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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,050 --> 00:00:25,666 Re-Sync & Improved By: FidelPerez Subtitle By: explosiveskull Sub Upload Date: August 12, 2018 2 00:00:36,050 --> 00:00:40,118 Someone once said, "We don't stop playing because we grow old. 3 00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:43,254 "We grow old because we stop playing." 4 00:00:43,256 --> 00:00:45,022 When you're a kid, you can't imagine 5 00:00:45,024 --> 00:00:47,224 having any other group of friends. 6 00:00:47,226 --> 00:00:49,826 You think you're gonna be buddies forever. 7 00:00:49,828 --> 00:00:53,363 Of course, for most people, that just doesn't happen. 8 00:00:53,365 --> 00:00:57,766 But my friends and I, we figured out a way around that. 9 00:00:57,768 --> 00:01:00,370 We just never stopped playing. 10 00:01:00,372 --> 00:01:04,139 And I like to think that simple thing, playing a game 11 00:01:04,141 --> 00:01:07,510 is what made me the man I am today. 12 00:01:11,748 --> 00:01:14,985 So, the man you are today wants to be a janitor. 13 00:01:15,452 --> 00:01:16,817 Yes. 14 00:01:16,819 --> 00:01:19,219 Look, Dr. Malloy, I'm looking at your resume. 15 00:01:19,221 --> 00:01:22,022 It says you got a Ph.D. in veterinary medicine 16 00:01:22,024 --> 00:01:24,957 and that you actually have a successful practice right now. 17 00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:28,761 Look, there comes a time in every man's life 18 00:01:28,763 --> 00:01:30,695 where you just gotta take stock. 19 00:01:30,697 --> 00:01:34,835 Ask yourself, "What's really important? What's on your bucket list?" 20 00:01:36,570 --> 00:01:38,502 So, let me get this straight. 21 00:01:38,504 --> 00:01:41,839 On your bucket list, you don't have, like, skydiving or rock climbing 22 00:01:41,841 --> 00:01:44,708 or tap dancing, maybe? Dancing with wolves? 23 00:01:44,710 --> 00:01:46,377 Which I believe that has to be a thing. 24 00:01:46,379 --> 00:01:48,012 They wouldn't have made a movie if it wasn't, you know? 25 00:01:48,014 --> 00:01:51,315 All I know is that, for me, what I really want 26 00:01:51,317 --> 00:01:57,554 is to clean the urine off of that man's toilet seat. 27 00:01:58,323 --> 00:01:59,623 Talking about the boss. 28 00:02:01,592 --> 00:02:02,924 Mr. Callahan. 29 00:02:02,926 --> 00:02:04,659 Yeah, he's a great man. This is a great company. 30 00:02:04,661 --> 00:02:07,231 Anything I can do to get closer to that guy, sign me up. 31 00:02:08,232 --> 00:02:09,563 Okay, look, man. 32 00:02:09,565 --> 00:02:11,732 Honestly, any other situation, I would just tell you 33 00:02:11,734 --> 00:02:13,734 to get the fuck out my office, okay? 34 00:02:13,736 --> 00:02:17,073 But we do need the help, so when can you start? 35 00:02:22,778 --> 00:02:24,711 I've already begun. 36 00:02:24,713 --> 00:02:26,312 What the fuck was that? 37 00:02:26,314 --> 00:02:28,013 - Uh... - I haven't even opened that yet. 38 00:02:28,015 --> 00:02:31,250 Uh... I'm sorry. I was trying to be proactive. 39 00:02:31,252 --> 00:02:33,087 Today. I can start today. 40 00:02:35,056 --> 00:02:36,921 - Why don't I get you another Coke? - You do that, we good. 41 00:02:36,923 --> 00:02:39,559 - Okay. - But don't throw away no more new stuff. 42 00:02:40,428 --> 00:02:41,692 You will not be disappointed. 43 00:02:41,694 --> 00:02:42,927 We don't have to shake hands, man. 44 00:02:42,929 --> 00:02:45,065 - Okay. I'll be right back. - Sure. 45 00:02:47,066 --> 00:02:48,233 White people. 46 00:02:53,038 --> 00:02:56,306 All right, Bob. You're the CEO of a Fortune 800 company. 47 00:02:56,308 --> 00:02:59,909 You have commanded the respect of coworkers and vendors alike 48 00:02:59,911 --> 00:03:03,345 and that is why you're being interviewed by the big boys. 49 00:03:03,347 --> 00:03:05,048 The Wall Street Journal. 50 00:03:09,753 --> 00:03:11,585 - Miss Crosby. - Oh, hi. 51 00:03:11,587 --> 00:03:13,488 - Hi. Bob Callahan. - Rebecca. 52 00:03:13,490 --> 00:03:15,255 - Thank you so much for taking the time. - Oh, thank you. 53 00:03:15,257 --> 00:03:17,791 Should we just get right into it? 54 00:03:17,793 --> 00:03:20,827 - Yeah, let's jump right in. - All right. Well, here's what I would love 55 00:03:20,829 --> 00:03:22,362 for your readers to know about our company. 56 00:03:22,364 --> 00:03:26,265 We are young. We are dynamic. We are fun. 57 00:03:26,267 --> 00:03:29,469 Uh... So let's talk about diabetes. 58 00:03:29,471 --> 00:03:33,038 Mr. Callahan, how do you respond to the idea that your industry uses 59 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:35,742 captive insurance to move risk off balance sheets? 60 00:03:36,577 --> 00:03:39,211 Well, great question. 61 00:03:39,213 --> 00:03:40,845 Tough, but fair. 62 00:03:40,847 --> 00:03:45,316 Um... I guess I would say that what I love about Freedom Atlantic 63 00:03:45,318 --> 00:03:47,918 is that we're not like other insurance companies. 64 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:52,021 Uh... We're big, but small. 65 00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:54,157 Small. 66 00:03:54,159 --> 00:03:55,759 We are, um... 67 00:03:56,660 --> 00:03:58,128 You know, we're complex... 68 00:03:58,130 --> 00:04:01,130 Uh... And yet... And yet also simple. 69 00:04:01,132 --> 00:04:04,732 And we are global... 70 00:04:07,271 --> 00:04:09,704 - Yet local. - That's exactly right. 71 00:04:09,706 --> 00:04:13,307 Sorry, one second. Hey, could you maybe come back at another time? 72 00:04:13,309 --> 00:04:15,909 We're just right in the middle of something. Sir? 73 00:04:15,911 --> 00:04:18,247 I'm afraid not, Bob. 74 00:04:18,947 --> 00:04:20,447 Jesus Christ, Hoagie! 75 00:04:20,449 --> 00:04:22,816 What are you doing here? How did you get past security? 76 00:04:22,818 --> 00:04:25,485 I didn't. I work here. 77 00:04:25,487 --> 00:04:29,355 You got a job at my company, so you could try to tag me? 78 00:04:29,357 --> 00:04:30,756 Come on, Bob, it's over. 79 00:04:30,758 --> 00:04:33,325 You don't think I can escape from my own conference room? 80 00:04:33,327 --> 00:04:34,826 - Where are you gonna go? - Well, guess what? 81 00:04:34,828 --> 00:04:36,428 Watch now, 'cause this is happening. 82 00:04:38,832 --> 00:04:40,865 - God. - God dang it! 83 00:04:40,867 --> 00:04:43,434 - Oh... Ouch. - You okay? 84 00:04:43,436 --> 00:04:46,136 God! Okay. You're right. 85 00:04:46,138 --> 00:04:47,505 It's over. 86 00:04:49,275 --> 00:04:51,175 - Yeah, I know. - Well, you're it. 87 00:04:51,177 --> 00:04:53,343 All right. It's good to see you. Good to see you, pal. 88 00:04:53,345 --> 00:04:55,044 - Good to see you. - Have you lost weight? 89 00:04:55,046 --> 00:04:57,013 Yeah, a little bit. Hey, listen, this is serious. 90 00:04:57,015 --> 00:04:59,549 Um... Jerry's quitting. 91 00:04:59,551 --> 00:05:01,184 What? Bullshit! 92 00:05:01,186 --> 00:05:03,286 I swear to God. End of this season, he's retiring. 93 00:05:03,288 --> 00:05:07,556 Well, okay. But I am in the middle of an interview. So can I... 94 00:05:07,558 --> 00:05:09,957 - Wall Street Journal, that's so cool! - Oh, thank you. 95 00:05:09,959 --> 00:05:13,093 No, thank you, by the way, 'cause this was the distraction I needed. 96 00:05:13,095 --> 00:05:14,328 You get Bob talking about himself, 97 00:05:14,330 --> 00:05:16,530 it is just a feedback loop. Non-stop. 98 00:05:16,532 --> 00:05:18,232 - Can we talk about this outside, please? - Yeah. 99 00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:20,934 Can we talk outside? I'll be right back. I promise. 100 00:05:20,936 --> 00:05:23,269 There's three days left in May. That gives us 63 hours 101 00:05:23,271 --> 00:05:25,205 to round up the guys, and get him. 102 00:05:25,207 --> 00:05:27,207 Great. We can talk about this over dinner. 103 00:05:27,209 --> 00:05:28,575 What? No, no, no. We have to go now! 104 00:05:28,577 --> 00:05:31,310 Don't you have bathrooms to clean or something? 105 00:05:31,312 --> 00:05:32,978 - Technically, yes, I do. - All right, you know what? 106 00:05:32,980 --> 00:05:35,981 Take this ridiculous thing off and get to it 107 00:05:35,983 --> 00:05:37,649 We'll talk about this later. 108 00:05:37,651 --> 00:05:40,251 - I'll resign, Bob. - You don't have to. You're fired. 109 00:05:40,253 --> 00:05:42,553 Good. 'Cause the benefits here suck! 110 00:05:42,555 --> 00:05:43,788 No, they don't. 111 00:05:43,790 --> 00:05:45,958 That's true. Benefits are really good. 112 00:05:48,093 --> 00:05:50,860 Oh, hey, sorry about that. Where were we? 113 00:05:50,862 --> 00:05:52,862 - Uh... Diabetes. Yes. - Explain. 114 00:05:52,864 --> 00:05:56,600 Well, I'm not a doctor, but there are two types. 115 00:05:56,602 --> 00:05:59,168 Type one is called "Type One." 116 00:05:59,170 --> 00:06:01,670 And Type Two is more of an adult onset. 117 00:06:01,672 --> 00:06:03,174 No. Him. 118 00:06:04,575 --> 00:06:06,908 - What are you doing? - Hoagie, what do you want? 119 00:06:06,910 --> 00:06:08,376 You tagged me. I'm it, okay? 120 00:06:08,378 --> 00:06:10,011 You're sitting there like I didn't just tell you 121 00:06:10,013 --> 00:06:12,981 we gotta deal with this right now. 122 00:06:12,983 --> 00:06:14,948 Because we got a real shot at Jerry this year. 123 00:06:14,950 --> 00:06:16,149 You say that every year. 124 00:06:16,151 --> 00:06:17,351 Yeah, but this year's different. 125 00:06:17,353 --> 00:06:18,752 You say that every year. 126 00:06:18,754 --> 00:06:20,721 - But this year's really different. - You said that last year. 127 00:06:20,723 --> 00:06:21,989 I know, you're right. 128 00:06:21,991 --> 00:06:23,657 But this year's actually different. 129 00:06:23,659 --> 00:06:25,659 Because 130 00:06:25,661 --> 00:06:28,930 we know exactly where he's going to be and when. 131 00:06:31,832 --> 00:06:35,668 "The wedding celebration of Susan and Jerry. Saturday, May 31st." 132 00:06:35,670 --> 00:06:38,470 He's a sitting duck! 133 00:06:38,472 --> 00:06:41,275 We gotta join forces. We get Jerry now, 134 00:06:42,409 --> 00:06:43,410 or we die. 135 00:06:44,210 --> 00:06:45,242 What? 136 00:06:45,244 --> 00:06:47,079 Eventually. You know what I mean. 137 00:06:48,981 --> 00:06:51,315 Come on, Bob. 138 00:06:51,317 --> 00:06:53,117 You gonna grow old, or you gonna keep playing? 139 00:06:59,557 --> 00:07:00,956 Keep playing. 140 00:07:00,958 --> 00:07:03,058 That is the right answer. 141 00:07:03,060 --> 00:07:05,127 - Nice to meet you. - I'm sorry, I have to go. 142 00:07:05,129 --> 00:07:07,396 No. 143 00:07:07,398 --> 00:07:09,096 Hold on. Hold on. 144 00:07:09,099 --> 00:07:10,699 I can't believe he's getting married, and he didn't even tell us. 145 00:07:10,701 --> 00:07:12,500 I know, I was mad at first, too, and then hurt. 146 00:07:12,502 --> 00:07:15,703 But, you know, he just realized he'd be a sitting target. 147 00:07:15,705 --> 00:07:17,238 That's insane, even for him. 148 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:19,407 Will one of you please tell me what's going on here? 149 00:07:19,409 --> 00:07:22,342 - Are we off the record? - No, definitely not. 150 00:07:22,344 --> 00:07:24,444 Awesome. Okay. Our group of friends has been playing 151 00:07:24,446 --> 00:07:26,613 the same game of tag for 30 years. 152 00:07:26,615 --> 00:07:30,849 - What? - For the entire month of May, every year, we play tag. 153 00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:32,685 Just like when we were kids. 154 00:07:32,687 --> 00:07:34,553 But we're not on a playground, and we all live in different cities. 155 00:07:34,555 --> 00:07:36,722 So, well, you don't ever know when someone's gonna pop up. 156 00:07:36,724 --> 00:07:39,123 You could be shopping at the mall, then your buddy jumps out of the trunk 157 00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:41,192 and, boom, tags you. You're it. 158 00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:42,460 Here's the craziest part. 159 00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:45,095 Our buddy, Jerry, never been tagged. 160 00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:46,364 What do you mean he's never been tagged? 161 00:07:46,366 --> 00:07:48,498 You never put your hand on his body? 162 00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:50,767 Not during the month of May. For like 30 years. 163 00:07:50,769 --> 00:07:54,271 Why don't you just go over to his house, and tag him? 164 00:07:54,273 --> 00:07:55,971 - It's not that easy. - Why not? 165 00:07:55,973 --> 00:07:59,109 Because... 166 00:07:59,111 --> 00:08:04,079 Well, for starters, because he is so freaking fast. 167 00:08:04,081 --> 00:08:06,348 You just can't catch him. 168 00:08:06,350 --> 00:08:08,483 Yeah, and if you do manage to catch him, 169 00:08:08,485 --> 00:08:12,554 then he goes feral and turns into some kind of crazy wild animal. 170 00:08:16,459 --> 00:08:19,528 And if you manage to trap the wild animal, 171 00:08:21,096 --> 00:08:22,962 he still finds a way. 172 00:08:24,999 --> 00:08:26,332 What just happened there? 173 00:08:26,334 --> 00:08:29,535 To this day, I have no idea. No idea. 174 00:08:29,537 --> 00:08:31,504 He's the best that ever played. Yeah. 175 00:08:31,506 --> 00:08:32,772 Yeah. 176 00:08:32,774 --> 00:08:35,207 And now he wants to retire with a perfect record, 177 00:08:35,209 --> 00:08:37,809 make us all look like fools. 178 00:08:37,811 --> 00:08:40,980 - Fools! - He gets very excited. 179 00:08:42,482 --> 00:08:44,949 There he is. 180 00:08:44,951 --> 00:08:47,551 - Wait, you're not leaving. - Look, Miss Crosby, I apologize. 181 00:08:47,553 --> 00:08:49,453 I will have someone from my office reach out to you. 182 00:08:49,455 --> 00:08:51,589 We will reschedule this as soon as I'm back in town. 183 00:08:51,591 --> 00:08:53,323 Nope. 184 00:08:53,325 --> 00:08:55,458 - Nope? - No. Change of plan. 185 00:08:55,460 --> 00:08:58,127 I'm coming with you. This is a story. 186 00:08:58,129 --> 00:09:01,330 - What? No. - Yes. This is the coolest game ever. 187 00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:02,998 I don't think that's gonna be her angle. 188 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,600 I don't know what my angle is, 189 00:09:04,602 --> 00:09:07,268 but I do find it very interesting that we live in a world 190 00:09:07,270 --> 00:09:09,104 where grown men take an entire month 191 00:09:09,106 --> 00:09:11,272 out of every year to play a child's game. 192 00:09:11,274 --> 00:09:14,675 It's very interesting. You're right. Let's go. 193 00:09:14,677 --> 00:09:16,310 I don't think she means interesting in a good way. 194 00:09:16,312 --> 00:09:18,447 - Get in, Bob. - Fine! Fuck it, I'm going. 195 00:09:41,701 --> 00:09:44,136 All right, it's all ready for you, Dad. 196 00:09:46,238 --> 00:09:50,441 Hey! Thank you. Thank you. 197 00:09:50,443 --> 00:09:54,111 I'll be honest with you. Ever since my wife died, 198 00:09:54,113 --> 00:09:56,448 you've really been the rock holding me down. 199 00:10:01,553 --> 00:10:03,018 So, thank you. 200 00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:05,654 Well, I appreciate that... 201 00:10:05,656 --> 00:10:07,558 But your wife is not dead. 202 00:10:08,926 --> 00:10:10,694 She's dead to me. 203 00:10:11,327 --> 00:10:12,993 What? 204 00:10:12,995 --> 00:10:15,162 Yeah. 205 00:10:15,164 --> 00:10:16,630 - That's right. - That's right. 206 00:10:16,632 --> 00:10:19,266 Listen to me. 207 00:10:19,268 --> 00:10:22,736 "To live in the past is to die in the present." 208 00:10:22,738 --> 00:10:24,070 Now, who said that? 209 00:10:24,072 --> 00:10:26,639 - You did. - Bill Belichick said that! 210 00:10:26,641 --> 00:10:28,173 God love him. Yes, sir. 211 00:10:28,175 --> 00:10:29,676 All right, I'm gonna get us more weed. 212 00:10:29,678 --> 00:10:30,976 God bless you, son. 213 00:10:32,246 --> 00:10:34,115 Damn, that was fast! 214 00:10:39,285 --> 00:10:40,752 - Hey! - Hey, Anna. 215 00:10:40,754 --> 00:10:42,955 - Hey, Chilli. How are you? - Good, nice to see you. 216 00:10:42,957 --> 00:10:44,255 What are you doing here? 217 00:10:44,257 --> 00:10:47,658 I was... Um... Was walking by 218 00:10:47,660 --> 00:10:50,627 and thought I'd pop in and say hi to you and Roger. 219 00:10:50,629 --> 00:10:53,063 Yeah, we're doing great. Where's Hoagie? 220 00:10:53,065 --> 00:10:55,499 Oh, um... He's um... You know... 221 00:10:55,501 --> 00:10:59,203 - Oh, shit! - Hogan's in the library. 222 00:11:00,238 --> 00:11:02,273 Dad, what month is it? 223 00:11:03,407 --> 00:11:05,273 May. 224 00:11:05,275 --> 00:11:07,375 Mmm-mmm. You're not getting by me. 225 00:11:10,380 --> 00:11:11,779 Anna, are you okay? 226 00:11:11,781 --> 00:11:14,014 He's loose! He's loose! 227 00:11:14,016 --> 00:11:16,552 Fuck it. Hogan, honey, he's coming. 228 00:11:17,653 --> 00:11:20,256 He's heading down the east stairwell. 229 00:11:26,996 --> 00:11:28,996 - Hey. Hogan! - Hey, Chilli! 230 00:11:28,998 --> 00:11:31,229 I haven't seen you in a while, man. How's everything? 231 00:11:31,231 --> 00:11:32,865 Pretty good. Yeah, what about you? 232 00:11:32,867 --> 00:11:34,967 - Everything's good, man. Yeah, work. - You sure? 233 00:11:34,969 --> 00:11:37,003 I mean, I'm going through that divorce, but everything's fine. It's fine. 234 00:11:37,005 --> 00:11:39,069 Hey, also, side note. Stop bringing your wife into this, man. 235 00:11:39,071 --> 00:11:41,606 That's bullshit. She's way too intense for the game. 236 00:11:41,608 --> 00:11:43,608 You're just jealous 'cause she's such a badass. 237 00:11:43,610 --> 00:11:46,043 She's my secret weapon. Kind of worked 'cause you're trapped. 238 00:11:46,045 --> 00:11:47,578 - Am I trapped? - Yeah. 239 00:11:47,580 --> 00:11:49,180 I am? 240 00:11:50,883 --> 00:11:53,082 Damn you, Chilli! 241 00:11:58,790 --> 00:12:00,890 No! 242 00:12:00,892 --> 00:12:03,060 Jesus, Chilli! That's trash! 243 00:12:16,706 --> 00:12:18,138 Fuck me! 244 00:12:18,140 --> 00:12:19,642 Hey, Martin! 245 00:12:20,843 --> 00:12:22,377 Hi. Sorry. 246 00:12:37,758 --> 00:12:39,791 Excuse me, Mrs. Martin, coming through. Coming through. 247 00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:41,528 Sorry, sorry, sorry. 248 00:12:42,662 --> 00:12:45,599 Oh, my God! I'm so sorry. So sorry. 249 00:12:46,532 --> 00:12:47,700 Wow. Okay. 250 00:12:49,702 --> 00:12:52,136 Get him, Andy! 251 00:13:04,749 --> 00:13:06,283 Chilli, Chilli, Chilli... 252 00:13:08,218 --> 00:13:09,851 Chilli! No, no, no! 253 00:13:09,853 --> 00:13:11,753 No! No! 254 00:13:24,633 --> 00:13:26,332 Oh, fuck! 255 00:13:26,334 --> 00:13:28,534 You okay, buddy? 256 00:13:28,536 --> 00:13:32,137 Oh, just great. Great. 257 00:13:32,139 --> 00:13:34,706 You ain't getting me today, man. I'm not losing. 258 00:13:34,708 --> 00:13:37,678 - There's only one problem, Chilli. - Oh, yeah? What's that? 259 00:13:38,612 --> 00:13:40,946 I'm not it. 260 00:13:40,948 --> 00:13:43,814 - The fuck you mean you're not it? - I am, motherfucker! 261 00:13:47,420 --> 00:13:50,186 - It! Come on, get up. - Goddamn! 262 00:13:50,188 --> 00:13:52,123 - You all right? - Yeah, I'm fine. 263 00:13:52,125 --> 00:13:54,958 - You took a pretty big hit there. My God. - Yeah, I thought I got away. 264 00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:57,093 - Set him up. Knock him down. - Oh, my God! 265 00:13:57,095 --> 00:13:59,062 - Good idea. - All right, fair and square. I'm it, right? 266 00:13:59,064 --> 00:14:01,031 - Yes. - And now you're it. 267 00:14:01,033 --> 00:14:02,464 - Nope. - Yeah. 268 00:14:02,466 --> 00:14:04,700 Nope. I'm not taking it. 269 00:14:04,702 --> 00:14:06,068 No, I'm not. No! 270 00:14:06,070 --> 00:14:07,235 - No. - We're not... 271 00:14:07,237 --> 00:14:08,605 Guys, we're too old... 272 00:14:11,075 --> 00:14:12,674 No, don't start hitting. 273 00:14:12,676 --> 00:14:14,678 No, no, you're it. I don't know who... 274 00:14:15,344 --> 00:14:16,644 You're it. 275 00:14:16,646 --> 00:14:18,245 - Guys, guys, guys! - This is ridiculous. 276 00:14:18,247 --> 00:14:21,548 Son of a bitch! You sack punched me! 277 00:14:21,550 --> 00:14:23,350 Yeah, you went crazy, and now you're it. 278 00:14:23,352 --> 00:14:24,584 - Sorry. - Okay, I'm it. 279 00:14:24,586 --> 00:14:26,619 - Truce, truce, truce. - Deal. 280 00:14:26,621 --> 00:14:28,623 This isn't about us anyway. 281 00:14:30,458 --> 00:14:32,158 This is the year we get Jerry. 282 00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:34,126 - No, we're not gonna get Jerry. - No, That's what you think. 283 00:14:34,128 --> 00:14:37,264 I said the same thing. We got a plan, all right? 284 00:14:38,465 --> 00:14:39,864 Guys! Guys, let's go. 285 00:14:39,866 --> 00:14:42,434 She's so intense, man. She takes it too far. 286 00:14:42,436 --> 00:14:44,234 You know what? If it wasn't for me, 287 00:14:44,236 --> 00:14:46,171 you guys would be day drunk playing mini-golf with 12-year-olds. 288 00:14:46,173 --> 00:14:48,539 Let's go. I know where Sable is. Get in the car, ladies. 289 00:14:48,541 --> 00:14:50,908 Yeah, we're going right to the airport, so grab a bag, grab a... 290 00:14:50,910 --> 00:14:52,843 - A toothbrush or whatever. - I'm good. Let's go. 291 00:14:52,845 --> 00:14:54,444 - Really? - Wow! 292 00:14:54,446 --> 00:14:55,845 - That's gross. - He's gung-ho. That's good. 293 00:14:55,847 --> 00:14:57,880 Hey, Rebecca, we're gonna go get Sable now. 294 00:14:57,882 --> 00:14:59,350 Who is Sable? 295 00:15:02,020 --> 00:15:04,486 I know you think she's not cheating on me. 296 00:15:04,488 --> 00:15:06,988 But what about the possibility of 297 00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:09,524 her knowing that I'm following her to Pilates class, 298 00:15:09,526 --> 00:15:11,492 and on the days when it's not Pilates class 299 00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:15,298 that's when she has all the free time to ride random dick. 300 00:15:16,933 --> 00:15:18,899 Okay, riding dicks. 301 00:15:18,901 --> 00:15:22,569 Kevin, you're really focused on other dicks. 302 00:15:22,571 --> 00:15:24,237 But what about yours? 303 00:15:24,239 --> 00:15:25,872 - What about you? - If you don't focus on the other dicks, 304 00:15:25,874 --> 00:15:28,675 those dicks will plug up the places you wanna go. 305 00:15:28,677 --> 00:15:33,378 What about mentally going into each of those holes 306 00:15:33,380 --> 00:15:35,781 and unplugging every one of those dicks. 307 00:15:35,783 --> 00:15:39,017 Pulling out, pulling out, pulling out, pulling out. 308 00:15:39,019 --> 00:15:42,020 And then you have a clear mind. Dickless. 309 00:15:42,022 --> 00:15:46,289 Well, I'm paranoid that my original paranoia might turn on my paranoia. 310 00:15:46,291 --> 00:15:49,894 It sounds like there are some fundamental trust issues. 311 00:15:49,896 --> 00:15:50,994 You can't trust anybody. 312 00:15:50,996 --> 00:15:52,562 I don't think anyone's out to get you. 313 00:15:52,564 --> 00:15:54,363 I don't think anyone is following you. 314 00:15:54,365 --> 00:15:56,565 I can't take it anymore. 315 00:15:56,567 --> 00:15:58,567 I can't take it. I can't listen to this. 316 00:15:58,569 --> 00:16:00,438 Are you shushing me? 317 00:16:01,739 --> 00:16:03,373 Stop! 318 00:16:04,274 --> 00:16:05,810 What the fuck? 319 00:16:06,944 --> 00:16:08,576 Oh, wow! 320 00:16:08,578 --> 00:16:10,311 - Doc! - You're there. 321 00:16:10,313 --> 00:16:12,447 Hi, Hogan. Nice to meet you. 322 00:16:12,449 --> 00:16:13,882 Bob Callahan. How do you do? 323 00:16:13,884 --> 00:16:15,449 - Sorry, this is a terrible idea. - Who are you? 324 00:16:15,451 --> 00:16:17,651 We're friends of Sable's. 325 00:16:17,653 --> 00:16:19,686 We thought it'd be really funny to hide in there 326 00:16:19,688 --> 00:16:22,256 but then we overheard way too much. 327 00:16:22,258 --> 00:16:24,490 Yeah, buddy, you're clearly going through a lot of shit. 328 00:16:24,492 --> 00:16:25,926 All right, get here, man. 329 00:16:25,928 --> 00:16:28,694 And, also, you're it. 330 00:16:28,696 --> 00:16:31,098 I don't care. I miss you. How are you, buddy? 331 00:16:31,100 --> 00:16:32,698 - I'm good. - Yup. 332 00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:34,267 - Now you're it. - I know, I know, I'm it. 333 00:16:34,269 --> 00:16:36,701 Anyway, yeah, we came to get you, so, come on. 334 00:16:36,703 --> 00:16:38,503 - Sable. - Come on. 335 00:16:38,505 --> 00:16:40,939 I got 40 minutes left in the session. 336 00:16:40,941 --> 00:16:43,674 - So what? This is important. - Yeah. 337 00:16:43,676 --> 00:16:46,412 Pack your bags. We're goin' home. 338 00:16:48,514 --> 00:16:49,747 I don't have my bags here. 339 00:16:49,749 --> 00:16:50,915 - Yeah, we know. - Obviously. 340 00:16:50,917 --> 00:16:52,582 - For fuck's sake. - I know that... 341 00:16:52,584 --> 00:16:54,084 We'll just go by your house and get your stuff. 342 00:16:54,086 --> 00:16:55,618 You should've just went to my house in the first place 343 00:16:55,620 --> 00:16:57,453 if we were gonna go to my house anyway. 344 00:16:57,455 --> 00:16:58,888 - This seemed like a better idea. - It was a whole bit! Let's go. 345 00:16:58,890 --> 00:17:00,355 Yeah, come on, we'll figure it out. 346 00:17:00,357 --> 00:17:02,258 Okay, you'll still owe me for this hour. 347 00:17:02,260 --> 00:17:05,020 - Thanks, Doctor. - You guys aren't taking my mental health seriously. 348 00:17:28,416 --> 00:17:30,950 Look at those little assholes. 349 00:17:30,952 --> 00:17:33,452 - Calm down. - It's awful to be back. 350 00:17:33,454 --> 00:17:35,022 It's gonna be fun. 351 00:17:57,142 --> 00:17:59,010 Ah! It still smells the same. 352 00:18:01,312 --> 00:18:03,147 Uh... Here we go. 353 00:18:08,619 --> 00:18:10,554 All right! 354 00:18:19,128 --> 00:18:20,696 Oh! 355 00:18:23,665 --> 00:18:26,199 Okay, yeah. 356 00:18:26,201 --> 00:18:32,404 - Oh, yeah, it's still there. - Guys, we're back in the war room. 357 00:18:32,406 --> 00:18:35,474 - You know what that means. - No, I don't know what that means. 358 00:18:35,476 --> 00:18:38,143 It means we're going to war, Sable. Now, just to be clear, 359 00:18:38,145 --> 00:18:41,846 we're not gonna tag Jerry at the actual wedding ceremony 360 00:18:41,848 --> 00:18:44,316 because, frankly, that would make us giant assholes. 361 00:18:44,318 --> 00:18:46,083 I'm sorry. I thought that was the whole point of this. 362 00:18:46,085 --> 00:18:48,886 I took two weeks unpaid vacation for that exact reason. 363 00:18:48,888 --> 00:18:50,587 - Two weeks? - Yeah. 364 00:18:50,589 --> 00:18:52,455 I'm going zip-lining after this. 365 00:18:52,457 --> 00:18:55,859 Okay. There's gonna be plenty of time to get him before the ceremony. 366 00:18:55,861 --> 00:18:57,827 There's the rehearsal dinner. 367 00:18:57,829 --> 00:19:00,629 There's a luncheon, photo shoot. Just don't worry. We're gonna get him. 368 00:19:00,631 --> 00:19:03,933 Very official plan. Who wants to smoke some weed with me? Sable! 369 00:19:03,935 --> 00:19:05,301 I'll take a toke. 370 00:19:05,303 --> 00:19:07,069 What? 371 00:19:07,071 --> 00:19:11,439 Yeah, I've been, you know, experimenting with pot recently. 372 00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:13,241 Mostly medicinal, but hey. 373 00:19:13,243 --> 00:19:18,313 I've wanted to get high with you my entire life, Hogan. 374 00:19:18,315 --> 00:19:19,913 - Honestly. - Let's do it. 375 00:19:19,915 --> 00:19:21,717 - This is the best gift of all time. - Okay. 376 00:19:23,018 --> 00:19:25,653 This is exactly how I imagined it, by the way. 377 00:19:28,690 --> 00:19:30,089 Hoagie's mom. 378 00:19:30,091 --> 00:19:33,895 I've got pizza rolls for my pizza roll boys. 379 00:19:34,429 --> 00:19:35,829 Pizza rolls. 380 00:19:38,433 --> 00:19:40,532 Is that marijuana I smell? 381 00:19:43,837 --> 00:19:45,502 No. What? 382 00:19:45,504 --> 00:19:47,004 It's my pot. I'm really sorry. 383 00:19:47,006 --> 00:19:48,739 I was smoking pot. It's an old habit. 384 00:19:48,741 --> 00:19:52,144 Oh, so it's your weedie. 385 00:19:53,578 --> 00:19:55,645 I think I'm getting a contact high. 386 00:19:55,647 --> 00:19:57,880 - Okay. - Hits me deep. 387 00:19:57,882 --> 00:19:59,514 Below the belt, you know. 388 00:19:59,516 --> 00:20:00,750 I've got a belt upstairs. 389 00:20:00,752 --> 00:20:03,152 I use it on naughty little boys. 390 00:20:05,457 --> 00:20:07,589 What the fuck is going on? 391 00:20:07,591 --> 00:20:09,523 I hope you don't hurt those boys. 392 00:20:09,525 --> 00:20:10,727 I don't mean to. 393 00:20:11,962 --> 00:20:13,561 It was really nice speaking with you. 394 00:20:13,563 --> 00:20:15,830 - Thank you for the pizza rolls. - Mom... 395 00:20:15,832 --> 00:20:18,733 Stop flirting with Chilli. 396 00:20:18,735 --> 00:20:21,634 Linda, have you seen Jerry lately? 397 00:20:21,636 --> 00:20:23,570 I mean, do you still play tennis with his mom? 398 00:20:23,572 --> 00:20:25,872 Because we need to find him before the wedding and we've got no clues. 399 00:20:25,874 --> 00:20:27,841 I don't even talk to her. I never see her at the club. 400 00:20:27,843 --> 00:20:31,610 But I'm thrilled for Jerry. Susan is such a nice girl. 401 00:20:31,612 --> 00:20:34,046 - We just need the information. - We need to find him. Yeah. 402 00:20:34,048 --> 00:20:36,181 Have you taken the guys over to the Sandpiper? 403 00:20:36,183 --> 00:20:41,353 Lou does nothing but talk about you and the old days and Jerry. 404 00:20:41,355 --> 00:20:43,087 You know, I think he's lonely. 405 00:20:43,089 --> 00:20:45,555 Okay, that's not helpful. But it... 406 00:20:45,557 --> 00:20:46,924 Oh, my God! 407 00:20:46,926 --> 00:20:48,092 Lou knows everything going on in this town. 408 00:20:48,094 --> 00:20:50,228 Guys, we're going to the Sandpiper. 409 00:20:50,230 --> 00:20:53,430 I don't wanna go to the Sandpiper. I'm having a great time here. 410 00:20:53,432 --> 00:20:55,765 I miss this basement. We don't have any more beer. 411 00:20:55,767 --> 00:20:56,935 Let's go to Sandpiper. 412 00:21:09,546 --> 00:21:11,212 Lou! 413 00:21:11,214 --> 00:21:14,215 Gentlemen! And ladies. 414 00:21:14,217 --> 00:21:17,117 How are you guys? Hey, we have new summer stouts on draft. 415 00:21:17,119 --> 00:21:20,054 Lou, we don't give a shit about summer stouts. We're just looking for Jerry. 416 00:21:20,056 --> 00:21:22,990 Ooh! I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, Anna, 417 00:21:22,992 --> 00:21:25,125 but you are technically still banned from here. 418 00:21:25,127 --> 00:21:28,529 - What? Still? - What? It was dollar margarita night, Lou. 419 00:21:28,531 --> 00:21:29,796 Hey, I don't make the rules. 420 00:21:29,798 --> 00:21:30,963 Fuck you, Lou. 421 00:21:30,965 --> 00:21:32,298 You know something about Jerry, 422 00:21:32,300 --> 00:21:35,368 I can see it in your eyes, you rat fuck. 423 00:21:35,370 --> 00:21:36,868 I don't know where Jerry is. 424 00:21:36,870 --> 00:21:38,470 Fuck you. Tell us. 425 00:21:38,472 --> 00:21:42,309 I'm sorry, Lou. I'm so sorry. 426 00:21:43,377 --> 00:21:44,675 How are you? How's your mom? 427 00:21:44,677 --> 00:21:45,976 - Fantastic. - Oh, that's good. 428 00:21:45,978 --> 00:21:47,912 - Fit as a fiddle. - Tell her I said hi. 429 00:21:47,914 --> 00:21:49,612 - I will, for sure. - And fuck you. I don't wanna be in this bar anyway. 430 00:21:49,614 --> 00:21:51,115 - Okay, okay. - We're gonna wait outside. 431 00:21:51,117 --> 00:21:53,551 Look forward to catching up with y'all. 432 00:21:53,553 --> 00:21:56,586 Listen, I'll tell you everything you need to know about Jerry 433 00:21:56,588 --> 00:22:01,357 if you tag me just one time. It is all I ask. I will spill. 434 00:22:01,359 --> 00:22:03,259 Why can't I tag ya? 435 00:22:03,261 --> 00:22:05,961 Because I'm not officially in the game. 436 00:22:05,963 --> 00:22:07,396 What's the good word, Lou? 437 00:22:07,398 --> 00:22:09,697 We don't stop playing 'cause we grow old, 438 00:22:09,699 --> 00:22:11,699 we grow old because we stop playing. 439 00:22:11,701 --> 00:22:13,402 You are not part of this game. 440 00:22:13,404 --> 00:22:14,602 Benjamin Franklin. 441 00:22:14,604 --> 00:22:16,437 - Lou. - Yeah? 442 00:22:16,439 --> 00:22:17,939 Where's Jerry? 443 00:22:17,941 --> 00:22:19,108 I'm afraid I can't help you out with that, boys. 444 00:22:19,110 --> 00:22:21,074 - Really? - Yeah, you see, 445 00:22:21,076 --> 00:22:22,742 Jerry and I have struck a little deal. 446 00:22:22,744 --> 00:22:24,177 I say nothing about his whereabouts, 447 00:22:24,179 --> 00:22:26,146 and then I get to play tag next year. 448 00:22:26,148 --> 00:22:27,980 - Jerry made that deal with you? - Oh, yeah. 449 00:22:27,982 --> 00:22:30,683 And I am unbreakable, boys. 450 00:22:30,685 --> 00:22:32,918 Cannot penetrate this Iron Curtain. 451 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:35,588 The vault is closed. 452 00:22:35,590 --> 00:22:36,955 Well, Lou, that is a real shame 453 00:22:36,957 --> 00:22:38,790 because I was gonna introduce you to Rebecca, 454 00:22:38,792 --> 00:22:42,560 who is writing an article about tag for The Wall Street Journal. 455 00:22:42,562 --> 00:22:43,795 - How cool is that? - So cool. 456 00:22:43,797 --> 00:22:45,230 Isn't that exciting? 457 00:22:45,232 --> 00:22:47,332 Is there any way that Lou could be in your article? 458 00:22:47,334 --> 00:22:48,566 Oh, yeah. 459 00:22:48,568 --> 00:22:50,300 Right? It's an interesting angle, right? 460 00:22:50,302 --> 00:22:52,169 Probably has to be a story for that to happen, right? 461 00:22:52,171 --> 00:22:53,669 What do you mean there has to be a story? 462 00:22:53,671 --> 00:22:56,639 I mean, no Jerry, no story. 463 00:22:56,641 --> 00:22:58,207 You need Jerry for the story? 464 00:22:58,209 --> 00:22:59,976 Could you imagine that thing printed out here, framed? 465 00:22:59,978 --> 00:23:01,511 - Hanging on the wall? With this guy? - Yeah. 466 00:23:01,513 --> 00:23:03,346 Which will get published everywhere. Everyone will see. 467 00:23:03,348 --> 00:23:04,946 - Nationally. - Don't you wanna be in the article? 468 00:23:04,948 --> 00:23:07,416 Yeah, dude. I would love to be in an article. 469 00:23:07,418 --> 00:23:09,351 Well, we're not gonna break Fort Knox here. 470 00:23:09,353 --> 00:23:10,852 Fuck, man. All right. 471 00:23:10,854 --> 00:23:12,653 - I was really excited about that, too. - Good to see you, buddy. 472 00:23:12,655 --> 00:23:14,322 Look, look, look. 473 00:23:16,859 --> 00:23:18,627 My mom talked to his mom 474 00:23:18,629 --> 00:23:21,694 and she said that the rehearsal is at the Deer Creek Country Club. 475 00:23:21,696 --> 00:23:23,197 - Deer Creek. - There it is. 476 00:23:23,199 --> 00:23:25,165 Anyways, the name is Louis Seibert. That's S-E-I... 477 00:23:25,167 --> 00:23:27,934 - I'll remember that. Thank you. - She's got great memory. 478 00:23:27,936 --> 00:23:29,369 Big Lou, thank you, buddy. 479 00:23:29,371 --> 00:23:31,251 - Yeah, you bet. - Thank you, thank you. 480 00:23:32,740 --> 00:23:34,239 Oh, hello, Miss Rollins? 481 00:23:34,241 --> 00:23:36,708 This is Margaret from the Deer Creek Country Club. 482 00:23:36,710 --> 00:23:38,343 I'm just calling to let you know, 483 00:23:38,345 --> 00:23:40,245 we won't be able to refund your deposit 484 00:23:40,247 --> 00:23:42,447 since you canceled the rehearsal on such short notice. 485 00:23:42,449 --> 00:23:44,516 - What? Oh, my God. - I think you have a mistake here. 486 00:23:44,518 --> 00:23:46,751 We didn't cancel the reception. 487 00:23:46,753 --> 00:23:48,952 I'm afraid we have unfortunately booked 488 00:23:48,954 --> 00:23:51,021 something else in that time slot now. 489 00:23:51,023 --> 00:23:53,524 - A quinceanera. - A quinceanera. 490 00:23:53,526 --> 00:23:55,592 - A what? - The fuck's a quinceanera? 491 00:23:55,594 --> 00:23:57,194 A celebration of womanhood. 492 00:23:57,196 --> 00:23:58,928 It's a celebration of womanhood. 493 00:23:58,930 --> 00:24:00,729 - This is bullshit. - Oh, my God! 494 00:24:00,731 --> 00:24:02,133 We're coming to the club right now. 495 00:24:34,262 --> 00:24:36,029 Hello? 496 00:24:38,799 --> 00:24:40,267 Hello? 497 00:24:44,304 --> 00:24:45,439 Hello, boys. 498 00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:48,709 Who is it? 499 00:24:49,342 --> 00:24:51,075 I am. 500 00:24:51,077 --> 00:24:52,844 Callahan approaches from the left. 501 00:24:55,180 --> 00:24:56,982 Engage no contact protocol. 502 00:24:58,917 --> 00:25:01,019 No hand shall touch my body. 503 00:25:06,658 --> 00:25:09,591 Mental note. Bob slapped Hoagie with his hand. 504 00:25:09,593 --> 00:25:11,462 Hoagie is now it. 505 00:25:14,931 --> 00:25:19,200 Chilli. He dives at me in a pussy-like fashion. 506 00:25:19,202 --> 00:25:21,371 Poor planning. Poor execution. 507 00:25:24,806 --> 00:25:26,772 Piece of cake. 508 00:25:26,774 --> 00:25:28,541 I head for the door to escape. 509 00:25:28,543 --> 00:25:30,410 Sable blocks it. 510 00:25:30,412 --> 00:25:31,912 It's showtime. 511 00:25:34,148 --> 00:25:37,318 Hoagie has tagged Sable. He is now fair game. 512 00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:40,987 I speedbag him. 513 00:25:57,001 --> 00:25:58,936 Jerry! You okay? 514 00:26:00,138 --> 00:26:02,173 Oh, I've never been better. 515 00:26:02,907 --> 00:26:04,908 Welcome home, boys! 516 00:26:07,944 --> 00:26:09,244 Hey, who's this with ya? 517 00:26:09,246 --> 00:26:11,913 Oh, this is Rebecca. She's a reporter. 518 00:26:11,915 --> 00:26:13,548 We're gonna be famous. 519 00:26:13,550 --> 00:26:16,016 Did they mention that I haven't been tagged in 30 years 520 00:26:16,018 --> 00:26:17,585 'cause they suck at this game? 521 00:26:17,587 --> 00:26:19,721 - Extensively. - Never been tagged. Just saying. 522 00:26:19,723 --> 00:26:22,189 I can't believe you would rather not invite your closest friends 523 00:26:22,191 --> 00:26:23,956 to your wedding, than risk getting tagged. 524 00:26:23,958 --> 00:26:27,093 Hey, Bob, look, you're here, ain't ya? Right? I knew you'd come. 525 00:26:27,095 --> 00:26:29,095 Cookie, the valet needs the keys. 526 00:26:29,098 --> 00:26:30,563 Hi, baby. Come here, honey. Come here. 527 00:26:30,565 --> 00:26:32,831 We didn't invite you. 528 00:26:32,833 --> 00:26:34,266 - Yeah. Sorry. - Guys. 529 00:26:34,268 --> 00:26:36,902 This is Susan, my soon-to-be-bride. 530 00:26:36,904 --> 00:26:39,004 - Hi. Nice to meet you, Susan. - Hey. 531 00:26:39,006 --> 00:26:40,372 - Hi. - She'll explain why. 532 00:26:40,374 --> 00:26:42,708 It's just... I know it sounds really crazy. 533 00:26:42,710 --> 00:26:46,277 Everyone on my mother's side have had May weddings 534 00:26:46,279 --> 00:26:49,180 and I didn't want my wedding ruined over... 535 00:26:49,182 --> 00:26:52,783 I mean, I swear, I don't wanna be that woman 536 00:26:52,785 --> 00:26:57,354 but I do feel like that woman is kind of understandable in this situation. 537 00:26:57,356 --> 00:26:59,322 Don't make excuses, baby. You don't have to. Come on. 538 00:26:59,324 --> 00:27:00,523 Look, I already broke a fucking window. 539 00:27:00,525 --> 00:27:02,259 What are we gonna do here, guys? 540 00:27:03,994 --> 00:27:05,894 - Amendment. - Amendment. 541 00:27:05,896 --> 00:27:09,964 - Amendment. All right. Get in here. - Truce. Truce, bitches. 542 00:27:09,966 --> 00:27:12,967 No tag at the rehearsal. No tag at the luncheon. 543 00:27:12,969 --> 00:27:17,003 No tag at the dinner, and do not even mention tag at the ceremony. 544 00:27:17,005 --> 00:27:19,774 Ceremony. 545 00:27:19,776 --> 00:27:20,874 - We got it. - Thank you. 546 00:27:20,876 --> 00:27:22,242 No way, I'm not signing this. 547 00:27:22,244 --> 00:27:23,778 You're officially re-not invited, how's that? 548 00:27:23,780 --> 00:27:26,279 Okay, then fine. I'll crash your fucking wedding, 549 00:27:26,281 --> 00:27:28,115 and I'll tag you as you try to kiss your bride. 550 00:27:28,117 --> 00:27:29,483 Hey, hey, hey. 551 00:27:29,485 --> 00:27:31,550 Look, Susan. You seem like a lovely person, 552 00:27:31,552 --> 00:27:33,886 and I'm sure this will all be fine. 553 00:27:33,888 --> 00:27:37,090 We just need to formalize it, something we've been doing a long time, and, uh... 554 00:27:37,692 --> 00:27:38,892 Sign it. 555 00:27:40,961 --> 00:27:42,794 What the... 556 00:27:42,796 --> 00:27:44,529 No mention of tag is... 557 00:27:44,531 --> 00:27:46,798 - Ridiculous. - It's unreasonable. 558 00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:48,365 Thank you, guys. 559 00:27:48,367 --> 00:27:49,669 Here. 560 00:27:50,636 --> 00:27:52,638 All right, boys. 561 00:27:55,341 --> 00:27:56,939 - All right. - So good to see you, Bob. 562 00:27:56,941 --> 00:27:58,908 You know what? Don't touch me, when we're on a truce. 563 00:27:58,910 --> 00:28:00,943 - It's very patronizing. - Yeah, it's a little weird for me, too. 564 00:28:00,945 --> 00:28:03,011 Well, it was really nice meeting everyone 565 00:28:03,013 --> 00:28:06,849 and I look forward to getting to know you guys better this weekend. 566 00:28:06,851 --> 00:28:09,985 I don't know, I've just dreamt about this day my whole life, so... 567 00:28:09,987 --> 00:28:12,487 - Congrats, Susan. We're happy for ya. - It's gonna be great. 568 00:28:12,489 --> 00:28:14,756 - Thank you. - It's really good to see you, boys. 569 00:28:14,758 --> 00:28:16,457 Cheers. 570 00:28:17,861 --> 00:28:19,328 Six tequilas, please. 571 00:28:22,698 --> 00:28:24,332 - To Jerry. - Wait. 572 00:28:27,135 --> 00:28:30,002 So, boys, how did it go? 573 00:28:30,004 --> 00:28:31,236 - Not good. - So bad. 574 00:28:31,238 --> 00:28:32,772 So, so bad. 575 00:28:32,774 --> 00:28:35,274 Did you guys just sign away your chance to tag him? 576 00:28:35,276 --> 00:28:40,279 Yeah, but we're still okay, because non-wedding times are fair game. 577 00:28:40,281 --> 00:28:41,647 We just gotta find the right window. 578 00:28:41,649 --> 00:28:43,715 - What happened? - He kicked our ass. 579 00:28:43,717 --> 00:28:45,349 - Well, technically, he punched my ass. - Punched your ass. 580 00:28:45,351 --> 00:28:46,851 - Repeatedly. - Hard. 581 00:28:46,853 --> 00:28:48,952 Well, according to the bylaws, that is highly illegal. 582 00:28:48,954 --> 00:28:50,888 Except he didn't hit my asshole 583 00:28:50,890 --> 00:28:52,355 so it's legal. 584 00:28:52,357 --> 00:28:54,357 Okay, what are you talking about? 585 00:28:54,359 --> 00:28:55,525 Here. 586 00:28:55,527 --> 00:28:57,127 Page... 587 00:28:57,129 --> 00:28:59,328 Yes! Right there. 588 00:28:59,330 --> 00:29:01,230 No asshole punching. 589 00:29:01,232 --> 00:29:06,368 Why would you play a game where you're constantly punched in the ass? 590 00:29:06,370 --> 00:29:08,671 - Fair question, Rebecca. - Beep. I'll take this. 591 00:29:08,673 --> 00:29:12,440 Tag is more than a game. It's a way of life. 592 00:29:12,442 --> 00:29:13,675 No, buddy. 593 00:29:13,677 --> 00:29:16,110 That's exactly right. You nailed it. 594 00:29:16,112 --> 00:29:17,978 Facial disgracial. 595 00:29:17,980 --> 00:29:20,114 Okay, Lou, thank you. 596 00:29:20,116 --> 00:29:21,648 We'll take it from here. 597 00:29:21,650 --> 00:29:23,350 But he's exactly right. 598 00:29:23,352 --> 00:29:25,117 It's so much more than a game. 599 00:29:25,119 --> 00:29:27,987 Say I'm LeVar Burton. Say I'm LeVar Burton. 600 00:29:27,989 --> 00:29:30,223 I was there when Sable lost his virginity. 601 00:29:30,225 --> 00:29:32,658 God damn it, Hoagie! I was almost finished! 602 00:29:32,660 --> 00:29:34,260 Get over here! 603 00:29:34,262 --> 00:29:36,583 And Callahan was there when Anna and I had our first child. 604 00:29:37,431 --> 00:29:39,331 Congratulations, buddy. You're it. 605 00:29:39,333 --> 00:29:40,999 Doing great, Anna. 606 00:29:41,001 --> 00:29:43,468 And all the guys were there for me when my father died. 607 00:29:43,470 --> 00:29:47,105 I think your dad would have really wanted you to be... 608 00:29:47,107 --> 00:29:48,572 Dead. 609 00:29:48,574 --> 00:29:50,341 In this moment. 610 00:29:52,345 --> 00:29:55,913 This game, it's given us a reason to be in each other's lives all these years. 611 00:29:55,915 --> 00:29:59,849 The last it from each season will live in shame for one year. 612 00:29:59,851 --> 00:30:01,217 So what happens if you lose? 613 00:30:01,219 --> 00:30:02,685 - You lose. - You're it. 614 00:30:02,687 --> 00:30:04,553 - What does the winner get? - There are no winners. 615 00:30:04,555 --> 00:30:05,487 Just not losers. 616 00:30:05,489 --> 00:30:07,155 Listen, I would love to sit here 617 00:30:07,157 --> 00:30:09,858 and deconstruct the spirit of competition with everyone, 618 00:30:09,860 --> 00:30:11,360 but Jerry's still on the loose 619 00:30:11,362 --> 00:30:12,995 and we got to get him where it hurts. 620 00:30:12,997 --> 00:30:15,162 - Not in the asshole. - Not in the asshole. Obviously. 621 00:30:15,164 --> 00:30:16,764 Oh! Guys, let's go to his house. 622 00:30:16,766 --> 00:30:18,799 He wouldn't be at his house. It's too obvious. 623 00:30:18,801 --> 00:30:21,201 Yeah, it's too obvious, so he's gonna be there. This is Jerry. 624 00:30:21,203 --> 00:30:25,205 Maybe it's so obvious that it's not obvious that he will be there. 625 00:30:25,207 --> 00:30:26,940 - So he's at the house. - He's not gonna be there. 626 00:30:26,942 --> 00:30:30,242 If he's there, then it'll be obvious for him to be there 627 00:30:30,244 --> 00:30:32,378 so he wouldn't be there because he would think 628 00:30:32,380 --> 00:30:34,948 that we would automatically come there, obviously. 629 00:30:34,950 --> 00:30:37,616 - What? - You know what? One way to find out. 630 00:30:37,618 --> 00:30:39,818 - Let's go. - It'll be obvious to... 631 00:30:39,820 --> 00:30:41,321 Come on! 632 00:30:58,604 --> 00:31:00,238 It's locked. 633 00:31:06,844 --> 00:31:08,610 What do you see? 634 00:31:08,612 --> 00:31:10,078 It's nice. 635 00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:12,948 There's lot of attention to detail but not too overdone. 636 00:31:12,950 --> 00:31:15,686 Well, can you just unlock it? 637 00:31:17,420 --> 00:31:18,853 This is breaking and entering. 638 00:31:18,855 --> 00:31:21,357 No, it doesn't count if you know the person. 639 00:31:22,325 --> 00:31:24,658 That is not true. 640 00:31:24,660 --> 00:31:27,696 "Did you guys really think I would be home?" 641 00:31:30,031 --> 00:31:31,464 Feels like a trap. 642 00:31:31,466 --> 00:31:33,099 All right, let's split up, we'll cover more ground. 643 00:31:33,101 --> 00:31:35,601 - No, that's a terrible idea. - He'll never expect it. 644 00:31:35,603 --> 00:31:37,371 Now help me out of the door, please. 645 00:31:40,674 --> 00:31:43,675 Jerry! 646 00:31:43,677 --> 00:31:45,710 He's gotta be here. 647 00:31:47,380 --> 00:31:49,213 Have you ever even been here before? 648 00:31:56,755 --> 00:31:58,321 Ohh! 649 00:31:58,323 --> 00:32:00,824 Deviled eggs. 650 00:32:00,826 --> 00:32:03,327 Delicious. These go fast. 651 00:32:10,333 --> 00:32:12,302 What the fuck? 652 00:32:12,702 --> 00:32:14,237 Oh, man. 653 00:32:15,107 --> 00:32:16,771 Whoa. 654 00:32:16,773 --> 00:32:18,773 Jerry got chloroform? 655 00:32:18,775 --> 00:32:22,743 What the fuck? He has stepped it up. 656 00:32:22,745 --> 00:32:26,947 Aerial maps of the city. Bunch of blueprints. 657 00:32:26,949 --> 00:32:30,149 Five different hats? Wow. 658 00:32:30,151 --> 00:32:32,553 People change. 659 00:32:40,260 --> 00:32:41,762 Did you... 660 00:32:42,496 --> 00:32:43,897 I didn't do anything. 661 00:32:52,872 --> 00:32:56,707 Who is that scampering around my house? 662 00:32:56,709 --> 00:33:00,209 Hello, boys, did you really think I'd go home? 663 00:33:00,211 --> 00:33:01,477 - You idiots. - I knew it. 664 00:33:01,479 --> 00:33:03,813 - It's too obvious. - Yep. 665 00:33:03,815 --> 00:33:05,380 I mean, that's just a lucky guess. 666 00:33:05,382 --> 00:33:06,615 Okay, Jerry, where are you? 667 00:33:06,617 --> 00:33:08,051 You know, seeing you guys tonight 668 00:33:08,053 --> 00:33:10,719 made me wanna take a walk down memory lane. 669 00:33:10,721 --> 00:33:12,120 - Ta-da! - Is that your... 670 00:33:12,122 --> 00:33:13,855 That's my bedroom. You're at my parents' house. 671 00:33:13,857 --> 00:33:15,423 Why are you at my parents' house? 672 00:33:15,425 --> 00:33:16,524 It's a little smaller than I remember. 673 00:33:16,526 --> 00:33:18,126 You broke into my house! 674 00:33:18,128 --> 00:33:19,593 We broke into his house. 675 00:33:19,595 --> 00:33:20,828 Yeah, we broke into your house. 676 00:33:20,830 --> 00:33:22,763 Hey, hey! Look who I found, Hoag. 677 00:33:22,765 --> 00:33:25,231 Hoag! Hoagie, I miss you so much! 678 00:33:25,233 --> 00:33:27,233 What are you doing with Mr. Stubbles? 679 00:33:27,235 --> 00:33:29,436 This little guy got you through a lot of troubles in life, didn't he? 680 00:33:29,438 --> 00:33:30,870 All right, Jerry. 681 00:33:32,606 --> 00:33:34,239 Let's see where this one goes. 682 00:33:34,241 --> 00:33:37,110 Mr. Stubbles has something to say. What was that? 683 00:33:37,112 --> 00:33:39,945 He says that his skin's very dry. It needs to be moisturized. 684 00:33:39,947 --> 00:33:43,383 Jerry, put down Mr. Stubbles. So help me God. 685 00:33:44,484 --> 00:33:46,317 What's happening here? 686 00:33:46,319 --> 00:33:48,251 I think he's about to masturbate in Hoagie's childhood bedroom. 687 00:33:48,253 --> 00:33:50,755 Oh, no. 688 00:33:50,757 --> 00:33:52,222 It's the ultimate act of dominance. 689 00:33:52,224 --> 00:33:54,991 I'm gonna stay here until you come. 690 00:33:54,993 --> 00:33:56,528 Unless I come first. 691 00:33:58,098 --> 00:33:59,497 You sly dog. 692 00:34:01,632 --> 00:34:03,899 - Go! Go! Go! - Did you get him? 693 00:34:03,901 --> 00:34:05,801 - Start the car! - Started it. I started it. 694 00:34:05,803 --> 00:34:07,469 Everybody put their seat belts on. 695 00:34:07,471 --> 00:34:08,871 Go! Go! Go! 696 00:34:08,873 --> 00:34:10,107 Everybody in. 697 00:34:10,109 --> 00:34:11,975 Is everybody in? 698 00:34:15,912 --> 00:34:18,980 This is gonna be nice and smooth, Mr. Stubbies. 699 00:34:18,982 --> 00:34:20,814 This isn't gonna hurt whatsoever. 700 00:34:20,816 --> 00:34:23,283 Stay put. We're coming for you. We're coming for you. 701 00:34:23,285 --> 00:34:26,687 Yeah, but hurry up! Daddy, hurry up! 702 00:34:26,689 --> 00:34:28,621 Mr. Stubbles is not into you. He can't be into you. 703 00:34:28,623 --> 00:34:30,990 He's not a sexual being, okay? So put him down! 704 00:34:37,765 --> 00:34:39,033 Hey, team. 705 00:34:45,705 --> 00:34:49,207 Jerry, how are you in my room right now? 706 00:34:49,209 --> 00:34:50,875 We're all in my room. 707 00:34:50,877 --> 00:34:54,410 No, of course I'm not there. I'm here. In my basement. 708 00:34:54,412 --> 00:34:55,712 Where are you guys? 709 00:34:55,714 --> 00:34:57,914 Are you fucking kidding me? 710 00:34:57,916 --> 00:35:00,950 He built a replica of your bedroom in his basement? 711 00:35:00,952 --> 00:35:02,520 Good night, gentlemen. 712 00:35:12,163 --> 00:35:13,763 Amateurs. 713 00:35:14,864 --> 00:35:16,531 Let's begin. Um... 714 00:35:16,533 --> 00:35:18,800 So, kind of a rough start. 715 00:35:18,802 --> 00:35:20,467 That was pretty standard, actually. 716 00:35:20,469 --> 00:35:22,003 Yeah, Jerry's extreme. 717 00:35:22,005 --> 00:35:24,905 The masturbation was fake, but the pleasure was real. 718 00:35:24,907 --> 00:35:27,974 I mean, I've said it before, but we're not gonna tag him because, 719 00:35:27,976 --> 00:35:30,376 you know, he's better at tag than us. 720 00:35:30,378 --> 00:35:32,212 I'm obviously going to be the one that tags Jerry. 721 00:35:32,214 --> 00:35:36,314 I've been working with this Japanese guy. Sensei. 722 00:35:36,316 --> 00:35:38,984 He knows zero karate. 723 00:35:38,986 --> 00:35:41,421 He doesn't know karate. He's claiming to know karate? 724 00:35:43,323 --> 00:35:45,590 He doesn't know karate. I don't think he knows karate. 725 00:35:45,592 --> 00:35:48,293 Well, then, what does he call it when I roundhouse kicked him in 10th grade? 726 00:35:48,295 --> 00:35:51,095 Callahan and Chilli did get in a huge fight sophomore year of high school 727 00:35:51,098 --> 00:35:55,966 and Callahan did... Just tag Chilli with a beautiful roundhouse kick. 728 00:35:55,968 --> 00:35:58,938 But in Chilli's defense, when Callahan kicked him... 729 00:36:00,005 --> 00:36:01,003 He shit in his pants! 730 00:36:01,005 --> 00:36:03,139 Yeah, okay, that never happened. 731 00:36:03,141 --> 00:36:06,541 And it's nice to actually get an opportunity to address it directly. 732 00:36:06,543 --> 00:36:07,844 By all means. I'm all ears. 733 00:36:07,846 --> 00:36:11,113 I mean, I was very sweaty. It was warm out. 734 00:36:11,115 --> 00:36:15,150 Well, the sweaty ass defense? He's been banging that drum for years. 735 00:36:15,152 --> 00:36:17,418 Hottest October on record, if I recall. Look it up. 736 00:36:17,420 --> 00:36:19,187 Wall Street Journal, you have fact checkers 737 00:36:19,189 --> 00:36:22,189 - for this exact scenario, right? - Mmm-hmm. Yeah. 738 00:36:22,191 --> 00:36:24,591 While you're at it, can you have the fact checkers look into 739 00:36:24,593 --> 00:36:26,227 if The Maury Povich Show is staged? 740 00:36:26,229 --> 00:36:29,696 'Cause it feels staged but he swears it's not staged. 741 00:36:29,698 --> 00:36:33,166 But they do the exact same thing every time. 742 00:36:33,168 --> 00:36:34,568 What? 743 00:36:49,349 --> 00:36:52,919 Sable, I know where Jerry's gonna be. I need the tag. 744 00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:56,088 Okay. 745 00:36:57,222 --> 00:37:00,456 Yeah. Just picked up the tux. 746 00:37:00,458 --> 00:37:02,892 All right, see you soon, babe. 747 00:37:02,894 --> 00:37:05,328 Hey, Rob, how're you doing, bud? Good to see you. 748 00:37:05,330 --> 00:37:06,929 You, too, man. 749 00:37:06,931 --> 00:37:08,797 Gloria, ma'am. 750 00:37:08,799 --> 00:37:10,698 - My balloon! - Whoa! 751 00:37:10,700 --> 00:37:12,834 Hey. This must be yours, buddy. 752 00:37:12,836 --> 00:37:14,402 - Thanks, mister. - Look at that. 753 00:37:14,404 --> 00:37:16,105 You gonna eat that whole thing? 754 00:37:16,107 --> 00:37:18,572 You know what? You should consider some alternative snacks. 755 00:37:18,574 --> 00:37:20,442 Keeping fitness fun, buddy. 756 00:37:28,083 --> 00:37:29,149 Oh! 757 00:37:29,151 --> 00:37:31,486 Excuse me, ma'am. You dropped your... 758 00:37:33,721 --> 00:37:35,621 Men's athletic crossover-style boot 759 00:37:35,623 --> 00:37:36,989 size nine and a half. 760 00:37:36,991 --> 00:37:39,991 Suggests a man that is neither fashionable 761 00:37:39,993 --> 00:37:41,128 nor athletic. 762 00:37:41,929 --> 00:37:43,063 Hoagie. 763 00:37:52,672 --> 00:37:54,570 Little does Hoagie know, 764 00:37:54,572 --> 00:37:57,172 I've been teaching a women's self-defense boot camp for six years. 765 00:37:57,742 --> 00:37:59,109 First defense 101. 766 00:37:59,111 --> 00:38:00,512 Class is in session. 767 00:38:10,988 --> 00:38:12,823 Holy shit! 768 00:38:52,092 --> 00:38:53,623 - You're done, Hoagie. - Never! 769 00:38:53,625 --> 00:38:54,891 You're done. 770 00:38:54,893 --> 00:38:55,993 Never! 771 00:38:57,696 --> 00:38:59,062 All right, I'm done. 772 00:39:00,132 --> 00:39:01,630 Dude, you look amazing, by the way. 773 00:39:01,632 --> 00:39:03,032 You've really upped your game! 774 00:39:03,034 --> 00:39:04,734 How'd you know I was gonna be here? 775 00:39:04,736 --> 00:39:07,036 A-ha! Surprised you, right? 776 00:39:07,038 --> 00:39:08,904 I saw the pick-up ticket for your tailor 777 00:39:08,906 --> 00:39:10,874 when we broke into your house the other night. 778 00:39:13,043 --> 00:39:15,710 - Impressive. - I'm taking you down, Jerry. 779 00:39:15,712 --> 00:39:17,345 Well, we both know that's never gonna happen. 780 00:39:17,347 --> 00:39:19,481 Excuse me, excuse me. Coming through. Excuse me. 781 00:39:19,483 --> 00:39:22,116 Oh, boy. Cavalry's coming in. 782 00:39:22,118 --> 00:39:23,784 Hey, Jerry. 783 00:39:23,786 --> 00:39:25,285 This old lady bothering you? 784 00:39:25,287 --> 00:39:27,820 I'm good, Marvin. Thanks, man. Everything's all right. 785 00:39:27,822 --> 00:39:29,289 It's just a friend of mine. 786 00:39:29,291 --> 00:39:30,757 Hey, it's good to see you. Looking good, brother. 787 00:39:30,759 --> 00:39:32,794 - My man. - Yeah, staying in shape. 788 00:39:34,129 --> 00:39:36,162 What the fuck? 789 00:39:36,164 --> 00:39:38,364 All right, well, maybe I'll call the police. All right? 790 00:39:38,366 --> 00:39:40,732 This is assault. You willing to go to jail for this? 791 00:39:40,734 --> 00:39:42,667 You're goddamn right, I am. 792 00:39:42,669 --> 00:39:48,072 Okay, then, maybe I will cause a big scene and get arrested also. 793 00:39:48,074 --> 00:39:51,142 Then, once we both get to jail, I'll just... 794 00:39:51,144 --> 00:39:52,742 What? Bribe a guard? 795 00:39:52,744 --> 00:39:54,778 Be put in my cell? I figured you'd say that. It's pretty obvious. 796 00:39:54,780 --> 00:39:57,114 Hoag, you have to realize that's gonna take hours, 797 00:39:57,116 --> 00:39:59,482 during which time I'll have fashioned a shiv 798 00:39:59,484 --> 00:40:02,018 from my toothbrush and used it to murder my cellmate. 799 00:40:02,020 --> 00:40:03,652 You'd just shiv your cellmate? 800 00:40:03,654 --> 00:40:05,788 Don't worry, he's a bad person who's done terrible things. 801 00:40:05,790 --> 00:40:07,424 So justice is served. 802 00:40:07,426 --> 00:40:09,391 - Okay. - It gets me thrown in solitary confinement, 803 00:40:09,393 --> 00:40:13,828 which is what I want. Out of reach. Completely untaggable. 804 00:40:13,830 --> 00:40:15,266 Damn, you have thought this through. 805 00:40:16,699 --> 00:40:18,232 Pretty good, right? 806 00:40:18,234 --> 00:40:20,501 Look, understand two things, Hoagie. 807 00:40:20,503 --> 00:40:22,969 First, you're not gonna screw up this wedding. Okay? 808 00:40:22,971 --> 00:40:25,872 And secondly, I will never let you tag me. 809 00:40:25,874 --> 00:40:28,341 You're gonna die before that ever happens. You understand that, right? 810 00:40:28,343 --> 00:40:32,312 I don't fear death, Jerry. And I'm not gonna give this up. 811 00:40:32,314 --> 00:40:33,712 Till I die. 812 00:40:33,714 --> 00:40:36,284 Okay. Good luck. 813 00:40:45,591 --> 00:40:47,660 See you at the rehearsal, Jerry. 814 00:40:54,433 --> 00:40:56,333 These hushpuppies are insane. 815 00:40:56,335 --> 00:40:58,701 All right, listen. T-minus 34 minutes 816 00:40:58,703 --> 00:41:01,871 until this rehearsal dinner is over, and Jerry's fair game. 817 00:41:01,873 --> 00:41:03,306 There's four of us, there's four exits. 818 00:41:03,308 --> 00:41:04,673 Let's fan out and trap this rat. 819 00:41:04,675 --> 00:41:06,209 Okay? Synchronize your watches. 820 00:41:06,211 --> 00:41:08,277 - I don't know how to do that. - I don't wear a watch. 821 00:41:08,279 --> 00:41:09,746 Time is a construct. 822 00:41:10,814 --> 00:41:12,981 Okay, uh... 5:00. 823 00:41:12,983 --> 00:41:14,615 Could have said that at the beginning. 824 00:41:14,617 --> 00:41:16,084 Well, we said it now. 825 00:41:16,086 --> 00:41:19,120 - 5:00, how hard is that? - 5:00, yeah, it's easy. 826 00:41:19,122 --> 00:41:20,788 - Hi, guys. How are you? - How are ya? 827 00:41:20,790 --> 00:41:22,655 Sorry about the other night. 828 00:41:22,657 --> 00:41:24,291 Yeah, that wasn't cool. 829 00:41:24,293 --> 00:41:26,227 No. I mean, listen, I know it's not just you guys. 830 00:41:26,229 --> 00:41:28,261 I mean, Jerry's worse than all of you. 831 00:41:28,263 --> 00:41:30,063 He's very competitive. 832 00:41:30,065 --> 00:41:31,998 When we were kids, we had a contest to see 833 00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:34,633 who could hold their breath for the longest underwater. 834 00:41:34,635 --> 00:41:36,068 He almost died. 835 00:41:36,070 --> 00:41:38,670 He won, but at what cost? Really? 836 00:41:38,672 --> 00:41:42,642 I hope he's this competitive when it comes to being a father. 837 00:41:44,211 --> 00:41:45,877 Are you pregnant? 838 00:41:45,879 --> 00:41:48,079 - Really? - Yeah, that's why the Shirley Temple. 839 00:41:48,081 --> 00:41:49,580 - Oh, my gosh! - I know. 840 00:41:49,582 --> 00:41:51,082 - Here, cheers! - Congratulations, that's great! 841 00:41:51,084 --> 00:41:52,550 - Cheers, thank you! - Oh, my gosh! 842 00:41:52,552 --> 00:41:54,050 - That's such good news. - Yeah. 843 00:41:54,052 --> 00:41:55,520 - We're not telling that many people. - Okay. 844 00:41:55,522 --> 00:41:57,921 Listen, I know it's gonna get a little wacky 845 00:41:57,923 --> 00:42:00,357 - over the next couple of days with you guys. - Sure, the fuck is... 846 00:42:00,359 --> 00:42:01,426 Okay? 847 00:42:02,461 --> 00:42:04,327 Just don't go too far. 848 00:42:04,329 --> 00:42:07,463 And, go out there and play golf. It's amazing. Do something fun. 849 00:42:07,465 --> 00:42:09,831 - Okay? Bye, guys. - See ya. 850 00:42:09,833 --> 00:42:12,334 I like her. She has a beautiful personality. 851 00:42:12,336 --> 00:42:14,235 Very effervescent. Good energy. 852 00:42:14,237 --> 00:42:16,004 Don't believe a word she fucking says. 853 00:42:16,006 --> 00:42:17,671 She's a hired hand. She's an actress. 854 00:42:17,673 --> 00:42:19,907 - What? - I mean, look at this son of a bitch. 855 00:42:19,909 --> 00:42:22,142 - This is Colonel Sanders in the flesh. - That's, like, her uncle. 856 00:42:22,144 --> 00:42:24,044 - It's the fucking Truman Show. - Will you stop? 857 00:42:24,046 --> 00:42:26,180 The whole thing. Jerry set it up. I guarantee it. 858 00:42:26,182 --> 00:42:28,315 Every single person here has been hired. 859 00:42:28,317 --> 00:42:29,749 You have gotta calm down. 860 00:42:29,751 --> 00:42:33,319 Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm his wife. 861 00:42:33,321 --> 00:42:36,224 Jerry, is that Cheryl Deakins? 862 00:42:41,629 --> 00:42:43,662 Ah! Yeah. Good. Hey! 863 00:42:43,664 --> 00:42:45,964 - You invited her? - Yeah, of course. 864 00:42:45,966 --> 00:42:48,699 What? We're all old friends. 865 00:42:48,701 --> 00:42:50,369 - Makes sense. - I'm not buying this. 866 00:42:54,340 --> 00:42:55,472 Is that, uh... 867 00:42:55,474 --> 00:42:56,839 Cheryl Deakins. 868 00:42:56,841 --> 00:42:59,610 - You know she was coming, Bob? - I did not. 869 00:42:59,612 --> 00:43:01,711 - I didn't either. - She looks good. 870 00:43:01,713 --> 00:43:03,348 - Great. She always does. - Yeah. 871 00:43:03,949 --> 00:43:05,448 Wow! 872 00:43:05,450 --> 00:43:08,050 Who is Cheryl Deakins? 873 00:43:08,052 --> 00:43:10,619 Is she like the Yoko or something? 874 00:43:10,621 --> 00:43:12,988 I don't get that reference but she's someone 875 00:43:12,990 --> 00:43:15,390 whose presence causes strain on our group. 876 00:43:15,392 --> 00:43:18,926 We've known her since grade school. 877 00:43:18,928 --> 00:43:23,098 She was the first girl that Chilli and Callahan had a crush on. 878 00:43:23,100 --> 00:43:26,534 When we were kids, Cheryl was into Chilli. 879 00:43:26,536 --> 00:43:28,902 Much to Callahan's chagrin. 880 00:43:28,904 --> 00:43:30,670 But young love is unpredictable. 881 00:43:30,672 --> 00:43:34,006 Later that same year, she decided she was into Callahan. 882 00:43:34,008 --> 00:43:36,942 Much to Chilli's chagrin. 883 00:43:36,944 --> 00:43:40,248 But she always had a place in her heart for Chilli. 884 00:43:49,055 --> 00:43:50,588 And this went on for decades. 885 00:43:50,590 --> 00:43:53,359 And all of a sudden, she just married an orthodontist. 886 00:43:54,760 --> 00:43:56,326 They get all the chicks. 887 00:43:56,328 --> 00:43:57,494 What? 888 00:43:57,496 --> 00:43:59,263 How long has it been since you've seen her? 889 00:43:59,265 --> 00:44:01,132 About 10 years for me. How 'bout you? 890 00:44:01,899 --> 00:44:04,066 Same, I guess. 891 00:44:04,068 --> 00:44:05,935 - Been a while. - Sure has. 892 00:44:05,937 --> 00:44:07,836 You sneaky trickster. 893 00:44:07,838 --> 00:44:10,473 She looks amazing, and you know it. Think about this. 894 00:44:10,475 --> 00:44:14,075 What if Cheryl ended up getting back together with our boy? 895 00:44:14,077 --> 00:44:15,710 - Chilli? - Callahan? 896 00:44:15,712 --> 00:44:17,045 Obviously. 897 00:44:17,047 --> 00:44:18,446 - Wait. What? - Duh. 898 00:44:18,448 --> 00:44:20,314 - Did you say Chilli? - You're Team Callahan? 899 00:44:20,316 --> 00:44:22,149 - Yeah! - We've been married all this time and you think 900 00:44:22,151 --> 00:44:23,884 she should end up with Callahan? 901 00:44:23,886 --> 00:44:25,818 Of course. Wait, you think Chilli? 902 00:44:25,820 --> 00:44:27,887 Wait, do you know those guys at all? 903 00:44:27,889 --> 00:44:29,822 Who are you right now? 904 00:44:29,824 --> 00:44:31,659 - What? - You're freaking me out. 905 00:44:31,661 --> 00:44:34,795 I feel like I don't even know you. You're like this foreign person. 906 00:44:36,096 --> 00:44:38,531 Do you want me to be a foreign person? 907 00:44:38,533 --> 00:44:40,465 What? 908 00:44:40,467 --> 00:44:41,733 Here? Right now? 909 00:44:41,735 --> 00:44:45,604 Because I just got lost on the way to bibliotheque 910 00:44:45,606 --> 00:44:48,039 and I don't know where all my other French friends are. 911 00:44:48,041 --> 00:44:50,441 - Chantelle is here? - Chantelle is here with... 912 00:44:50,443 --> 00:44:51,877 Oh, my God! 913 00:44:54,880 --> 00:44:57,581 Honey, it's almost 5:00. 914 00:44:57,583 --> 00:44:59,049 Keep your head in the game. 915 00:44:59,051 --> 00:45:00,550 You're so good. 916 00:45:00,552 --> 00:45:01,917 Come on, we'll go to the bathroom for five minutes. 917 00:45:01,919 --> 00:45:03,186 All right. 918 00:45:03,188 --> 00:45:04,387 - It's crazy. - Huh. 919 00:45:04,389 --> 00:45:06,088 Hey, you should go talk with her. 920 00:45:06,090 --> 00:45:08,357 - No, you should go. - Neither of you should. 921 00:45:08,359 --> 00:45:10,626 - Thanks. - You're welcome. Neither one. 922 00:45:10,628 --> 00:45:11,893 Shut up, Sable. 923 00:45:11,895 --> 00:45:13,495 No, honestly, it should be you, Bob. 924 00:45:13,497 --> 00:45:14,996 No, I think she really wants to talk to you. 925 00:45:14,998 --> 00:45:17,632 'Cause I think girls really like 926 00:45:17,634 --> 00:45:22,037 depressed guys that still have a name for their bong. 927 00:45:25,574 --> 00:45:27,176 Get a good one. 928 00:45:29,244 --> 00:45:31,445 This is gonna go great. 929 00:45:31,447 --> 00:45:34,949 - Thank you. - All right, good advice. 930 00:45:36,050 --> 00:45:38,551 Good luck. 931 00:45:38,553 --> 00:45:40,254 Tell her I said hi. 932 00:45:44,458 --> 00:45:46,091 Cheryl Deakins. 933 00:45:46,093 --> 00:45:48,159 Chilli Cilliano. 934 00:45:48,161 --> 00:45:49,893 How'd you know it was me? 935 00:45:49,895 --> 00:45:52,129 I'd know that faint smell of sativa and Old Spice anywhere. 936 00:45:52,131 --> 00:45:54,131 Yeah. I had to get a little stoned. 937 00:45:54,133 --> 00:45:57,267 I can't be sober at these things. They're awful. 938 00:45:57,269 --> 00:45:59,235 That was the wrong choice, man. 939 00:45:59,237 --> 00:46:01,537 - What? - Neither of you should have gone, 940 00:46:01,539 --> 00:46:06,074 but if one of you should have went then it should have been you. 941 00:46:06,076 --> 00:46:07,911 How many wines have you had? 942 00:46:09,079 --> 00:46:11,382 How many legs does an octopus have? 943 00:46:12,649 --> 00:46:14,017 Well, eight. 944 00:46:16,119 --> 00:46:20,054 I see that you've been rejecting fashion trends 945 00:46:20,056 --> 00:46:22,490 and haircuts and maybe hygiene. I respect that. 946 00:46:22,492 --> 00:46:27,460 Well, I think respect is the key to the beginning of rebuilding a friendship. 947 00:46:27,462 --> 00:46:29,896 - Is that a saying? Maybe? - Yeah, sure. Who said that? 948 00:46:29,898 --> 00:46:33,767 I don't know. I wanna hear about this husband of yours. 949 00:46:33,769 --> 00:46:38,470 What's the story? Is he still charming, sensible, rich? 950 00:46:38,472 --> 00:46:40,672 No. Dead. 951 00:46:40,674 --> 00:46:42,808 Yeah, same with me. 952 00:46:42,810 --> 00:46:45,309 Dead to me. Divorced. 953 00:46:45,311 --> 00:46:49,913 No, I mean he's "dead" dead. He actually died. 954 00:46:49,915 --> 00:46:51,682 He's dead? 955 00:46:51,684 --> 00:46:53,451 For real? 956 00:46:53,453 --> 00:46:54,852 Oh... 957 00:46:54,854 --> 00:46:59,656 Yeah, he died in a car crash. We were separated already. 958 00:46:59,658 --> 00:47:01,090 You already separated. 959 00:47:01,092 --> 00:47:03,025 - Yeah. - And now he's dead. He's gone. 960 00:47:03,027 --> 00:47:04,193 - He's gone. - Officially. 961 00:47:04,195 --> 00:47:06,897 Act a little more upset about it. 962 00:47:06,899 --> 00:47:09,265 I know, but, anyway, how are you? How's your life? 963 00:47:09,267 --> 00:47:13,968 Great. I lost my business. Divorced. Playing tag competitively. 964 00:47:13,970 --> 00:47:15,470 Pretty much rock bottom. 965 00:47:15,472 --> 00:47:17,605 - Are you trying to make me horny? - Fuck yes, I am. 966 00:47:17,607 --> 00:47:19,374 - 'Cause it's happening. - It is? 967 00:47:19,376 --> 00:47:20,941 Oh, yeah. 968 00:47:22,378 --> 00:47:24,178 So have you tried the hushpuppies, or what? 969 00:47:24,180 --> 00:47:26,713 What do you think they're talking about? 970 00:47:26,715 --> 00:47:29,315 I don't know, and I don't want you to worry about it. 971 00:47:29,317 --> 00:47:30,851 We've got 15 minutes. 972 00:47:30,853 --> 00:47:36,456 Oh, Chilli, I think about you all the time, Chilli. 973 00:47:36,458 --> 00:47:38,825 Oh, yeah? But what about Callahan? He's so handsome. 974 00:47:38,827 --> 00:47:41,960 He's very handsome, but he's a selfish lover. 975 00:47:41,962 --> 00:47:43,361 With a small dick. 976 00:47:43,363 --> 00:47:46,300 - Really? Okay. - Plus he sobs after he comes. 977 00:47:47,334 --> 00:47:48,633 Wow. 978 00:47:48,635 --> 00:47:50,735 It's okay, Callahan. It's nothing to be ashamed of. 979 00:47:50,737 --> 00:47:52,603 Okay, you know what? You guys are all 12-year-olds. 980 00:47:52,605 --> 00:47:53,737 Oh, Chilli. 981 00:47:53,739 --> 00:47:56,607 Hey, Cheryl, I want to reconnect. 982 00:47:56,609 --> 00:47:59,676 Oh, yeah. 983 00:47:59,678 --> 00:48:01,544 - What's happening now? - Oh, Bob! 984 00:48:01,546 --> 00:48:04,614 Yeah, I'm just... Oh, I'm just feeling the vibes. 985 00:48:04,616 --> 00:48:08,450 I mean, who wants to have sex with a guy named Bob? 986 00:48:08,452 --> 00:48:11,320 "Oh, Bob." Just doesn't sound right. "Oh, Bob." 987 00:48:11,322 --> 00:48:13,187 - "Oh, Bob." - "Oh, Bob." 988 00:48:13,189 --> 00:48:15,657 - "Bob. Bob, Bob." - "Oh, Robert." 989 00:48:15,659 --> 00:48:16,658 "Bob." 990 00:48:16,660 --> 00:48:18,359 I wasn't gonna text you, you know? 991 00:48:18,361 --> 00:48:19,560 I didn't wanna mess with you when you were married. 992 00:48:19,562 --> 00:48:21,462 No, I think that's nice. Respectful. 993 00:48:21,464 --> 00:48:22,463 If I knew he was dead, I would have texted right away. 994 00:48:22,465 --> 00:48:23,798 All right. Okay. 995 00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:25,967 - No! Please don't leave on that! - No, it's fine. 996 00:48:25,969 --> 00:48:28,168 We're good, we're good. I'm just gonna use the ladies' room. 997 00:48:28,170 --> 00:48:30,770 - I'll see you later. It's nice to see you. - Okay. It's great to see you. 998 00:48:30,772 --> 00:48:32,039 You, too. 999 00:48:35,777 --> 00:48:37,245 Widowed. 1000 00:48:54,226 --> 00:48:56,260 Cheryl Deakins. 1001 00:48:56,262 --> 00:48:58,094 What are you doing here? 1002 00:48:58,096 --> 00:48:59,396 And where are the urinals? 1003 00:48:59,398 --> 00:49:02,265 Probably in the men's room. 1004 00:49:02,267 --> 00:49:04,133 - You haven't changed a bit. - Thank you. 1005 00:49:04,135 --> 00:49:07,103 - No, that was not a compliment. - Well... 1006 00:49:07,105 --> 00:49:08,971 - I have matured. - Have you? Really? 1007 00:49:08,973 --> 00:49:11,707 Because this old move where you follow me into the bathroom 1008 00:49:11,709 --> 00:49:13,441 it's exactly what you did at junior prom. 1009 00:49:13,443 --> 00:49:16,177 It was a good move then, and it's a good move now. 1010 00:49:16,179 --> 00:49:17,879 - Marginally nicer bathroom. - Hmm. 1011 00:49:17,881 --> 00:49:19,346 Do you wanna get a drink? 1012 00:49:19,348 --> 00:49:21,148 Actually, I think I'm gonna head home. 1013 00:49:21,150 --> 00:49:22,716 Can I give you a ride? 1014 00:49:22,718 --> 00:49:24,351 - Sure. - Great. 1015 00:49:24,353 --> 00:49:27,523 - Right after we have that drink. - Oh, I see what you did there. 1016 00:49:31,393 --> 00:49:32,592 Okay, guys. It's almost go time. 1017 00:49:32,594 --> 00:49:34,727 Is everybody in position? Over. 1018 00:49:34,729 --> 00:49:37,095 Sable is in position. 1019 00:49:38,566 --> 00:49:40,499 - Chilli! - Yeah. Let's get him. 1020 00:49:40,501 --> 00:49:43,737 Callahan. Callahan, do you read me? Over. 1021 00:49:45,940 --> 00:49:48,108 Callahan. Where are you, buddy? 1022 00:49:50,910 --> 00:49:52,443 Callahan! 1023 00:49:52,445 --> 00:49:54,781 We got an unguarded exit, okay? 1024 00:49:55,682 --> 00:49:57,314 Hi. 1025 00:49:57,316 --> 00:49:58,784 Callahan! 1026 00:50:05,824 --> 00:50:07,156 Go! Go! Go! Go! 1027 00:50:07,158 --> 00:50:08,757 Go! 1028 00:50:08,759 --> 00:50:10,461 Not today, motherfucker! 1029 00:50:11,729 --> 00:50:13,798 Hey, thanks for coming. Appreciate it. 1030 00:50:19,069 --> 00:50:20,301 Go! Go! 1031 00:50:20,303 --> 00:50:22,304 Come and get it, bitches! 1032 00:50:24,340 --> 00:50:27,276 Get in! Get in! We're close. We're close. 1033 00:50:41,521 --> 00:50:44,224 - Hold on! Hold on! - Go, go! 1034 00:50:45,125 --> 00:50:47,224 Go faster! Go faster! 1035 00:50:47,226 --> 00:50:48,629 Giddy up! 1036 00:50:49,930 --> 00:50:51,631 We're coming for you! 1037 00:51:03,708 --> 00:51:04,774 Incoming! 1038 00:51:04,776 --> 00:51:06,042 No, no, no! 1039 00:51:06,044 --> 00:51:07,512 Go! Go! 1040 00:51:10,280 --> 00:51:11,847 God, I wish I had my gun here. 1041 00:51:11,849 --> 00:51:13,882 There are so many good birds to shoot. 1042 00:51:15,586 --> 00:51:17,686 - So, this is a vacation for you? - Yeah. 1043 00:51:17,688 --> 00:51:20,888 I mean some couples go on cruises. Some couples go camping. 1044 00:51:20,890 --> 00:51:24,925 Some couples go to strip clubs and have gangbangs, 1045 00:51:24,927 --> 00:51:27,227 and this is just what we do. This is what we love. 1046 00:51:27,229 --> 00:51:29,262 This is our gangbang. 1047 00:51:29,264 --> 00:51:31,665 You know, it seems to me like you'd be really good at the game. 1048 00:51:31,667 --> 00:51:33,533 - Why don't you play? - Well, 1049 00:51:33,535 --> 00:51:36,036 They came up with the rules when they were nine. No girls allowed. 1050 00:51:36,038 --> 00:51:40,539 And to be honest, I can get a little overly aggressive 1051 00:51:40,541 --> 00:51:42,374 and competitive sometimes. 1052 00:51:42,376 --> 00:51:44,910 Come on, Jerry. You're dead meat! 1053 00:51:44,912 --> 00:51:46,277 Yeah! 1054 00:51:46,279 --> 00:51:48,047 Keep your eyes downfield! 1055 00:51:48,049 --> 00:51:49,781 Cut across the fourth fairway! 1056 00:51:49,783 --> 00:51:51,348 Don't fuck this up! 1057 00:51:51,350 --> 00:51:54,518 Yeah. Well. 1058 00:51:54,520 --> 00:51:57,222 Oh, I have to show you pictures of our kids. 1059 00:51:59,391 --> 00:52:00,959 Go, go, go! 1060 00:52:02,326 --> 00:52:03,827 Hoagie, get him. 1061 00:52:03,829 --> 00:52:05,363 Hold on. Hold on. 1062 00:52:06,397 --> 00:52:07,963 Hoagie, stop! 1063 00:52:07,965 --> 00:52:09,197 No. Hoagie. 1064 00:52:09,199 --> 00:52:11,867 - What are you doing? - I can't see! 1065 00:52:25,047 --> 00:52:27,115 - Everybody good? - I'm fine. 1066 00:52:27,117 --> 00:52:28,450 I'm fine. 1067 00:52:30,086 --> 00:52:31,519 Well, that happened. 1068 00:52:32,188 --> 00:52:34,487 Onward. 1069 00:52:34,489 --> 00:52:37,224 - Let's get him. - That was invigorating. 1070 00:52:49,736 --> 00:52:53,904 That is psychological warfare right there. 1071 00:52:53,906 --> 00:52:56,140 - That's impressive. - Yeah, that's a good move. 1072 00:52:56,142 --> 00:52:57,810 Good one, Jer! 1073 00:53:01,713 --> 00:53:03,847 There he is! 1074 00:53:03,849 --> 00:53:04,916 Hello, boys. 1075 00:53:07,818 --> 00:53:08,951 What? 1076 00:53:11,388 --> 00:53:12,621 Okay, how's he doing this? 1077 00:53:12,623 --> 00:53:13,856 All right, Jerry, stop! 1078 00:53:13,858 --> 00:53:15,289 He's multiplying! It's happening! 1079 00:53:15,291 --> 00:53:16,925 - What the fuck? - There's one! 1080 00:53:19,295 --> 00:53:21,294 - Hey! - What? 1081 00:53:21,296 --> 00:53:24,297 There's so many. There's so many! 1082 00:53:24,299 --> 00:53:26,234 There he is! I'm coming for you, Jerry! 1083 00:53:26,236 --> 00:53:27,669 Chilli, you're not even it! 1084 00:53:35,843 --> 00:53:37,445 I'm on your ass! 1085 00:53:39,080 --> 00:53:40,515 Come on! 1086 00:53:49,321 --> 00:53:51,024 Oh, shit! 1087 00:53:51,792 --> 00:53:53,559 Shit! 1088 00:54:00,800 --> 00:54:03,966 This is terrible. This is pure bullshit. 1089 00:54:03,968 --> 00:54:05,301 We should not be here. 1090 00:54:05,303 --> 00:54:07,804 This is gettin' way too extreme. 1091 00:54:07,806 --> 00:54:09,504 I need you to buck up, Sable. 1092 00:54:09,506 --> 00:54:11,073 - Yeah. - Come on, let's stay focused. 1093 00:54:11,075 --> 00:54:13,844 Yeah, we bucked up out of the goddamn golf cart. 1094 00:54:18,215 --> 00:54:20,347 You smell that? Do you smell it? 1095 00:54:20,349 --> 00:54:21,949 It's Jerry. I smell him. 1096 00:54:21,951 --> 00:54:23,584 It's leaves and grass. 1097 00:54:23,586 --> 00:54:25,286 And centipedes. 1098 00:54:25,288 --> 00:54:27,154 Just typical woods stuff. 1099 00:54:27,156 --> 00:54:28,690 He's close. 1100 00:54:29,457 --> 00:54:30,623 I can feel it. 1101 00:54:30,625 --> 00:54:31,891 I can feel something. 1102 00:54:33,195 --> 00:54:34,930 Oh, shit! 1103 00:54:36,832 --> 00:54:38,897 - Jesus. Oh, my God. - Shit. 1104 00:54:38,899 --> 00:54:41,133 - Oh, my God. - Wow, that's crazy. 1105 00:54:42,636 --> 00:54:45,438 Our friend is a psychopath, and this is scary. 1106 00:54:46,107 --> 00:54:48,307 He got me. I'm down. 1107 00:54:48,309 --> 00:54:51,242 This is on you now. Come here. 1108 00:54:51,244 --> 00:54:53,177 Let me tag you. 1109 00:54:53,179 --> 00:54:54,446 Come on! 1110 00:54:56,082 --> 00:54:57,747 All right. 1111 00:54:57,749 --> 00:54:59,416 I can see him. 1112 00:54:59,418 --> 00:55:02,552 He's at three o'clock. 50 yards out. 1113 00:55:02,554 --> 00:55:04,722 - Three o'clock. Got it. - Three o'clock. 1114 00:55:06,557 --> 00:55:08,092 Sable! 1115 00:55:10,360 --> 00:55:12,194 That three o'clock. 1116 00:55:12,196 --> 00:55:14,263 - You didn't say which time zone, man! - That's not time zones. 1117 00:55:14,265 --> 00:55:16,764 Why didn't you just point the first time? Next time, just point. 1118 00:55:16,766 --> 00:55:18,967 It's that way. Go! Go, go, go! 1119 00:55:18,969 --> 00:55:21,004 Go, Sable, go! 1120 00:55:44,225 --> 00:55:45,893 I see you. 1121 00:55:48,195 --> 00:55:49,930 Yeah, motherfucker. 1122 00:55:55,134 --> 00:55:56,499 You're it! 1123 00:56:08,380 --> 00:56:09,747 Oh, I don't like that. 1124 00:56:14,517 --> 00:56:15,920 Shh. 1125 00:56:17,154 --> 00:56:18,155 Sleep. 1126 00:56:23,826 --> 00:56:24,827 Sable? 1127 00:56:26,029 --> 00:56:27,030 Sable? 1128 00:56:41,409 --> 00:56:42,675 What happened? 1129 00:56:42,677 --> 00:56:43,809 We got chloroformed. 1130 00:56:43,811 --> 00:56:45,677 Chloroformed? What? 1131 00:56:45,679 --> 00:56:49,514 Bob took our car, and now we're in a Lyft. We're going to the Sandpiper. 1132 00:56:49,516 --> 00:56:50,882 I don't wanna be it anymore. 1133 00:56:50,884 --> 00:56:52,516 I don't wanna be it. Hoagie, it's on you, bud. 1134 00:56:52,518 --> 00:56:53,985 Now, what the fuck? 1135 00:56:53,987 --> 00:56:56,119 Wait. I'm confused. What just happened in there? 1136 00:56:56,121 --> 00:56:58,689 Well, Jerry woke up early, got some grounds crew 1137 00:56:58,691 --> 00:57:01,792 to go out in the woods, build some snares and a swinging log trap 1138 00:57:01,794 --> 00:57:05,027 and wear matching outfits to act as decoys. 1139 00:57:05,029 --> 00:57:06,432 Maniac. 1140 00:57:08,733 --> 00:57:10,100 Are you okay? 1141 00:57:10,102 --> 00:57:13,302 Yes, yes. I am. I'm good. 1142 00:57:13,304 --> 00:57:16,204 I am amazed that you're able to stay so optimistic after all that. 1143 00:57:16,206 --> 00:57:19,108 Well, some have said I am the heart and soul of the game. 1144 00:57:19,110 --> 00:57:20,275 No, you've said that. 1145 00:57:20,277 --> 00:57:22,476 You're the only person I've heard say that. 1146 00:57:22,478 --> 00:57:29,049 Well, technically "just me" fits the legal definition of "some" so suck a dick. 1147 00:57:29,051 --> 00:57:32,152 Well, it seems like the game has really kept you guys connected. 1148 00:57:32,154 --> 00:57:34,153 - Exactly. - Well, except Jerry. 1149 00:57:34,155 --> 00:57:35,321 What? Don't say that. 1150 00:57:35,323 --> 00:57:38,024 How often do you see Jerry outside of tag? 1151 00:57:38,026 --> 00:57:40,159 Well, not super frequently, but... 1152 00:57:40,161 --> 00:57:43,230 Would you consider that a close friendship? 1153 00:57:45,132 --> 00:57:47,567 Well, that's kind of a dicky question. 1154 00:57:57,111 --> 00:57:58,144 Thank you. 1155 00:57:59,412 --> 00:58:03,715 All I'm saying is Callahan better fucking be here. 1156 00:58:09,388 --> 00:58:11,920 - What's up? What? - Look who decided to show up. 1157 00:58:11,922 --> 00:58:14,589 What? I had a business call with Beijing. Couldn't be helped. I'm sorry. 1158 00:58:14,591 --> 00:58:17,259 Business call with Beijing? It would have been 8:00 a.m. Saturday out there. 1159 00:58:17,261 --> 00:58:19,395 You doing business calls at 8:00 a.m. Saturday morning? 1160 00:58:19,397 --> 00:58:21,229 Why do you know so much about Beijing time zones? 1161 00:58:21,231 --> 00:58:25,100 2008 Olympics. Michael Phelps, baby. 1162 00:58:25,102 --> 00:58:27,034 Fair enough. Okay, anyway, I have an idea. 1163 00:58:27,036 --> 00:58:28,535 - Anybody want to hear it? - Yes. 1164 00:58:28,537 --> 00:58:30,904 - What is it? - Jerry's gym. 1165 00:58:30,906 --> 00:58:32,472 Someone there's gotta know where he is. 1166 00:58:32,474 --> 00:58:34,907 - I like this. That's a good idea. - Great! 1167 00:58:34,909 --> 00:58:36,909 - Up top! Buckle up, gang! - Yes! Giddy up! 1168 00:58:36,911 --> 00:58:38,344 - You're it, by the way. - What's wrong? 1169 00:58:38,346 --> 00:58:40,413 - My fucking knee. - What's wrong with your knee? 1170 00:58:40,415 --> 00:58:41,746 I got hit by a log. 1171 00:58:41,748 --> 00:58:43,548 You got hit by a log, what? 1172 00:58:43,550 --> 00:58:45,418 We were chasing him. I got hit by a fucking log. It really hurts. 1173 00:58:45,420 --> 00:58:47,118 I'm gonna go in. Fuck, I'm pissed off about this, but go. 1174 00:58:47,120 --> 00:58:49,120 You want me to call the pediatrician? 1175 00:58:49,122 --> 00:58:51,122 - I'm an adult. I don't need a pediatrician. - You're not coming? 1176 00:58:51,124 --> 00:58:53,491 I think I'm gonna slow you down. Why don't you guys go? 1177 00:58:53,493 --> 00:58:54,758 After the gym, let's meet up. 1178 00:58:54,760 --> 00:58:55,893 All right, fine. 1179 00:58:55,895 --> 00:58:57,027 Trust me, I wanna go... 1180 00:58:57,029 --> 00:58:59,863 Y'all need a sub? Huh? I'm in! 1181 00:58:59,865 --> 00:59:02,199 We're super good, man. Thanks! 1182 00:59:02,201 --> 00:59:03,500 We're good. 1183 00:59:03,502 --> 00:59:06,202 Who's banned now, bitch? 1184 00:59:06,204 --> 00:59:09,940 I'm okay. All right, guys. Take it easy! 1185 00:59:21,385 --> 00:59:23,350 Oh, that knee healed up fast. 1186 00:59:23,352 --> 00:59:25,054 Stay out of this, Lou. 1187 00:59:29,258 --> 00:59:31,226 Oh, you saucy devil. 1188 00:59:42,069 --> 00:59:45,337 Hey, there, welcome to Granite Fitness. Get hard, stay hard. 1189 00:59:45,339 --> 00:59:49,108 Just so you guys know, we're going to be closing in five short minutes, 1190 00:59:49,110 --> 00:59:50,942 but is there anything I can help you with? 1191 00:59:50,944 --> 00:59:53,211 Yes, Dave, in fact there is something you could help us with. 1192 00:59:53,213 --> 00:59:55,781 How would you like to earn $500? 1193 01:00:02,653 --> 01:00:06,122 Okay, just so you guys know, I'm not sucking your guys' dicks, all right? 1194 01:00:06,124 --> 01:00:07,723 And I'm not letting you suck my dick either. 1195 01:00:07,725 --> 01:00:10,625 No one is talking about anyone sucking anyone's anything. 1196 01:00:10,627 --> 01:00:14,096 You sure about that? 'Cause this guy's eyeing me hard. 1197 01:00:14,099 --> 01:00:15,797 - What? - I'm just saying, man, 1198 01:00:15,799 --> 01:00:17,365 - you've got that vibe. - Yeah? 1199 01:00:17,367 --> 01:00:18,500 Stop it. 1200 01:00:18,502 --> 01:00:20,001 Hey, Sable, seriously. Chill. 1201 01:00:20,003 --> 01:00:21,302 - Just stop it. - Stop it? 1202 01:00:21,304 --> 01:00:23,837 It's too sexual. You're undressing me, 1203 01:00:23,839 --> 01:00:25,473 literally, right now with your eyes. 1204 01:00:25,475 --> 01:00:31,411 Dave. 500 bucks, and all we want is to know where Jerry is. 1205 01:00:31,413 --> 01:00:36,015 Oh! Jerry. Yes, okay, shit. 1206 01:00:36,017 --> 01:00:39,784 He did mention that some people were gonna swing by looking for him. 1207 01:00:39,786 --> 01:00:42,588 He left a message. Oh, yeah. 1208 01:00:42,590 --> 01:00:44,189 Go fuck yourselves. 1209 01:00:44,191 --> 01:00:46,491 Okay, look. $1,000. All right? Easy money. 1210 01:00:46,493 --> 01:00:48,059 Jerry won't even know that you sold him out. 1211 01:00:48,061 --> 01:00:49,927 I got a better idea. Why don't you go back 1212 01:00:49,929 --> 01:00:52,364 to the little Best Western that you're staying in 1213 01:00:52,366 --> 01:00:54,599 and jerk each other off in the nude? 1214 01:00:54,601 --> 01:00:57,067 Why do you keep taking this conversation into a sexual direction? 1215 01:00:57,069 --> 01:01:00,304 Listen, Dave. $1,500. Don't be an idiot. 1216 01:01:00,306 --> 01:01:02,038 Not a chance, you dick-suckin' homophobes. 1217 01:01:02,040 --> 01:01:04,307 - Hey! - What? 1218 01:01:04,309 --> 01:01:06,209 Dave? 1219 01:01:06,211 --> 01:01:07,510 Do you know what we're gonna do? 1220 01:01:07,512 --> 01:01:09,013 What? 1221 01:01:12,183 --> 01:01:14,885 We're gonna waterboard you. 1222 01:01:25,794 --> 01:01:27,195 Don't be a hero, Dave. 1223 01:01:27,197 --> 01:01:29,398 Jerry doesn't give a shit about you. 1224 01:01:30,732 --> 01:01:32,365 So tell us where he is. 1225 01:01:32,367 --> 01:01:33,901 I'm never gonna tell you. 1226 01:01:34,670 --> 01:01:37,404 Last chance, Dave. 1227 01:01:37,406 --> 01:01:39,772 You're not gonna go through with this for some game, 1228 01:01:39,774 --> 01:01:41,275 so quit jerking me off! 1229 01:01:42,610 --> 01:01:43,942 Oh, Jesus. 1230 01:01:43,944 --> 01:01:45,377 No one's jerking you off, kid. 1231 01:01:45,379 --> 01:01:47,413 'Cause Jerry has pushed us to the fucking edge. 1232 01:01:47,415 --> 01:01:49,347 If you don't tell us what we need to know, 1233 01:01:49,349 --> 01:01:51,549 you're going over the edge with us. 1234 01:01:51,551 --> 01:01:53,218 You ready to die for this shit? 1235 01:01:53,220 --> 01:01:54,851 I'd rather die than get sucked off by you homophobes. 1236 01:01:54,853 --> 01:01:58,088 We're not gonna suck you off, we're gonna waterboard you. 1237 01:01:58,090 --> 01:01:59,923 I'm just taking a principled stand right now. 1238 01:01:59,925 --> 01:02:02,459 Okay. Well, guess what. Now, this is gonna happen. All right? 1239 01:02:02,461 --> 01:02:04,428 Are you ready? I hope you can hold your breath, son! 1240 01:02:04,430 --> 01:02:05,462 Do it! 1241 01:02:05,464 --> 01:02:07,330 'Cause this is going right down! 1242 01:02:07,332 --> 01:02:09,565 - Yeah! - You son of a bitch! 1243 01:02:09,567 --> 01:02:10,765 Here it comes! 1244 01:02:10,767 --> 01:02:12,033 It's coming! It's coming! 1245 01:02:12,035 --> 01:02:13,802 Yeah. You know, we should not. 1246 01:02:13,804 --> 01:02:16,471 I feel like it would be too much. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 1247 01:02:16,473 --> 01:02:17,839 That got outta hand. 1248 01:02:17,841 --> 01:02:19,341 My heart is beating really fast right now. 1249 01:02:19,343 --> 01:02:21,509 We were just kidding, we were just bluffing. 1250 01:02:21,511 --> 01:02:24,211 - No, we weren't fucking bluffing! - Anna, Anna, Anna! 1251 01:02:24,213 --> 01:02:26,580 - Oh, my God, no. Just, no. - Sweetheart. 1252 01:02:26,582 --> 01:02:29,782 It's a war crime, right? It's not really who we are. 1253 01:02:29,784 --> 01:02:30,917 Yep, sorry. 1254 01:02:30,919 --> 01:02:33,086 We got a kinky cat over here. 1255 01:02:33,088 --> 01:02:34,754 - Okay. - Fuck you, Dave. 1256 01:02:34,756 --> 01:02:36,755 God, I love your passion. 1257 01:02:36,757 --> 01:02:38,460 I'll tell you what. 1258 01:02:40,227 --> 01:02:44,029 I will tell you where Jerry's gonna be 1259 01:02:44,031 --> 01:02:47,898 for $2,000. Cash. American. 1260 01:02:47,900 --> 01:02:49,301 - Okay, fine. - No problem. 1261 01:02:49,303 --> 01:02:50,702 Why didn't you say that in the first place? 1262 01:02:50,704 --> 01:02:52,803 Why did you take us down this whole road? 1263 01:02:52,805 --> 01:02:55,273 It looked like there was room to negotiate, and I was all prepared to do that. 1264 01:02:55,275 --> 01:02:57,508 But then we went down the whole torture track 1265 01:02:57,510 --> 01:03:02,279 and I dug my heels in, philosophically. I happen to be an objector. 1266 01:03:02,281 --> 01:03:04,947 - We are too, obviously. - Not really. 1267 01:03:04,949 --> 01:03:06,650 That was a bluff. 1268 01:03:06,652 --> 01:03:07,816 You know what? You should probably not write this down 1269 01:03:07,818 --> 01:03:09,285 and if it does come up, 1270 01:03:09,287 --> 01:03:12,021 just mention that we didn't actually waterboard him. 1271 01:03:12,023 --> 01:03:13,489 No waterboarding. 1272 01:03:13,491 --> 01:03:16,392 Just a lot of talk about sucking each other's dicks. 1273 01:03:16,394 --> 01:03:18,192 Yeah. 1274 01:03:18,194 --> 01:03:19,861 Okay, look, you know what? Here. 1275 01:03:19,863 --> 01:03:24,234 I'm gonna give you $2,000, and I'm gonna give you an extra 1276 01:03:24,900 --> 01:03:26,367 $500. 1277 01:03:26,369 --> 01:03:28,135 You just carry around that kind of cash all day? 1278 01:03:28,137 --> 01:03:29,970 You were mentioning something about Jerry, I think. 1279 01:03:29,972 --> 01:03:32,141 Yeah, Jerry is... 1280 01:03:32,675 --> 01:03:34,006 He's in AA. 1281 01:03:34,008 --> 01:03:36,442 - Wait, what? - Yeah. Alcoholics Anonymous. 1282 01:03:36,444 --> 01:03:38,745 I know what it stands for. Wait, did you guys know anything about this? 1283 01:03:38,747 --> 01:03:41,846 He goes there every morning at a church on Brunswick. 1284 01:03:41,848 --> 01:03:43,582 Looking back, I can kinda see it. 1285 01:03:43,584 --> 01:03:46,719 I mean, the first step is recognizing you have a problem. 1286 01:03:46,721 --> 01:03:49,754 I'm just glad he's getting the help he needs. 1287 01:03:49,756 --> 01:03:51,690 Sorry, did you say that church is on Brunswick? 1288 01:03:51,692 --> 01:03:53,057 - Yes. - Okay! 1289 01:03:53,059 --> 01:03:54,526 - Let's go! Clean up the water! - Thank you! 1290 01:03:54,528 --> 01:03:56,860 So sorry. 1291 01:03:56,862 --> 01:03:59,596 I told you this wasn't gonna be just another boring corporate profile, right? 1292 01:03:59,598 --> 01:04:01,197 Right. This is definitely different. 1293 01:04:01,199 --> 01:04:03,734 And I know I'm no longer the center of the story, 1294 01:04:03,736 --> 01:04:06,471 which is fine with me. I don't mind giving up the... 1295 01:04:09,039 --> 01:04:11,273 Bob, can I buy you a drink? 1296 01:04:11,275 --> 01:04:13,041 Can you fucking believe this? Hold on one second. 1297 01:04:13,043 --> 01:04:15,079 - Maybe... - One second, one second. 1298 01:04:17,014 --> 01:04:20,749 Hi! Hi! Wow! Look at this. 1299 01:04:20,751 --> 01:04:22,116 - How you doing? - Good. 1300 01:04:22,118 --> 01:04:23,184 Pretty good. Yeah, we're just catching up. 1301 01:04:23,186 --> 01:04:24,819 That's so nice. How's that knee? 1302 01:04:24,821 --> 01:04:26,687 - It actually does hurt. - Yeah. 1303 01:04:26,689 --> 01:04:29,724 But resting and talking to an old friend has actually really helped. 1304 01:04:29,726 --> 01:04:31,391 Thank you for asking. 1305 01:04:31,393 --> 01:04:33,360 - How was the business call with Beijing? - Super good. 1306 01:04:33,362 --> 01:04:34,828 - It was? - Yeah, I got a lot done. 1307 01:04:34,830 --> 01:04:36,363 Great. 1308 01:04:36,365 --> 01:04:38,130 What, you think I faked my business call to Beijing 1309 01:04:38,132 --> 01:04:39,599 like you faked hurting your knee? 1310 01:04:39,601 --> 01:04:41,633 You know what, dude? I'm sick of this shit, Bob. 1311 01:04:41,635 --> 01:04:43,569 - You're it. How 'bout that? - No! Pass. 1312 01:04:43,571 --> 01:04:45,471 - You can't pass. And you can't tag back. - You're it. I pass. 1313 01:04:45,473 --> 01:04:47,171 - Oh, my God. - It's like literally the first rule. 1314 01:04:47,173 --> 01:04:48,741 - You're it! You're it! - You cannot tag me back! 1315 01:04:48,743 --> 01:04:51,242 - I'll rewrite the fucking rule book! - Shut up! 1316 01:04:51,244 --> 01:04:52,844 Why are you acting like children? 1317 01:04:52,846 --> 01:04:54,645 - 'Cause he started it. - You started it. 1318 01:04:54,647 --> 01:04:56,447 - You literally started it. "My knee hurts." - No, you started it! 1319 01:04:56,449 --> 01:04:57,715 What do you think they're talking about? 1320 01:04:57,717 --> 01:04:58,850 Are we off the record? 1321 01:04:58,852 --> 01:05:00,519 Yeah, sure, sure. 1322 01:05:01,387 --> 01:05:02,452 No idea. 1323 01:05:02,454 --> 01:05:04,120 You know what? I shouldn't have come. 1324 01:05:04,122 --> 01:05:05,888 Jerry always gets in your head. 1325 01:05:05,890 --> 01:05:07,556 Did Jerry tell you to say that? 1326 01:05:07,558 --> 01:05:09,325 You part of the whole Truman Show of it all? 1327 01:05:09,327 --> 01:05:11,460 I mean, Jerry invited me to the rehearsal dinner, 1328 01:05:11,462 --> 01:05:14,295 because he thought it would distract you guys, which it did. 1329 01:05:14,297 --> 01:05:17,899 But I wanted to see you. So I came. 1330 01:05:17,901 --> 01:05:19,501 Sure. 1331 01:05:19,503 --> 01:05:21,103 Oh, my God. 1332 01:05:21,105 --> 01:05:23,405 You guys are fucking idiots. Both of you. But I love you both. 1333 01:05:23,407 --> 01:05:25,774 I'm gonna go. Maybe I'll see you later. Or not. 1334 01:05:25,776 --> 01:05:29,078 - Cheryl... - Go get Jerry. He fucking deserves it. 1335 01:05:30,646 --> 01:05:32,046 Bye, Cheryl. 1336 01:05:32,648 --> 01:05:34,013 Wow! 1337 01:05:34,015 --> 01:05:35,681 What do you want? 1338 01:05:35,683 --> 01:05:38,418 There's gonna be plenty of time to get rejected by Cheryl 1339 01:05:38,420 --> 01:05:41,086 after 12:00 a.m. on June 1st. 1340 01:05:41,088 --> 01:05:46,625 So what I need you guys to focus on, is the fact that we're a team. 1341 01:05:46,627 --> 01:05:50,027 Right? When we love each other, and we love this. 1342 01:05:50,029 --> 01:05:54,298 Let's bask in that. Stay focused on our mission. All right? 1343 01:05:54,300 --> 01:05:56,133 Let's get back on this horse and ride. 1344 01:05:56,135 --> 01:05:57,635 Let's get this asshole. 1345 01:05:57,637 --> 01:06:00,136 Lou, not part of it. Not at all. 1346 01:06:00,138 --> 01:06:01,506 Now, shake. 1347 01:06:02,541 --> 01:06:03,542 Shake! 1348 01:06:06,144 --> 01:06:09,213 All right. Now we got some work to do. 1349 01:06:21,458 --> 01:06:22,590 Got it. 1350 01:06:22,592 --> 01:06:24,461 Go get him, sweetie. 1351 01:06:39,740 --> 01:06:42,575 Okay. 1352 01:06:42,577 --> 01:06:45,444 Hey, do you think we should talk to Jerry about being an alcoholic 1353 01:06:45,446 --> 01:06:47,581 - before we get into all this? - No. 1354 01:06:50,517 --> 01:06:55,452 But now, I've been clean and sober for almost four years. 1355 01:06:55,454 --> 01:06:59,490 Thanks to all of you and that higher power. Amen? 1356 01:06:59,492 --> 01:07:01,594 Amen. 1357 01:07:03,228 --> 01:07:05,628 Jerry, you about ready to share? 1358 01:07:05,630 --> 01:07:07,699 Come on, y'all, let's give it up for Jerry. 1359 01:07:15,506 --> 01:07:18,242 - My name is Jerry. - Hi, Jerry. 1360 01:07:21,344 --> 01:07:24,578 The slight scent of weed. Chilli. 1361 01:07:24,580 --> 01:07:26,914 He thinks he's caught me off guard. 1362 01:07:26,916 --> 01:07:29,452 Oh, my God! I've caught him off guard. 1363 01:07:32,320 --> 01:07:34,587 He rushes in from behind. 1364 01:07:34,589 --> 01:07:37,526 Idiot. I give him a wake-up call. 1365 01:07:43,098 --> 01:07:47,233 Hazelnut coffee? What kind of bitch drinks hazelnut? 1366 01:07:49,003 --> 01:07:51,671 Holy! Chilli! Hit me! 1367 01:07:52,839 --> 01:07:54,438 Get him! 1368 01:07:54,440 --> 01:07:57,408 I'm going to trap him and tag him in the face. 1369 01:07:57,410 --> 01:08:01,480 And yet, in my heart of hearts, pretty sure it's not gonna work. 1370 01:08:03,315 --> 01:08:07,416 Hoagie's attempts to face me fail because he lacks confidence. 1371 01:08:07,418 --> 01:08:10,185 Also, I think it's fair to say 1372 01:08:10,187 --> 01:08:14,025 I'm fucking surgical with these complimentary donuts. 1373 01:08:17,594 --> 01:08:21,464 And this is why print journalism is dying. 1374 01:08:24,501 --> 01:08:27,668 Yes! This is the moment I've been waiting for. 1375 01:08:27,670 --> 01:08:30,706 I'm going to be the one who tags Jerry. 1376 01:08:33,742 --> 01:08:37,211 Callahan will become distracted by his own arrogant thoughts, 1377 01:08:38,413 --> 01:08:40,446 which I will exploit. 1378 01:08:40,448 --> 01:08:43,851 This will be my victory, which makes sense because success breeds success 1379 01:08:44,786 --> 01:08:45,787 Oh, God. 1380 01:08:56,896 --> 01:09:01,932 How come "bi-weekly" means both twice a week and every other week? 1381 01:09:01,934 --> 01:09:06,338 That's mad confusing and it's just linguistically lazy. 1382 01:09:12,509 --> 01:09:13,510 Oh, shit! 1383 01:09:25,088 --> 01:09:26,756 - Holy shit! - Excessive. 1384 01:09:35,397 --> 01:09:37,866 Feeling trapped, Jerry? 1385 01:09:38,466 --> 01:09:39,665 No. 1386 01:09:39,667 --> 01:09:40,668 Nice. 1387 01:09:43,838 --> 01:09:44,839 Holy shit! 1388 01:09:47,041 --> 01:09:48,241 No, no, no! 1389 01:09:49,342 --> 01:09:50,708 No, no, no! 1390 01:09:51,678 --> 01:09:53,911 We got you, Jerry! You're trapped! 1391 01:09:53,913 --> 01:09:57,180 Five hours till your wedding! We can wait it out if you can! 1392 01:10:12,597 --> 01:10:15,597 Shit. You know what I just realized? 1393 01:10:15,599 --> 01:10:18,333 There's a lot of sacramental wine and wafers in there. 1394 01:10:18,335 --> 01:10:19,401 He could survive for quite a while. 1395 01:10:19,403 --> 01:10:20,669 No, he can't drink. 1396 01:10:20,671 --> 01:10:22,003 Yeah, but it's not real wine. 1397 01:10:22,005 --> 01:10:23,270 Yes, it is. 1398 01:10:23,272 --> 01:10:25,140 It's just grape juice. It's not wine. 1399 01:10:25,142 --> 01:10:29,443 I mean, I was once so fucked up that I took a shit in my niece's crib. 1400 01:10:29,445 --> 01:10:32,046 Twice, if you ask my sister-in-law. 1401 01:10:32,048 --> 01:10:33,379 So how long you been sober? 1402 01:10:33,381 --> 01:10:35,082 Oh, no, I'm not sober. 1403 01:10:35,084 --> 01:10:37,016 I'm high right now. I'm just here to tag my friend. 1404 01:10:37,018 --> 01:10:41,486 Good luck with the sobriety, man. That's cool. Definitely. 1405 01:10:41,488 --> 01:10:43,755 It's awful quiet in there. 1406 01:10:43,757 --> 01:10:45,724 You know what he's doing? It's a classic ruse. 1407 01:10:45,726 --> 01:10:47,292 Make 'em think there's an exit, 1408 01:10:47,294 --> 01:10:48,894 and that he already escaped. Not buying it. 1409 01:10:48,896 --> 01:10:50,929 I buy it. I bet he has a secret door back there. 1410 01:10:50,931 --> 01:10:52,931 Refrigerator turns into an elevator. 1411 01:10:52,933 --> 01:10:54,532 What? 1412 01:10:54,534 --> 01:10:56,434 Takes the elevator down to the basement. That's his lair. 1413 01:10:56,436 --> 01:10:58,268 - Different outfits, computer screens. - What are you talking about? 1414 01:10:58,270 --> 01:11:01,473 - Cameras watching us. - He's not Batman. 1415 01:11:03,408 --> 01:11:05,008 Told you. In there. 1416 01:11:05,010 --> 01:11:07,342 What's it say? 1417 01:11:07,344 --> 01:11:10,713 - "Eat my dick." - "Eat my dick." Balls. Ass? 1418 01:11:10,715 --> 01:11:11,814 Butt. 1419 01:11:11,816 --> 01:11:13,015 Ice cream. 1420 01:11:13,017 --> 01:11:14,683 - What? - What? 1421 01:11:14,685 --> 01:11:16,885 Yeah, he's taunting me. He knows I'm lactose intolerant. 1422 01:11:18,521 --> 01:11:21,355 What is going on? Where is he? 1423 01:11:21,357 --> 01:11:23,526 Where is he? 1424 01:11:29,331 --> 01:11:31,132 Jerry? 1425 01:11:31,134 --> 01:11:33,934 We're supposed to be getting our wedding photos done in an hour. 1426 01:11:33,936 --> 01:11:35,234 What are you doing? 1427 01:11:35,236 --> 01:11:37,204 - Come on out, Jerry. - Jerry, you could come out. 1428 01:11:37,206 --> 01:11:38,504 We're not gonna get you, Jerry. 1429 01:11:38,506 --> 01:11:40,073 Babe, look, calm down. Look, I'm sorry. 1430 01:11:40,075 --> 01:11:42,608 Shut up, Jerry. I can't fucking take this, Jerry. 1431 01:11:42,610 --> 01:11:44,043 She can't take it. Come on out. 1432 01:11:44,045 --> 01:11:46,011 Honey, why are you playing this game right now? 1433 01:11:46,013 --> 01:11:48,446 Why are you playing this game with your friends right now? 1434 01:11:48,448 --> 01:11:50,548 Why is he playing this game right now? 1435 01:11:50,550 --> 01:11:52,517 Hey, babe, look. You gotta calm down, okay? 1436 01:11:52,519 --> 01:11:54,418 Listen to me! It's very hard! 1437 01:11:54,420 --> 01:11:57,955 Because you have decided to ruin everything. 1438 01:11:57,957 --> 01:11:59,623 And so have you. 1439 01:11:59,625 --> 01:12:02,960 With your stupid face, and your stupid beard 1440 01:12:02,962 --> 01:12:04,594 and your stupid glasses 1441 01:12:04,596 --> 01:12:07,563 and that stupid jumpsuit. 1442 01:12:07,565 --> 01:12:09,599 There's only so much a girl can take 1443 01:12:09,601 --> 01:12:12,835 and then you want me, on top of that, just to... 1444 01:12:15,206 --> 01:12:16,838 Oh, my God. Are you okay? 1445 01:12:16,840 --> 01:12:20,441 - Babe? Suz? Sue? - Oh, God! Jerry. Oh, my God. 1446 01:12:20,443 --> 01:12:22,343 - Boo? Boo-boo? - Sue? 1447 01:12:22,345 --> 01:12:24,278 Boo-boo? Boo-boo? 1448 01:12:24,280 --> 01:12:25,780 - What happened? - Boo-boo? Boo-boo... 1449 01:12:25,782 --> 01:12:27,381 - Wait, wait. What happened? - Susan, are you okay? 1450 01:12:27,383 --> 01:12:29,382 - Sit down, sit down, sit down. - The baby. It's the baby. 1451 01:12:29,384 --> 01:12:31,118 It's finally happening. He's right here. Who's it? Bob, tag him. 1452 01:12:31,120 --> 01:12:32,418 - Are you kidding me? - What? 1453 01:12:32,420 --> 01:12:34,054 There's something wrong with her baby. 1454 01:12:34,056 --> 01:12:35,789 There's nothing wrong with that baby. It's a fake. 1455 01:12:35,791 --> 01:12:37,223 If you won't do it, then tag me. I'm gonna do it. 1456 01:12:37,225 --> 01:12:39,192 Oh, yeah. Fine. You want me to tag you, then? 1457 01:12:39,194 --> 01:12:40,592 Oops! I missed. 1458 01:12:40,594 --> 01:12:42,061 As usual, you're completely wrong. 1459 01:12:42,063 --> 01:12:44,329 This? You think I'm wrong? This is so over the top! 1460 01:12:44,331 --> 01:12:45,931 This is obvious. 1461 01:12:47,201 --> 01:12:49,134 Tag me and I'll give him a hug, and I'll say, 1462 01:12:49,136 --> 01:12:51,803 "If she's having a miscarriage, this is awful, and you're it." 1463 01:12:51,805 --> 01:12:53,504 Are you kidding me right now? 1464 01:12:53,506 --> 01:12:56,373 You know. This feels like a scene from What Would You Do? 1465 01:12:56,375 --> 01:12:58,810 You get put in a precarious situation 1466 01:12:58,812 --> 01:13:00,510 and you have to make the right decision. 1467 01:13:00,512 --> 01:13:01,945 It's all actors and cameras. 1468 01:13:01,947 --> 01:13:05,882 It's not great television, but it hooks me in. 1469 01:13:05,884 --> 01:13:06,817 What? 1470 01:13:06,819 --> 01:13:08,384 Come on. 1471 01:13:08,386 --> 01:13:11,086 All right, we're good. We're gonna get to the hospital. 1472 01:13:11,088 --> 01:13:15,257 Jesus. Hey! Jerry? Jerry, if you need anything I could easily... 1473 01:13:15,259 --> 01:13:17,092 You come near her or my baby, 1474 01:13:17,094 --> 01:13:18,962 I'll crush your windpipe, Bob. 1475 01:13:20,063 --> 01:13:21,731 This ain't no fucking game. 1476 01:13:26,203 --> 01:13:27,467 Uh... 1477 01:13:27,469 --> 01:13:29,136 I'm pretty sure it's real, guys. 1478 01:13:29,138 --> 01:13:32,306 I will be so pissed if she didn't have a miscarriage. 1479 01:13:32,308 --> 01:13:33,539 Chilli! 1480 01:13:33,541 --> 01:13:34,942 We all would be. 1481 01:13:34,944 --> 01:13:36,876 It's just a thing you don't say. 1482 01:13:36,878 --> 01:13:38,379 It's implied. 1483 01:13:58,264 --> 01:14:00,532 Hey, Linda. Namaste. 1484 01:14:02,400 --> 01:14:04,634 Shouldn't you boys be getting cleaned up for the wedding? 1485 01:14:04,636 --> 01:14:06,838 Not you, Chilli. You're perfect. 1486 01:14:07,405 --> 01:14:08,872 Thanks, Linda. 1487 01:14:08,874 --> 01:14:11,042 I don't think anybody's gonna be freshening up. 1488 01:14:14,112 --> 01:14:16,680 Hoagie, you can't go looking like that. 1489 01:14:19,283 --> 01:14:23,185 "To everyone askin', the wedding has been postponed. 1490 01:14:23,187 --> 01:14:25,453 "Thank you for your thoughts and prayers." 1491 01:14:25,455 --> 01:14:27,088 It's from Jerry's mom. 1492 01:14:27,090 --> 01:14:29,891 - What? Maybe we're bad people. - Maybe? 1493 01:14:29,893 --> 01:14:31,458 Yes, I think we definitely are. 1494 01:14:31,460 --> 01:14:32,926 We might be. 1495 01:14:32,928 --> 01:14:36,528 Tag used to be a thing that made me really happy. 1496 01:14:36,530 --> 01:14:39,765 But now, it's destroying me. I feel sad. 1497 01:14:39,767 --> 01:14:41,268 Shut the fuck up, Sable. 1498 01:14:41,270 --> 01:14:44,637 Has anyone seen the bridesmaids' Instagram stories? 1499 01:14:44,639 --> 01:14:47,772 - What? - Check it out. 1500 01:14:47,774 --> 01:14:51,509 "Wedding's canceled. Sad face emoji. 1501 01:14:51,511 --> 01:14:54,444 "I can't wear the dress. Such a pretty dress. 1502 01:14:54,446 --> 01:14:56,214 "So sad. Goodbye emoji." 1503 01:14:56,216 --> 01:14:59,850 Really? Is there any chance that all these women could post banal 1504 01:14:59,852 --> 01:15:02,119 minute-by-minute moments from their day, 1505 01:15:02,121 --> 01:15:04,420 with mind-numbing captions at the same time? 1506 01:15:04,422 --> 01:15:06,489 - Totally. - Absolutely. That's all Instagram is. 1507 01:15:06,491 --> 01:15:08,791 I don't know about this, guys. I just... 1508 01:15:08,793 --> 01:15:10,293 It doesn't feel right. 1509 01:15:10,295 --> 01:15:12,395 I smell a rat. 1510 01:15:12,397 --> 01:15:14,096 That's what I've been saying. I have been actually saying this the whole time. 1511 01:15:14,099 --> 01:15:17,666 Hey, sweetheart, can we just move on? It's over. 1512 01:15:17,668 --> 01:15:19,801 But it's not. Now, come on, guys. 1513 01:15:19,803 --> 01:15:21,202 I'm gonna get to the bottom of this. 1514 01:15:21,204 --> 01:15:22,904 - Bob. - What'd I do? 1515 01:15:22,906 --> 01:15:24,505 Can I take a photograph of you? 1516 01:15:24,507 --> 01:15:26,774 - No. Okay. - Cute. 1517 01:15:26,776 --> 01:15:28,342 I'm gonna set up an Instagram account for you. 1518 01:15:28,344 --> 01:15:29,610 Please don't. 1519 01:15:29,612 --> 01:15:30,811 Rachel Ditmus is the only bridesmaid 1520 01:15:30,813 --> 01:15:32,645 with a private Instagram account. 1521 01:15:32,647 --> 01:15:34,747 She's been wanting you to finger bang her since the sixth grade. 1522 01:15:34,749 --> 01:15:39,719 If anybody's stupid enough to fall for our request, it will be that dum-dum. 1523 01:15:41,122 --> 01:15:43,488 And sent. All we've gotta do now is wait. 1524 01:15:43,490 --> 01:15:45,791 And accepted! 1525 01:15:45,793 --> 01:15:47,526 - Really? - That was weirdly fast. 1526 01:15:47,528 --> 01:15:49,127 Do not finger bang her. 1527 01:15:49,129 --> 01:15:51,595 Oh, my God. I was right. 1528 01:15:51,597 --> 01:15:53,998 - What? What are we looking at here? - What the hell is this? 1529 01:15:54,000 --> 01:15:55,400 A wedding dress. 1530 01:15:55,402 --> 01:15:56,701 What the fuck? 1531 01:15:56,703 --> 01:15:58,535 They faked the fucking miscarriage! 1532 01:15:58,537 --> 01:16:00,637 No, no. Jerry's going down. We're gonna destroy that wedding. 1533 01:16:00,639 --> 01:16:03,441 - Let's go! - This is bullshit. That is so fucked up. 1534 01:16:07,412 --> 01:16:08,612 Hoagie? 1535 01:16:10,781 --> 01:16:12,415 Hoagie, what are you doing? 1536 01:16:12,417 --> 01:16:14,249 Damn it! 1537 01:16:14,251 --> 01:16:15,718 - Sweetie. - Hoagie? 1538 01:16:15,720 --> 01:16:17,188 Be careful. 1539 01:16:18,155 --> 01:16:19,554 Should we stop him, or... 1540 01:16:19,556 --> 01:16:22,759 I'm not getting near him. He's swinging that bat around. 1541 01:16:24,461 --> 01:16:27,230 - Sweetie, that's your mom's. - Yeah, you're gonna hurt yourself. 1542 01:16:34,870 --> 01:16:41,142 We lost! He beat us! The game is over! 1543 01:16:42,310 --> 01:16:44,809 We can't tag Jerry. 1544 01:16:44,811 --> 01:16:49,147 It's just time for us to come to terms with that. He's untouchable, that's it. 1545 01:16:49,149 --> 01:16:51,082 What do you wanna do? You wanna just give up? 1546 01:16:51,084 --> 01:16:53,717 Yeah, Bob. I wanna give up. It's time to give up. 1547 01:16:53,719 --> 01:16:55,420 Come on, Hogan. You're not a quitter. 1548 01:16:55,422 --> 01:16:57,054 What's the alternative? 1549 01:16:57,056 --> 01:17:00,357 We go to the wedding, we try to tag him, we fail 1550 01:17:00,359 --> 01:17:01,759 and we fuck up the wedding? 1551 01:17:01,761 --> 01:17:03,360 That's not a cool move. That's a dick move. 1552 01:17:03,362 --> 01:17:05,129 That's not what friends do. That's what assholes do. 1553 01:17:05,131 --> 01:17:08,231 Hoagie! He faked a fucking miscarriage. 1554 01:17:08,233 --> 01:17:11,401 This is a miscarriage of justice. 1555 01:17:11,403 --> 01:17:12,801 This is where we get him. 1556 01:17:12,803 --> 01:17:14,669 He deserves to pay for that. 1557 01:17:14,671 --> 01:17:17,473 Even if we wanted to do that, we all signed an amendment. 1558 01:17:17,475 --> 01:17:20,808 Amendments are null and void if you fake a miscarriage. 1559 01:17:20,810 --> 01:17:22,377 That's just basic contract law. 1560 01:17:22,379 --> 01:17:24,379 - That's law. Basic contract law. - Law. 1561 01:17:24,381 --> 01:17:25,780 Like he said. 1562 01:17:25,782 --> 01:17:26,914 - I literally, said exactly that. - I know. 1563 01:17:26,916 --> 01:17:28,816 We're saying it together. 1564 01:17:28,818 --> 01:17:31,452 But I was also right earlier, because I said the miscarriage was fake. 1565 01:17:31,454 --> 01:17:36,056 The amendment stands, and maybe that's a good thing. 1566 01:17:36,058 --> 01:17:39,194 Maybe it's time to grow up a little. 1567 01:17:39,927 --> 01:17:41,827 I'm going to the wedding 1568 01:17:41,829 --> 01:17:46,664 and you guys can do what you want. I hope you come, too. 1569 01:17:46,666 --> 01:17:48,902 Chilli, just put on a tie. 1570 01:17:52,172 --> 01:17:53,206 Sweetie. 1571 01:17:56,742 --> 01:17:58,142 Do you even have a tie? 1572 01:17:58,144 --> 01:17:59,609 Yes, I have a tie. 1573 01:17:59,611 --> 01:18:01,211 - Do you need to borrow a tie? - Yes, I need to borrow a tie. 1574 01:18:01,213 --> 01:18:02,214 Okay. 1575 01:18:44,052 --> 01:18:47,385 Hi! I'm so glad you made it! 1576 01:18:47,387 --> 01:18:48,854 Is that champagne? 1577 01:18:48,856 --> 01:18:51,089 I know. Ugh... 1578 01:18:51,091 --> 01:18:52,990 I'm the girl who cried miscarriage. 1579 01:18:52,992 --> 01:18:54,992 But I had to get him out of that room 1580 01:18:54,994 --> 01:18:56,727 and distract you for a couple of hours 1581 01:18:56,729 --> 01:18:58,362 so that the amendment could kick in. 1582 01:18:58,364 --> 01:18:59,964 Okay. Are you even pregnant? 1583 01:18:59,966 --> 01:19:02,632 - No, I was never pregnant. - You were never pregnant? 1584 01:19:02,634 --> 01:19:04,502 - Whoa. - Wow. 1585 01:19:04,504 --> 01:19:07,370 Just listen. Jerry knew that you guys might get the drop on him 1586 01:19:07,372 --> 01:19:10,373 so "Operation Miscarriage" was our fail-safe. 1587 01:19:10,375 --> 01:19:12,774 - It was an operation? - It was actually my idea. 1588 01:19:12,776 --> 01:19:14,643 - Brilliant. Brilliant! - Aw, thanks. 1589 01:19:14,645 --> 01:19:16,311 That's diabolical. 1590 01:19:16,313 --> 01:19:18,679 Everyone's just pissed because you won, and they're boys, 1591 01:19:18,681 --> 01:19:22,150 they can't get pregnant. So they can't fake a miscarriage. 1592 01:19:22,152 --> 01:19:23,784 It's true. 1593 01:19:23,786 --> 01:19:26,487 Look, I'm not saying I want you to have a miscarriage. 1594 01:19:26,489 --> 01:19:28,422 Then don't. 1595 01:19:28,424 --> 01:19:30,790 'Cause that would be terrible. But if you ever do have a miscarriage, 1596 01:19:30,792 --> 01:19:32,593 I don't wanna say that you would deserve it 1597 01:19:32,595 --> 01:19:36,029 'cause that's too far, but what I will say and what I do feel 1598 01:19:36,031 --> 01:19:38,398 - is that's what you get. - Uh... 1599 01:19:38,400 --> 01:19:41,834 Okay. It's fine. We can all have different feelings. 1600 01:19:41,836 --> 01:19:44,236 But it's our wedding day, you guys. Come on. 1601 01:19:44,238 --> 01:19:46,539 And we came up with this great amendment 1602 01:19:46,541 --> 01:19:51,876 so that we could all enjoy this day together and have fun and relax. 1603 01:19:51,878 --> 01:19:53,311 Are we cool? 1604 01:19:53,313 --> 01:19:55,613 - Yeah, I guess so. - Not yet. 1605 01:19:55,615 --> 01:20:00,417 Sorry. Not cool yet. It's just, you did murder a child. 1606 01:20:00,419 --> 01:20:02,386 - No. - She didn't. No, it was a fake miscarriage. 1607 01:20:02,388 --> 01:20:05,455 Yeah, not the imaginary child that was inside of you 1608 01:20:05,457 --> 01:20:09,593 but the actual inner child that lives inside of me. 1609 01:20:09,595 --> 01:20:11,427 Got decapitated. 1610 01:20:11,429 --> 01:20:15,565 Head flew up, did flips in the air, blood spurting everywhere. 1611 01:20:15,567 --> 01:20:19,067 Hoagie, Jerry has a perfect record 1612 01:20:19,069 --> 01:20:21,203 and we're a team now. 1613 01:20:21,205 --> 01:20:22,504 The winning team. 1614 01:20:22,506 --> 01:20:25,239 And I just feel like, Hoagie, if you're gonna play 1615 01:20:25,241 --> 01:20:28,643 a children's game as a grown man, 1616 01:20:28,645 --> 01:20:31,380 maybe next time don't play like a child. 1617 01:20:33,282 --> 01:20:37,083 Anyways, I am really excited you guys are here. 1618 01:20:37,085 --> 01:20:40,019 Try the raw bar. It's off the hook. 1619 01:20:40,021 --> 01:20:42,087 It's my wedding! I'm getting married! 1620 01:20:42,089 --> 01:20:44,858 - Congratulations. - Come on! Grab it! 1621 01:20:49,363 --> 01:20:53,064 I take back everything I said about her being effervescent. 1622 01:20:53,066 --> 01:20:55,066 I met Jerry in AA. 1623 01:20:55,068 --> 01:20:58,069 You see, people, I got a lot of problems. 1624 01:20:58,071 --> 01:21:03,373 Anger issues, I left my wife, I have many kids. 1625 01:21:03,375 --> 01:21:06,842 And this man got me to turn to the cloth. 1626 01:21:06,844 --> 01:21:08,811 It was a low point in my life. 1627 01:21:08,813 --> 01:21:10,946 There was jail time involved. 1628 01:21:10,948 --> 01:21:13,382 I briefly converted to Islam. 1629 01:21:13,384 --> 01:21:17,720 I lost a long legal battle with Jo-Ann Fabrics. 1630 01:21:17,722 --> 01:21:21,256 During that time I got to know Jerry and Susan as a couple. 1631 01:21:21,258 --> 01:21:22,857 And that is a true blessing. 1632 01:21:22,859 --> 01:21:25,627 What's the difference between Episcopalian and Lutheran? 1633 01:21:25,629 --> 01:21:28,895 Episcopalians don't eat fish. 1634 01:21:28,897 --> 01:21:32,766 That's pescatarian. That's not a religion. 1635 01:21:32,768 --> 01:21:35,103 They're all fanatics. I don't know. 1636 01:21:35,105 --> 01:21:36,637 Remind me again, is it on the kiss 1637 01:21:36,639 --> 01:21:38,337 or after they walk back down the aisle? 1638 01:21:38,339 --> 01:21:41,040 Seriously? You said you'd worked weddings before. 1639 01:21:41,042 --> 01:21:43,376 The kiss, the doves, end of ceremony, 1640 01:21:43,378 --> 01:21:45,112 the groom was very specific about this. 1641 01:21:45,114 --> 01:21:47,713 ...and finds new ways of expressing love 1642 01:21:47,715 --> 01:21:50,982 through the ups and downs of life. 1643 01:21:50,984 --> 01:21:55,052 Susan, do you take Jerry to be your husband? 1644 01:21:55,054 --> 01:21:57,555 Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect him, 1645 01:21:57,557 --> 01:22:01,860 forsaking all others, holding only to him, forever more? 1646 01:22:02,495 --> 01:22:03,694 I do. 1647 01:22:03,696 --> 01:22:04,961 Beautiful. 1648 01:22:04,963 --> 01:22:06,863 There's gonna be a window. 1649 01:22:06,865 --> 01:22:08,933 - What, sweetie? - The doves. 1650 01:22:09,634 --> 01:22:11,134 What about the doves? 1651 01:22:11,136 --> 01:22:13,369 There's an opening. 1652 01:22:13,371 --> 01:22:15,638 Just relax, honey. 1653 01:22:15,640 --> 01:22:17,474 You seem stressed. 1654 01:22:18,475 --> 01:22:22,210 Jerry, do you take Susan to be your wife? 1655 01:22:22,212 --> 01:22:25,313 Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect her, 1656 01:22:25,315 --> 01:22:29,916 forsaking all others, holding only to her, forever more? 1657 01:22:29,918 --> 01:22:31,218 I do. 1658 01:22:31,220 --> 01:22:33,019 I mean, this is actually kind of beautiful. 1659 01:22:33,021 --> 01:22:34,622 It really is, man. 1660 01:22:34,624 --> 01:22:38,060 I now pronounce you husband and wife. 1661 01:22:39,227 --> 01:22:41,363 You may kiss the bride. 1662 01:23:28,437 --> 01:23:30,270 - Hoagie! - Go, go, go! 1663 01:23:30,272 --> 01:23:32,606 - Oh, God! Guys, go! - Hoagie! You okay? 1664 01:23:32,608 --> 01:23:34,042 Jesus. 1665 01:23:34,510 --> 01:23:35,875 Hey, man. 1666 01:23:35,877 --> 01:23:37,076 Buddy? 1667 01:23:37,078 --> 01:23:39,612 - You scared away the swans. - Hoagie? 1668 01:23:39,614 --> 01:23:41,247 - Hogan? Hogan. - Hoagie! 1669 01:23:41,249 --> 01:23:43,716 I can't believe that you guys did this. Right now. 1670 01:23:43,718 --> 01:23:47,119 Well, I don't think you get to claim the moral high ground over us, actually. 1671 01:23:47,121 --> 01:23:48,855 Yeah, you're not better than us. 1672 01:23:48,857 --> 01:23:50,322 You and your wife pretended to have a goddamn miscarriage... 1673 01:23:50,324 --> 01:23:52,224 Misunderstanding! Misunderstanding. 1674 01:23:52,226 --> 01:23:54,925 - Misunderstanding. - In her vagina. 1675 01:23:54,927 --> 01:23:56,260 Wow. Oh, boy. 1676 01:23:56,262 --> 01:23:57,928 Guys, call a doctor! 1677 01:23:57,930 --> 01:23:59,563 - Can you hear me? - Buddy? 1678 01:23:59,565 --> 01:24:01,399 - Hey! - Somebody get a doctor! 1679 01:24:01,401 --> 01:24:04,033 - Bud? - He's gone full loss of consciousness. 1680 01:24:04,035 --> 01:24:05,836 That's impressive. 1681 01:24:05,838 --> 01:24:09,205 - Even better than your performance. Right? - I know! It's so good! 1682 01:24:09,207 --> 01:24:11,674 Excuse me, everyone, 1683 01:24:11,676 --> 01:24:13,242 everything's fine. 1684 01:24:13,244 --> 01:24:15,246 Uh... This is all just a game. 1685 01:24:18,082 --> 01:24:19,947 He's still unconscious, but he's stable. 1686 01:24:19,949 --> 01:24:22,684 He really should never have been this active given his condition. 1687 01:24:22,686 --> 01:24:25,455 - You can see him when he wakes up. - Thanks. 1688 01:24:26,656 --> 01:24:28,121 I got this. 1689 01:24:28,123 --> 01:24:30,924 Excuse me, Doctor. Hey, how are ya? 1690 01:24:30,926 --> 01:24:34,394 - Yeah. - Dr. Yoon, is it? 1691 01:24:34,396 --> 01:24:36,229 - Yes. - How do you spell that? 1692 01:24:36,231 --> 01:24:39,599 - You're looking right at it. - I know, but I'm just asking you. 1693 01:24:39,601 --> 01:24:41,500 What exactly are you asking me? 1694 01:24:41,502 --> 01:24:44,104 My friends and I do this thing, it's this really weird game. 1695 01:24:44,106 --> 01:24:46,772 Is there any chance this is all fake, that you could just tell me. 1696 01:24:46,774 --> 01:24:48,774 I won't tell the others. 1697 01:24:48,776 --> 01:24:50,442 Is this fake? 1698 01:24:50,444 --> 01:24:52,410 - This hospital? - The whole thing, yeah. Is it fake? 1699 01:24:52,412 --> 01:24:54,179 That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. 1700 01:24:54,181 --> 01:24:56,046 He told you to say that, right? 1701 01:24:56,048 --> 01:24:58,449 - Look, I gotta prep a surgery. - Will you just do me one quick favor? 1702 01:24:58,451 --> 01:25:00,584 Could you recite the Hippocratic Oath for me? 1703 01:25:00,586 --> 01:25:02,721 That's not a thing doctors memorize. 1704 01:25:05,458 --> 01:25:07,156 Still unsure. 1705 01:25:07,158 --> 01:25:09,392 It's gonna be fine. It's just, it was a lot. 1706 01:25:09,394 --> 01:25:11,861 How does that all happen at a wedding? 1707 01:25:11,863 --> 01:25:13,063 Hey, boss. 1708 01:25:13,631 --> 01:25:14,764 How did that go? 1709 01:25:14,766 --> 01:25:16,131 I'm all turned around. 1710 01:25:16,133 --> 01:25:18,033 About what? 1711 01:25:18,035 --> 01:25:19,801 If he's an actor or if he's not. 1712 01:25:19,803 --> 01:25:23,307 He's not. He's a doctor. We're in a hospital. 1713 01:25:24,273 --> 01:25:26,710 You're drinking the Kool-Aid. 1714 01:25:33,381 --> 01:25:35,749 All right. What do we do? 1715 01:25:35,751 --> 01:25:38,651 Look, Chilli, what's wrong with you? Just go talk to the girl. 1716 01:25:38,653 --> 01:25:40,018 Could be a trap. 1717 01:25:40,020 --> 01:25:42,956 She's here for a friend who is in the hospital. Okay? 1718 01:25:42,958 --> 01:25:44,623 You know I'm right. I'm always right. 1719 01:25:44,625 --> 01:25:47,493 Okay, you're right about this, but you are not always right. 1720 01:25:47,495 --> 01:25:50,127 - Buddy, I'm always right, and you know that it's true. - Bob, you're not always right. 1721 01:25:50,129 --> 01:25:51,797 - 100%... - 1989. 1722 01:25:51,799 --> 01:25:53,431 Oh, come on. 1723 01:25:53,433 --> 01:25:55,266 Ken Griffey, Jr. enters the league, and what do you say? 1724 01:25:55,268 --> 01:25:56,834 He will never be as good as his father. 1725 01:25:56,836 --> 01:25:58,169 And he's better than his father. 1726 01:25:58,171 --> 01:26:00,370 - Where are the rings? - You are so wrong! 1727 01:26:00,372 --> 01:26:03,206 The historical record has proven that I am right. 1728 01:26:03,208 --> 01:26:05,442 You know what? Time will tell. 1729 01:26:05,444 --> 01:26:09,713 You will never admit that you are wrong about anything. 1730 01:26:09,715 --> 01:26:11,781 Come on, it's been a while since we've done this. 1731 01:26:11,783 --> 01:26:14,016 Come here, man. 1732 01:26:14,018 --> 01:26:15,451 This was a fun few days, man. 1733 01:26:15,453 --> 01:26:17,686 - I really missed you. - I missed you, too, man. 1734 01:26:17,688 --> 01:26:20,021 - You want a breath mint? - No, I don't want a breath mint. 1735 01:26:20,023 --> 01:26:21,824 - Stop it. - You want a breath mint? 1736 01:26:21,826 --> 01:26:24,528 I would love a breath mint. I got a gross taste in my mouth. 1737 01:26:31,233 --> 01:26:32,866 Hey, mind if I sit? 1738 01:26:32,868 --> 01:26:34,068 No. 1739 01:26:36,105 --> 01:26:38,005 Thanks for coming. 1740 01:26:38,007 --> 01:26:40,642 - I hope he's okay. - Yeah, me, too. 1741 01:26:44,546 --> 01:26:45,747 Um... 1742 01:26:51,919 --> 01:26:55,720 I don't know if that... We're in a hospital and... 1743 01:26:55,722 --> 01:26:57,154 - You know? - Yes. 1744 01:26:57,156 --> 01:26:59,890 My friend is possibly dying. 1745 01:26:59,892 --> 01:27:04,193 But it feels like a time I need to tell you how I feel about you 1746 01:27:04,195 --> 01:27:07,297 and I am so pumped that your husband's dead. 1747 01:27:07,299 --> 01:27:09,299 - No. - No. 1748 01:27:09,301 --> 01:27:12,136 But I'm really happy to see you, Cheryl. 1749 01:27:13,672 --> 01:27:16,738 You are broke and divorced and, 1750 01:27:16,740 --> 01:27:19,508 - just a fucking mess, really. - Yeah. 1751 01:27:19,510 --> 01:27:21,309 But it's fun to see you, too. 1752 01:27:21,311 --> 01:27:23,311 Good. All right. I'll take that. 1753 01:27:23,313 --> 01:27:26,647 I actually think that... 1754 01:27:26,649 --> 01:27:30,118 I can't believe I'm saying this, but I would see you again. 1755 01:27:30,887 --> 01:27:32,552 - For real? - Yeah. 1756 01:27:32,554 --> 01:27:34,688 - Like a little date. - No, definitely didn't say that. 1757 01:27:34,690 --> 01:27:37,257 - Like a dinner. - Smaller than that. 1758 01:27:37,259 --> 01:27:39,428 - Like a lunch. - How about a snack? 1759 01:27:40,361 --> 01:27:42,461 I'll take what I can get. 1760 01:27:42,463 --> 01:27:46,131 Hoagie, I know you're fucking with me. 1761 01:27:46,133 --> 01:27:52,205 I'm not. I've got a tumor on my liver the size of my right nut. 1762 01:27:54,174 --> 01:27:55,875 Jesus. 1763 01:27:56,610 --> 01:27:58,241 Yeah. 1764 01:27:58,243 --> 01:28:00,477 I know you're fucking with him but what are you doing? What's the plan? 1765 01:28:00,479 --> 01:28:03,413 - Tell us what's going on. - Chilli, there's no plan. 1766 01:28:03,415 --> 01:28:06,450 - What's going on? - There's no plan, Chilli. 1767 01:28:06,452 --> 01:28:08,085 Stop winking at me. 1768 01:28:08,087 --> 01:28:09,786 Think it's real. This looks like it's doing something. 1769 01:28:09,788 --> 01:28:12,254 Something real is happening on this thing right here. 1770 01:28:12,256 --> 01:28:13,823 How long have you known this? 1771 01:28:13,825 --> 01:28:15,123 For three weeks. 1772 01:28:15,125 --> 01:28:16,592 Three weeks. 1773 01:28:16,594 --> 01:28:20,195 Right nut. Too specific, I call bullshit. 1774 01:28:20,197 --> 01:28:22,230 That's a lie. Right? It's a lie. 1775 01:28:22,232 --> 01:28:23,465 I'm not lying. 1776 01:28:23,467 --> 01:28:26,968 Although I did lie about one thing. 1777 01:28:26,970 --> 01:28:29,303 Jerry's not quitting at the end of the season. 1778 01:28:29,305 --> 01:28:31,138 What? Why the fuck would I quit? 1779 01:28:31,140 --> 01:28:32,673 Yeah, I said that 1780 01:28:32,675 --> 01:28:35,676 to get everyone together, you know, for one last round. 1781 01:28:35,678 --> 01:28:38,878 Hoagie, tell me you are fucking joking about this. 1782 01:28:38,880 --> 01:28:40,880 Uh... No. 1783 01:28:40,882 --> 01:28:47,454 There is a decent chance I will not be around for next season. 1784 01:28:56,130 --> 01:28:57,330 Damn. 1785 01:28:59,432 --> 01:29:02,532 And, I mean, plus, even if you were, you'd be, 1786 01:29:02,534 --> 01:29:05,368 - you know. Really slow. - Yeah. 1787 01:29:05,370 --> 01:29:06,970 A total sitting duck. 1788 01:29:06,972 --> 01:29:09,639 Carrying an IV bag around, that's easy... 1789 01:29:09,641 --> 01:29:11,373 I had an uncle that went through chemo, 1790 01:29:11,375 --> 01:29:13,342 and afterwards, he was terrible at games. 1791 01:29:13,344 --> 01:29:17,279 But I guess that makes sense. It would be weird if he got better. 1792 01:29:17,281 --> 01:29:18,947 Then everybody would be getting chemo. 1793 01:29:21,952 --> 01:29:24,220 I love you guys. 1794 01:29:25,321 --> 01:29:28,556 Love, I love this game. You know? 1795 01:29:28,558 --> 01:29:32,428 I don't know what it is. It brings out the best in us. 1796 01:29:34,029 --> 01:29:35,829 Except today. 1797 01:29:35,831 --> 01:29:38,999 Today, I don't know. 1798 01:29:39,001 --> 01:29:43,771 I really fucked up your wedding, Jerry, and I am super sorry. 1799 01:29:44,972 --> 01:29:46,505 Jerry? 1800 01:29:46,507 --> 01:29:49,911 - Has he... Has he hung up? - Jerry? 1801 01:29:53,947 --> 01:29:57,751 You didn't fuck up my wedding, Hoagie. Come on. 1802 01:29:58,952 --> 01:30:00,651 - Right? - No. 1803 01:30:00,653 --> 01:30:02,986 You might have ruined a moment. But... 1804 01:30:02,988 --> 01:30:06,355 I screwed it up. You should've been up there with me. 1805 01:30:06,357 --> 01:30:08,192 All you boys should've. 1806 01:30:08,194 --> 01:30:09,759 That's my fault. 1807 01:30:09,761 --> 01:30:11,694 I always thought that you guys were 1808 01:30:11,696 --> 01:30:13,663 just much closer to each other than to me. So... 1809 01:30:13,665 --> 01:30:14,731 What? 1810 01:30:14,733 --> 01:30:16,732 I mean, if it seems like we were closer, 1811 01:30:16,734 --> 01:30:19,601 it's only because we're physically closer 1812 01:30:19,603 --> 01:30:21,104 because you always ran away. 1813 01:30:21,106 --> 01:30:22,637 Successfully. You know, I mean, 1814 01:30:22,639 --> 01:30:24,773 not for nothing, you might actually be 1815 01:30:24,775 --> 01:30:27,341 the very best person at this game on the planet. 1816 01:30:27,343 --> 01:30:29,443 He might be, right? 1817 01:30:29,445 --> 01:30:32,312 Yeah, you're really good at tag. 1818 01:30:32,314 --> 01:30:35,248 Yes, but you've kinda missed the point. 1819 01:30:35,250 --> 01:30:38,585 I mean, it's not about trying to get away from each other. 1820 01:30:38,587 --> 01:30:40,553 It's actually about 1821 01:30:40,555 --> 01:30:43,823 having a reason to be around each other. You know? 1822 01:30:43,825 --> 01:30:45,225 Yeah. 1823 01:30:45,227 --> 01:30:47,826 I mean, Ben Franklin said it best. Am I right? 1824 01:30:47,828 --> 01:30:49,862 "We don't stop playing 'cause we grow old..." 1825 01:30:49,864 --> 01:30:52,064 "We grow old because we stop playing." 1826 01:30:52,066 --> 01:30:54,732 I been wanting to say for a few years, that quote is not Benjamin Franklin. 1827 01:30:54,734 --> 01:30:57,435 That is German anthropologist Karl Groos. 1828 01:30:57,437 --> 01:30:58,903 Why are you ruining the moment? 1829 01:30:58,905 --> 01:31:00,838 - I don't wanna know that. - He's in the hospital. 1830 01:31:00,840 --> 01:31:02,506 - It felt like the right moment. - It's not the right moment. 1831 01:31:02,508 --> 01:31:03,473 - It is the right moment. - It isn't. 1832 01:31:03,475 --> 01:31:05,010 So, Jerry... 1833 01:31:08,446 --> 01:31:09,813 It's 11:55. 1834 01:31:09,815 --> 01:31:12,550 Get in here, and let me tag you. 1835 01:31:16,854 --> 01:31:18,721 You know, I've been so attached, I suppose, 1836 01:31:18,723 --> 01:31:20,555 to my perfect record all these years, 1837 01:31:20,557 --> 01:31:22,390 dominating you fools. 1838 01:31:22,392 --> 01:31:25,193 Maybe I should. Maybe I shouldn't. 1839 01:31:25,195 --> 01:31:28,963 If you think about it, Jerry is a tag virgin. 1840 01:31:28,965 --> 01:31:30,265 Or champion. 1841 01:31:30,267 --> 01:31:32,267 Just let us deflower you. 1842 01:31:32,269 --> 01:31:33,769 We'll be gentle. 1843 01:31:34,770 --> 01:31:35,771 I can't. 1844 01:31:37,672 --> 01:31:38,673 Come on. 1845 01:31:40,176 --> 01:31:41,774 I can't do it. 1846 01:31:41,776 --> 01:31:45,443 Then I'm not gonna tag anybody and the game ends with me. 1847 01:31:45,445 --> 01:31:46,578 That's dark. 1848 01:31:46,580 --> 01:31:49,050 Or, just let me tag you. 1849 01:31:51,351 --> 01:31:53,086 All right, fuck it. 1850 01:31:59,159 --> 01:32:00,524 - It! - Oh, my God! 1851 01:32:00,526 --> 01:32:02,026 Loser! Loser! 1852 01:32:02,028 --> 01:32:03,461 You suck! 1853 01:32:04,063 --> 01:32:06,529 Awesome. 1854 01:32:06,531 --> 01:32:09,332 - Yes! - You officially suck. 1855 01:32:09,334 --> 01:32:10,567 Aw, you're so it! 1856 01:32:10,569 --> 01:32:12,904 Goddamn! All right! 1857 01:32:14,973 --> 01:32:17,039 I love you guys. 1858 01:32:17,041 --> 01:32:18,442 Love you too, man. 1859 01:32:22,012 --> 01:32:26,614 You know we got five minutes left of May. 1860 01:32:26,616 --> 01:32:29,384 I ain't gonna be last it. Bitches! 1861 01:32:47,969 --> 01:32:49,301 Look, Bob! Where are you gonna go, Bob? 1862 01:32:49,303 --> 01:32:50,737 No! 1863 01:32:56,142 --> 01:32:58,912 Verbal amendment? That women should be playing. 1864 01:33:00,379 --> 01:33:02,781 - Amendment. - Yeah, amendment. 1865 01:33:04,817 --> 01:33:07,251 Oh, you just made a big mistake. 1866 01:33:08,419 --> 01:33:11,053 - You're it, bitch! - You're it now! 1867 01:33:11,055 --> 01:33:12,555 - You're going down! - You're too intense! 1868 01:33:12,557 --> 01:33:14,824 You're gonna suck my tiny ginger balls. 1869 01:33:14,826 --> 01:33:16,225 Gross! 1870 01:33:16,227 --> 01:33:17,459 You're gross! 1871 01:33:28,238 --> 01:33:29,805 Come on! Shit! No. 1872 01:33:35,144 --> 01:33:37,344 - You're it. - No, I can't get involved in the story. 1873 01:33:37,346 --> 01:33:38,678 We made an amendment! 1874 01:33:38,680 --> 01:33:40,313 Come on, it's a little bit fun right? 1875 01:33:40,315 --> 01:33:41,650 You have about three minutes. 1876 01:33:54,928 --> 01:33:59,163 Sable! Come on. Where are your ethics, buddy? 1877 01:33:59,165 --> 01:34:01,132 Come on. Just reach out. 1878 01:34:01,134 --> 01:34:03,533 - No! - You got it. 1879 01:34:03,535 --> 01:34:04,668 Oh, shit, hang on a second. 1880 01:34:04,670 --> 01:34:05,969 You okay? 1881 01:34:05,971 --> 01:34:07,839 - You all right? - Yeah. 1882 01:34:09,641 --> 01:34:10,943 You're it! 1883 01:34:48,110 --> 01:34:49,609 Tag, brother! 1884 01:34:52,380 --> 01:34:54,545 You're it! 1885 01:34:54,547 --> 01:34:57,182 - I'm it? - You're it? 1886 01:34:57,184 --> 01:34:58,549 Now you're it. 1887 01:34:58,551 --> 01:35:01,520 You got me. No way! 1888 01:35:03,488 --> 01:35:05,992 - Not bad, huh? Pretty hot? - Wow. 1889 01:35:16,533 --> 01:35:17,899 You're it! 1890 01:35:21,305 --> 01:35:22,740 Yeah, baby. 1891 01:35:24,208 --> 01:35:26,408 Hey, fucker. You're it! 1892 01:35:29,045 --> 01:35:30,847 You're it! Yeah! 1893 01:35:32,048 --> 01:35:33,582 You're it, baby! 1894 01:40:02,021 --> 01:40:03,889 - You're it. - Fucker! 1895 01:40:03,891 --> 01:40:08,896 Re-Sync & Improved By: FidelPerez Sub Upload Date: August 12, 2018144972