out the printer, please?
- Quick, Paul, take the ham.

I'm about to drop it!

Oh, my God, the ham!

Why have you brought that?

We're celebrating.

- Hey, Sammy.
- Hi, Granny.

All ready for your
exams, are you?

Er, no, but they're only
mocks, not the proper ones.

Oh, and we need a
vase for the lilies.

Oh, not lilies
again, Mum, please.

What?! They're gorgeous.

They're a menace.

The pollen is appalling.

- It gets everywhere.
- All you've got to do

is snip the stamens
off when they open.

See, that's what I mean!

I don't want to have
to snip stamens off.

- Hiya!
- Why can't you just buy us literally any other type of flower

that doesn't slowly
turn into a land mine?

What are we celebrating, sorry?

Yeah, my house
sale has completed.

Hence the ham.

Oh, wicked. Well done, Sue.

Hence the ham?

I mean, are there any other
impractically huge gifts

you want to dump on us?

Perhaps a comically oversized cheque
that won't fit through the door.

- Well, actually, I was going to give you a cheque for �15,000...
- What?

But I might change my mind if
you're going to be a knob about it.

PAUL GASPS

- Were you?
- What's this, 15 chunks?

Oh, hiya, Robin.
Didn't see you there.

Who's getting 15 chunks?

- Dad.
- Paul, apparently.

Oh, Mum, I don't
know what to say.

Maybe try thanks?

Yeah, thank you.

Thanks, Mum.

Oh, Mother, my mother.

- Will you buy me a Vespa?
- Will you buy me a Tesla? - OK, wait.

OK. Right. This
requires proper thought.

Just because we've finally
come into a bit of money

doesn't mean that I'm immediately
going to start spunking.

- Gross!
- As in spending!

God, I am. I'm spunking
just thinking about it.

15 chunks. Woo!

Chunks.

Well, I mean, we need a deposit
way more than we need a Vespa.

What deposit?

We're thinking of renting a
flat when I've finished uni.

- What, really?
- Don't rent, buy.

I can buy you a flat
for 15 chunks, girls.

Don't you worry about that.

What? Can you?

Mm, yeah! Or a
lock-up or something.

Something with the potential to
become a dwelling, certainly.

- I'll have a quick look for you now, actually.
- No, Robin, stop. Put it away.

- Really?
- Honestly, he is an absolute house-hunt-aholic.

- I am, actually.
- I turn my back for two seconds,

- he's on Zoopla looking at floor plans.
- Ha!

I'm putting it away now, babe.

Don't you worry, just
putting it in my pocket.

But

you're more than welcome to put
some money into our wedding, Sue.

- I mean, 15 G's.
- Chunks.

- We could hire Enrique for that.
- We could.

Enrique Iglesias?

I mean, would he
do it for 15 grand?

- Don't know, his agent didn't get back to me.
- Rude.

Well, I would like to give
you a little something

- for your wedding, actually, Cheryl.
- And Robin.

You know, maybe the cake

or some flowers or something.

- Aw.
- Well, I actually haven't bought the dress yet.

Oh, yes, get the dress.

- Sue, say yes to the dress, please.
- I love that.

Cherry's got quite
expensive taste.

- Yeah, well, good taste.
- Great taste.

- Look at who she's marrying.
- Hmm.

Well, yeah, we could
have a butcher's

in John Lewis or
something, yeah?

Yes!

- John Lewis?
- No. - John Lewis?

RACHEL: - OK, so there's
no easy way to say this,

but Penny and Void
are coming to stay.

Oh, fantastic!

Why?

What do you mean
why? She's my sister.

And Void's got a meeting

with some finance
bods in London.

What, Void?

Is that her real name?

- No. - No.
- Penny's husband's called Boyd,

but he's the sort of person
that never asks any questions,

so it's like
talking into a void.

- Oh, I hate people like that. - Yeah.
- Oh, you and me both, Maya.

- Yeah.
- I'll tell you, it's not going to happen this time.

I'm not going to stand for it.

- What does that mean?
- I'll tell you what it means.

I am going to get him
to ask me a question

if it is the last thing I do.

The selfish... I'm
going to say douche.

You just don't like him because
he pats you on the head.

Yeah, well, obviously, that's
completely unacceptable.

He does it to everyone.

It'll be nice to see
Penny, though, eh?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. It'll be
really lovely, Cherry.

If you like being judged and
made to feel like a useless flake

- all the time.
- Hey, you're not a flake.

Oh, my God, Rachel,
she does not do that.

- Well, she doesn't do it to you, Robin, because you're...
- A legend.

- Yeah.
- Well, you know, the youngest, but she's always trying to shame me.

Really? Cos she's
always very kind to me.

Yes, but she's deliberately
kind, Sue. It doesn't count.

She cosies up to our relatives
and remembers birthdays

so she can win at family.

You know, it's a tactic.

- I mean, she's writing a memoir, for God's sake.
- Oh, God.

What... what's that
got to do with it?

Well, it's so
self-important, isn't it?

- Yeah.
- A memoir, like she's Angela Merkel

instead of a party-wall
surveyor living outside York

obsessed with her dark kitchen.

- CHERRY: - I love her dark kitchen.
- RACHEL: - No, it is great.

- It's a great kitchen.
- Great kitchen. Look, Rach,

I can soak up all of
Penny's family chat, OK?

I'm quite good with all the
cousins' names and whatnot.

- You just stick with me.
- Yeah. - I'll be here.

- I'll get you through it.
- All right. - I've got you.

- Hey!
- Hello, Paul.

- Hi, Penny.
- Hiya.

- Hello. - Lovely to see you.
- Penny!

- Oh, Rachel.
- Yes, nice to see you too.

Lovely Rachel. Dad
sends his love.

Well, that's... I mean,
I speak to him as well,

- so he sends his love to you through me.
- OK, course.

- Hey!
- Hello.

Sue, how lovely to see you.

And happy birthday
for next week.

Oh, thank you, Penny, love.

Good of you to remember.

Here they all are, the
usual suspects. Hello, Paul.

- SAM: - Straight in.
- Hi, Boyd.

- How are you?
- Excellent, thanks.

I am excellent.

Mm.

Me again, is it? OK. Er...

Good journey?

- Immaculate, yeah. Immaculate drive.
- Yeah.

- Just got the new BMW M760e xDrive.
- Right.

- Panoramic roof, there.
- Yeah.

Self-closing doors.

- Wow.
- Smooth as a wet baby. - Mm.

Well, yeah, we're still
driving the Galaxy, thanks.

- Thanks for asking.
- Hi, Uncle Boyd.

Hello, you.

Amy's been living in Norway,

if you'd like to
ask her about that.

I did a bit of work
in Sweden in '06.

Yeah, great place. Weird
food, but extremely clean.

- That's...
- When is Robin coming back from Bulgaria, then, Rachel?

Oh, not sure. Hopefully
tomorrow, so...

- Yeah, sorry.
- Well, at least I'll get you all to myself. - Yes!

Oh! I've forgotten how
bright it is in here.

- Yes, we like it bright.
- Because our kitchen's dark.

Dark, no, I know. You post a photo
of it on Instagram most days.

- I'll get rid of this for you.
- Yes, please. - Excuse. - What's that?

Just ignore that.

There's always something bonkers
happening here, isn't there?

- Ha, no. No.
- Oh, you've been dusting.

Well, no, not really.
No more than normal.

Yeah, so, how's the...
How's the memoir going?

- Oh, fantastic.
- Yeah.

- Yeah, there's just so much material...
- Mm.

Is the problem, trying to
work out what to include.

Right, will this make it in?

- Erm, probably not.
- Hmm, I don't know.

But I have to get it
finished to show Lizzie.

- You remember Lizzie, don't you?
- Yeah. Lizzie.

Our cousin, Moira's daughter.

- Our cousin?
- Yeah.

No, she's our second
cousin. Moira's our cousin.

PENNY AND BOYD LAUGH

Yeah, exactly.

Moira, who lives in Padstow and
once appeared on The Weakest Link.

- So, there.
- Love The Weakest Link.

- Lizzie now works in publishing.
- I know. I know she does.

- And she's been begging to read my memoirs for ages.
- Right, mm.

God, why?

- Well, autobiography is a huge market.
- Mm.

Do you read them?

Oh, yeah. I mean, I
read Andre Agassi's one,

- which I thought was brilliant.
- Mm.

But that's mainly because he
is very much Andre Agassi.

- Tennis.
- Mm.

- How's John, Rachel?
- John? - Yes. - John? - Mm.

John, John?

SAM WHISPERS: -
Great Uncle John.

Great Uncle John is...

Let me... I'll put this...
and I'll let you know.

Hang on. One sec.

OK, refreshments.

Boyd, can I get you a drink?

- You can ask me for anything?
- Mm.

Yes.

I'll have a grapefruit juice.

- Will an orange juice be all right?
- No.

- OK.
- Former maths teacher, now sadly in a home,

Great Uncle John has one son,
Daniel, who lives in Perth.

- Yes, I mean... - Yeah.
- What do you think of the care home?

What do you mean?

Well, it's only 20
minutes from here,

- so I thought you might have some local intel.
- Mm-hm.

You did know that?

Mm-hm.

Oh, my God, Rachel.

- Did you not know that?
- Of course, of course I knew that.

Oh, it's great.

- Ahh.
- It is a great care home.

- No, I have been very impressed by it.
- So you've been there? - Wow.

Yeah, of course I have. It's
20 minutes away, so, yeah.

- Oh, Rachel, well done.
- Yeah.

- Yeah, well, of course.
- I didn't expect you to do that.

- Oh, of course I have.
- Oh, sweetheart.

Maybe you can just... You
can show us the way there.

- What way?
- To see John.

- To see John.
- Cos we thought we might go this afternoon

now that we're not seeing
Robin, if that's OK?

What about Boyd's
meeting, though?

- With my finance guys, mm, down in Bishopsgate, London.
- Yeah.

Incredible speed of construction
in that part of the city.

But that's not till six,
so we've got bags of time.

Oh, great. Well, great idea.

- Let's go and see John.
- Oh, good. - Let's go.

- Sam, what's the care home called? Quick!
- Yeah, no idea.

It's something Wood.
Something with trees.

Amy, just Google "care homes around
here", and I'll drive slowly.

Oh, why did you tell her
that we'd been to see him?

Oh, gosh, yes, well, I regret
it. I regret saying that.

I didn't want Penny
to think I didn't care

- about Uncle... oh... John.
- John.

- Because, you know...
- It's true.

Because she'd be
all judgy about it.

And we should be
at Robin's, anyway.

This is Robin's
fault, if anything.

- Quickly, Amy.
- OK.

- Highdene. - Highdene. - Croftdown.
- Croftdown, I don't think so.

- Elmstead. - No, no, no.
- Bridgeford, Beech Court...

Bridgeford,
Bridgeford! That's it.

- Which way?
- All right, so nothing to do with trees, then.

- Which way? Which way, Amy? Quickly.
- It's loading.

Just go... Just go round.

- Go round? As in round and round?
- Yeah, well, I'm getting it now.

- It's just Maya keeps sending me flat details.
- Oh, God!

- They're honking us!
- Oh!

- OK, right. Go right!
- Right, right! OK, fine. Yeah.

Great. Fantastic.

- Well done, everyone. This is going to be fine.
- Is it?

- Mm-hm. It is. - Is it?
- Yeah.

And what happens when
we actually see John,

who we've never
actually visited before?

What happens then?

OK, Mum, who is Stanley?

Stanley is an uncle.

I wouldn't have thought
so. He's only six.

- Little Stanley is the youngest of Rosie and Mike.
- Eldest.

- Eldest, eldest!
- And it's Rosie and Mark.

OK, give me another.

Sam's supposed to be
revising for his exam,

not your sister's visit.

Yeah, well, that is a sort
of exam, to be honest.

And they're only mocks,
they're not proper ones.

- Exactly.
- OK, great.

Great parenting.

Go back to your sunloungers.

Who is John?

- John is Dad's cousin.
- Uncle.

Uncle. Great Uncle John.

Former maths teacher, now has a son
who lives in Perth called Daniel

and is in a care
home called Bridge...

It's not Bridgerton,
but something like that.

- Ooh!
- Bridge... Bridge...

- Bridgeford. - Bridgeford.
- Oh, my God!

- Oh, Ames. - Hmm?
- Check out this baby.

- 12 grand?
- Yeah.

Why is it only 12 grand?
What's wrong with it?

- Nothing. I mean, it is in Bulgaria.
- Right.

Yeah, because I didn't think
I had to say this, Robin,

but we don't want
to live in Bulgaria.

- Sure.
- So don't look at places in Bulgaria.

Yeah. I didn't mean
to, to be fair,

I just searched for the
cheapest houses in Europe

- and the algorithm very much did the rest.
- Hmm.

But... Oh, my God! Oh,
my God! Look at this.

- This is an absolute scorcher.
- Let me see, let me see.

- Eight grand.
- It's huge! - Yeah!

It's not a house.

- It's an office.
- Well, you'd have to convert it, sure.

Yeah, and it's in a
quarry in Bulgaria.

It comes with a quarry?

It... Hang on, let me see.

It does not include the quarry.

- No, actually, I wouldn't buy that one.
- No?

- Whoa! - Whoa!
- Careful, Josh.

- Please! Stop the long shots.
- Sorry, Mrs Jessop.

What? Mrs Jessop?

Maybe don't do
three-pointers, yeah?

Why did they even get
a basketball hoop?

- Amazing.
- There's not enough space in his garden.

Right, I'm off dress
shopping with Cheryl.

I may be some time.

She's booked a lot of boutiques.

Oh, welcome to my world.

- Good luck, Sue.
- Yeah.

Oh, thanks, Robin.

Well, I've got a thermos
of Monster Energy

and some Kendal Mint Cake,

so I might be OK.

Good luck, Sue.

- Why has she put it in a thermos?
- Robin, look at this one I found.

Oh, my God! What?! That...

Oh, get out of my
dreams and into my car.

Look at that. 800 quid?!

It's up for auction, and
it's in Bulgaria, obviously.

OK, OK.

I think I have to
buy this house.

- You're not serious.
- Hmm...

- It's amazing, Rach. - It is, actually.
- What? - Yeah, have a look at it.

You're meant to be finding Amy
a place to rent in England,

not buying a second... Wow,
that is amazing, actually.

- Get it with your 15 grand, Dad.
- And look, it comes with its own panic room.

- Oh, my God.
- For when you realise

you've bought a house
in Bulgaria, presumably.

- Well, no, that's...
- Look, look.

- The auction ends in ten days.
- OK. OK, that's fine.

I'll just sort of nip over
and see it next weekend, then.

Nip over to Bulgaria? No,
next weekend... No, no, no.

That's when Penny
and Void are coming.

No, I can't face them
on my own, Robin.

- No!
- OK, all right, so I'll go on the Friday night

and be back by
then. Don't worry.

It'll just be a quick in, out,
in, out, buy a Bulgarian house.

Job's a good 'un.

Oh, no!

Are you OK? Josh!

Josh, how many times
do I have to tell you?

- That is not on.
- Stop attempting three-points in the garden, mate.

Sorry! Sorry, Mrs Jessop.

Mr! I'm clearly Mr Jessop!

Cool.

Well, here we are.

Well, this is nice, isn't it?

It is, yes. I told you.

- Bad wiring.
- Apart from some of the wiring, yeah.

- I've mentioned that. Erm...
- So, where do we go?

We, well, normally,
I check in here.

Hello? It's Rachel.

- Hi, can I help you?
- Oh, hi.

- Hi. - Hi.
- Hi. Hi, there... Sara.

- Sarah.
- Sarah, no, I know.

It's Rachel again.

Here to see John, again.

Which John is it, sorry?

- Mm-hm, what?
- What's the surname?

Oh, well, I mean, there can't be
more than one person called John

in the care home.

That is ridiculous.

- It's John Moore.
- It's John Moore.

- Oh.
- Is now a good time? Doesn't matter if it's not.

No, no, there's a bit
of time before lunch.

- Yes. - Do you know the way?
- Yes. - Great.

Thanks.

This way.

That's the kitchen. I know,
I'm just saying hi to the...

Hi, guys. Good to see you.

Remind me which way
it is again, Sara?

I mean, I do know,
but... Sarah. This way.

- Thank you.
- Come on, then.

This way.

It's this way.

- John, John Moore.
- Mm.

So...

- WHISPERS: - Yeah,
he's probably sleeping.

Well, no, knock
properly, Rachel.

- Hello?
- Oh, God.

- Oh!
- Good.

John, Hi. Good to see you again.

This is, well, I've
brought family this time.

So we've got Paul,
we've got Amy,

we've got Sam, of course,

we've got Penny and
her husband, Boyd.

It's so tidy in here.

And you, you look well, as well.

Penny? You're
Michael's daughter?

- Yes.
- Yes, exactly. And her husband, Boyd.

- And of course, me, you know.
- John.

JOHN CHUCKLES

- He's done it to him, as well.
- How are you, Boyd?

I am amazing, actually.

Just got the new BMW
M760e all-wheel Drive

with a panoramic sunroof.

- Are you going to ask him how he is?
- No?

How are you, John?

Oh, not too bad,
Penny, thank you.

Hanging in there.

- PHONE VIBRATES.
- I'll leave you two to catch up, OK?

Hey.

Yeah, I'll have a look at it.

Well, I think it's,

how can I put this, horrible.

No, he still hasn't
asked a question.

- Mm.
- Boyd.

I was... I was going to mention,

you'll never guess what I
found earlier on my body.

It's disgusting.

And the shape of it,

I mean, you won't believe it.

SAM LAUGHS

Do you want to know
more about it or...

Are you going to ask
what it looks like

or guess where it
is or anything?

No? No interest.

I had to have a mole
removed about two years ago.

Didn't feel a thing.

Fabulous place.

A clinic in Leeds.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Hi, John. Sorry to interrupt.

Lunch in ten minutes.

Oh, well, we should go.

- Oh, well, we'll leave you to it.
- Yeah.

- But so, so lovely to see you.
- Bye-bye. - And you.

- Thank you for coming. - Oh!
- It's so nice to see people.

- Yeah.
- BOYD: - Goodbye, John.

Well, I'm sure that Rachel
will come again soon.

Oh, yes, of course. Absolutely.

You know me.

I'm sorry, I don't
think I do know you.

- Who are you?
- Rachel.

Exactly. Bye, then, John.

Rachel. Oh, Rachel!

- Michael's daughter.
- Yes. - Yes, my sister.

- Yeah. - Ahh.
- Rachel's been to see you before.

- Yeah, a few times.
- Have you?

- You said a few times, didn't you?
- Yes, yes, yes. - Ah. - Mm-hm.

- Yeah.
- Oh. I don't remember you at all.

What?

- No.
- Oh.

Oh, dear.

Well, that does happen
at this age, doesn't it?

Poor thing.

- Oh.
- Really?

- Poor thing.
- So, how...?

- Gosh. How long has he been like that?
- Yeah, how long?

- I don't know.
- You don't know?

- He's got dementia...
- Yeah, you should know that.

- ..and you don't know how long he's had it?
- What? Dementia? - Yeah.

- Let's not...
- We've not noticed anything before.

Well, then, you're certainly
not doing your job properly...

- Absolutely not.
- ..If you haven't noticed it. - Not doing...

No, and I need to see your
supervisor immediately.

- I'd like to see your supervisor.
- Can you stop saying what I'm saying?

- OK.
- I mean, we chose this care very carefully, or his family did.

- Really did, yeah.
- And it's very expensive. - Yeah.

There's a level of
care we would expect.

You don't want to turn up and just
be told that he's got dementia,

so I'd like to see a
supervisor. Thank you so much.

- Immediately. - No, no, he is fine.
- Absolutely. - He's fine.

What? What do you mean?

I've just remembered, actually,
that I haven't actually

been here before,

so there's nothing wrong
with John's memory, in fact.

Oh, sorry.

- You just remembered?
- I just remembered.

Yeah. Maybe I'm the one that
should get checked for dementia.

No, in all seriousness,
I'm so sorry.

I shouldn't have said that.

And I'm very sorry, Sara.

Sarah.

- Boyd... - Penny.
- Penny, I'm sorry. I know your name.

And John, I'm so sorry.

Yeah, I'm sorry about
that back there.

RACHEL CHUCKLES

Could I go in the Beemer on
the way back, Uncle Boyd?

Erm, well, it's new, so no.

And we're driving
straight to the meeting.

He has to be in London at six.

Bishopsgate.

The ambition of the architecture in
that part of the city is staggering.

SAM: - Can I just try
the self-closing door?

We've really got to get going.

SAM: - All right,
I was just asking.

We'll be back pretty
late, so don't wait up.

- OK.
- Huh.

See you later.

- I got it. - Oh, my God.
- It's extraordinary.

- Innit? - Cherry.
- Oh, my gosh!

It's perfect, innit, Sue?

We saw it, and I was just like,
"That's me in dress form."

- But white, obviously.
- It's a beautiful dress.

It really is.

- And it is... a lot.
- It is, yeah.

- Yeah.
- It's the whole nine yards.

- Literally!
- Whoa!

The train goes on
for bloody ages.

- Your floor is clean, innit, Rach?
- I would think so, Cherry.

I've been scrubbing it all week.

- Yeah.
- Penny will be here in the morning.

In fact, any idea when
Robin'll be back from Bulgaria?

Yeah, I don't know.

He's found a disused munitions
factory that's also up for auction,

so he wants to take a
look at that and all, now.

Oh, yeah. OK. Well, he will
be back tomorrow, though?

PAUL CHUCKLES

- What's that stain?
- Oh!

- Oh!
- You what?

Stain? What do you mean, stain?

- Are you yanking my plank?
- Oh, God, I think it's from the lilies.

- Oh, God.
- Oh, my God.

I knew it.

Paul, you didn't
snip the stamens!

- Has he ruined my dress?
- I didn't do anything.

I didn't even want
them in the house, Mum.

It'll come out.

It better come out! I
am warning you, Paul!

- How is this my fault?
- Oh, God.

I will get that out,
Cheryl. I promise.

OK.

- I'm panicking here. Rach, I'm having a panic.
- Ahh!

- Penny wasn't judging you, Rach.
- Well...

She didn't even say anything.

She doesn't need to.

That's how she expresses
scorn, through silence.

Oh, I mean... Sue!

Sue, can you not dry the
dress in here, please, Sue?

It looks like a Chinese laundry.

It's too long to
hang anywhere else.

- Oh, I mean...
- I got the stain out, though.

OK, well, can you...

- Can you just peg it in the garden or something, please?
- Will do.

I really don't think your
sister scorns you, Rach.

I just, I...

It honestly doesn't
make any sense to me.

- Where are you going?
- No, I just... - Rach. - Hang on.

I do not approve of this.

Well, they won't
be back for ages.

- Well, that's not why. - Oh.
- What are you doing? - Nothing.

- Your mother's reading your Auntie Penny's memoirs.
- What, why?

To see all the horrible stuff
she's written about me, obviously.

She may not have done.

Of course she has!

She thinks I'm an
untrustworthy arsehole.

- Yeah, I wonder why.
- All right, Sam. Don't you start, as well.

So, why do you want
to read it, then?

Because... I mean, this
bit is mainly about

a party-wall surveyors'
conference in Telford.

Oh, my God. It's
a whole chapter.

- So, put it back, then. - No.
- Search for your name.

Do ctrl-F and type in Rachel.

- Ctrl-F.
- Sam!

Thank you, Sam. Thank you.

OK. OK.

Oh, my God.

Here we go.

Oh.

"From an early age,

"my sister Rachel was clearly
the star of the family.

"Bright and brilliant,

"Rachel brings joy to
people wherever she goes."

"Not always the most
reliable person."

"She has a wonderful
heart and a genius"

"for putting people at ease."

- You see, she thinks I'm unreliable.
- Oh, shut up. You are unreliable.

And the rest of it
is incredibly nice.

I... I don't understand.
She's put this on purpose.

- She knew I was going to read it.
- She loves you, Rachel.

She's not trying to shame or
belittle you all the time,

she just really cares
about the family.

Mm.

Let's see what she
thinks about me.

- Really? Do you really want to see?
- Yeah, I really want to see, yeah.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Are you sure?

- Yeah.
- OK.

So, Paul.

Paul... is my name.

- Yep.
- Oh!

- "Rachel married Paul in 2003."
- Mm-hm.

"He's a staunch
former Olympic archer"

"with a beard."

Is that it?

Let's just see if
she's mentioned you...

Yeah, that's it.

- Hmm. Hmm.
- Hmm.

- I'll take that.
- Yeah?

Yeah, staunch.

- Yeah.
- I'm thrilled with that, actually.

- OK.
- Staunch.

- Like a castle keep.
- Oh.

- Yes!
- Oh, do me.

- Ha!
- No, the rest of it'll just be about how dark their kitchen is

and their flash new car.

- Yeah, yeah.
- I don't think it's actually theirs, though.

- Hmm?
- What?

What do you mean?

I saw a rental thingy
in the foot well.

Pretty sure they don't own it.

Eh?

Look, I know, I know.

I know.

What's going on?

Don't know.

It doesn't look good, though.

A lot of whispering,
a lot of hugging.

- What's going on?
- OK, so Boyd filed for bankruptcy last year.

- What?
- Yeah.

Yeah, they had to remortgage
the house and sell the car.

Yeah, it's really
bad, apparently.

- They've got such expensive shoes.
- That's probably why.

- Mm.
- They were hoping one of.

Boyd's wanker banker
friends would help.

That's why they hired
a car to impress him.

He didn't want to...

- Oh.
- Oh, dear.

Oh, guys.

Bit of a pickle.

Are you going to be all right?

- No.
- No.

Mm.

OK, OK.

Here's an idea.

We'll lend you the money.

- SAM: - What?
- AMY: - Hang on a minute.

- Are you being serious?
- Yeah.

I mean, �15,000 of
it, if that will help.

- Oh, my... - Yeah.
- It would help enormously.

- Oh, my God. Are you sure?
- Yeah, really sure.

- Oh! - Oh!
- Yeah.

- Come here. - Oh!
- They need it and they're family.

And we'd only spend it on
something stupid, right?

- Exactly.
- Yeah. Speak for yourself.

- Thank you, Paul. Thank you.
- Yeah, on one condition.

What do you mean?

He has to ask me for it.

You're not serious?

- I am.
- Oh.

I am, actually.

If Boyd wants the money,
he has to ask me for it.

- I'm so sorry.
- Simple as that.

Righto.

Come on, then.
Boyd, I'm waiting.

Waiting for the question.

OK.

Well...

Please... will you, hmm...

Boyd.

Lend us �15,000, please, Paul?

- Oh! - Yes, I will, Boyd. Thanks for asking.
- See?

Simple as that.

- Simple as that. Oh!
- Sorry about...

Oh, now, this really
will go in my memoirs.

Fantastic, fantastic.

I hope so, I hope so.

Cos we're family.

And I just...

It is a loan. It is a loan.

I can't stress that enough.

- No, honestly.
- It's a lot of money.

- Love you.
- I love you, too, Penny.

Penny, have you done a wee?

I have, yes.

- Boyd, have you done a wee?
- Mum!

- I'll text you my bank details, Paul.
- Yeah, Boyd,

what I thought I'd do is put
together a rough repayment schedule.

- Uh-huh, uh-huh.
- So then we can...

- Yeah. OK.
- Bye.

- We're never going to see that money again, are we?
- Nope.

You've basically paid �15,000
for a question there, Dad.

I did.

Oh, so Robin's asking if we
can lend him ten grand to bid

- on a Bulgarian bauxite mine.
- Not any more, we can't. - No.

- You did the right thing, though, Paul.
- Yeah.

Family first, and last,
and in the middle,

in my opinion.

Well, I would have preferred
a Vespa, but still.

- Anyway, it's all over now.
- Yeah.

So we can all just
sit back and relax

- with a nice cup of tea.
- Mm. - Yeah.

Lovely.

The most important thing is
everything worked out in the end.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Ah, yep.

? Hey, lord, don't
ask me questions

? Hey, lord, don't
ask me questions

? Hey, lord, don't ask
me questions, please

? Hey, lord, don't
ask me questions

? Hey, lord, don't
ask me questions

? Hey, lord, ain't
no answer in me. ?

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0