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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,790 --> 00:00:14,990 - Stop it! Give it! Give it back! - A total mess. 2 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:16,990 A total mess! OK, when we get there, we need to be really quick. 3 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,390 I'm just going to drop you in the playground, OK? 4 00:00:18,420 --> 00:00:19,530 Really, really quickly, no hugs, 5 00:00:19,550 --> 00:00:20,720 no kisses, nothing. 6 00:00:20,740 --> 00:00:22,740 Baby on board, arsehole! 7 00:00:28,930 --> 00:00:33,000 Why do we even need them? Why do we need to slow people down? It's ridiculous! 8 00:00:37,220 --> 00:00:40,410 Go on, you're supposed to do it there, that's what they're there for. 9 00:00:40,430 --> 00:00:42,430 That's why they plant them. 10 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,490 Don't do that, don't do that! 11 00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:46,070 Marie! Hi, at last. 12 00:00:46,100 --> 00:00:48,490 Erm... can you... No, my hands-free isn't working. 13 00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:50,330 Listen, can you, uh, can you put me on the phone to... 14 00:00:50,350 --> 00:00:51,650 Can you give Andrew a message for me? 15 00:00:51,670 --> 00:00:53,940 Can you just tell him that I'm running a bit late? 16 00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:56,990 I've got to drop the kids off at school. 17 00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:59,000 What? My kids, yeah. 18 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:02,420 Uh, a boy and a girl. Listen, I can't, uh, can't talk now, Marie. 19 00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:04,820 OK, bye. 20 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,620 Give me the Bop It. Give me the Bop It. 21 00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:09,130 Give me the Bop It! 22 00:01:10,330 --> 00:01:12,330 Someone's in a hurry, aren't they? 23 00:01:14,870 --> 00:01:16,840 What is this? What is this?! 24 00:01:16,860 --> 00:01:17,860 What?! 25 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,350 Come on, there's nothing there. 26 00:01:25,370 --> 00:01:27,370 There's nothing here, there's no hole, there's no roadworks, 27 00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:28,950 there's no traffic jam, there's nothing here. 28 00:01:28,970 --> 00:01:31,570 Why are you here? Why are you here?! 29 00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:34,900 OK, I'm going to go. I'm going to go. 30 00:01:34,930 --> 00:01:35,930 Go. 31 00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:50,620 Can you...? I'm sorry! 32 00:01:50,650 --> 00:01:52,470 Can you move back? 33 00:01:52,500 --> 00:01:55,490 Sorry. I'm so sorry. Can you go back? 34 00:01:55,500 --> 00:01:58,490 Just reverse! Move! Go back! 35 00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:01,240 Just go back! I'm stuck in again! 36 00:02:04,350 --> 00:02:08,470 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com 37 00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:12,500 Come on, faster! 38 00:02:19,250 --> 00:02:21,840 Come on, quicker! In we go, in we go. 39 00:02:21,860 --> 00:02:24,270 In, in! Which one is it? 40 00:02:24,300 --> 00:02:25,370 Here. 41 00:02:27,910 --> 00:02:29,960 All right, which is your classroom? I know it's not that one. 42 00:02:29,980 --> 00:02:32,790 Hello? Hello. 43 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:35,790 Hello, Ivy. Hello, James. Sorry, you are? 44 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:38,790 - I'm Julia, I'm their mum. - Oh, of course. 45 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:41,800 - Have you got an appointment? - No. I was just here to... 46 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:46,800 Did you forget it was half-term? 47 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:50,500 No. 48 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:52,790 Children are in their school uniforms. 49 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:55,760 Yeah. That's because they're going to a... 50 00:02:56,450 --> 00:03:00,160 back to school disco/children theme party. 51 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:03,790 Are you here to see Mrs Lawson? 52 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:06,790 - Who? - The headmistress. 53 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:10,050 Yes. Yes, that's why I'm here, that's what I'd like to do. 54 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:11,460 OK. OK. 55 00:03:15,470 --> 00:03:18,130 Ivy didn't mention anything about being bullied. 56 00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:20,410 It's classic victim behaviour. 57 00:03:20,430 --> 00:03:21,810 Who's doing this? 58 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:27,800 - Leo Martin. - Leo Martin?! 59 00:03:29,370 --> 00:03:31,070 But you know he's five? 60 00:03:31,100 --> 00:03:32,100 Yes. 61 00:03:33,250 --> 00:03:37,800 Yes, my understanding is that he is an evil... 62 00:03:39,170 --> 00:03:40,800 ...child prodigy type. 63 00:03:42,250 --> 00:03:43,800 Let me speak to Leo's teacher. 64 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:45,620 - Please do. - Janet. 65 00:03:46,180 --> 00:03:48,570 Oh, Leo's teacher, you are Leo's teacher. 66 00:03:48,590 --> 00:03:50,400 Listen to this. Leo Martin. 67 00:03:50,420 --> 00:03:52,370 Leo? Has something happened to him? 68 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:54,980 No, no, he's been bullying little Ivy. 69 00:03:55,010 --> 00:03:56,370 Bullying? 70 00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:58,390 What kind of bullying? 71 00:03:58,970 --> 00:04:01,660 Mind... games. 72 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:04,760 Overtly condescending, tapping into her insecurities, 73 00:04:04,790 --> 00:04:08,000 I think he said some things about her online. 74 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:13,950 - So, what's going on now? - I'm calling Leo's mum. 75 00:04:13,980 --> 00:04:16,000 Don't worry, we will get to the bottom of this. 76 00:04:16,030 --> 00:04:17,350 Go for it. 77 00:04:23,220 --> 00:04:25,830 Do you know what? I just, I think, um... 78 00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:29,990 I think I should just check the facts with Ivy first, 79 00:04:30,010 --> 00:04:31,130 because now I come to think of it, 80 00:04:31,130 --> 00:04:35,560 she can be a little untrustworthy and manipulative herself. 81 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:41,390 Thank you so much for this. 82 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:43,690 It's like a weight off. 83 00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:46,370 I already feel so much better about it already. 84 00:04:46,590 --> 00:04:49,200 Thank you. Thank you. 85 00:04:50,900 --> 00:04:54,260 Actually, while I'm here, are there any clubs on this half-term? 86 00:04:54,290 --> 00:04:56,090 Chess? Latin? 87 00:04:56,110 --> 00:04:58,090 I just don't like them to switch off. 88 00:04:58,110 --> 00:04:59,630 Is there anything happening today? 89 00:04:59,660 --> 00:05:02,030 Like now? Is anything happening right now? 90 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:07,400 OK, kids, forget school, we're not doing school. 91 00:05:09,990 --> 00:05:11,300 Right. 92 00:05:11,930 --> 00:05:12,930 OK. 93 00:05:14,020 --> 00:05:16,710 Two minutes, two minutes, I'll be back. 94 00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:27,360 Mum? 95 00:05:28,970 --> 00:05:30,150 Mum?! 96 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:31,880 Oh, my God! 97 00:05:33,670 --> 00:05:37,830 I can see you. I know you're in there, hiding behind the sofa. 98 00:05:37,850 --> 00:05:39,400 Mother! 99 00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:45,390 - Mother! - Julia, is that you? 100 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:46,920 Yes, it's me. 101 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:51,370 Were you hiding? 102 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:54,520 No, I-I was having a lie down. 103 00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:56,630 Behind the sofa? 104 00:05:57,700 --> 00:05:59,580 I had a fall. 105 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:02,300 Why are you acting like you're 90 years old or something? 106 00:06:02,330 --> 00:06:03,610 Oh, right. 107 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:07,760 I see. Yeah, nice, yeah. They really suit you. 108 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:10,540 Uh, so when did you get back from your cruise? 109 00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:12,060 - Yesterday. - Oh, that's funny, 110 00:06:12,090 --> 00:06:14,630 because Paul saw you in Waitrose on Saturday. 111 00:06:14,660 --> 00:06:16,570 I must still be on Caribbean time. 112 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:18,910 You're here now, that's the main thing. I'll go and get the kids. 113 00:06:18,930 --> 00:06:21,100 - Julia. Julia! - What? 114 00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:22,470 - We talked about this. - Talked about what? 115 00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:24,790 I'm not doing it any more, I can't. 116 00:06:24,820 --> 00:06:28,470 I love them to bits, but I can't look after them any more. 117 00:06:30,050 --> 00:06:32,020 Sorry, I thought that's what the holiday was for, 118 00:06:32,050 --> 00:06:33,970 - I thought... - No. No. 119 00:06:34,660 --> 00:06:37,600 In fact, the holiday made me even more certain. 120 00:06:38,290 --> 00:06:39,510 After my lung collapsed... 121 00:06:39,530 --> 00:06:41,220 - It didn't collapse! - My lung did collapse! 122 00:06:41,250 --> 00:06:44,710 OK, I'm not having this argument again. If you're really serious about this, 123 00:06:44,740 --> 00:06:48,550 how about we think about starting that in the new year, 124 00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:52,660 and we can work out a way of getting you some free time. 125 00:06:52,690 --> 00:06:56,180 - No, Julia, from now. - OK. What about next month...? 126 00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:59,400 No, now, Julia. Starting from now. 127 00:07:04,430 --> 00:07:05,430 OK. 128 00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:10,870 - I'm sorry. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 129 00:07:10,890 --> 00:07:13,770 I haven't got time for sorry. Unless it's "Sorry, I've changed my mind." 130 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,520 - Is it "Sorry, I've changed my mind"? - No. 131 00:07:15,540 --> 00:07:17,440 Right! Haven't got time for sorry. 132 00:07:18,420 --> 00:07:21,390 No, no. Haven't got time for that. 133 00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:32,550 You know, it was your idea to have grandchildren, Mother! 134 00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:38,820 What about Jelenka? 135 00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:41,390 She's a cleaner, she's not a baby-sitter! 136 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:43,600 Anyway, I really don't trust Jelenka. 137 00:07:43,620 --> 00:07:45,880 I'm almost certain it was her that ate my Easter egg that time. 138 00:07:45,910 --> 00:07:49,200 - Why don't we have a nanny again? - What? No, I've told you... 139 00:07:50,090 --> 00:07:53,310 I really want the children to be brought up the way I was. 140 00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:55,390 - By my mother. - What can I get you? 141 00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:57,540 Look, I've got to go. Let's talk more later. 142 00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,430 What am I going to do for the rest of the week? 143 00:07:59,450 --> 00:08:01,390 You know, I work too, you know. 144 00:08:01,420 --> 00:08:04,180 Oh, God. There's this Peter Mandelson thing on Thursday. 145 00:08:04,210 --> 00:08:08,670 Yeah, I know, and listen, whatever you decide, I am right behind you. 146 00:08:09,070 --> 00:08:10,790 - Bye. - Paul! 147 00:08:11,850 --> 00:08:14,030 Paul! Paul! 148 00:08:14,050 --> 00:08:16,090 Oh, you go ahead, I haven't decided yet. 149 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:19,280 Thanks. I'll have a Matcha please, and a... 150 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:27,800 Charlie, drop it. You're not getting an iPad. 151 00:08:27,820 --> 00:08:31,390 Santa doesn't do them, the elves don't have the technology. 152 00:08:32,020 --> 00:08:35,620 I wonder if Amanda knows about the situation up at Toasty's. 153 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:39,150 Situation at Toasty's? What situation at Toasty's? 154 00:08:39,170 --> 00:08:41,170 Another breast-feeding incident. 155 00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:42,940 They asked Deirdre to cover up. 156 00:08:44,110 --> 00:08:46,060 I tell you, Liz, if it was men doing the feeding, 157 00:08:46,090 --> 00:08:48,760 there'd be blokes all over this cafe with their breasts out. 158 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:50,430 Hmm. Yeah. 159 00:08:50,450 --> 00:08:52,390 I'm just going to see if Amanda heard about it. 160 00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:54,390 - Don't! - What? 161 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:56,990 - It's not going to happen, Kevin. - What's not? 162 00:08:57,020 --> 00:09:00,010 We're not getting on the big table, they don't want us there. 163 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,030 You're going to have to accept it. 164 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:04,400 I'm just going to have a word. 165 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:11,530 "Oh, hi, Amanda, just wondering if you heard about the war on tits at Toasty's?" 166 00:09:11,560 --> 00:09:15,120 "Oh, sorry, Kevin, my friends and I were hoping you'd died." 167 00:09:15,140 --> 00:09:18,390 "OK, great, I'll send round an e-mail to discuss an appropriate response." 168 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:21,720 "Do whatever you like, my computer shits all your e-mails to a spam folder." 169 00:09:21,740 --> 00:09:24,950 - "OK then, bye." - "Bye. Go away forever." 170 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:39,400 - I'm going to send round an e-mail. - Yeah. 171 00:09:45,090 --> 00:09:49,390 No, no, Duncan, today's out, okay? Just forget about today. 172 00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:51,040 I'm minding my kids. 173 00:09:52,830 --> 00:09:54,980 Boy and a girl. Five and nine. 174 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:56,250 Look, Duncan, 175 00:09:56,270 --> 00:09:59,970 I don't need to be there to watch Elaine print out a press release. 176 00:09:59,990 --> 00:10:01,780 I'll definitely be there on Thursday. 177 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:03,800 I'm working on it, OK? 178 00:10:17,270 --> 00:10:18,910 - We can go swimming. - Yes. 179 00:10:18,930 --> 00:10:21,260 - That'd be OK. - And Miguel is watching yours and mine, 180 00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:23,780 - and we're getting the mani-pedi...? - Guys. Guys. 181 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:27,400 Go play with those kids over there. 182 00:10:31,630 --> 00:10:33,450 No, the other ones! The other ones. 183 00:10:34,680 --> 00:10:37,370 Yeah, I'd love to see it. 184 00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:39,390 - Bit long. Bit long. - It was. 185 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:42,390 - Because you do lose concentration... - I do, I do. 186 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:44,680 And Friday, you and I could do yoga... 187 00:10:44,710 --> 00:10:48,530 Awwww. Aw, they're getting on really well, aren't they? 188 00:10:48,550 --> 00:10:50,550 Sweet. 189 00:10:51,340 --> 00:10:53,630 It's Julia, isn't it? 190 00:10:53,650 --> 00:10:56,250 That's right. And you're...? 191 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:02,160 - Could you just say your name? - Amanda. 192 00:11:02,180 --> 00:11:04,180 That's right. 193 00:11:04,980 --> 00:11:08,000 - How do we know each other? - Our kids are in the same class. 194 00:11:08,020 --> 00:11:11,030 Yes! Yes, yes, that's right, because... 195 00:11:11,050 --> 00:11:13,390 Ivy's always talking about... 196 00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:15,400 Erm... your... 197 00:11:16,270 --> 00:11:18,400 - Manus. - Manus! Yeah. 198 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,500 Have a seat. Budge up, Anne. 199 00:11:24,910 --> 00:11:28,390 So, where's your mum this morning? She still on her holiday? 200 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:32,220 Uh, no, no, she's back all right. 201 00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:35,720 I, uh... just thought I'd give her a break, so I took the day off. 202 00:11:37,210 --> 00:11:40,210 You work so hard. 203 00:11:40,230 --> 00:11:43,390 I really admire how you can just switch off your family 204 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:47,340 and focus on your job, because... this is my personal thing... 205 00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:50,850 I would just hate myself too much. 206 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:55,190 Yeah, I, I hate myself too much... 207 00:11:55,220 --> 00:11:59,030 - No, but I think I'd really hate myself. - But I have to... 208 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:03,280 I just love my kids too much. 209 00:12:03,300 --> 00:12:05,940 Yeah, I love my kids too much, too, but I... 210 00:12:05,970 --> 00:12:07,970 I'd die for my kids. 211 00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:14,330 Yeah... I'd die for my kids. 212 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:17,050 If I had to, if I had... no choice. 213 00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:21,770 Melissa's sitting there, sorry. 214 00:12:21,790 --> 00:12:23,390 Oh, absolutely. 215 00:12:24,580 --> 00:12:27,390 So, Amanda, I'll pop a few ideas in an e-mail, 216 00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,740 what to do about the Toasty's situation. 217 00:12:30,950 --> 00:12:33,870 - OK, Kevin. - Great. Let me know your thoughts. 218 00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:36,110 You all have my phone number, don't you? 219 00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:39,630 Well, I did put it in my last e-mail, so everyone should have it. 220 00:12:40,730 --> 00:12:43,730 Did everyone get my last e-mail? 221 00:12:43,750 --> 00:12:46,180 It had the subject heading, 'Urgent'. 222 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,790 Tell Melissa we said hi. 223 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:52,960 - Slut. - Kevin? 224 00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:55,100 - No, Liz. - Oh, right. 225 00:12:55,690 --> 00:12:59,180 Oh, sorry, everyone, I've got a flat on Airbnb, 226 00:12:59,210 --> 00:13:01,530 and the idiots have locked themselves out. 227 00:13:01,550 --> 00:13:04,550 Ugh! Manus, Georgie. 228 00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:06,000 Anne? 229 00:13:06,030 --> 00:13:09,220 Is there any chance you could take Manus and Georgie back to yours 230 00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:11,880 - while I sort this out? - Oh, God, I'm sorry. 231 00:13:11,910 --> 00:13:14,390 Chris is at home from work, playing a computer game with swearing in it, 232 00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:17,400 - so we're staying out the house. - I'll take them. 233 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:21,100 - I could take them. - You would? 234 00:13:21,860 --> 00:13:24,060 Oh. Are you sure? 235 00:13:24,270 --> 00:13:25,830 Yeah! Yeah, totally sure. 236 00:13:25,860 --> 00:13:28,370 You go, go and do your thing, it's no problem. 237 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,390 I can take them, it's fine. 238 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:32,600 That's what we do, isn't it, us mums? 239 00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:34,780 Scratch each other's backs, so I could take... 240 00:13:34,810 --> 00:13:39,030 I could take them today, and you could, say, have mine on Thursday, for example. 241 00:13:40,210 --> 00:13:42,710 Well... thank you. 242 00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:45,390 I'll give you my address. Anne, write it down. 243 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:48,390 I'm having some mums and kids over later for spag bol. 244 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:50,310 You and your lot are included. 245 00:13:50,340 --> 00:13:52,070 So, do you want to bring them back for that later? 246 00:13:52,100 --> 00:13:54,090 - Say, six? - Six?! 247 00:13:54,820 --> 00:13:56,390 OK, OK. 248 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,130 - Or four? - No. Six. 249 00:13:58,150 --> 00:13:59,440 Six it is. 250 00:14:02,610 --> 00:14:05,010 This is very kind of you, Julia. 251 00:14:05,030 --> 00:14:07,920 - I'll get you back another time. - Yeah, say, Thursday? 252 00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:09,640 Thursday? 253 00:14:12,770 --> 00:14:15,080 I just said I haven't got any money. 254 00:14:15,110 --> 00:14:17,080 Yeah, I will be there, Andrew, I will. 255 00:14:17,100 --> 00:14:19,790 I just have some childcare issues today, so... 256 00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:21,990 A boy and a girl. 257 00:14:22,590 --> 00:14:25,200 Aah, Jesus! Five and nine! Who cares? 258 00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:27,400 Andrew? 259 00:14:31,890 --> 00:14:33,120 Ow! 260 00:14:35,790 --> 00:14:38,390 Manus, can I have a crisp? I didn't have any breakfast. 261 00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:39,840 No! 262 00:14:40,150 --> 00:14:42,810 - Can I just have one crisp? - Stupid horse. 263 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:45,400 Just sit on it. Just sit on it! Rock it. 264 00:14:46,770 --> 00:14:48,770 Stick two pennies together. 265 00:14:48,790 --> 00:14:49,880 What? 266 00:14:49,910 --> 00:14:52,700 If you stick two one-pences together, it thinks it's a pound. 267 00:14:54,610 --> 00:14:56,040 Thanks. 268 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:03,640 Thanks. 269 00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:08,690 You all right? 270 00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:12,290 Yeah, I'm just not really used to being with my kids like this. 271 00:15:12,310 --> 00:15:14,370 Now there's all these other ones. 272 00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:17,400 The one with the plait's just been really mean to me. 273 00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:21,850 Look, I live just over there. Do you want to come and have a cup of tea? 274 00:15:25,990 --> 00:15:28,910 I'll just wait for the horse to finish, cos I just want to get my money's worth. 275 00:15:28,930 --> 00:15:30,100 Sure. 276 00:15:38,970 --> 00:15:41,370 Here we are. Downton Abbey. 277 00:15:44,850 --> 00:15:45,850 Tea? 278 00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:48,390 Yeah. You haven't got any herbal, have you? 279 00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:52,050 Fennel, ginger, jasmine or mint? 280 00:15:52,070 --> 00:15:54,520 Ooh. I'll have a mint, please. 281 00:15:54,550 --> 00:15:56,390 I'm joking, I don't have any herbal tea. 282 00:15:56,950 --> 00:15:59,390 Yorkshire. I've got tea from Yorkshire, how's that? 283 00:15:59,420 --> 00:16:01,780 - Yeah, OK. - Hey, guys... 284 00:16:04,370 --> 00:16:07,060 Oh. No milk. 285 00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:11,930 - So, what about you? Do you work? - Yes, I organise corporate events. 286 00:16:11,950 --> 00:16:13,550 - Wow. - On Thursday, 287 00:16:13,580 --> 00:16:17,900 I've got Peter Mandelson presenting the Women In Construction Awards. 288 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:20,400 Was it Mandelson who was on I'm A celebrity? 289 00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:22,870 No. 290 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:25,390 Don't know who you're thinking of there. 291 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:28,430 Wish I could restart my career by eating worms. 292 00:16:30,750 --> 00:16:32,750 Paul Burrell. That's who it was. 293 00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:37,980 Should they be doing that? Is that not... um... 294 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:39,560 - No, it's fine. - Wheee! 295 00:16:39,580 --> 00:16:41,320 That's why I put the mattress there. 296 00:16:42,890 --> 00:16:45,550 - Do you work? - I was at Citizens Advice, 297 00:16:45,580 --> 00:16:49,390 but one of my calls got recorded for training purposes, so... 298 00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:51,400 that was that. 299 00:16:53,790 --> 00:16:56,390 - What time is it now? - Just past midday. 300 00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:58,400 Fucking hell. 301 00:17:00,090 --> 00:17:02,090 Are you going to this spag bol thing? 302 00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:04,000 Nah, none of that lot like me. 303 00:17:04,020 --> 00:17:07,200 I'm single, so they're afraid I'm going to steal one of their fat husbands away. 304 00:17:08,500 --> 00:17:10,260 I'm going to make a pizza for the kids. 305 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:12,390 Charlie gets a bit punchy if he hasn't eaten. 306 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:14,770 All right, let's get these lunatics rounded up. 307 00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:19,940 Uh-uh, excuse me, we are not animals. 308 00:17:19,970 --> 00:17:21,970 Use a magazine, please. 309 00:17:22,970 --> 00:17:24,970 Actually, Liz, I will have something. 310 00:17:24,990 --> 00:17:28,620 I didn't have any breakfast and I forgot to eat at the cafe. 311 00:17:28,650 --> 00:17:31,370 Oh, shit, sorry, there's no more pizza. 312 00:17:31,860 --> 00:17:35,400 - Cheese sandwich? - If it's not a hassle. I am starving. 313 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:41,400 - You can freeze cheese? - You can freeze anything. 314 00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:45,990 - Do you want a hand with that? - No, it's fine. 315 00:17:46,010 --> 00:17:50,730 I just need to hack into it to carve out some slices. 316 00:17:52,790 --> 00:17:54,880 - Oh, shit. - What? 317 00:17:54,910 --> 00:17:57,890 Can you call a cab? I think I need to go to A&E. 318 00:17:57,890 --> 00:18:00,110 - What? Why? - Cut my finger off. 319 00:18:00,140 --> 00:18:02,110 You cut your finger off? 320 00:18:02,130 --> 00:18:03,600 - Aaah! - Oh... 321 00:18:03,630 --> 00:18:06,110 - Aaaah! - Don't, don't! Just keep it together. 322 00:18:06,130 --> 00:18:07,830 - Your finger is off! - Focus. 323 00:18:07,850 --> 00:18:09,390 - Aaah! - Just focus! 324 00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:11,180 An ambulance, yes? 325 00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:12,850 An ambulance. You need an ambulance. 326 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:15,390 - Just call a cab. - OK. 327 00:18:16,500 --> 00:18:17,900 Neil's Taxis... 328 00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:19,730 0207... 329 00:18:19,750 --> 00:18:21,200 ...9. 330 00:18:21,530 --> 00:18:23,630 Hi, I need a taxi. 331 00:18:23,630 --> 00:18:26,180 - What's your address? - 29 Minell Street. 332 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,080 29 Minell Street. 333 00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:32,660 They said it's £50 if you bleed on the seat again. 334 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:34,290 - That's fine. - That's fine. 335 00:18:35,180 --> 00:18:36,400 OK. 336 00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:38,390 Aaah! 337 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:40,690 Ooh! 338 00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:43,780 - Oh, will you be OK? - Yeah, I think so. 339 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:45,630 I'll try and get back as quick as I can. 340 00:18:45,660 --> 00:18:47,720 Great, just out as quick as you can. 341 00:18:47,740 --> 00:18:48,790 - Yeah. - Yeah. 342 00:18:48,810 --> 00:18:50,510 Any idea how long these things take? 343 00:18:50,540 --> 00:18:53,390 Liz? Any idea how long these things take? 344 00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:59,740 Hi, Liz. I was just phoning to see how you are, 345 00:18:59,770 --> 00:19:02,970 and I was just wondering what to do with your kids. 346 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,670 I have to go to this spag bol thing. 347 00:19:05,700 --> 00:19:11,390 I am so hungry and all your food is frozen. 348 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:15,390 Um, no pressure, but it is half-five now. 349 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:19,090 OK, see if you could just give me a call. Bye. 350 00:19:24,710 --> 00:19:25,900 I've got it! 351 00:19:28,110 --> 00:19:29,600 Keith! 352 00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:32,630 Keith! Keith! 353 00:19:33,220 --> 00:19:35,360 Keith! Keith! 354 00:19:37,550 --> 00:19:39,070 Ah, Keith! 355 00:19:39,090 --> 00:19:40,680 It's Kevin! 356 00:19:40,710 --> 00:19:42,380 Keith! Keith! 357 00:19:43,580 --> 00:19:46,090 - Kevin! - Wait there, wait there! 358 00:19:47,980 --> 00:19:49,630 My God, is she all right? 359 00:19:49,660 --> 00:19:52,390 No, no, she's fine, she just cut off a bit of her finger. 360 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,670 But listen, I have now got... 361 00:19:55,340 --> 00:19:58,850 just a massive amount of children. 362 00:19:58,870 --> 00:20:01,390 Could you help me with all these children? 363 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:04,680 - Oh, yeah, yeah. Of course. - I'm just so hungry, Kevin. 364 00:20:05,270 --> 00:20:09,190 Amanda's having a dinner, are you sure? I haven't heard anything about it. 365 00:20:09,210 --> 00:20:11,710 That's just an informal thing. It's just a... 366 00:20:12,090 --> 00:20:14,690 It's a spag bol drop-in thing. 367 00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:16,390 Oh, wow. 368 00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:18,590 What are we waiting for? 369 00:20:19,530 --> 00:20:20,840 Hey, everyone. 370 00:20:20,860 --> 00:20:24,150 We're all going for spag bol at Amanda's. 371 00:20:35,620 --> 00:20:36,920 Something smells good! 372 00:20:38,130 --> 00:20:41,120 Can somebody else keep an ear out for the door? 373 00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:45,670 That's not the point, the point is they're being picky 374 00:20:45,700 --> 00:20:48,300 because they know they can be. Yeah. 375 00:20:48,710 --> 00:20:51,600 Well, we just have to play the same game that they're playing. Aren't we? 376 00:20:51,630 --> 00:20:53,210 What are you doing?! 377 00:20:54,190 --> 00:20:57,180 Down there! Down there! 378 00:20:59,190 --> 00:21:01,080 Yeah. I don't know. 379 00:21:01,100 --> 00:21:02,790 Mad woman and a load of kids. 380 00:21:04,060 --> 00:21:07,740 - Something smells good. - Oh, hey! 381 00:21:07,770 --> 00:21:10,550 Aw, Julia, thank you so much. 382 00:21:10,580 --> 00:21:12,390 Oh, they were as good as gold. 383 00:21:12,670 --> 00:21:14,990 - Hello. - Kevin's also here. 384 00:21:15,590 --> 00:21:16,590 Oh. 385 00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:20,700 - Yes. - A blackboard wall. 386 00:21:21,270 --> 00:21:23,390 I've always wanted a blackboard wall. 387 00:21:24,180 --> 00:21:25,870 What do you write on it? 388 00:21:26,670 --> 00:21:29,180 Just... what's written on it. 389 00:21:31,870 --> 00:21:33,400 Walnuts. 390 00:21:33,670 --> 00:21:36,280 - Yeah. - What are you going to do with walnuts? 391 00:21:36,300 --> 00:21:38,080 I'd love to eat a walnut. 392 00:21:38,100 --> 00:21:41,780 Liz cut her finger off, so Kevin's been helping me with the kids. 393 00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:45,060 - Liz cut her finger off? - Yeah, just the top half. 394 00:21:45,090 --> 00:21:49,030 Oh. Well... help yourself to wine, um... 395 00:21:49,030 --> 00:21:52,370 - and we'll probably start serving soon. - Great. 396 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:55,610 I've always wanted a look around your house, Amanda. 397 00:21:56,050 --> 00:21:58,410 There's nothing I like better than going into other people's houses 398 00:21:58,430 --> 00:22:00,430 and having a good old poke around. 399 00:22:07,650 --> 00:22:08,860 Yeah, yeah. 400 00:22:08,890 --> 00:22:11,260 Those two seem to have gotten over the Liz thing. 401 00:22:11,290 --> 00:22:13,980 Passed by Monday. Storm in a teacup. 402 00:22:15,290 --> 00:22:17,700 The Liz thing? What, her finger? 403 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:21,010 Ian gave Liz a lift home a few nights ago. 404 00:22:25,870 --> 00:22:27,390 No, sorry, you lost me. 405 00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:31,720 So, Ian gave Liz a lift home... 406 00:22:31,740 --> 00:22:33,220 You don't know? 407 00:22:33,550 --> 00:22:35,370 Liz slept with Melissa's husband. 408 00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:38,850 Fuck! God, really? 409 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:42,390 I did not know that. 410 00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:46,000 You sure? She doesn't seem like the type who'd be arsed. 411 00:22:48,780 --> 00:22:50,390 Where are the kids? 412 00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:51,860 Gone a bit quiet. 413 00:22:57,030 --> 00:22:58,340 Ah. 414 00:23:01,510 --> 00:23:02,850 Hello. 415 00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:05,060 Just here to pick up my kids. 416 00:23:05,090 --> 00:23:06,840 - Hello, hello. - Oh! 417 00:23:07,250 --> 00:23:11,910 Liz! No, you should stay, it's turned into a bit of a free-for-all. 418 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:16,390 So, um... help yourself to a glass of wine. 419 00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:18,240 Oh, I shouldn't, I'm on painkillers. 420 00:23:18,270 --> 00:23:21,390 Oh! Finger... Julia said. How is it? 421 00:23:21,420 --> 00:23:23,690 It's not too bad. Still works. 422 00:23:45,780 --> 00:23:47,390 They're not feeding the adults, Liz! 423 00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:49,400 They're not feeding the adults! 424 00:23:54,470 --> 00:23:56,390 None of these dicks like me. 425 00:23:56,990 --> 00:23:58,100 Dicks! 426 00:23:59,530 --> 00:24:02,120 - I'm sure that's not true. - They hate me. 427 00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:04,270 Dicks! 428 00:24:04,550 --> 00:24:06,100 You know why that is, don't you? 429 00:24:06,130 --> 00:24:07,570 - What? - You know. 430 00:24:07,590 --> 00:24:09,870 - No, I don't know, Kevin. What? - Well... 431 00:24:11,350 --> 00:24:13,860 Because you slept with Melissa's husband. 432 00:24:18,180 --> 00:24:20,170 Is that what they're saying? 433 00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:21,200 Yeah. 434 00:24:22,970 --> 00:24:24,400 That's interesting. 435 00:24:26,770 --> 00:24:30,210 Yeah, so we went to the hospital on Wednesday and they had the results 436 00:24:30,230 --> 00:24:34,390 of the scan, and basically they think it was a small stroke. 437 00:24:34,610 --> 00:24:36,910 - Oh, no. - Oh, no! 438 00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:43,200 Sorry, I heard "small stroke", I don't know who that was, 439 00:24:43,230 --> 00:24:46,390 but that is terrible, whoever that was. 440 00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:47,700 My husband. 441 00:24:47,730 --> 00:24:51,730 Ugh... yeah. Must've been a real pain in the arse. 442 00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:53,800 How did that happen? 443 00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:57,560 He was playing a computer game, 444 00:24:57,580 --> 00:25:01,610 and I noticed his arm just dropped down the side of the sofa, 445 00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:05,390 and when I went to take his hand, it just... 446 00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:09,390 ...it felt like... a little dead bird. 447 00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:26,740 Oh, there's some more. I'll just put that in the bin. 448 00:25:31,740 --> 00:25:33,050 Julia! 449 00:25:34,530 --> 00:25:36,030 What are you doing? 450 00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:39,230 Oh, I was just... 451 00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:42,390 Uh, I was just picking up the leftovers. 452 00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:45,390 If you were hungry, you could've just asked. 453 00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:47,390 You're making me feel like a bad hostess. 454 00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:50,210 - Oh, I'm sorry. - Do you want me to cook you something? 455 00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:53,390 I can't bear to see you eat out of the bin like a homeless person. 456 00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:56,390 No, no, I wasn't eating out of the bin, it's just I... 457 00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:57,740 I was just, you know, 458 00:25:57,770 --> 00:26:00,210 I just thought there would be food here for the adults. 459 00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:02,400 - Oh, God. - Wow. 460 00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:06,410 Well, Julia, I've been dealing with something, 461 00:26:06,620 --> 00:26:09,390 and I'm sorry I didn't have time to lay on a banquet. 462 00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:10,590 No, I didn't mean... 463 00:26:10,620 --> 00:26:12,250 Do you want me to cook you an omelette? 464 00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:13,830 - Honestly, I'm fine... - No! 465 00:26:13,860 --> 00:26:17,360 I insist. I can't have my guests eating out of the rubbish. 466 00:26:17,750 --> 00:26:19,890 Does anyone else want food? 467 00:26:20,260 --> 00:26:22,890 Anyone? I'm making Julia an omelette. 468 00:26:23,780 --> 00:26:24,980 Anyone? 469 00:26:25,770 --> 00:26:28,170 I'll have an omelette, actually, Amanda. 470 00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:31,860 Saves me defrosting some eggs when I get home. 471 00:26:31,890 --> 00:26:35,390 And while I get the chance, Melissa, I should say I feel bad. 472 00:26:35,690 --> 00:26:38,560 I feel bad. I should've cleared the air and apologised 473 00:26:38,590 --> 00:26:43,140 for taking your fat husband's virginity 20 years ago. 474 00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:46,440 And while I'm at it, Anne, 475 00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:49,210 can you RSVP to Charlie's birthday party, 476 00:26:49,230 --> 00:26:51,050 because he really wants Darius there, 477 00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:54,370 and it'll break his fucking heart if his best friend doesn't make it. 478 00:26:54,740 --> 00:26:56,110 - Yeah. - Thank you. 479 00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:04,840 - What's going on? - Amanda's making us an omelette. 480 00:27:04,860 --> 00:27:06,480 Ooh, yes, please! 481 00:27:10,430 --> 00:27:13,320 Wow, you must give me the recipe for that omelette. 482 00:27:14,630 --> 00:27:16,020 Eggs. 483 00:27:16,230 --> 00:27:18,480 Yeah. Keep it simple. 484 00:27:19,290 --> 00:27:20,970 So, um... 485 00:27:20,990 --> 00:27:23,980 shall we, um, firm up Thursday...? 486 00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:25,550 Thursday's not going to work for me now. 487 00:27:25,570 --> 00:27:27,570 - Lovely to see you all. - Oh, I... 488 00:27:31,350 --> 00:27:33,400 Did she just slam the door in my face? 489 00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:39,390 That's a whole network of helpful mums I have no access to any more. 490 00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:43,590 Oh, well. You can't make an omelette without telling a few skinny bitches 491 00:27:43,620 --> 00:27:44,800 to go fuck themselves. 492 00:27:44,830 --> 00:27:47,830 I can have a word with them if you like, that might help. 493 00:27:49,190 --> 00:27:51,800 Oh, screw them. We don't need them. 494 00:27:51,830 --> 00:27:54,390 We've got our own little gang right here. 495 00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:56,670 Oh, all right, I'll take them Thursday. 496 00:27:56,700 --> 00:27:58,480 Oh! Thank...! 497 00:27:58,870 --> 00:27:59,980 Oh! 498 00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:02,400 I really appreciate it. 499 00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:08,400 - And Friday, can you do Friday? - Ugh. 500 00:28:08,620 --> 00:28:13,620 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com 37790

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