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1
00:00:10,020 --> 00:00:12,010
- Jesus!
- Argh! Oh, Jesus!
2
00:00:12,060 --> 00:00:13,690
God, who are you? Are you...?
3
00:00:13,740 --> 00:00:17,370
Oh, you're from... the, um, agency.
4
00:00:17,420 --> 00:00:19,850
Sorry, do you want to
come in here to clean?
5
00:00:19,900 --> 00:00:22,210
I'll get out. I was working.
6
00:00:22,260 --> 00:00:25,530
- I'm freelance, so I
wasn't sleeping. - It's OK.
7
00:00:25,580 --> 00:00:27,810
No, no, you don't
understand. I'm my own boss.
8
00:00:27,860 --> 00:00:30,770
I run my own PR firm company.
9
00:00:30,820 --> 00:00:36,450
We deal in higher end... FMLG
-- fast-moving luxury goods.
10
00:00:36,500 --> 00:00:40,620
OK, well, I'll just...
I'll get back to my work.
11
00:00:46,060 --> 00:00:47,610
Sorry, why are you putting this here?
12
00:00:47,660 --> 00:00:51,530
This is the handlebar
from my daughter's scooter.
13
00:00:51,580 --> 00:00:53,460
- Yes.
- You know scooter?
14
00:00:55,100 --> 00:00:59,250
- It's dildo. - No, no, it's the
handlebar for my daughter's scooter.
15
00:00:59,300 --> 00:01:00,730
We need to put it back on.
16
00:01:00,780 --> 00:01:05,330
It's proving tricky, because
the, uh... the rubber
17
00:01:05,380 --> 00:01:10,290
is very tight on the
bar, so... so you know.
18
00:01:10,340 --> 00:01:11,740
Hm, it's dildo.
19
00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:15,620
Yes. Fine.
20
00:01:20,180 --> 00:01:22,170
How's the freelancing?
Did you have a nice sleep?
21
00:01:22,220 --> 00:01:23,810
Ha-ha. Hilarious.
22
00:01:23,860 --> 00:01:26,330
Oh, hey, this might be Unilever.
23
00:01:26,380 --> 00:01:29,130
- No, it's Paul.
- Oi, oi. Here she is -- Deborah Meaden.
24
00:01:29,180 --> 00:01:32,490
Yep, I've done it. I'm
officially not employed by anyone.
25
00:01:32,540 --> 00:01:35,170
You loving freelance? It's
like base jumping, innit?
26
00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:37,290
You get a boner from launching
yourself into the void.
27
00:01:37,340 --> 00:01:40,090
No 'chute, no strings, lone
wolf, solo polo. Love it.
28
00:01:40,140 --> 00:01:41,570
Yeah, no, I'm raring to go.
29
00:01:41,620 --> 00:01:43,650
Raring to go. I haven't got
masses on but, you know,
30
00:01:43,700 --> 00:01:45,650
I'm going to use the time
to get all the things done
31
00:01:45,700 --> 00:01:47,850
that I've been meaning to do, like, um...
32
00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:51,210
Oh, oh, order a new
carbon monoxide detector,
33
00:01:51,260 --> 00:01:55,050
get my skin tags off. I might
go on a mini break to Bruges.
34
00:01:55,100 --> 00:01:56,730
Oh, Jill and I nearly went to Bruges once.
35
00:01:56,780 --> 00:01:59,490
Great clocktower... apparently.
36
00:01:59,540 --> 00:02:01,410
Word of advice -- don't
take your foot off the pedal.
37
00:02:01,460 --> 00:02:02,970
- You'll never get it back on.
- Eh?
38
00:02:03,020 --> 00:02:06,050
A few years back, I was flying
high, then I took a sabbatical,
39
00:02:06,100 --> 00:02:10,210
went travelling. China, India,
some of the 'Stans. Big mistake.
40
00:02:10,260 --> 00:02:13,090
When I came back, no
tosser would take my calls.
41
00:02:13,140 --> 00:02:14,570
It's like I'd slid down a career snake.
42
00:02:14,620 --> 00:02:17,610
- What do you mean?
- Good luck, yeah?
43
00:02:17,660 --> 00:02:21,730
- Oh, hey, kids. Who's up for some
sausage sushi tonight? - Yeah, me!
44
00:02:21,780 --> 00:02:24,410
- Yeah!
- Ooh, Jesus, Kevin.
45
00:02:24,460 --> 00:02:25,930
Well, it's not actual sushi.
46
00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:28,010
It's just sausage instead of the fish,
47
00:02:28,060 --> 00:02:30,450
mashed potatoes instead of the rice,
48
00:02:30,500 --> 00:02:33,210
and mushy peas instead of the wasabi.
49
00:02:33,260 --> 00:02:35,090
But we still use chopsticks.
50
00:02:35,140 --> 00:02:37,330
I can tell you exactly what
I'm having for dinner tonight.
51
00:02:37,380 --> 00:02:41,850
Um, 50g of bran, two pears
and as much spinach as I like.
52
00:02:41,900 --> 00:02:44,690
I feel great, really. Not hungry at all.
53
00:02:44,740 --> 00:02:47,530
We're having kebabs as a treat
cos Charlie apologised to Mrs Lamb
54
00:02:47,580 --> 00:02:49,770
for blaming his fart
on her in an assembly.
55
00:02:49,820 --> 00:02:52,970
Oh, well done, Charlie. High five.
56
00:03:01,780 --> 00:03:05,260
- OK, who's having a slice of
the spinning elephant leg? - Me!
57
00:03:06,980 --> 00:03:10,410
What? Oh, for flip's sake.
58
00:03:10,460 --> 00:03:13,210
They're so neat. Yeah,
this is what I want.
59
00:03:13,260 --> 00:03:17,650
What the flip is that mad...
flipper doing in there?
60
00:03:17,700 --> 00:03:21,220
What is this colour? This
is a lovely, warm... Yeah.
61
00:03:24,660 --> 00:03:27,650
- No more 'babs, kids.
- But I want a kebab.
62
00:03:27,700 --> 00:03:29,250
Let's go home.
63
00:03:29,300 --> 00:03:31,380
I'll defrost a jar of hot dogs.
64
00:03:33,100 --> 00:03:37,450
So, ladies. Names. Let me
run you through my faves.
65
00:03:37,500 --> 00:03:39,970
- Sparkles and Rainbows.
- Mm, lovely.
66
00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:43,570
- Maison, Maman, Papa, Bebe.
- Love it. - Mm-hm. Yeah.
67
00:03:43,620 --> 00:03:45,810
- Baby Groomers.
- Babies and Gentlemen?
68
00:03:45,860 --> 00:03:47,450
That's an awful idea, Anne.
69
00:03:47,500 --> 00:03:50,010
Absolutely. I thought so,
too. Um, Bubble and Squeak.
70
00:03:50,060 --> 00:03:51,450
You can't just say phrases, Anne.
71
00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:54,010
It has to have something to
do with what's in the store.
72
00:03:54,060 --> 00:03:56,250
- What is in the shop?
- Store.
73
00:03:56,300 --> 00:04:01,290
Well... people are always
asking how I look so stylish,
74
00:04:01,340 --> 00:04:05,650
how my children are so on trend,
where did I get that amazing thing,
75
00:04:05,700 --> 00:04:07,570
this amazing thing? Ahh...
76
00:04:07,620 --> 00:04:11,690
So now I can just say in my shop... store.
77
00:04:11,740 --> 00:04:14,650
Store. Anne, focus.
78
00:04:14,700 --> 00:04:16,770
Kapital Kebabs is gone.
79
00:04:16,820 --> 00:04:19,090
The DIY shop went last month.
80
00:04:19,140 --> 00:04:21,690
Got to go online now if you want pegs.
81
00:04:21,740 --> 00:04:25,050
They shut down the post office,
and you know what's in there now?
82
00:04:25,100 --> 00:04:26,610
Bubble tea.
83
00:04:26,660 --> 00:04:28,330
Fucking bubble tea, Kevin!
84
00:04:28,380 --> 00:04:31,410
The queue spills out into
the main road at lunchtimes.
85
00:04:31,460 --> 00:04:34,770
I've had it with the yummy
mummification of the high street.
86
00:04:34,820 --> 00:04:36,650
Kevin, are you listening?
87
00:04:36,700 --> 00:04:39,610
- Hm? - This is important. They did
the best baba ghanoush in London.
88
00:04:39,660 --> 00:04:41,450
Well, it's very easy to make at home.
89
00:04:41,500 --> 00:04:44,010
Life's too short to dick
about with aubergines.
90
00:04:44,060 --> 00:04:45,300
Go away!
91
00:04:47,740 --> 00:04:49,970
They want me to cover for Teresa again.
92
00:04:50,020 --> 00:04:53,090
I was promised flexi hours so I
could fit work around the kids.
93
00:04:53,140 --> 00:04:55,290
Can't Jill do the kids? I
thought you life swapped.
94
00:04:55,340 --> 00:04:57,290
Oh, no, she's gone back to full-time.
95
00:04:57,340 --> 00:04:59,570
She's got her eye on a loft conversion.
96
00:04:59,620 --> 00:05:02,890
A spare bedroom so she can get
away from my bloody breathing.
97
00:05:02,940 --> 00:05:05,250
Only another 30 years and
you can kick back and die.
98
00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:07,170
No, thank you.
99
00:05:07,220 --> 00:05:09,700
I want to sit up and live, Liz.
100
00:05:10,900 --> 00:05:12,770
Do you know what I've
always dreamed of being?
101
00:05:12,820 --> 00:05:13,850
Male escort.
102
00:05:13,900 --> 00:05:15,530
No, no, Liz.
103
00:05:15,580 --> 00:05:20,770
I've always dreamed about
being a dad/children's author.
104
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:23,610
A bit like David Walliams,
but less sinister.
105
00:05:23,660 --> 00:05:26,170
Oh, don't just dream it, Kevin be it.
106
00:05:26,220 --> 00:05:28,930
I did, I did be it. I wrote a
book, when the kids started school.
107
00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:31,370
Self-published, not because
no-one wanted to publish it,
108
00:05:31,420 --> 00:05:34,570
but because I was very
particular about not being edited.
109
00:05:34,620 --> 00:05:37,130
Which is good, really, cos
no-one wanted to publish it.
110
00:05:37,180 --> 00:05:38,410
You wrote a book?
111
00:05:38,460 --> 00:05:40,850
Yeah, it was one of those
stories with a profound meaning.
112
00:05:40,900 --> 00:05:43,530
You know, like Paddington's
about immigration
113
00:05:43,580 --> 00:05:45,890
or The Tiger Who Came To
Tea's about the Gestapo.
114
00:05:45,940 --> 00:05:47,970
The tiger's a Nazi?
115
00:05:48,020 --> 00:05:50,570
Well, that's just bleak,
you can't put that on kids.
116
00:05:50,620 --> 00:05:53,530
My book's called Bye-Bye
Louis, Bye-Bye Clouse.
117
00:05:53,580 --> 00:05:54,850
Oh, nice, what's it about?
118
00:05:54,900 --> 00:05:56,490
Brexit.
119
00:05:56,540 --> 00:05:57,570
Sit down, Anne.
120
00:05:57,620 --> 00:05:58,770
Have some cake.
121
00:05:58,820 --> 00:06:01,250
Oh, I shouldn't. OK.
122
00:06:01,300 --> 00:06:02,810
What's the intel on Amanda's shop?
123
00:06:02,860 --> 00:06:04,730
Well...
124
00:06:04,780 --> 00:06:07,210
.. Johnny's bankrolling it,
to give Amanda a bit of focus
125
00:06:07,260 --> 00:06:09,570
and to take the edge off
the whole separation.
126
00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:11,610
She's actually having a
really hard time with it.
127
00:06:11,660 --> 00:06:14,760
She went to pieces in Mums, Bums
and Tums last week, apparently.
128
00:06:17,860 --> 00:06:20,260
I've just thought of a brilliant name.
129
00:06:21,580 --> 00:06:24,970
- Hygge Tygge, that's very good.
- No, it's pronounced he-ger tee-ger.
130
00:06:25,020 --> 00:06:28,530
No, actually, it's pronounced
hou-ger, to rhyme with cougar.
131
00:06:28,580 --> 00:06:30,970
I know this because I bought Jill
a book on it for her birthday,
132
00:06:31,020 --> 00:06:32,730
which she regifted to me on mine.
133
00:06:32,780 --> 00:06:35,850
Right, well, I'm actually
having a bit of an unofficial
134
00:06:35,900 --> 00:06:39,370
opening, not the big one,
but just a soft opening.
135
00:06:39,420 --> 00:06:41,970
Kevin, do you fancy popping
into Amanda's soft opening?
136
00:06:42,020 --> 00:06:43,330
Ooh, yes, when is it?
137
00:06:43,380 --> 00:06:44,450
Thursday evening.
138
00:06:44,500 --> 00:06:46,610
See you then.
139
00:06:46,660 --> 00:06:48,100
I don't think so.
140
00:06:49,260 --> 00:06:51,010
Sparkles and nibbles from seven.
141
00:06:51,060 --> 00:06:53,290
Yeah, see you then.
142
00:06:53,340 --> 00:06:55,970
Oh, look at her.
143
00:06:56,020 --> 00:06:58,330
Are you OK, Julia?
144
00:06:58,380 --> 00:07:01,770
- Yeah.
- Hey, here's an idea,
145
00:07:01,820 --> 00:07:05,850
how about you do one of your
little PR launches on my store,
146
00:07:05,900 --> 00:07:07,250
now that you're at a loose end?
147
00:07:07,300 --> 00:07:10,490
Julia, I would love to help a fellow
mumtrepreneur get back on her feet.
148
00:07:10,540 --> 00:07:13,250
No, my client base is
much more FMLG, you know?
149
00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:17,610
- What? - Fast-moving luxury
goods, it's a industry term, Amanda.
150
00:07:17,660 --> 00:07:19,700
No, I meant what client base?
151
00:07:22,620 --> 00:07:25,180
- Come on, Jules.
- You're all right, mate.
152
00:07:28,700 --> 00:07:30,490
You all right? You look
like a mental patient.
153
00:07:30,540 --> 00:07:33,330
Yeah, no, I'm great, I'm brilliant.
I'm just in a period of adjustment,
154
00:07:33,380 --> 00:07:35,770
just adjusting to being self-employed.
155
00:07:35,820 --> 00:07:38,730
Haven't even got a stapler
yet, I had loads at work.
156
00:07:38,780 --> 00:07:41,690
And I can't sneak off to the toilet
with the reception's copy of Grazia
157
00:07:41,740 --> 00:07:44,010
to take a long poo, because
it's on my time now.
158
00:07:44,060 --> 00:07:45,290
You know, not on the company dime.
159
00:07:45,340 --> 00:07:46,530
Oh, I love Grazia.
160
00:07:46,580 --> 00:07:49,090
Who do I talk to about Love
Island with at the water cooler?
161
00:07:49,140 --> 00:07:52,090
I actually thought about getting
one, but they're very heavy
162
00:07:52,140 --> 00:07:54,610
and realistically I'm
not going to get through
163
00:07:54,660 --> 00:07:55,970
18.9 litres of water a week.
164
00:07:56,020 --> 00:07:57,570
That is a hell of a lot of water.
165
00:07:57,620 --> 00:07:59,730
I might pop back to the office
just to see how they all are,
166
00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:01,890
Just nick some Post-Its or...
167
00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:03,930
No, no, come on, Jules!
168
00:08:03,980 --> 00:08:06,330
We can do this.
169
00:08:06,380 --> 00:08:07,450
Let's make a pact.
170
00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:08,770
What, to kill ourselves?
171
00:08:08,820 --> 00:08:12,490
- I'm in. - No, let's make
a pact to follow our dreams
172
00:08:12,540 --> 00:08:14,930
and bloody make it happen.
173
00:08:14,980 --> 00:08:17,490
We can be anything we want to be!
174
00:08:17,540 --> 00:08:20,010
And if that doesn't work, just
do what I do and drastically
175
00:08:20,060 --> 00:08:21,780
lower your expectations!
176
00:08:30,460 --> 00:08:32,330
Now, darling, will you
go sit quietly over there
177
00:08:32,380 --> 00:08:34,530
on the reindeer skin pouffe?
There we go, good boy.
178
00:08:34,580 --> 00:08:35,850
Sparkles? Bubbles?
179
00:08:35,900 --> 00:08:37,170
Sparkly bubbles?
180
00:08:37,220 --> 00:08:38,770
Sparkles.
181
00:08:38,820 --> 00:08:39,980
Bubbly sparkles?
182
00:08:41,060 --> 00:08:42,930
Does it smell kebab-y
in here to you, Anne?
183
00:08:42,980 --> 00:08:43,970
Is that what that is?
184
00:08:44,020 --> 00:08:46,090
I thought it was me.
185
00:08:46,140 --> 00:08:47,690
God, I'm hungry.
186
00:08:47,740 --> 00:08:50,250
Sparkly bubbles? Sparkles, bubbles,
187
00:08:50,300 --> 00:08:51,540
sparkly bubbles?
188
00:08:52,780 --> 00:08:53,940
Bubbly sparkles?
189
00:08:57,580 --> 00:08:58,570
Fancy seeing you here.
190
00:08:58,620 --> 00:09:01,530
Oh, well, I thought I'd just pop in!
191
00:09:01,580 --> 00:09:04,250
From Leatherhead? Must be an hour,
what, an hour and a half's drive?
192
00:09:04,300 --> 00:09:05,690
It's nice to show support, isn't it?
193
00:09:05,740 --> 00:09:07,730
So, I have to open my own
shop for you to come and visit
194
00:09:07,780 --> 00:09:09,490
me now, Mother?
195
00:09:09,540 --> 00:09:10,850
Unbelievable.
196
00:09:10,900 --> 00:09:12,930
This is where the counter was.
197
00:09:12,980 --> 00:09:16,490
Tub of hummus there, tzatziki
there, then your baba ghanoush.
198
00:09:16,540 --> 00:09:18,410
This is where all the
salad-y bits would be.
199
00:09:18,460 --> 00:09:21,570
So, like, your shredded red
cabbage, shredded white cabbage.
200
00:09:21,620 --> 00:09:23,610
- Chilli sauce...
- Sparkly bubbles!
201
00:09:23,660 --> 00:09:25,050
Sparkly bubbles?
202
00:09:25,100 --> 00:09:27,530
Oh, I'll mind this area, thank you, Anne!
203
00:09:27,580 --> 00:09:29,570
So, how's the freewheeling going?
204
00:09:29,620 --> 00:09:32,050
Freelancing. Yes, it's great,
going really well, it's a breeze.
205
00:09:32,100 --> 00:09:33,250
Well, there you are then.
206
00:09:33,300 --> 00:09:35,810
No, it's actually really hard,
it's very difficult setting
207
00:09:35,860 --> 00:09:39,490
up a business from scratch when your
client base goes from 58 to zero.
208
00:09:39,540 --> 00:09:41,610
Well, you're very good at what you do.
209
00:09:41,660 --> 00:09:43,370
Which is?
210
00:09:43,420 --> 00:09:45,730
Parties and whatnot.
211
00:09:45,780 --> 00:09:48,530
I'm in PR. PR, public relations?
212
00:09:48,580 --> 00:09:50,050
Do you know what that is, mother?
213
00:09:50,100 --> 00:09:52,090
- Yes!
- Yes, you baby boomers, eh?
214
00:09:52,140 --> 00:09:53,770
As long as you're OK!
215
00:09:53,820 --> 00:09:57,330
"I bought my house for £7,000,
I got my lung fixed for free.
216
00:09:57,380 --> 00:09:59,690
"And now I'm busy swanning
around, spending my husband's big,
217
00:09:59,740 --> 00:10:01,730
"fat pension from the GLC."
218
00:10:01,780 --> 00:10:04,490
I don't think your generation
have any idea how difficult
219
00:10:04,540 --> 00:10:06,890
it is juggling a career and children.
220
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,250
Well, Amanda seems to
be managing very well.
221
00:10:09,300 --> 00:10:12,370
You think playing shops at Johnny's
expense is running a business?
222
00:10:12,420 --> 00:10:15,010
This is just a glorified vanity project
223
00:10:15,060 --> 00:10:17,970
to take her mind off the fact
that she no longer has a husband.
224
00:10:18,020 --> 00:10:20,810
Well, I'll put back this perfumed
owl thing I was going to buy you
225
00:10:20,860 --> 00:10:23,130
- for your home office.
- Yes, do.
226
00:10:23,180 --> 00:10:26,090
You shouldn't be wasting my
inheritance on smelly, old owls.
227
00:10:26,140 --> 00:10:28,090
Great soft opening, Amanda.
228
00:10:28,140 --> 00:10:29,370
Love it.
229
00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:30,810
So, I see you sell books?
230
00:10:30,860 --> 00:10:33,130
Oh, these, no, they're not for
reading, they're for arranging
231
00:10:33,180 --> 00:10:34,970
- on coffee tables.
- Oh, right.
232
00:10:35,020 --> 00:10:37,570
Because I wrote a book that
would look quite nice on a table.
233
00:10:37,620 --> 00:10:39,770
I mean, in an ideal world,
people would read it, too,
234
00:10:39,820 --> 00:10:42,490
but, you know. People lead
such busy lives these days.
235
00:10:42,540 --> 00:10:44,730
Kevin, tonight is about supporting me.
236
00:10:44,780 --> 00:10:46,930
People are here to buy, not sell.
237
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,090
Yeah, of course!
238
00:10:48,140 --> 00:10:51,210
Of course. Oh! This is chic, this...
239
00:10:51,260 --> 00:10:53,130
How much is this one?
240
00:10:53,180 --> 00:10:54,850
Um, oh, we're cashless, Kevin!
241
00:10:54,900 --> 00:10:56,410
Oh, OK.
242
00:10:56,460 --> 00:10:58,890
I left, I left my Monzo card at home.
243
00:10:58,940 --> 00:11:00,500
Oh.
244
00:11:02,260 --> 00:11:04,930
So, I'll swing by with the books tomoz!
245
00:11:04,980 --> 00:11:06,930
God loves a tryer, but
no-one wants this bollocks.
246
00:11:06,980 --> 00:11:08,170
I know, yeah.
247
00:11:08,220 --> 00:11:10,330
If you want my professional
opinion, which I know you do,
248
00:11:10,380 --> 00:11:12,450
this place is going to fold in two months.
249
00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:13,690
Because none of this was here!
250
00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:16,100
All right, Amanda? What a triumph!
251
00:11:18,300 --> 00:11:19,970
- Cake in a jar?
- Thank you!
252
00:11:20,020 --> 00:11:21,410
- Cake in a jar?
- Oh, no, thanks.
253
00:11:21,460 --> 00:11:24,010
- Cake in a jar? - Go on, I'll
have a cake in a fucking jar.
254
00:11:24,060 --> 00:11:25,650
Can you open my cake, Kev?
255
00:11:25,700 --> 00:11:26,930
Cake in a jar?
256
00:11:26,980 --> 00:11:29,410
Cake in a jar? Cake in a jar?
257
00:11:29,460 --> 00:11:32,370
Come the revolution, this will
be the first place to get torched.
258
00:11:32,420 --> 00:11:34,970
She says, sipping Prosecco at the
soft opening of a concept store.
259
00:11:35,020 --> 00:11:36,570
Is someone jealous?
260
00:11:36,620 --> 00:11:38,290
- Is that what it is?
- Jealous?
261
00:11:38,340 --> 00:11:41,090
Of this, of me? Is that why
you've been telling people
262
00:11:41,140 --> 00:11:43,010
this is a vanity project?
263
00:11:43,060 --> 00:11:44,490
I don't think I am.
264
00:11:44,540 --> 00:11:46,730
So, why did my son just ask
me what a vanity project is?
265
00:11:46,780 --> 00:11:48,130
Don't know.
266
00:11:48,180 --> 00:11:49,490
"What's a vanity project, Mummy?"
267
00:11:49,540 --> 00:11:50,890
"Where did you hear that, darling?"
268
00:11:50,940 --> 00:11:53,170
"Ivy's mum just said your
shop is a vanity project."
269
00:11:53,220 --> 00:11:55,220
No, I think he misheard.
270
00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:58,450
Did you mishear, Manus?
271
00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:00,850
You definitely did, Manus, because
what I think, I think I said
272
00:12:00,900 --> 00:12:02,730
is that this is definitely
not a vanity project.
273
00:12:02,780 --> 00:12:06,010
Did Ivy's mum say this is
definitely not a vanity project?
274
00:12:06,060 --> 00:12:07,730
I definitely did, Manus, so...
275
00:12:07,780 --> 00:12:09,170
So, Manus is lying?
276
00:12:09,220 --> 00:12:11,130
No, he's just not telling
the truth about what I said!
277
00:12:11,180 --> 00:12:14,530
Because my actual words,
I think, to quote, were,
278
00:12:14,580 --> 00:12:18,530
"This is definitely not a vanity
project, this is the real deal."
279
00:12:18,580 --> 00:12:22,650
So, mate, hey, look, we all
mishear things from time to time,
280
00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:26,330
but the main thing is that
you've got your mummy's back.
281
00:12:26,380 --> 00:12:27,420
Good boy!
282
00:12:28,660 --> 00:12:30,370
Actually, actually!
283
00:12:30,420 --> 00:12:33,530
I wanted to say, you
know, you made this sound
284
00:12:33,580 --> 00:12:35,570
like it was just a...
285
00:12:35,620 --> 00:12:40,210
.. kiosk! Actually, it
is a full-blown boutique.
286
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:41,490
And...
287
00:12:41,540 --> 00:12:43,170
.. I want to get involved.
288
00:12:43,220 --> 00:12:44,810
- Do you?
- Yes, Amanda.
289
00:12:44,860 --> 00:12:47,770
I'm going to help you get
this shop launched hard.
290
00:12:47,820 --> 00:12:50,490
Store!
291
00:12:50,540 --> 00:12:52,090
Ladies and gents!
292
00:12:52,140 --> 00:12:58,210
Friends and neighbours, please
raise your glasses to Hyga Tyga!
293
00:12:58,260 --> 00:12:59,810
Hygge Tygge.
294
00:12:59,860 --> 00:13:02,050
- Hygy Tygy!
- Hurda Turda.
295
00:13:02,100 --> 00:13:03,380
One month.
296
00:13:15,580 --> 00:13:17,250
Thought you said 11?
297
00:13:17,300 --> 00:13:20,410
Sure, but I have a massage booked
for then, so I whizzed over early.
298
00:13:20,460 --> 00:13:22,330
I thought you would have
showered by now, Julia.
299
00:13:22,380 --> 00:13:24,770
Um...
300
00:13:24,820 --> 00:13:26,460
.. well, I guess it's just us.
301
00:13:31,380 --> 00:13:34,170
Well, this is a cosy little...
302
00:13:34,220 --> 00:13:35,490
.. worky corner!
303
00:13:35,540 --> 00:13:36,570
Yeah, so, thoughts.
304
00:13:36,620 --> 00:13:38,530
I'm thinking about brand personalisation.
305
00:13:38,580 --> 00:13:40,170
So, if your shop had a
face, what would that be?
306
00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:43,330
Stop, I love that. If my shop
had a -- store -- had a face,
307
00:13:43,380 --> 00:13:45,370
it would be my face.
308
00:13:45,420 --> 00:13:48,500
For example, how, how would
that face make you feel?
309
00:13:50,860 --> 00:13:52,460
- Blessed.
- Hm.
310
00:13:54,020 --> 00:13:56,730
So, I've been putting together
a strategy for the next stage
311
00:13:56,780 --> 00:14:00,450
of the launch. So, for example,
this is what we did for Muji.
312
00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:03,130
Get you! You know your onions!
313
00:14:03,180 --> 00:14:05,450
I always wondered what you
got up to at your work.
314
00:14:05,500 --> 00:14:08,330
- Mm? - Well, because you
always made it look so hard.
315
00:14:08,380 --> 00:14:11,570
You know? Like your eyes were going
to pop out with the stress sometimes.
316
00:14:11,620 --> 00:14:12,770
I don't know.
317
00:14:12,820 --> 00:14:15,330
I'm finding it quite manageable, actually.
318
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:16,480
Oh!
319
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:21,380
Amanda Holden just liked my post.
320
00:14:24,620 --> 00:14:25,980
Go on!
321
00:14:31,300 --> 00:14:33,690
It's like a fucking knick-knack prison.
322
00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:36,330
I mean, Kapital Kebabs' window was awful.
323
00:14:36,380 --> 00:14:39,890
Had all these photos of kebabs and
saveloys that looked disgusting,
324
00:14:39,940 --> 00:14:41,500
but tasted delicious.
325
00:14:43,340 --> 00:14:45,010
This place is part of my history.
326
00:14:45,060 --> 00:14:47,450
My waters broke in there, with Max.
327
00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:48,850
Where Anne's standing.
328
00:14:48,900 --> 00:14:51,250
There. Look, right there.
329
00:14:51,300 --> 00:14:52,340
Let's go in.
330
00:14:53,820 --> 00:14:55,450
Come on, Kev, Amanda's your mate!
331
00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:57,010
She should bloody stock it.
332
00:14:57,060 --> 00:14:58,690
It's just...
333
00:14:58,740 --> 00:15:01,650
.. this is a really big deal for me.
334
00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:04,090
I put my heart into this book.
335
00:15:04,140 --> 00:15:05,650
Did your girls do the drawings?
336
00:15:05,700 --> 00:15:06,730
No!
337
00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:08,210
Jill's cousin.
338
00:15:08,260 --> 00:15:10,210
She's a part-time artist.
339
00:15:10,260 --> 00:15:13,810
I love the way she's made the
tears the stars of the EU flag.
340
00:15:13,860 --> 00:15:16,250
Yeah, that's really clever.
341
00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:18,180
Come on, Kev, let's go in.
342
00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:20,890
Receipt's in the bag.
343
00:15:20,940 --> 00:15:23,180
- Thanks.
- Great, thank you.
344
00:15:24,540 --> 00:15:25,730
Hi, Anne.
345
00:15:25,780 --> 00:15:29,890
Did Amanda mention I was going
to be swinging by with my book?
346
00:15:29,940 --> 00:15:33,450
Yeah, it's just one of those
stories with a profound message.
347
00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:35,690
Like Paddington's about liberation.
348
00:15:35,740 --> 00:15:37,450
It's just right for Hooga Tooga, I think.
349
00:15:37,500 --> 00:15:38,890
Herga Terga.
350
00:15:38,940 --> 00:15:40,090
I couldn't say.
351
00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:41,650
Amanda's whole thing is,
352
00:15:41,700 --> 00:15:44,020
"Would I have this in my house?" And...
353
00:15:45,020 --> 00:15:47,290
.. yeah, you're going to
have to talk to Amanda.
354
00:15:47,340 --> 00:15:48,650
She's just away.
355
00:15:48,700 --> 00:15:50,820
- Eyelash extensions.
- OK.
356
00:16:03,940 --> 00:16:05,010
I don't know, Liz.
357
00:16:05,060 --> 00:16:07,690
We should have got the
OK from Amanda first.
358
00:16:07,740 --> 00:16:09,090
It will spoil the surprise!
359
00:16:09,140 --> 00:16:10,370
I think you're mocking me!
360
00:16:10,420 --> 00:16:12,050
I am not, how dare you!
361
00:16:12,100 --> 00:16:13,490
Sorry, I thought you were.
362
00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:14,970
Well, I was. Only a tiny bit.
363
00:16:15,020 --> 00:16:16,650
Not cool, Kevin!
364
00:16:16,700 --> 00:16:17,940
Not cool.
365
00:16:20,140 --> 00:16:21,620
Your books.
366
00:16:22,700 --> 00:16:25,170
I'm not going to press
charges, but I am pretty sure
367
00:16:25,220 --> 00:16:26,570
what you did is illegal.
368
00:16:26,620 --> 00:16:28,410
Oh, no, sorry. Sorry I can explain.
369
00:16:28,460 --> 00:16:31,090
I think maybe I...
370
00:16:31,140 --> 00:16:32,580
.. Liz...
371
00:16:33,580 --> 00:16:35,410
We thought because you
and I are friends...
372
00:16:35,460 --> 00:16:38,490
OK, can I just clarify, I
am never stocking your book.
373
00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:40,740
And B, we're not friends.
374
00:16:41,780 --> 00:16:44,130
- But we're friendly?
- We're not friends, Kevin.
375
00:16:44,180 --> 00:16:47,530
- Our kids are friends?
- I'm not stocking your book.
376
00:16:47,580 --> 00:16:48,700
Did you read it?
377
00:16:49,980 --> 00:16:51,330
Anne!
378
00:16:51,380 --> 00:16:53,050
Who's at the shop? Store!
379
00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:55,970
Sorry, I just had to pick up Darius,
cos it's, you know, home time?
380
00:16:56,020 --> 00:17:00,010
Exactly, Anne, this is
peak post-school footfall!
381
00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:01,170
Give me the keys!
382
00:17:01,220 --> 00:17:02,890
Right, OK, sorry, OK.
383
00:17:02,940 --> 00:17:04,970
- So, these do the shutters, OK?
- Yeah.
384
00:17:05,020 --> 00:17:06,730
Front door.
385
00:17:06,780 --> 00:17:08,130
Yale and deadlock.
386
00:17:08,180 --> 00:17:09,610
OK, back door.
387
00:17:09,660 --> 00:17:11,090
Bin gate.
388
00:17:11,140 --> 00:17:12,770
Ignore that one.
389
00:17:12,820 --> 00:17:14,730
Bogs, fuse cupboard, which
you probably won't need.
390
00:17:14,780 --> 00:17:16,610
OK, just give them to me!
391
00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:21,340
- Anne, you need to pick up
Manus and Georgie! - OK, OK!
392
00:17:25,300 --> 00:17:28,850
- Hey! - Oh, hi! Julia, I'll
just be with you in a moment,
393
00:17:28,900 --> 00:17:31,210
- just rushed off my feet right now.
- Yeah, I can see that.
394
00:17:31,260 --> 00:17:34,490
They probably saw you on Living
Etc online or in the Mumsnet piece
395
00:17:34,540 --> 00:17:36,770
I wangled. You know, that's
10,000 hits per minute.
396
00:17:36,820 --> 00:17:40,450
- So, that's quite a coup.
Well done me! - Yeah.
397
00:17:40,500 --> 00:17:42,450
I actually forgot how good I am at my job.
398
00:17:42,500 --> 00:17:44,650
You know, I really enjoyed the challenge.
399
00:17:44,700 --> 00:17:46,690
You know, just gave me the kick I needed.
400
00:17:46,740 --> 00:17:48,490
You're welcome, I'm glad I...
401
00:17:48,540 --> 00:17:50,650
.. got you out of your little hole.
402
00:17:50,700 --> 00:17:53,250
No, no, you didn't get
me out of a little hole,
403
00:17:53,300 --> 00:17:55,810
I-I-I got you out of your big hole.
404
00:17:55,860 --> 00:17:58,010
I think this is going to
look great on your CV, Julia.
405
00:17:58,060 --> 00:18:00,090
I don't have a CV, it's not the '80s.
406
00:18:00,140 --> 00:18:02,890
Well, it'll look great on your LinkedIn.
407
00:18:02,940 --> 00:18:04,290
Oh!
408
00:18:04,340 --> 00:18:06,970
200 likes on my bamboo trivet!
409
00:18:07,020 --> 00:18:08,140
Ding!
410
00:18:11,500 --> 00:18:13,810
- Can I help you with something, Julia?
- No, no, it's just I wanted
411
00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:15,290
- to say, you're welcome.
- My pleasure!
412
00:18:15,340 --> 00:18:16,930
- My pleasure!
- No problem.
413
00:18:16,980 --> 00:18:19,850
No, it's just that usually I charge
£400 a day for this kind of major
414
00:18:19,900 --> 00:18:22,650
brand consultancy work
and I did spend four days
415
00:18:22,700 --> 00:18:27,020
in my pokey worky corner, pulling
in lots of favours, so...
416
00:18:31,020 --> 00:18:32,780
For your bedroom office.
417
00:18:34,740 --> 00:18:36,210
Mm.
418
00:18:36,260 --> 00:18:37,610
Yeah, it's lovely.
419
00:18:37,660 --> 00:18:39,420
That's £89, please.
420
00:18:41,140 --> 00:18:43,220
Cards only, we're cashless.
421
00:18:46,980 --> 00:18:50,330
It was just the smugness.
422
00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:52,970
Smuggy Tuggy!
423
00:18:53,020 --> 00:18:55,130
It was upsetting anyway,
but there were tea bags
424
00:18:55,180 --> 00:18:57,490
in the bottom of that bin liner.
425
00:18:57,540 --> 00:18:59,610
Two of my books are water damaged!
426
00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:02,050
Yeah, well, I did all that
work for free! As a favour!
427
00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:04,530
I thought it was because you called
Manus a liar and had to dig yourself
428
00:19:04,580 --> 00:19:05,610
out of it.
429
00:19:05,660 --> 00:19:08,090
No, I did that out of the
kindness of my heart, Liz.
430
00:19:08,140 --> 00:19:11,170
- I did very good work on that campaign.
- Can I ask...
431
00:19:11,220 --> 00:19:12,490
.. are we friends?
432
00:19:12,540 --> 00:19:15,130
- Define friends.
- Course we're friends, Kevin.
433
00:19:15,180 --> 00:19:16,610
Thank you, Julia.
434
00:19:16,660 --> 00:19:19,170
Because, you know, I've
always been there for Amanda.
435
00:19:19,220 --> 00:19:22,410
I ran her class rep
campaign for three years.
436
00:19:22,460 --> 00:19:24,770
I gave out leaflets till my thumbs bled.
437
00:19:24,820 --> 00:19:27,130
I'm surprised you're surprised!
438
00:19:27,180 --> 00:19:28,650
Amanda's a parasite!
439
00:19:28,700 --> 00:19:31,170
A big, blonde tick, sucking
the high street dry.
440
00:19:31,220 --> 00:19:32,770
Yes, but this is my point, Liz!
441
00:19:32,820 --> 00:19:35,890
Not even a thank you, not a
discount off a candle that cost more
442
00:19:35,940 --> 00:19:37,610
than a return flight to Spain!
443
00:19:37,660 --> 00:19:40,010
I hate to say this, but
Amanda has been a right
444
00:19:40,060 --> 00:19:43,010
B-1-T-C-H.
445
00:19:43,060 --> 00:19:44,090
Bitch.
446
00:19:44,140 --> 00:19:46,490
You know there are more
Hygge Tygge haters out there?
447
00:19:46,540 --> 00:19:48,570
Are there?
448
00:19:48,620 --> 00:19:50,050
On the Acton Forum.
449
00:19:50,100 --> 00:19:51,140
Oh, yeah? Show me.
450
00:19:55,220 --> 00:19:57,330
Read that one.
451
00:19:57,380 --> 00:19:59,850
ActonSquirrel, aw, that's sweet.
452
00:19:59,900 --> 00:20:03,290
"Shit shops like Hygge Tygge
are destroying the community.
453
00:20:03,340 --> 00:20:05,810
"Why can't all the yummy
mummies roll up their yoga mats
454
00:20:05,860 --> 00:20:07,850
"and knob off back to Nappy Valley?"
455
00:20:07,900 --> 00:20:10,690
That's an angry squirrel,
isn't it? Right there.
456
00:20:10,740 --> 00:20:11,770
You write one.
457
00:20:11,820 --> 00:20:14,250
- No! - Go on! - OK.
458
00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:15,530
Don't do it under your own name!
459
00:20:15,580 --> 00:20:16,890
Oh, yeah.
460
00:20:16,940 --> 00:20:20,090
That's a good point, who shall I be?
461
00:20:20,140 --> 00:20:21,540
I've got a good one.
462
00:20:22,660 --> 00:20:25,890
Crouch End Tiger, that's brilliant!
463
00:20:25,940 --> 00:20:28,010
I heard...
464
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:30,530
.. about this shop...
465
00:20:30,580 --> 00:20:35,530
.. through the excellent publicity push.
466
00:20:35,580 --> 00:20:41,890
But it turns out it is a load of old shit.
467
00:20:41,940 --> 00:20:43,610
Clever. You do one, Kev!
468
00:20:43,660 --> 00:20:44,970
- No!
- Go on!
469
00:20:45,020 --> 00:20:47,940
I can't. OK.
470
00:20:49,460 --> 00:20:53,050
Shit is the word.
471
00:20:53,100 --> 00:20:54,730
"Shit is the word."
472
00:20:54,780 --> 00:20:59,170
If this shop were a shit, it
would be a great, big, pointless
473
00:20:59,220 --> 00:21:02,020
shit, shat out...
474
00:21:04,900 --> 00:21:07,490
.. of a shitty bumhole.
475
00:21:07,540 --> 00:21:10,890
You should work in PR, Kev!
476
00:21:10,940 --> 00:21:13,050
Right, I need more wine.
477
00:21:13,100 --> 00:21:16,010
No, don't, just one more!
478
00:21:16,060 --> 00:21:17,220
This...
479
00:21:18,220 --> 00:21:20,370
.. shop...
480
00:21:20,420 --> 00:21:26,530
.. is a shit stain on the high street.
481
00:21:26,580 --> 00:21:30,540
#ShitShop.
482
00:21:33,540 --> 00:21:34,650
No, I should delete that.
483
00:21:34,700 --> 00:21:35,890
No, we should take that one out.
484
00:21:35,940 --> 00:21:37,930
We should delete that,
I'll get some more wine.
485
00:21:37,980 --> 00:21:39,290
Get me some cheese balls!
486
00:21:39,340 --> 00:21:41,980
Get them yourself, you lazy bitch!
487
00:21:43,180 --> 00:21:45,330
You know you've had a good
night when you find crisps
488
00:21:45,380 --> 00:21:48,930
in your knickers.
489
00:21:48,980 --> 00:21:50,290
Hey, guys, have you heard?
490
00:21:50,340 --> 00:21:51,650
Amanda's shop's been sabotaged.
491
00:21:51,700 --> 00:21:53,250
Somebody threw a poo at it.
492
00:21:53,300 --> 00:21:55,090
- What?
- Isn't it terrible?
493
00:21:55,140 --> 00:21:58,530
Someone threw a poo at Hygge
Tygge, and then graffitied #ShitShop
494
00:21:58,580 --> 00:22:00,970
on the window, apparently.
495
00:22:01,020 --> 00:22:03,210
Definitely said #ShitShop?
496
00:22:03,260 --> 00:22:05,420
Yeah!
497
00:22:09,980 --> 00:22:11,410
You deleted it, Liz, didn't you?
498
00:22:11,460 --> 00:22:13,370
You definitely deleted it, #ShitShop?
499
00:22:13,420 --> 00:22:14,570
Yeah.
500
00:22:14,620 --> 00:22:16,930
Well... I thought Kev did.
501
00:22:16,980 --> 00:22:18,290
I thought you did!
502
00:22:18,340 --> 00:22:20,740
Oh, Kevin and Liz, what have you done?
503
00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:25,210
Oh, it's not as bad as Anne made out!
504
00:22:25,260 --> 00:22:27,290
Just squirt a bit of
bleach and knock it off!
505
00:22:27,340 --> 00:22:28,850
I feel terrible.
506
00:22:28,900 --> 00:22:30,970
I'm going to I call in sick,
don't you feel terrible?
507
00:22:31,020 --> 00:22:32,650
- No.
- We have to say something.
508
00:22:32,700 --> 00:22:34,250
No-one's saying anything, Kevin!
509
00:22:34,300 --> 00:22:36,650
I've seen Happy Valley, I
know how this plays out!
510
00:22:36,700 --> 00:22:38,850
We fess up now, before it spirals.
511
00:22:38,900 --> 00:22:40,690
Remind me never to rob a bank with you.
512
00:22:40,740 --> 00:22:42,250
You're a very weak wingman, Kevin.
513
00:22:42,300 --> 00:22:44,530
We're not fessing up anything,
we didn't throw the shit!
514
00:22:44,580 --> 00:22:45,620
Or did we?
515
00:22:47,140 --> 00:22:48,650
- Did you?
- Course I didn't!
516
00:22:48,700 --> 00:22:50,530
What, you think I'd pick up a shit?
517
00:22:50,580 --> 00:22:52,730
Worse still, do one in
my hand and bring it...
518
00:22:52,780 --> 00:22:53,970
Have you seen it?
519
00:22:54,020 --> 00:22:55,330
Yes, yeah.
520
00:22:55,380 --> 00:22:56,650
It's not so bad.
521
00:22:56,700 --> 00:22:59,050
I think you'd... you'd
have to be looking for...
522
00:22:59,100 --> 00:23:00,450
I think if they didn't say #ShitShop,
523
00:23:00,500 --> 00:23:02,250
I think you'd just think
a bird had done it.
524
00:23:02,300 --> 00:23:07,250
I think what hurts most is
it's a store, not a shop.
525
00:23:07,300 --> 00:23:09,770
The police are saying it
started on the Acton Forum.
526
00:23:09,820 --> 00:23:12,970
- Police?
- Why?
527
00:23:13,020 --> 00:23:14,690
Why, Julia?
528
00:23:14,740 --> 00:23:16,850
What?
529
00:23:16,900 --> 00:23:18,410
Oh, yes.
530
00:23:18,460 --> 00:23:21,770
Just, I think people got carried away.
531
00:23:21,820 --> 00:23:26,250
Had too many drinks,
egged on by friends or...
532
00:23:26,300 --> 00:23:27,890
.. people they're friendly with?
533
00:23:27,940 --> 00:23:29,930
I'm sure they didn't mean any harm.
534
00:23:29,980 --> 00:23:33,050
Anyway, I'm a big fan of this
shop, so I'm going to pop inside
535
00:23:33,100 --> 00:23:35,620
and I'm going to spend, spend, spend!
536
00:23:42,660 --> 00:23:46,130
There's bound to be CCTV of the shop.
537
00:23:46,180 --> 00:23:49,130
There's CCTV everywhere!
538
00:23:49,180 --> 00:23:51,770
I'm not sure Gill would look after
the kids if I went to prison!
539
00:23:51,820 --> 00:23:54,330
You didn't do it, Kev, remember?
540
00:23:54,380 --> 00:23:57,730
Right, I've just spent
£236 in Hygge-bloody-Tygge,
541
00:23:57,780 --> 00:23:59,610
assuaging my guilt, which,
by the way, I'm only
542
00:23:59,660 --> 00:24:01,090
a third responsible for.
543
00:24:01,140 --> 00:24:04,090
You're the PR genius, who
came up with #ShitShop.
544
00:24:04,140 --> 00:24:07,090
- Thank you. - I don't know how you
can both act so cool about this, like
545
00:24:07,140 --> 00:24:09,970
nothing happened! We incited a hate crime!
546
00:24:10,020 --> 00:24:12,970
I think what we are all forgetting
in this is that it is a shit shop!
547
00:24:13,020 --> 00:24:14,450
It doesn't matter, Liz!
548
00:24:14,500 --> 00:24:15,890
Amanda was so upset!
549
00:24:15,940 --> 00:24:17,410
What do you want us to do?
550
00:24:17,460 --> 00:24:19,010
I want to do the decent thing!
551
00:24:19,060 --> 00:24:21,050
Admit our part in all of this!
552
00:24:21,100 --> 00:24:23,930
"Silence becomes cowardice, when
occasion demands the speaking
553
00:24:23,980 --> 00:24:26,890
"out of a whole truth
and acting accordingly."
554
00:24:26,940 --> 00:24:28,930
- Who said that?
- Ghandi!
555
00:24:28,980 --> 00:24:30,890
Yeah, and look what happened to him.
556
00:24:30,940 --> 00:24:32,170
I need some air.
557
00:24:32,220 --> 00:24:33,580
You're in a park, Kevin!
558
00:24:36,660 --> 00:24:38,330
He's breaking.
559
00:24:38,380 --> 00:24:39,970
We're going to have to cut him loose.
560
00:24:40,020 --> 00:24:41,210
What?
561
00:24:41,260 --> 00:24:42,890
Kill him?
562
00:24:42,940 --> 00:24:47,340
I was thinking more delete
him from our WhatsApp group.
563
00:25:01,620 --> 00:25:04,810
- Kevin, what are you doing?
- I can't get it out of my head!
564
00:25:04,860 --> 00:25:06,610
The guilt is eating me up!
565
00:25:06,660 --> 00:25:08,130
Why didn't you phone or text?
566
00:25:08,180 --> 00:25:11,130
Are you mental? And leave a paper trail?
567
00:25:11,180 --> 00:25:12,650
Go home and go to sleep.
568
00:25:12,700 --> 00:25:14,130
I can't sleep!
569
00:25:14,180 --> 00:25:17,690
I've had half a bottle of Night Nurse
and two chamomile teas and nothing!
570
00:25:17,740 --> 00:25:19,650
- Nothing! - Right, well,
just go and see Liz, then!
571
00:25:19,700 --> 00:25:20,970
Do you think Liz did it?
572
00:25:21,020 --> 00:25:22,380
Oh, fuck off, Kevin!
573
00:25:25,940 --> 00:25:27,540
All right, Kev?
574
00:25:29,340 --> 00:25:31,220
Still not looking at us.
575
00:25:35,900 --> 00:25:37,690
Something's up with Kevin.
576
00:25:37,740 --> 00:25:40,250
I'm really good at picking
up on these kind of things.
577
00:25:40,300 --> 00:25:42,210
All right, I can't deal
with this. Come on.
578
00:25:42,260 --> 00:25:43,610
Let's sort it out.
579
00:25:43,660 --> 00:25:44,930
Kev. Kevin.
580
00:25:44,980 --> 00:25:46,330
Kev? Kev? Look at me.
581
00:25:46,380 --> 00:25:48,970
Kev! Kevin! Look at me, look at me, Kevin!
582
00:25:49,020 --> 00:25:51,460
You're clearly upset about this.
583
00:25:53,780 --> 00:25:54,970
Just a bit, yeah.
584
00:25:55,020 --> 00:25:57,490
What do you want us to do? What
would make you feel better?
585
00:25:57,540 --> 00:25:58,970
What would make me feel better?
586
00:25:59,020 --> 00:26:01,090
Um... we tell the truth!
587
00:26:01,140 --> 00:26:02,970
All right, OK!
588
00:26:03,020 --> 00:26:05,490
If that's what you'd like, that's
what will make you feel better,
589
00:26:05,540 --> 00:26:07,090
that's fine. OK?
590
00:26:07,140 --> 00:26:09,490
Because you are our friend
and we care about you,
591
00:26:09,540 --> 00:26:10,980
Liz will take the rap.
592
00:26:14,620 --> 00:26:16,490
Why am I doing this again?
593
00:26:16,540 --> 00:26:18,730
Because you don't care, Liz,
and you've got nothing to lose.
594
00:26:18,780 --> 00:26:21,210
And Kevin's having your kids
for the next four Saturdays.
595
00:26:21,260 --> 00:26:22,700
Oh, what?
596
00:26:24,300 --> 00:26:26,570
Look lovely and svelte
in that picture, Amanda.
597
00:26:26,620 --> 00:26:27,850
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
598
00:26:27,900 --> 00:26:30,170
- It's a lovely shot.
- It's gorgeous.
599
00:26:30,220 --> 00:26:34,130
- What's all this?
- ActonToday.co.uk about the incident.
600
00:26:34,180 --> 00:26:36,730
Main body of the website, next
to profile on Adrian Chiles
601
00:26:36,780 --> 00:26:39,820
- visiting a city farm.
- Right, that's... - Amazing!
602
00:26:41,340 --> 00:26:42,530
So funny, Julia!
603
00:26:42,580 --> 00:26:44,570
I've had more press
from a crap on my window
604
00:26:44,620 --> 00:26:47,370
than from your entire PR push!
605
00:26:47,420 --> 00:26:49,570
Anne's had to restock
the pencil plates twice!
606
00:26:49,620 --> 00:26:51,290
- Twice? - Yeah. - Twice! - Yeah.
607
00:26:51,340 --> 00:26:53,650
Well, right, then it's
all worked out in the end!
608
00:26:53,700 --> 00:26:57,170
- But, um, we just wanted to say...
- No, no!
609
00:26:57,220 --> 00:27:00,780
Nothing, great. I think
that sounds wonderful.
610
00:27:02,140 --> 00:27:03,420
Job done, then.
611
00:27:07,060 --> 00:27:08,690
Can I help you with something, Julia?
612
00:27:08,740 --> 00:27:11,050
No, no, just interesting
that you think this, um,
613
00:27:11,100 --> 00:27:15,340
this flurry of press attention just,
um, miraculised out of nowhere.
614
00:27:16,500 --> 00:27:19,290
- What do you mean?
- What do you think I mean? Think about it.
615
00:27:19,340 --> 00:27:20,330
Let's go!
616
00:27:20,380 --> 00:27:22,900
#You'reWelcome.
617
00:27:32,220 --> 00:27:34,260
Right, bubble tea?
46900
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