All language subtitles for If.I.Were.Rich.Man.2019.1080p.BluRay.x264.AAC5.1-[YTS.MX]

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Good morning.

-Morning, officer.
-Look, you know you can't park here.

-I'm a port worker.
-worker?

Then you must have ID.

It's being laminated.

Laminated, right. I see.

-Nice day, huh?
-Yup, very nice.

-You're half an hour late, kid.
-I know, I'm sorry.

I have plenty of time.
If you're busy, I can stay...

No, that's okay.
You can leave after you clean up.

I won't need you anymore this autumn.

-But it's September.
-So?

-I know what month it is, Sandro.
-Santi.

I have your money.
You can keep the change.

One thing.

-The bathrooms are full, right, girls?
-Yes. very.

Would you mind emptying them?

Gross!

Damn it...

No!

No, no, no... I can't believe it...

IF I WERE RICH

I can't give you any more.
The boss is pissed.

You say that like I come every week.

Well? Coming to the class reunion?

-I think even Fatass is coming.
-what?

-He came back from the US.
-Fatass is coming?

-Damn!
-Remember how he ate?

He ate in his sleep.
People don't eat right.

Fatass has a textbook eating disorder,
believe me.

Right.

Pedro, I don't think I'm going.

I have an appointment with Maite
and the lawyer.

-Problems?
-I'm okay.

-Yeah?
-I'm great. Yeah.

You can't go like that. Here, wear this.

Okay, then. Here's the thing.

Since you agreed to share assets
when you married,

you're supposed to split everything
50 percent.

Besides the house, we don't have much.
we live day to day.

That simplifies things.

-Well, there's Santi's van.
-what?

-I have to sell the van?
-No, no, no.

Don't worry, I won't come between you two.

-No, no. I'll sell the van too.
-No, no, no.

-I didn't say anything about the van.
-Yes, you did.

-No, I didn't.
-Yes, you did.

-I didn't say van.
-You said van.

-Did I say van?
-Did she?

Let's continue.
Given your financial situation,

my advice is to keep sharing the house
until things get better.

Share the house?

But then why are we getting divorced?
I can't remake my life that way.

You're remaking your life?

No, Santi.

In any case, it's none of your business.

Because you don't want it to be, Maite.

-When will the divorce be valid?
-That happens quickly.

The paperwork usually takes
two or three months.

-Two or three months?
-Okay.

I don't have to put up with this.

Santi, please, listen.

We can live together
until you find a job, okay?

Okay, I'll do it for you.

Want to get some dinner?

I was planning on going to the party.
You're not up for it?

That's why you look so pretty.

Are you meeting someone?

-I'm going alone.
-Right.

Anyway...

She won't be back!

-You think it's funny?
-No.

I'm laughing because
it's good for my heart.

Come here, kid. Let me get this straight.

-She's leaving you because you're a homo?
-Excuse me?

Sorry, son, but you look like a homo.

-Thanks for cheering me up.
-You're welcome.

Hey, you can also buy the Superloto.

-What are my chances of winning?
-The same as of her coming back to you.

Then give me one.

My first time.

That's what I told my husband
on my wedding night.

Thanks.

CLASS OF 97-98

what's up, santi? All good?
I'll call you later.

-Marcos.
-Dude!

-How are you?
-Bad. I have heartburn.

-Oh, well. Have you seen Maite?
-Yeah. she looks pretty.

-Too pretty, right?
-No, santi. Normal pretty.

-Marcos, you're my friend.
-Yes.

You'd tell me if she were
with someone else, right?

I just ate a steak with cider
and I have heartburn up to here.

Look, I'm clear on that.

I'm just trying to accept
that she can hump someone else.

She can shine anyone's saber she wants
and it's fine.

-Hey, Pelayo.
-what does shine a saber mean?

Damn it.
Here, go drink a Fanta with your mom.

My cell phone...
My cell phone! Look at him.

Sorry, sorry.

Pedro, bud.

-Pedro.
-This place is dangerous.

-Yeah?
-Look, look. Marina and Ángela, look.

They can't take their eyes off me.
Pure lust.

I never learn. I can't come
to these places. I look like Mario Casas.

-Pedro, please.
-Marcos!

-What?
-Nothing.

-Want a beer?
-Yeah.

-Coming?
-No, I'll stay. I'll be right over.

What is this?

-Santi.
-Oh, hi.

-Have we met?
-I'm afraid so.

We spent half our lives
in the same class together.

Let me see.
Did you sit in back with Fatass?

No, okay. Behind Fatass,
or else I would have seen you!

I heard he's coming.
Listen, see if you can feel it.

That fat fucker!

No!

Holy shit. You've changed.

Hi! You're here.

-Hi.
-Look who I found.

Remember I said I have a new boss
at the supermarket?

Yeah, the businessman.

Well, it's Mario.

Sure. what a surprise!
You're together now.

-Working.
-Sure, working. Of course.

I was incredibly lucky to find her.

I was luckier, I found her first.

Okay, I'll go.

Yes.

With Fatass, he says!

If he gets on top, he'll snap her spine!

-Over there.
-where?

That's Fatass?

Holy shit! He's almost as in shape as me.

You guys see Fatass?

-Yeah, with Maite.
-No, no.

-Fatass is humping Maite.
-Hit me again.

-Fine, fine.
-what?

Hawaii, be more discreet.
He's in pain, can't you see?

He's still hitting on you?

You're separating, and a nice,
handsome rich guy comes along.

What more do you want?

I don't know. Nine years with santi...

-Have you told your mom and dad yet?
-No way.

I have to find the right moment.

Down deep,
I think I haven't accepted it yet.

The best thing about marriage
is not needing plans on weekends.

Hi.

-Anyway...
-can your son stay with you?

He's had four orange Fantas
and he thinks he's Spider-Man. Yes or no?

Okay. But you keep him tomorrow
during my vermouth.

-As usual.
-what?

Okay, see you later.

Wanna shine my saber?

Pass.

Already up?

How was last night?

-Fine.
-Yeah?

-Fine?
-Great.

-And I have good news for you.
-Okay.

Mario wants to interview you
to offer you a job at the market.

That's great.

Did that come up before
or after you two had sex?

Because he looks like
a premature ejaculator.

I doubt there was time during the act.

It was before.

-Yeah?
-Yeah. You know why?

Why?

Because with Mario,
during the act all I do is moan.

So much,
the thumbtacks pop out of the walls.

Today all of Gijón is wondering
who the lucky winner is.

Let's go to the lottery office
on the Paseo de Begoña.

Manuela, who's the lucky winner?

I don't know, a lot of people buy here.

Maybe a very nice gay kid
from the other day, but I don't know.

It's no joke.
The mystery ticket is worth 25 million.

Here's the winning combination again:

Nine, seventeen,

twenty-three, thirty-two, forty-seven,

three and eleven.

Take note. Write it down again.
It might be you.

Nine, seventeen, twenty-three,
thirty-two...

And later on you'll say
the economic crisis is behind us.

Nine, seventeen, twenty-three, thirty-two,

forty-seven, thirteen, eleven!

Maite, it's Santi...

I want to tell you something
that will blow you away.

Call me back when you can. Kiss.

Mario, it's a little soon for me.

Okay, okay. Sorry.

Juan. The guy in line.

Do you think he's the kid
who won the lottery?

Hey, excuse me. Excuse me.
One second, please.

No, I was just leaving.

Sir. Sir.

It's you, right? It's you.

-No, I don't know what you mean.
-It's you.

Parked on the yellow zigzag line!
This guy has my number.

-Damn!
-Don't be alarmed.

Damián Palacios, Astur Bank manager.

I have some excellent conditions
you can't say no to.

What are you doing here?
Would you please get out?

Did you know that 80% of lottery winners
lose their money in a few years?

No and I don't care.
I just want you to get out.

You know why?
Because they don't trust professionals.

Only those who do
manage to double or triple their fortune.

Get out. Look, I'm calling the police.

No, there's no need. They're already here.

Shit!

Don't move.

Look, hippie.

Badly parked, reckless driving.
You want to go to the joint?

I'm sorry, officer.
First of all, the hippie has a name.

The hippie...

What's your name, sir?

Santi Miravalles.

My client, mister don Santiago Miravalles,

is in a delicate situation of a nature...
technically unknown.

He's the gentleman who won the lottery.

You're kidding!

Holy shit. It was you!

-No. No, no.
-Yes.

Okay, then. Go have some fun.

-Congratulations.
-Well...

Technically unknown, huh?

They key would be
to combine some fixed income

with some variable income.

Maybe participate in a mutual fund

and look into investments
slightly more risky.

-You handle all of that, right?
-That's right.

I don't like to say this,
but you won't find in the whole region

anyone with more experience
and better contacts.

Antonio!

Talk soon.

Who was that?

Don't take it off, you're not allowed.

-But it looks great on you.
-This is all a little strange.

Tell me about yourself. Married?

I'm getting divorced,
so I don't know how to say it.

-Shared assets or a prenup?
-Shared.

-Ugh, shared assets.
-What?

Well, the law says
you have to give her half.

To my wife?

-12.5 million?
- 12.5 million, yes.

-To spend with Fatass!
-Fatass? Who's Fatass?

The fat guy she's dating now.

Then she'll spend it with the fat guy.
Can you wrap this up for me?

I have to give her 12.5 million euros?

Well, maybe not.
All problems have a solution.

-Oh, yeah? How is that?
-Easy.

Don't tell her about the money
until the divorce is official.

And I can do that?

-It's ugly, but you can.
-No.

-Yes.
-No.

-Yes.
-No, no, no. I can't lie to Maite.

I can't because my friends
will end up telling her anyway.

Your friends?
You're going to tell them too?

What, I can't tell them?

If you want to lose your money
and your friends too, go right ahead.

But look here...

Holy shit!
Maite is here with that fat fucker.

Sorry, you have to excuse me.
Sorry, sorry.

It's okay, a practical joke.
He'll give it right back.

Your keys, your keys.

-Santi. What are you doing here?
-What a coincidence.

The two of you are here.

Look, you said I wasn't looking for work?

-I'm substituting for Julio.
-Oh, that's great.

-Yeah. It's a nice place.
-Yeah.

-Oh, you know it.
-No.

No?

I saw your missed call.
Did you want something?

I wanted to tell you about this job.
So you'd know.

-Your interview with Mario is Monday.
-Oh, right.

Well? Romantic lunch? Celebrating?

-Work.
-Work? I don't see anyone.

They're probably inside.

-Great.
-Great what?

-Everything.
-And that tone?

-What tone?
-What you mean to say.

-I mean great.
-But you say great with a bad tone.

No, I say great with a great tone.

Maybe you're the one
who sees things backwards.

-I see what I hear, Santi.
-"I see what I hear" makes no sense.

-It won't work.
-What won't?

You won't get under my skin.
No, no, no. No.

Well? Everything okay?

You're right.
From now on, not a word to anyone.

Not Maite, not my friends...

Please. What are you doing?

With that snobface...
right in front of me.

Lunch, she says. Lunch...

Good, Damián.

At least they can take a taxi home.

This will cost you.

Snobface.

Now he thinks he's a surfer.

"Humble beginnings..."

"Brilliant rêsumê, humble beginnings."

What do you know about humble beginnings?
Snobface.

Fucking snobface...

Santi, sorry to keep you waiting.

No problem. I was... looking at this.

I didn't know you surfed too.

Yeah.

Yeah, you know I had my limits before.

But I learned a lot watching you.

I'm no Aritz Aranburu, but I do all right.

Sure, but surfing is a way of life,
you know.

Maite told me your factory closed down
and that you need work.

Yeah, well.

It's more for personal growth,
I don't care about money.

Let's see what I can find you.

-How many languages do you speak?
-Four.

Spanish, Asturian, high level English,

and parlo un piccolino Italian
when I've had a few.

Right. Tell me about... your skills.

What?

-Abilities.
-Right. Right.

If you're not taking this seriously,
I have other things to do.

We don't all have a rich father
to pay for a master's degree abroad.

Maybe it takes more sacrifice
to spend a decade away from home,

and the willpower to work
sixteen hours a day.

Yeah.

-Hi, Santi.
-Hi, sweetheart.

Have you joined the team?

Well, right now we still need to
find him a job... that fits his abilities.

Okay, there's a science to this.

After restocking frozen food,
you have to restock the dairy aisle.

Actually you have to restock everything.
We're restockers. Got it?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

-Easy, right? We restock the shelves.
-You're good.

But they're not called shelves,
we call them lines.

Only a dummy would call them shelves.
And what are we, Santi?

-Restockers?
-No. Professionals.

And no eating. Get your act together.

With luck, in two years
they'll promote me to check-out girl.

They say they make 800 euros a month.

Can you imagine having all that money?

Not in my dreams.

See that vest they wear?
The shit is amazing!

This is a fabulous three-piece suit
made of Italian cold wool,

with two tails and a two-button jacket.

This is something else.

More stylish, tighter, more trendy,
windowpane check...

Fabulous!

This is a fantastic model,
made of polished platinum.

Only 286 were made. It costs,50,000 euros.

I'll take it.

I'll take it. I'll take them.

-I'll take it.
-Which one?

All of them.

Let's go.

Wait, I want to go here.

No. No, no, please. No, no.

Please, let's go somewhere else.

Closed.

-We're closed.
-Closed?

Damage, damage.

-Damage. There's damage.
-Oh. Damage.

-Isn't that...?
-Someone's head is damaged.

Come on, let's go.

Can you just be quiet for a month?
Let's go.

But Dad, isn't that...?

Thanks. You saved me.

Well? Now you'll buy something, right?

No. More? No, no. Otherwise...

Damn! You know how long
I've been looking for this?

RED WINE

What are you doing?

I don't know.

You don't know?

No. I was hot and I felt like
a glass of wine.

It must have been uncomfortable.

Getting naked and drinking wine?
Not really.

Santi, you know what I mean.

No.

-This wine is great.
-Yeah? 1.95 at the supermarket.

I didn't know the job would be stocking.

I expected something
more interesting actually.

That's okay.

In any case,
you know you can stay here until...

Sure. Besides, with that shitty wage,
just imagine.

-I'm sorry.
-It's okay.

-What's wrong?
-Nothing.

Why is your hand in the sofa?

-Because it's cold.
-Yeah?

Let me see. Santi...

-Santi.
-What?

You see? It's fine.

You have hashish and you won't share?

No...

If you think waiting for me
naked on the sofa

is going to make you look
super attractive to me...

Maite, I'm sorry. Really...

Good evening, Santiago.
Look, I took the liberty of booking

a table at the restaurant
at the Principe Hotel

and a suite at your disposal.

Oh, by the way.

There are some
fantastic opportunities right now

in the Tokyo Exchange
and we should jump right on them.

I'll get on it.

WHY AREN'T YOU HERE? TIME FOR COCKTAILS

Gaudium de Marqués de Cáceres, sir.
Shall I decant?

-Shall you can't what?
-No, I mean the wine.

Yes, yes, of course.
Shall you can't the wine.

Don't worry.

Sir, the appetizers are on the way.

That's a compressed towel
made of Egyptian cotton

to wipe your hands.

Thank you.

Pedro!

-Come on, the tide is low!
-I'm coming.

Pedrito, you forgot your food.
Hello, boys.

-Thanks, Mom. I always forget.
-Aren't you forgetting something?

-Olé!
-Bravo!

You're so handsome.
I look at you and I can't believe it.

And that wet suit
favors his package so nicely.

Okay. Bye, Mom.

Drive, drive!

Drinks tonight since
I don't have the kids?

No, I'm not in the mood. No money.

You have that crappy job
the guy fucking your wife gave you.

-Pedro!
-What?

His life sucks,
you don't have to rub his nose in it.

Look, I know his life sucks.

But people have to be happy
with what they have.

We can't all be the bastard
who won the Superloto.

-Why are you bringing that up?
-You didn't hear?

-The guy lives here.
-Why is that his fault?

-He has 25 million. He's a bastard.
-Oh, so that makes him a target.

I think it's mean to attack him
just for being loaded.

Why are you defending him?
It wasn't you, was it?

Yeah, why are you defending him?
Did you win or not?

Me?

-Did you win?
-No.

Would I be stocking supermarket shelves?

-Right.
-Of course not.

Snobface, six o'clock.

Look at Fatass.

Well?
Let's get a drink and watch the kid surf.

And have a laugh.

-Fatass is a surfer. Now I've seen it all.
-That snobface.

-Hey, take out the croquettes.
-Look at this, look at this.

Pure carbohydrates.
The best thing about surfing.

Damn!

-Snobface wasn't that good, was he?
-Who? Who, Mario?

-No, no.
-Actually he was.

No, he wasn't that good. He wasn't.

-He was... good.
-Not that good.

-No, no.
-I just haven't trained in a while.

You training to compete...

Sure, if you trained you'd be...
Aritz Aranburu. That's who you'd be.

The police.

Toss the joint, toss the joint.

She's getting off.

Here, here, here.
She's getting off her bike.

Okay, okay, okay! It's almost ready.

Good afternoon.

May I please see your license
and vehicle registration?

The cops! The cops!

Did I say that out loud?

Look, I have two kids at home
waiting for me for dinner.

And I'm not feeling...
very well right now.

-Give me the backpack.
-The backpack.

The backpack.

The backpack!

-I see, right.
-No, no.

That's for medicinal use.
For these panic attacks I get.

Get out of the car.
Your hands where I can see them.

Officer, ma'am.
Please, how can we fix this?

You see this face? I can't go to jail.
Seriously, look at me.

Like candy in the schoolyard,
it would be awful.

Who's in there?

-What?
-Get out of the car, please.

-Dude, get out of the car.
-I said get out of the car!

Do what she says.

-Out of the car!
-Damn it! Get out!

-Holy shit!
-She has a gun!

-Come on, come on!
-Put that down!

Okay, okay!

Jesus, Santi! I almost shot you.
How's it going?

-What?
-What?

-Oh, I get it. You're celebrating.
-What? No, a new job.

A job, he says.
I'd be uncorking champagne.

What?

A little hashish in this situation
is more than justified.

Go ahead, have a blast.

-We're second cousins.
-What?

And she's bipolar.

No, no, no... Damn it...

-Hi.
-Good morning, sir.

Please, drive. Jesus Christ...

Tania. Alvarin.

-Tania!
-Where have you been, dude?

-Sorry.
-You need a shower.

Well...

No, no.
I unloaded three pallets of soap myself.

-Sorry.
-I tried to cover for you.

-Santi. Can I talk to you?
-Yeah, sure.

Excuse me. Sorry I'm late.

-Why are you dressed like that?
-It's summer, right?

-It's October.
-Wow!

Where did you spend the night?

I got a classy room at a 5-star hotel
and then...

Santi, it's fine with me
if you sleep in your van,

but please at least let me know.

Half an hour late, Santi.
We're off to a bad start.

-I'm sorry.
-He had some paperwork to do.

Yeah. Well... and jump in the trash.
It's a long story.

-Don't let it happen again.
-No.

And you need to work
on your surfing skills. You used to be...

He seems nice enough,
but he must be tired.

All the way from Australia.
Since you were in a hurry...

-First class, right?
-Of course.

It's all agreed. Expenses, fees...

Is he really this important?

Excuse me? He's the god of surfing.

Look, there he is. Aritz!

-That boy?
-Shut up, Damián.

Aritz Aranburu.

It's a pleasure to have you here.

Anything you say.
We can start whenever you want.

And who'll pay for the trip
to the islands?

-I'll pick it up.
-Buddy, you're so generous!

-How did I do?
-Better than good.

-Bro.
-Where are you?

Hey, it's Mario Casas!

Marcos and I are having a blast.
Where are you?

I'm about to have dinner
with Aritz Aranburu.

He's been telling me stories all day

about when he beat Kelly Slater
in Teahupo'o.

-He's in bad shape.
-The kid is a legend.

Santi! Come on,
you need to get over your depression.

Chin up, eh, Santi?

-There are lots of chicks here.
-Come on!

You'll get lucky. Cheer up and come over.

You're moving on from beers to cocktails,
right?

And then to the Canary...

Say we're going to the Canary.

-You called Hawaii...
-And we called Hawaii.

And he's bringing some killer weed.

Tell him we've got some killer weed.

-Are you a fortune teller?
-Okay, see you later.

What's wrong?

He hung up on me.

Santiago, if you want to buy a boat,
there are cheaper ones.

I like this one.

Well, if you like this one,
we buy this one.

Rómulo, how are you?
Nice to see you again.

-How are you, Damián?
-Look, this is my client.

-What's up, Rómulo?
-But... you?

Oh, you've met.

We've reconsidered the price
and our final offer is 500,000 euros.

-No.
-No?

-400,000.
-Huh?

But we said 600,000.

Then that's it.

Okay, okay, okay.

All right.

You see?
It just takes a little negotiating.

One thing. Are the bathrooms full?

Don't spill any, kid!

How are the investments going?

If you mean the million you lost
on the Tokyo Exchange...

-I lost a million?
-No.

-Well, then?
-It's a figure of speech.

Bank slang. Like they say:
"When in trouble, call Panama."

-So we're in trouble.
-No.

Did I lose a million or not?

I don't like the terms win or lose.
Money comes and goes.

It doesn't stop.
It flows constantly, like the tides.

Damián, look.

My friends! Here, here, here.

Damn it...

-I never got it.
-Look who's here!

-Hey, what's up?
-You don't even call anymore.

-Well, I was busy.
-And that suit?

-Wait a second. It's Armani, right?
-Yeah.

-How did you pay for it?
-What?

-How did I pay for it?
-Yeah.

Yeah.

Well...

-No, no...!
-No?

No, no... The thing is,

I'm working as a suit tester.

You're working as a suit tester
and that's why you're wearing that suit?

Yeah.

-That's cool. How does that work?
-Like the name indicates, Pedro.

I, well...

I wear a suit and have an experience
and then I tell the brand.

-And they pay you!
-God!

-What happened?
-The suit is crushing my balls.

You see? For example,
now I file a report and they change it.

Anyway, and you guys...

-How are you?
-What, now you care?

See you later, bud.

Look, guys...

We ran a bit late, honey,
but I'm on my way home.

Here.

I told you the taster's menu
was for four people, damn it!

No, sweetie, I was talking to Santi.

I won't eat again for a week. Really.

Yes, I'm coming. No, not lobster.
I don't remember.

A little crab...

My love.

Cheers.

Maite, you didn't tell me
your parents were coming!

Please, excuse me.

How can I tell you
if you left your cell phone here?

My cell phone?

The battery ran out.
And it was disconnected all day.

-It was there...?
-So forgetful.

Now follow my lead.

I made beans today and remembered
how much you like them.

-But they're too heavy at night.
-It's not even eleven o'clock yet.

And where is Miguelón?

Main dish, coming right up! Santi...

Anyway, I talked to cousin Luis, and said
you two were going to the wedding.

-You can't not go!
-Look, Mom.

-Santi doesn't know them very well.
-But he's family.

Hey, this wine is too cheap.
We have a much better one, darling.

That's okay. When we come here,
we don't expect much more.

-Damn!
-What's wrong?

This wine...

It's... wonderful. Where did you get it?

1.95 at the supermarket.
I use it for cooking.

1.95? This wine costs 1.95?

You know what it reminds me of?

A Gaudium we had once at a meeting,
remember?

-I don't remember anything.
-No.

No, it can't be a Gaudium
by Marquês de Cáceres.

A bottle that costs 104 euros? No, no, no.

-Approximately.
-We have another bottle.

Don't give it to them, it's for cooking.

-Take it with you, Dad.
-Thank you, sweetie.

Just as well you're here,
because he doesn't...

Santi. You're pale.

What?

No. No, no. I'm...

Well, I haven't felt so great today,
but...

Then finish your beans.

-You'll feel better after.
-Yeah?

-Santi, eat them.
-Yes.

Eat them.

-Yummy!
-Better, right?

I'm going to the bathroom for a second.

-Poor thing. He looks fatter to me.
-Yeah?

-Are you two okay?
-We're great. Great.

He's going through a harder time,
but we're doing great.

-Are you okay?
-Yeah, great.

A little wine and I'll be like new.

-Can you serve me a little, Miguel?
-And that watch?

-From Chinatown.
-Really? Let me see.

It's no big deal. It's a bad copy, Miguel.

How much did it cost?

-Like ten euros I think.
-Ten euros?

Buy me one.

Santi, get my father one.

-Okay.
-There's ten extra.

Keep the change.

I just got an idea.
Buy a watch for cousin Luis.

Nice, good idea.
That could be a nice gift for cousin Luis.

An amazing gift.

-We're not getting cousin Luis a watch.
-Why?

-I'm a little full already. Thanks.
-Okay.

No, no, no, no.
I don't think I can eat the cachopo.

Go on.

A little one.

-You're not answering?
-No, mine has no battery. It's not mine.

-The music is coming from you.
-From me? No.

It's not mine.
I always keep mine silenced.

Santi, you're disturbing everyone.
Answer it or turn it off.

-Santi. Santi!
-This is good.

Santi. Answer it.

-Okay, give me the phone.
-Maite and I are getting a divorce.

What?

Sweetie, is that true?

Yes, Mom, I'm sorry.

What's wrong, don Santiago? You seem down.

Raúl, can you keep a secret?

Well, I may look like a mess,

but I'm actually a... millionaire.

You don't say!

-Can you believe it?
-I'm blown away.

Right.

-Wish me luck.
-I think you'll have plenty, sir.

Hi.

-Hi.
-I'm Santi.

-Cristina.
-Nice to meet you.

I see you a lot here.

Yes. I come often, yes.

Have you tried the Michelin menu here?

-No.
-Really?

We have to change that.
We can go together some time.

Okay. But before we see each other,
I'd like to clarify a few things.

Yeah, sure.

No butt-sucking or sado.

Obviously no golden showers
or nasty shit like that.

If you want a trio,
you pay double and I bring the girl.

For the rest... Mastercard.

Okay, then. I await your call...

Santi.

Where our imagination took us

Where with eyes closed

You can see infinite fields

Where the first light was created

Where the seed of the blue sky
First sprouted

Will I return to the place
Where I was born?

Wearing sunshine I yearn for

Your hands in my hair...

-Yes?
-Damián, it's Santi.

Listen, we have to put a plan in motion.

It's urgent.

-Fill it up?
-Yes, please.

That's better, tiger.

-I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I thought it was...
-No, I'm the one who's sorry.

-I just can't believe it.
-Believe what?

Has anyone ever told you
that you have an incredible physique?

-What?
-That's right.

-She was completely serious.
-She offered you a marketing campaign?

Yeah, for all of Spain.
A very important company.

Leaders in the sector.
Sunglasses. "Santers."

-At first it's national, but after that...
-How much?

-One million.
-What?

No, relax.

It makes you dizzy at first,
but after that, it all goes in taxes.

Take it easy, breathe.

-Hi, guys.
-Hey.

I won't disturb you.
I'll just have a cider and...

See you around.

Santi.

-Come and sit with us.
-No, you guys are fine.

Come on. You're gonna flip!

What are you celebrating?

Pedro got offered
a million-dollar contract as a top model.

What are you saying?

-How?
-It just so happens that

the specialists finally noticed
that my factions are unique.

It's obvious, bro.

-What's obvious?
-I don't think it's strange.

-Me neither.
-It's Pedro.

-So what?
-So what?

-You need a positive attitude.
-I always tell him that.

-Positive attitude.
-Positive attitude, Marcos.

Positive attitude!

It's okay, come on. You have to eat this.

Look, it's normal.
I'd cry too. It's... frozen!

Damn it, I burned myself!
Pelayo, will you turn that down?

-Yes!
-Yes, yes, but you never do it!

Here. Can you turn...?

Positive attitude, Marcos.

Marcos, you are going to flip.

Okay, all set. Operation completed.

Pedro will film a commercial
and Marcos inherited from Aunt Dolores.

What do you mean, Aunt Dolores?

What, you don't like it?

Nobody has an aunt named Dolores.

It's just a name like any other.

It just won't.

Damn! Fatass?

-What's Fatass doing here?
-Fatass?

The fat fucker.

Oh, shit, right.

He came to the bank the other day
to ask for a loan.

Here he comes! A loan for what?

To sell a business
and fire all the workers.

Fire them? But what business?

-Santi?
-Which club, sir?

-What?
-Club, club.

-What are you doing here?
-Hi.

-You should be at the supermarket.
-Yeah.

Sorry, it's... a little moonlighting.

Give me a 7 iron, kid.

And to think Maite said
you don't work hard.

Oh, did Maite say that?

-Do I pay you to talk?
-What?

Yes, sir.

The thing is we had two trucks to unload.

Yeah, no, I'm on my way.

Hey, an 8 iron. Silly boy.

Didn't they tell you
the little numbers are here?

Sorry.

The gentleman has a temper.

Caddies nowadays!

We'll talk later.

Yeah.

-Good, eh?
-Damián.

He's never happy.

Moonlighting.

A loan, huh?

Gotcha!

-Are you sure about that?
-Tania.

The dairy section is running low.
Do you mind?

Yes. Boss, those rumors about
the supermarket closing...

-They're just that, rumors.
-Hi.

Are you sure? Because the workers
in Ribadesella are saying maybe...

That's what Mario told me
and I trust him completely.

Maite, I want to talk to you about that.

Hey! The happy couple.

-Dad, what are you doing?
-Hi, sweetie.

I'm taking all the wine
because it's the chance of a lifetime.

No, be careful with these wines,
the flavor changes from year to year.

No, Santi, it's okay.
By the way, I never take it off.

-It looks great on you.
-It's a really good watch.

-Everyone at work wants one.
-They're imitation.

-So what?
-In fact, they want me to buy more.

No.

-No, what?
-No, no, no. You can't.

-What do you mean, I can't?
-You can't because there aren't any left.

All gone? Oh, come on. Here.

Look. Fifty euros. So you can buy me four.

And you can keep the ten euros left over.
It's your tip, like a commission.

By the way, you two look great together.
Great.

See you later.

Maite, please.

Listen to me for a second, please.
I have something important to tell you.

-About the supermarket and Mario.
-Go ahead.

You shit in your pants, you pussy...

Hey, Josê Maria, I'll call you back.

Hey. The moonlighter.

Why moonlighter?

He's working as a caddie at a golf course.
During the work day.

You really are lucky
Maite worries so much about you.

I would have fired a little liar like you
a long time ago.

-Me, a liar?
-Yes, you.

You're a bigger one.

And he walks away.
This kid is unbelievable, Maite.

I was wrong again about you, Santi.

I thought you could take on some kind
of responsibility, but clearly you cannot.

Maite, please.

If you don't mind, get your things
and don't come back. All right?

I'm tired of feeling responsible for you
and I don't want to be your mother.

-Well? Wanna go for a ride?
-What's this?

-Gift from Aunt Dolores.
-What?

I inherited a ton of money
from an aunt I didn't know I had.

Wow! That's great!

-Dolores, Dolores, Dolores!
-No, no... Not here.

-Come on, let's go for a ride.
-All right.

Somebody might kidnap my kids,
but in the meantime, have some fun!

Lower your voice, really.
I had trouble back there.

Let's go. Dolores!

-Marcos, please.
-Sorry.

Marcos, please.
Can you drive a little slower?

It's okay, I'm in control.
Look at him. You don't like my car?

Yes, I like it, I like it.

I just thought you would buy
something a little smarter.

-You thought?
-Marcos, I thought you needed a minivan.

That's like screaming
that my life is over.

That's the trap of materialism, boys!
You're not flowing with the cosmos.

Hey, one thing.

When I do the cover of Men's Health,
what do I do?

-With or without sunglasses?
-Now the sunglasses model...

Hey, Santi, please. Positive attitude.
Remember what you said.

-Positive attitude.
-I know, you can buy any car you want.

Why do you care
how I spend my money if it's mine?

-Well, I care...
-Yeah, why?

-I'd better shut up.
-Yeah, shut up.

-You're giving me a bad vibe.
-Bad karma.

I understand you, Santi.
He has a shitty job with shitty pay.

And his best friend buys a hot rod.
No wonder it pisses him off. It's normal.

-Pedro, listen...
-You have to talk to understand yourself.

-Marcos, stop the car.
-I'm not stopping.

Hey, hey! What's wrong with you?

Yeah, what's your problem?

-You want to know?
-Yes.

Fine.

This car... was bought with my money.

No, sorry. It popped out from the shock.

Just give me a little whiff
of pure nature, eh, Pedrito?

It doesn't smell that bad.
Always the same.

You are so full of shit, good lord.
Here we go.

I'm the bastard who won the Superloto!

-Are you okay? Are you okay?
-I'm okay.

-Are we dead?
-No. You okay?

-You're a millionaire?
-Yes!

My car, my car!

-You're a millionaire?
-Yes! I'm a fucking millionaire!

-Good morning.
-This pâtê is incredible!

Yeah?

I bought it for you, I know you like it.

-Did you try the ham?
-Of course. You like it?

-Very much.
-That's great.

You can tell that since Mario
took over the supermarket,

the quality is much better.

Look.

Mario.

What is it, Mario? Yes. No problem.

See you later.

Okay, kiss.

Bye, bye.

Hi, baby.

Yeah, sorry I didn't call you before,
babycakes.

Oui, oui, oui, mon chéri.

You dream about me?

Counting every minute.

Me too. Three thousand an hour.

Ciao.

No, no, no...

You hang up first.

No, silly.
Okay, okay. Both of us on three.

Un, deux, trois.

-Relax.
-Yeah, yeah.

I am... I'm relaxed... I'm relaxed...

My hair!

My hand, my hand...

What's happening here?

The little guy is playing hard to get...

He's reluctant.

-Are you a naughty boy?
-What?

Are you a naughty boy?

This isn't working.

My hair. Sorry.

What do you usually do when this happens?

Is there a discount?

Unbelievable!

You were out with Snobface, huh?

It's none of your business, but... yes.

In fact, it's time you knew
we're going out together.

Thanks a lot. Very cool, eh?

Obviously I already knew.

But since we're telling
each other everything...

I spent all night humping Cristina.

Who is that? Your girlfriend?

Yes.

And we don't stop, she's in pieces.

-I banged a few times tonight as well.
-Yeah?

I'll spare you by not saying how many.

That's okay,
I learned positions I didn't know existed.

-Yeah, I learned something new too.
-Oh, yeah? What?

That I'm multi-orgasmic.

-What a short memory!
-I was protecting your self-esteem.

You'd be surprised.

I never knew the possibilities
of a well-trained tongue until now.

What a coincidence.
Mario didn't know either.

What, are you a naughty girl now?

He just knows how to unleash my wild side.

Okay, I'm going to sleep.

On one side, my back is full of scratches.

Good. I'm going to take a shower.

I'm sticky. Super sticky.

She left scratches,
she sucked him somewhere...

Where?

I don't know, Lorena.
He sure didn't waste any time.

Sweetie, it sounds like
you're still in love with Santi.

Me, in love with Santi?
Me, in love with Santi?

Repeating it compulsively doesn't help.

Look, next time you see him,

show him you're happy
he turned his life around.

That'll teach him.

Waiter!

How can I help you?

Bring me a nicer blend,
something fruitier.

Thank you.

I can't stand being badly waited on.

I didn't know you were
such an expert on wine.

Well, not exactly an expert.

But it's true that since I have money,
I like quality.

Right. And you're happy, right?

Marcos and I argue nonstop.
And I'll tell you one thing.

It's not easy to choose
between 12 kinds of ceramic stove.

What's up, Mario?

What?

From the beginning,
I felt like just another one of you.

And I want you to know that I did
everything possible to save this business.

To save each and every one of your jobs.

Sometimes...

will alone... is not enough.

Excuse him, he's very torn up about this.

I'll explain what we do next.

And now, please...

I ask you to keep working...
until the end.

What will happen to us?

I'm negotiating severance for everyone.

What kind of severance?
They won't pay us shit.

Well, I hope to get something decent.

How are you?

-Fine.
-Fine?

Want to have dinner together
tonight at home?

Santi, I'm fine, really, it's okay.

Then if you're okay, I don't see why not.

Let's bury the hatchet, Maite.
I think we deserve to for once.

I'll handle everything.

Handle what, the dinner?

Well, yeah. I'm not so useless.

See you tonight.

Chin up.

Good, I see you have
the foie and the codfish tacos.

How is the crème brûlêe coming along?

-Almost ready.
-Perfect.

Very nice, very nice, very nice!

Nice work, kids!

Let's put the table back,
Maite will be here any minute.

A little gift for your collaboration.
Thank you very much.

Please, we were happy to do it,
don Santiago.

-How sweet.
-Thank you so much.

No! No, no, no, get inside.
Quickly, quickly.

-What are you doing out here?
-Waiting for you.

We're not going in? Come on.

There's no handle.

-What do we do now?
-Wonderful.

Look, the light. Turn it on.

-You like it, huh?
-This is delicious!

Did you make it?

Well, let's say I had a little help.

I wanted to propose a toast,
but I don't know to what.

To everything. The good and also the bad.

To everything.

I can't believe we're tossing away
nine years like this.

To tell you the truth,
it still hasn't sunk in.

For me either.

I'm still having trouble knowing
who I am without you.

Too bad you didn't learn to cook sooner.

Maite.

I want to apologize
for everything I did wrong.

Me too, I did things wrong too.

No, no, I totally screwed things up,
really.

And I'm not proud
of what I'm about to say right now.

Okay?

-Remember the Superloto someone here won?
-Yes.

I'm the one who won it.

What?

We both won.

Right.

I'm sorry.

Maite...

Maite. Please, listen to me.

I've been trying to explain
for a long time.

But you know I get stuck...

Good evening, ma'am.

This is what I'm trying to explain, Maite.

I don't know what's wrong
with me lately, but...

Why didn't you tell me?

I couldn't.

I never want to see you again.

-No, don't leave, please, Maite.
-Actually you go, this is my house.

I can't believe it.

Okay.

I'm a dipshit and a liar.

But I love you.

And you need to know
that Mario is betraying all of you.

You talking about betrayal...

What's this?

This will look great next to the bar.

What? Are you being serious?

And beer on tap. Watch out.

Not in your dreams.

Then look, if the bar goes, I go.

Then I can fit the piano.

So hit the road.

What?

You heard me.

See you around.

New Santers.

For today's man.

Awesome.

-Awesome!
-Hey, what happened with Maite?

I can't figure that woman out, really.

If I tell the truth, she gets mad.
If I lie, she gets mad.

-She kicked you out?
-Yes.

Yeah, mine did too. What does it matter?

-It doesn't matter.
-It doesn't matter.

Here comes the man of the year!

There's the boy of the year.

Hooray!

-Why the long face?
-His face is long.

-I'm a trending topic.
-Olé, olé!

This one has 35,000 retuits.

"Pedro Gómez, the pool guy.

He's so ugly
not even snipers wink at him."

45,000 likes.

"This morning I took a dump
and Pedro Gómez came out."

Thanks a lot, Santi.
You've got everybody laughing at me.

You turned me into a freak.

Santi was only trying
to share his cash with us.

Have you already thanked him
for ruining your marriage?

Hey, hey,
I didn't ruin anybody's marriage.

It's not my fault if you guys
can't manage money in your lives.

I'll tell you one thing, Pedro.

You have many virtues,
but you're not exactly good looking...

-Ugh, no.
-You ruined my marriage.

No, no, Marcos.
Marcos, please. No, no, no.

-What do I do now without my kids?
-Hey, no, no, no...

And without my family.
I can't imagine my life without them.

-No, no, no, please.
-I'm leaving, I can't breathe.

-You ruined our life, Santi.
-I'm calling Lorena.

And I'm going back to the gas station,
let them laugh. Thanks!

Pedro, where are you going?

Where are you going?

Come on. Ole, ole.

-What's up, Santi?
-Damián?

This is over.
I need to talk to you urgently.

-Are you sure about doing this?
-Completely.

You know it's bad business.

Look, just because it's not profitable
doesn't make it bad business.

Okay, if you say so.
And regarding your personal matter?

-It's decided.
-Good lord, what a disaster.

-Have you got the documents?
-Yes.

Well, I guess from now on...

Well, we won't see each other anymore.

You never know, Damián.

Don't get nostalgic.

It was a pleasure working with you.

Likewise. You know what?

You have something
not a lot of people have around here.

Heart.

You grew on me!

Good lord,
this looks like Ali Baba's cave!

You can get a lot for all this.

And where's the lucky guy?

I kicked him out. I don't know what to do.

Sue him. He gave himself away.
Half of all that is yours.

-You think so?
-Think so? I know so.

12,500,000 EUROS
DEPOSITED INTO YOUR ACCOUNT

-What...?
-Look. Look how cute!

What's wrong?

Damn, 12 million!

-What a fucking jerk!
-Listen to me, Maite.

He knows you're with Mario,
and still gives you half...

What am I supposed to do, say thank you?

He did it to stop lying to me, he's cocky.

Yeah, right.
He makes everybody rich, how cocky!

-Maite Arce?
-Yes.

I have a package from a Mr. Miravalles.

Sign here.

Good-bye. Thank you.

Now the dickhead sends me
the divorce papers.

Well, that's what you wanted.

And they're even signed.

What?

You're one signature away
from being a millionaire

and liberating yourself
from that idiot Santi forever.

Listen to one thing.
Only I call Santi an idiot!

-No!
-Yes.

-Tania.
-Boss, the supermarket is reopening.

What?

-It's totally awesome!
-I'm on my way.

-Tania.
-Maite, I'm working check-out!

-Check-out?
-Yeah, check-out.

-Why?
-A man bought the store.

-What man?
-Ask Mario.

Okay, then... You're working fish. Good.

-Sign the margins and the back.
-Thank you.

No... How should I know what happened?

We were about to sign and someone
offered the owner a lot more money.

That's all I know.

That was your plan?

I'll call you back, Alfonso.

It's called doing business, Maite.

You don't care about anyone
who works here?

Of course it's not pleasant.

I wish things could have gone differently,
but...

No, no, no... No.

Saying it in English
won't make you more right.

In fact, I can't stand it!

-Did you want anything else?
-Santi was right. You're a liar.

And so are you.
Because you're still in love with him.

And that's your problem.

Your world is too small.

Mrs. Arce, I was looking for you.

I'm Damián Palacios,
the new owner's administrator.

Mr. Antuña has been fired.

-You're a middle-aged fucking kiss ass.
-Okay, wow.

I notify you that you're the new director
of the supermarket.

-Where is Santi?
-Santi. Santi who?

No, no, no. No... No, please, don't.

Don't do it. No. No, no, no. No.

-Lady, spare me the stories.
-I'm really in a hurry.

Not to pass your vehicle inspection.

-I have to go to the airport.
-I'm sorry, but you can't.

I'm the competent authority here
and I have to immobilize your vehicle.

You don't get it. I have to talk to Santi.
Santi is my...

Santi?

-You mean the Santi who won the Superloto?
-You knew too?

Come with me.

-Come on, get on.
-Sure.

-Ready.
-Okay, climb on.

That's it.

The store is closed when I get off work.
Do you mind?

Hold on.

-Stick it to him.
-Thanks.

-Run!
-Yeah...

Santi!

Santi!

If you think giving me 12.5 million euros
and buying me a supermarket

will make me come back,
you don't know me well.

ONE YEAR LATER

No, you don't get it.

I'm saying that
if you hadn't gotten remarried,

Lorena and I wouldn't be
in this situation.

-That's right.
-Now it's our fault.

No, what I mean is,
that was the day when it happened.

Hi.

Boss, sorry to bother you,
but I need you to sign these bills.

-How are you, Tania?
-Fine, fine.

Are you Pool Pedro,
the apostle from Natural Beauty?

-Yes.
-You know him too?

His channel has 2 million subscribers!

Can I take a selfie with you?

-Darling, how are you?
-Phenomenal.

I was just telling them that their wedding
was where we reconciled.

-Don't remind me.
-Here.

You don't know what three kids
can do to your vagina.

-Guys, guys.
-What?

-I just saw Fatass.
-And?