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1
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:19,417
So when I'm not volunteering
at the children's hospital,
2
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:20,985
I'm traveling around the world,
3
00:00:21,087 --> 00:00:23,321
crusading for animal rights
and world peace.
4
00:00:23,424 --> 00:00:26,558
He's so perfect and handsome.
5
00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:28,740
Don't say anything stupid,
don't say anything stupid.
6
00:00:28,795 --> 00:00:30,362
I like lettuce.
7
00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:34,466
Lettuce is... nice.
8
00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:36,835
Oh!
9
00:00:38,405 --> 00:00:41,539
Ooh, I'm sorry,
I'm just a little nervous.
10
00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:44,109
I don't get to date much,
stripper's hours.
11
00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:46,512
It's great you're so honest
about what you do.
12
00:00:46,614 --> 00:00:48,880
I've dated girls in the past
who kept a lot of secrets.
13
00:00:48,982 --> 00:00:51,683
It was almost like they
were living a double life.
14
00:00:51,785 --> 00:00:54,186
Oh, really?
15
00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:57,889
This is a robbery!
16
00:00:57,991 --> 00:01:00,392
You, get me all the money
from the register.
17
00:01:00,494 --> 00:01:03,061
And you, get me
the chicken cordon bleu
18
00:01:03,163 --> 00:01:05,530
and the Caesar salad,
no croutons.
19
00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:07,465
And if I could get
the dressing on the side,
20
00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:09,734
that would be great.
21
00:01:10,337 --> 00:01:11,503
Oh, no!
22
00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:13,137
The restaurant's being robbed.
23
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,507
Erotica?
24
00:01:16,877 --> 00:01:18,776
How would you like a side
of ass-kicking
25
00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:20,311
to go with your robbery?
26
00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:24,115
Stripperella?
Oh, no, it's a... tampon?
27
00:01:24,217 --> 00:01:25,584
A tampon...
28
00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:27,085
Dagger!
29
00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:34,426
Oh, shish!
30
00:01:35,495 --> 00:01:37,028
Whoa!
31
00:01:41,001 --> 00:01:42,600
It burns!
32
00:01:42,702 --> 00:01:44,069
Make it stop!
33
00:01:44,171 --> 00:01:46,471
Okay, ha!
34
00:01:50,343 --> 00:01:52,143
That oughta hold you
'til the police arrive.
35
00:01:52,245 --> 00:01:54,546
Now, I've got a date
to get back to.
36
00:01:54,648 --> 00:01:56,414
I mean, no, I don't.
37
00:02:04,859 --> 00:02:07,058
Erotica, you missed it,
the place was robbed.
38
00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:09,761
Stripperella was here,
where did you go?
39
00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:13,398
Oh, uh, I had to put
money in the meter.
40
00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:14,933
But we valet parked.
41
00:02:15,035 --> 00:02:17,235
Oh, right, now, where were we?
42
00:02:17,337 --> 00:02:20,505
I was saying how great it is
that you are always so honest.
43
00:02:20,607 --> 00:02:23,875
Oh, yeah, that's me,
no secrets here.
44
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,643
Help!
45
00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:27,645
It's fire!
Fire!
46
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,983
I have to go put
more money in the meter!
47
00:03:18,465 --> 00:03:20,432
Hey, you're not my bride!
48
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,935
That's right!
I'm never the bride!
49
00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:26,537
I'm always the bridesmaid!
50
00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:27,672
What do you want?
51
00:03:27,775 --> 00:03:29,541
I wanna get married!
52
00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:32,210
But if I can't,
then, no one will.
53
00:03:32,312 --> 00:03:35,413
You may now kiss the bridesmaid!
54
00:03:37,685 --> 00:03:40,752
Aaahhhhh...
55
00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,663
Ahoy, mates!
56
00:03:52,765 --> 00:03:56,801
Feast your good eye on
the glorious treasure chest of
57
00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:58,770
Giselle!
58
00:04:13,152 --> 00:04:14,152
Arrghh!
59
00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:19,557
Oohhhh!
60
00:04:21,328 --> 00:04:22,627
Arrrh!
61
00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:30,067
Oh, I'm glad she doesn't do
62
00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:32,838
her chainsaw
juggling routine anymore!
63
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:34,305
Oh, please be gay,
please be gay,
64
00:04:34,407 --> 00:04:36,274
please be gay, please be gay!
65
00:04:36,376 --> 00:04:38,243
Erotica?
66
00:04:38,345 --> 00:04:40,044
James!
67
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:45,016
What a surprise!
68
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,487
Leonard, this is the guy
I've been dating.
69
00:04:49,589 --> 00:04:50,888
Nice to meet you.
70
00:04:50,991 --> 00:04:52,023
Now, if you'll excuse me,
71
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:54,626
I'm gonna go take a cold shower.
72
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,195
So, what are you doing here?
73
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,696
I just finished
my poetry workshop,
74
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:00,064
and I have a few minutes to kill
75
00:05:00,167 --> 00:05:01,311
before I go
to the homeless shelter
76
00:05:01,335 --> 00:05:02,434
to hand out food.
77
00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:04,202
So, I thought I'd stop by
and say hi.
78
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,404
Maybe tonight we can get
together at my place
79
00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:07,839
and watch some movies.
80
00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:10,808
As long as
it's a romantic comedy.
81
00:05:15,081 --> 00:05:16,547
Oh, that must be my belly... uh...
82
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:19,351
That's my pager...
Oh, I forgot,
83
00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:21,486
I'm supposed to drop off toys
at the orphanage
84
00:05:21,588 --> 00:05:23,054
on the way
to the homeless shelter!
85
00:05:23,157 --> 00:05:24,188
I'd better go.
86
00:05:24,290 --> 00:05:26,257
I'll see you tonight.
87
00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:30,629
Wow!
88
00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:32,831
He's cuter than a June bug
in a cackle bush!
89
00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:34,499
He's so romantic.
90
00:05:34,601 --> 00:05:36,301
I never thought
I'd meet anyone like him.
91
00:05:36,403 --> 00:05:38,537
I just wish I didn't have to lie
to him all the time.
92
00:05:38,639 --> 00:05:40,038
Lie to him about what?
93
00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:45,009
Oh, uh, I told him
that I used to be a man.
94
00:05:45,111 --> 00:05:48,079
Oh, you should tell him
the truth!
95
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:49,314
He'll still like you,
96
00:05:49,416 --> 00:05:52,283
even if he finds out
you've never been a man!
97
00:05:52,385 --> 00:05:53,985
Oh, I hope you're right.
98
00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:56,020
I really think
he might be the one.
99
00:05:56,123 --> 00:05:57,789
I think I'll steal him from you.
100
00:05:57,891 --> 00:05:58,790
Huh?
101
00:05:58,892 --> 00:06:00,592
What?
I'm a bitch, remember?
102
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,260
Oh, yeah.
Right.
103
00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:11,703
Chief Stroganoff, agent 69,
reporting for duty.
104
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:14,773
Uh, chief, what are you doing?
105
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:17,309
I'm just taking
some sexy boudoir photographs
106
00:06:17,411 --> 00:06:19,544
to surprise the wife with
on Valentine's day.
107
00:06:19,646 --> 00:06:21,579
But Valentine's day
was two months ago.
108
00:06:21,681 --> 00:06:25,183
Right...
Thank god I'm not married.
109
00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:26,885
I think we're done
for today, ling.
110
00:06:26,986 --> 00:06:28,520
See you tomorrow, same time.
111
00:06:28,622 --> 00:06:31,356
So, what's going on?
112
00:06:31,458 --> 00:06:32,957
It's not what's going on,
113
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,403
it's what's not going on
that's going on.
114
00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:36,494
Grooms all across the city
115
00:06:36,596 --> 00:06:38,396
have been vanishing
on their wedding day.
116
00:06:38,498 --> 00:06:39,631
Cold feet?
117
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:42,166
No, but my ass is freezing,
damn metal chair.
118
00:06:42,268 --> 00:06:43,735
I mean, the grooms.
119
00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:45,570
Maybe they just got
pre-wedding jitters.
120
00:06:45,672 --> 00:06:47,505
These men didn't just disappear.
121
00:06:47,607 --> 00:06:49,007
They were abducted
122
00:06:49,108 --> 00:06:51,542
by someone calling herself
"the bridesmaid".
123
00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:53,578
Ugh!
That dress is hideous!
124
00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,279
Yes.
125
00:06:55,381 --> 00:06:57,849
Polyester is so passรฉ.
126
00:06:57,951 --> 00:06:59,651
Now, here,
take these wedding videos.
127
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:01,586
There might be some clues
in there
128
00:07:01,688 --> 00:07:03,266
to help us figure out
where "the bridesmaid"
129
00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:04,656
is going to strike next.
130
00:07:09,296 --> 00:07:12,563
Oh, my baby boy
is getting married!
131
00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:17,268
This is the happiest day
of my entire life!
132
00:07:19,306 --> 00:07:22,574
Time to live happily
never after!
133
00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:29,046
Now, this is the saddest day
of my entire life!
134
00:07:36,656 --> 00:07:38,356
Huh?
135
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:41,025
To hold, and blah, blah...
Oh, just kiss the bride!
136
00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:57,408
These weddings are so beautiful!
137
00:07:57,510 --> 00:07:58,310
Well, except for the part
138
00:07:58,412 --> 00:08:01,246
where the grooms
all get abducted.
139
00:08:07,621 --> 00:08:10,455
Wait a minute,
the grooms' last names.
140
00:08:10,557 --> 00:08:13,457
Baker, Richards, Ikinawa,
Degbert.
141
00:08:13,559 --> 00:08:15,192
B-r-i-d...
142
00:08:15,294 --> 00:08:17,094
She's spelling "bridesmaid"!
143
00:08:17,196 --> 00:08:20,131
That means her next victim
is an "e"!
144
00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:22,900
Wedding announcements,
here we go.
145
00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:24,068
No...
146
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:25,171
No...
147
00:08:25,271 --> 00:08:26,371
"Emerson".
148
00:08:26,472 --> 00:08:29,240
The Emerson wedding,
today, at six!
149
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:32,410
Oh, no, I only have 15 minutes!
150
00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,145
It's a good thing
you're here, Ozzy.
151
00:08:34,247 --> 00:08:35,324
Otherwise,
I would have no reason
152
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,515
to explain everything out loud.
153
00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:42,454
Only 10 minutes to go!
154
00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:49,794
Darn!
155
00:08:57,470 --> 00:08:59,037
Double darn!
156
00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:12,250
Now, this is
just getting ridiculous.
157
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:18,189
Do you promise to be faithful
to your wife,
158
00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:20,925
to never again know
another woman's touch?
159
00:09:21,027 --> 00:09:24,395
To never again experience
the joy of sexual intimacy
160
00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:28,199
with anyone new or different
or more adventurous,
161
00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:29,467
or younger,
162
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:32,470
until sweet death
releases you from this vow?
163
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:33,604
Uh...
164
00:09:33,706 --> 00:09:35,339
I... I...
165
00:09:35,441 --> 00:09:37,475
Don't!
166
00:09:39,512 --> 00:09:42,813
Why don't you smell
my lovely flowers?
167
00:09:48,721 --> 00:09:50,721
Drop that groom, bridesmaid!
168
00:09:50,823 --> 00:09:52,156
I don't think so!
169
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:53,624
I've got exploding rice,
170
00:09:53,726 --> 00:09:55,493
and I'm not afraid to throw it!
171
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,462
Don't you know
not to throw rice at weddings?
172
00:09:57,563 --> 00:09:59,363
Birds eat it and they die!
173
00:09:59,465 --> 00:10:01,231
You're supposed to use birdseed!
174
00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:04,469
I'm sorry, but they were
all out of exploding birdseed.
175
00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:06,070
Ha!
176
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,509
I now pronounce you
foot in face!
177
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,611
You may kick the bride!
178
00:10:18,518 --> 00:10:20,885
Do you like my bouquet?
179
00:10:20,987 --> 00:10:22,420
Stripperella, look out!
180
00:10:22,522 --> 00:10:24,055
Those flowers are...
181
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:27,892
Never mind.
182
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:38,402
And, so, Stripperella completely
and utterly failed
183
00:10:38,504 --> 00:10:40,504
to stop the evil grooms-napper
184
00:10:40,606 --> 00:10:42,540
we've come to know
as "the bridesmaid".
185
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,776
Due to Stripperella's
humiliating ineptitude,
186
00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:48,179
couples everywhere are canceling
their weddings in fear.
187
00:10:48,281 --> 00:10:49,981
Next up, my colonoscopy video,
188
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:52,717
an intriguing trip
deep inside my ass.
189
00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:55,219
Hey, I wanted to see that!
190
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:56,688
What's the matter, Lassie?
191
00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:58,956
You look sadder
than a pair of old bagpipes.
192
00:10:59,058 --> 00:11:01,259
I just hate colonoscopy videos.
193
00:11:04,764 --> 00:11:06,664
Persephone,
how come I never noticed
194
00:11:06,766 --> 00:11:08,666
you have a Scottish
accent before?
195
00:11:08,768 --> 00:11:10,468
I don't.
196
00:11:13,473 --> 00:11:15,306
Agent 69, here, what's up?
197
00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:17,708
We've figured out the identity
of the bridesmaid.
198
00:11:17,810 --> 00:11:19,677
Her name is Molly Lumpkin.
199
00:11:19,779 --> 00:11:22,113
She was a bridesmaid
at over 35 weddings
200
00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:23,481
last year, alone.
201
00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:25,116
That poor girl!
202
00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:26,984
That's enough to make
anyone snap!
203
00:11:27,086 --> 00:11:29,921
We need to find out where
she's keeping those grooms.
204
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:33,057
She may be planning on
killing them... or worse.
205
00:11:33,159 --> 00:11:34,859
What's worse than killing them?
206
00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:36,994
She may actually marry them.
207
00:11:37,096 --> 00:11:38,395
Uh, chief?
208
00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:40,331
I don't think that's worse
than killing.
209
00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:42,233
Clearly,
you've never been married.
210
00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:44,268
I think I know how to find her.
211
00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:46,270
Chief, it's time for us
to have a wedding.
212
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:49,006
I'm sorry, Erotica,
but you're not my type.
213
00:11:49,108 --> 00:11:50,708
No, no!
214
00:11:50,810 --> 00:11:53,511
We'll stage a fake wedding
to lure the bridesmaid.
215
00:11:53,613 --> 00:11:54,745
Great idea.
216
00:11:54,847 --> 00:11:55,947
Then it's official.
217
00:12:00,753 --> 00:12:03,688
Oh god, yeah...
218
00:12:03,790 --> 00:12:05,301
The bridesmaid only needs
one more letter
219
00:12:05,325 --> 00:12:07,625
and her collection
of grooms will be complete!
220
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:10,227
This wedding is our last chance
to stop her!
221
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:12,330
We've made some modifications
to your wedding dress
222
00:12:12,365 --> 00:12:13,464
that should help you.
223
00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,526
We've installed a pair
of high-powered flashlights
224
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:17,201
inside your bustier.
225
00:12:17,303 --> 00:12:21,004
Your wedding veil
is also a gas mask.
226
00:12:22,975 --> 00:12:25,042
And we're about to
give you an S.T.D.
227
00:12:25,144 --> 00:12:25,944
A what?
228
00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:27,278
S.T.D.
229
00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:30,581
Secret tracking device.
230
00:12:30,683 --> 00:12:31,582
Ah...
231
00:12:31,684 --> 00:12:32,950
Yes, we call it "the clap".
232
00:12:33,052 --> 00:12:34,351
Because in order to activate it,
233
00:12:34,453 --> 00:12:35,819
you have to clap.
234
00:12:37,990 --> 00:12:39,270
I've dreamt
about getting married
235
00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:41,025
since I was a little girl!
236
00:12:41,127 --> 00:12:42,760
Except, in my dream,
it wasn't fake
237
00:12:42,862 --> 00:12:44,628
and I wasn't marrying
special agent 14.
238
00:12:44,730 --> 00:12:48,933
Don't worry, Stripperella,
I won't let you down!
239
00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:52,569
Especially,
on our fake honeymoon.
240
00:12:52,671 --> 00:12:54,471
I don't see why
he gets to marry her.
241
00:12:54,574 --> 00:12:55,984
I should have been the one
to marry her.
242
00:12:56,008 --> 00:12:56,874
What?!
243
00:12:56,976 --> 00:12:58,442
I totally should be
marrying her.
244
00:12:58,544 --> 00:13:00,244
Oh, like she'd
really marry you, geek.
245
00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:01,745
Spaz!
Virgin!
246
00:13:03,149 --> 00:13:05,983
I told you that
in strict confidence.
247
00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:11,989
Erotica?
248
00:13:12,091 --> 00:13:13,457
We need to talk.
249
00:13:13,559 --> 00:13:15,192
James, what's wrong?
250
00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:16,860
I know about Mr. "D".
251
00:13:16,962 --> 00:13:18,929
I found this wedding
announcement in the paper.
252
00:13:19,031 --> 00:13:21,065
I know this looks bad,
but trust me,
253
00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:23,434
I'm not really getting married.
254
00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:29,640
Huh?
255
00:13:29,742 --> 00:13:30,942
Surprise!
256
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,410
What is going on here?
257
00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:34,712
Well, I overheard you
on the phone
258
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:38,683
talking about your wedding,
so I told everyone!
259
00:13:38,785 --> 00:13:40,695
You didn't think we were
going let you get married
260
00:13:40,719 --> 00:13:42,853
without throwing you
a bachelorette party,
261
00:13:42,955 --> 00:13:44,255
did you?
262
00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:48,859
You two are such
a perfect couple.
263
00:13:48,961 --> 00:13:50,227
That's what I thought, too.
264
00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:52,296
But that's before I found out
that tomorrow
265
00:13:52,398 --> 00:13:54,432
Erotica's marrying another man!
266
00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:55,999
James, there's
a good explanation
267
00:13:56,102 --> 00:13:57,201
for all of this.
268
00:13:57,303 --> 00:13:59,103
I'm just not allowed
to tell you what it is.
269
00:13:59,205 --> 00:14:00,404
Goodbye, Erotica.
270
00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:02,673
But, James, wait!
271
00:14:02,775 --> 00:14:07,979
Hey, this party's turning out
better than I thought!
272
00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:09,446
I know what will cheer you up!
273
00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:13,117
I made you a cake in the shape
of Anthony Hopkins' butt!
274
00:14:13,219 --> 00:14:15,952
The hair is chocolate sprinkles.
275
00:14:21,327 --> 00:14:23,627
So, then, I was thinking,
a simple sheer satin gown
276
00:14:23,729 --> 00:14:26,230
with a dramatic "V"
down the back.
277
00:14:26,332 --> 00:14:27,664
And instead of a veil, I...
278
00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:31,302
Look, if you're gonna kill us,
please do it now!
279
00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:32,703
This is hell!
280
00:14:32,805 --> 00:14:33,971
What do you want?!
281
00:14:34,073 --> 00:14:36,441
What do I want?!
282
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:40,444
I just wanna get married
before I'm 40!
283
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,012
Is that too much to ask?!
284
00:14:42,114 --> 00:14:48,018
I've been in 226 weddings
and not one of them was mine.
285
00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:49,686
But that's about to change.
286
00:14:49,788 --> 00:14:51,922
You've all shown that you're
not afraid of commitment.
287
00:14:52,024 --> 00:14:56,994
You're all still single
and you all own tuxes!
288
00:14:57,096 --> 00:14:58,296
Mine's a rental.
289
00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,931
And, actually, I'm not single.
290
00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:01,766
You abducted me
from my reception.
291
00:15:01,868 --> 00:15:02,933
Shut up!
292
00:15:03,035 --> 00:15:04,475
Now, one of you
is going to marry me,
293
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:07,271
and the rest of you are going
to be killed with this!
294
00:15:07,373 --> 00:15:09,507
An engagement ring/deadly laser.
295
00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:11,775
Allow me to demonstrate.
296
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:17,547
Something borrowed,
something blue.
297
00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:20,618
I don't want to marry you!
298
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:22,353
Prepare to die!
299
00:15:22,455 --> 00:15:24,388
Oh, right,
kill the black guy first.
300
00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:25,723
That's original.
301
00:15:25,825 --> 00:15:28,392
No, no, really,
that's not the reason.
302
00:15:28,495 --> 00:15:29,861
It was pure chance.
303
00:15:29,963 --> 00:15:31,295
Yeah, whatever.
304
00:15:31,397 --> 00:15:33,964
Why don't you just go and get
yourself a nice white hood
305
00:15:34,066 --> 00:15:35,633
to go with that
wedding dress, racist?
306
00:15:35,735 --> 00:15:37,635
No, no, I'm not a racist, okay?
307
00:15:37,736 --> 00:15:39,603
Hey, guess what?
I'll prove it.
308
00:15:39,705 --> 00:15:40,805
I'll kill someone else!
309
00:15:40,907 --> 00:15:42,740
You!
Prepare to die.
310
00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:45,308
You know, I just remembered,
I am 1/4 American Indian.
311
00:15:45,411 --> 00:15:48,145
Don't you think we have suffered
enough at your hands, whitey?
312
00:15:48,247 --> 00:15:49,380
Jewish!
313
00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:50,482
Gay.
314
00:15:50,516 --> 00:15:52,149
Eskimo.
315
00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:59,623
Come on, bridesmaid,
show your face.
316
00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:03,060
I now pronounce you
man and wife.
317
00:16:03,162 --> 00:16:04,528
You may kiss the bride.
318
00:16:05,931 --> 00:16:07,864
Come on, Erotica.
319
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:10,835
The people are expecting a show!
320
00:16:10,937 --> 00:16:14,972
Let's make it look good, huh?
321
00:16:18,444 --> 00:16:22,780
Erotica, Erotica!
322
00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:29,553
Oh, right, thanks.
323
00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:31,588
James!
What are you doing here?!
324
00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:34,091
I realized I didn't want
to lose you!
325
00:16:34,193 --> 00:16:36,293
I can't let you marry that man!
326
00:16:36,395 --> 00:16:39,263
Oh, James!
That's so romantic!
327
00:16:39,365 --> 00:16:41,331
This is like a fairytale!
328
00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:44,268
With a happy ending for me!
329
00:16:46,573 --> 00:16:50,173
Can't breathe...
Losing consciousness.
330
00:16:50,275 --> 00:16:53,344
Talking to... myself.
331
00:16:55,315 --> 00:16:56,346
She's getting away!
332
00:16:56,448 --> 00:16:57,681
I still have "the clap"!
333
00:16:57,783 --> 00:16:58,783
You have the clap?
334
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,250
No!
It's an S.T.D.!
335
00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:02,186
I have the clap, too!
336
00:17:02,288 --> 00:17:04,522
I've been too afraid
to admit it before now,
337
00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:06,423
but thanks to Erotica's courage,
338
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:07,691
I can!
339
00:17:07,793 --> 00:17:09,994
By the way, honey,
you probably have it, too!
340
00:17:15,334 --> 00:17:18,034
Come on, S.T.D.!
Do your thing!
341
00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:31,147
Get ready, bridesmaid,
'cause here comes the bride!
342
00:17:35,121 --> 00:17:36,921
I've got the priest,
I've got the grooms.
343
00:17:37,023 --> 00:17:38,790
Who's ready to get married?
344
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:40,358
Me!
Me! Me!
345
00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:41,358
I don't wanna die, me!
346
00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:42,860
Okay, groom number one,
347
00:17:42,962 --> 00:17:45,629
what would you say
is my best quality?
348
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:46,830
Uh, your eyes?
349
00:17:46,932 --> 00:17:48,599
Eyes?
My eyes?!
350
00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:51,569
No, it's my friggin' big heart,
you jackass!
351
00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:54,304
I'm a very sweet person,
everybody says so!
352
00:17:56,309 --> 00:17:57,942
Groom number two...
353
00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:05,750
Gotcha!
354
00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:07,384
All right, bridesmaid,
355
00:18:07,487 --> 00:18:09,820
where are
the rest of the grooms?
356
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:13,324
I am not the bridesmaid!
357
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:14,792
I am the evil French maid!
358
00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:17,128
The bridesmaid is one room over.
359
00:18:17,230 --> 00:18:19,363
We split the rent,
it keeps things affordable.
360
00:18:19,465 --> 00:18:21,098
Oh, sorry.
361
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,934
Now, time for the mop!
362
00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:25,036
Where am I?
363
00:18:25,071 --> 00:18:26,311
I'm asking the questions here!
364
00:18:26,405 --> 00:18:27,771
And you'd better think carefully
365
00:18:27,874 --> 00:18:29,840
because your life
may depend on your answer!
366
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:31,462
If you could change
one thing about me,
367
00:18:31,510 --> 00:18:32,977
what would it be and why?
368
00:18:33,079 --> 00:18:35,246
Hi-ya!
369
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,615
How incredibly convenient!
We're free!
370
00:18:38,918 --> 00:18:40,718
Sorry, Stripperella,
but I'm getting married!
371
00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:42,553
And there's nothing
you can do to stop me!
372
00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:54,532
All right, preacher,
start marrying!
373
00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:57,169
Say "I do"!
But...
374
00:18:57,202 --> 00:18:58,302
Do you wanna live?!
375
00:18:58,404 --> 00:19:00,104
I do!
376
00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:03,641
This is it, finally!
377
00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:04,908
I object!
378
00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:17,888
Goodbye, Stripperella!
379
00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:28,366
She's all yours, boys.
380
00:19:28,468 --> 00:19:29,934
Uh, Stripperella?
381
00:19:30,036 --> 00:19:31,468
Your headlights are on.
382
00:19:31,571 --> 00:19:32,703
Thanks.
383
00:19:32,805 --> 00:19:34,271
Stripperella, you saved me!
384
00:19:34,373 --> 00:19:35,673
It was nothing, James...
385
00:19:35,775 --> 00:19:38,475
Uh, if that's your name
because I don't know if it is.
386
00:19:38,578 --> 00:19:39,578
It is.
387
00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:40,845
You were amazing!
388
00:19:40,947 --> 00:19:42,012
Well, thanks.
389
00:19:42,114 --> 00:19:43,514
You know what?
I'll be right back.
390
00:19:44,784 --> 00:19:45,916
James, are you okay?
391
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:47,185
I'm fine, Erotica.
392
00:19:47,286 --> 00:19:48,586
Look, I'm sorry
about everything.
393
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,788
I promise,
no more secret weddings.
394
00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:53,557
I'm sorry, Erotica,
but I met someone else.
395
00:19:53,659 --> 00:19:54,525
What?!
396
00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:55,627
I don't mean to hurt you.
397
00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:57,595
She just sort of came
crashing into my life.
398
00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,029
I didn't plan it,
399
00:19:59,131 --> 00:20:00,898
but I wouldn't be honest
with myself or you,
400
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,160
if I didn't tell you that
I'll never love another woman
401
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,835
as much as I love...
402
00:20:04,937 --> 00:20:06,103
Stripperella.
403
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:09,973
But you don't understand,
see, stripperella is...
404
00:20:10,075 --> 00:20:11,142
Is what?
405
00:20:11,244 --> 00:20:14,011
Is... is great,
I understand.
406
00:20:14,113 --> 00:20:16,080
I guess I can never be
the woman she is.
407
00:20:16,182 --> 00:20:17,514
If it means anything,
408
00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:19,917
if something were to
ever happen to stripperella,
409
00:20:20,019 --> 00:20:21,886
if she were killed
or horribly disfigured
410
00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:24,021
or didn't age well,
411
00:20:24,124 --> 00:20:25,723
you'll always be
my second choice.
412
00:20:25,825 --> 00:20:27,391
Thanks?
413
00:20:27,493 --> 00:20:30,194
Do you understand these rights
that we have read to you?
414
00:20:30,296 --> 00:20:31,529
I do.
415
00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:33,864
You know, I understand
why you did what you did.
416
00:20:33,966 --> 00:20:35,333
We all wanna find true love.
417
00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:36,712
Actually,
I wanted to get married
418
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,580
so I could take out
a huge life insurance policy
419
00:20:38,604 --> 00:20:40,171
on my husband, have him killed,
420
00:20:40,273 --> 00:20:43,373
and live happily ever after
in Barbados.
421
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:50,281
I can't believe Erotica
got divorced so quickly!
422
00:20:50,383 --> 00:20:52,316
I hope me sleeping
with her husband
423
00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:53,618
had nothing to do with it.
424
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:55,219
You slept with Mr. "D"?
425
00:20:55,321 --> 00:20:56,486
Shame on you!
426
00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:59,023
Well, at least
she's getting some good use
427
00:20:59,125 --> 00:21:00,624
out of her wedding dress!
29552
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