All language subtitles for Run the Burbs s01e08 Raccoon Fever.eng

Hey. You know you have to

recharge my foot shaver
if you use it, okay?

What? Foot shaver? My feet
are still young and spry.

Andrew, you're muted.

- Thank God.
- ANDREW: Sorry.

I was just saying that, uh,

I'll cover the "A"
project of the assignment.

Are you sure? That's the biggest
part, and it's due in two days.

Yo. Y'all don't know me yet,
but Andrew Pham goes hard.

- I got this.
- Cool.

Well, I guess that's all for today. Bye.

Wait. We still need a group name.

Aw. I was going to
suggest Bookfast Club.

Ooh. I like it. How's school going?

- It's kind of bringing me back.
- Yeah.

It's a lot of work.

And my classmates are basically kids.

Camille, they've never heard of Usher.

- Big Tyme?
- Mr. Entertainment?

BOTH: "My boo"?

Oof. Well, it's just one
semester, and then you're done.

Yeah. Easy.

You know what?

- Maybe I will shave my feet.
- Again?

Okay. Maybe I will do
my group assignment.

- Hmm. Oh.
- (KETTLE WHISTLING)

- (SOMETHING THUDDING)
- Whoa. What was that?

- Was that the bin?
- That sound.

No, no, no. Not again!

- What is it?
- Raccoons.

? Run with us... ?

And that's when Bret told Moby
he didn't even like hummus.

- What?
- And I was, like, "Bret, we were all there."

(LAUGHING)

Hey, Nanaji.

There's my strapping man.

Now, you're aware that
somebody did their graffiti

on your special bench?

Again? These fools think
they can outplay me?

Ha. They don't know what I'm about.

What are you about?

Justice. I will repaint my bench

as many times as it takes.

I don't know how to quit.

Unless it's piano lessons.

Hey. I have very small hands.

And big excuses. Now, is Khia home?

No. She's at Bubble
Bae setting things up.

I had the balloons she requested.

I'll go drop them off.

You know, it does occur to me

that what you're dealing
with, at its core,

is a bylaw infraction.

Don't say it.

Would it kill you to open yourself up

to her expertise and maybe
even learn to appreciate

my lady friend Barb?

Okay. I can tell that I've hit you with

one too many things there.

I'll just go.

? Go, go, go-go-go ?

HUDSON: Hoo-hoo-hoo!

That is a big mess.

Did the raccoons get you, too?

Nah, man. We're vegan now.

Raccoons don't want salad.

- You okay?
- Hudson, I have a history...

... with raccoons.

How weird is this going to get?

The year is 2004.

Shrek 2 fever is sweeping the nation.

I'm living my best
life in student housing,

until a family of raccoons
found a hole into the attic

and moved right on in.

Mm-mmm. That's no good.

All the scratching. I couldn't focus.

I almost bombed that semester

until animal control removed them.

As they were being carted away,

they stared deep into my
eyes with intense vengeance.

And now, they're back.

Don't raccoons live for, like,

two years or something like that?

Well, stories get passed
down over generations.

And now, I have to stop these raccoons

before they settle in
and torment my family.

Or you could just put
the bins in the garage.

You think garage walls
are going to stop raccoons?

Yeah. I don't know why I said that.

So, are you in?

You bet your butt I'm
in. What do you need?

Rope. Lots of rope.

?

What kind of paint is that?

Don't even try. This
paint is up to code.

Oh, impressive. Your daddy was right.

Ew! Can you not say "daddy" like that?

- I said it normal.
- (SIGHING) What do you want?

Your daddy brought me up
to speed on the situation,

and I would like to help
find whoever's doing this.

I don't need your help,

but if this is part of your job

and that's the only
reason you're doing it,

what would we do?

Catch the perp red-handed.

How?

I have my methods.

Fine, but they better be good.

RAMESH: I'll have my usual, please.

Another new one?

What is the point of
establishing one's usual

if there's just constant turnover here?

Ah. Nanaji.

Khia, your balloons, as requested.

Oh.

There's, like, 10 balloons here.

Too few? Too many? What
are we talking about?

It's great. Thank you.

Tell me. What is the
special occasion here?

Oh. Cathy said we could do
a Pride week celebration.

Of course.

You know, it's already looking
more festive and supportive.

Great. Grab some stuff and help us.

Why not?

I am an ally, just like you.

Oh, I'm not an ally. I'm queer.

You knew that, right?

Is that right? Yeah. Huh.

Okay. Don't be mad at me.

- Mm-hmm?
- I don't have tape.

- Mannix!
- Okay. Hear me out.

- Do we really need it?
- Forget about it.

Uh, Nanaji, we need tape before
we can put up anything else.

Oh, sure. Tape, no tape,

I'm cool.

There's nothing going on
here that's a big deal to me.

HUDSON: Andrew, it's pouring.
What are we doing out here?

It's an anti-raccoon security system.

This project is my masterpiece.

Oh. Speaking of projects,
how's school going?

It's amazing. It's like I never left.

I'm actually working on a
group assignment right now.

Right now?

Oh. Not, like, right now,
but it's a group project

on promoting public
participation in communities.

Well, buddy, that's right up your alley.

Yeah. And I'm doing the biggest part,

since I actually have the most
experience and wisdom in the group.

Mmm.

So, how's the actual compost people

supposed to open this when they come?

Oh. I'm going to write the
combination right on the bin.

Okay, but what if the
raccoons read the combination?

Then may God have mercy on us all.

Pretty elaborate, man.

And you haven't even seen the
second part of my plan yet.

Boom! High-powered flood lights.

- Ooh.
- Boom!

Security camera with night vision.

- What?
- I know.

- That's pretty high-tech, man.
- Ah.

You got a ladder you can
help me put this up with?

Nah. I got, like, a step stool.

BOTH: Boost!

?

Khia?

Khia!

Why are you yelling?

Ah. There you are.

First things first. I've been
fishing through my basement

and I found some stuff for you.

Oh. What does this say?

"Have a nice life."

It doesn't quite work for your thing.

- KHIA: Hmmmm.
- Frankly, they don't care

for it much at the
retirement parties, either.

Thanks for helping.

I am thrilled to help.

Incidentally, I wanted to discuss
something that you said earlier.

When you said you were...

... queer.

O-Kay.

Don't you think that
maybe you're too young

to be so sure about such
an important decision?

Nanaji, it's not a
decision. It's who I am.

And of course I, as an
ally, completely support you.

- I just wonder if you...
- Can I ask you something?

Absolutely. That's what I'm here for,

to impart my wisdom and experience.

Did you ever ask Mom if she
was sure she was straight?

No. But it was the '90s.

Vanilla Ice was big. I mean,
who even knew what was happening?

That's what I thought.

This is your big fancy method?

I never promised big or fancy.

This is just a little
technique that I picked up

from watching a wonderful romp

starring Richard Dreyfuss
and Emilio Estevez.

You had to watch stakeout
to learn what a stakeout was?

No. It had a different
name. What was it called?

Barb?

She's inside the house?

Yeah. I know.

Wait. Are y'all doing a stakeout?

Mm-hmm.

I'm doing a stakeout, too. Tight!

How is it going with the raccoons?

Um, wheels are in motion.

School project?

Uh, yeah.

I feel like we could go round and round

with these questions all
day, but, um, I got to go.

Mmm-hmmm.

ANDREW: Raccoons come out and play.

You know, you don't
have to be here, either.

I am invested in this. In
fact, I will go make coffee.

Oh, oh, oh. I brought some for you.

And have an egg. Great
protein. Keeps your mind alert.

How old are these?

- Oh, eggs don't go bad.
- Oh, my gosh. Yes, they do.

- Ugh!
- (EGGS CLATTERING IN BIN)

BARB: That is so rude.

I'm here as a favour.

This isn't a favour.
You're doing your job.

The favour is for Ramesh.
(GASPING, CLAPPING HANDS)

Another stakeout.
That's what it's called.

Oh, that movie had it
all, truly one of a kind.

(SOMETHING THUDDING OUTSIDE)

What?

Right. The cameras.

Buffering.

That's impossible.

They're learning.

The raccoons, they're learning!

No, no, no, no, no, no! No! No! No!

They're learning.
(PANICKED) They're learning!

Barb, too much.

What? I needed body heat.

- What happened?
- Oh!

Those pieces of sh...

It didn't work.

You should've kept the eggs.

You know what? You're off the case.

You probably couldn't do anything

if we caught them, anyway.

I can document the offence, fine them

and threaten legal action
if they persist again.

You're back on the
case. Same time tonight.

Oh, no, no. We can't do
two stakeouts in a row.

You'll burn out.

It's like if they tried to do

a sequel to another stakeout,

there's no way it would hold up
to the magic of the first one.

You're back off the case.

That being said,

I suppose we do still have
the element of surprise.

- You're back on the case.
- Okay.

- We'll get these punks.
- Yes.

SAOIRSE: Andrew?

Oh. Uh, sorry.

I was just, uh, focusing so hard.

- Are you okay?
- Yeah. Fo' sho'!

Well, you didn't send your
part in yet. Are you done?

Uh, no, but...

Can you just get it done, please?

We're cutting it pretty close.

Hey. I won't let team
Dragonfist down, huh?

- (REPEATED CHIMING)
- (SIGHING)

Andrew, they went vegan.

The raccoons hit me and half
the houses around the block.

It's time, Hudson.

Time to get rid of this raccoon
problem once and for all.

Shall I get more rope?

No.

This time, we get our hands dirty...

... by researching effective and humane

raccoon removal methods.

RAMESH: So, how did it
go when she told you?

We said, "we love you."

We gave her a hug, and we
kind of just kept it moving.

So basically, the same thing as me.

You always say you're an ally.

I guess family is different, Camille.

Now, I had an uncle. Karan.
Outstanding cricketer.

I just adored him when I was a child.

Okay.

The family knew he wasn't
just roommates with his friend.

No one spoke of it, and
eventually, no one spoke to him.

Being homosexual has not, historically,
been celebrated in our family.

And historically,

that's been wrong.

I just worry. It's
still not exactly easy.

Dad, life isn't easy.
Khia is who she is,

and we should all just be
with who we want to be with.

I mean, look at you and Barb.

I prefer that true blonde lady...

ANDREW: Friends, neighbours...

(SIGHING)

... for too long,

society has ignored the raccoon plague.

Now, that problem is at our doorstep.

Now, this is, again,

rooted in the housing
market and urban sprawl,

causing downtown raccoon overpopulation,

leading to an increase
in raccoon sprawl.

Now, we must take action as a group

and stop the raccoons

in their tracks.

In closing, people good, raccoons bad.

- Thank you.
- (ONE PERSON APPLAUDING)

Uh, just to be clear,

what is the reward for whoever wins?

Wins what?

The raccoon hunt. Are
we not on the same page?

Sebastian, no! We just
went over our plan.

Nah, man. This is your plan.
Okay? I want no part of this.

Hudson, operation lemonade

is the most effective, humane method.

Oh, that part was serious?

This is the only way for
us to get the raccoons

to leave us alone once and for all.

Andrew, I think you might
need to get some rest, friend.

You're being a real Cyril Sneer.

(EXHALING SHARPLY)

Cyril Sneer is a character
from the Raccoon cartoon.

- I'm aware. I'm aware. Damn.
- Okay.

Operation lemonade just
became a solo mission.

Why am I here?

'Cause I want you to
learn a valuable lesson.

Which is?

That raccoons don't like the
smell of ammonia in urine,

and the price of coyote
urine has skyrocketed.

Back up. You're near the splash zone.

(URINE DRIBBLING)

So, by peeing, I'm
making the raccoons think

there was a predator here.

I don't know if that's
going to be enough.

Then you better double it.

Hudson! You came.

I'm going to leave you to it.

Let's lock and unload.

And drink up, buddy.

We're going to have to hit every
house on the block once it gets dark.

- (URINE DRIBBLING)
- Dude, you're in the splash zone.

Oh. My bad. My bad.

?

BARB: You know, I really
have to commend you.

Repainting that bench over and over,

expecting a different result.

What are you saying, Barb?

I'm saying it shows perseverance.

Your commitment to bench integrity is...

... well, it's impressive.

Oh. It's a very meaningful bench.

It was pretty instrumental
in me and Andrew...

... my family story.

Did you make a baby on that bench?

No! Ugh.

That's a relief. Otherwise,
I'd have to write you up.

Tuna?

No. It's better than eggs.

(SLURPING)

No, it's worse. Much, much, much worse.

There must be something
else we can do to stay alert.

Hmm. Well, there is
one other thing I do.

Conversation.

Really riveting chit-chat,
it just stimulates the brain.

Unless...

No. Okay. Tell me about
yourself, uh, Barb.

Got any hobbies?

Hmm.

I do.

Riveting.

Oh.

I'll be right back.

Hi.

RAMESH: Khia,

I love you, and I support
you in anything you do.

I just don't want my granddaughter
to have any difficulty in life,

in any way.

I hope you understand that.

But you thinking that my life
is going to be more difficult

just because I'm queer
is just another problem.

How do you mean?

Like, there's already
so many challenges.

I mean, a couple came in earlier

and they saw the
decorations and they left.

Well, I don't think
that can be blamed on...

It's not about you.

But your worrying about
me makes it harder for me.

You're right.

I'm sorry.

You know, I've never been prouder
of you than I am right now.

Thank you, Nanaji.

You want to come sit with us?

Won't I be a third wheel?

- Yes. (GIGGLING)
- Then absolutely.

Hey.

So, what's happening?

Well, Mannix wants to
get her helix pierced.

- Yeah.
- Your helix?

Yeah.

- I'm going to go.
- Oh. Okay. Sure.

BARB: And so, what a lot of caf�s do

is they burn the milk, and
that is how you get bubbles.

And you absolutely do not want
bubbles in your cappuccino.

What's something that you
find people often do wrong?

You know, I'm really
beginning to understand

what you and my dad see in each other.

- Aw.
- (GASPING)

Oh. Oh, look! Look at that.

Show time.

CAMILLE: Wait a second.

Leo?

(SIGHING)

I told Andrew not to buy
him all those markers.

It always starts with a marker.

No. Barb, wait.

I know you have a job to do,

but could you please
just look the other way?

He is breaking the rules, Camille.

You know what I have to do now.

Once you start making exceptions
to the rules, it's chaos.

It's pure chaos.

Please.

Not for me, but for Leo's grandfather.

And your daddy?

Okay. That's enough.

All right. I will look
the other way, this time.

But you had better
straighten that kid out,

or next time it'll be different.

Thank you.

Oh. Also, I left you
an open can of tuna.

Where?

(IN SING-SONG VOICE) Somewhere.

- (DOOR OPENING)
- Andrew?

Hey. Did you catch the graffiti bandit?

Sort of. You finish your work?

Uh, yeah. I will.

Just making sure the
raccoons don't come back.

Andrew, what's going on?

Uh, nothing. The raccoons are just...

- Andrew...
- (SIGHING)

School is just

more pressure than I expected.

What if I fail?

(SIGHING)

If you put half your raccoon
energy into your schoolwork,

you'd get straight A's.

I don't think you're afraid of failure.

I think you're afraid of success.

What do I do after I graduate?

What if I have less
time for the kids? You?

Our neighbours? My foot care regimen?

Get your degree, and
then we'll figure it out.

But for now,

get rid of the raccoons
in the yard of your mind.

- Damn!
- Mm-hmm.

- (SOMETHING THUDDING OUTSIDE)
- They're back.

- (RACCOONS CHITTERING)
- Whoa!

Ooh.

I guess my pee isn't as
predatorial as I thought.

Oh. Look at that. Probably just hungry.

- (CHITTERING)
- ANDREW: Aw.

CAMILLE: Should we let them be?

Yeah. I bet that raccoon
probably has a family.

Just looking out for
their partner and kids.

- Just like us.
- Yeah, they are just like...

- (ANGRY CHITTERING)
- Oh, my God. Chill!

Chill, chill, chill.

- (LIGHT SWITCH CLICKING)
- CAMILLE: Leo Blade Pham!

I know about the bench.

This has to stop.

I can't keep repainting it.

You?

- Why are you doing this to me?
- To you?

That bench is very important to me.

Why?

Well, when your sister was a baby,

we needed our own place.

We found this house in the burbs,

and your dad loved
it, but I wasn't sure.

So, I went to that bench and I sat down,

and then I just... I saw everything.

I saw you and your sister
and the blockbusters.

I even saw Sebastian.

LEO: Whoa.

You're psychic! Mom,
we can monetize this.

So,

what's your big problem
with the bench, huh?

- Oh, there's no problem.
- Hmm?

I sat there last week with Jojo.

Okay.

She said she liked being
on the bench together.

So, I took my marker,

and we each did a little
drawing to remember we had fun.

Until someone painted over it.

So, I drew it again and again,

and I guess it's going to happen again.

Or maybe it won't.

(GIGGLING)

Okay. Let's go to bed.

- Dad got pee on my shoes.
- What?

? When darkness falls ?

? Leaving shadows in the night ?

? Don't be afraid ?

? Wipe that fear from your eyes ?

? The desperate love ?

? Keeps on driving you wrong ?

? Don't be afraid ?

? You're not alone ?

? You can run with us... ?

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