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1
00:00:00,484 --> 00:00:02,903
In 1972,
a crack commando unit...
2
00:00:02,986 --> 00:00:04,571
was sent to prison
by a military court...
3
00:00:04,696 --> 00:00:06,281
for a crime they didn't commit.
4
00:00:06,406 --> 00:00:07,533
These men promptly escaped...
5
00:00:07,658 --> 00:00:09,159
from a maximum-security
stockade...
6
00:00:09,243 --> 00:00:10,744
to the Los Angeles underground.
7
00:00:10,828 --> 00:00:12,579
Today, still wanted
by the government...
8
00:00:12,663 --> 00:00:14,540
they survive
as soldiers of fortune.
9
00:00:14,623 --> 00:00:16,959
If you have a problem,
if no one else can help...
10
00:00:17,042 --> 00:00:18,335
and if you can find them...
11
00:00:18,418 --> 00:00:20,963
maybe you can hire the A-Team.
12
00:02:39,434 --> 00:02:42,312
Go too far down
this river, is me think.
13
00:02:42,938 --> 00:02:46,400
All this nonsense about El
Cajon, the river pirate.
14
00:02:46,483 --> 00:02:49,361
These people really believe
he's some kind of devil?
15
00:02:49,611 --> 00:02:53,073
A mystical creature who can walk
without one foot touching the ground.
16
00:02:53,365 --> 00:02:54,408
You gotta be kidding.
17
00:02:54,491 --> 00:02:57,703
El Cajon, he maketh no shadow.
18
00:02:57,786 --> 00:03:01,665
Death follow him
like silent friend.
19
00:03:01,790 --> 00:03:06,378
El Cajon has cobra and
moccasin around his neck.
20
00:03:06,628 --> 00:03:08,338
They fear to bite him.
21
00:03:08,505 --> 00:03:12,050
Look, our deal was you would take
me to the Jurua Tributary...
22
00:03:12,175 --> 00:03:15,971
and on past the settlement at Fonte Boa.
I paid you for that distance.
23
00:03:16,096 --> 00:03:20,267
That was before husband of me
sister had vision last night.
24
00:03:20,559 --> 00:03:24,896
Your brother-in-law chews cocoa leaves.
He's high. He's loaded.
25
00:03:25,022 --> 00:03:27,107
His pupils look like
train tunnels.
26
00:03:27,232 --> 00:03:30,110
He see tomorrow today.
27
00:03:30,527 --> 00:03:33,572
Ah, he's a little bit crazy,
me think.
28
00:03:34,781 --> 00:03:37,868
But he is listened by others.
29
00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:40,454
We're not turning back,
Little John.
30
00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:44,750
When we reach
bend in river, we see.
31
00:03:44,875 --> 00:03:46,835
That is me best think on it.
32
00:04:10,525 --> 00:04:14,279
You say to them that I know where
the lost city of Del Rio is.
33
00:04:16,406 --> 00:04:18,575
The religious artifacts,
they can have.
34
00:04:18,658 --> 00:04:21,036
The treasures of their
Peruvian Indians.
35
00:04:21,244 --> 00:04:23,622
Much magic. Okay?
36
00:04:24,664 --> 00:04:27,042
You and your family
be big medicine.
37
00:04:27,667 --> 00:04:29,294
Much magic.
38
00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:47,020
He want two thing.
39
00:04:47,145 --> 00:04:48,480
Okay. What?
40
00:04:48,605 --> 00:04:52,401
You will offer your hand
to El Cajon to save our lives.
41
00:04:53,402 --> 00:04:55,320
That's easy enough.
Sure. What else?
42
00:04:56,113 --> 00:04:59,032
He want good luck medal
from your neck.
43
00:04:59,324 --> 00:05:01,743
My girlfriend gave me
this St. Christopher.
44
00:05:01,868 --> 00:05:04,162
Kind of a pre-engagement gift.
45
00:05:04,287 --> 00:05:06,540
These things will take you
round bend in river.
46
00:05:06,665 --> 00:05:08,208
Nothing else.
47
00:05:33,150 --> 00:05:34,901
It will be safe now.
48
00:05:35,026 --> 00:05:36,778
I don't believe this.
49
00:05:56,465 --> 00:05:58,842
So, looks like El Cajon's...
50
00:05:58,967 --> 00:06:01,845
out scaring snakes on
another part of the river.
51
00:06:07,267 --> 00:06:08,894
El Cajon.
52
00:06:17,319 --> 00:06:19,237
Maintain your course.
We'll outrun him.
53
00:06:19,362 --> 00:06:20,739
No, you must stop.
54
00:06:21,031 --> 00:06:22,365
You will give him your hand.
55
00:06:22,491 --> 00:06:24,326
I don't think this guy
wants to shake hands.
56
00:06:24,451 --> 00:06:25,410
No shake hands.
57
00:06:25,535 --> 00:06:29,789
You will let him cut it off and you will
offer it as a gift to save our lives.
58
00:07:00,529 --> 00:07:02,322
Good morning, seƱor.
59
00:07:02,906 --> 00:07:05,784
You seem to be having
a bit of trouble.
60
00:07:06,368 --> 00:07:11,498
Perhaps for a small amount of
money I can give you a hand.
61
00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:14,209
I thought I was
supposed to give you mine.
62
00:07:14,334 --> 00:07:16,878
This is a very old
Indian custom.
63
00:07:17,212 --> 00:07:19,881
You give a hand
to protect your friends.
64
00:07:20,257 --> 00:07:24,427
Is very, very funny custom, no?
65
00:07:38,942 --> 00:07:42,279
Such is the legend of El Cajon.
66
00:07:42,362 --> 00:07:47,450
He will tell the others of the
man who walks on one leg.
67
00:07:51,288 --> 00:07:54,833
Perhaps a box of diamonds, eh?
68
00:07:55,125 --> 00:07:56,167
It's my journal.
69
00:07:56,251 --> 00:07:57,752
Your journal.
70
00:07:59,254 --> 00:08:01,298
Yes...
71
00:08:03,341 --> 00:08:06,011
very important, these words.
72
00:08:07,012 --> 00:08:08,847
Just my personal stuff.
73
00:08:09,097 --> 00:08:10,682
I see.
74
00:08:12,559 --> 00:08:16,980
It is about many women, eh?
75
00:08:17,105 --> 00:08:18,523
I think?
76
00:08:20,150 --> 00:08:23,403
I will read these words later.
77
00:08:52,140 --> 00:08:57,062
SeƱor, this is not the way for
friends to welcome each other...
78
00:08:57,187 --> 00:08:59,147
over the barrel of the pistola.
79
00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:01,358
You're not my friend, fatso.
Where's the rest of the money?
80
00:09:01,524 --> 00:09:04,653
Isn't it you who's
bringing the money to me?
81
00:09:04,903 --> 00:09:08,531
Does not your boss,
SeƱor Doylee, pay me...
82
00:09:08,657 --> 00:09:10,742
to keep people off the river?
83
00:09:10,825 --> 00:09:14,120
I'm through with you and I'm through
with Doyle. I want what you've got.
84
00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:18,541
My bad leg, she aches.
85
00:09:19,167 --> 00:09:21,127
May I sit down?
86
00:09:26,841 --> 00:09:31,763
The man who walks
with one foot get tired...
87
00:09:34,099 --> 00:09:35,472
somedays.
88
00:09:35,497 --> 00:09:38,520
You fat bucket of donkey sweat.
Where is it?
89
00:09:38,978 --> 00:09:42,399
You make a big mistake.
90
00:09:44,192 --> 00:09:46,528
It is a double barrel, seƱor.
91
00:09:46,695 --> 00:09:49,447
The man who walks on one leg...
92
00:09:49,948 --> 00:09:52,951
carries a shotgun in the other.
93
00:09:53,368 --> 00:09:55,704
Is good trick, no, eh?
94
00:09:58,957 --> 00:10:04,462
The fat bucket of donkey sweat
do it again, eh?
95
00:10:28,820 --> 00:10:32,866
And so the paper sent a stringer
down to Monte Alegre...
96
00:10:33,074 --> 00:10:36,286
which is a tiny town on the
Jurua tributary of the Amazon.
97
00:10:36,703 --> 00:10:39,914
There's a river Indian there, who
goes by the name of Little John.
98
00:10:40,039 --> 00:10:41,583
Little John.
I like that.
99
00:10:41,666 --> 00:10:45,587
He was in Brian's party,
and the only one to get away.
100
00:10:46,087 --> 00:10:48,423
Apparently their convoy
was attacked...
101
00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:51,050
by a river pirate
who goes by the name...
102
00:10:51,301 --> 00:10:52,635
of El Cajon.
103
00:10:52,719 --> 00:10:53,970
El Cajon?
104
00:10:54,137 --> 00:10:57,307
El Cajon? I think that's
a Spanish word, not a name.
105
00:10:57,932 --> 00:11:00,226
And you're engaged
to this Brian Lefcourt?
106
00:11:00,477 --> 00:11:01,978
Pre-engaged.
107
00:11:02,312 --> 00:11:04,314
We gave each other
these St. Christophers...
108
00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:07,859
and when he got back from trying to
find the lost treasure of Del Rio...
109
00:11:07,984 --> 00:11:09,319
we were going to be married.
110
00:11:09,444 --> 00:11:10,695
When did all this happen?
111
00:11:10,820 --> 00:11:11,988
Last month.
112
00:11:12,363 --> 00:11:15,450
When you guys were in South
Carolina helping that old sheriff.
113
00:11:15,533 --> 00:11:17,619
I don't want to be
judgmental but...
114
00:11:18,077 --> 00:11:21,915
well, marrying the rich owner of
the newspaper where you work...
115
00:11:22,999 --> 00:11:26,002
Rock Hudson and Doris Day
did that movie in 1950.
116
00:11:26,169 --> 00:11:28,880
I'm not marrying him
for his money.
117
00:11:30,215 --> 00:11:32,592
Let's get back
to this lost city stuff.
118
00:11:32,717 --> 00:11:36,846
There wouldn't happen to be some lost
treasure in this lost city, would there?
119
00:11:37,013 --> 00:11:39,474
Brian isn't after the treasure.
120
00:11:39,599 --> 00:11:41,893
He has a doctorate
in Archeology...
121
00:11:42,018 --> 00:11:44,521
and there happen to be
tremendous cultural finds...
122
00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:47,732
that date back to the
early Peruvian tribes.
123
00:11:51,736 --> 00:11:53,822
Oh, well, now,
this is encouraging.
124
00:11:53,905 --> 00:11:54,864
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
125
00:11:54,989 --> 00:11:58,868
"El Cajon. Spanish
translation: The coffin."
126
00:11:59,285 --> 00:12:01,871
What kind of a scungele
would call himself a coffin?
127
00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:05,458
Well, probably the same kind that
would call himself Hannibal.
128
00:12:07,252 --> 00:12:11,005
Come on, Face, Hannibal the Great
was a general, he was a thinker.
129
00:12:12,257 --> 00:12:15,927
A coffin is just a suitcase for
a dead body. It lacks style.
130
00:12:16,511 --> 00:12:18,930
It's klutzy, brutish.
131
00:12:22,475 --> 00:12:25,687
The guy is a terrorist slob.
132
00:12:26,563 --> 00:12:30,483
And I think I'd like to tell that to Mr.
Coffin in person.
133
00:12:33,069 --> 00:12:35,822
Face, you spring
Murdock, I'll get B.A.
134
00:12:42,245 --> 00:12:46,207
Yes, yes, it was tragic.
135
00:12:46,583 --> 00:12:49,419
That's why the family
has asked me...
136
00:12:49,502 --> 00:12:52,964
to handle the final part
of the interment.
137
00:12:53,089 --> 00:12:54,507
I don't quite understand.
138
00:12:54,591 --> 00:12:58,386
Are you with the Congregational
Church or Lyman Brothers Mortuary?
139
00:12:58,511 --> 00:12:59,637
Both.
140
00:12:59,929 --> 00:13:03,099
You see, it's all
pre-packaging these days.
141
00:13:03,224 --> 00:13:05,894
One-stop shopping, if you will.
142
00:13:06,394 --> 00:13:09,647
Yes. Now, I've given you
the paper work.
143
00:13:09,772 --> 00:13:13,109
I wonder if I might
have a few...
144
00:13:13,276 --> 00:13:15,904
final moments with the deceased?
145
00:13:16,905 --> 00:13:19,949
Now, that's
Lieutenant Colonel...
146
00:13:20,241 --> 00:13:21,993
Lawrence Bushman.
147
00:13:22,118 --> 00:13:24,537
Colonel Bushman was taken away
this morning, I thought.
148
00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:29,375
If he was, would I be here with
our Heaven Rider number six?
149
00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:31,628
Your what?
The coffin.
150
00:13:32,670 --> 00:13:33,755
Oh.
151
00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:37,508
Would you mind having a few of the
attendants outside unload the hearse?
152
00:13:38,301 --> 00:13:42,263
And which way might
the hospital wing be?
153
00:13:42,388 --> 00:13:45,516
To your left,
second floor, right.
154
00:13:45,850 --> 00:13:47,518
Thank you, child.
155
00:14:15,171 --> 00:14:18,675
Yes, yes, lovely.
Thank you.
156
00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:24,097
And, if one of you might remain
behind to help me with last rites?
157
00:14:24,389 --> 00:14:26,224
Yes. Let me see.
158
00:14:26,516 --> 00:14:29,060
Let me see. I think...
159
00:14:30,436 --> 00:14:34,482
Oh, you, in the whatever.
160
00:14:34,565 --> 00:14:36,192
Yes, he'll do nicely.
161
00:14:36,317 --> 00:14:40,613
And if the rest of you could just
wait outside, please. Thank you.
162
00:14:47,036 --> 00:14:49,414
All right, Murdock, hop in.
We're running a little late.
163
00:14:49,539 --> 00:14:52,792
It's always the same.
It's always the same.
164
00:14:52,917 --> 00:14:56,119
They never ever
give me what I ask for.
165
00:14:56,144 --> 00:14:57,880
Murdock, it's all
I could get, all right?
166
00:14:58,006 --> 00:15:01,050
Are you kidding me?
167
00:15:01,509 --> 00:15:03,720
Who would send me
these little pillows...
168
00:15:03,845 --> 00:15:07,432
and this pale beige lining?
169
00:15:07,557 --> 00:15:10,601
What has this got to do
with the rest of the set?
170
00:15:10,727 --> 00:15:14,605
Has any thought been given as
to who might play the lead...
171
00:15:14,731 --> 00:15:17,984
and would he indeed look good in oak?
Murdock--
172
00:15:18,067 --> 00:15:21,738
I want you to get on to
wardrobe and on to make-up...
173
00:15:21,863 --> 00:15:23,906
and clean this mess up.
174
00:15:23,990 --> 00:15:27,827
This entire production has
been shtank from day one.
175
00:15:27,994 --> 00:15:30,872
- What're you, making a movie?
- The movie.
176
00:15:30,997 --> 00:15:36,294
It's going to be fantastic. It's
called Closed For Remodeling.
177
00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:39,505
You could be a star.
178
00:15:39,589 --> 00:15:42,008
Those eyes,
those blue eyes are stunning!
179
00:15:42,133 --> 00:15:44,177
Why don't you
try the angle from inside.
180
00:15:44,260 --> 00:15:47,055
That's a great idea. You and I
are gonna work well together.
181
00:15:47,263 --> 00:15:50,516
Those eyes, that hair, that chin,
the way it frames the face.
182
00:15:50,641 --> 00:15:51,392
I know.
183
00:15:51,476 --> 00:15:53,519
Half the world's
population should see it.
184
00:15:54,353 --> 00:15:55,438
Where's Murdock?
185
00:15:55,563 --> 00:15:58,649
The service was brief
but very moving.
186
00:15:58,733 --> 00:16:01,903
He broke down and asked if he could
remain behind in the bathroom...
187
00:16:02,028 --> 00:16:03,488
to compose himself.
188
00:16:08,659 --> 00:16:09,994
That was me.
189
00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:14,707
I'm sorry, I sometimes
get carried away.
190
00:16:28,971 --> 00:16:30,640
We need all this stuff,
Hannibal?
191
00:16:30,807 --> 00:16:34,519
For a guy named "The Coffin", I want to
be able to stitch his bag with lead.
192
00:16:34,685 --> 00:16:36,562
How come we gonna
unload it from the van?
193
00:16:37,105 --> 00:16:39,190
Because I have to ship it
to where we're going.
194
00:16:41,984 --> 00:16:43,361
We're flying, ain't we?
195
00:16:45,029 --> 00:16:46,322
That's right, B.A.
196
00:16:46,447 --> 00:16:49,534
It's out of the country and
we're gonna have to fly there.
197
00:16:50,618 --> 00:16:52,203
Only I don't fly, Hannibal.
198
00:16:52,370 --> 00:16:53,955
And now that I know
you want me to fly...
199
00:16:54,122 --> 00:16:55,623
I ain't gonna
turn my back on you.
200
00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:57,834
You ain't gonna get me
with no knock-out drops, man.
201
00:16:57,959 --> 00:17:00,628
Ain't no way you're gonna get
me to eat or drink anything.
202
00:17:01,295 --> 00:17:02,713
I understand.
203
00:17:11,556 --> 00:17:13,850
Then, you won't want...
204
00:17:13,975 --> 00:17:17,103
this last swallow
of your milk, I guess?
205
00:17:25,486 --> 00:17:29,240
The movie business
is in real trouble, Faceman.
206
00:17:29,365 --> 00:17:32,785
Gross receipts are down.
207
00:17:32,910 --> 00:17:36,497
I mean, the whole industry, it's, you
know, it's run by attorneys anyway.
208
00:17:36,581 --> 00:17:40,209
They cut a real filmmaker
to shreds.
209
00:17:40,334 --> 00:17:42,795
Have I got stories. Boy!
210
00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:45,047
Have I got stories to tell you.
211
00:17:45,173 --> 00:17:50,136
I mean, committees of men sitting
around in smoke-filled offices...
212
00:17:50,261 --> 00:17:53,306
- What is this all about?
- Oh, this is gonna be fun.
213
00:17:53,389 --> 00:17:54,891
He's making a movie.
214
00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:58,186
A classic little film called
Closed For Remodeling.
215
00:17:58,269 --> 00:18:01,105
...works of immense
struggle, and I will not...
216
00:18:01,439 --> 00:18:05,067
That's already opened. I saw it
on a theater marquee last week.
217
00:18:05,193 --> 00:18:06,694
Don't you do that to me,
Hannibal.
218
00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:09,238
One lunatic
in this outfit is enough.
219
00:18:14,535 --> 00:18:17,872
Oh, my gosh!
Look at that face!
220
00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:20,416
Have you ever considered
a career in show business?
221
00:18:20,541 --> 00:18:22,335
We have to pick up Tawnia.
222
00:18:22,460 --> 00:18:26,214
We have a lot to do.
Get out of there, Murdock.
223
00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:28,925
You're making a big mistake.
I'm telling you, both of you.
224
00:18:29,008 --> 00:18:31,969
You, meet me
in my office Monday, 5:00.
225
00:19:13,552 --> 00:19:15,388
Hey, SeƱor Doylee.
226
00:19:16,681 --> 00:19:18,307
I'm looking for Kruger.
227
00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:21,269
He came over here two days ago
with your money.
228
00:19:21,602 --> 00:19:25,314
He never came back. I was about
to send a man to you, seƱor.
229
00:19:25,773 --> 00:19:29,735
He no show. I think maybe
you no like my work.
230
00:19:30,069 --> 00:19:33,364
I stop many boats,
catch many men for you.
231
00:19:33,823 --> 00:19:35,992
Well, maybe he took off
with the money.
232
00:19:36,409 --> 00:19:38,035
If he gets to Iquitos...
233
00:19:38,494 --> 00:19:41,080
gets drunk and starts telling
anybody what's going on here...
234
00:19:41,205 --> 00:19:43,708
- I am sure this will not happen.
- You killed him?
235
00:19:45,501 --> 00:19:48,045
I am a simple
river boat captain.
236
00:19:48,421 --> 00:19:51,340
The jungle, she is very mean...
237
00:19:51,590 --> 00:19:54,677
and it is a long
dangerous way to Iquitos.
238
00:19:55,219 --> 00:19:59,056
- How many have you got?
- Twenty men, six women.
239
00:19:59,849 --> 00:20:03,019
I will have them
gathered up for you, seƱor.
240
00:20:03,269 --> 00:20:05,354
Put them on your boat.
241
00:20:06,314 --> 00:20:08,399
I didn't know you could
read, muchacho?
242
00:20:08,733 --> 00:20:13,404
Like this river, seƱor,
I am a man with many turns.
243
00:20:13,779 --> 00:20:18,617
It is of beautiful women
who sing, dance...
244
00:20:18,743 --> 00:20:21,912
drink wine and love, no?
245
00:20:22,496 --> 00:20:25,708
Where did you get this? This
belongs to Brian Lefcourt.
246
00:20:27,668 --> 00:20:29,045
Is he known to you?
247
00:20:29,128 --> 00:20:31,297
He owns some of the biggest
newspapers in the world.
248
00:20:31,422 --> 00:20:32,840
Ah!
249
00:20:33,007 --> 00:20:37,553
An important man? He must
be worth mucho dinero.
250
00:20:38,095 --> 00:20:40,139
Where is he? I want him now.
251
00:20:41,974 --> 00:20:45,770
My bad leg, she is aching.
252
00:20:46,145 --> 00:20:51,525
It is time for poor crippled
El Cajon to sit, I think.
253
00:20:56,238 --> 00:21:00,618
Where is he, Cajon? Or I'll
blow your stinking heart out.
254
00:21:00,868 --> 00:21:02,912
And if you ever point
this gun at me again...
255
00:21:03,037 --> 00:21:04,789
I'll feed you your leg.
256
00:21:07,083 --> 00:21:11,379
I like you, seƱor.
You are a man to admire.
257
00:21:23,474 --> 00:21:25,684
Get them up.
Load them aboard.
258
00:21:27,645 --> 00:21:29,438
Come on, move it.
259
00:21:38,030 --> 00:21:41,283
Hold it. Put him
in the forward cabin.
260
00:21:46,205 --> 00:21:49,041
Until next time.
You are a joy, patrĆ³n.
261
00:21:53,629 --> 00:21:57,550
But you did a big mistake
with me, muchacho.
262
00:22:07,893 --> 00:22:10,813
I don't know! I do not know!
263
00:22:10,938 --> 00:22:13,315
How am I supposed
to make this classic...
264
00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:17,987
if my driver keeps hitting
every bump in the road?
265
00:22:20,781 --> 00:22:25,411
Help! Help!
266
00:22:33,127 --> 00:22:34,795
Don't tell me
I'm in this coffin, Hannibal!
267
00:22:34,962 --> 00:22:36,255
If you tell me
I'm in this coffin...
268
00:22:36,422 --> 00:22:37,882
I'm going to start
spilling you guys' teeth!
269
00:22:38,007 --> 00:22:41,594
No, no, no, no, no. That's not a coffin,
B.A., that's a Heaven Rider.
270
00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:43,554
Yeah, we at Lyman Brothers
like to think...
271
00:22:43,679 --> 00:22:46,724
that there are no angry
spirits in a Heaven Rider.
272
00:22:46,891 --> 00:22:50,477
You guys slipped me down in a coffin.
That's it. This is the last one.
273
00:22:50,603 --> 00:22:52,688
It's gone too far, Hannibal.
You hear me?
274
00:22:52,813 --> 00:22:55,941
Sergeant Baracus, who was our
Ordnance Officer in Vietnam?
275
00:22:56,066 --> 00:22:58,027
- I was. You know I was.
- Right.
276
00:22:58,235 --> 00:23:01,697
Now, don't think of it as being
shipped down here in a coffin...
277
00:23:02,072 --> 00:23:05,159
think of it as accompanying
our ordnance locker.
278
00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:07,286
And...
279
00:23:08,704 --> 00:23:10,247
a job well done, Sergeant.
280
00:23:10,372 --> 00:23:13,375
This is a coffin, Hannibal,
it's not an ordnance locker.
281
00:23:13,500 --> 00:23:16,587
Now, B.A., emote, emote,
emote!
282
00:23:16,879 --> 00:23:18,547
You guys brought me
down in a coffin.
283
00:23:18,631 --> 00:23:22,551
It will not be in the
final cut, I promise!
284
00:23:40,819 --> 00:23:42,112
Yes?
285
00:23:43,239 --> 00:23:46,158
The Reverend O'Herlihy
and I are transporting a coffin...
286
00:23:46,242 --> 00:23:49,203
up past the bend in the river
to the settlement at Fonte Boa.
287
00:23:49,620 --> 00:23:52,206
We're looking for a river
guide named Little John.
288
00:23:52,581 --> 00:23:54,208
Do you know
where I can find him?
289
00:24:19,942 --> 00:24:23,404
They don't want us to leave.
How hospitable.
290
00:24:25,155 --> 00:24:27,533
Ladies and gentlemen...
291
00:24:28,242 --> 00:24:32,454
my name is H. M. Murdock...
292
00:24:32,579 --> 00:24:35,374
better known in the theatrical
capitals of the world...
293
00:24:35,499 --> 00:24:37,751
as H. M. M.,
294
00:24:37,918 --> 00:24:39,837
or Mmm-hmm.
295
00:24:39,962 --> 00:24:44,258
And I am the greatest director
of the cinema...
296
00:24:44,383 --> 00:24:47,094
that has ever exposed
a frame of film...
297
00:24:47,177 --> 00:24:50,931
and I usually get what I want.
298
00:24:51,515 --> 00:24:55,352
So where are the 200
llama wool sweaters...
299
00:24:55,477 --> 00:24:57,896
that I need for the barbeque
scene on the beach?
300
00:24:58,897 --> 00:25:03,152
You want to be in this picture,
chickie, you better get what I want!
301
00:25:04,028 --> 00:25:05,612
Well, are you gonna
go get the sweaters...
302
00:25:05,696 --> 00:25:08,741
or are you gonna pull one of these
mealy-mouthed el foldos on me?
303
00:25:09,241 --> 00:25:12,369
This is a joke?
You're kidding, seƱor.
304
00:25:12,453 --> 00:25:14,747
A joke. I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
305
00:25:14,872 --> 00:25:16,202
You're gonna joke all the way...
306
00:25:16,227 --> 00:25:18,751
on the plane
back to L.A., boy-o!
307
00:25:24,214 --> 00:25:27,176
I'm looking for a river
guide named Little John.
308
00:25:27,551 --> 00:25:29,053
He died.
309
00:25:29,678 --> 00:25:31,764
No kidding.
When did that happen?
310
00:25:31,889 --> 00:25:33,265
Tomorrow.
311
00:25:33,724 --> 00:25:36,185
And you're gonna
beat him into the ground...
312
00:25:36,352 --> 00:25:40,147
unless you pack your bags
and get out of here real fast.
313
00:25:41,023 --> 00:25:42,983
You're very sure
of yourself, aren't you?
314
00:25:43,067 --> 00:25:45,903
Well, it's a nice,
friendly place you have here.
315
00:25:49,406 --> 00:25:53,619
Now, why don't you
open the door...
316
00:25:53,744 --> 00:25:55,913
and not cause any trouble?
317
00:25:56,038 --> 00:25:59,041
That door stays locked
till you and your friends...
318
00:25:59,166 --> 00:26:01,210
tell us why you're really here.
319
00:26:03,128 --> 00:26:04,505
B.A.
320
00:26:20,437 --> 00:26:24,858
Now, you're the guy with the big mouth
so you can tell me where Little John is.
321
00:26:25,317 --> 00:26:26,485
I tell you nothing.
322
00:26:26,568 --> 00:26:28,529
You want to bet?
323
00:26:47,214 --> 00:26:49,216
Where is Little John?
324
00:26:52,428 --> 00:26:55,848
He's on Bobbi Cardina's
boat at the wharf.
325
00:27:04,314 --> 00:27:07,568
Oh, thank you so much
for your hospitality.
326
00:27:16,910 --> 00:27:18,954
B.A., guard the road.
327
00:27:20,664 --> 00:27:23,417
We're looking for
a man named Little John.
328
00:27:25,752 --> 00:27:28,672
Little John leave many days ago.
329
00:27:30,090 --> 00:27:33,969
Well, what about Bobby Cardina?
Where is he?
330
00:27:34,094 --> 00:27:38,515
Is best you go, seƱor. The
captain takes no passengers.
331
00:27:38,682 --> 00:27:39,892
No freight.
332
00:27:39,975 --> 00:27:43,020
What is this, caramel custard?
333
00:27:43,312 --> 00:27:47,608
It is material for the church which is
being built beyond the bend in the river.
334
00:27:47,691 --> 00:27:51,528
Yes, well, speaking of churches,
I'm the Reverend Galen Giles...
335
00:27:51,570 --> 00:27:54,907
and we're taking this casket to
the settlement at Fonte Boa.
336
00:27:55,032 --> 00:27:57,784
SeƱores, you must go.
337
00:28:20,557 --> 00:28:22,267
We got trouble coming, Hannibal!
338
00:28:22,351 --> 00:28:24,353
- Cut us loose, Face.
- Hannibal, we got trouble coming!
339
00:28:24,436 --> 00:28:26,563
All right, we're
gonna borrow your barge!
340
00:28:26,688 --> 00:28:28,774
Everybody off this sucker!
341
00:29:23,453 --> 00:29:25,080
He didn't make it.
342
00:29:27,666 --> 00:29:29,710
Nice drinking with you!
343
00:29:31,753 --> 00:29:34,089
Okay, querido,
who the hell are you?
344
00:29:36,425 --> 00:29:38,385
My name is Hannibal Smith.
345
00:29:39,970 --> 00:29:43,265
And if I could persuade you
to take that gun down...
346
00:29:43,557 --> 00:29:46,810
this could be the start of an
interesting friendship. Who are you?
347
00:29:51,815 --> 00:29:54,693
My name is Bobbi Cardina and I'm
the captain of this vessel.
348
00:29:54,818 --> 00:29:58,322
Miss Cardina, I hope
we haven't inconvenienced you.
349
00:29:58,447 --> 00:30:00,282
Look what you have done, seƱor.
350
00:30:00,657 --> 00:30:04,161
I've only half the load.
You have cost me much money.
351
00:30:04,286 --> 00:30:06,955
If I could persuade
you to put that gun down...
352
00:30:07,164 --> 00:30:08,749
perhaps I can make it up to you.
353
00:30:08,874 --> 00:30:11,001
Well, perhaps you could
persuade your friends...
354
00:30:11,084 --> 00:30:13,170
to put down their guns as well.
355
00:30:20,886 --> 00:30:23,680
Now, seƱor,
get ready for a swim.
356
00:30:23,847 --> 00:30:25,349
But you haven't heard my offer.
357
00:30:25,557 --> 00:30:30,145
I will pay you $100,000
in American money...
358
00:30:30,270 --> 00:30:31,897
to take us to the settlement.
359
00:30:32,147 --> 00:30:35,192
Now, I know you got a deal with
El Cajon, the river pirate.
360
00:30:35,692 --> 00:30:38,028
Some reason he lets you get by.
361
00:30:38,236 --> 00:30:39,905
Think about it, Miss Cardina...
362
00:30:40,322 --> 00:30:43,533
$100,000, American.
363
00:30:43,777 --> 00:30:46,328
- You have the money on you?
- It's in the coffin.
364
00:30:49,081 --> 00:30:53,627
What a wonderful idea, Colonel.
It's gonna look great in my film.
365
00:30:56,546 --> 00:30:58,799
There is no money, is there?
366
00:30:58,924 --> 00:31:02,344
Well, not yet, but who knows.
367
00:31:02,511 --> 00:31:04,638
Let's say that we're
at a standoff.
368
00:31:09,768 --> 00:31:12,062
There are no standoffs, querido.
369
00:31:12,854 --> 00:31:15,232
I like this girl, Hannibal.
370
00:31:20,862 --> 00:31:22,114
So do I.
371
00:31:24,533 --> 00:31:26,618
You are crazy men, no?
372
00:31:26,743 --> 00:31:29,871
I'm not crazy.
I'm a great filmmaker.
373
00:31:29,955 --> 00:31:33,041
I have visions that I turn
into cellular monuments...
374
00:31:33,125 --> 00:31:36,253
and I'm here to tell you
that with your aspect ratio...
375
00:31:36,378 --> 00:31:39,840
you could walk with
the cinematic gods.
376
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:46,263
Actually, what we're looking
for, see, is a river guide.
377
00:31:46,555 --> 00:31:48,390
Yeah, a chap by the name
of Little John.
378
00:31:48,473 --> 00:31:51,309
He was the guide
for Brian Lefcourt's party.
379
00:31:51,393 --> 00:31:52,769
Yes, I heard that.
380
00:31:52,894 --> 00:31:54,104
SeƱor Lefcourt
has been captured.
381
00:31:54,187 --> 00:31:57,816
Many people are captured on this river.
None are ever seen again.
382
00:31:57,941 --> 00:31:59,651
You're saying he's been killed?
383
00:31:59,776 --> 00:32:01,945
I'm saying none
are ever seen again.
384
00:32:02,404 --> 00:32:04,114
El Cajon is a pirate.
385
00:32:05,031 --> 00:32:07,033
He lives by a pirate's code.
386
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:09,661
Well, Mr. Coffin's in
for a big surprise...
387
00:32:09,870 --> 00:32:11,997
because we've got
a code of our own.
388
00:32:16,334 --> 00:32:20,255
SeƱor, I have heard from one of
Doyle's men in Monte Alegre...
389
00:32:20,380 --> 00:32:21,882
the big one named Churlisco,
390
00:32:22,007 --> 00:32:24,551
he was attacked
in a bar by four men.
391
00:32:24,676 --> 00:32:27,012
And they have taken
the Cardina river barge.
392
00:32:27,137 --> 00:32:29,347
It is about one mile
up river from here.
393
00:32:29,556 --> 00:32:31,516
Which men? Whose men?
394
00:32:31,641 --> 00:32:34,269
I don't know.
But they're armed.
395
00:32:34,978 --> 00:32:37,856
We will show these men
what happens...
396
00:32:37,981 --> 00:32:41,151
when one passes
bend in the river...
397
00:32:41,276 --> 00:32:44,154
without the permission
of El Cajon.
398
00:32:48,575 --> 00:32:50,160
We're coming
to the bend in the river.
399
00:32:50,285 --> 00:32:52,162
Keep it in the center
of the current.
400
00:32:54,581 --> 00:32:56,458
- Now--
- I don't know...
401
00:32:56,541 --> 00:32:58,418
props must be asleep
on this picture.
402
00:32:58,502 --> 00:33:02,130
I asked to have some small
canoes along that bank.
403
00:33:02,214 --> 00:33:04,424
You know,
symbolizing lost battles...
404
00:33:04,674 --> 00:33:06,978
That's not props, Murdock,
that's set dressing.
405
00:33:07,048 --> 00:33:09,012
Oh, it's not props. What?
406
00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:11,783
Take positions over here and
keep your rifles out of sight.
407
00:33:16,102 --> 00:33:20,232
All right, if that slime
ball jumps us, we'll sink him.
408
00:33:20,357 --> 00:33:22,984
Get inside, honey. Not
on your life, Hannibal.
409
00:33:23,109 --> 00:33:25,403
I got you guys into this.
I'm not going below decks.
410
00:33:25,487 --> 00:33:26,488
Right.
411
00:33:26,571 --> 00:33:28,323
Hannibal.
412
00:33:30,659 --> 00:33:32,702
You like this, don't you, seƱor?
413
00:33:32,911 --> 00:33:34,579
It does get the blood started.
414
00:33:34,704 --> 00:33:37,582
Now, when the firing starts,
stay down.
415
00:33:38,625 --> 00:33:40,627
I will pilot this vessel.
416
00:33:41,837 --> 00:33:43,505
It's all I own.
417
00:33:50,011 --> 00:33:53,723
All right, stand by.
Here he comes.
418
00:34:11,199 --> 00:34:14,494
SeƱor, we have
some engine trouble.
419
00:34:14,703 --> 00:34:16,413
Would you help us, please?
420
00:34:16,538 --> 00:34:20,333
Get that bunch of lumber out of
my way or I'll run you down.
421
00:34:20,417 --> 00:34:23,837
This may be harder
than you think, seƱor.
422
00:34:24,212 --> 00:34:26,923
If you have guns
you will drop them.
423
00:34:27,007 --> 00:34:29,259
Forget it, pal,
we're going through.
424
00:34:29,384 --> 00:34:33,930
No way, seƱor. You are
four, we are ten.
425
00:34:49,446 --> 00:34:51,698
Pull back! Pull back!
426
00:35:11,593 --> 00:35:13,637
Hold it right there!
427
00:35:26,608 --> 00:35:28,068
You are well armed, seƱor.
428
00:35:28,193 --> 00:35:31,196
Are you the jackass that
calls himself "The Coffin"?
429
00:35:31,279 --> 00:35:32,948
Yes, seƱor. El Cajon.
430
00:35:33,198 --> 00:35:36,242
Mr. Coffin,
please do not sweat.
431
00:35:36,368 --> 00:35:39,162
There is to be
no sweating in my film.
432
00:35:39,287 --> 00:35:42,582
Here, wipe it off yourself.
433
00:35:43,333 --> 00:35:47,796
All right, now take us
to your camp. Move it.
434
00:35:48,922 --> 00:35:51,299
Boy, do I love this movie.
435
00:35:51,758 --> 00:35:53,093
Don't you?
436
00:36:16,616 --> 00:36:17,909
B.A.
437
00:36:20,578 --> 00:36:22,414
See if you can find some
place to lock these guys up.
438
00:36:22,539 --> 00:36:23,623
Right.
439
00:36:24,374 --> 00:36:27,085
Ćndele,
Ɣndele! Pronto!
440
00:36:31,006 --> 00:36:32,674
Not you, Coffin.
441
00:36:34,384 --> 00:36:36,594
The pirate business
hasn't been so good, huh?
442
00:36:37,095 --> 00:36:39,889
SeƱor, if you knew
the problems...
443
00:36:40,015 --> 00:36:42,809
a poor river boat
pirate must face.
444
00:36:42,976 --> 00:36:44,644
It is not an easy life.
445
00:36:44,811 --> 00:36:47,230
Yeah, and it isn't getting
any easier, is it?
446
00:36:47,897 --> 00:36:50,525
Okay, which one
of these cabaƱas is yours?
447
00:36:51,943 --> 00:36:53,903
The one with
the TV antenna, huh?
448
00:36:54,112 --> 00:36:55,989
The reception is muy malo.
449
00:36:56,239 --> 00:36:59,534
Get only Donald Duck
on Saturday without sound.
450
00:36:59,868 --> 00:37:02,328
What a shame.
Let's take a look.
451
00:37:04,998 --> 00:37:07,125
We're looking
for Brian Lefcourt.
452
00:37:09,252 --> 00:37:11,713
We know you attacked his boat.
Now, where is he?
453
00:37:11,963 --> 00:37:14,841
SeƱor, my leg is wood...
454
00:37:15,258 --> 00:37:17,260
and she aches very much.
455
00:37:17,594 --> 00:37:19,971
Perhaps El Cajon
might sit down...
456
00:37:20,138 --> 00:37:23,850
while we speak about
this SeƱor Lefcourt.
457
00:37:24,601 --> 00:37:27,979
Okay, but keep
your hands in sight.
458
00:37:39,240 --> 00:37:43,203
This SeƱor Lefcourt,
you have come...
459
00:37:43,453 --> 00:37:48,458
all this way with these
powerful weapons to find him?
460
00:37:48,541 --> 00:37:50,001
I'll ask the questions.
461
00:37:50,126 --> 00:37:53,713
Now open up, before I take you
outside and hang you upside down.
462
00:37:53,797 --> 00:37:57,050
Is this the way to speak
to the respected enemy?
463
00:37:57,133 --> 00:37:58,843
That's the way I am.
464
00:37:59,135 --> 00:38:00,762
Spill it, Coffin.
465
00:38:01,012 --> 00:38:04,933
In that case, adiĆ³s, seƱor.
466
00:38:09,437 --> 00:38:13,358
- So, you had a little surprise for me, huh?
- No, I don't.
467
00:38:20,448 --> 00:38:22,909
You ought to get some
plastic cartridges, pal.
468
00:38:22,992 --> 00:38:25,286
You can't go swimming
with those paper-wrapped.
469
00:38:25,411 --> 00:38:28,915
You catch me at disadvantage, seƱor.
Give me the chance.
470
00:38:28,998 --> 00:38:31,292
Same chance you gave me, huh?
471
00:38:31,709 --> 00:38:35,088
Yeah, but you had
nothing of value to trade.
472
00:38:35,797 --> 00:38:38,007
But I have something for you.
473
00:38:38,508 --> 00:38:42,178
The traveler you seek,
SeƱor Lefcourt.
474
00:38:42,387 --> 00:38:45,890
I can give him to you.
I can, seƱor.
475
00:38:51,646 --> 00:38:52,647
Doyle here.
476
00:38:52,730 --> 00:38:55,525
SeƱor Doylee, hola.
477
00:38:56,025 --> 00:38:59,529
I have for you some news.
Not so good.
478
00:39:00,113 --> 00:39:03,992
I have some peoples here,
and they look for the man...
479
00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:06,286
the one called Lefcourt.
480
00:39:06,369 --> 00:39:07,412
Who are they?
481
00:39:07,528 --> 00:39:08,696
They say what they're after?
482
00:39:08,746 --> 00:39:12,584
No, they just seek
for the one called Lefcourt.
483
00:39:12,834 --> 00:39:14,210
And you've captured them?
484
00:39:16,588 --> 00:39:18,173
They are here with me.
485
00:39:18,298 --> 00:39:20,675
Well, hang on to them.
I'll be there at first light.
486
00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:23,178
They shall be here
when you arrive.
487
00:39:23,553 --> 00:39:25,180
You have my word.
488
00:39:40,570 --> 00:39:42,780
Hey, SeƱor Doylee.
489
00:39:43,656 --> 00:39:46,618
What's going on? How come
your boat's half sunk?
490
00:39:46,743 --> 00:39:50,663
I always knew that you had
the good nose for trouble...
491
00:39:50,955 --> 00:39:53,291
and we have plenty.
492
00:39:56,920 --> 00:39:59,672
Beautiful, B.A.,
it was beautiful.
493
00:39:59,756 --> 00:40:01,883
You're gonna be
a sensation at Cannes.
494
00:40:02,008 --> 00:40:06,179
Okay, boy-chick,
this next shot...
495
00:40:06,262 --> 00:40:10,225
is gonna be multiple cameras.
It's the great massacre scene.
496
00:40:10,391 --> 00:40:13,937
It's where your body is riddled
with thousands of bullets.
497
00:40:14,020 --> 00:40:18,066
Unfortunately, I got to get it
the first time. No retakes.
498
00:40:18,191 --> 00:40:19,359
You get my drift?
499
00:40:19,484 --> 00:40:22,028
You wanted to talk to us
about Brian Lefcourt.
500
00:40:22,445 --> 00:40:24,530
You stupid, fat pig.
501
00:40:24,656 --> 00:40:27,242
I would not be
too harsh with the words...
502
00:40:27,367 --> 00:40:31,204
considering where
we both stand, my friend.
503
00:40:31,329 --> 00:40:35,875
We want to know about Brian.
Is he all right?
504
00:40:36,918 --> 00:40:39,254
The lady asked you
a question, pal.
505
00:40:40,380 --> 00:40:42,966
Is he? Tell me.
506
00:40:43,341 --> 00:40:45,969
I'm sure you will see him
soon enough, chiquita.
507
00:40:46,594 --> 00:40:48,554
Their weapons
are no good, Doyle.
508
00:40:55,061 --> 00:40:58,022
Shall we drop the weapons,
gentlemen?
509
00:40:58,147 --> 00:41:01,651
Might as well. She pulled
the firing pins, guys.
510
00:41:01,734 --> 00:41:03,403
I am sorry, querido.
511
00:41:03,486 --> 00:41:05,405
Not half as sorry as I am.
512
00:41:05,530 --> 00:41:08,408
Not as sorry as you will be.
513
00:41:08,825 --> 00:41:10,535
Get them aboard the barge!
514
00:41:23,715 --> 00:41:25,800
You will return them
to the encampment...
515
00:41:25,925 --> 00:41:27,593
and then continue on
with your supplies.
516
00:41:27,719 --> 00:41:29,554
I will have to make
one more trip.
517
00:41:29,887 --> 00:41:31,764
There was to be no more trips.
518
00:41:31,848 --> 00:41:34,934
Because of them I had to shove
off without being fully loaded.
519
00:41:35,059 --> 00:41:37,270
What is one more trip
among friends?
520
00:41:37,395 --> 00:41:41,065
Under the circumstances, I do not think
you have much to complain about.
521
00:41:52,577 --> 00:41:53,953
Are you loco?
522
00:41:54,662 --> 00:41:57,165
If not for her,
we would be their prisoners.
523
00:41:57,290 --> 00:42:00,710
If not for her, they wouldn't
be here in the first place.
524
00:42:00,835 --> 00:42:04,116
Every trip she takes past the
bend in the river jeopardizes us.
525
00:42:05,006 --> 00:42:07,050
Now we are on the alert.
526
00:42:07,133 --> 00:42:08,718
We will watch them.
527
00:42:08,885 --> 00:42:12,263
But that was foolish,
SeƱor Doylee.
528
00:42:12,513 --> 00:42:14,307
She's a stubborn one.
529
00:42:15,141 --> 00:42:16,476
Never mind.
530
00:42:16,934 --> 00:42:19,604
After this delivery I'll
have no use for her anyway.
531
00:42:20,146 --> 00:42:21,981
You wish me to kill her?
532
00:42:22,065 --> 00:42:23,191
No.
533
00:42:24,150 --> 00:42:26,361
She is one I want for myself.
534
00:42:42,168 --> 00:42:44,295
Yeah, Hannibal, I hope
you're working on another plan.
535
00:42:44,420 --> 00:42:46,964
- We haven't finished with the old plan.
- What old one?
536
00:42:47,090 --> 00:42:49,634
The one that takes us
to find Brian Lefcourt.
537
00:42:49,717 --> 00:42:52,261
You call getting caught
like this a plan?
538
00:42:52,428 --> 00:42:53,971
Well, with
a few minor glitches...
539
00:42:54,097 --> 00:42:55,765
it takes us
directly to Lefcourt.
540
00:42:55,848 --> 00:42:58,267
- Sounds logical to me.
- It would.
541
00:42:59,060 --> 00:43:00,353
Cast off.
40044
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