All language subtitles for Deux enfoirés à Saint-Tropez (1986).1080p.en(1)

And if he wants
to stretch his legs?

Paul is allergic to certain words
like "alarm clock."

and "walking by foot."

Here we go!

Here, for your trouble.

Go ahead, buddy.
Anywhere there's grass.

Like Belleville
or Bois de Boulogne?

I have a solid deal
to offer you, my old friend.

Paul!

- Paul!
- Leave me alone!

- Where are you going?
- I'm going back!

Stop, it's not a hotel.

You go back to your trash can,
and forget about me, okay?

That trash can, as you call it,
doesn't belong to me.

And if you continue...

Oh, and, furthermore,
is it a stolen car?

Not stolen, Paul. Just borrowed.

But I don't feel like explaining
the nuance to the cops.

- What did you do with my shirts?
- In the closet with the rest.

- And where are we going?
- To the coast.

- For what?
- Nothing!

You need girls,
my friend, oxygen, and sunshine!

- But what else?
- Nothing more.

A vacation.
I'm offering you a vacation.

A vacation... And with what?

What we earned from our last job.

For you, nothing,
for me 4 months behind bars.

Well, I have a friend who's lending us
his villa for 15 days.

Sounds great, right?

You just have to sunbathe
every day in peace.

Last time
I ended up in the shade.

-I think this will do it.
-You've already started the bullshit.

- Do you want to walk there?
- I don't want to steal a car.

8 days on foot,
8 hours by car.

You choose.

Shit, I didn't think about the traffic.

Well, deal with it.
You're the techie.

Well, when we hitchhike,
we have to expect everything.

- I'd like to hitch a ride with you.
- Leave me alone!

Wait for me!

- Hey!
- There's a problem with a girl.

- Dirty trick! Is she attractive?
- Officially.

What are you waiting for,
the national anthem or what?

Here we go!

- Drop that bag!
- Listen, I was just joking.

Putting your hands on the girls
you pick up hitchhiking?

Chantal! What are you doing?
We've been waiting for you forever!

I get it, though.
You have a great ass.

Jump in before he reacts.

Her name isn't Chantal.

- Sir, please.
- What?

- 200 francs for the gas.
- The gas...

- There you go.
- Thank you.

Thank you, sir!

Thank you, but my name is Evelyne,
not Chantal.

It's better.

- Is he going to chase us?
- Oh, I doubt it.

So, what do you do for a living?

Me, nothing.

- And you?
- I help him.

Can you open the gate, Paul?

- Do you think, or are you sure?
- I think I'm sure.

Come and see.

- Is there someone?
- Not just someone, it's someones!

- A horde of someones!
- No.

- Yes.
- Officially?

It's incredible, this.
It's incredible, huh?

- Incredible or impossible!
- What?

It's impossible with you!

It's incredible
that I followed you again!

But it was supposed to be deserted!

There's enough to get back to Paris,
so get in and shut up!

Well, I have a house, and I'm tired.

So, turn back. Tomorrow,
it will be daylight. OK?

At the table.

What time is it?

10 o'clock.

At night or in the morning?

You must have been sleeping in late
for a long time.

If he's an imaginary friend,
we're leaving in an hour.

Don't bother...

I've got it.

- Good morning, Aunt!
- Good morning, kids! Did you sleep well?

In short, but intense.

- She's unreal.
- I love her.

She's good with mechanics.

And you haven't seen her paint.

How's it going, boss?

Hi, Eric. - Paul, my partner.
Eric Moretti, my friend at the villa.

- Hello, Paul.
- Hello.

- Hello, Mrs. Erickson.
- Hello, Eric.

- Paul?
- Yes, sorry?

- Can you hold my umbrella?
- With pleasure.

Well, come on, let's go have a drink.

All right, enjoy yourself, okay?

That way.

- Hey, the handsome one!
- Hi, Fred!

- Julius, a friend.
- Very pleased.

Fred, the boss.

- How's it going?
- It's going well.

- Fred?
- Yeah?

- Can you come for a moment?
- Of course.

Excuse me, it's work.

Sorry about last night.

But my father showed up
unexpectedly with a client.

Couldn't put you up.
You're not mad, are you?

Don't worry about it,
we've solved the problem.

- You know Evelyne?
- Yeah, since yesterday.

- And you're already at her place?
- Life is like that, isn't it?

- You staying?
- We don't have much money.

- Eric?
- Yes?

- Do you know a lifeguard?
- Why?

- He left with a client.
- It's worse.

- Paul.
- Paul?

Oh yes, Paul!
He's a lifeguard in Paris!

Paul? Oh yes, of course.

Is he available?

- Uh, recently, yeah.
- Shall I fetch him? I'll go.

You're saving me!

Thank you, my dear Paul.

- Bye-bye.
- Bye.

Paul, come on!

I've found a situation.

- Another crazy idea?
- No, come.

I'm not taking another step
until you explain.

Hey, don't you trust me?

Fred.

This is my friend Paul.

- Hi, Paul.
- Are you going to learn rhythmic dance?

- What?
- Excuse me. Hello? Yes?

- Is he going to teach me to swim?
- No, you're going to teach others.

- Are you crazy? I can't swim.
- So what? You won't be in the water.

Understood! 2 people at 1 PM!

Thank you. So?

- OK.
- What can I offer you?

A glass of milk.
He's a real athlete.

That's great, Paul.
Come on, don't be grumpy.

It will go well!

And if someone drowns?
What will I do?

What's it to you?
You're not a lifeguard.

Julius, the cops.

Gentlemen.
Your car is parked illegally.

I doubt it.

This car is parked
in a no-parking zone.

Maybe, but it's not ours.

- It's not yours?
- Officially.

Your papers, please.

So?

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

When you tell the truth,
nobody believes you.

Julius!

Is there a problem?

Can you go up, Paul?
I'm going home with Evelyne.

Okay, I'm coming up.

And the car?

What car?
We never had a car.

We're going to a club tonight.

- Do you know her?
- Huh? What?

Do you know this girl?

A little. Let's go.

Here you go, champ.
A gift for you.

What are you working on there?

I'm performing surgery on the beast before
Auntie switches from the club to the grenade.

You're right. That would be a mess.

You're going to be a big success.

Clever, huh?

Hey, your assistant.
In case things get tough.

Go drown yourself.

Great.

With oil. Hold on.

Mrs. Erickson!

It's for you!

Hello, Houston?

- This is the Moon.
- Yes?

A Earthling friend of yours
wants to get in touch with you,

so if you wouldn't mind
landing for a moment...

Thank you.
Thank you, my dear Paul.

Yes? Yes? Ah...

Uh, just a moment... Evelyne.
Evelyne! My dear.

Dorothée is looking for a
rhythmic dance teacher.

Is there a competent guy
among your buddies?

Me, I am.

Really? Could you, Julius?

Of course, it's my profession.

Then, my dear,
you are incredibly lucky.

Hello, luck.

There's a boy...

- Do you intend to do it?
- Officially.

- Do you think you will succeed?
- Of course.

Take Dominique Rocheteau.
Have him play in La Courneuve.

There's always a jerk in the stands
who says:

"He looks like Rocheteau,
but he plays worse!"

Now, if you have his look-alike
play at Parc des Princes,

45,000 people
will find him out of shape,

but not a single one
will think it's not him.

Have you had a shock or something?

- Let yourself be carried away...
- Well, you've never been able to dance.

You're as flexible as a lamp glass.

Leave it to those who can do it.

It's great. Only you know
how to prepare them.

He must not drink often.

No, but he understands everything
about women.

There are my father and his guests.

- Is everything going to be okay?
- We'll manage, Julius.

Hey, you're going to get run over
on the straightaway, buddy.

Have you ever seen me get run over?
Forget it!

I beg your pardon
for wanting to excuse myself.

- Where is Eric?
- Outside, with Sophie.

Julius! He's a charming guy.

He teaches dance.

Do you know this guy?

He lives at my place,

him and his friend.

They're my niece's acquaintances.
Very funny.

A little spacey,
but charming.

I think I know where they are.

Don't shoot the joint,
it's a friend.

- You scared me, you idiot.
- It's emotional at that age.

Tell me, Eric, who is
the guy accompanying your dad?

Whenever you want, huh.

- The Christmas tree?
- That's the one.

I don't really know,
but lots of money, in any case.

Well, congratulations and thanks again.

- Well, I'm going back to dance.
- See you.

Who interests you more?
This guy or the girl with him?

- You want an answer right away?
- Just curious.

First, I'm into girls only.

- Secondly...
- Secondly...

- Does this answer suit you?
- Halfway.

I'm willing to delve deeper
into the matter, but...

It's my aunt's boat.
Come.

- Is it really reasonable?
- You're anything but reasonable.

Is it war?

Let them do it without us...

What's happening?

Aunt must have negotiated
the Jeep with a grenade.

Have you noticed, Paul,
how music is intimately connected

with memories,
and brings them to life?

Mrs. Erickson...

you're the most adorable glider
I've ever met.

We crashed into bed,

and the war is over.

- Paul?
- Yes, ma'am?

- Have you ever loved?
- Yes, ma'am, I've loved before.

- Loved?
- It's an expression.

I must admit I don't always understand
what you and Julius say.

But...
I really like you, you know?

So?

So, she was celebrating the anniversary
of a lost love during the war.

Which one?

'39-'45! An aviator.

Tell me, Evelyne, did she know

other soldiers?

I don't know, why?

There was Indochina,
Algeria, 1968,

so hello
to early morning wake-ups.

Not to mention
that I make the body ecstatic.

- You make the body ecstatic?
- I have sex, if you prefer.

Don't say that.

To have sex is to have intercourse.
But you make love to me.

The day you have sex with me,
as you say...

I'll dump you.

Well, that's incredible.

You don't like it when I say "have sex"
while making love to you?

But that's unrelated.

Anyway, Paul, I'm not wrong.
He said he was right.

Well, yes.

I don't understand him.

Me neither.

How do you know

it's not the same?

Evelyne.

You're pissing me off.

- Your girlfriend annoys me.
- Oh, she's irritating.

But you were a bit harsh.
It's still her house.

That's true, yeah.
She's adorable, though, right?

- Figure it out, she's your girl.
- Don't say "girl," Paul!

Say "girlfriend"
or "fiancée" or "significant other."

- We're both here!
- Exactly!

What,
haven't we always said "girl"?

- No one can hear!
- There you go!

We say it, and that's how
we lose a house!

- I'll talk to her.
- Yes, meet me at the beach.

Oh, don't forget your float.

Amusing.

Never put your head in the water.

Never.

See you soon, then.

Keep your head out of the water.

Out of the water.

- How's it going with Paul?
- It's going well.

Paul.

Paul, can you get me an ice cream?

Do you think you've earned it?

You have beautiful eyes.

Kiss me.

You're a star

with the kids, Paul.

You see, it's going well.

I'm looking forward
to seeing him in action.

I'll tell you
the result of the game.

Easy.

Easy.

Do you know where the boss is?

Oh no, dear Sir.
You can check with the staff.

Tell me,

which one of you
takes care of this beach?

It depends, why?

I don't have time
for riddles.

I need to see Mr. Moretti,
the art expert.

- Oh, you've come for the master.
- No, to see him.

What can I do for you, Mr...

Saedi. Mr. Saedi.

I'm expected by Mr. Moretti.

He's here.
I'll take you to him, sir.

So, are you coming?

Paul.

Well, I'm going for a swim.

Are you coming?

- Here's to our reunion!
- Cheers!

Ah, the truth would have been a shame.

That dress makes you look
at least 20 years younger.

Flatterer.
And how much do you give me?

Barely 50.

- Jo, come on.
- What did I say?

Hey, you'll bring us
another bottle of Piper.

And make it chilled this time.
With a coffee. Hot, if possible.

Hey!

We'll have coffee at the bar.

I've never seen a guy as dumb
as this Saedi.

He must be practicing.

- Hey, ladies.
- Hi.

Don't forget, we have a lesson
at 7 p.m.

I don't have a good
feeling about this guy.

- The opposite would surprise me.
- Oh yeah? Why?

- Because you're hooked.
- On Evelyne?

It's official.

- Coffee, gentlemen.
- Thank you, Franky.

Paul, can you do me a favor?

Sure, go ahead.

Replace me,
I'm doing waterskiing at 3:30 p.m.

- Why, are you seasick?
- No.

I have an urgent business
to negotiate.

Oh, I see.
Okay, it's fine with me.

But Fred...

Fred doesn't care
as long as the job gets done...

Thank you.

What do you think of the mother?

- Calm.
- Not that one, the other one.

- What do you mean, the other one?
- The brunette.

Stop daydreaming.

The mother of the kid.

The one who's sunbathing on her mattress.

We've slept with uglier ones, you know.

- Why?
- Because you've got a great body.

Go for it, attack hard,
just push there!

- You have an idea, right?
- Don't lose sight of me.

Mom!

Are you okay, sweetie?

- Mom!
- Don't cry, sweetie.

- Thank you, sir.
- Paul, my name is Paul.

Thank you, Paul.

You're welcome, I'm paid for it.

Julius!

Yeah, baby?

Does my aunt turn you on?

No. Well, yeah.
I don't know. Why?

Because if that's the case,
ask me first.

No need to drown me.

You know I like you,
little one?

Shall we get some ice cream?

Are you trying to hit on me,
sometimes?

Yes, but be careful,
my fiancée is jealous.

- Me too.
- That sounds promising.

What's the matter?
What's making you laugh?

But nothing, Jo.
The craziness of these big kids.

But what's with him?
What do you see in him?

Nothing, he makes me laugh, that's all.

- That's all. Is that it?
- You're not going to start that again, are you?

Oh yes,
because it's my fault.

- Joseph.
- Yes?

You'll be amazed
by the talent of Mrs. Erickson.

She paints original paintings.

Oh, Charles...
Incorrigible flatterer.

Hey!

Professor?

Do we have an appointment, I believe?

Take a seat.

- I'll be with you in a minute.
- I'll leave you.

What's the matter, Milka?
Get on board with the sailor.

The sea air will do you good,
my daughter, you'll see.

Well, since you insist.

- Welcome aboard, Madam.
- Miss.

Do you know how to ski?

He's asking me
if I know how to ski?

I was born with water skis
on my feet, my mother told me.

So, for speed,
you don't have to worry.

Come on, let's go.

There you go,
water skiing instructor.

- Yes. And lifeguard too.
- I know.

I've been able to appreciate
the quality of your heroic rescue.

But what's this?

A gift from Julius.

You still can't swim?

Don't worry about your bland boyfriend.

- Don't worry, he can swim.
- I hope so.

- You're still thinking about that girl.
- Not at all.

You imitate it well, always.

But you seem preoccupied.

Not preoccupied, just curious.

Are you afraid Paul
will steal her from you?

Paul can't take from me

what already belongs to him.

Is it a habit
to leave me without warning?

You shouldn't have

let me go.

- Tell that idiot to leave.
- He's annoying me!

Come on, go!

Stop it! He's crazy!

Slow down, Paul, you'll drown him!

It would make him less stupid.

Stop it! Please!

Stop it!

What do you find good about that guy?

- I'm securing.
- At what cost?

Clarify your thoughts.

I'm annoyed to see

that you've become a doormat
obeying that guy's orders.

But it's good to see
that you've retained your personality.

- I hate you!
- Flattery leads nowhere!

Did you have a problem?

That idiot
made me lose my balance!

- Some people deserve a good slap!
- I couldn't agree more.

- Hello.
- Hi, beautiful returnee.

Evelyne. Milka.

Milka!

If you want,
I can write you an excuse note.

Don't you start too!

- So, did it go well?
- Leave me alone, will you.

It didn't go well.

7 and 8, and 1, 2...

When do we start, Mom?

When the teacher arrives.

- Well...
- And 1, 2...

3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.

And 1, 2, 3, 4, 5...

Come in.

Dorothée?

That's me.

Mrs. Erickson sent me.

Come in.

But, Nanouchka didn't tell me
that you were injured.

She didn't know.

I don't understand.

Earlier,
I fell off my motorcycle.

But as I promised
to Madame Erickson

despite a busy schedule

to help you...

You out with your dance classes...

- I know you, don't I?
- Oh?

I saw you on TV.
With Maurice Béjart!

You're a dancer in his troupe!

- Yes, indeed.
- Do you dance for Béjart?

Hello again.

- Julius isn't with you?
- No, he's teaching a dance class.

- Julius is teaching a dance class?
- Yes, it's his new thing.

Out!

What do you mean, out!

She's behind the line.

Do you want my glasses or what!

He thinks he's McEnroe, that guy!

- You want one?
- Thanks.

You prepare yourself
before receiving the ball.

There you go, come on.

In love?

- Yeah.
- She's my first Martian.

I don't know how it's going to turn out.

Hey, the comments
in the newspaper!

How do you expect me
to concentrate if you're talking?

Give me the towel, will you!

I swear, that guy,
I'll get him, you'll see!

Like a sausage!

We wonder
where he learned to play, seriously!

So, are we going!

You throw it to me! A serve!
Come on, please!

- Your friend is nice.
- You think so?

No.

Hit in front of you. There...

What are you doing
in Saint-Tropez?

Nothing, I followed Jo,
on a business trip.

- Is he into antiques?
- He's into business.

Damn it!

Well, I think it's my turn.
François won by default.

Did you see what he did?
Did you see?

A great lob.

A lob, my ass!
A sausage, you mean!

He completely missed it
and it's out!

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.

You didn't have to tell your mom
that I'm as gay as a seal.

We removed the part, right?
It reassures her.

At least, no stories about girls
from the class.

- Tell me, Julius?
- Yes, little buddy?

What do you really do
for a living?

We're careful.

Did you learn the splits
from a semi-truck?

- Where's my partner?
- In the restroom.

Wait, he's not alone.
He's negotiating with the dwarf's mom.

- In the restroom?
- Where he can stand.

Paul...

Yes...

Yes... I'm coming!
I'm coming! I'm coming!

She's coming.

I hope she's not climaxing
while stuttering.

He drowned her.

How romantic. Bravo!

- Why do you have a cast?
- You take pleasure where you can.

A profession, right?

- Damn, Gustine's mother.
- So what?

So, I'll be stuck with this cast
all evening.

Oh, my little Julius, there you are.

- You've won over my daughter.
- She's absolutely charming.

Hey, have you lost it or what?

Gustine sabotaged me.
I'll explain.

Oh, a barbecue!
How charming.

- Our stones are moving, huh.
- Excuse me?

Dorothée, let me introduce you
to my buddy Paul.

Hello, Paul.

Too bad.

I feel like I'm going to be a seal.

He's a bit rough, you know?

Dorothée!

Dorothée, my dear. Come.

Excuse me, my little Julius.

- Doing my best.
- Gustine has already told us everything.

You're snitching now?

No, I'm informing.

Don't you think
they're extraordinary?

Truth is, they are truly
extraordinary...

How about we let them discuss
business?

Could you place a few?

Not even my concierge wants it.
It's garbage.

It's crap.

A goat comes home from the hairdresser
and says...

Milka!

Maybe I'll make an effort
if our deal goes through.

Remember, Jo.
This is the last time...

Did you call me, Jo?

The Aziza, give me another Martini,
please.

Haven't you had enough?

Listen, don't get involved,
please, alright!

My friend Moretti and I
are working on a new deal.

Serve yourself!
I'm not your maid!

She has character, huh?

I ran into a friend in Courchevel.

And did you hurt yourselves?

Falling... hurts...
Ouch, ouch, ouch.

- May I?
- If Mr. Moretti sees you...

He knows,
and as he's a gentleman,

he won't make any comments.

- Something needs to be done.
- We'll take care of it.

So, Julius?

- And that leg?
- Oh, it comes and goes.

I'd like a Martini rosé as well.

Julius...

What would you do
if you had 100 million?

- I'd get out.
- Where to?

It depends on who it belongs to.

Oh, yes,
that's what I thought.

Come, I'll show you something.

I earned my first billion
at 25.

That's fascinating!

And at what age did you lose
your first wife?

Is it expensive?

About 300 million centimes.

Both of them.

Oh, really?

- We're not here to break them.
- It doesn't matter.

They're fake.

Where are you going with this,
Mr. Moretti?

Julius, may I call you Julius?

Julius, I have a problem.

And my son Eric thinks
you can help me.

I'm listening.

I'd like to take Gustine back,
It's getting chilly.

Thank you, my little Paul.

Turn up the music!

You should go with Paul.

We can't lie to ourselves.

We'll take care of it.

Save yourself.

- Is there room for one more?
- With pleasure.

So, Auntie, how's it going?

I have...

Like a deep crack, you see?

But how you talk, Auntie.

But Auntie's hip, my dear.

Joseph Saedi, a fence.

But if he has the originals,
what does he want from you?

He's a cautious man

and he wants to ensure
the authenticity of the statuettes.

What can you tell me
about the originals?

Not much,
I know that an accomplice

of Saedi's
will bring them by boat.

And the expertise will take place on board.

Once Saedi is satisfied,

the statuettes will return
the same way.

That leaves little time
for the exchange.

It's imperative

that the substitution takes place
before the expertise.

Absolutely.

Do you still model?

No, I quit.
Jo didn't want me to work.

Where did you find this rare bird?

At a fashion event,
after I left you.

How about going for a swim?

Good idea. You'll have to return
my body to Julius.

Milka! Come!

I want you!

What is she doing?

Milka! Damn it!

Come here!

Leave me alone!
You have what you need, right?

She has quite a character, huh?

So, we're in agreement.

As far as I'm concerned,
no problem.

We don't often get the chance
to pick up 100,000 at once.

You'll need to convince Paul.
I won't do anything without him.

But I trust you.
You'll manage to persuade him.

Your optimism moves me, Mr. Moretti.

Where were you two
all this time?

- Where's Paul?
- Where's Milka?

And the other acrobat?

He's diving.

This is the first time

I've seen you go
so far into the water.

You almost couldn't touch the bottom.

Why did you let me go, Paul?

What did I have to offer you, Milka?

But what are you and Julius running from?

Does love frighten you?

Just now, while walking Gustine back,

I had a strange flash.

I imagined myself
with a woman and a child.

- It must have been horrible.
- Not horrible.

No, not horrible.

Utopian. For now.

No, Milka.
Love doesn't scare us.

We all dream of it.

But not at any price.
Not in any way.

I have to go.

You need to move with more
grace, Madam, always with flexibility.

Never put your head in the water.

Never in the water...

- Did it go well last night?
- What?

Did it work out?

- Last night, with Milka.
- Oh yeah, very well, thank you, Franky.

Say, you don't seem so happy this morning.

Watch your big catch, Paul.

Careful, for heaven's sake!
I can't swim!

Neither can I!

Am I screaming?

What am I saying, then?

No, Madam, it's very good

for a first lesson!

It's perfect, very good.

You have a problem.

Mind your own business,
go get your buoy, it's yours.

- Not a chance.
- There you go.

And may I know the reason
for your refusal?

Because I intend to live a long life.

A lifeguard who can't swim,

is already dangerous.

And in love, it's downright suicidal.

Hey, watch it, little one.

You seem to know a lot,
do I look that obvious?

Do you want ice cream?

- Here, Aunt.
- My head... Darling, not so loud.

- Champagne?
- Alka-Seltzer.

- Aunt, Aunt, you have a date!
- Oh, really? With whom?

This little party went
really well, didn't it, my dear?

- But what's wrong with you since last night?
- Milka is a bit tired.

So what?
I'm still going for it.

- Tell me, Paul.
- Yeah?

What do you think about putting
down roots once and for all?

- You're the one asking me.
- We could stop struggling.

- What do you think?
- We don't have the means.

- We'll see.
- But we don't have a penny.

For now.

- But if we make a big score...
- I told you no.

Don't touch me!

Are you crazy!

- I'll kill him!
- Don't be an idiot.

Where do you think you are?

Stop it!

- Is it going to be okay?
- It's fine, Franck, thank you.

It's over now.

Come on, sit down and calm down.

- What happened?
- I can't take it anymore.

But calm down, I'm fine.
A moment of anger.

Go take a walk.

What's going on?
Is it a party?

He doesn't look happy.
What's wrong with him?

Get going, I don't want to see you
anymore! And you, I want to take a walk!

Hey, Paul!

Leave it to me.

Ah, business is picking up.

Don't be an idiot, Paul...

- What's he going to do?
- Probably something stupid.

Is he out of his mind? Come on!

Lift me up!

Lift me up, I'm telling you!

A huge turd! Stop!

Oh, for God's sake!

Stop!

He's crazy! He's crazy!

Lift me up!

What's going on?

I swear on my mother's life,
am I dreaming or what?

He cut it off!
This idiot did it!

If I catch you and
your boat, I'll blow it up!

I swear, I'll blow it up!
Where am I going?

Where am I going?

They're going to make me pay more
for the sightseeing tour!

And my mother thinks
I'm having fun!

Hey, where did he come from?

Do I show up
or shoot this stranger?

It's not true!

- Do you feel better?
- So, Moustique, are you having fun?

If he tries to touch you again,
I'll break him in two.

We won't be able to start over.
Him and me, it's over.

- What are you going to do?
- Don't you have a little idea?

You're going to struggle again...

I don't care.

Paul!

Come over, we need to talk.

Well, see you later.

How can Moretti deal
with someone like Saedi?

Because of a phony old expertise.

I see.

If we replace the real ones
with fakes,

Moretti can do his expertise
without getting involved.

What do we gain from it?

100 grand.

We sell the real ones
for 100 grand

that the insurance will give us,
instead of 300 to his client.

I suspected it.

How did you meet them?

Three years ago.
They fell into my bed.

Both of them?

He came to the apartment
above mine.

They came crashing
through the veranda.

- What did you say?
- Well, nothing. I was stunned.

Paul looked at me with a smile
and said:

"Guess who's coming to dinner tonight?"

So?

I stayed with Paul for 2 and a half years.

Well, 2 years of madness
and 6 months of prison visits.

I couldn't keep up.
I needed a break.

And now?

Now, nothing.

I don't ask myself any more questions.
We'll see.

Paul! Listen to me, Paul!

- I said no!
- It's a solid deal!

Well, your concrete,
either it gets bogged down when it's wet,

or we smash our heads
when it hardens.

Thank you, Madame.

Give me one good reason
to refuse.

I don't want to go back to jail.

Of course, that's a good reason.

Paul!

Paul!

Paul!

Oh, shit!

Hey, Paul!

Paul! Paul! Think about it!

100 grand! That's money, right?

Climb and shut up, will you?

Okay, let's not do it, fine.

So, explain to me
how you're going to live with Milka.

- I'm going to work.
- You?

- Officially.
- You don't even know how to spell it!

Being a worker is a profession.
You have to be born into it.

- Julius?
- Yes?

You annoy me.

Well, Paul.

Hello, Dorothée.

Hello.
And your cast, Julius?

- What, my cast?
- Did you have it removed?

Doctor's orders.
It needs to rest.

- Your leg?
- No, the cast.

- You got a problem?
- I got a flat tire.

- Hello, Mom. Are you winning?
- So far, it's going well.

Hi. Where's Julius?

In the girls' locker room.

If you took off your pants,
it would be easier.

No time.

Is everything going well for you?

It's getting good, I'm almost there.

Bastard!

Evelyne!

Are you coming with us?
Come on, are you coming?

What's gotten into you?

Come on, François,
we're going to be late.

Listen, Julius,
I'm willing to sew your button back on,

but if you keep fidgeting,
you're on your own.

- They're good, your birds.
- They're not birds.

- They're Vs.
- Oh, I see.

I don't intend to follow you.

Well, I admit it:
I was wrong to lose my temper.

Is that okay with you like this?

Listen.

I have a friend arriving tomorrow
afternoon by boat.

We could take the opportunity
to go to Monte-Carlo.

It's over, Jo. You're wasting your time.

Goodbye, Mr. Saedi.

Thank you, Madam.

This guy's driving me nuts...

You know what I mean.

You take a hammer grip
and a reverse grip, like this.

Come on, backward.

Place the racket
behind your neck.

And shift your body weight forward.

- Shall we start over?
- Come on. Get into position.

Slightly grip it from the reverse.

Turn your racket a bit. That's it.

Straighten up. Like a bird.
There you go.

What's that idiot doing?

Put your shoulder forward
and follow through.

Apparently,

he's teaching her how to serve.

Well, how about a doubles match?

I thought you didn't care.

Come on, join in.

- Shall we have a game?
- Can't you run?

- Of course.
- Evelyne, you play with Paul.

I'll play with the ball boy.
It evens things out.

I'll serve.

- Aren't you warming up?
- I'm already fired up.

Do you know how to serve?

Ouch!

My head!

My head... Ouch, ouch...

- My hand!
- Are you okay, François?

- What's happening to me?
- I lost my grip.

You're not very smooth with the ladies.

Well, explain it to her, Paul.
Do something!

Evelyne! Listen to me!

- Leave me alone!
- Don't be stupid!

Julius ripped his pants.

And he took off his cast
to put flowers in it.

- Is that it?
- Yeah. Well, no. No.

- Do you have another story?
- Seriously?

So?

- I'm good, you know.
- Me too, darling.

Me too.

- I still want you.
- Challenge accepted!

- What's wrong, my dear?
- Help me zip up my dress.

Hey, isn't that Julius' job?

- Are you two fighting?
- I thanked him.

- Oh! So everything's fine.
- Everything's the opposite of fine.

Listen, you tell me
you thanked him.

Listen, auntie.
I'm suffering, and it's already hard.

If I have to translate for you too,
it becomes impossible.

- Did you get all dolled up for me?
- No.

Evelyne!

Are you dating that mummy?

Good night.

I swear,
I'm about to pass out.

I didn't know
Jo had a double life.

I just realized.

Now that you mention it,
when Jo came to persuade me,

he mentioned a friend of his
who's arriving by boat tomorrow.

- Are you sure?
- Sure.

- Are you feeling down or something?
- Where's Evelyne?

She's out
with the other weirdo.

- Did you get burned?
- Sort of.

After all, it doesn't matter.
You don't care, do you, Julius?

Do you want to go to a club?
Just for the sake of it?

- Don't you want to dance, then?
- No, thanks.

We're sitting over there.

- Well, I need to talk to you.
- I'm going to dance.

- You're having a fight with Evelyne?
- No, he got left behind.

This misunderstanding was caused
by a mistake due to a misunderstanding.

It was a sewing issue,
but she thought

he was getting sponged off.

So, are we discussing
relationship problems, or do you have

something serious to tell us?

My father has to appraise
the figurines the day after tomorrow.

But he doesn't know yet
when the boat is arriving.

Tomorrow afternoon.

- How do you know that?
- It's my job, isn't it?

- You're not missing anything to operate.
- Except Paul's approval.

Why, can't he walk?

We'll see.
Saedi isn't easy to follow.

If he spots us or if we lose him,
we won't be able to find the boat.

Let the experts handle it.

Did you decide to go out after all?

Julius sort of pushed us into it.

- What are they doing?
- They're conspiring.

Can I join the conversation?

Excuse me. Are you coming?

Well, Fred sorted out the mess
with Saedi.

But you won't be doing parasailing
or water skiing anymore.

- Are you coming to dance?
- Oh, sorry!

I'll take care of it.

- The restroom, please?
- On the other side.

The restroom, please?

Splash some water on your face.

Here, put this on your nose. There
you go. Lift your head. You'll be fine.

You'll be fine. Lift your head.

What's wrong with him?
Is he not well?

Some days are just like that, right?

Hey, he's completely
turning away from the port!

Don't start stressing out!
We'll see!

I didn't know you knew
how to pilot these things!

Me neither!

Smart move, dude!

Without my brilliant idea,
we would have been screwed!

Yeah, but we'd be alive!

Hey, check this out!

Let's go down
and see that up close!

Do you think you can
land this thing smoothly?

It's a job!

- End of the deal.
- What do you mean, end of the deal?

- We just spotted the boat.
- And it's not where it should be.

- What's your problem with that boat?
- It's in the water!

Of course!
Where did you expect it to be?

In the scrubland?

I hope it won't spot us.

Apparently, it looks like
he's alone on board.

Alone or with 50 guys,
it doesn't change anything, let's drop it.

This boat is 50 meters from the shore.
It's not a big deal.

- For me, it is.
- Don't worry.

- I've got it all figured out.
- That's what worries me.

Come on, go put the ball away.
It's getting late.

Well, I'm off.

Lâcheur !

I came to get some diving gear.

You want to go night diving?

I know, that's why
we shouldn't make any noise.

If you keep treating me

like an idiot, I'll scream.

You don't believe me?

Not at all.

We need to talk
about life, you and me.

What do you want?

We'll take a Zodiac to the boat,
and then we'll sneak on board.

- Yes. And what if the guy catches us?
- No big deal!

- Go for it.
- Wait.

First, with the wetsuits,
he won't recognize us.

And if he moves a muscle,
we'll point this at him.

You wouldn't move, would you,
with this on your belly?

Get the paddle out!

- Help me, damn it!
- Don't let go of the gun!

There's no danger!

Evelyne!

Yeah?

Do you see what I see?

- Julius!
- Yeah?

The girls are watching us.
What should we do?

- Stay cool. Smile.
- Yeah.

- What are they up to?
- I have no idea.

Smile, I said.

You look concerned.
What's going on?

- You wouldn't believe it.
- Let's go back to dancing.

For now, we're doing fine.
It's not thanks to you.

You're alive, aren't you?
So stop complaining.

When I pull off a job, it's not
to end up in jail.

You annoy me with jail!
You didn't dive alone.

- I'm not in a competition.
- Wait.

You weren't supposed to come
to the port until tomorrow morning.

It's not you
struggling on that boat.

- Do you have them?
- Yes.

Go.

Well, anyway, everything will be okay
tomorrow morning.

And since you're here,
let's go have a drink.

- It's the only possible way.
- I'm afraid so.

Hey, wait for me there,
I forgot to close the trunk.

It's done, my friend, it's done!
Let's go!

Here's Saedi's friend again.

That was close.

- Are these the right ones, you're sure?
- Hey!

Sometimes, I get the feeling
that you take me for a fool.

So, are we leaving?

- Give it a try; You'll love it.
- We're not paddling anymore.

- How do you plan to get back?
- Alive.

Hello.

Mr. Officer!

- Mister.
- Do you have 1 franc?

It's for making a phone call.

Contrary to appearances,

I don't have any cash.

Thank you.

So, how was the fishing?

Shh, mosquito, there's a cop.

Mr. Moretti? It's done.

- Thank you, huh.
- Do we know each other?

Oh? Oh, well, it's possible.

We are the river police.

Yes, we just fished
this little girl out of the harbor.

We're going to take you back
to your parents. Don't be afraid.

I was so scared.

I suffered.

The water was getting
into my little lungs.

I was all alone.

Abandoned in the middle
of the vast ocean.

Okay, that's enough.

Can I borrow it for a second?

Excuse me, huh.

Thank you.

You got fooled.

What do you mean?

You stumbled upon
a cautious collector.

These statuettes are fake.

What do you mean?

No mistake?

Convinced?

Damn! It can't be true!

Damn, damn!

Keep this one as a souvenir.
It's still a beautiful reproduction.

Are you upset?

Not at all, but I find it hard
to believe that for once,

we didn't get away with it.

I wonder if, in the end,
I wouldn't have preferred a failure.

- Are you serious?
- We're going to get bored now.

When are we leaving?

As soon as Julius

has packed his bags.

- So, are you leaving?
- We're leaving.

- Why? Are you taking me?
- Of course.

I didn't plan to steal a car.

No unnecessary risks,
especially now.

- Is that the only reason?
- Do you see another one?

You have 2 seconds
to come up with a better one,

or you're going on your own.

Here comes Santa Claus.

I'll leave you.

- Hello, my dears.
- So, Dad, how's it going?

- I beg your pardon?
- She's asking if you're okay.

- If everything's fine, you know.
- Yes, tune in a little.

I'm not going to translate for you
every time.

Oh, really?
Okay, I'll try.

Really out of touch.

So, Mr. Moretti, are you satisfied?

Having to smash
2 authentic pre-Columbian statues

didn't particularly thrill me.

In plain language?

In plain language, we left
with the imitations.

- It's a joke.
- You see, I'm laughing to death.

Julius!

We didn't need to steal

Saedi's car.

Not steal, borrow.
It's not the same.

Let's not start living
above our means.

With that lousy Jeep, it would have taken
hours to drive back.

You agree, Paul?

You're not going to sulk for
10 years, are you?

OK, I made a mistake
with the statues. It happens, right?

No, Julius. It only happens to you.

Stop!

- What's happening to you?
- The statues are fake.

- Yeah, it's not news.
- So, impossible to negotiate.

- And where are you going with this?
- I've got a great idea!

- It's getting to him again.
- Paul!

I'm not listening to you anymore!

Do you still want to try
to control them?

More than ever.

We get a fake certificate of authenticity
to pass them off!

- Leave me alone.
- Listen, Paul!

It's your turn.

Paul! Think about it.
It's a solid plan!