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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:17,991 - Mr Jamieson! - Mornin', Wullie! 2 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:20,355 - You have a question for me? - I do. 3 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:23,113 - Hope it's better than yesterday's. - You'll never get this one. 4 00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:24,792 Never in a hundred years. 5 00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:27,952 Name the footballer who has a hundred caps for his country... 6 00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:32,113 played for Celtic and has also won a Lonsdale belt for boxing. 7 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:34,555 Let's see. That's a diff�cult one. 8 00:02:34,640 --> 00:02:38,315 The footballer you're talkin' about won the belt in a raffle. 9 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:42,996 Played for Celtic in a testimonial and earned a hundred caps for England. 10 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,799 So that would be Bobby Charlton. 11 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:51,551 - Mr Jamieson? - Fuck off! 12 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:56,228 That's my boys! 13 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:58,754 Gorgeous! Gorgeous! 14 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:05,553 Yes! Come on! 15 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:37,999 You're back then. 16 00:04:39,840 --> 00:04:42,991 Mornin', Mr Bailey. Mornin', Bridget. 17 00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:45,753 - It's Brigitte. - Sorry, Mr Bailey. 18 00:04:45,840 --> 00:04:47,239 Good mornin', Brigitte. 19 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:51,637 - You've been taking the milk again. - Only a pint. 20 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:53,870 It's thirsty work, delivering milk. 21 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:58,397 That's one today, two last Friday, three the previous Tuesday. 22 00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:01,153 You carry on like this, I'm gonna have to start milking you. 23 00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:04,038 Milking me? That's funny. 24 00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:10,596 - Take 2 crates to her on your way home. - No problem. 25 00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:13,240 Tell Rosemary to bring me the money. 26 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:16,710 Rosemary? She's come home? 27 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:19,519 She has. Don't know why. 28 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:22,672 Nothing in this bloody village for a girl like her. 29 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:27,512 Come on, Brigitte. Time for breakfast. 30 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:33,471 Careful. That's hot. Don't be silly. 31 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:52,959 - Looks like rain, eh, Boss? - Aye, that's possible. 32 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:56,669 Weather is a very important part of driving a delivery van. 33 00:05:56,760 --> 00:06:00,753 To be a high quality delivery man, you have to understand the elements. 34 00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:03,718 Listen to the voices of the heavens. 35 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:06,189 What's it telling you? 36 00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:08,589 That I'm gonna get wet when I get to Inverdoune. 37 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:10,750 Don't be a smart-ass. 38 00:06:10,840 --> 00:06:15,311 A high quality delivery man must be prepared for all potential hazards. 39 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:27,913 Who was that? 40 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,433 Get your book out. 41 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:35,712 Name is Wullie Smith. Has TFR abilities. 42 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:38,758 - What does TFR mean? - Total football recall. 43 00:06:38,840 --> 00:06:40,876 Means he can remember every result of every match... 44 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:43,315 in Scotland in the last hundred years. 45 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:48,155 He knows the teams, their boot sizes, the weather on the day they played. 46 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,319 I saw that! 47 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:04,630 Nobody gives my Bistro the f�nger. 48 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:08,952 Fourteen days till my boys win the match. 49 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:11,918 Then I'll close down the only fleapit in this poxy village... 50 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,389 that would let him in the door. 51 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:16,516 - What are you doing? - I'm hiding. 52 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:18,511 I don't want people getting the wrong impression. 53 00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:20,875 While you're down there, do you think you could... 54 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:26,390 I don't know what you're bothered about. It's not my fault your husband ran away. 55 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:30,234 He never ran away. He went off to seek his fortune. 56 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:31,514 Really? 57 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:34,194 While he's seeking his fortune, who's feeding his kids? 58 00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:36,919 Look, I work for you. That's all. 59 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,230 Don't get any big ideas. 60 00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:41,515 Morning, Carol. Morning, Gus. 61 00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:09,072 Quit staring, will you? Say hello. 62 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:12,316 I didn't expect you to come home so soon. 63 00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:14,311 Hello to you too. 64 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,309 I'm sorry. Hello, Rosemary. 65 00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:22,234 How have you been? I thought you'd have left by now. 66 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:24,390 Sorry I disappoint you. 67 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:27,631 Far from it. I'm glad you didn't. 68 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:31,998 - Is that my milk? - Your mother doesn't sound too happy. 69 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:33,798 - Mice. - What? 70 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:35,199 She has mice in the shop. 71 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:37,714 She found their droppings on the sausages this morning. 72 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:39,711 She thinks they've got nests somewhere. 73 00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:40,994 In the sausages? 74 00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:45,153 You're late. I suppose it was him. 75 00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:48,511 That's far enough. 76 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:50,556 Rosemary, bring the other crate. 77 00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:55,397 Never mind her. How's your mum? 78 00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:58,233 Just the same. Are you home for good? 79 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:01,758 - I mean, for a while? - I don't know. 80 00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:06,118 - It's your birthday soon. - You always remember. 81 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:08,191 Same day as the match. Hard to forget. 82 00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:11,750 The match. How many years is that silly bet goin' now? 83 00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:14,479 A hundred. This is the last one. 84 00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:17,074 If Benny's loses this year, we lose the bar. 85 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:19,230 It won't be the end of the world, will it? 86 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:21,595 Aye, for some people it will. 87 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:25,310 Your dad wants you to bring the milk money. 88 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:29,234 Typical. Why can't he just phone and say he wants to see me? 89 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:46,276 Where are you, you wee buggers? 90 00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:48,635 Do you have to be so rude to people? 91 00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:52,713 - You mean Wullie Smith? - Fine. Yes, Wullie Smith. 92 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:54,119 Be warned. 93 00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:58,716 The likes of Wullie Smith are stepping into manhood with no future. 94 00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:00,916 - What's that supposed to mean? - You know. 95 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,911 You were there when it happened. 96 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:06,356 That's what I missed about the village life. The whisper. 97 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:09,034 The veiled reference to things unmentionable. 98 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:12,396 - Don't be ridiculous. - Oh, really? 99 00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:15,119 Okay. How's this? Dad! 100 00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:19,749 - We don't talk about him. - Well, why not? 101 00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:22,308 It's been God knows how long since the divorce. 102 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:25,312 Don't you think it's time one of you came to your senses? 103 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:28,198 That's not very likely to be him. 104 00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:32,273 I'll never forget coming home early... 105 00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:35,318 and catching him watching TV with Bridget. 106 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:37,356 It's Brigitte. 107 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:40,758 There's my bread. 108 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:53,309 Hey, boys, look at this. 109 00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:56,437 If it isn't Wullie, the milk boy. 110 00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:58,636 Milkman. 111 00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:01,472 Milkman. 112 00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:03,949 Excuse me. So, tell me, Wullie... 113 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:07,794 how come we don't see you training with the rest of those losers? 114 00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:11,316 Oh, I forgot. His gimpy leg. 115 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,512 Tell me, milky boy... 116 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:18,876 what does it feel like being a loser supporting a losing side? 117 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:21,559 Hey! 118 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:24,598 After the match, Benny's Bar is history... 119 00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:27,148 and so are you, son, and the rest of those losers. 120 00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:29,878 Beat it! 121 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:31,279 And, Wullie... 122 00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:33,954 Hello, hello 123 00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:36,349 Ninety-nine in a row 124 00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:39,193 Hello, hello 125 00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:42,670 Ninety-nine in a row, hello 126 00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:44,990 You loser! 127 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:10,550 You know what, Charlie? 128 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:13,108 I'd shag you shagging her. 129 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,191 You know what? 130 00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:17,589 I'd let you. 131 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:28,438 To Benny. 132 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,833 To Benny! 133 00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:01,277 So measure it just right. Don't want to drink too much. 134 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:03,590 - Buffalo? - Wullie! 135 00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:05,591 - What are you doing? - Hello. 136 00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:11,032 Good of you to drop by. One doesn't want to drink too much. 137 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,709 Here. Get me up. 138 00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:22,189 - Give me that bike. - You can't ride. You're drunk. 139 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:24,874 Yes, I can. Watch this. 140 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:27,315 I can ride the damn thing. 141 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:32,155 I'm gonna fly. I'm gonna fly! Up in the sky! 142 00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:35,152 Oh, damn, no! 143 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:37,879 Bad idea. Bad idea! 144 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:42,192 You ride the bike. I'll go get my aeroplane. 145 00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:47,356 Come on now. You look good. 146 00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:50,639 - Book. - I look f�ne. 147 00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:53,154 - Go, Buffalo. - That's Buffalo, old American flyer. 148 00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:57,028 Was in love with a Scottish girl, but she left him for his commanding off�cer. 149 00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:59,156 Onward! 150 00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:02,550 Oh, Boss, while I've got the book out... 151 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:05,518 should I mention the inferiority of our van? 152 00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:07,750 Smart-ass. 153 00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:16,113 All right! 154 00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:24,399 I love a nice bath in the morning. 155 00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:29,156 You're a good man. Good man. Thanks for walking me home. 156 00:14:29,240 --> 00:14:30,958 Hey. 157 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:35,038 Care to join me for an aperitif? 158 00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:38,998 - You know I don't drink. - Where's your joie d'vie? 159 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:42,993 The joy of life is sweetened by risk. 160 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:45,071 I don't know what you mean. 161 00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:48,755 Look at me. Look me in the eye. 162 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:53,436 Tell me. You don't know what I mean? 163 00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:57,152 You're drunk. 164 00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:59,913 I hope so. And wet. 165 00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:06,314 But I'm not blind, okay? 166 00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:12,876 The bet was made 100 years ago... 167 00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:14,871 between my great-grandfather... 168 00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:17,269 Angus, a handsome man... 169 00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:18,952 and his one-time best friend Benny. 170 00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:22,953 They owned the only two bars here in Inverdoune. 171 00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:27,079 Angus and Benny had a terrible fight. 172 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,071 - Why? - Nobody knows. 173 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:32,038 Anyway, Angus bet Benny... 174 00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:34,793 that even if their soccer teams played each other... 175 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:36,996 every year for a hundred years... 176 00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:40,675 Benny's wouldn't be abJe to win a single match. 177 00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:45,959 So far, L 'Bistro has won 99 in a row. 178 00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:47,996 And the stakes for this bet? 179 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:50,958 Winner takes all. 180 00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:53,918 Loser loses the bar and hands over the keys. 181 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:57,310 - Thank you, Gus... - Gorgeous Gus. 182 00:15:57,400 --> 00:16:00,358 J'm sorry. Thank you, Gorgeous Gus. 183 00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:14,914 Johnny. Rosemary's come home. 184 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,912 I knew she would. 185 00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:46,631 Dinner, Ma. 186 00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:52,914 I'm away off to Benny's. 187 00:17:18,360 --> 00:17:20,032 All right, lads. 188 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,912 I can smell bread under here. 189 00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:46,909 Does it get you hard? 190 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,718 Sorry? 191 00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:50,756 Does it get you hard? 192 00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:57,474 You know, when she backf�res? Does it get you hard? 193 00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:03,513 1967, European Cup Final. 194 00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:06,034 Celtic team? 195 00:18:06,120 --> 00:18:08,793 Simpson, Craig, Gemmell, Murdoch, McNeil, Clark... 196 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:11,633 Johnstone, Wallace, Chalmers, Auld and Lennox. 197 00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:13,790 - Yes! - Carlsberg. 198 00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:16,394 - Evenin', boys. - Hey, Arrow. 199 00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:22,193 Patsy. All right, Big Tam. My usual Coca-Cola, if you please... 200 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:23,952 and a ref�ll for the lads. 201 00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:27,874 Must keep in shape. It's called dedication to the cause. 202 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:30,394 Who says I'll play ya? 203 00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:32,198 What? 204 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:35,310 You're joking. Have you seen my medals? 205 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:37,834 They're your granddad's war medals. 206 00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:48,591 Englishman! 207 00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:53,835 Go get 'im, Growler. 208 00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:57,673 He's our man! Growler's our man! 209 00:18:57,760 --> 00:18:59,034 Lovely, Growler. 210 00:18:59,120 --> 00:19:00,951 Geezer boy can barely shift. 211 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:12,512 How is he gonna manage to coach us for the match? 212 00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:15,672 He can barely coach his next breath. 213 00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:18,672 Don't worry. 214 00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:43,080 Do you think Piss Off will play for us? 215 00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:53,589 I've tried again and again. 216 00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:57,920 But never say never is my motto. 217 00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:04,675 I'd like to try him again and again. 218 00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:08,469 - What a player he was. Pure genius. - Brilliant. 219 00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:11,358 Hasn't kicked a ball since he found his wife in the team bath. 220 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:12,998 Who with? 221 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:14,991 - The team. - Faith! 222 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:17,911 As the team coach... 223 00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:22,278 I believe we can not only win this match... 224 00:20:23,360 --> 00:20:25,271 but furthermore... 225 00:20:25,360 --> 00:20:31,151 tonight's the night when I sweet-talk Piss Off into playing for us. 226 00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:35,439 You beauty. 227 00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:12,751 Mr Doris, sir... 228 00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:21,475 as head coach of Benny's Bar football team, I appeal to your good sense. 229 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:26,831 If we lose this, the 1 OOth match, we lose the bar. 230 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:32,959 But with a player such as yourself on our team... 231 00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:48,434 Look, sir, I'm trying to say... 232 00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:53,872 this is for all of us a life or death situation. 233 00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:01,674 I'm begging... 234 00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:05,992 on behalf of everyone you see here tonight. 235 00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:09,833 You can make the difference. 236 00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:18,077 Just one more game? One time. 237 00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:23,631 So what do you think? 238 00:22:31,120 --> 00:22:32,348 Piss off. 239 00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:35,953 No problem. Enjoy your drink. 240 00:22:46,120 --> 00:22:49,908 One formation, Bistro. Stay in twos. 241 00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:51,433 Concentrate. 242 00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:54,670 Good! 243 00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:06,270 Whizz-offs! 244 00:23:06,360 --> 00:23:08,316 You're dead! 245 00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:12,720 What's your educated opinion? 246 00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:18,479 Big Tam's dead. 247 00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:28,150 I suppose that's it then. 248 00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:50,156 Evidence. 249 00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:10,437 Well, well, well. 250 00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:13,751 I hope you lot had nothing to do with this. 251 00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:17,833 Because I will be making a thorough investigation of his death. 252 00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:19,831 A thorough investigation? 253 00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:23,356 Geez! He smoked a hundred a day in between large whiskies. 254 00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:27,956 Excuse me, Happy Feet, but he wasn't exactly brimming with stamina. 255 00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:29,951 Excuse me... 256 00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:38,714 but that is Sergeant Hawkins to you. 257 00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:40,711 Oh. Dep-dep. 258 00:24:57,480 --> 00:24:58,993 What's happened? 259 00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:02,594 It was Big Tam. He passed away. 260 00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:07,311 I'm really sorry. 261 00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:10,631 Aye. So am I. 262 00:25:14,360 --> 00:25:16,999 Imagine a lousy game of football... 263 00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:20,595 gettin' to decide who can close down a pub. 264 00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:24,559 Football is not a lousy game, Danny. 265 00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:29,555 It's the lifeblood of the working-class man throughout the world... 266 00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:32,518 from the beaches of Brazil... 267 00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:34,875 the backstreets of Naples... 268 00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:38,430 the snow-covered grounds of Sweden. 269 00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:41,432 Children everywhere with nothing to take into their future... 270 00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:45,559 but their dream of pulling over their heads... 271 00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:48,837 the jersey of their country. 272 00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:57,191 - Do you get all that? - Yeah. 273 00:25:58,000 --> 00:25:59,718 So what next? 274 00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:02,837 Get the van back on the road. 275 00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:06,913 Then Dunbeg, then Fort William. 276 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:12,438 I'm not talking about the deliveries, Boss. I'm talking about the match. 277 00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:14,511 Who's to say, Danny? 278 00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:19,151 Who's to say? 279 00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:32,316 Come on, William. The secret castle is just ahead. 280 00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:50,710 Come on, William. 281 00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:52,756 Come back! 282 00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:55,996 Come back! 283 00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:02,995 The secret castle is just ahead. 284 00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:11,035 Don't go, William! Don't go! 285 00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:15,792 It's too dangerous! You'll fall! 286 00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:17,950 Come back! 287 00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:30,991 See? If you stop there, you'll be fine. 288 00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:37,473 - I'm just behind you. - We'll never make it, Johnny. 289 00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:42,031 You're f�ne. I'm just here. I'm right behind you. You're safe. 290 00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:49,149 Hold on, William, please! Please don't let me fall! 291 00:27:50,360 --> 00:27:52,635 Don't let me... 292 00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:06,033 Mrs Smith! 293 00:28:06,120 --> 00:28:08,429 Mrs Smith! 294 00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:32,591 Goodbye, Big Tam. 295 00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:43,071 So that's it for Benny's Bar. 296 00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:47,153 Might as well hand over the keys to Gorgeous Gus now. 297 00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:50,437 I think we should buy some explosives and blow up the Bistro. 298 00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:53,080 Listen to Carlos the Jackal. 299 00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:55,913 Dead-Eye is right. It's hopeless. 300 00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:58,718 Englishman! 301 00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:13,876 It's Latin. It's Latin. 302 00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:17,839 It means, "It's the duty of the general to overcome the enemy. " 303 00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:21,071 What you boys need is a general, a leader... 304 00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:24,357 a man who knows the battlef�eld. 305 00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:27,273 Who did you have in mind? 306 00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:29,874 Wullie, of course. 307 00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:35,797 Nobody can deny that he knows more about the game than any of you fools. 308 00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:38,633 Wullie running the team? 309 00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:41,678 Yeah. You got a better idea? 310 00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:43,512 What do you think? 311 00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:45,795 Are you prepared to give it a shot? 312 00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:48,269 Come on. Help us. 313 00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:50,715 Yeah. It'll be wild. 314 00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:52,791 What do you say? 315 00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:55,672 Come on. 316 00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:57,796 What do you say? 317 00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:08,675 Whoa! Rosemary! How you doin'? 318 00:30:08,760 --> 00:30:10,716 You're lookin' lovely in black, girl. 319 00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:13,033 Where you been? 320 00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:15,236 Did you miss me when you were away all that time? 321 00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:21,436 Can I help you, milk boy? 322 00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:28,037 You're a gimp. Come on. 323 00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:08,878 Your eyebrows are thinner. 324 00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:11,349 - No, they're not. - They are. 325 00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:13,476 There's only half there what used to be. 326 00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:15,710 You pluck them, don't you? 327 00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:17,711 Where did you learn to do that? Out there? 328 00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:20,394 Stop it. It's none of your business. 329 00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:23,471 They're nice. I like 'em. 330 00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:28,040 - So why didn't you? - What? 331 00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:29,838 Come and see me. 332 00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:35,791 - Who'd take care of my ma? - She would. 333 00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:39,475 It's crazy. She couldn't cope without me. 334 00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:43,916 They asked me to coach the team for the match. 335 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:45,718 What did you say? 336 00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:49,513 I said no. 337 00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:56,469 Say what you're thinkin'. 338 00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:01,720 Say what you're thinking. 339 00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:09,635 If it was me that lost my brother... 340 00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:12,632 I'd never risk being hurt so bad again. 341 00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:16,919 I'd hide my feelings until I hardly felt them any more. 342 00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:20,668 Don't waste your life behind a memory. 343 00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:23,751 Or something you don't even need any more. 344 00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:28,470 - I don't know what you mean. - Yes, you do. 345 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:31,319 That. 346 00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:40,558 You've got all the tools. 347 00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:43,234 You've got all the tools to be a valuable player. 348 00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:46,312 And I don't mean football. 349 00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:50,073 One day you're going to see that for yourself. 350 00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:55,071 I have to go and see my dad. 351 00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:13,550 There's nothing wrong with these sausages. 352 00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:15,949 They're a new kind. With spices added. 353 00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:21,353 Doesn't taste like spices. What kind of spices are they? 354 00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:26,872 Coriander, turmeric, West Indian cloves. 355 00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:29,110 I'll tell you what, Mrs Garner. 356 00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:31,760 Why don't I just give you some bacon... 357 00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:34,035 and I'll keep those new spicy sausages for myself. 358 00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:36,839 I suppose so. If you don't mind. 359 00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:40,515 Not at all. I've taken quite a fancy to them. 360 00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:52,313 Warm. 361 00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:03,275 - Growler, leave it. - Growler! 362 00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:19,636 I just thought you all should know what I intend to do with your beloved bar. 363 00:34:19,720 --> 00:34:24,714 A large bulldozer will be making a guest appearance for about... 364 00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:27,312 four days... 365 00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:30,995 long enough to completely demolish this... 366 00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:34,277 relic of the long-forgotten past. 367 00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:37,557 This pub belongs to the people of Inverdoune. 368 00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:42,430 And we are the people! It's there in Benny's will! 369 00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:45,876 And furthermore... 370 00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:51,439 once every nail and splinter that reminds us of the painful... 371 00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:54,273 eyesore that once stood here is gone... 372 00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:59,514 then the village can boost its f�rst car park. 373 00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:03,911 Car park? You've got the only car in the village. 374 00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:05,911 Exactly. 375 00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:23,477 Two box tickets for the Scottish Cup Final. 376 00:35:23,560 --> 00:35:24,959 Piss off. 377 00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:27,508 - A hundred pounds? - Piss off. 378 00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:30,637 And as much Claret as you can drink? 379 00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:36,796 Piss off. 380 00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:40,630 In case you change your mind. 381 00:35:48,720 --> 00:35:53,396 If any of you thought you could stroll over to the Bistro when this is over... 382 00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:54,754 forget it. 383 00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:56,751 You're all barred. 384 00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:12,269 Look at you, all feeling sorry for yourselves. 385 00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:17,350 That isn't the spirit that won the battle of Culloden! 386 00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:22,036 We got beat at Culloden! You're thinking of Bannockburn. 387 00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:24,838 Aye. 388 00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:27,593 I'm talkin' about spirit! 389 00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:30,751 Not scores. 390 00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:37,874 You've given me indigestion. I haven't even eaten. 391 00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:44,273 I'll be in my headquarters if anyone should call. 392 00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:53,679 Out! Get out of my shop, you wee bugger! 393 00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:58,990 - What are you smiling at? - Morning, Mrs Bailey. 394 00:36:59,080 --> 00:37:01,640 She's not here. She's gone to town. 395 00:37:01,720 --> 00:37:05,269 - To town? What for? - To buy her ticket to London. 396 00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:10,275 - London? - Aye! London. She has interviews. 397 00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:13,193 But she's only just come home. 398 00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:16,795 Take my advice. Forget about her. 399 00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:19,155 Relationships between men and women... 400 00:37:19,240 --> 00:37:22,949 or even men and cows takes a lot of work and effort. 401 00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:28,512 Commitment. That's the name of the game. 402 00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:31,353 Let's face it, Wullie. You're not ready for that. 403 00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:55,199 Get out of the road, you bloody idiot! 404 00:37:57,280 --> 00:37:59,396 Is everything okay? 405 00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:03,519 - What are you all doing here? - We need a ball. 406 00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:06,433 - What for? - Geography study. What do you think? 407 00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:08,431 Practise, for the match. 408 00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:12,229 - You're kidding. - Serious as a kick in the balls. 409 00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:16,074 We've taken upon ourselves to make a last-ditch effort to save the pub. 410 00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:19,038 - And our dignity. - And our dignity. Thank you, Nancy. 411 00:38:19,120 --> 00:38:21,395 Benny's Bar, man. 412 00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:27,630 - Yes! - Let's go! 413 00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:31,395 Scrapper! 414 00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:36,555 Aye? 415 00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:40,316 Nothing. 416 00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:57,315 What is it? 417 00:39:04,240 --> 00:39:06,435 What is it? 418 00:39:07,520 --> 00:39:10,034 I've been thinking about travelling. 419 00:39:10,120 --> 00:39:12,953 Seeing places, seeing the world. 420 00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:16,350 You mean London, don't you? 421 00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:23,600 She's not for you. 422 00:39:23,680 --> 00:39:27,912 Her mind's full of traffic jams. Got lungs full of bad air. 423 00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:29,479 What? 424 00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:31,915 Don't you start as well. 425 00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:39,750 I'm lonely, Ma. 426 00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:42,308 Just like you, I'm lonely. 427 00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:47,714 I miss him terrible, Ma. 428 00:39:49,880 --> 00:39:51,199 Johnny! 429 00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:54,830 That's right! Johnny! 430 00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:01,319 Gonna hold me, Ma? 431 00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:04,278 Please? Just for a second. 432 00:40:05,360 --> 00:40:08,079 Let go, William. 433 00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:10,594 Please let go. 434 00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:21,834 I may as well let go. 435 00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:25,948 What is there to hold on to? 436 00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:46,599 Fun's over, lads. 437 00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:48,238 Time to go to work. 438 00:41:05,160 --> 00:41:06,912 Listen to Wullie. 439 00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:11,551 We've only eight men here which means already we're at a disadvantage. 440 00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:14,518 So I need to f�nd everybody's best position here. 441 00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:17,478 This is my best position. 442 00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:19,278 Arrow! 443 00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:23,031 - Nancy-No-Pants, you go in goal. - A pleasure. 444 00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:25,588 Lefty and Righty, I want to see you hit the ball. 445 00:41:25,680 --> 00:41:28,638 - Don't let anything go through, okay? - All right. 446 00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:36,471 You two, hold on. I didn't say at the same time. 447 00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:39,796 Nice and easy. 448 00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:42,713 That's it. Nice and easy. 449 00:41:49,160 --> 00:41:51,276 - Stop faff�ng about, lads. - Sneak up! 450 00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:53,078 - What? - Faff�ng about. 451 00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:55,071 - What's that? - Faff�ng. Stop it! 452 00:41:55,160 --> 00:41:58,118 - Stop with that! Stop faff�ng! - Whose idea was this? 453 00:41:58,200 --> 00:42:02,034 - Yours. - Come on, boys! 454 00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:06,032 Of course, Mr MacDougall, I understand there are people in Dunbeg... 455 00:42:06,120 --> 00:42:08,315 who cannot survive without their bread. 456 00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:10,311 There's nothing I can do until the van is repaired. 457 00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:12,755 Don't tell me there's nothing you can do! 458 00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:19,548 Mr MacDougall, I... 459 00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:26,433 Book. 460 00:42:27,760 --> 00:42:30,911 Liam MacDougall, Dunbeg, 65 years old. 461 00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:33,719 Wears ladies' underwear and high heels. 462 00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:35,711 Is that true, Boss? 463 00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:39,315 It's a rumour I'm going to start about the bastard as soon as we get to Dunbeg. 464 00:42:39,400 --> 00:42:41,834 Let's go and see Mechanic. 465 00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:43,911 Right. I've got it. Yes. Here. 466 00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:51,154 Hello, hello Ninety-nine in a row 467 00:42:51,240 --> 00:42:54,949 You all right, Ronaldo? 468 00:42:57,720 --> 00:42:59,438 Bastard! 469 00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:03,838 Leave 'em. Leave 'em. 470 00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:07,629 Let 'em go. Let them get the stiffness out of their bones. 471 00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:14,995 I think it's time that you and I... 472 00:43:15,080 --> 00:43:17,833 we're gonna go taste the f�ner things in life. 473 00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:19,558 Come on! 474 00:43:19,640 --> 00:43:23,679 This doesn't look like a garage, Boss. 475 00:43:23,760 --> 00:43:27,150 - You think this is the right place? - God only knows. 476 00:43:34,560 --> 00:43:37,358 Boss. Boss! 477 00:43:38,680 --> 00:43:40,591 What? Was it him? 478 00:43:42,160 --> 00:43:44,799 - Mechanic? - No, Tommy. 479 00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:48,193 Danny. 480 00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:50,840 I've run out of petrol three miles down the road. 481 00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:54,549 If you see Mechanic, tell him I'm in the white Jaguar, licence plate A-S-1. 482 00:43:54,640 --> 00:43:57,598 No bother. Wonder what the "A-S" stands for? 483 00:43:59,080 --> 00:44:01,310 - You all right? - Aye. 484 00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:07,437 - Boss... - Stop that. 485 00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:10,552 All right, lads? 486 00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:12,676 You play the violin? 487 00:44:13,520 --> 00:44:16,193 I like the shape. 488 00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:18,271 It gets me hard. 489 00:44:19,320 --> 00:44:21,390 How long for the repair? 490 00:44:21,480 --> 00:44:23,391 Seven-and-a-half weeks. 491 00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:26,756 - What? - Seven-and-a-half weeks? 492 00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:29,115 I had to send to Austria for the parts. 493 00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:31,316 - Austria? - Aye. 494 00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:40,549 This is Captain Wullie. 495 00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:45,031 Return to base on bearing 3975... 496 00:44:45,120 --> 00:44:47,554 for your scones and your tea... 497 00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:51,988 for your scones and tea. 498 00:44:53,120 --> 00:44:54,838 Out. 499 00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:06,156 What we need, Buffalo, is a fund-raiser... 500 00:45:06,240 --> 00:45:08,993 so we can buy uniforms for the lads. 501 00:45:09,080 --> 00:45:12,755 That's a good idea. A fund-raiser. 502 00:45:12,840 --> 00:45:14,796 A theme night. 503 00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:17,872 You know, where everyone dresses up in the theme. 504 00:45:17,960 --> 00:45:20,349 Yeah! Good idea! 505 00:45:20,440 --> 00:45:23,432 What'd I tell you about you? 506 00:45:23,520 --> 00:45:27,798 Yeah, a theme night. You come in, you get a f�fth of whisky. 507 00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:31,668 You drink it, and if you don't die, they give you another one. 508 00:45:31,760 --> 00:45:33,671 Last guy standing wins the bar. 509 00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:35,239 Do you miss her? 510 00:45:35,320 --> 00:45:37,880 Not bad. Huh? 511 00:45:39,680 --> 00:45:41,432 Do you miss her? 512 00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:54,036 Every damn day. What do you think? 513 00:45:55,040 --> 00:45:57,349 Why did she leave? 514 00:46:03,240 --> 00:46:08,519 Because in all the time I knew her... 515 00:46:08,600 --> 00:46:11,433 I never told her how I felt. 516 00:46:12,960 --> 00:46:17,238 Women... they need that. 517 00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:22,474 They need to know how a man... how he feels. 518 00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:27,395 And I just should have said something. 519 00:46:38,040 --> 00:46:39,951 Anybody got a camera? 520 00:46:46,640 --> 00:46:48,631 Would you look at that? 521 00:46:57,600 --> 00:47:01,559 There's a few things I need to tell you. Now don't be scared, okay? 522 00:47:05,120 --> 00:47:06,951 What? 523 00:47:12,400 --> 00:47:13,719 All right, lads? 524 00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:15,711 Go, William. Go, William. 525 00:47:20,040 --> 00:47:21,359 Go on. 526 00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:28,514 Every time I look upon your face... 527 00:47:28,600 --> 00:47:31,273 my heart stops... 528 00:47:31,360 --> 00:47:33,510 I lose my breath... 529 00:47:34,160 --> 00:47:37,630 my mind goes mental... 530 00:47:38,320 --> 00:47:41,835 because I think you're the most beautiful girl... 531 00:47:41,920 --> 00:47:43,831 in the whole world. 532 00:47:56,720 --> 00:47:58,950 - Hey, Rosemary... - All right! That is enough! 533 00:47:59,040 --> 00:48:00,951 Let him f�nish, you big wanker. 534 00:48:01,040 --> 00:48:03,554 That's enough of that. You are disturbing the peace. 535 00:48:03,640 --> 00:48:07,918 - The whole village is on the street. - We received a call. 536 00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:12,152 - Who would do that? - I would. Want to make something of it? 537 00:48:12,240 --> 00:48:15,312 - Mother! - To bed with you, girl! 538 00:48:15,400 --> 00:48:19,109 - Sorry, Wullie. - I'm taking you home. 539 00:48:19,200 --> 00:48:22,909 Don't worry! They got a nice breakfast! 540 00:48:24,520 --> 00:48:26,033 You did it! 541 00:48:26,120 --> 00:48:29,669 - You did it! - Oh, yeah! So long! 542 00:48:37,440 --> 00:48:39,749 What are you staring at? 543 00:48:41,280 --> 00:48:43,191 Your sad eyes. 544 00:48:44,160 --> 00:48:48,870 Your beautiful sad eyes. 545 00:48:59,120 --> 00:49:01,031 I'm a gentleman. 546 00:49:06,120 --> 00:49:07,394 Onward! 547 00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:44,598 It's time for breakfast! 548 00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:02,748 You gorgeous bastard. 549 00:50:06,120 --> 00:50:08,953 Kodak moment, is it? 550 00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:10,758 "Stripper"? 551 00:50:14,960 --> 00:50:17,679 - I'm not stripping. - Come on, Nancy. It'll be a laugh. 552 00:50:17,760 --> 00:50:19,671 For you maybe, but not for me. 553 00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:22,832 You never know. Piss Off might be there. 554 00:50:22,920 --> 00:50:24,831 Okay, I'll do it. 555 00:50:30,560 --> 00:50:32,312 Go! 556 00:50:32,400 --> 00:50:33,833 Defend and break! 557 00:50:48,640 --> 00:50:50,153 Yes! 558 00:50:53,200 --> 00:50:54,235 Sweep it in! 559 00:51:04,800 --> 00:51:06,233 Come on! 560 00:51:49,400 --> 00:51:51,311 I was just wondering... 561 00:51:55,240 --> 00:51:57,196 Listen, I was wondering... 562 00:51:58,400 --> 00:52:01,278 if you knew where I could get some socks. 563 00:52:01,360 --> 00:52:04,796 I just washed these this morning, and I realized this was the only pair I had. 564 00:52:04,880 --> 00:52:07,519 I was wondering maybe you might sell them here. 565 00:52:07,600 --> 00:52:09,511 - Socks? - Yeah. 566 00:52:09,600 --> 00:52:11,511 Certainly. 567 00:52:15,440 --> 00:52:18,637 I was wondering also maybe... 568 00:52:18,720 --> 00:52:21,598 you might want to put one of these in your window. 569 00:52:23,320 --> 00:52:25,470 Help the boys out with their endeavour. 570 00:52:25,560 --> 00:52:28,120 I'll think about it. 571 00:52:31,120 --> 00:52:33,680 So I was... 572 00:52:38,560 --> 00:52:40,630 I'll see you. 573 00:52:41,920 --> 00:52:46,516 I'll stop by the next time I'm looking for a pair of socks. 574 00:52:57,840 --> 00:53:00,559 Growler, is that you? Open the door! 575 00:53:00,640 --> 00:53:02,949 - Open the door. - Tell you what, love. 576 00:53:03,040 --> 00:53:05,110 I'll let you out if you buy a ticket. 577 00:53:05,200 --> 00:53:06,918 - Buy a ticket. - What is it? 578 00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:09,036 Two pound, 50. Hawaiian night, Benny's Bar. 579 00:53:09,120 --> 00:53:11,031 We're not interested. 580 00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:17,873 - Just you wait. Open the door. - Two pound, 50. 581 00:53:17,960 --> 00:53:21,475 - You bloody scunner. - Love, give me two pound, 50. 582 00:53:21,560 --> 00:53:23,790 I'll see your mother. I'm telling you. 583 00:53:23,880 --> 00:53:25,791 - That's a girl. - Get out of my sight. Move it! 584 00:53:25,880 --> 00:53:27,154 Have a good night. 585 00:53:27,240 --> 00:53:30,789 - Scrapper! Arrow! - Aye! Come back, girl. 586 00:53:30,880 --> 00:53:32,871 Bloody bampour, that boy. 587 00:54:08,920 --> 00:54:11,514 What the... 588 00:54:15,560 --> 00:54:18,518 You can't beat that superglue. Good for a thousand uses. 589 00:54:18,600 --> 00:54:21,160 Aye, a thousand and one. 590 00:54:23,200 --> 00:54:26,078 Okay, boys, couple of bucks in this for you. 591 00:54:26,160 --> 00:54:30,312 You stick this in his coat. You do your stuff. Go to it. 592 00:54:32,120 --> 00:54:35,829 Wee bastards. I'll kick your asses when I get off this wall! 593 00:54:35,920 --> 00:54:38,309 Shut up, ya big wanker. 594 00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:41,312 Gus is a wanker Gus is a wanker 595 00:54:41,400 --> 00:54:44,039 Looking good there, Gorgeous! 596 00:54:44,120 --> 00:54:48,272 You wee beasties! I'll kick your tails when I get off this wall! 597 00:54:52,480 --> 00:54:53,151 What... 598 00:54:54,960 --> 00:54:56,313 Get off, mangy mutt! 599 00:54:58,800 --> 00:55:01,234 There he is there. 600 00:55:09,640 --> 00:55:12,632 - Am I glad you're here. - Really? 601 00:55:12,720 --> 00:55:14,756 I wouldn't be too sure of that if I were you. 602 00:55:14,840 --> 00:55:17,195 Hey. What you doin'? 603 00:55:19,480 --> 00:55:21,516 - Whose is that? - You don't know? 604 00:55:22,400 --> 00:55:24,311 It's mine. 605 00:55:25,120 --> 00:55:27,793 Somebody must have put it there. Honest. 606 00:55:27,880 --> 00:55:30,633 I took you for a law-abiding person. 607 00:55:30,720 --> 00:55:34,429 Indecent exposure, theft... 608 00:55:34,520 --> 00:55:36,750 attacking a poor, defenceless creature. 609 00:55:36,840 --> 00:55:39,912 - You're jokin'. - The law has no humour. 610 00:55:40,760 --> 00:55:43,991 After the match, you're mine. 611 00:55:49,280 --> 00:55:51,396 Help! 612 00:55:51,480 --> 00:55:53,516 Somebody help! 613 00:55:57,640 --> 00:55:59,995 Toss me that screwdriver. 614 00:56:01,680 --> 00:56:05,309 I think I should actually hide these behind the bar until later. 615 00:56:05,400 --> 00:56:08,233 What's up, Coach? 616 00:56:08,320 --> 00:56:10,550 - I lost my job today. - What? 617 00:56:10,640 --> 00:56:14,315 - Bailey said I'm neglecting my work. - He what? 618 00:56:14,400 --> 00:56:17,472 What complete sausage. 619 00:56:17,560 --> 00:56:20,199 - What are you going to do, kiddo? - I don't know. 620 00:56:20,280 --> 00:56:23,113 I'll tell you what you're going to do. You're going to keep that chin up. 621 00:56:23,200 --> 00:56:25,350 Come and look at our new strips. Come on. 622 00:56:30,920 --> 00:56:33,388 Look at the names on them! 623 00:56:33,480 --> 00:56:36,756 You know what tonight is? It's... 624 00:56:36,840 --> 00:56:39,673 Party night! 625 00:56:58,680 --> 00:57:01,240 - All right, lads? - All right! 626 00:57:01,320 --> 00:57:04,790 - Your van's ready. - You said seven-and-a-half weeks. 627 00:57:05,880 --> 00:57:08,917 - Had to send to Austria for the parts. - Austria, yeah. 628 00:57:09,000 --> 00:57:11,719 I was talking about the violin. 629 00:57:31,960 --> 00:57:35,396 Seven-and-a-half weeks to f�x the van? 630 00:57:37,320 --> 00:57:39,629 I like that. 631 00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:43,468 That gets me hard. 632 00:57:47,360 --> 00:57:49,271 - Evening. - Hello. 633 00:57:49,360 --> 00:57:51,669 You look beautiful. 634 00:57:53,040 --> 00:57:57,875 - Here. There you go. - Thanks. 635 00:57:57,960 --> 00:57:59,951 Will you buy me a drink? 636 00:58:00,040 --> 00:58:02,679 Sure. What's your pleasure? 637 00:58:02,760 --> 00:58:04,478 What's yours? 638 00:58:52,080 --> 00:58:53,798 Quiet! 639 00:58:55,640 --> 00:58:57,915 Quiet, please! 640 00:59:01,720 --> 00:59:03,438 Shut up! 641 00:59:07,160 --> 00:59:11,073 I just want to thank you all for your support tonight. 642 00:59:16,480 --> 00:59:19,392 And let's hear it for chief coach Wullie! 643 00:59:38,640 --> 00:59:42,110 There's no strips here. They've gone. 644 00:59:42,200 --> 00:59:43,918 Get real! 645 00:59:47,600 --> 00:59:50,717 Whoa. What did you say? 646 00:59:50,800 --> 00:59:52,916 I said get real. 647 00:59:53,000 --> 00:59:55,275 Just what is your problem, pal? 648 00:59:55,360 --> 00:59:59,592 Dreamers like you and the rest of your team. 649 00:59:59,680 --> 01:00:01,796 Who are you foolin'? 650 01:00:01,880 --> 01:00:06,032 Truth is, you're gonna get beaten. Benny's will be a closed shop on Monday. 651 01:00:06,120 --> 01:00:08,031 No thanks to you. 652 01:00:08,120 --> 01:00:11,157 In the real world, people get jobs to solve their problems... 653 01:00:11,240 --> 01:00:13,151 not a game of football. 654 01:00:13,240 --> 01:00:18,633 Piss off, why don't you just piss right off? 655 01:00:29,920 --> 01:00:31,831 Excuse me, Mr Doris? 656 01:00:35,560 --> 01:00:39,348 - You're making a mistake. - A what? 657 01:00:41,280 --> 01:00:44,352 You think the lads don't like you because you won't play for the team. 658 01:00:44,440 --> 01:00:45,793 That's not true. 659 01:00:46,520 --> 01:00:49,910 They're always going on about how great a footballer you are... 660 01:00:50,000 --> 01:00:52,150 all the goals you scored. 661 01:00:52,240 --> 01:00:55,630 Scrapper thinks you're a genius. 662 01:00:55,720 --> 01:00:58,632 And Arrow says you're brilliant. 663 01:00:59,920 --> 01:01:01,831 But you're right though. 664 01:01:02,920 --> 01:01:05,878 I think we are dreamin'. 665 01:01:06,840 --> 01:01:09,752 Benny's isn't just a pub. 666 01:01:09,840 --> 01:01:13,515 It's like a huge living room where friends come... 667 01:01:13,600 --> 01:01:15,989 chat, have a laugh... 668 01:01:16,080 --> 01:01:18,116 a family. 669 01:01:19,840 --> 01:01:21,956 I don't know about you, Mr Doris... 670 01:01:22,040 --> 01:01:25,191 but I need friends. 671 01:01:37,840 --> 01:01:40,593 I came to say goodbye. 672 01:01:40,680 --> 01:01:42,796 I'm on the early train. 673 01:01:47,680 --> 01:01:49,591 I lost my job today. 674 01:01:51,000 --> 01:01:52,672 I heard. 675 01:01:55,240 --> 01:01:58,994 I was thinking of maybe travelling down to London myself after the match. 676 01:02:01,600 --> 01:02:04,068 You belong here. 677 01:02:21,520 --> 01:02:25,433 Pucker up your lips! I'm coming in to land! 678 01:02:53,440 --> 01:02:55,158 Book. 679 01:02:57,000 --> 01:02:59,150 Struggle is... 680 01:03:01,680 --> 01:03:03,830 No, forget it. 681 01:03:10,240 --> 01:03:12,151 What'll happen now? 682 01:03:12,240 --> 01:03:15,994 I don't know. We're right back where we started. 683 01:03:16,080 --> 01:03:19,152 I f�gure... They won't turn up. 684 01:03:21,560 --> 01:03:23,710 What about Rosemary? 685 01:03:24,840 --> 01:03:27,479 She's leaving tomorrow. 686 01:03:29,000 --> 01:03:31,195 That's going to break Wullie's heart. 687 01:03:31,280 --> 01:03:33,236 His won't be the only one. 688 01:03:35,160 --> 01:03:36,832 Good night, Sheila. 689 01:03:37,920 --> 01:03:40,593 - Buffalo? - Yeah? 690 01:04:10,480 --> 01:04:12,198 Wow. 691 01:04:14,480 --> 01:04:15,993 Wow. 692 01:05:28,440 --> 01:05:30,158 Come here. 693 01:05:31,120 --> 01:05:33,429 Sit down beside me. 694 01:05:46,040 --> 01:05:48,952 You're a good son, William Smith. 695 01:05:56,520 --> 01:05:59,114 I miss him. 696 01:05:59,200 --> 01:06:01,873 I miss Johnny too. 697 01:06:08,240 --> 01:06:10,196 But I have you. 698 01:06:12,320 --> 01:06:14,276 You mean that, Ma? 699 01:06:14,360 --> 01:06:16,112 I do. 700 01:06:17,200 --> 01:06:19,156 I really do. 701 01:06:24,640 --> 01:06:26,915 What about the drink? 702 01:06:29,840 --> 01:06:32,274 It's not easy... 703 01:06:35,440 --> 01:06:37,749 but I'll try. 704 01:06:44,760 --> 01:06:47,752 And what about you, William Smith? 705 01:06:47,840 --> 01:06:52,755 What's to become of you if you don't try and save the day? 706 01:06:56,800 --> 01:07:00,156 I'm going to tell you a secret that no one else knows. 707 01:07:02,480 --> 01:07:06,359 The reason for the bet between the two pubs a hundred years ago. 708 01:07:08,080 --> 01:07:12,278 It's all about two men who were in love with the same girl. 709 01:07:13,160 --> 01:07:15,071 But she loved Benny. 710 01:07:16,480 --> 01:07:21,793 She Joved him so much she decided to leave Inverdoune for his sake. 711 01:07:21,880 --> 01:07:25,350 She didn't want to come between two friends. 712 01:07:31,280 --> 01:07:36,195 But by then it was too late. They had already made the bet. 713 01:07:40,640 --> 01:07:42,710 How do you know all that? 714 01:07:45,040 --> 01:07:47,634 Because the girl was pregnant... 715 01:07:50,720 --> 01:07:52,711 with my mother. 716 01:08:01,320 --> 01:08:04,232 You're Benny's great-grandson. 717 01:08:38,360 --> 01:08:40,396 All right, Bistro! 718 01:08:50,880 --> 01:08:53,997 Thirty minutes, then it's a forfeit. 719 01:08:59,240 --> 01:09:02,755 Get my champagne ready, darling. 720 01:09:12,200 --> 01:09:14,111 Bastard. 721 01:09:32,400 --> 01:09:36,518 Running nice and sweet. So off to Dunbeg. 722 01:09:36,600 --> 01:09:38,636 I didn't know you played football. 723 01:09:38,720 --> 01:09:41,678 You know, the other day outside the phone box with the kids. 724 01:09:41,760 --> 01:09:43,591 That was very good. 725 01:09:43,680 --> 01:09:46,752 Yeah, I used to play until I did my knee. 726 01:09:46,840 --> 01:09:50,799 - Aye. How's your knee now? - It's f�ne. 727 01:09:50,880 --> 01:09:52,791 Really? 728 01:09:55,160 --> 01:09:57,549 Four minutes to go. 729 01:10:01,080 --> 01:10:03,958 What you doin' here? Lost your aeroplane? 730 01:10:04,040 --> 01:10:05,996 Poor Patsy. 731 01:10:06,080 --> 01:10:07,991 You'll be looking for a job, eh? 732 01:10:08,080 --> 01:10:10,355 In your dreams. 733 01:10:19,680 --> 01:10:22,433 Ten seconds to go. 734 01:10:22,520 --> 01:10:25,273 Nine, eight... 735 01:10:25,360 --> 01:10:27,999 seven, six... 736 01:10:28,080 --> 01:10:31,072 I wouldn't pop your cork too soon now, if I were you. 737 01:10:45,880 --> 01:10:48,792 Two, one. 738 01:12:11,480 --> 01:12:13,198 Yes! 739 01:12:21,080 --> 01:12:23,469 Captains! 740 01:12:23,560 --> 01:12:25,949 - Happy. - Scrapper. 741 01:12:26,040 --> 01:12:27,792 Dingus. 742 01:12:32,960 --> 01:12:37,192 After the match, Benny's Bar is history. 743 01:12:37,280 --> 01:12:41,432 Really? You want to take a good look at your wife's underwear, son? 744 01:12:47,960 --> 01:12:49,678 Listen up! 745 01:12:49,760 --> 01:12:51,273 Listen up! 746 01:12:51,360 --> 01:12:53,396 We all know why we're here. 747 01:12:53,480 --> 01:12:57,234 I want you to get in there and play with your pride. Understand? 748 01:12:58,000 --> 01:13:00,958 Defend and attack. Defend and attack. 749 01:13:01,040 --> 01:13:03,759 For Benny! Let's go! 750 01:13:11,480 --> 01:13:13,869 - To the left! - Plenty of time. 751 01:13:16,720 --> 01:13:18,073 To your man! 752 01:13:25,240 --> 01:13:27,629 Jesus Christ! The wrong side! 753 01:13:27,720 --> 01:13:29,915 - That was Growler's fault! - Okay, Arrow. 754 01:13:36,440 --> 01:13:38,271 Use your heads! 755 01:13:39,600 --> 01:13:40,919 All right? 756 01:13:43,680 --> 01:13:45,796 Here we go! Let's go! 757 01:13:48,920 --> 01:13:50,672 Charlie! 758 01:13:50,760 --> 01:13:52,034 Get back, Bistro! 759 01:13:52,920 --> 01:13:53,955 Up! 760 01:13:59,640 --> 01:14:01,631 That was a blatant foul! 761 01:14:07,240 --> 01:14:11,313 Gus! Watch! Come on. 762 01:14:11,400 --> 01:14:14,119 Let's go, boys! Come on! 763 01:14:22,640 --> 01:14:24,631 That's enough! Come on! 764 01:14:24,720 --> 01:14:27,154 I need four! Cover him! 765 01:14:27,240 --> 01:14:28,798 Relax! 766 01:14:28,880 --> 01:14:31,838 Come on! Come on! That's it! 767 01:14:33,160 --> 01:14:36,118 Concentrate! Keep your eye on the ball! 768 01:14:43,080 --> 01:14:43,990 Yes! 769 01:14:44,800 --> 01:14:46,472 Yes! Yes! 770 01:14:46,560 --> 01:14:48,869 Get out! Get back there! 771 01:14:48,960 --> 01:14:51,793 Growler! Use your man here! 772 01:14:52,520 --> 01:14:55,990 - Two backs! - What's going on? Wake up! 773 01:15:17,720 --> 01:15:20,029 Growler, move in your man here! 774 01:15:21,280 --> 01:15:24,397 Come on, boys. They're running rings around you! 775 01:15:27,200 --> 01:15:30,909 You're standing there still! Come on! Move into the ball! 776 01:15:32,160 --> 01:15:34,071 Boys, they're playing with you. 777 01:15:37,760 --> 01:15:39,193 Half-time! 778 01:15:41,200 --> 01:15:44,397 - Losers! - You're dead meat! You know that? 779 01:15:44,480 --> 01:15:46,835 You hear me? You're dead meat! 780 01:15:48,320 --> 01:15:50,629 - Let me alone! - Calm down! 781 01:15:53,680 --> 01:15:56,148 Hello, hello 782 01:15:56,240 --> 01:15:58,356 Ninety-nine in a row 783 01:16:17,600 --> 01:16:19,511 It's two-nothing, Bistro. It's close. 784 01:16:19,600 --> 01:16:22,239 - Right. - Close game. 785 01:16:22,320 --> 01:16:24,231 Close game. Close game. 786 01:16:32,240 --> 01:16:33,559 Get up. 787 01:16:34,840 --> 01:16:37,149 Get up! 788 01:16:37,240 --> 01:16:39,800 Get up on your feet! 789 01:16:39,880 --> 01:16:41,598 Come on! 790 01:16:44,400 --> 01:16:46,709 Listen to you lot. 791 01:16:47,840 --> 01:16:50,115 Where's your pride? 792 01:16:51,200 --> 01:16:54,351 You're 45 minutes away from nowhere to go tonight... 793 01:16:54,440 --> 01:16:56,396 nowhere to go every night. 794 01:16:56,480 --> 01:16:58,391 Do you understand that? 795 01:16:58,480 --> 01:17:00,391 Do you understand? 796 01:17:01,640 --> 01:17:05,189 This is not just a game of football! 797 01:17:06,480 --> 01:17:10,029 This is about someone trying to take away our identity. 798 01:17:10,120 --> 01:17:14,113 I'm not going to let that happen and neither are any of you. 799 01:17:17,080 --> 01:17:22,200 If Benny was alive, he'd be ashamed of us for the way we just played. 800 01:17:23,640 --> 01:17:27,553 You think he would have made the bet a hundred years ago knowing we'd lose? 801 01:17:27,640 --> 01:17:30,200 No, he would not. 802 01:17:33,520 --> 01:17:36,671 We've 99 defeats. 803 01:17:39,240 --> 01:17:42,516 It takes just one victory. 804 01:17:47,200 --> 01:17:50,715 Every one of you get back on that f�eld... 805 01:17:50,800 --> 01:17:54,076 and play as though your lives depended on it. 806 01:17:56,080 --> 01:17:58,514 Your lives depended on it. 807 01:18:26,240 --> 01:18:27,559 Come on! 808 01:18:38,160 --> 01:18:39,309 Yes! 809 01:18:45,160 --> 01:18:46,388 Re-form! 810 01:19:02,040 --> 01:19:03,553 Go, boys! 811 01:19:10,680 --> 01:19:12,398 Let's go! 812 01:19:27,200 --> 01:19:29,316 Yes! 813 01:19:43,480 --> 01:19:45,118 Oh, yes! 814 01:19:47,600 --> 01:19:49,636 You bastard. 815 01:20:02,000 --> 01:20:04,116 I'm doing this for you... 816 01:20:07,440 --> 01:20:08,953 and for me. 817 01:20:09,040 --> 01:20:12,237 All right, Benny's Bar! Let's go! 818 01:20:16,640 --> 01:20:19,677 He's an ex-pro! He can't play! 819 01:20:19,760 --> 01:20:23,992 The rules are if he drinks in the pub, he can play for the pub. 820 01:20:42,520 --> 01:20:44,954 Yes! That's it, Charlie! 821 01:20:45,040 --> 01:20:48,635 Man on! Watch it! Come on! Outside flank! 822 01:20:51,400 --> 01:20:53,152 Okay, now, mate! 823 01:20:53,240 --> 01:20:55,231 Yeah! Go! 824 01:20:57,200 --> 01:20:58,315 Come on! 825 01:21:04,800 --> 01:21:06,711 Yes! Come on! 826 01:21:21,320 --> 01:21:22,230 Yes! 827 01:21:23,400 --> 01:21:25,630 - Yes! - Come on, Benny's Bar! 828 01:21:36,840 --> 01:21:38,751 Mark your man, Dead-Eye! 829 01:21:41,200 --> 01:21:42,519 Use your man! 830 01:21:42,600 --> 01:21:44,511 Come on, Charlie! Get in there! 831 01:21:51,440 --> 01:21:52,475 Come on, lads! 832 01:22:17,840 --> 01:22:21,116 Goal, eh? What does that do to you, eh? 833 01:22:23,720 --> 01:22:26,393 Come on! Pick it up, boys! You're on your way! 834 01:22:28,760 --> 01:22:31,558 Come on, Referee! He's all over me, man! 835 01:22:33,320 --> 01:22:34,514 He's got it! 836 01:22:43,640 --> 01:22:46,393 Get up, you dirty, cheating scum! 837 01:22:46,480 --> 01:22:50,393 Penalty! Come on, Ref! That's a penalty! 838 01:22:50,480 --> 01:22:52,994 - The bastard's gone swimming! - Get off him! 839 01:22:53,080 --> 01:22:55,719 Get up, bastard! Come on! 840 01:22:55,800 --> 01:22:57,597 That's a penalty to Benny's. 841 01:22:57,680 --> 01:22:59,398 Christ! 842 01:23:13,640 --> 01:23:17,235 You've got 15 seconds to the end of the match. 843 01:23:17,320 --> 01:23:19,629 Make your minds up. 844 01:23:19,720 --> 01:23:21,915 Danny, you get... 845 01:23:26,480 --> 01:23:29,677 Shut up! You've no time to argue. 846 01:23:33,120 --> 01:23:35,031 You're the 11 th man. 847 01:23:35,120 --> 01:23:37,714 You take the penalty. 848 01:24:14,800 --> 01:24:17,633 - We'll never make it, Johnny. - You're fine. I'm just here. 849 01:24:17,720 --> 01:24:20,154 I'm right behind you. You're safe. 850 01:24:21,240 --> 01:24:24,312 William, please! Please don't let me fall! 851 01:25:29,600 --> 01:25:32,751 God! God! No! 852 01:25:32,840 --> 01:25:35,400 Suppose that's the end of your Bistro. 853 01:25:36,320 --> 01:25:39,437 - Who the hell are you? - I'm Carol's husband. 854 01:25:39,520 --> 01:25:41,511 I've just come back from making my fortune. 855 01:25:42,600 --> 01:25:45,512 My name's McGhee, John McGhee. 856 01:25:46,600 --> 01:25:48,556 I've got a present for you. 857 01:26:10,120 --> 01:26:12,509 I didn't know. I thought you were... 858 01:27:17,240 --> 01:27:19,151 We don't need your bar. 859 01:27:38,240 --> 01:27:40,754 Yes! Easy! 860 01:27:48,000 --> 01:27:51,117 Englishman! 61617

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