All language subtitles for Superstore (2015) - S05E05 - Self-Care (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 Silence)_track4_[eng]

.

- And while
it is wildly unconventional,

there's nothing in the manual

against wearing
a blue polo with a blue vest.

- It ain't natural.

- Okay, ten minutes
is enough on this.

We still have a lot to do
for our health and safety

inspection on Friday.

Marcus, can you please
make sure your guys

store all the new inventory
according to code?

- [groans]
Could we just have one day

without trucks to unload?

- No--you work in a warehouse.

I'm sorry,
that's your whole job.

- Fake apology--not accepted.
- Okay, that's fine.

Glenn, you're our
emergency captain, so...

- [groans]
- Come on, Glenn--you, too?

- Oh, no, I just have
a really bad headache.

You know, the kind
where your body tingles

all over
and your lungs shrink...

- Oh, my butt tingles
when I sit for too long.

- I'm thirsty.
I'm gonna get some water.

- Glenn, why don't you sit down

and someone else
can get you water?

- No, Glenn, that's not--
you're--that's my phone.

- Stop! Glenn, stop, please.

- What--just go on
with the meeting.

I'm just gonna
have a little fall.

[all gasping]

[upbeat music]

♪

- Glenn--are you okay?
We were so worried.

But then Earl egged
Sarah's car, so a lot of people

kind of moved over to that.

- Oh, yeah, no, I am fine.

In fact, I'm not
pre-diabetic anymore.

- You're cured?
How's that possible?

- Oh, no I'm not cured.

I'm just completely
diabetic now.

I bonked out because
my body thought that I had

too much sugar
in my bloodstream.

Agree to disagree.

But anyway, my doctor says
I can manage it all

with just a few
tweaks to my lifestyle.

- Tweaks?
You face plant

in the break room and your
doctor prescribes tweaks?

- Not bad, huh?

Looks like I picked
the right doctor.

- How could he not
notice your patchy skin,

your weight gain,
how your breath smells

like a Jolly Rancher no matter
what you've just eaten?

- Hey, Jerusha loves that.

Every morning she asks me
to breathe into her car.

- Okay...tweaks
aren't gonna cut it.

You need to do a complete
lifestyle overhaul.

I carried your baby for nine
months and I'm not gonna let

her get abandoned
the way I did.

It's not fun going
to a baseball game

with your principal
or learning how to skip stones

from a pamphlet
you had to send away for.

- I am not going
to abandon Rose.

The Sturgises
all live into their 90s.

We have kind of a deal...

Anyway, I'm gonna be fine.
Hey, Masoud!

Guess who's not
pre-diabetic anymore!

- So they finally got
the sprinklers working

for the inspection,
but I didn't get home

until 3:00 a.m.,
and then Parker was awake...

- I know, I'm so sorry.
I tried to put him back down,

but I think he finds
my stories too stimulating.

- What is this?

I--I asked you to put
up the Halloween decorations.

- You said St. Patrick's Day.

- Oh, my God, I'm sorry guys.

This is my bad.
I'm really tired.

Can you please just
make this into Halloween?

- [groans]
Come on.

I just got all this
stuff out of storage.

I saw a bunch of silverfish.
[grunts]

- You need to get more sleep.

- Oh, my God, did you just come
up with that all by yourself?

Are you a doctor?
'Cause I might just take a nap

right now, Mr. Sleep Doctor.

- I know you said that with
a nuclear level of sarcasm,

but I think you could
actually take a nap.

- Just in the middle
of my work day?

- You're ready for
the inspection tomorrow.

- I can't just take a...
I mean, of course I want to...

Oh, my God, why did you
even say the word nap?

I can now feel my whole
body just shutting down.

No--I am not gonna take a nap.
I'm gonna...

where am I going?

I was probably
going to my office.

I'll just start there.

- So you might be working
with Dan the optometrist?

Weird dude.

- I don't even care.
They can hire me because

it's run by a separate company.

Kind of like with
Dolly Parton and her husband,

who live under the same roof
but never talk to each other.

- Right, like that.
- But it doesn't matter.

These interviews all
go the same way anyway.

I slay with the Q&A,
it's electric...

then they ask for my Social
and I go, "I don't have one."

Then they go, "Thanks,
we'll be in touch."

Guess if they're ever
in touch, Garrett.

- It's pretty clear
from the context.

- They're not!
They're never in touch.

[upbeat music]

♪

- How did Elias get locked
in the storm shelter?

- Uh, I think he went
in there to sneak beans.

- That's weird--he eats beans
out in the open all the time.

It's not even locked.

[gasps]

- It's a Nap Attack.
- Welcome to the Nap Zone.

Cheyenne,
we agreed on Nap Zone.

- You agreed on it.

- You guys...
- Just a 15 minute power nap.

Look, I've recreated
your ideal sleep scenario.

Okay so warm light,

one pillow for your head,
one pillow to hug.

A laptop cued
to the 11 o'clock news...

- Oh, and here's my night
guard, in case you need it.

- Um...no, thank you.

Guys...I'm the manager
of the store.

I can't take a nap.

- Oh, come on.
You need to recharge a little.

You don't wanna
end up collapsing

in the store like Glenn.

- Yeah, or, like,
falling asleep on the toilet

with your underwear
around your ankles,

so when we find you,
it looks like you passed out

from pooing too hard,
and then every time we look

at you we're gonna think,
"Oh, my God, that's the lady

that pooed so hard
she passed out."

Is that what you want?

- No, I--I honestly can't say
that I want any of that.

- Mm-hmm.
- [sighs]

I really do need it.

Okay, I'm gonna take a nap.
- Yes!

- Yes!
You just got nap trapped.

- In--in the Nap Zone, right.
Yeah.

- What the...
Hey!

Grilled chicken
is on the list of approved

foods from my doctor!

- The doctor that
probably gets free vacations

courtesy of Big Chicken.

You're a vegan now.

I got you a kale salad
from the café.

- Dina, look,
I appreciate your concern,

but I can take care
of my own health.

[blows]

There.
Good as new.

- Well you're clearly qualified
and I've always thought

you were one
of the coolest guys here.

You waved at me once,
do you remember?

- Yes, of course.
Yeah.

I was like--
and you were like...

- Yeah, exactly.
Yes, right.

Well, anyway.

You got the job.
Can you start today?

- Yes, definitely!
I'd love to.

- Great,
I'll show you the ropes.

Oh, my God--that's just
a figure of speech,

you know that, right?
There's no ropes.

- Got that.

Uh, don't you need
my info, though?

- Oh, whoops!
How silly of me.

I completely forgot to do
any sort of paperwork.

I didn't really forget.

It's because
you're undocumented.

- Oh.

So, you know.

- Know what?

Did you see
the--the wink I did?

- Oh, my God.
Thank you so much.

You really are doing
a great thing for me.

- I know.
I read this thing online

about "white savior complex,"
and I guess that's me.

- Did you read the whole thing?
- Wow.

Dan, the White Savior.
Wow.

- Wow, yeah.

- Amy...time to wake-y.
- Hey, hey, hey.

She really needs this and we
can cover for her, right?

Plus, you know,
waking someone up in the middle

of a REM cycle
can be very jarring.

- I get it.

Bo's the same way
with his soup.

He's always like, "I gotta
finish this round of soup!"

- Yeah, yeah.
It's the same thing.

- Pretty good, right?
- I don't know...

I'm not sure how often
Amy stands motionless

with her face against the door.
[phone ringing]

- Oh.
- No, no, no, no.

- Amy Sosa speaking.
- What are you doing?

- Absolutely.
- Is Amy in?

- Uh, yes,
she just stepped out.

Tell them you'll
call them back.

- She wanted me to put
in a display for some

of our new hot sauces.
Just need you to sign here.

- I have you on
speakerphone in my Volvo.

- Just anything--
an X, a scribble...

- Uh, yeah.
There you go.

- Oh, stock market?
A lot going on there.

- Hang up the phone.
- Oh, hey.

I just need the keys
to the storm shelter.

I like to call Jerry
from somewhere private.

Our conversations
can get a little NSFW.

- Uh...no, you can't--
you can't do that.

First, it's still W
and second, you can't go

to the storm shelter because
there's a surprise there.

- Oh, my God, is it a puppy?
- Uh, yes, it's that.

Uh, Amy got a puppy for
the store and it's sleeping,

so you can't go in there.

- Aw, it'll be so cute!

- I make $109,000 a year.

It is.
It's a thrill.

- So I'm thinking
of moving some of these

uglier frames to the back.

- Wait, those look
like my frames.

Are these ugly?

- No--I just meant
they were, um...

have you ever thought
about something like these?

- I really don't think
about my appearance that much.

I kind of let my
personality speak for itself.

- You should try these on.

- Wow.
[laughs]

Hey...

do something else on me.

- Well, we could
loosen you up a bit.

- All right.
- Okay...

There you go.

- Hey...man.

Hello, Nate Silver.

- It's the best!
I'm not just Dan's assistant,

I'm also his personal stylist.

We spent lunch
shopping for him.

- So you have two jobs,
one paycheck, and no lunch.

- You're missing
the point, okay?

Dan is the only person here
who appreciates the wisdom

I have to offer.
- Oh, really, yeah?

What--what wisdom
is it that I'm missing out on?

- Well, you dress like a kid
from a cereal commercial

and you put way too much
energy into the shoe thing.

But I guess at least you
figured out the beard trick.

- Beard trick?
- I just mean how you use it

to hide your weak chin.

- No, I don't have a weak chin.
I just like having a beard.

- Sorry, Garrett--looks
like our chin secret's out.

- No, we don't
share a chin secret.

- Excuse me.
I'm not the kind of person

who likes to complain
and I am not the kind of person

who's easily offended,
but I have a complaint

about that display.

It's offensive.

- I'm sorry, what display?

- Fire in the hole!

- I can see how it might
not be for everyone.

- Oh, my gosh,
that vendor is always trying

to push that hot sauce on us.

Can't believe Amy fell for it.

- Yeah, she really
dropped the ball.

- Mateo,
you have changed my life.

You're a genius.

- Well, I wouldn't say genius.
Style icon, maybe.

Social influencer?

I mean, yeah,
at the very least.

- Oh, it's my wife.
She's making salmon tonight.

Ah, it's so dry.

- [groans]

- Hang on--you always
know what to do and say.

Maybe you could call her for me

and let her know
I hate her salmon.

- Uh...yeah,
I could--I could do that.

I'm sorry, um...I just--

technically I don't
think it's part of my job.

- Well, technically...

you probably shouldn't
even have the job, you know,

'cause the whole
undocumented thing, so...

we're kind of off
the map here, huh?

We're helping each other out.

Doing each other
a couple of solids.

Two guys, two solids.

And...there we go.

- Hi, this is Mateo.
I--I work with your husband.

Um...what's for dinner?

- That's perfect--
that's perfect.

- So first you say
Glenn is needed in Housewares,

then Softlines,
then the Garden Center.

Shorter intervals each time.

I'm trying to get him
in shape because...

- Got it, messing with Glenn.
I don't care why.

Uh, while I have you here...

you don't think I have
a weak chin, do you?

- No--I assume you have
no chin, hence the beard.

- No, no, no.
I have a chin.

You can come feel it.

- I can't believe Amy would
approve something like this.

- I think she did, though.
I think she signed

for it in her office.

- So we need to take this thing
down and cover butthole

on every single bottle
so we can re-shelve them?

- That's a lot
of buttholes, Jonah.

- I know, Sayid.
It's a ton of buttholes,

but Amy said that the store

is responsible
for the product, now, so...

- Where is Amy, anyway?
- She's busy.

She's very, very busy.

- Mm-hmm, yeah.
Awake and busy.

- Is Amy sleeping?

- [laughing]
- No.

- What are you even
saying right now?

[laughing]
That is so random.

- She is--she's sleeping.
- Guys, okay, look.

She's been
working very hard.

- Unlike us?
I haven't stopped working

since my shift started.

- Yeah, that's--that's
kind of the deal.

- You guys, I found
one more butthole.

It's Amy.

- [laughing]
This is going so bad.

.

- Look, guys, I'm sorry.
I--it was supposed

to be a really quick,

15 minute power nap.

But my alarm decided
it knew better than me,

and let me sleep
for four hours.

- It sounds like your alarm
just wanted you to have

a little self care, you know?

- Well, I think self care means
the self is doing the care.

- She's been up late
all week with this inspection

and Parker's been a little
difficult lately, so...

- [groans]
Amy's not the only one

with kids here.
- Marcus, you don't have kids.

- No, but Janet does.

And one of these days,
she's gonna let me watch them.

- No, I'm not.
- What about non-parents?

We need self care, too.
I've been working so hard

I've barely had time
to get frozen custard.

I had to Postmates it.

- Look, guys--
can we just please

move past this
and get back to work?

- Oh, so we have to work while
you lie on a diamond bed

and have unicorns
feed you grapes?

- Yeah, if you can do self care
at work, why can't we?

- Fine--you know what,

if you feel like
you need some self care,

then you should take
a break every now and then.

- Fine, we're doing
it right now.

I'm gonna self care so hard.
Come on.

- Right now is probably
not the best...

'cause we have an inspection...

- I think we'll all feel better
once we cuddle with the puppy.

- Oh, Sandra...
there is no puppy.

- You [bleep] us, Amy!

- Wow, this guy's got you
shopping for his wife now?

- Okay, look.
In my situation

you gotta do what you gotta do.
Okay, and sometimes that means

buying shorts for a woman
who gave me no information

about her body type
other than it was quote,

"James Corden in 'Cats.'"

- Buddy, I think
you're working too hard.

Maybe you should start
messing things up and Dan

will stop asking you
to do stuff.

- You don't get it, okay?

Why are you covering your chin?
- I'm not.

I'm just--I'm thinking, dude.

I'm thinking
about your problem.

[sighs]
Quite the conundrum, indeed.

- [moans]

- Attention Cloud Nine
team members,

we need associates
on checkouts

two, three, and four.

If anybody out there feels
like they've made their point,

could you please
get back to work?

Thank you.

- Hey, Amy, this is Wendell,

who you spoke with
over the phone?

Remember, when you were
being super professional

and you agreed to move
the health and safety

inspection to today?

- Yes, hi--how could I forget?

Uh, Wendell,

so nice to put a face
to such a familiar voice.

- Maybe we could
start in the café.

- Um...no, no, not the café.

Why don't we start somewhere
else, like, um--not jewelry.

The--let's start
in the parking lot.

Yeah, this way.

- I just found
baby carrots in my pockets.

- Weird...
might as well eat 'em.

- Dina, I know what
you're doing and this has

nothing to do with my diabetes.

It's about your unresolved
feelings toward your father.

Which is why
I did a little research

and I tracked down
somebody special.

- Glenn...

- Hang on a second.

He's almost here.

- Oh, no.
- Oh, hey there, Dina.

It's me, your dad.

Mr. Foxx.

- Glenn.
- Glenn Foxx.

- That wasn't his name.
I'm stopping you

because this is dumb.

- Come on, Dina.
Isn't there anything

you wanna say to me?
Your--your dad?

- I guess I've always
wished that you'd been around

to teach me how to ride a bike.

- [gasps]
Great.

Well, maybe I can help you
get some closure there.

- Okay, yeah.
That would be nice.

- How is this teaching
you to ride a bike?

- Oh, I'm a visual learner.

- As you can see,
a very healthy, very safe

Housewares section.

So, should we head over
to Sporting Goods?

- Sporting Goods.
- Great.

- So, again, we're on
our way to Sporting Goods.

- Go, go, go, go.
- Sporting Goods.

- Carol is whole.
Carol is beautiful.

Carol is...

- The inspector came early!
You can't have candles in here.

- Okay! Where am I supposed to
put them?

- Who cares? Just get it out of
here.

- Come on, come on.
- I'm going, I'm going.

- Wow, nice work.
- Hmm?

- Uh--nice work, you--

inspecting the hell
out of this store.

- Hot towel?
- You guys need to clean

all of this up.
Amy's on her way with...

- So you wanna see Grocery
instead of Furniture?

Are you sure you don't
wanna see Furniture first?

It really sets
the context for Grocery...

- Fire in the hole.

- Okay, that--that was not
on fire when I approved it.

.

- I'll start
with the positives.

Most of your store
was not on fire.

Unfortunately,
the part that was on fire

knocked your
score down to a 65.

- Oh, my God.

Look, Wendell, could we maybe

just, please,
schedule a do-over?

- Oh, no, no, no, no.
You passed.

You only needed a 60.

- What?
- We passed?

- Did you see
all the raccoons out...

- Cheyenne,
stop trying to help.

- I use mine all the time.

Soups, stews--
pretty much any wet food.

- Okay, great,
and what is the return policy?

- And this is a linen blend,
so it should have that

"boardroom to boardwalk"
feel she wanted.

- Thank you, Mateo.
Her legs really need the win.

By the way, you know,
you really got in her head

about the salmon thing,

so I was thinking it might
just be easier if you

came over and cooked
dinner for us tonight.

- Oh...

uh...

Whoops!
I'm so clumsy.

God, you probably can't even
trust me with dinner.

I would just drop
it all over the floor.

- Relax, it's fine.
I mean, what am I gonna do?

Ask someone else?
I mean, someone documented

probably wouldn't do any
of this stuff anyway, right?

- I guess not.

- So, anyway--
toward the end of dinner,

I'm gonna go to the bathroom
and then you can tell Donna

I'm not ready to have kids.

- What?
I'm supposed to tell

your wife that?
Absolutely not.

- Huh?

- My job is not
to fix your life, okay?

It's to work
in the Vision Center.

And maybe the fun fashion
stuff, but that's it.

- Mateo, you're right.

I've been exploiting you.

I wasn't meaning to, but you--
you're just so cool

and you know so much and I
thought it was just, you know,

a standard exchange of solids.

God, I feel like
a terrible person.

- Well, I wouldn't
say that you're...

- No, I am.

Now let's put our heads
together and figure out

how you're gonna
make me a better one.

- Fine, Dina.

You know what?
Here.

Is that what you wanted?
Hmm?

I'll eat your stupid kale.

- You know what, Glenn?
I don't care.

I'll just go back
to waiting for you to die.

Congratulations, Rose!
Welcome to the Bad Dad club.

- I am not a bad dad.
I am a great dad!

There, you happy?

Is it all gone?

- Your mouth
is entirely full of kale.

- [groans]

- So Dan the Optometrist,
he seems charming?

- He's a giant weirdo,
but the Vision Center's

not too busy and the WiFi
in that corner is super fast.

- Good night, guys.
- Holy...

- Whoa.
- Yeah, I shaved.

- At work?
- Had to do it to 'em.

Some people were
doubting my chin.

- Well...you showed them.

- Hey, man, I can cover
for you till it grows back,

if you want.
- Yeah, I appreciate that.

Should be about
a week and a half.