All language subtitles for Superstore (2015) - S05E09 - Curbside Pickup (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 Silence)_track4_[eng]

[quirky music]

- And lastly, we're launching
curbside pickup today,

so some of you are gonna
be working on that with Dina.

- Okay, those on curbside
with me are Simms,

McNeill, Thompson,
Sikowicz, Vasquez,

Bradley, Kaluiokalani.

- So you hired a whole
outside team for this?

- Those are our last names.

- We have a Sikowicz?
- That's me.

- Wait, do you know
Ricky Sikowicz?

- He's my cousin.
- What?

- Mm-hmm.
- He's my cousin too.

- What?
- Oh.

We should probably
stop doing stuff.

- Oh, yeah.
I was gonna say that too.

- Hey, if any of you curbside
folks want to trade places,

I'd be happy
to work outside today.

It's a nice fall day out there.

- Fascinating.
You're inside on checkouts.

- That's fine because
it's fall inside too.

- Not true.

- This is a great debate
for another time.

Now, I'm gonna be
a little busy.

My brother moved back
and I'm giving him

a tour of the store.

- We give tours?
I want to take a tour.

- You work here.

- Yeah, but I don't know
all the history and crap.

- Neither do I.
I'm not gonna tell him history.

- That sounds like
a great tour.

- I didn't know
your brother moved back.

- Yep, he's back,

and he's living with us,
just for a few days.

Or at least in my mind,
it's already been 17.

- Having Eric around rules.

He's the coolest.
We're buds.

It just happened, very organic.
Nothing forced.

- Sounds like it.
- Eric Sosa.

He sounds hot.
- He's gay, Justine.

I mean, not that gay men
can't be hot, obviously.

- Gross, Amy.
He's your brother.

- Yeah.

[upbeat music]

♪

- So when a curbside order
comes in,

it prints on this printer

and you'll hear
a beep-beep on your Zebra.

Now, you'll grab
the order slip,

collect everything
on that order,

and bring it out
to the customer.

- And we're supposed
to get a two-way thumbs-up?

Is that even possible?
- Apparently so.

I mean,
there's photographic proof.

Now, from the time
you hear the beep-beep,

you'll have 30 minutes
to get the order in the car.

- Yeah, but some orders
take longer, right?

I mean, like,
if it's a big order,

if it's spread out
around the store--

- Yeah, or if it's
for something

that we don't even sell,
like tractors.

- Okay, these sound
like excuses to me.

We've promised 30 minutes.
We'll do it in 30 minutes.

Cloud 9 wants to provide
its lazy customers

with an efficient
shopping experience.

- Yeah, by running
its employees into the ground.

Pretty soon, people are gonna
have to pee in bottles.

'cause they don't have enough
time to take a bathroom break.

- You want to pee in bottles?
No problem.

I'll fish one out
of the recycling.

- No, that's not--

- I mean, it's a little
trickier for the gals,

but definitely doable.

- ♪ I walk in
like a dime piece ♪

♪ I go straight to V.I.P.

♪ I never pay for my drinks

♪ My entourage behind me

- Hey, did you talk to Mom yet?
She's mad at you.

- Why?

- She came over and didn't see

the donkey bookends

she gave you for your birthday.

- Eric, I told you, you can't
just let anybody into my house.

- It's our mother.
- Yeah, that makes it worse.

I have a whole box
full of donkey stuff

I have to put out
when she comes over.

- You know how she works.

You play a donkey in one
nativity scene when you're six

and now it's your thing
forever.

- I was a really good donkey.
- You were.

- Hey, Amy, have you heard back
about that shelf request?

Dan wants to put in a "famous
glasses in history" display.

- It's still a no.

Um, oh, uh, Mateo,
this is my brother Eric.

- Hey.
Nice lab coat.

You work in the... lab?

You guys have a lab here?

- No.
- I work in the vision center.

That's why there's
a creepy eye on here...

- Right.
Got you.

Making the connection now.
[chuckles]

"Eye" see.

[distant music playing]

- Cool.
Great.

It's nice to meet you.
- Yeah.

♪

Don't.

♪

- Hey, Sandra,
this order just says "pot."

Do you know if they mean,
like, nonstick

or cast-iron or maybe they just
think this is a dispensary?

- Oh, I'm the wrong person
to ask.

I don't do a lot of cooking
or drugs.

- Yo, is this
an Oculus Quest headset?

Man, these are,
like, $400 a pop.

Supposed to be amazing VR.

I mean, even the box
is high-end.

Oh, the cardboard
feels like velvet.

Feel it.

- Ooh.
- Yeah, right?

- It's really smooth.
- Yeah.

- Reminds me why we got
into this business, you know?

♪

- Amy, are you creeping
on your brother?

- Shh!
- You're obsessed.

- No, no,
I-I-I sent him over there

to talk to Mateo
about sunglasses

'cause when they met earlier,

Eric got all cute and awkward.

- Okay, you're not obsessed,

but you just called
your brother cute.

- No, I'm saying he likes Mateo

and I thought they could
go on a date.

I mean, it'd be great
for both of them--

and for me,
I'd finally get my couch back.

- ♪ Eric

Who's ready for Tri-tip, huh?
[laughs]

- What?
- Tri-tip.

Uh, dinner tonight.

I'm making that new marinade
I was telling you about.

I'm really coloring outside
the lines with this one.

- Totally.
Sounds great.

[phone chimes]
- [groans]

I gotta go.

I'm doing this
new curbside thing.

It's kind of like
an elite squad,

but I will see you tonight,
all right, buddy?

- Uh, yep.
- [laughing]

- Mm, a long hug.

♪

- All right.

- This isn't a library!
Come on, read and run!

We've got empty cars
out there, people!

We need to get junk
in those trunks!

- ♪ I do whatever, whenever,
ain't no stopping my shine ♪

- Oh!

- Uh, where do you want me
to put this?

- Oh, just stick it
on the baby seat.

- Ah.

♪

There's a, uh, baby
in the baby seat.

- Oh.

- ♪ How you think
I get the Rolls Royce

♪ With the curtains?

- Oh, oh.

- ♪ Yeah, I'm working

- Oh, shoot.
Okay, uh...

- About how much longer
do you need me to--

- Just a second.
Just a second.

- Okay.

- J-just push
the unlock button.

- ♪ I peep
my bust-down Breitling watch ♪

♪ When I want to know
the time ♪

♪ These [...] like
to talk a lot... ♪

- [gasps]
We did it!

- ♪ Working, working,
yeah, I'm working ♪

- Are you done yet?
- Almost.

- [groans]
Who has time for this?

- Wait, it's--
hey, stop... stop!

- ♪ Million-dollar deals
got me working on my cursive ♪

- Excuse me!

- Hey, so I saw the new pair
of shades you picked out.

They looked great.

Did you think they looked
great on Eric's face?

What did you think
of Eric's face, by the way?

- Amy, I know
what you're doing.

Eric is cute and he seems nice,

but I'm not really in a dating
frame of mind right now, okay?

The last few months
have been rough.

- Yeah, no, of course.
Oh, my God.

Duh.
I'm sorry, Mateo.

I wasn't even thinking.

- Don't worry about it.

I mean, you obviously had
a crazy morning, so...

[distant piano music playing]

- Cheyenne, what are you doing?

Get a--get a cart.
[phone chimes]

- No, there's no time.
The orders just keep coming.

I had to pee for two hours,
and now I don't anymore.

Where did the pee go, Jonah?
- Okay, here.

I'll just take
the turkeys in my cart.

Just give me the--
no, no.

[both speaking at once]

[both shouting]

[phone chiming]

Uh, okay, all right.
- Oh, my God.

- I got it, it's fine.
- God, eggs.

- No, Cheyenne,
get a new bag.

- No, it's fine.

The dogs don't care
if it's been on the ground.

I'm already three
orders behind!

- So, I met your brother.
You guys are so different.

He seems super cool.
- Thank you.

- I really hope it works out
between him and Mateo.

You know, it'd be good
for Mateo to just, like,

settle down a little bit.

He's been dating so hard,

Tita Irma had to put
foam on the walls

just so she could sleep.

Me, I like the white noise.

- Wait, what are you
talking about?

Mateo said he's not
dating right now.

- Oh! My boy's dating.

It's like he'll go out
with literally anybody.

- Are you serious?

So, what, my brother's
just not good enough for him?

Eric is a frickin' cutie.

He has a cutie patootie.
We're all good-looking.

It's a hot family.

- Yeah.

.

[quirky music]

- So you're not
really dating now?

Because Marcus seems
to think you are.

- This.

This is why I don't
shop online.

Who's Marcus?
Let's get into it.

- Can you excuse us, please?

[distant music playing]

- Okay, fine, I lied.

He was cute, sure, but, okay,

would it kill him to find
a T-shirt without paint on it?

- He does set design.

- If I started
dating your brother,

you know you'd always
be up in our business.

- Oh, come on,
if you started dating,

I would be, like, hands-off.

I mean, like,
I'd be hands-off,

not that I would tell you,
"Keep your hands off."

You could have your hands
all over him.

I wouldn't mind.

I mean,
as long as he consented.

- I don't consent
to this conversation.

- Look, all I'm saying is that
you don't have to worry

about the "me" part of this.

I would be, like, so chill!

Like, you're gonna be like,
"Where's Amy?

I wonder what her
whole take on this is,"

and I'm gonna be, like,

in a hammock,
swinging and chilling.

- Yeah, so that--
I'd be worried about that.

- Hmm.

- Okay, come on, let's go!
These orders are piling up.

Jonah, your last order
took 33 minutes.

Quick math lesson:
That's more than 30.

- Dina, some of these orders
are insane.

One of them just said,
"Retirement gift for my dad.

Don't be afraid
to get creative."

- Yeah, it's been so crazy,

I haven't even been able
to go on Instagram.

Corona thought I was dead.
- We need more help.

- [groans]
Fine.

Be babies.
Sturgis, you're in.

- Glenn Sturgis?

On curbside pickup?

- No, you're gonna
stand outside

and apologize to customers
when these two can't hack it.

- What?

- So my job is to stand outside

on a crisp fall day
and apologize?

These are all
my favorite things!

I am so sorry.

- Glenn apologizing
is not gonna fix

the actual problem here.

- Yeah, well, he's too feeble
to fill orders,

and when people see him
stumbling around out there,

they'll feel bad
and cut us a break.

- No, that sounds
like a big job.

I should probably switch
to apologizing too.

- No! Stop whining!

What I need from the two of you
is less of this

and more of this.

♪

- I...

Okay, are you gonna actually

mime the whole thing?

- Wow, she's good at that.

Next game night,
she's on my team.

- Garrett, guess what?

We sold another
one of those VRs.

- What?
No way!

Hold up.

Barbecue chips?
Takis?

Dill pickle-flavored almonds?

This dude gets it.

- You should meet him.

- Oh, my God.
This was Jerry's order?

- Yep, I'm sure
you had no idea.

- Hey, sweetie.
Hey, Garrett.

I'm here to pick up
my video game.

- Your video game?

Do you have any idea
what you just bought?

That's state-of-the-art
wireless VR.

- Cool.
I learn so much from you.

- Hey, Garrett,

maybe you could help Jerry
set this up,

and then if you wanted
to play for a while,

I'd cover you and you could
get to know each other better.

You know,
since you're his best man.

That all just occurred to me.

[horn honking]
[dogs barking]

- You know,
I've left work for less.

Let's go.

- I mean, sure,
curbside is quiet now,

but the morning rush
was insane,

and for 9:00 a.m.,

a lot of our customers
are drunk.

Is it, like,
World Cup or something?

Amy?

- Mateo and Eric,

they would be good
together, right?

- Not my first choice,
but sure.

- Look, Eric's gotta
get out of the house.

He needs a social life.

I-I want him to meet
a nice guy,

and Mateo's nice,
sometimes, in a way.

- So then what's the problem?

- Well, Mateo is afraid
that I'm gonna be too involved,

so he won't even
give Eric a shot.

I think I'm gonna have to give
them a little bit of a push.

- To show that you wouldn't
be too involved?

- No, I'm gonna
get involved now

just to get the ball rolling.

- Right.
Got it.

- Hi.

I know you've been out here
for a while,

so behalf of Cloud 9,

I would like to apologize.

- Where's my order?
I need that washing machine.

- Okay, I'm not
on order fulfillment.

I'm on apologies.

- Why'd they send you all
the way out here to apologize

when you could have just
brought me my stuff?

- Oh, don't worry, sir.

Your order will be right out.

We've got our best
team members on it.

- ♪ All of her lovers

♪ All talk of her notes

♪ And the flowers
that they never sent ♪

♪ And wasn't she

- We don't really have
many guests.

Oh, do you want a snow cone?

- A snow cone?
No, I'm--I'm good.

Thank you.

You guys big Guy Fieri fans?
- Who?

Oh, we got that at a yard sale.

We liked his confidence.
- Mm.

Well, why don't we break
into this little bad boy

and download some games?

- Do you think you'll want
a snow cone later?

'Cause the machine's in storage

and I'd have to wait
for the water to freeze

and we'd need to get
a jump on it.

- Yeah, you know what,
Jerry, I'm--

I'm all good on snow cones.

- Okay. We don't have any
of the flavored syrup anyway.

- Okay, so just
crushed ice in a cone.

- ♪ You want to say

♪ And let the words fall out

♪ Honestly,
I want to see you ♪

- Oh, here you are.
Both of you.

- Yep, I'm just having Eric
install some shelves.

He put some shelves
in our mother's bathroom

and they looked... really cool.

- I thought you said Cloud 9
didn't approve these.

- I don't think that's what
I said at all.

Anyway, uh, new shelves,
new possibilities,

new connections.

So with that,
I will leave you to... it.

I will leave you to it.
Good-bye.

- [groans]

- Excuse me.

I order three jars of pumpkin
spice salsa an hour ago,

and I've been waiting
in my car.

- Are you sure?

'Cause we filled
all the orders that came in.

- Obviously you didn't,

because I don't have
my pumpkin spice salsa.

- Yeah, I'm sorry,
but there's no order here.

- Well, I guess I'll go get my
pumpkin spice salsa by myself,

like it's 1950.

♪

- What order was that guy
talking about?

Did it fall somewhere?

- Yeah, I don't know.

He sounded like a liar to me.

Just ignore him, you know?

- Is the printer
out of paper or--

- Wait--
- It's unplugged.

- Okay, it was me, all right?
I unplugged it!

I couldn't take
the beeping noise anymore!

- So the orders
are still coming in?

We're just not being notified?

- Yeah.
Isn't it so much better?

No, Jonah, no!

The plug is what
gives it power!

[beeping]
[printer running]

[groans]
[beeping]

[printer chirping]

[beeping]
Should we just quit our jobs?

I mean, I'm in if you are.
[beeping]

[beeping]

.

- Can everyone
in this row hear me?

'Cause I'd like to apologize
and offer you all

a nice, hot cup of cider
to enjoy while you wait!

- Is it too late to quit?

I mean, I'm still in if--
- No, no, no, no.

Look, Dina, there was
a minor printer glitch

that set us behind,

but--but I promise
we are gonna do our best

to get back on track.
- Your best?

You're gonna have to do
better than that.

Otherwise, this program
is gonna get shut down,

all because
you couldn't hack it.

You two are a lazy waste
of feet.

- Okay, you know what, Dina?

You've just been barking orders
at us all day,

and if you were actually
doing the work,

you would see how hard it is.

- Oh, you think
this is hard work?

I could do this all by myself.

In fact, that's what I will do.

Time me.

- Okay, great.
Let's see how you do.

- [laughs]

I shine
under high-pressure situations.

This is 2003's regionals

for Missouri's Best Bagger
all over again.

- I guess we'll see.
You ready?

- Wait.

[cars honking]

[exhales sharply]

Okay.

[distant music playing]

♪

- Watching your brother
work, huh?

I heard you had
a thing for him.

- I do not have a thing
for my brother.

I'm just checking to see if he
and Mateo are hitting it off.

Come on, you losers.
Somebody say something.

Hit it off.

- Maybe you should
give them some space.

- I'm all the way over here.

How much space do they need?

- Yeah.

♪

- Okay.

Hey, Eric!

I just thought I'd swing by,
see how things are going.

- Well, I hung one bracket,

but there's only
three screws left.

- Yeah, yeah, you're good.
You got this.

You know what I was
thinking about?

Remember that story you told me
about when

you were in
the Phoenix airport?

Oh, sorry, uh, Mateo,

are we talking too loud
for you?

- You're fine.

- Okay, great.
Um, you were saying?

- Well, I was talking
about shelves.

- No, but you were about
to tell me that funny story,

about how when you were
in the Phoenix airport,

you saw Anna Wintour.

- [snorts]
Yeah.

Anna Wintour flew commercial
to Phoenix?

- Yeah, no, I-I thought
it was her,

but it just ended up being
some old white lady

with big sunglasses
and a bowl cut.

She was actually kinda racist.
She asked me to carry her bags.

- [laughs]
That is so funny.

You are so funny!
I just--

I wish I could go to dinner
with you and just, like,

hear your stories and laugh
and drink and laugh,

and I'm not mad
at the view either.

You know what I'm saying?
- Amy, stop.

♪

[sneakers squeaking]

- 12 minutes to go.
- I can do it in 11:45.

- Uh, sorry.
I just got another one.

- This side was feeling
light anyway.

- Wow.

- Do you feel guilty
about this?

- Nope.
- Me neither.

- Oh, what do you see now?

Is it a dragon?
I bet it is.

- I told you,

there's no dragons
in this game.

Why don't you put on
the headset

and then you can see and you
don't have to ask questions?

- You mean... play together?

- More like play the same game
at the same time.

- Whoa.

It's so dark, it really feels
like I'm in outer space.

- You have to
turn it on, Jerry.

[cars honking]

- All right!

The next five cars,
pull forward!

Ford, Chrysler, that means you!

By the way,

I appreciate
that you bought American!

- Wow, six orders at once.
This is impressive/terrifying.

- Wow, maybe we are
a waste of feet.

- Aww, traffic's moving.

Now what am I supposed to do
with these apology apples?

- [breathing heavily]

Having fun watching the show?
[horn honks]

Can't say I blame you.

I'd be watching me too

if I wasn't the one
doing the work.

- Oh, did they not want
those wine glasses?

- What?
Oh, crap.

- Order for Taylor!
You forgot your stemware!

[screams]

- Oh!
- Dina!

.

- Oh, my God, Dina, uh,

we gotta get you
to the hospital.

- Oh, you would just love that,
wouldn't you?

I'm not gonna give you
the satisfaction.

[phone chimes]
Ah!

Oh, oh.

Glenn, apologize
to the car I dented.

- Uh, okay.

It's probably two apples for...

- [groans]

- Dina...
- [breathing heavily]

[laughing]
[glass clinking]

This sounds a little damaged.

I should go get a new one.

- No, no, no, no, no.
Stop.

Forget about the order.

You're hurt.

- How much time do I have?

- 90 seconds.
- [groans]

- Oh, actually,
you only have 20--

- Cheyenne, Cheyenne,
she needs this.

- Oh.

- [groaning]

- Took some doing,
but these are solid.

I think I'm gonna head out.
- Now?

You're leaving now?
Already?

But, um, we should
probably, you know,

test the shelves,
make sure they, um,

can hold the weight.
- Of eyeglasses?

- Or, you know, whatever else
Mateo decides to put on there.

- It'll probably
just be glasses.

- Oh, look at you two
on the same page.

- Amy, stop.

- I really should check,
you know,

while you're here in the store
and the tools are out,

and--ow,
these are really strong.

- Yeah, you're welcome.
I'll see you tonight.

I've been told we're having
tri-tip many times.

- Oh, hey, Marcus,

will you help me figure out
if these shelves are stable?

- Oh, hell, yeah.
Let's do this.

[keys jingling]

[all shouting]

- Come on!
- Oh, my God!

- Uh, you guys saw.
She made me do this.

This is her fault.
- No!

Not my fault!

Your fault because the two
of you don't know

how to pick up on cues.

Eric, all you had to do
was tell a funny story.

You've got hundreds of them.
Well, dozens, anyway.

And Mateo...
[chuckles]

You dated Jeff.

Eric is way hotter than Jeff,

so how about the two
of you just start talking

so that your chill sister
can get back

into her hammock and swing?

- It makes me feel icky
when you call me hot.

- We're a hot family.

Everyone's talking
about it today.

Deal with it.

- Everyone is talking about it.

- [grunts]
- Yeah.

- Oh, nice, Jer!

You mostly blew yourself up,

but you distracted
a couple zombies.

- Yes!
High five!

Oh, stabbed you.

- It's all good, man.
I got health.

- [laughs]
- All right, here we go.

Cover me.

- Oh! Garrett!
I did it!

I built a barn!

- Uh, yeah, you know,
I think that was already there,

but, uh, good job, buddy.

- Buddy.

- Hey.

I'm, uh, sorry about the mess.

- Please, I should be
thanking you.

This is usually the most boring
corner of the store.

- Not today.
Look, I'm sorry about Amy too.

She means well.

She just tries
too hard sometimes.

- Uh, did you see the top
she was wearing?

She tries too hard
all the time.

- And, hey, if I knew
I was gonna meet someone,

I probably would have
tried harder myself.

- Well, you're lucky.
You pull it off.

[distant music playing]

- So, um,

you maybe want to
go out sometime?

Like, on a date?
A real date?

- Sure.
- Great.

- [laughs]

♪

- Obviously, we can
never tell Amy.

- Oh, God, never.
Yeah.

- Oh, hey, Dina.
- [groans]

- How's curbside going?
- Oh, went great.

- Oh, really?
Oh, well, good.

Corporate wanted to do

a 20-minute guarantee
for Black Friday.

I thought that'd be impossible,
but maybe not.

- [groans]