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1
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.
2
00:00:01,697 --> 00:00:03,003
- I've got three rules.
3
00:00:03,046 --> 00:00:04,221
Don't date co-workers,
4
00:00:04,265 --> 00:00:06,223
don't move in with
co-workers you date,
5
00:00:06,267 --> 00:00:10,140
and don't dump co-workers
you live with and date.
6
00:00:11,446 --> 00:00:14,318
- Can I move back
in with you?
7
00:00:14,362 --> 00:00:15,580
- Ugh.
8
00:00:15,624 --> 00:00:18,670
[upbeat music]
9
00:00:21,543 --> 00:00:24,067
- So, Neil Penderson,
that's our CEO,
10
00:00:24,111 --> 00:00:26,417
will speak first,
followed by Glenn,
11
00:00:26,461 --> 00:00:29,246
and then Neil will take
a few more questions.
12
00:00:29,290 --> 00:00:31,205
Let's try and remember
this event is going to be
13
00:00:31,248 --> 00:00:33,555
live-streamed,
so let's try to
14
00:00:33,598 --> 00:00:35,992
avoid anything
controversial, okay?
15
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,689
- Laurie, by live-stream
16
00:00:37,733 --> 00:00:39,343
do you mean in
the conventional sense,
17
00:00:39,387 --> 00:00:41,084
like running water or...
18
00:00:41,128 --> 00:00:43,173
- No, I mean you're
going to be filmed
19
00:00:43,217 --> 00:00:45,045
and then broadcast live
to all of our stores.
20
00:00:45,088 --> 00:00:46,176
- Oh!
21
00:00:46,220 --> 00:00:48,048
- I'm sorry,
isn't the whole point
22
00:00:48,091 --> 00:00:49,875
of a town hall
that you can ask anything?
23
00:00:49,919 --> 00:00:52,400
- Oh, no, Jonah, are you
upset because they told you
24
00:00:52,443 --> 00:00:55,968
it was one thing then yanked
the rug out from under you?
25
00:00:56,012 --> 00:00:58,014
- Ohhhh.
[indistinct murmurs]
26
00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,407
- When you say
all of the stores,
27
00:00:59,450 --> 00:01:01,539
do you mean all the stores
in the St. Louis area--
28
00:01:01,583 --> 00:01:04,629
- I mean all of our stores
across the globe.
29
00:01:04,673 --> 00:01:06,109
- So, Earth.
30
00:01:06,153 --> 00:01:07,719
That's fun.
31
00:01:07,763 --> 00:01:09,417
- Ooh, I'm going to ask
what's the craziest
32
00:01:09,460 --> 00:01:10,983
rich person thing
he's ever done.
33
00:01:11,027 --> 00:01:12,594
- I bet it's something like
34
00:01:12,637 --> 00:01:14,900
blowing up a cow
with a bazooka,
35
00:01:14,944 --> 00:01:16,554
or hunting a person.
36
00:01:16,598 --> 00:01:19,122
- Oh, that dude's definitely
played the most dangerous game.
37
00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:21,124
- I'm...going to...
38
00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:23,170
add that area
to this list.
39
00:01:23,213 --> 00:01:25,128
- Uh, why can't we talk
about Myrtle?
40
00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:27,130
- Uh, because we had
to fire Myrtle.
41
00:01:27,174 --> 00:01:29,698
So we don't need people asking
those kinds of questions.
42
00:01:29,741 --> 00:01:31,265
- What kind of questions?
43
00:01:31,308 --> 00:01:32,918
- You know, who knows?
44
00:01:32,962 --> 00:01:36,748
We're not hiding anything,
so I really couldn't guess.
45
00:01:36,792 --> 00:01:40,404
- 7.594 billion people.
46
00:01:40,448 --> 00:01:43,929
How are we not sinking?
I feel like I'm sinking.
47
00:01:43,973 --> 00:01:47,107
[gentle music]
48
00:01:47,150 --> 00:01:50,893
♪
49
00:01:50,936 --> 00:01:54,418
- Oh. Hi.
50
00:01:54,462 --> 00:01:56,812
- Hi.
51
00:01:56,855 --> 00:01:58,161
- What are you
doing in here?
52
00:01:58,205 --> 00:02:00,207
- I'm guessing
the same thing as you?
53
00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:02,034
- Oh, right,
'cause you know me so well.
54
00:02:02,078 --> 00:02:05,386
- Okay, fine, what Laurie said
about firing Myrtle was weird,
55
00:02:05,429 --> 00:02:06,952
so I thought
I'd check her file.
56
00:02:06,996 --> 00:02:07,953
What are you doing?
57
00:02:07,997 --> 00:02:10,304
- Same thing.
58
00:02:10,347 --> 00:02:13,045
- Well, I think
I can handle it, so...
59
00:02:13,089 --> 00:02:14,351
- Well, you don't know
where it is.
60
00:02:14,395 --> 00:02:15,526
- It's alphabetical.
61
00:02:15,570 --> 00:02:17,354
- Do you know her last name?
62
00:02:19,748 --> 00:02:22,490
Or were you just checking
under "M" for Myrtle.
63
00:02:22,533 --> 00:02:26,015
- She's in my phone
as "Myrtle Old."
64
00:02:26,058 --> 00:02:29,149
- Hmm.
Yeah, check "O" for Old.
65
00:02:29,192 --> 00:02:32,108
- ♪ Borderline
66
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:35,894
♪ Feels like I'm going
to lose my mind ♪
67
00:02:39,550 --> 00:02:41,204
- That's too many
of those things.
68
00:02:41,248 --> 00:02:44,076
- It's medicine.
You can't have too many.
69
00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:45,643
- Everything okay?
70
00:02:45,687 --> 00:02:48,994
- Do you know how many
countries we have stores in?
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00:02:49,038 --> 00:02:52,389
China, France,
India, Mexico.
72
00:02:52,433 --> 00:02:54,739
That's most
of the Small World ride.
73
00:02:54,783 --> 00:02:56,350
- Yeah, but the only people
who are going to see it
74
00:02:56,393 --> 00:02:57,960
are Cloud 9 employees
and the customers
75
00:02:58,003 --> 00:02:59,831
that happen to be there.
76
00:02:59,875 --> 00:03:01,833
- Yeah, I guess that's true.
77
00:03:01,877 --> 00:03:03,226
- And even if there's, like,
78
00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:05,359
a hundred people watching
in each store,
79
00:03:05,402 --> 00:03:06,577
how many stores
are there world-wide?
80
00:03:06,621 --> 00:03:08,405
- I don't know,
maybe 1,800.
81
00:03:08,449 --> 00:03:12,017
- Right, so that's
like only 180,000 people.
82
00:03:12,061 --> 00:03:15,020
Which is actually
a large number of people.
83
00:03:15,064 --> 00:03:17,545
- You're not helping.
84
00:03:17,588 --> 00:03:20,678
- Repeated absences,
bad attitude, insubordination.
85
00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:22,854
I'm surprised Myrtle
wasn't fired sooner.
86
00:03:22,898 --> 00:03:24,204
- No, look at these dates.
87
00:03:24,247 --> 00:03:25,814
All of these are within
the last six months.
88
00:03:25,857 --> 00:03:28,686
What--she just goes 30 years
without a single write-up
89
00:03:28,730 --> 00:03:30,558
and overnight
gets bad at her job?
90
00:03:30,601 --> 00:03:33,256
- Well, she was not great.
91
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,389
- No, I know, she's been
not great at her job
92
00:03:35,432 --> 00:03:37,260
for 30 years,
so why all of a sudden
93
00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:38,348
is Glenn writing her up?
94
00:03:38,392 --> 00:03:40,263
- It's not Glenn.
95
00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:43,353
Jeff Sutton,
Jeff Sutton, Jeff Sutton.
96
00:03:43,397 --> 00:03:44,876
Since when does
a district manager
97
00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:46,182
write up floor workers?
98
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,879
- We have to talk to Jeff.
99
00:03:47,923 --> 00:03:50,099
Or I have
to talk to Jeff.
100
00:03:50,142 --> 00:03:51,361
- Well, I want to
talk to him too.
101
00:03:51,405 --> 00:03:52,623
- Well, you can talk to
whoever you want.
102
00:03:52,667 --> 00:03:54,712
I'm not in charge
of who you talk to.
103
00:03:54,756 --> 00:03:57,149
- Jonah's a jerk,
by the way.
104
00:03:57,193 --> 00:03:59,630
You deserve
so much better.
105
00:03:59,674 --> 00:04:02,329
- Thanks.
I appreciate that.
106
00:04:02,372 --> 00:04:05,419
- So what are we
going to do to him?
107
00:04:05,462 --> 00:04:07,638
Revenge porn
on the Internet?
108
00:04:07,682 --> 00:04:11,642
Give his credit card
info to a bum?
109
00:04:11,686 --> 00:04:13,253
- Or...
110
00:04:13,296 --> 00:04:16,691
maybe someone tells the cops
he's cooking meth.
111
00:04:16,734 --> 00:04:18,954
Then, uh-oh,
there's an ounce of it
112
00:04:18,997 --> 00:04:20,390
found in his sock drawer.
113
00:04:20,434 --> 00:04:22,087
How'd that get there?
114
00:04:22,131 --> 00:04:24,612
- Wow, that's aggressive.
115
00:04:24,655 --> 00:04:26,831
- Or he's got two brothers.
116
00:04:26,875 --> 00:04:29,443
Be a shame if something
happened to them.
117
00:04:29,486 --> 00:04:31,271
Then he'd be all alone.
118
00:04:31,314 --> 00:04:33,011
- Well...
119
00:04:33,055 --> 00:04:34,448
I'm just going to go...
120
00:04:34,491 --> 00:04:36,319
- Well let me know, Carol.
121
00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:39,496
I've got nothing to lose
anymore.
122
00:04:42,978 --> 00:04:45,067
[sighs]
123
00:04:45,110 --> 00:04:46,329
- Thank you
for meeting with us.
124
00:04:46,373 --> 00:04:48,113
- Yeah, well,
that's the beauty
125
00:04:48,157 --> 00:04:51,116
of the ride-share game.
I go where I want when I want.
126
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:52,814
I meet tons of new people
and I get to listen
127
00:04:52,857 --> 00:04:55,338
to what's on their Spotify,
and I love it,
128
00:04:55,382 --> 00:04:57,471
and I'm really,
really loving it.
129
00:04:57,514 --> 00:04:59,299
- Cool.
That's cool.
130
00:04:59,342 --> 00:05:01,039
Can we talk about Myrtle?
- Yes.
131
00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:03,781
I'm sorry, okay, so, um...
132
00:05:03,825 --> 00:05:05,348
There was a mandate
to write up
133
00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:07,698
any employee over
the age of 70
134
00:05:07,742 --> 00:05:10,310
to give us a pretext
for firing them, okay?
135
00:05:10,353 --> 00:05:11,702
It didn't matter for what.
136
00:05:11,746 --> 00:05:14,401
I once wrote Myrtle up
for wearing gang colors,
137
00:05:14,444 --> 00:05:16,272
and I know she's not a Crip.
138
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,839
- Why would they do that?
139
00:05:17,882 --> 00:05:20,232
- Old people are slower,
they have higher medical costs.
140
00:05:20,276 --> 00:05:22,322
- I was asking Jeff.
141
00:05:22,365 --> 00:05:25,150
- Um...that.
142
00:05:25,194 --> 00:05:28,328
- So, what you're saying is
Myrtle is now out there
143
00:05:28,371 --> 00:05:29,677
collecting cans for coins
144
00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:31,809
because you needed
to increase the bottom line.
145
00:05:31,853 --> 00:05:33,942
- Look, that's just the
corporate culture over there.
146
00:05:33,985 --> 00:05:35,944
It's the mindset.
Anything is justified
147
00:05:35,987 --> 00:05:37,902
as long as
it saves a dollar.
148
00:05:37,946 --> 00:05:39,556
Believe me,
if there was something
149
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:42,472
I could do to change that,
I would.
150
00:05:42,516 --> 00:05:45,257
- Well, maybe there is.
151
00:05:45,301 --> 00:05:47,999
- Hi!
Are you Alejandro?
152
00:05:48,043 --> 00:05:50,306
- No, sorry.
153
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,787
- Oh, sorry, wrong car.
154
00:05:54,136 --> 00:05:56,660
- Alejandro has five stars.
155
00:05:56,704 --> 00:05:58,706
I'd love to meet him.
156
00:06:00,534 --> 00:06:00,925
.
157
00:06:00,969 --> 00:06:02,971
- We can't let corporate
get away with this.
158
00:06:03,014 --> 00:06:04,320
- Yeah, if Myrtle
can be fired
159
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,495
just because of her age
then who's next?
160
00:06:05,539 --> 00:06:06,670
- Probably Dale.
161
00:06:06,714 --> 00:06:07,976
- I think Henry's older,
actually.
162
00:06:08,019 --> 00:06:09,934
- It goes Henry,
Dale, Brett, Todd.
163
00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:11,153
- Dude, Todd's like 40.
164
00:06:11,196 --> 00:06:12,633
- Really? He looks bad for 40.
165
00:06:12,676 --> 00:06:14,025
- Have you seen
his wife though?
166
00:06:14,069 --> 00:06:15,375
Oh, she is so beautiful.
167
00:06:15,418 --> 00:06:16,941
- Okay, guys,
can we bring it back?
168
00:06:16,985 --> 00:06:18,203
- She's Nordic.
169
00:06:18,247 --> 00:06:20,031
- Mm.
- Look, there is a plan.
170
00:06:20,075 --> 00:06:23,687
It just means we all
have to work together.
171
00:06:23,731 --> 00:06:25,254
- Right, exactly.
- Mm-hmm. Yep.
172
00:06:25,297 --> 00:06:26,690
- So, you know how they're
going to live-stream
173
00:06:26,734 --> 00:06:29,127
the town hall meeting
to the entire company?
174
00:06:29,171 --> 00:06:32,827
Okay, so we're going to sneak
Jeff into that meeting.
175
00:06:32,870 --> 00:06:36,004
- And then, he's going to
stand up in front of the CEO,
176
00:06:36,047 --> 00:06:37,353
and the cameras,
177
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,355
and say why Myrtle
was really fired.
178
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,531
- Wait, you're asking us
to sign on for a plan
179
00:06:41,575 --> 00:06:43,272
where Jeff is the key?
180
00:06:43,315 --> 00:06:45,230
I mean, if it was any guy
named Jeff I'd be skeptical,
181
00:06:45,274 --> 00:06:47,319
but he's not even
one of the top Jeffs.
182
00:06:47,363 --> 00:06:48,799
- I'm right here, guys.
I'm on the phone.
183
00:06:48,843 --> 00:06:50,279
- I stand by what I said.
184
00:06:50,322 --> 00:06:51,846
- Couldn't they just say
Jeff is lying?
185
00:06:51,889 --> 00:06:54,196
- Yes, except that
an e-mail went around
186
00:06:54,239 --> 00:06:56,198
listing all
the employees over 70
187
00:06:56,241 --> 00:06:58,461
and how much money the company
would save if they were fired.
188
00:06:58,505 --> 00:07:00,376
- I don't have access to
the corporate server anymore,
189
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:01,595
but Laurie would
on her phone.
190
00:07:01,638 --> 00:07:03,031
- Bam, there's our proof.
191
00:07:03,074 --> 00:07:04,641
- And how are you going
to get her e-mail?
192
00:07:04,685 --> 00:07:08,297
- That is the part
that we have not figured out.
193
00:07:08,340 --> 00:07:10,038
- Okay, well, then I assume
you've figured out
194
00:07:10,081 --> 00:07:11,474
how to get Jeff past security
195
00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:14,390
or what to do if Laurie
or Neil recognize him.
196
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,784
Or how you're going to handle
them turning off the cameras
197
00:07:16,827 --> 00:07:18,176
once Jeff starts speaking.
198
00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:19,395
- So those are
the other parts
199
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:22,137
that we also haven't
figured out yet.
200
00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:23,486
- Mm, solid plan.
201
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:24,531
- I have to ask,
202
00:07:24,574 --> 00:07:26,228
is this the best day
to make waves?
203
00:07:26,271 --> 00:07:27,490
Because I have to speak
204
00:07:27,534 --> 00:07:29,144
in front of everyone
on the planet.
205
00:07:29,187 --> 00:07:31,102
- Yeah, and do we even
want Myrtle back?
206
00:07:31,146 --> 00:07:32,974
I mean,
she kind of sucked.
207
00:07:33,017 --> 00:07:35,237
- Did someone say my name?
208
00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:38,066
- Could you just tell us ahead
of time who all's on the phone?
209
00:07:38,109 --> 00:07:40,721
- ♪ If you're blue and
you don't know where to go ♪
210
00:07:40,764 --> 00:07:43,811
♪ Then why don't
you go where fashion sits ♪
211
00:07:43,854 --> 00:07:45,160
- So are you sure
being stuffed
212
00:07:45,203 --> 00:07:46,596
in a box in styrofoam
is safe?
213
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:49,077
- Yeah, it's totally safe.
They've done studies.
214
00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:51,427
- What kind of studies?
215
00:07:53,211 --> 00:07:54,735
- Okay, I'm going to chat up
216
00:07:54,778 --> 00:07:56,084
the security guard
to distract him
217
00:07:56,127 --> 00:07:57,477
while you drive
the forklift into the store.
218
00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,522
- Um, I don't know how
to drive a forklift.
219
00:07:59,566 --> 00:08:02,612
Maybe you could do it
and I could talk to the guard?
220
00:08:02,656 --> 00:08:04,005
- You have zero charisma.
221
00:08:04,048 --> 00:08:05,659
How are you possibly
going to chat up a guard?
222
00:08:05,702 --> 00:08:08,879
- I'm a little worried I might
run out of oxygen in here.
223
00:08:08,923 --> 00:08:10,925
- On it.
224
00:08:10,968 --> 00:08:13,101
- Hey! No! Wait! Ahh!
225
00:08:13,144 --> 00:08:14,885
- There's your air holes,
princess.
226
00:08:14,929 --> 00:08:17,105
- Thank you.
227
00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:19,934
- Hey, Laurie.
228
00:08:19,977 --> 00:08:22,763
I made up
this seating chart
229
00:08:22,806 --> 00:08:24,504
for the meeting today.
230
00:08:24,547 --> 00:08:26,549
I was going to do it
in height order
231
00:08:26,593 --> 00:08:28,682
but then it got
really female heavy in--
232
00:08:28,725 --> 00:08:31,598
- None of this matters.
I don't care where people sit.
233
00:08:31,641 --> 00:08:35,166
- Okay wait, I have
another question for you.
234
00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:38,648
Are you a lesbian?
235
00:08:41,042 --> 00:08:43,174
- People always ask,
how do I get enough protein?
236
00:08:43,218 --> 00:08:45,742
Well, I got two words for you,
beans and nuts.
237
00:08:45,786 --> 00:08:47,178
I always tell people
238
00:08:47,222 --> 00:08:48,963
I'm nuts about beans
and I'm beans about nuts.
239
00:08:49,006 --> 00:08:51,313
[laughs] I mean that second
half doesn't mean anything,
240
00:08:51,356 --> 00:08:52,575
but it sounds like something.
241
00:08:52,619 --> 00:08:54,359
It's more of a rhythm thing,
you know?
242
00:08:54,403 --> 00:08:57,711
- Just 'cause you were
golfing with another woman.
243
00:08:57,754 --> 00:09:01,323
I mean, not that two women
can't go golfing together.
244
00:09:01,366 --> 00:09:03,194
It just sort of felt like
there was a little bit
245
00:09:03,238 --> 00:09:07,459
of a thing going on
between the two of you.
246
00:09:07,503 --> 00:09:10,332
Anyway, if you're single,
my veterinarian
247
00:09:10,375 --> 00:09:13,074
just broke up
with her girlfriend
248
00:09:13,117 --> 00:09:16,599
and, um, you know...
249
00:09:16,643 --> 00:09:18,470
there is that.
250
00:09:18,514 --> 00:09:20,560
- You can put cashew cheese
on pretty much anything.
251
00:09:20,603 --> 00:09:22,692
And, I mean,
truthfully, right now,
252
00:09:22,736 --> 00:09:25,956
we are in a nut cheese
renaissance, which is amazing.
253
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,742
There's so many different
options, it's just like...
254
00:09:28,785 --> 00:09:31,179
- She's really pretty.
I mean, at least I think so.
255
00:09:31,222 --> 00:09:32,702
I don't really know
what your type is.
256
00:09:32,746 --> 00:09:34,574
But we haven't really
quite established
257
00:09:34,617 --> 00:09:36,924
whether or not
you are a lesbian,
258
00:09:36,967 --> 00:09:38,708
'cause you're just
staring at me.
259
00:09:38,752 --> 00:09:40,492
This is a conversation.
260
00:09:40,536 --> 00:09:42,669
You can jump right in.
The water's warm.
261
00:09:42,712 --> 00:09:44,366
You know what,
this is none of my business.
262
00:09:44,409 --> 00:09:45,759
- Yeah, not really.
263
00:09:45,802 --> 00:09:47,674
- You know what,
my daughter's principal
264
00:09:47,717 --> 00:09:49,719
just came out,
so that's another option.
265
00:09:49,763 --> 00:09:51,199
Just, back of mind.
266
00:09:51,242 --> 00:09:52,940
- I mean, they can
make milk out of
267
00:09:52,983 --> 00:09:55,203
cashews, almonds, soy.
268
00:09:55,246 --> 00:09:58,206
Then the grains,
rice milk, quinoa milk.
269
00:09:58,249 --> 00:10:00,295
I mean how do you
get milk out of quinoa?
270
00:10:00,338 --> 00:10:03,211
I have no idea about
the process, but it exists.
271
00:10:03,254 --> 00:10:06,083
- Ooh, we should disguise
Jeff as Lana Del Rey.
272
00:10:06,127 --> 00:10:07,737
He already
has long eyelashes.
273
00:10:07,781 --> 00:10:10,566
- Ooh, that is true, but
they still might recognize him.
274
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,394
- You think?
- Check it out.
275
00:10:12,437 --> 00:10:14,048
I got this camera patched
into their feed
276
00:10:14,091 --> 00:10:16,659
so if they stop filming
when Jeff starts talking,
277
00:10:16,703 --> 00:10:19,227
this little bad boy
keeps going.
278
00:10:19,270 --> 00:10:21,446
- Oh, I know,
we could give him a wig.
279
00:10:21,490 --> 00:10:24,232
- Yes!
Chey, you are such a genius.
280
00:10:24,275 --> 00:10:26,800
- Oh, stop it,
you are the genius.
281
00:10:26,843 --> 00:10:28,410
- You are.
- No.
282
00:10:28,453 --> 00:10:30,717
- You know what, it actually
was really tough to do.
283
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:33,328
I had to figure out
how to set up a router
284
00:10:33,371 --> 00:10:34,895
to transmit
into their signal.
285
00:10:34,938 --> 00:10:37,245
- Did someone
ask you to do that?
286
00:10:37,288 --> 00:10:39,943
- I'm just trying to be
part of the plan.
287
00:10:39,987 --> 00:10:42,729
both: Aww...
288
00:10:42,772 --> 00:10:43,904
- Feels weird to just be
289
00:10:43,947 --> 00:10:45,427
scrolling through
someone's e-mails.
290
00:10:45,470 --> 00:10:47,559
- Can't you just
search some keywords?
291
00:10:47,603 --> 00:10:48,735
- Like what?
292
00:10:48,778 --> 00:10:50,606
- I don't know,
ageism, discrimination.
293
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,739
- Oh, right,
"Hey team, how's the ageism
294
00:10:52,782 --> 00:10:53,914
discrimination going?"
295
00:10:53,957 --> 00:10:55,306
- That's a good point.
296
00:10:55,350 --> 00:10:58,701
- Oh, Jane Austen Superfan
Convention Pics?
297
00:10:58,745 --> 00:11:00,311
That's probably not it.
298
00:11:00,355 --> 00:11:03,575
- But, we should probably
open it just to be safe.
299
00:11:03,619 --> 00:11:06,840
- Yeah, let's not
take any chances.
300
00:11:06,883 --> 00:11:08,276
- Thanks.
301
00:11:08,319 --> 00:11:10,626
- Hey, so this is Glenn,
the general manager.
302
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,454
- Glenn, I've heard
a lot about you.
303
00:11:12,497 --> 00:11:14,674
- You have?
What did you hear?
304
00:11:14,717 --> 00:11:16,676
It's just that
there's another Glenn
305
00:11:16,719 --> 00:11:19,679
that works here
and people mix us up.
306
00:11:19,722 --> 00:11:22,769
Glenn is nice, though.
He's black.
307
00:11:22,812 --> 00:11:25,206
Not--not "he's nice,
though he's black."
308
00:11:25,249 --> 00:11:27,948
Just he's very nice
and very black.
309
00:11:27,991 --> 00:11:31,125
Maybe it would help if I did
an impression of him for you.
310
00:11:31,168 --> 00:11:33,388
Yo, yo, Glenn, my man,
can I get five--
311
00:11:33,431 --> 00:11:35,651
- [stammering]
That's not necessary.
312
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:38,654
We're good.
Thank you.
313
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:41,396
- He knows his people.
- He's great.
314
00:11:41,439 --> 00:11:43,180
- Not to be critical,
Cheyenne,
315
00:11:43,224 --> 00:11:44,704
but I feel stupid.
316
00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:46,836
- I think you look like
a hot, skinny Hagrid.
317
00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:48,490
- Ooh...
318
00:11:48,533 --> 00:11:50,057
That I can work with.
319
00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:52,276
- [imitating Hagrid]
Harry, 'ello Harry.
320
00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:54,888
Get me some
eye of newt, Harry!
321
00:11:54,931 --> 00:11:56,454
[normal voice]
Good, right?
322
00:11:56,498 --> 00:11:58,282
- Hey, okay, they haven't
found the e-mail yet.
323
00:11:58,326 --> 00:11:59,806
- What?
- Don't worry.
324
00:11:59,849 --> 00:12:01,416
They're going to get it
to you during the meeting.
325
00:12:01,459 --> 00:12:02,547
Don't freak out.
You're going to be fine.
326
00:12:02,591 --> 00:12:05,768
You look incredibly stupid.
327
00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:07,727
- Thank you.
328
00:12:11,121 --> 00:12:11,339
.
329
00:12:11,382 --> 00:12:13,515
- As you all know,
330
00:12:13,558 --> 00:12:15,952
a year ago this store
was hit by a tornado.
331
00:12:15,996 --> 00:12:17,345
But they rebuilt.
332
00:12:17,388 --> 00:12:19,869
And the man leading
that rebuilding
333
00:12:19,913 --> 00:12:22,872
is a man who represents
the best of Cloud 9,
334
00:12:22,916 --> 00:12:24,134
Glenn Sturgis!
335
00:12:24,178 --> 00:12:27,659
[applause]
336
00:12:27,703 --> 00:12:30,575
Here you go, Glenn.
337
00:12:30,619 --> 00:12:33,143
- Thank you, Neil.
338
00:12:33,187 --> 00:12:36,494
You know,
I love this store.
339
00:12:36,538 --> 00:12:38,801
Cloud 9 is more than just--
340
00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:40,847
[soft flatulence]
341
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:56,340
- I'm sure it's hard
to find the words.
342
00:12:56,384 --> 00:12:58,386
But let me just say
on behalf of all of us--
343
00:12:58,429 --> 00:13:00,170
- That wasn't me.
344
00:13:00,214 --> 00:13:02,694
- I know.
No, it's fine.
345
00:13:02,738 --> 00:13:03,826
- It was him.
346
00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:05,480
So if you're laughing,
347
00:13:05,523 --> 00:13:08,657
you are laughing
at our CEO.
348
00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:10,267
I'm--I'm sorry,
Neil, go on.
349
00:13:10,311 --> 00:13:11,878
- Um, okay.
350
00:13:11,921 --> 00:13:14,750
Okay, and, um, just for
the record it wasn't--
351
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,752
you know what,
doesn't matter.
352
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,319
- Yeah, it doesn't matter.
353
00:13:18,362 --> 00:13:19,842
You had a human moment.
354
00:13:19,886 --> 00:13:21,844
Could have happened to anyone.
This time it was you.
355
00:13:21,888 --> 00:13:23,063
- I'm not the one
who farted.
356
00:13:23,106 --> 00:13:24,804
- Then how do you know
what happened?
357
00:13:24,847 --> 00:13:26,153
For someone
who's so innocent,
358
00:13:26,196 --> 00:13:28,546
you sure seem to have
a lot of information.
359
00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:30,722
- You're the one who farted.
- You farted.
360
00:13:30,766 --> 00:13:32,899
- No, you--
- You farted!
361
00:13:34,726 --> 00:13:36,424
- Thank you, Glenn.
362
00:13:38,382 --> 00:13:40,428
[scattered applause]
363
00:13:42,169 --> 00:13:44,258
- He farted.
- Yeah, yeah, sure.
364
00:13:44,301 --> 00:13:46,869
- Right on me, and then
I dragged it over here.
365
00:13:46,913 --> 00:13:48,392
- Did you find anything yet?
366
00:13:48,436 --> 00:13:50,873
- Well, she Postmated
three times last night.
367
00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:52,266
Whoa.
What's the story there?
368
00:13:52,309 --> 00:13:55,225
- We don't have a lot of time.
- Oh, right.
369
00:13:55,269 --> 00:13:59,055
Oh, okay, minimizing costs
by downsizing legacy employees.
370
00:13:59,099 --> 00:14:01,318
- Yeah, that.
Pr--that. Print that.
371
00:14:01,362 --> 00:14:03,712
- On it. Print.
372
00:14:03,755 --> 00:14:06,236
Wait, she Postmated
ramen this morning?
373
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:08,238
Ugh, what's going on
with her?
374
00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:10,937
- Hi, I am interested in
your decision-making process
375
00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:12,242
for new products.
376
00:14:12,286 --> 00:14:14,244
- Ah, great question.
We like to pay--
377
00:14:14,288 --> 00:14:15,724
- Let's just say
I'm an entrepreneur,
378
00:14:15,767 --> 00:14:16,899
which I am.
379
00:14:16,943 --> 00:14:18,858
I am the founder and CEO
380
00:14:18,901 --> 00:14:20,903
of Boob Cheese,
cheese from humans.
381
00:14:20,947 --> 00:14:22,252
Now, breast milk is...
382
00:14:22,296 --> 00:14:23,645
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Where are you going?
383
00:14:23,688 --> 00:14:25,212
- To the meeting.
384
00:14:25,255 --> 00:14:27,344
- No, it's already started.
I can't let anyone through.
385
00:14:27,388 --> 00:14:29,869
- This is obviously
going to be a game-changer.
386
00:14:29,912 --> 00:14:32,001
Lots of stores that this
would be a great fit for,
387
00:14:32,045 --> 00:14:36,876
such as, for example,
Target, Wal-Mart, Costco.
388
00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:38,573
- No, but--but
we'll be so quiet,
389
00:14:38,616 --> 00:14:40,705
and--and we've really been
looking forward to this.
390
00:14:40,749 --> 00:14:43,012
- Besides, I think there are
some seats in the back.
391
00:14:43,056 --> 00:14:44,927
- Well, you'd have to walk
past the cameras
392
00:14:44,971 --> 00:14:46,842
to get there,
so if you can figure out
393
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:49,758
a way to like
teleport there,
394
00:14:49,801 --> 00:14:51,803
or tunnel underneath,
be my guest.
395
00:14:51,847 --> 00:14:53,544
- I'm sorry,
are you asking me
396
00:14:53,588 --> 00:14:56,808
to carry human cheese
in our stores?
397
00:14:56,852 --> 00:15:00,725
- Oh!
I hadn't really--
398
00:15:00,769 --> 00:15:02,205
This is unexpected.
399
00:15:02,249 --> 00:15:04,947
Yes! Yes!
Why not? Let's do it!
400
00:15:04,991 --> 00:15:06,949
- Laurie, I promise
nobody will notice us.
401
00:15:06,993 --> 00:15:08,168
- No--no--no, Jonah,
it's okay.
402
00:15:08,211 --> 00:15:10,300
We're fine.
We're cool.
403
00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:12,476
- We cool?
404
00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:16,959
- [coughs]
The tunnel.
405
00:15:17,003 --> 00:15:19,135
- [whispering]
The tunnel.
406
00:15:19,179 --> 00:15:22,269
- Well, I think
if you buy three packs
407
00:15:22,312 --> 00:15:25,315
of hot dogs
and four packs of buns,
408
00:15:25,359 --> 00:15:26,969
you should have
the right amount.
409
00:15:27,013 --> 00:15:28,797
All right, thank you.
Well, you know,
410
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:31,974
I can't think of a better way
to end than that.
411
00:15:32,018 --> 00:15:33,367
So I want to thank you for--
412
00:15:33,410 --> 00:15:35,499
- No, wait,
I have a question!
413
00:15:35,543 --> 00:15:37,066
- Uh...oh.
414
00:15:37,110 --> 00:15:40,852
I guess we have time
for one more.
415
00:15:40,896 --> 00:15:42,680
- Oh.
416
00:15:42,724 --> 00:15:44,334
One last question, huh?
417
00:15:44,378 --> 00:15:46,467
Guess I better make it
a good one then.
418
00:15:46,510 --> 00:15:48,077
[laughter]
419
00:15:48,121 --> 00:15:49,339
- [clears throat]
420
00:15:49,383 --> 00:15:50,558
How...
421
00:15:50,601 --> 00:15:52,081
do...
422
00:15:52,125 --> 00:15:54,083
- Oh, [bleep], Garrett
says they're wrapping up.
423
00:15:54,127 --> 00:15:56,172
We got to go.
- Oh.
424
00:15:56,216 --> 00:15:58,479
- I was born right here
425
00:15:58,522 --> 00:15:59,871
in St. Louis,
426
00:15:59,915 --> 00:16:01,525
and as you might know,
427
00:16:01,569 --> 00:16:05,138
St. Louis was originally
established as a hub
428
00:16:05,181 --> 00:16:06,966
for river-based trade.
429
00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:08,228
- What are you doing?
430
00:16:08,271 --> 00:16:10,012
- I'm just telling Garrett
we're hurrying.
431
00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:12,884
- Well, don't text it.
Just do the hurrying.
432
00:16:12,928 --> 00:16:16,888
- ♪ Oh Danny
433
00:16:16,932 --> 00:16:22,633
♪ Boy I love you
434
00:16:22,677 --> 00:16:25,245
♪ So
435
00:16:25,288 --> 00:16:29,031
And that was
my great-great grandfather.
436
00:16:29,075 --> 00:16:30,598
He's not relevant to this.
437
00:16:30,641 --> 00:16:33,775
- Ugh, I touched rat droppings.
I need to wash my hands.
438
00:16:33,818 --> 00:16:36,038
- There's no time!
Just don't touch your face.
439
00:16:36,082 --> 00:16:38,736
- No! Now that's
all I want to do.
440
00:16:38,780 --> 00:16:40,564
- So, I'm 18,
441
00:16:40,608 --> 00:16:43,959
and I've woken up in Wahaca,
covered in furs.
442
00:16:45,917 --> 00:16:47,223
You know what?
Never mind.
443
00:16:47,267 --> 00:16:48,920
My question was
about self-checkouts,
444
00:16:48,964 --> 00:16:51,053
and I just remembered you
already answered it earlier.
445
00:16:51,097 --> 00:16:53,099
So I'm going to yield my time.
Thank you.
446
00:16:53,142 --> 00:16:54,926
- [clears throat]
447
00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:57,233
- Well, this has been great.
448
00:16:57,277 --> 00:16:58,539
I want to thank you all--
449
00:16:58,582 --> 00:17:00,062
- Hold on!
450
00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:01,411
I've got a question.
451
00:17:01,455 --> 00:17:03,674
- Look, I'm really glad
452
00:17:03,718 --> 00:17:06,112
to see all this excitement
from our employees--
453
00:17:06,155 --> 00:17:07,809
- I'm not an employee.
454
00:17:07,852 --> 00:17:10,377
It's me!
455
00:17:11,987 --> 00:17:13,423
Jeff Sutton!
456
00:17:13,467 --> 00:17:15,121
- [gasps]
457
00:17:15,164 --> 00:17:17,297
Oh, right,
I forgot for a second.
458
00:17:20,648 --> 00:17:20,822
.
459
00:17:20,865 --> 00:17:22,215
- I'm sorry, I don't...
460
00:17:22,258 --> 00:17:24,608
- Jeff Sutton.
461
00:17:24,652 --> 00:17:27,394
I was the district manager
before Laurie.
462
00:17:27,437 --> 00:17:28,830
I worked with you
for 12 years.
463
00:17:28,873 --> 00:17:31,137
At the counter,
I got your latte
464
00:17:31,180 --> 00:17:32,486
that time
and you got my tea.
465
00:17:32,529 --> 00:17:33,661
- Hmm.
466
00:17:33,704 --> 00:17:35,097
- You know what?
It doesn't matter.
467
00:17:35,141 --> 00:17:36,229
It's not about me.
468
00:17:36,272 --> 00:17:38,057
It's about
another former employee
469
00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:39,362
named Myrtle Vartanian.
470
00:17:39,406 --> 00:17:40,581
- Okay, you know what?
471
00:17:40,624 --> 00:17:41,886
I think we're really
out of time here.
472
00:17:41,930 --> 00:17:43,758
- Who's Myrtle Vartanian?
473
00:17:43,801 --> 00:17:45,368
- Myrtle is one of our more
474
00:17:45,412 --> 00:17:49,155
experienced employees
who was unfortunately let go
475
00:17:49,198 --> 00:17:50,721
due to performance issues.
476
00:17:50,765 --> 00:17:53,202
- Except it wasn't
because of performance issues.
477
00:17:53,246 --> 00:17:54,464
- Oh! Jeff Sutton!
478
00:17:54,508 --> 00:17:56,423
Well, of course
I remember you.
479
00:17:56,466 --> 00:17:57,946
Always drinking tea.
480
00:17:57,989 --> 00:18:00,035
- Yes!
Jeff Sutton, that's me.
481
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:01,428
- What is this?
What's happening?
482
00:18:01,471 --> 00:18:02,516
- It's not good.
483
00:18:02,559 --> 00:18:03,821
- Myrtle.
484
00:18:03,865 --> 00:18:07,042
- Yeah! Myrtle was
an employee here, and--
485
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,131
- You know what?
If I could ever persuade you
486
00:18:09,175 --> 00:18:11,264
to come back to Cloud 9,
487
00:18:11,307 --> 00:18:15,268
we could definitely
use a guy like you in Chicago.
488
00:18:15,311 --> 00:18:17,270
- Chicago?
489
00:18:17,313 --> 00:18:18,880
Hmm. Wow.
490
00:18:18,923 --> 00:18:21,883
- No, Jeff, no, no, no, no.
- Yep.
491
00:18:21,926 --> 00:18:23,580
- Anyway, you know what,
I'm sorry.
492
00:18:23,624 --> 00:18:24,929
I interrupted you,
didn't I?
493
00:18:24,973 --> 00:18:27,671
What were you saying
about Myrtle?
494
00:18:32,023 --> 00:18:34,287
- Myrtle was a gang member,
and that's the reason
495
00:18:34,330 --> 00:18:36,724
we had to let her go.
496
00:18:36,767 --> 00:18:39,205
- That's why
you never trust a Jeff.
497
00:18:39,248 --> 00:18:40,989
♪
498
00:18:41,032 --> 00:18:43,034
- What a weasel!
499
00:18:43,078 --> 00:18:44,775
- Jeff or Neil?
500
00:18:44,819 --> 00:18:46,473
- Jeff!
And Neil!
501
00:18:46,516 --> 00:18:47,604
And Laurie, too.
502
00:18:47,648 --> 00:18:49,737
Just a whole
company of weasels.
503
00:18:49,780 --> 00:18:51,130
- [chuckles]
Yeah.
504
00:18:51,173 --> 00:18:53,001
- And you know what
the worst part is?
505
00:18:53,044 --> 00:18:54,307
- Myrtle?
506
00:18:54,350 --> 00:18:55,917
- Yeah, of course,
Myrtle.
507
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:57,832
You know what the second
worst part is?
508
00:18:57,875 --> 00:18:58,833
- Huh?
509
00:18:58,876 --> 00:19:00,617
- That I was
stupid enough to think
510
00:19:00,661 --> 00:19:02,663
something might actually
work out in this store.
511
00:19:02,706 --> 00:19:05,405
- I always kind of feel like
512
00:19:05,448 --> 00:19:06,623
things are going
to work out.
513
00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:08,495
- Yeah, you do, don't you?
514
00:19:08,538 --> 00:19:10,192
What's wrong with you?
515
00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:13,021
- Hey! There's my team.
516
00:19:13,064 --> 00:19:14,240
- Oh, nice suit.
517
00:19:14,283 --> 00:19:16,198
Is that from our
Benedict Arnold Collection?
518
00:19:16,242 --> 00:19:19,027
- Look, I know how
this promotion might look,
519
00:19:19,070 --> 00:19:20,420
but believe me
when I tell you
520
00:19:20,463 --> 00:19:21,856
this is a good thing
for all of us.
521
00:19:21,899 --> 00:19:23,640
- How is you selling out
good for us?
522
00:19:23,684 --> 00:19:25,381
- Because now you have
a man on the inside,
523
00:19:25,425 --> 00:19:26,817
at the top.
524
00:19:26,861 --> 00:19:29,124
The inside top,
that's where you want to be.
525
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:31,779
- So, now you're
going to use your power
526
00:19:31,822 --> 00:19:33,737
to help Myrtle
get her job back?
527
00:19:33,781 --> 00:19:35,478
- Exactly.
Probably.
528
00:19:35,522 --> 00:19:37,567
I mean, we don't want to rock
the boat too much at first.
529
00:19:37,611 --> 00:19:40,048
Guys, we're playing
the long game here.
530
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:46,054
I will see you at home.
Great job today!
531
00:19:46,097 --> 00:19:48,143
- [scoffs]
532
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:49,623
- Chill.
533
00:19:51,929 --> 00:19:54,323
- I hope he enjoys his job
534
00:19:54,367 --> 00:19:56,369
with CEO Neil Farterson.
535
00:19:56,412 --> 00:19:58,719
'Cause he farted.
536
00:19:58,762 --> 00:20:00,938
- Hmm.
- Yeah.
537
00:20:03,114 --> 00:20:05,247
- Hey.
538
00:20:05,291 --> 00:20:08,511
So are we okay?
539
00:20:08,555 --> 00:20:11,427
- Look...
540
00:20:11,471 --> 00:20:14,691
Uh, why don't we just
start over?
541
00:20:14,735 --> 00:20:16,258
- Fresh start?
542
00:20:16,302 --> 00:20:19,740
- Fresh start.
543
00:20:19,783 --> 00:20:22,046
- All right, so--
544
00:20:31,969 --> 00:20:34,624
[The Revivalists'
"Stand Up" plays]
545
00:20:34,668 --> 00:20:36,278
♪
546
00:20:36,322 --> 00:20:39,238
- ♪ Stand up
if you're out in the crowd ♪
547
00:20:39,281 --> 00:20:41,588
♪ Get down,
make the doctor proud ♪
548
00:20:41,631 --> 00:20:44,243
♪ Stand up
if you're out in the crowd ♪
549
00:20:44,286 --> 00:20:46,941
♪ Get down,
make the doctor proud ♪
550
00:20:46,984 --> 00:20:49,335
♪ Stand up
551
00:20:49,378 --> 00:20:51,293
♪ Get down
552
00:20:51,337 --> 00:20:54,209
♪ Take it away
553
00:20:54,253 --> 00:21:01,260
♪
554
00:21:02,652 --> 00:21:05,002
- Oh, my God.
How many buttons do you have?
555
00:21:05,046 --> 00:21:06,352
- A lot.
556
00:21:06,395 --> 00:21:09,355
- ♪ Start taking
care of their own ♪
557
00:21:09,398 --> 00:21:11,444
♪ Yeah
558
00:21:11,487 --> 00:21:14,795
♪ So we gotta stand up
if you're out in the crowd ♪
559
00:21:14,838 --> 00:21:17,624
♪ Get down,
make the doctor proud ♪
560
00:21:17,667 --> 00:21:19,800
♪ Stand up
if you're out in the crowd ♪
561
00:21:19,843 --> 00:21:22,455
♪ Get down,
make the doctor proud ♪
562
00:21:22,498 --> 00:21:25,371
♪ Stand up
563
00:21:25,414 --> 00:21:27,982
- Wait, do I need a...
564
00:21:28,025 --> 00:21:29,331
- No, I'm already pregnant.
565
00:21:29,375 --> 00:21:30,332
- Oh, right, that's awesome.
566
00:21:30,376 --> 00:21:31,855
- Yeah!
- Great.
567
00:21:31,899 --> 00:21:35,294
- ♪ Oh you gotta stand up
568
00:21:35,337 --> 00:21:37,818
♪ Ooh yeah
569
00:21:37,861 --> 00:21:39,863
♪ We're living
for this feeling ♪
570
00:21:39,907 --> 00:21:42,866
♪ We've got nowhere to go
571
00:21:42,910 --> 00:21:45,695
♪ Stand up
572
00:21:48,829 --> 00:21:51,048
- Hey guys,
look what's on.
40989
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