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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:19,417 So when I'm not volunteering at the children's hospital, 2 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:20,985 I'm traveling around the world, 3 00:00:21,087 --> 00:00:23,321 crusading for animal rights and world peace. 4 00:00:23,424 --> 00:00:26,558 He's so perfect and handsome. 5 00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:28,740 Don't say anything stupid, don't say anything stupid. 6 00:00:28,795 --> 00:00:30,362 I like lettuce. 7 00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:34,466 Lettuce is... nice. 8 00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:36,835 Oh! 9 00:00:38,405 --> 00:00:41,539 Ooh, I'm sorry, I'm just a little nervous. 10 00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:44,109 I don't get to date much, stripper's hours. 11 00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:46,512 It's great you're so honest about what you do. 12 00:00:46,614 --> 00:00:48,880 I've dated girls in the past who kept a lot of secrets. 13 00:00:48,982 --> 00:00:51,683 It was almost like they were living a double life. 14 00:00:51,785 --> 00:00:54,186 Oh, really? 15 00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:57,889 This is a robbery! 16 00:00:57,991 --> 00:01:00,392 You, get me all the money from the register. 17 00:01:00,494 --> 00:01:03,061 And you, get me the chicken cordon bleu 18 00:01:03,163 --> 00:01:05,530 and the Caesar salad, no croutons. 19 00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:07,465 And if I could get the dressing on the side, 20 00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:09,734 that would be great. 21 00:01:10,337 --> 00:01:11,503 Oh, no! 22 00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:13,137 The restaurant's being robbed. 23 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,507 Erotica? 24 00:01:16,877 --> 00:01:18,776 How would you like a side of ass-kicking 25 00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:20,311 to go with your robbery? 26 00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:24,115 Stripperella? Oh, no, it's a... tampon? 27 00:01:24,217 --> 00:01:25,584 A tampon... 28 00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:27,085 Dagger! 29 00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:34,426 Oh, shish! 30 00:01:35,495 --> 00:01:37,028 Whoa! 31 00:01:41,001 --> 00:01:42,600 It burns! 32 00:01:42,702 --> 00:01:44,069 Make it stop! 33 00:01:44,171 --> 00:01:46,471 Okay, ha! 34 00:01:50,343 --> 00:01:52,143 That oughta hold you 'til the police arrive. 35 00:01:52,245 --> 00:01:54,546 Now, I've got a date to get back to. 36 00:01:54,648 --> 00:01:56,414 I mean, no, I don't. 37 00:02:04,859 --> 00:02:07,058 Erotica, you missed it, the place was robbed. 38 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:09,761 Stripperella was here, where did you go? 39 00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:13,398 Oh, uh, I had to put money in the meter. 40 00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:14,933 But we valet parked. 41 00:02:15,035 --> 00:02:17,235 Oh, right, now, where were we? 42 00:02:17,337 --> 00:02:20,505 I was saying how great it is that you are always so honest. 43 00:02:20,607 --> 00:02:23,875 Oh, yeah, that's me, no secrets here. 44 00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,643 Help! 45 00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:27,645 It's fire! Fire! 46 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,983 I have to go put more money in the meter! 47 00:03:18,465 --> 00:03:20,432 Hey, you're not my bride! 48 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,935 That's right! I'm never the bride! 49 00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:26,537 I'm always the bridesmaid! 50 00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:27,672 What do you want? 51 00:03:27,775 --> 00:03:29,541 I wanna get married! 52 00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:32,210 But if I can't, then, no one will. 53 00:03:32,312 --> 00:03:35,413 You may now kiss the bridesmaid! 54 00:03:37,685 --> 00:03:40,752 Aaahhhhh... 55 00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,663 Ahoy, mates! 56 00:03:52,765 --> 00:03:56,801 Feast your good eye on the glorious treasure chest of 57 00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:58,770 Giselle! 58 00:04:13,152 --> 00:04:14,152 Arrghh! 59 00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:19,557 Oohhhh! 60 00:04:21,328 --> 00:04:22,627 Arrrh! 61 00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:30,067 Oh, I'm glad she doesn't do 62 00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:32,838 her chainsaw juggling routine anymore! 63 00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:34,305 Oh, please be gay, please be gay, 64 00:04:34,407 --> 00:04:36,274 please be gay, please be gay! 65 00:04:36,376 --> 00:04:38,243 Erotica? 66 00:04:38,345 --> 00:04:40,044 James! 67 00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:45,016 What a surprise! 68 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,487 Leonard, this is the guy I've been dating. 69 00:04:49,589 --> 00:04:50,888 Nice to meet you. 70 00:04:50,991 --> 00:04:52,023 Now, if you'll excuse me, 71 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:54,626 I'm gonna go take a cold shower. 72 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,195 So, what are you doing here? 73 00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,696 I just finished my poetry workshop, 74 00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:00,064 and I have a few minutes to kill 75 00:05:00,167 --> 00:05:01,311 before I go to the homeless shelter 76 00:05:01,335 --> 00:05:02,434 to hand out food. 77 00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:04,202 So, I thought I'd stop by and say hi. 78 00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,404 Maybe tonight we can get together at my place 79 00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:07,839 and watch some movies. 80 00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:10,808 As long as it's a romantic comedy. 81 00:05:15,081 --> 00:05:16,547 Oh, that must be my belly... uh... 82 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:19,351 That's my pager... Oh, I forgot, 83 00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:21,486 I'm supposed to drop off toys at the orphanage 84 00:05:21,588 --> 00:05:23,054 on the way to the homeless shelter! 85 00:05:23,157 --> 00:05:24,188 I'd better go. 86 00:05:24,290 --> 00:05:26,257 I'll see you tonight. 87 00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:30,629 Wow! 88 00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:32,831 He's cuter than a June bug in a cackle bush! 89 00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:34,499 He's so romantic. 90 00:05:34,601 --> 00:05:36,301 I never thought I'd meet anyone like him. 91 00:05:36,403 --> 00:05:38,537 I just wish I didn't have to lie to him all the time. 92 00:05:38,639 --> 00:05:40,038 Lie to him about what? 93 00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:45,009 Oh, uh, I told him that I used to be a man. 94 00:05:45,111 --> 00:05:48,079 Oh, you should tell him the truth! 95 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:49,314 He'll still like you, 96 00:05:49,416 --> 00:05:52,283 even if he finds out you've never been a man! 97 00:05:52,385 --> 00:05:53,985 Oh, I hope you're right. 98 00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:56,020 I really think he might be the one. 99 00:05:56,123 --> 00:05:57,789 I think I'll steal him from you. 100 00:05:57,891 --> 00:05:58,790 Huh? 101 00:05:58,892 --> 00:06:00,592 What? I'm a bitch, remember? 102 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,260 Oh, yeah. Right. 103 00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:11,703 Chief Stroganoff, agent 69, reporting for duty. 104 00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:14,773 Uh, chief, what are you doing? 105 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:17,309 I'm just taking some sexy boudoir photographs 106 00:06:17,411 --> 00:06:19,544 to surprise the wife with on Valentine's day. 107 00:06:19,646 --> 00:06:21,579 But Valentine's day was two months ago. 108 00:06:21,681 --> 00:06:25,183 Right... Thank god I'm not married. 109 00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:26,885 I think we're done for today, ling. 110 00:06:26,986 --> 00:06:28,520 See you tomorrow, same time. 111 00:06:28,622 --> 00:06:31,356 So, what's going on? 112 00:06:31,458 --> 00:06:32,957 It's not what's going on, 113 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,403 it's what's not going on that's going on. 114 00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:36,494 Grooms all across the city 115 00:06:36,596 --> 00:06:38,396 have been vanishing on their wedding day. 116 00:06:38,498 --> 00:06:39,631 Cold feet? 117 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:42,166 No, but my ass is freezing, damn metal chair. 118 00:06:42,268 --> 00:06:43,735 I mean, the grooms. 119 00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:45,570 Maybe they just got pre-wedding jitters. 120 00:06:45,672 --> 00:06:47,505 These men didn't just disappear. 121 00:06:47,607 --> 00:06:49,007 They were abducted 122 00:06:49,108 --> 00:06:51,542 by someone calling herself "the bridesmaid". 123 00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:53,578 Ugh! That dress is hideous! 124 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,279 Yes. 125 00:06:55,381 --> 00:06:57,849 Polyester is so passรฉ. 126 00:06:57,951 --> 00:06:59,651 Now, here, take these wedding videos. 127 00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:01,586 There might be some clues in there 128 00:07:01,688 --> 00:07:03,266 to help us figure out where "the bridesmaid" 129 00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:04,656 is going to strike next. 130 00:07:09,296 --> 00:07:12,563 Oh, my baby boy is getting married! 131 00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:17,268 This is the happiest day of my entire life! 132 00:07:19,306 --> 00:07:22,574 Time to live happily never after! 133 00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:29,046 Now, this is the saddest day of my entire life! 134 00:07:36,656 --> 00:07:38,356 Huh? 135 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:41,025 To hold, and blah, blah... Oh, just kiss the bride! 136 00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:57,408 These weddings are so beautiful! 137 00:07:57,510 --> 00:07:58,310 Well, except for the part 138 00:07:58,412 --> 00:08:01,246 where the grooms all get abducted. 139 00:08:07,621 --> 00:08:10,455 Wait a minute, the grooms' last names. 140 00:08:10,557 --> 00:08:13,457 Baker, Richards, Ikinawa, Degbert. 141 00:08:13,559 --> 00:08:15,192 B-r-i-d... 142 00:08:15,294 --> 00:08:17,094 She's spelling "bridesmaid"! 143 00:08:17,196 --> 00:08:20,131 That means her next victim is an "e"! 144 00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:22,900 Wedding announcements, here we go. 145 00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:24,068 No... 146 00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:25,171 No... 147 00:08:25,271 --> 00:08:26,371 "Emerson". 148 00:08:26,472 --> 00:08:29,240 The Emerson wedding, today, at six! 149 00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:32,410 Oh, no, I only have 15 minutes! 150 00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,145 It's a good thing you're here, Ozzy. 151 00:08:34,247 --> 00:08:35,324 Otherwise, I would have no reason 152 00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,515 to explain everything out loud. 153 00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:42,454 Only 10 minutes to go! 154 00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:49,794 Darn! 155 00:08:57,470 --> 00:08:59,037 Double darn! 156 00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:12,250 Now, this is just getting ridiculous. 157 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:18,189 Do you promise to be faithful to your wife, 158 00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:20,925 to never again know another woman's touch? 159 00:09:21,027 --> 00:09:24,395 To never again experience the joy of sexual intimacy 160 00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:28,199 with anyone new or different or more adventurous, 161 00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:29,467 or younger, 162 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:32,470 until sweet death releases you from this vow? 163 00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:33,604 Uh... 164 00:09:33,706 --> 00:09:35,339 I... I... 165 00:09:35,441 --> 00:09:37,475 Don't! 166 00:09:39,512 --> 00:09:42,813 Why don't you smell my lovely flowers? 167 00:09:48,721 --> 00:09:50,721 Drop that groom, bridesmaid! 168 00:09:50,823 --> 00:09:52,156 I don't think so! 169 00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:53,624 I've got exploding rice, 170 00:09:53,726 --> 00:09:55,493 and I'm not afraid to throw it! 171 00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,462 Don't you know not to throw rice at weddings? 172 00:09:57,563 --> 00:09:59,363 Birds eat it and they die! 173 00:09:59,465 --> 00:10:01,231 You're supposed to use birdseed! 174 00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:04,469 I'm sorry, but they were all out of exploding birdseed. 175 00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:06,070 Ha! 176 00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,509 I now pronounce you foot in face! 177 00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,611 You may kick the bride! 178 00:10:18,518 --> 00:10:20,885 Do you like my bouquet? 179 00:10:20,987 --> 00:10:22,420 Stripperella, look out! 180 00:10:22,522 --> 00:10:24,055 Those flowers are... 181 00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:27,892 Never mind. 182 00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:38,402 And, so, Stripperella completely and utterly failed 183 00:10:38,504 --> 00:10:40,504 to stop the evil grooms-napper 184 00:10:40,606 --> 00:10:42,540 we've come to know as "the bridesmaid". 185 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,776 Due to Stripperella's humiliating ineptitude, 186 00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:48,179 couples everywhere are canceling their weddings in fear. 187 00:10:48,281 --> 00:10:49,981 Next up, my colonoscopy video, 188 00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:52,717 an intriguing trip deep inside my ass. 189 00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:55,219 Hey, I wanted to see that! 190 00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:56,688 What's the matter, Lassie? 191 00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:58,956 You look sadder than a pair of old bagpipes. 192 00:10:59,058 --> 00:11:01,259 I just hate colonoscopy videos. 193 00:11:04,764 --> 00:11:06,664 Persephone, how come I never noticed 194 00:11:06,766 --> 00:11:08,666 you have a Scottish accent before? 195 00:11:08,768 --> 00:11:10,468 I don't. 196 00:11:13,473 --> 00:11:15,306 Agent 69, here, what's up? 197 00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:17,708 We've figured out the identity of the bridesmaid. 198 00:11:17,810 --> 00:11:19,677 Her name is Molly Lumpkin. 199 00:11:19,779 --> 00:11:22,113 She was a bridesmaid at over 35 weddings 200 00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:23,481 last year, alone. 201 00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:25,116 That poor girl! 202 00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:26,984 That's enough to make anyone snap! 203 00:11:27,086 --> 00:11:29,921 We need to find out where she's keeping those grooms. 204 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:33,057 She may be planning on killing them... or worse. 205 00:11:33,159 --> 00:11:34,859 What's worse than killing them? 206 00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:36,994 She may actually marry them. 207 00:11:37,096 --> 00:11:38,395 Uh, chief? 208 00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:40,331 I don't think that's worse than killing. 209 00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:42,233 Clearly, you've never been married. 210 00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:44,268 I think I know how to find her. 211 00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:46,270 Chief, it's time for us to have a wedding. 212 00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:49,006 I'm sorry, Erotica, but you're not my type. 213 00:11:49,108 --> 00:11:50,708 No, no! 214 00:11:50,810 --> 00:11:53,511 We'll stage a fake wedding to lure the bridesmaid. 215 00:11:53,613 --> 00:11:54,745 Great idea. 216 00:11:54,847 --> 00:11:55,947 Then it's official. 217 00:12:00,753 --> 00:12:03,688 Oh god, yeah... 218 00:12:03,790 --> 00:12:05,301 The bridesmaid only needs one more letter 219 00:12:05,325 --> 00:12:07,625 and her collection of grooms will be complete! 220 00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:10,227 This wedding is our last chance to stop her! 221 00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:12,330 We've made some modifications to your wedding dress 222 00:12:12,365 --> 00:12:13,464 that should help you. 223 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,526 We've installed a pair of high-powered flashlights 224 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:17,201 inside your bustier. 225 00:12:17,303 --> 00:12:21,004 Your wedding veil is also a gas mask. 226 00:12:22,975 --> 00:12:25,042 And we're about to give you an S.T.D. 227 00:12:25,144 --> 00:12:25,944 A what? 228 00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:27,278 S.T.D. 229 00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:30,581 Secret tracking device. 230 00:12:30,683 --> 00:12:31,582 Ah... 231 00:12:31,684 --> 00:12:32,950 Yes, we call it "the clap". 232 00:12:33,052 --> 00:12:34,351 Because in order to activate it, 233 00:12:34,453 --> 00:12:35,819 you have to clap. 234 00:12:37,990 --> 00:12:39,270 I've dreamt about getting married 235 00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:41,025 since I was a little girl! 236 00:12:41,127 --> 00:12:42,760 Except, in my dream, it wasn't fake 237 00:12:42,862 --> 00:12:44,628 and I wasn't marrying special agent 14. 238 00:12:44,730 --> 00:12:48,933 Don't worry, Stripperella, I won't let you down! 239 00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:52,569 Especially, on our fake honeymoon. 240 00:12:52,671 --> 00:12:54,471 I don't see why he gets to marry her. 241 00:12:54,574 --> 00:12:55,984 I should have been the one to marry her. 242 00:12:56,008 --> 00:12:56,874 What?! 243 00:12:56,976 --> 00:12:58,442 I totally should be marrying her. 244 00:12:58,544 --> 00:13:00,244 Oh, like she'd really marry you, geek. 245 00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:01,745 Spaz! Virgin! 246 00:13:03,149 --> 00:13:05,983 I told you that in strict confidence. 247 00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:11,989 Erotica? 248 00:13:12,091 --> 00:13:13,457 We need to talk. 249 00:13:13,559 --> 00:13:15,192 James, what's wrong? 250 00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:16,860 I know about Mr. "D". 251 00:13:16,962 --> 00:13:18,929 I found this wedding announcement in the paper. 252 00:13:19,031 --> 00:13:21,065 I know this looks bad, but trust me, 253 00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:23,434 I'm not really getting married. 254 00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:29,640 Huh? 255 00:13:29,742 --> 00:13:30,942 Surprise! 256 00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,410 What is going on here? 257 00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:34,712 Well, I overheard you on the phone 258 00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:38,683 talking about your wedding, so I told everyone! 259 00:13:38,785 --> 00:13:40,695 You didn't think we were going let you get married 260 00:13:40,719 --> 00:13:42,853 without throwing you a bachelorette party, 261 00:13:42,955 --> 00:13:44,255 did you? 262 00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:48,859 You two are such a perfect couple. 263 00:13:48,961 --> 00:13:50,227 That's what I thought, too. 264 00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:52,296 But that's before I found out that tomorrow 265 00:13:52,398 --> 00:13:54,432 Erotica's marrying another man! 266 00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:55,999 James, there's a good explanation 267 00:13:56,102 --> 00:13:57,201 for all of this. 268 00:13:57,303 --> 00:13:59,103 I'm just not allowed to tell you what it is. 269 00:13:59,205 --> 00:14:00,404 Goodbye, Erotica. 270 00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:02,673 But, James, wait! 271 00:14:02,775 --> 00:14:07,979 Hey, this party's turning out better than I thought! 272 00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:09,446 I know what will cheer you up! 273 00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:13,117 I made you a cake in the shape of Anthony Hopkins' butt! 274 00:14:13,219 --> 00:14:15,952 The hair is chocolate sprinkles. 275 00:14:21,327 --> 00:14:23,627 So, then, I was thinking, a simple sheer satin gown 276 00:14:23,729 --> 00:14:26,230 with a dramatic "V" down the back. 277 00:14:26,332 --> 00:14:27,664 And instead of a veil, I... 278 00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:31,302 Look, if you're gonna kill us, please do it now! 279 00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:32,703 This is hell! 280 00:14:32,805 --> 00:14:33,971 What do you want?! 281 00:14:34,073 --> 00:14:36,441 What do I want?! 282 00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:40,444 I just wanna get married before I'm 40! 283 00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,012 Is that too much to ask?! 284 00:14:42,114 --> 00:14:48,018 I've been in 226 weddings and not one of them was mine. 285 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:49,686 But that's about to change. 286 00:14:49,788 --> 00:14:51,922 You've all shown that you're not afraid of commitment. 287 00:14:52,024 --> 00:14:56,994 You're all still single and you all own tuxes! 288 00:14:57,096 --> 00:14:58,296 Mine's a rental. 289 00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,931 And, actually, I'm not single. 290 00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:01,766 You abducted me from my reception. 291 00:15:01,868 --> 00:15:02,933 Shut up! 292 00:15:03,035 --> 00:15:04,475 Now, one of you is going to marry me, 293 00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:07,271 and the rest of you are going to be killed with this! 294 00:15:07,373 --> 00:15:09,507 An engagement ring/deadly laser. 295 00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:11,775 Allow me to demonstrate. 296 00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:17,547 Something borrowed, something blue. 297 00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:20,618 I don't want to marry you! 298 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:22,353 Prepare to die! 299 00:15:22,455 --> 00:15:24,388 Oh, right, kill the black guy first. 300 00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:25,723 That's original. 301 00:15:25,825 --> 00:15:28,392 No, no, really, that's not the reason. 302 00:15:28,495 --> 00:15:29,861 It was pure chance. 303 00:15:29,963 --> 00:15:31,295 Yeah, whatever. 304 00:15:31,397 --> 00:15:33,964 Why don't you just go and get yourself a nice white hood 305 00:15:34,066 --> 00:15:35,633 to go with that wedding dress, racist? 306 00:15:35,735 --> 00:15:37,635 No, no, I'm not a racist, okay? 307 00:15:37,736 --> 00:15:39,603 Hey, guess what? I'll prove it. 308 00:15:39,705 --> 00:15:40,805 I'll kill someone else! 309 00:15:40,907 --> 00:15:42,740 You! Prepare to die. 310 00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:45,308 You know, I just remembered, I am 1/4 American Indian. 311 00:15:45,411 --> 00:15:48,145 Don't you think we have suffered enough at your hands, whitey? 312 00:15:48,247 --> 00:15:49,380 Jewish! 313 00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:50,482 Gay. 314 00:15:50,516 --> 00:15:52,149 Eskimo. 315 00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:59,623 Come on, bridesmaid, show your face. 316 00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:03,060 I now pronounce you man and wife. 317 00:16:03,162 --> 00:16:04,528 You may kiss the bride. 318 00:16:05,931 --> 00:16:07,864 Come on, Erotica. 319 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:10,835 The people are expecting a show! 320 00:16:10,937 --> 00:16:14,972 Let's make it look good, huh? 321 00:16:18,444 --> 00:16:22,780 Erotica, Erotica! 322 00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:29,553 Oh, right, thanks. 323 00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:31,588 James! What are you doing here?! 324 00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:34,091 I realized I didn't want to lose you! 325 00:16:34,193 --> 00:16:36,293 I can't let you marry that man! 326 00:16:36,395 --> 00:16:39,263 Oh, James! That's so romantic! 327 00:16:39,365 --> 00:16:41,331 This is like a fairytale! 328 00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:44,268 With a happy ending for me! 329 00:16:46,573 --> 00:16:50,173 Can't breathe... Losing consciousness. 330 00:16:50,275 --> 00:16:53,344 Talking to... myself. 331 00:16:55,315 --> 00:16:56,346 She's getting away! 332 00:16:56,448 --> 00:16:57,681 I still have "the clap"! 333 00:16:57,783 --> 00:16:58,783 You have the clap? 334 00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,250 No! It's an S.T.D.! 335 00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:02,186 I have the clap, too! 336 00:17:02,288 --> 00:17:04,522 I've been too afraid to admit it before now, 337 00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:06,423 but thanks to Erotica's courage, 338 00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:07,691 I can! 339 00:17:07,793 --> 00:17:09,994 By the way, honey, you probably have it, too! 340 00:17:15,334 --> 00:17:18,034 Come on, S.T.D.! Do your thing! 341 00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:31,147 Get ready, bridesmaid, 'cause here comes the bride! 342 00:17:35,121 --> 00:17:36,921 I've got the priest, I've got the grooms. 343 00:17:37,023 --> 00:17:38,790 Who's ready to get married? 344 00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:40,358 Me! Me! Me! 345 00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:41,358 I don't wanna die, me! 346 00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:42,860 Okay, groom number one, 347 00:17:42,962 --> 00:17:45,629 what would you say is my best quality? 348 00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:46,830 Uh, your eyes? 349 00:17:46,932 --> 00:17:48,599 Eyes? My eyes?! 350 00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:51,569 No, it's my friggin' big heart, you jackass! 351 00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:54,304 I'm a very sweet person, everybody says so! 352 00:17:56,309 --> 00:17:57,942 Groom number two... 353 00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:05,750 Gotcha! 354 00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:07,384 All right, bridesmaid, 355 00:18:07,487 --> 00:18:09,820 where are the rest of the grooms? 356 00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:13,324 I am not the bridesmaid! 357 00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:14,792 I am the evil French maid! 358 00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:17,128 The bridesmaid is one room over. 359 00:18:17,230 --> 00:18:19,363 We split the rent, it keeps things affordable. 360 00:18:19,465 --> 00:18:21,098 Oh, sorry. 361 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,934 Now, time for the mop! 362 00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:25,036 Where am I? 363 00:18:25,071 --> 00:18:26,311 I'm asking the questions here! 364 00:18:26,405 --> 00:18:27,771 And you'd better think carefully 365 00:18:27,874 --> 00:18:29,840 because your life may depend on your answer! 366 00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:31,462 If you could change one thing about me, 367 00:18:31,510 --> 00:18:32,977 what would it be and why? 368 00:18:33,079 --> 00:18:35,246 Hi-ya! 369 00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,615 How incredibly convenient! We're free! 370 00:18:38,918 --> 00:18:40,718 Sorry, Stripperella, but I'm getting married! 371 00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:42,553 And there's nothing you can do to stop me! 372 00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:54,532 All right, preacher, start marrying! 373 00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:57,169 Say "I do"! But... 374 00:18:57,202 --> 00:18:58,302 Do you wanna live?! 375 00:18:58,404 --> 00:19:00,104 I do! 376 00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:03,641 This is it, finally! 377 00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:04,908 I object! 378 00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:17,888 Goodbye, Stripperella! 379 00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:28,366 She's all yours, boys. 380 00:19:28,468 --> 00:19:29,934 Uh, Stripperella? 381 00:19:30,036 --> 00:19:31,468 Your headlights are on. 382 00:19:31,571 --> 00:19:32,703 Thanks. 383 00:19:32,805 --> 00:19:34,271 Stripperella, you saved me! 384 00:19:34,373 --> 00:19:35,673 It was nothing, James... 385 00:19:35,775 --> 00:19:38,475 Uh, if that's your name because I don't know if it is. 386 00:19:38,578 --> 00:19:39,578 It is. 387 00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:40,845 You were amazing! 388 00:19:40,947 --> 00:19:42,012 Well, thanks. 389 00:19:42,114 --> 00:19:43,514 You know what? I'll be right back. 390 00:19:44,784 --> 00:19:45,916 James, are you okay? 391 00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:47,185 I'm fine, Erotica. 392 00:19:47,286 --> 00:19:48,586 Look, I'm sorry about everything. 393 00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,788 I promise, no more secret weddings. 394 00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:53,557 I'm sorry, Erotica, but I met someone else. 395 00:19:53,659 --> 00:19:54,525 What?! 396 00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:55,627 I don't mean to hurt you. 397 00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:57,595 She just sort of came crashing into my life. 398 00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,029 I didn't plan it, 399 00:19:59,131 --> 00:20:00,898 but I wouldn't be honest with myself or you, 400 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,160 if I didn't tell you that I'll never love another woman 401 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,835 as much as I love... 402 00:20:04,937 --> 00:20:06,103 Stripperella. 403 00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:09,973 But you don't understand, see, stripperella is... 404 00:20:10,075 --> 00:20:11,142 Is what? 405 00:20:11,244 --> 00:20:14,011 Is... is great, I understand. 406 00:20:14,113 --> 00:20:16,080 I guess I can never be the woman she is. 407 00:20:16,182 --> 00:20:17,514 If it means anything, 408 00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:19,917 if something were to ever happen to stripperella, 409 00:20:20,019 --> 00:20:21,886 if she were killed or horribly disfigured 410 00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:24,021 or didn't age well, 411 00:20:24,124 --> 00:20:25,723 you'll always be my second choice. 412 00:20:25,825 --> 00:20:27,391 Thanks? 413 00:20:27,493 --> 00:20:30,194 Do you understand these rights that we have read to you? 414 00:20:30,296 --> 00:20:31,529 I do. 415 00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:33,864 You know, I understand why you did what you did. 416 00:20:33,966 --> 00:20:35,333 We all wanna find true love. 417 00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:36,712 Actually, I wanted to get married 418 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,580 so I could take out a huge life insurance policy 419 00:20:38,604 --> 00:20:40,171 on my husband, have him killed, 420 00:20:40,273 --> 00:20:43,373 and live happily ever after in Barbados. 421 00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:50,281 I can't believe Erotica got divorced so quickly! 422 00:20:50,383 --> 00:20:52,316 I hope me sleeping with her husband 423 00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:53,618 had nothing to do with it. 424 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:55,219 You slept with Mr. "D"? 425 00:20:55,321 --> 00:20:56,486 Shame on you! 426 00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:59,023 Well, at least she's getting some good use 427 00:20:59,125 --> 00:21:00,624 out of her wedding dress! 29552

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