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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,375 --> 00:00:02,959 "Now, a message from one of the main members" 2 00:00:03,042 --> 00:00:05,375 From the Corona Virus Squad (Of the White House) 3 00:00:05,626 --> 00:00:07,501 Dr. Anthony Fuchi 4 00:00:07,959 --> 00:00:10,751 Good evening, I am Dr. Anthony Fuchi 5 00:00:11,292 --> 00:00:14,459 First, I'd like to thank all the old Americans 6 00:00:14,584 --> 00:00:19,709 Who sent me emails Supportive, inspiring and at times obscene 7 00:00:20,292 --> 00:00:24,375 There was a lot of misinformation about the virus 8 00:00:24,501 --> 00:00:28,584 Yes, the President took his freedom to interpret our directives 9 00:00:28,709 --> 00:00:33,042 So, I would like to explain tonight What was the president trying to say 10 00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:35,459 And remember, let's be open minded 11 00:00:35,584 --> 00:00:39,083 We had a great meeting today with many companies 12 00:00:39,209 --> 00:00:42,501 And they will have vaccines very soon 13 00:00:42,667 --> 00:00:45,959 Soon kinda "is an interesting phrase" 14 00:00:46,292 --> 00:00:51,751 Compared to the history of the planet? Yes The vaccine will be available soon 15 00:00:52,209 --> 00:00:56,167 But if I tell your friend, "I will reach you soon." 16 00:00:56,751 --> 00:01:02,167 And I came after a year and a half Your friend may be somewhat angry 17 00:01:02,375 --> 00:01:06,083 We did an amazing job, and we will continue to do so 18 00:01:06,292 --> 00:01:09,959 The virus will one day disappear Like a miracle, it will disappear 19 00:01:10,042 --> 00:01:12,417 Wonderful miracle Who does not like miracles? 20 00:01:12,542 --> 00:01:15,125 But the miracle should not be your first plan 21 00:01:15,334 --> 00:01:17,999 Even pilot (Soleil) tried to land at the airport first 22 00:01:18,292 --> 00:01:22,459 Anyone who needs a test will undergo one They are available, tests will be available 23 00:01:22,584 --> 00:01:23,918 The tests are beautiful 24 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,167 Well, several notes 25 00:01:26,876 --> 00:01:30,584 I don’t know if the tests can be described It is beautiful 26 00:01:30,792 --> 00:01:34,792 Except if your idea of ​​beauty It tickles a cotton stick for your throat cap 27 00:01:35,083 --> 00:01:38,834 Also when everyone said He can take the test 28 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:41,792 "What he meant was ..." Almost nobody 29 00:01:41,918 --> 00:01:45,334 You call it a germ, you can call it flu Or a virus 30 00:01:45,459 --> 00:01:48,959 You can call it by many names I am not sure that anyone knows what it is 31 00:01:51,292 --> 00:01:52,626 Know what it is 32 00:01:52,751 --> 00:01:58,250 Then I see sterilizers, where you spend it in a minute one minute 33 00:01:58,542 --> 00:02:04,125 Can we do something like this? By injection 34 00:02:06,292 --> 00:02:08,250 ... we can direct the body 35 00:02:08,626 --> 00:02:13,626 Strong UV rays Or a very strong light 36 00:02:14,626 --> 00:02:16,959 I know I shouldn't touch my face ...But 37 00:02:17,792 --> 00:02:24,042 There is a rumor that the President will expel me Let's see what he said about this 38 00:02:24,167 --> 00:02:26,167 I came today and heard a rumor that I would kick him out ... but I will not kick him out 39 00:02:26,292 --> 00:02:30,000 I think he's a great guy - So, yes, I will be fired - 40 00:02:30,209 --> 00:02:34,792 But until then I will remain the facts to those who listen to me 41 00:02:34,999 --> 00:02:37,125 ... and when I hear things like "The virus can be treated." 42 00:02:37,250 --> 00:02:39,375 If everyone undergoes the challenge of taking Tide capsule, 43 00:02:39,501 --> 00:02:41,083 ... I will be there to tell 44 00:02:41,375 --> 00:02:42,792 Please do not do 45 00:02:44,042 --> 00:02:46,209 ... and to the real Dr. Fucci 46 00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:51,042 Thanks for your reassuring and clear words In these difficult times 47 00:02:51,250 --> 00:02:56,167 And thank you to the medical staff, paramedics and their families For being on the major fronts 48 00:02:56,834 --> 00:03:00,667 And now, somewhat direct broadcast From all over America 49 00:03:01,042 --> 00:03:02,501 It's Saturday Night 50 00:03:07,876 --> 00:03:10,876 It's Saturday Night Live at home. 51 00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:15,709 (With ... Bake Bennett ... 52 00:03:18,501 --> 00:03:20,626 Eddie Bryant. 53 00:03:23,334 --> 00:03:25,334 (Michael Chih) 54 00:03:27,375 --> 00:03:29,501 (Pete Davidson) 55 00:03:31,834 --> 00:03:33,792 (Mike has) 56 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:38,083 (Heidi Gardner) 57 00:03:41,792 --> 00:03:43,501 (Colin Ghost) 58 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,125 (Kate McCainen) 59 00:03:54,083 --> 00:03:55,792 Alex Moffitt 60 00:03:58,709 --> 00:04:00,667 (Kyle Money) 61 00:04:03,709 --> 00:04:05,584 (Chris Reed) 62 00:04:08,709 --> 00:04:10,709 (Cecily Strong) 63 00:04:13,417 --> 00:04:15,626 (Kennan Thompson) 64 00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:20,334 (Malisa Villasinore) 65 00:04:22,209 --> 00:04:26,792 In addition to ... (Chloe Feynman) 66 00:04:29,667 --> 00:04:31,459 (Ego odm) 67 00:04:34,209 --> 00:04:36,042 (Boyn Yang) 68 00:04:50,375 --> 00:04:53,209 It's WhatsApp with That At Home. 69 00:04:53,334 --> 00:04:56,709 We discuss contemporary issues with soul music. 70 00:04:56,834 --> 00:05:00,292 Tonight, we have the celebrity. (Charles Barclay) 71 00:05:00,417 --> 00:05:03,083 And the famous DJ Jay. 72 00:05:03,209 --> 00:05:05,584 And (Linzi Buckingham) 73 00:05:05,709 --> 00:05:09,125 To you the presenter (Deandray Cole) 74 00:05:09,250 --> 00:05:11,918 I woke up this morning. I got out of my bed 75 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:15,209 "I had a large cup of coffee to wake up well." 76 00:05:15,542 --> 00:05:18,417 "I've been at home for a long time. I'm there." 77 00:05:18,542 --> 00:05:21,709 "But I can still sing, what's wrong with this?" 78 00:05:25,083 --> 00:05:28,000 "What's wrong with this? What's wrong with this?" 79 00:05:31,501 --> 00:05:34,334 "What's wrong with this? What's wrong with this?" 80 00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:40,209 "What's wrong with this?" 81 00:05:40,334 --> 00:05:43,834 "!Yes" 82 00:05:44,918 --> 00:05:49,250 Well, thanks for joining us on our program 83 00:05:49,375 --> 00:05:51,959 Where we will learn to stay safe at home 84 00:05:52,042 --> 00:05:54,209 Our guests are very busy 85 00:05:54,334 --> 00:05:58,375 So, I brought this timer Let's make sure they don't delay 86 00:05:59,501 --> 00:06:01,501 We will talk about social spacing 87 00:06:03,999 --> 00:06:05,667 I will talk about diligence 88 00:06:07,209 --> 00:06:08,999 (Covid Resistance 19) 89 00:06:10,375 --> 00:06:14,042 "This would be amazing, amazing, huge and long." 90 00:06:14,167 --> 00:06:17,542 "Severe, jerky, classy and amazing." 91 00:06:17,667 --> 00:06:19,334 ... everyone says 92 00:06:22,626 --> 00:06:25,542 "What's wrong with this? What's wrong with this?" 93 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,918 "What's wrong with this? What's wrong with this?" 94 00:06:32,375 --> 00:06:34,959 "...What's the problem with" 95 00:06:35,042 --> 00:06:38,042 "... I said what's wrong" 96 00:06:38,209 --> 00:06:43,459 "Let someone tell me what's wrong with this, yes!" 97 00:06:45,083 --> 00:06:48,375 Well, we are very fortunate 98 00:06:48,501 --> 00:06:50,459 To be with us, Mr. Charles Barclay 99 00:06:50,584 --> 00:06:53,334 Which is in a new documentary About Michael Jordan 100 00:06:53,459 --> 00:06:56,417 I will not lie, this is strange - (Charles Barclay) - 101 00:06:56,542 --> 00:07:01,459 It is, Charles? Everyone is talking About Michael Jordan's new documentary 102 00:07:01,584 --> 00:07:04,501 And you played against Michael In the 1993 finals 103 00:07:04,626 --> 00:07:07,501 I was on the Olympic team, how was it? 104 00:07:07,626 --> 00:07:11,876 This was cool, and the documentary is awesome 105 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:16,209 But they did not show everything Let me tell you something that it does not contain 106 00:07:18,542 --> 00:07:21,999 speak - Well, as I was saying - 107 00:07:22,083 --> 00:07:26,584 I played with Michael and the others And there are amazing stories people still don't know 108 00:07:26,709 --> 00:07:29,250 Amazing stories 109 00:07:29,626 --> 00:07:33,999 Yes, and you may hear it if you let me speak please 110 00:07:34,083 --> 00:07:36,250 "I will let you speak now." 111 00:07:36,375 --> 00:07:38,667 No, you don't let me do it, that's a pity 112 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:41,167 ... I'm trying to tell you when Michael and I got up 113 00:07:41,292 --> 00:07:44,501 "... Jordan was the most amazing, and I have to say." 114 00:07:47,709 --> 00:07:50,626 "What's wrong with this? What's wrong with this?" 115 00:07:54,042 --> 00:07:57,000 "What's wrong with this? What's wrong with this?" 116 00:07:57,626 --> 00:07:58,959 "ladies and gentlemen" 117 00:07:59,542 --> 00:08:03,375 Join us after. " "Belle stunts social spacing 118 00:08:03,542 --> 00:08:05,626 (Quartina) 119 00:08:07,334 --> 00:08:09,834 Merlo wine. 120 00:08:10,626 --> 00:08:14,250 "I will only drink toast for tonight." 121 00:08:14,375 --> 00:08:17,167 Merlo wine. 122 00:08:17,501 --> 00:08:21,042 You have to believe in the spirit of Merlo wine. 123 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:24,751 So go to parties and have fun. 124 00:08:24,876 --> 00:08:28,292 Go to spring vacation. "I dance in the sun 125 00:08:28,459 --> 00:08:31,584 "I'll be here. It just started." 126 00:08:31,709 --> 00:08:37,709 With Merlo's wine for me only. 127 00:08:42,167 --> 00:08:45,083 "What's wrong with this? What's wrong with this?" 128 00:08:45,834 --> 00:08:47,959 Ladies and gentlemen, here they are 129 00:08:48,042 --> 00:08:51,792 A special appearance from Hobby Hot Wheels And Lego Kidd 130 00:08:51,918 --> 00:08:55,042 Come on, amateur. Come on, amateur. Come on, Lego, come on, Lego 131 00:08:55,167 --> 00:08:58,584 Faster! Faster! Behave like crazy "It is your birthday 132 00:09:01,876 --> 00:09:04,751 "What's wrong with this? What's wrong with this?" 133 00:09:08,375 --> 00:09:11,292 "What's wrong with this? What's wrong with this?" 134 00:09:11,751 --> 00:09:14,959 "...What's the problem with" 135 00:09:15,042 --> 00:09:18,626 "... I said what's wrong" 136 00:09:18,751 --> 00:09:23,375 "Let someone tell me this is wrong." 137 00:09:23,542 --> 00:09:26,584 "Please someone come to my house." 138 00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:32,209 He teaches my children, yes! 139 00:09:33,542 --> 00:09:34,876 Okay 140 00:09:35,375 --> 00:09:39,501 Well, my kids have to use the laptop That we rented from the local library 141 00:09:39,626 --> 00:09:41,292 For their home schooling 142 00:09:41,417 --> 00:09:43,876 But I want to thank (Charles Barclay) for his presence 143 00:09:43,999 --> 00:09:46,292 That's it? Did not matter 144 00:09:46,417 --> 00:09:49,459 And thank you to the distinguished (DJ Khaled) 145 00:09:49,584 --> 00:09:52,584 Well, I think it's another episode. 146 00:09:52,709 --> 00:09:55,167 And (Lynzi Buckingham) 147 00:09:55,292 --> 00:10:00,626 I know we haven't let you speak on any episode Length 10 years 148 00:10:01,918 --> 00:10:04,542 Lindsay, Lindsay. 149 00:10:05,209 --> 00:10:07,042 "disconnection" - that's unfortunate - 150 00:10:07,167 --> 00:10:09,000 Thanks for trying anyway, Lindsay 151 00:10:09,167 --> 00:10:11,999 What do you think about waving to you from my car On your birthday? 152 00:10:12,083 --> 00:10:15,417 Yes, he was careful For a car (25 Buick Licersers), okay 153 00:10:15,542 --> 00:10:16,876 ... until next time 154 00:10:23,918 --> 00:10:25,209 "What's the story of that?" 155 00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:26,959 "What's the story of that?" 156 00:10:28,292 --> 00:10:31,000 SNL from Home 157 00:10:41,790 --> 00:10:45,160 Good evening, I'm Valerie Weber Replace Brian Satter 158 00:10:45,290 --> 00:10:48,410 And what happened to him happened to our colleague On CNN, Chris Como 159 00:10:48,500 --> 00:10:50,700 He was infected with the (Covid 19) virus 160 00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:53,290 (Brian) will join us directly From his home in Connecticut 161 00:10:53,410 --> 00:10:55,830 Brian, how are you? Miss you here) 162 00:10:55,950 --> 00:10:58,450 And I miss you, too, believe me 163 00:10:58,580 --> 00:11:02,370 I am in stone in the guest house 10 days ago 164 00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:07,500 Unfortunately, the virus was transmitted infection For my teenage daughter, Sarah 165 00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:12,200 ... and she's okay, but she's stuck with me here, so 166 00:11:12,580 --> 00:11:14,830 But we agree well, are we, Sarah? 167 00:11:14,950 --> 00:11:16,290 "Certainly" 168 00:11:16,540 --> 00:11:21,870 We use her phone to communicate with you today So, thank her for that 169 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:25,580 As you know, Valerie I'm still using my old phone, Blackberry 170 00:11:25,700 --> 00:11:29,950 I know, but luckily Your daughter is with you to operate the camera 171 00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:34,040 Brian, do you know how you got infected? 172 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:36,080 Unfortunately, listen ... 173 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:42,120 I was one of the first to miss early invitations For social spacing seriously 174 00:11:42,250 --> 00:11:45,120 And I went to a very crowded pub 175 00:11:45,250 --> 00:11:48,870 Brian. Brian. The night before bars closed - 176 00:11:49,410 --> 00:11:52,490 I was almost sure that I had it there 177 00:11:52,580 --> 00:11:56,160 Brian, there seems to be a funny filter. On the phone 178 00:11:56,290 --> 00:11:58,950 Here I feel old 179 00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:02,160 I don’t know what that means Is the camera okay, Sarah? 180 00:12:02,490 --> 00:12:05,950 Yes - My daughter says things are good on our part - 181 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:07,700 Well, he disappeared, he disappeared, yes 182 00:12:08,450 --> 00:12:10,580 I thought your daughter was messing with you 183 00:12:11,500 --> 00:12:13,870 Brian, do you feel better? 184 00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:18,120 I thought that, but I couldn't get rid of the fever 185 00:12:18,490 --> 00:12:24,250 She came back last night And nothing saves me from my discomfort 186 00:12:24,660 --> 00:12:29,910 Well, I understood, if you have joined us now Brian's funny filters are not from us 187 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:34,490 Yes, my daughter says the camera looks good So I am not sure what is happening 188 00:12:34,790 --> 00:12:38,370 she is not good Brian, are you having difficulty breathing? 189 00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:43,080 A little bit, Valerie, when I take a deep breath 190 00:12:44,580 --> 00:12:45,910 Look at this fool 191 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:50,870 I feel some trouble here But it is not severe 192 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:55,080 - Well, well, Brian ... And I just want to say, Valerie. 193 00:12:55,250 --> 00:13:00,620 I am shocked by the federal government's response For this epidemic 194 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,750 Where is driving? - "The Strange Child Man: Where's Driving?" - 195 00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:08,910 The president tweeted and promoted violence Shame on you, Mr. President 196 00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:11,830 And I'm not afraid to say that, shame on you 197 00:13:11,950 --> 00:13:13,790 Well, yes, thanks, Brian, yes 198 00:13:13,910 --> 00:13:15,790 Let's conclude the meeting, do you have something to add? 199 00:13:15,910 --> 00:13:19,830 Yes, to everyone who objects On closings 200 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,370 You look fools - Sater to the protesters: You look fools. 201 00:13:22,750 --> 00:13:25,700 Take it seriously please 202 00:13:25,910 --> 00:13:27,700 I'm sure they will do now 203 00:13:27,950 --> 00:13:29,950 Thanks, Brian. Thank you, Valerie. 204 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:32,410 !Damn 205 00:13:32,950 --> 00:13:36,660 After the break, we'll talk to Dr. John Mitchell The epidemiologist 206 00:13:36,790 --> 00:13:40,700 Which ... I see he has a wrong filter on his face, too 207 00:13:40,910 --> 00:13:45,250 No, that's intentional, Valerie My laptop camera doesn't look beautiful 208 00:13:45,370 --> 00:13:47,490 So, I wanted to give myself some glow 209 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:50,040 It suits you, well 210 00:13:50,790 --> 00:13:52,250 Wait for us 211 00:13:52,370 --> 00:13:53,790 In-depth with Brian Satter. 212 00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:01,290 (JB On Da Track) 213 00:14:04,580 --> 00:14:07,080 "I am stuck in a stone, and I have nothing to do" 214 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:09,700 "I miss my friends, and they miss me too" 215 00:14:09,830 --> 00:14:12,410 Tired of watching series. Speaking via Zoom 216 00:14:12,500 --> 00:14:15,200 "Hiding from my mom, having fun in the bathroom" 217 00:14:15,490 --> 00:14:17,790 "I'm fed up with the same frequently asked questions, questions" 218 00:14:17,910 --> 00:14:20,700 How are you doing? how do you live?" "What are you watching? What will you have for dinner? 219 00:14:20,830 --> 00:14:23,080 "I'm fed up with the same repetition ... repetition" 220 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:26,120 Shoot your mustache, shave your hair. "Exercise, this is for the weak 221 00:14:26,250 --> 00:14:28,580 "I'm fed up with all the absurdity." 222 00:14:28,870 --> 00:14:31,450 "I'm sick of my friend still wearing his jewelry." 223 00:14:31,540 --> 00:14:33,790 "I'm sick of sitting in the dark ... in the dark" 224 00:14:33,910 --> 00:14:36,490 I have nothing to watch. "I finished watching Ozark 225 00:14:36,580 --> 00:14:39,080 ... hand sanitizer is my best friend now. "best friend 226 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:41,750 "I use it a lot until my hands are cracked." 227 00:14:41,870 --> 00:14:44,370 "I look forward to the end of all of this." 228 00:14:44,490 --> 00:14:47,500 So we can get out again. "And do our normal business 229 00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:51,120 "Stuck with my family, and I can't get out." 230 00:14:51,250 --> 00:14:53,000 "Yes" 231 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:57,040 "We've been sitting on my sofa for about two months." 232 00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:03,660 "We have nothing left to talk about, yes" 233 00:15:03,790 --> 00:15:06,950 "It is a quarantine in my home" 234 00:15:07,790 --> 00:15:13,160 "I will lose my mind, I will lose it, I will lose it" 235 00:15:13,290 --> 00:15:18,700 "I will lose my mind, I will lose it, I will lose it" 236 00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:22,040 "I'm here on my own, so don't ask me" 237 00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:24,620 Stay home" "I wear a mask of underwear 238 00:15:24,790 --> 00:15:27,330 "I beat my dog ​​with a baseball glove." 239 00:15:27,490 --> 00:15:29,910 "I make bread myself, and it tastes disgusting." 240 00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:32,250 "My leg was broken two weeks ago" 241 00:15:32,370 --> 00:15:35,330 "But I'm afraid to go to the hospital." 242 00:15:35,490 --> 00:15:38,080 "I never go out, because I might see my neighbor." 243 00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:40,870 "I use toilet paper on both sides." 244 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:43,410 "My wife tried to kiss me, and she refused." 245 00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:46,120 "I miss basketball, I miss Rob Schneider." 246 00:15:46,700 --> 00:15:48,250 You can do this - No - 247 00:15:48,540 --> 00:15:49,910 Sandman, please! 248 00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:52,330 Tell the food delivery person. "To leave food on the street 249 00:15:52,450 --> 00:15:55,370 I feel very bored. "And I started writing songs with Pete 250 00:15:55,660 --> 00:15:58,330 Stuck with my family " "And I can't get out 251 00:15:58,450 --> 00:16:00,790 "I was joking about my wife." 252 00:16:00,910 --> 00:16:04,000 "I've been sitting on my sofa for two months." 253 00:16:06,370 --> 00:16:09,620 "We have nothing left to talk about." 254 00:16:11,700 --> 00:16:14,910 "Quarantine in my home" 255 00:16:15,700 --> 00:16:21,160 "I will lose my mind, I will lose it, I will lose it" 256 00:16:21,290 --> 00:16:27,410 "I will lose my mind, I will lose it, I will lose it" 257 00:16:27,790 --> 00:16:30,790 "Thanks to the medical staff, we love you" 258 00:16:30,910 --> 00:16:32,790 Directed by: Pete's mother ((Sir) and (Sony Sandler) 259 00:16:33,790 --> 00:16:35,700 Bartonsons Grocery Store Hello - 260 00:16:35,830 --> 00:16:40,370 We are Cathy and Susanna Ann Helen From Bartonsons grocery store 261 00:16:40,490 --> 00:16:45,370 As you know, the main commodities Like chicken, milk and bread, it runs out quickly 262 00:16:45,490 --> 00:16:49,410 That's why we wanted to inform you about some materials Which, despite the epidemic 263 00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:51,830 Still abundant 264 00:16:51,950 --> 00:16:54,660 Frozen pizza (hawaiian) items 265 00:16:54,790 --> 00:16:58,500 A small bag of dried beans - Industrial ghee - 266 00:16:58,620 --> 00:17:02,000 Cauliflower noodles Pringles mint - 267 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:06,540 A wine from Missouri. Chic mix, it's all salted biscuit. 268 00:17:06,830 --> 00:17:09,000 The impossible crab 269 00:17:09,370 --> 00:17:11,160 Bananas with fluoride 270 00:17:11,540 --> 00:17:15,910 And of course, Dasani's water. what's the matter with him? It is water - 271 00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:17,660 I don't know, I like it 272 00:17:17,790 --> 00:17:21,620 Although some goods have run out Like eggs and soap 273 00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:24,410 However, some materials are widely available 274 00:17:24,500 --> 00:17:27,450 We cannot get rid of it - Like oat milk pizza - 275 00:17:27,910 --> 00:17:32,200 Boy scout biscuits, it's wet - Pepsi with crab - 276 00:17:32,580 --> 00:17:36,040 The tomo, it's tofu Made of beef and cheese 277 00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:38,120 (Mario Batali) pasta sauce 278 00:17:38,250 --> 00:17:42,540 That we redefined as spaghetti sauce The fat Italian who ties his hair 279 00:17:42,790 --> 00:17:46,370 And of course, (Dasani) water with low sodium. 280 00:17:46,490 --> 00:17:49,080 Now, 30 percent less salt. 281 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:51,000 “We also provide procurement delivery service” 282 00:17:51,120 --> 00:17:53,870 Our website provides alternatives easily. 283 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,700 "I asked for spaghetti sauce." 284 00:17:55,830 --> 00:17:57,490 "Do you want hot sauce?" 285 00:17:57,750 --> 00:17:59,790 "She requested toilet paper." 286 00:17:59,910 --> 00:18:02,200 Do you want a video CD? Van Van Helsing? 287 00:18:02,450 --> 00:18:05,540 We also have the equipment So you can be creative at home 288 00:18:05,700 --> 00:18:07,700 As a barbecue kit yourself 289 00:18:07,870 --> 00:18:12,490 A commercial pig weighing 181 kg. "A barbecue sauce and a knife 290 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:16,870 And of course, to clean Wet (Dasani) Towel with Clorox 291 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:19,290 Kills 4 thousand percent of germs 292 00:18:19,410 --> 00:18:22,660 In Partensons, there are a few things That we can always guarantee 293 00:18:22,790 --> 00:18:29,200 Dedicated customer service And abundance of some materials that will never run out 294 00:18:29,330 --> 00:18:32,540 Like Ukrainian milk - "Oreo with antacids" - 295 00:18:32,660 --> 00:18:36,870 "Marshmallow soup" - And (Dasani) water is now vegan. 296 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:40,660 So, consider adding these favorite items To the shopping list 297 00:18:40,790 --> 00:18:42,450 We want to give you what you want 298 00:18:42,540 --> 00:18:45,000 But first, we want you to buy what we have 299 00:18:45,120 --> 00:18:49,120 From your friends at Partensons Grocery, yes 300 00:18:49,620 --> 00:18:51,160 Bartonsons Grocery Store 301 00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:00,200 And now, it's time for a big lunch. " From the Dominican 302 00:19:00,330 --> 00:19:04,000 With Big Baby. 303 00:19:04,500 --> 00:19:10,160 Hi, I am a former baseball player (David Ortiz) 304 00:19:10,330 --> 00:19:13,830 If you are like me, and you want a great lunch From the Dominican 305 00:19:13,950 --> 00:19:15,500 With Big Baby 306 00:19:16,370 --> 00:19:21,200 You might say to yourself, "Big Baby." How to prepare a great lunch Dominican 307 00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:24,080 ... we are in stone, and things like "can't be bought" 308 00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:28,410 Fried banana, rice and beans And seafood pies 309 00:19:28,540 --> 00:19:31,750 And you can't find Wasakaka sauce For fried cheese? 310 00:19:31,990 --> 00:19:35,450 "(Wasakaka)" - That's right, you have to learn to improvise - 311 00:19:35,750 --> 00:19:38,540 So, today, we're going to get a very simple dish 312 00:19:38,660 --> 00:19:41,200 Using some things That I found at home 313 00:19:41,370 --> 00:19:44,290 His name is Sankuchu Kun Polo 314 00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:47,200 And dried meat Ground beef and lactating pig 315 00:19:47,330 --> 00:19:50,580 And the groin and the crab 316 00:19:50,830 --> 00:19:52,250 Hand of a monkey 317 00:19:52,620 --> 00:19:54,500 And the dolphin 318 00:19:54,910 --> 00:19:56,990 You know, the things that are available In all food stores in homes 319 00:19:57,450 --> 00:20:00,870 On the occasion of talking about food stores I have to mention the video sponsors today 320 00:20:01,290 --> 00:20:03,000 Canned beans can 321 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,500 Canned beans can 322 00:20:06,370 --> 00:20:10,160 Do you have a bean box you found In a flood has now erupted? 323 00:20:10,750 --> 00:20:12,750 That might be a bad sign, man 324 00:20:12,950 --> 00:20:16,080 You may have to get rid of it Before the beans explode outside your body 325 00:20:16,450 --> 00:20:23,120 Do you wash your hands a thousand times a day? So you are in pure hell 326 00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:25,540 "Pure hell" 327 00:20:25,990 --> 00:20:28,450 Why is my skin more like a dust pile? 328 00:20:28,750 --> 00:20:32,660 Well, it's time to prepare a dish Sankucho has seven types of meat. 329 00:20:32,790 --> 00:20:35,410 The dish that the Humane Society calls Genocide 330 00:20:35,750 --> 00:20:40,540 I set up a professional overhead camera as well To see exactly what I will cook 331 00:20:40,660 --> 00:20:42,990 It is a phone (iPhone) attached to the ceiling 332 00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:46,830 Damn, man! 333 00:20:46,950 --> 00:20:50,580 Well, the first step, you will need Too much 334 00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:54,370 That's why you should contact my Puerto Rican relative (Big Banny) 335 00:20:55,080 --> 00:21:00,200 Hello! I am Big Bunny I sell very large pots 336 00:21:00,330 --> 00:21:06,290 Do you want a capacity for 22 animal species? Even big ones like llamas and kittens? 337 00:21:06,500 --> 00:21:09,450 So, contact Big Ban for the big pots 338 00:21:09,910 --> 00:21:13,660 And now I sell sports pants too 339 00:21:14,370 --> 00:21:19,790 Do you want to give my presentation on Zoom Worried that your boss will see your penis? 340 00:21:20,370 --> 00:21:23,620 Try sweatpants, it's better than nothing 341 00:21:24,660 --> 00:21:28,620 Big Baby, you look fit these days. What is your secret? 342 00:21:28,750 --> 00:21:30,040 I was shot 343 00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:34,330 Well, thank you very much for appearing on our program My relative, see you later 344 00:21:34,450 --> 00:21:36,120 They greeted (Big Builder) all 345 00:21:36,250 --> 00:21:40,080 Well, that was the first step Bought a great deal 346 00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:43,370 The second step, cook everything in the pot 347 00:21:44,990 --> 00:21:46,910 Well, this is the end of our program 348 00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:48,410 In the next episode. 349 00:21:48,620 --> 00:21:51,580 We will make chicken pie First, you eat a chicken 350 00:21:51,750 --> 00:21:56,040 Then you smoke some cocaine and then eat a complete pie 351 00:21:56,410 --> 00:21:59,330 In the program "The Great Dominican Lunch." With Big Baby 352 00:22:04,290 --> 00:22:06,750 "There are many people I haven't met yet." 353 00:22:07,580 --> 00:22:09,250 Why don't I start at home? - (Natalie), flight attendant, (Airbnb) - 354 00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:17,330 Be a host at Airbnb It was one of the experiences that changed my life 355 00:22:17,580 --> 00:22:20,620 Initial, inmate. This is the most beautiful house I've ever stayed in - 356 00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:24,950 Yes! This kitchen 357 00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:30,450 How cool! Very cool Look at all the things she has 358 00:22:33,250 --> 00:22:37,870 Ulle was supposed to stay here for three days. Then the quarantine began 359 00:22:37,990 --> 00:22:40,750 I can stay for another month! 360 00:22:42,910 --> 00:22:44,410 And still here 361 00:22:53,330 --> 00:22:55,620 Ole, can you wash your dishes? 362 00:22:57,990 --> 00:22:59,330 Very clean 363 00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:01,990 I like helping people 364 00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:07,370 There is nothing stronger than opening your home to a stranger 365 00:23:07,700 --> 00:23:10,910 I know, Mom, they fired half of the company’s employees ...So 366 00:23:12,580 --> 00:23:13,910 (first) 367 00:23:14,410 --> 00:23:16,910 The toilet paper is out - My roommate - 368 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:18,950 The toilet paper runs out 369 00:23:19,330 --> 00:23:21,750 You can leave the parcel there 370 00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:23,370 Yes there is 371 00:23:23,500 --> 00:23:27,040 So, I can pay in Swedish currencies From the black market only 372 00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:28,750 But I will pay her later 373 00:23:29,120 --> 00:23:33,250 I am offering a home, my whole house 374 00:23:33,660 --> 00:23:36,450 Hi Grandma! !sleepover party - 375 00:23:40,540 --> 00:23:41,870 It is locked 376 00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:46,750 so cute 377 00:23:49,290 --> 00:23:51,910 I think we will become close friends forever 378 00:23:59,410 --> 00:24:03,950 Well, I look handsome and good I'm ready now 379 00:24:04,250 --> 00:24:08,040 My fitness is high, like this, like this 380 00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:10,990 Do you know anything? You shouldn't have released me 381 00:24:11,120 --> 00:24:14,660 This is what I know, because I'm going to call these girls And I see what news 382 00:24:14,790 --> 00:24:16,580 T Ready is ready. It is better if they are prepared 383 00:24:16,700 --> 00:24:19,250 You will answer the call, it must be answered 384 00:24:19,370 --> 00:24:20,750 You will answer the call 385 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:25,990 What is the news, Sheila? Sheila, your man is finally free, my love. 386 00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:29,000 Is that you, Terence? - Yes my love, with my flesh and meat - 387 00:24:29,120 --> 00:24:33,450 Didn't you know me girl? I beg you - I thought you were condemned to 600 years - 388 00:24:33,580 --> 00:24:37,700 I was actually going to spend that time Then the Corona came 389 00:24:37,830 --> 00:24:41,950 They released me while I was free now I can come to your house now 390 00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:46,080 And we can have sex the way That we talked about 391 00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:50,000 You raunchy! But I do not go out now 392 00:24:50,120 --> 00:24:54,580 After the government implemented a technology ban The fifth generation caused a pandemic 393 00:24:54,910 --> 00:24:56,250 So, I will stay home until July 394 00:24:56,370 --> 00:24:59,540 July? Stop joking with me ... hello? 395 00:24:59,790 --> 00:25:03,580 !Hello? Hello? Damn The Internet must have a weak 396 00:25:06,790 --> 00:25:08,910 Hello - Hello sweety - 397 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,950 T-Ready, is that you? Yes, I am free - 398 00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:17,950 I went back to the streets and I was ready to do that So that we practice masturbation next to each other 399 00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:22,160 Listen, I can't do that now My kids are in the other room 400 00:25:22,290 --> 00:25:24,450 Children? What? I'm home, girl. (T) - 401 00:25:24,580 --> 00:25:27,790 What happened between us while you are in prison will remain in prison 402 00:25:27,910 --> 00:25:30,200 But, Kai Kai ... Don't say but, okay? - 403 00:25:30,330 --> 00:25:34,830 I started writing letters to you while in prison Because I thought you would stay there forever 404 00:25:34,950 --> 00:25:37,750 For pirating a DVD set (Sopranos series) 405 00:25:37,870 --> 00:25:40,450 Who knew they were wearing ten episodes? In each disc (DVD)? 406 00:25:40,580 --> 00:25:41,950 !I'm coming 407 00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:47,910 Shut up! Everything we talked about while you were imprisoned It was a lie, okay? 408 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:50,250 You didn't slap my ass 409 00:25:50,370 --> 00:25:52,580 I'm not a wealthy street girl, okay? 410 00:25:52,700 --> 00:25:55,990 My name is (Ann) and I am a mother and I attend church 411 00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:59,450 I don't need this extra tension now Therefore, delete this number 412 00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:02,790 Damn! There is no fulfillment 413 00:26:04,910 --> 00:26:07,750 Hello - Stacy. Stacy. 414 00:26:07,870 --> 00:26:10,200 You are so sweet, this is Terre 415 00:26:10,330 --> 00:26:11,790 Terre? 416 00:26:13,580 --> 00:26:18,000 I never thought I'd see your face again - Here you see it now, girl. 417 00:26:18,120 --> 00:26:20,040 ... I'm ready to do that 418 00:26:21,910 --> 00:26:24,790 Ter ... looks handsome. 419 00:26:24,950 --> 00:26:27,160 Are you fine? Are you sick? 420 00:26:27,290 --> 00:26:29,870 Stop it, it's allergic only 421 00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:34,000 Pollen is everywhere What do you think would you come to have a little fun? 422 00:26:35,500 --> 00:26:39,540 I think I have to take a social spacing Seriously, do you understand what I mean? 423 00:26:39,660 --> 00:26:43,290 If you still want to have fun, maybe you can To hook up your phone and spit on it 424 00:26:43,410 --> 00:26:45,250 As I exit I am organic here 425 00:26:45,370 --> 00:26:49,990 Why are you so scary? Well, I have to do it somehow 426 00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:07,790 Ladies and gentlemen, Miley Cyrus 427 00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:52,540 It's the weekend news paragraph. With (Colin Ghost) and (Michael Chieh) 428 00:30:56,950 --> 00:30:59,870 Welcome to the weekend news paragraph Home Edition, I'm Colin Ghost 429 00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:01,370 And I'm Michael Chih 430 00:31:01,750 --> 00:31:03,410 We know things are going well 431 00:31:03,540 --> 00:31:08,450 When the phrase "Do not drink bleach." At the national level after a speech by the president 432 00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:13,080 After a doctor stated that the Corona virus Quickly dies in the sun 433 00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:17,450 President Trump asked if it was It is possible to enter light into the body 434 00:31:17,790 --> 00:31:20,910 Although I'm sure they chanted, saying "Insert light into the body." 435 00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:23,660 In Johns Town before they drank poison 436 00:31:24,370 --> 00:31:30,990 Then the president suggested injecting the body With antiseptics to treat the virus 437 00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:34,450 Experts described the idea as a genius blow 438 00:31:34,950 --> 00:31:37,200 "With the deletion of the word genius" 439 00:31:38,700 --> 00:31:42,330 (Trump) retracted his words after that He said he was speaking sarcastically 440 00:31:42,450 --> 00:31:46,370 This is exactly what one says When he knows he said something terrible 441 00:31:46,580 --> 00:31:48,450 Colin, speaking of atrocity 442 00:31:48,580 --> 00:31:51,290 When I have a child Two parents are very bad 443 00:31:51,410 --> 00:31:55,450 Someone interferes and takes him to live With another family, right? 444 00:31:55,950 --> 00:31:57,500 Of course - You think it is possible - 445 00:31:57,620 --> 00:32:01,330 Another state obtain the right of guardianship of us? 446 00:32:02,330 --> 00:32:05,250 Until our government just stands on its feet 447 00:32:05,370 --> 00:32:08,750 Any stable place Like Germany or Japan 448 00:32:08,870 --> 00:32:11,370 Or (Nigeria) or even (Iraq) 449 00:32:11,500 --> 00:32:13,950 I will accept (Iraq) now 450 00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:18,580 Don't they owe us a service? Did we not kill their father when they were in trouble? 451 00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:21,200 I am speaking of irony of course 452 00:32:21,330 --> 00:32:25,080 A man was seen in Ohio He is protesting against home commitment orders 453 00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:28,040 Wearing an American flag and a diaper 454 00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:33,000 The man said that we should Reopening ... the economy 455 00:32:35,370 --> 00:32:39,450 There is a funny truth, if knowledge is struck American and a nappy with a lightning bolt 456 00:32:39,580 --> 00:32:41,450 The result will be (Sean Hannity) 457 00:32:41,950 --> 00:32:46,500 The funny thing is that all Protesters against home commitment orders 458 00:32:46,660 --> 00:32:50,330 They live in areas without places Basically go to it 459 00:32:50,450 --> 00:32:54,620 I may understand Vegas’s desire Or (Miami) to open up 460 00:32:54,750 --> 00:32:56,830 Because cocaine needs someone to mix it 461 00:32:56,950 --> 00:33:01,370 But if you protest in the countryside Texas or South Carolina. 462 00:33:01,500 --> 00:33:04,200 Where can you go, Earl? 463 00:33:04,370 --> 00:33:08,500 Except for the Walmart store and your home cellar Who are still open? 464 00:33:08,790 --> 00:33:12,370 It is supposed to scare Those weapons? The virus? 465 00:33:12,500 --> 00:33:14,250 Nurses? the police? 466 00:33:14,620 --> 00:33:18,370 It's crazy that these are fanatical rural people Sorry, the pro-democrat states 467 00:33:18,500 --> 00:33:22,990 You always talk about supporting military forces It calls for punishing those who attack it 468 00:33:23,080 --> 00:33:25,700 Then those sons rush States to bear arms 469 00:33:25,830 --> 00:33:28,160 When the state requests something from them 470 00:33:28,290 --> 00:33:29,910 How is this patriotic? 471 00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:31,790 This is like a man says "I love my wife" 472 00:33:31,950 --> 00:33:34,790 But I keep a gun. "As a precaution, under my pillow 473 00:33:35,580 --> 00:33:40,000 Dan Patrick, Texas Deputy Governor He urges his state to fully reopen its business 474 00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:43,450 He says that there are more important things than living 475 00:33:43,870 --> 00:33:48,500 This is the Kentucky Chicken menu logo That equals 20 dollars 476 00:33:49,750 --> 00:33:54,450 Anti-vaccines began to change their minds More and more vaccines 477 00:33:54,580 --> 00:33:56,120 In the aftermath of the Corona virus 478 00:33:56,250 --> 00:33:59,870 Because opponents of vaccines are concerned Sure that if they catch the virus 479 00:33:59,990 --> 00:34:03,330 They may not have the opportunity To breastfeed their teenagers naturally 480 00:34:03,700 --> 00:34:06,910 (Rudi Giuliani) appeared on a channel Fox news this week. 481 00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:10,870 He said stupid words To a degree close to the president's words 482 00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:14,990 But all I need to know is why Rudy looks like Micky Ronny 483 00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:17,160 In "Breakfast at Tiffanys"? 484 00:34:17,870 --> 00:34:19,990 Is he very angry about the Corona virus? 485 00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:23,830 So much so that it turns into an image Asian racism? 486 00:34:25,250 --> 00:34:29,080 And now he joins us through Zoom To explain his experience in the past month 487 00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:30,620 (Pete Davidson) 488 00:34:30,750 --> 00:34:33,990 Thanks, Colin To be here in my basement 489 00:34:34,120 --> 00:34:36,330 Within strict quarantine conditions Prevent me from getting close to my mom 490 00:34:36,450 --> 00:34:38,080 Or even respond to her text messages 491 00:34:38,580 --> 00:34:40,620 This is cool. How are you doing in these circumstances? 492 00:34:40,750 --> 00:34:44,250 We're fine, I didn't draw a tattoo On my face so far 493 00:34:44,370 --> 00:34:46,620 Many have lost that bet 494 00:34:46,950 --> 00:34:50,990 But we're fine, the whole family is healthy Good thanks, Lord, and everyone at home 495 00:34:51,410 --> 00:34:53,660 This is good, I am glad they are They take it seriously 496 00:34:53,790 --> 00:34:56,500 Me too, you have to understand That this is Staten Island 497 00:34:56,620 --> 00:34:59,450 Where hand washing was known Before dinner so far 498 00:34:59,580 --> 00:35:02,160 As “an advertisement of homosexuality 499 00:35:02,950 --> 00:35:05,250 But I know this is difficult for everyone 500 00:35:05,410 --> 00:35:08,950 Except you, because you are being held At home with Scarlett Johansson 501 00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:11,120 You must be afraid to find a cure 502 00:35:11,700 --> 00:35:14,250 It's not true, Pete. I know that - 503 00:35:14,370 --> 00:35:16,660 But you are one of the lucky ones, understand me? 504 00:35:16,790 --> 00:35:20,330 Everyone who does not believe the earth is flat Isolating himself at home now 505 00:35:20,500 --> 00:35:23,000 That is, you either have a relationship more than ever 506 00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:26,450 Or you are like me and you can get to know me On any porn movie star 507 00:35:26,580 --> 00:35:28,080 When seeing her head from behind 508 00:35:28,620 --> 00:35:31,410 But it turns out that people are They are still trying to establish relationships 509 00:35:31,580 --> 00:35:34,200 Even the municipality was forced To distribute the booklet last month 510 00:35:34,330 --> 00:35:37,250 Entitled "Sexual Relationships And Corona Virus 2019 511 00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:39,450 And what was written in it? 512 00:35:40,250 --> 00:35:43,660 First, you can establish the relationship Without kissing 513 00:35:43,950 --> 00:35:48,080 I like that the state of (New York) applies the same Fancy politics in "Pretty Woman" movie 514 00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:52,450 I do not know if the cause is illness Or is it advice not to get involved in a relationship 515 00:35:52,580 --> 00:35:54,370 Because you do not need it currently 516 00:35:54,750 --> 00:35:56,620 This reflects the extent of madness of the epidemic 517 00:35:56,790 --> 00:35:59,660 We have known that the strangers who They establish relationships, wearing leather masks 518 00:35:59,790 --> 00:36:01,790 They are smart from the start 519 00:36:01,990 --> 00:36:04,580 The brochure also says that the virus It is not found in the semen 520 00:36:04,700 --> 00:36:08,540 Let the women prepare to receive this information In thousands of messages this year 521 00:36:08,870 --> 00:36:12,200 But the strangest thing is It is immediately after the advice not to kiss 522 00:36:12,330 --> 00:36:14,870 The booklet goes to very dirty talk 523 00:36:14,990 --> 00:36:16,990 So much so that I am not allowed to say it on the air 524 00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:20,700 So let's call them "Lover of Asses" 525 00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:25,040 I really can't believe Ali Modify the words of the Ministry of Health 526 00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:27,990 To make it suitable for the program "Who Introduced" the penis 527 00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:29,620 take a look - "May he enter your mouth" - 528 00:36:29,750 --> 00:36:31,500 Gosh! What? 529 00:36:31,620 --> 00:36:35,660 I know! The website surprised me And I told him, "We just got to know each other 530 00:36:35,790 --> 00:36:39,790 I hope this started as a group Very straightforward recommendations 531 00:36:39,910 --> 00:36:42,500 Without mentioning a fan of breeches 532 00:36:42,620 --> 00:36:44,450 ... a government employee said 533 00:36:44,580 --> 00:36:47,080 It seems we are not present then. 534 00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:49,660 We are in 2020, optimists. 535 00:36:50,290 --> 00:36:53,000 This is not the description you expected 536 00:36:53,330 --> 00:36:56,000 I know that - Did the brochure mention anything else? - 537 00:36:56,250 --> 00:36:59,950 Yes, there is an alert too The need to wash before masturbation 538 00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:03,750 And I learned it the hard way Due to an accident involving hot Chito chips 539 00:37:04,620 --> 00:37:07,660 So do you think the booklet was overrated? 540 00:37:08,330 --> 00:37:11,250 No, I am glad they educated people About safe relationships 541 00:37:11,370 --> 00:37:15,370 But I never expected to be thrilled After reading publications from the Ministry of Health 542 00:37:15,500 --> 00:37:17,040 Thank you, Diplazzo 543 00:37:17,620 --> 00:37:20,410 I am glad that you are protecting yourself This was Pete Davidson 544 00:37:20,620 --> 00:37:22,660 This is strange in the absence of the audience 545 00:37:24,330 --> 00:37:30,290 Street artist (Banksy) posted photos For an art project executed in the bathroom 546 00:37:30,410 --> 00:37:33,120 The piece was called "Guess what I ate" 547 00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:37,040 Popular drink now Among those committed to staying in the homes 548 00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:39,410 It is strawberry flavored milk 549 00:37:39,540 --> 00:37:43,620 By the way, strawberry milk shakes It is the name of Prince (Harry) when it resembles women 550 00:37:45,330 --> 00:37:48,450 It warns celibate psychologists Detained in homes 551 00:37:48,620 --> 00:37:51,540 Until they have to resist the craving In communicating with their ex-loved ones 552 00:37:51,660 --> 00:37:54,370 Okay, but if I don't send To my ex granules any messages 553 00:37:54,580 --> 00:37:56,250 How will I tell them that I love them? 554 00:37:57,040 --> 00:37:59,250 ESPN launched The Last Dance 555 00:37:59,370 --> 00:38:02,910 Who tracks the last season To Michael Jordan with the Chicago Bulls 556 00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:05,870 Unfortunately, the movie ignores important questions 557 00:38:05,990 --> 00:38:09,080 For example, why do pictures (Michael Jordan) Haines' Declaration 558 00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:10,750 With drinkers like Hitler's mustache? 559 00:38:11,580 --> 00:38:14,540 It removed the (Land Olx) butter The image of the indigenous woman of America 560 00:38:14,660 --> 00:38:16,540 From the image printed on its cover - "Change the logo" - 561 00:38:16,660 --> 00:38:19,330 Because of fears That the image looks racist 562 00:38:19,540 --> 00:38:22,250 Unfortunately, they replaced her image Pipeline image 563 00:38:22,950 --> 00:38:26,500 A lawyer protested in Florida To open the public beaches 564 00:38:26,620 --> 00:38:28,700 Wearing a fancy dress costume 565 00:38:28,830 --> 00:38:32,450 And warn people on the beach From getting too close to each other 566 00:38:32,700 --> 00:38:36,040 He was embarrassed when he met By chance, with the real reaper 567 00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:38,990 Who was wandering around Florida as usual 568 00:38:39,790 --> 00:38:42,160 Kelly Clarkson was fired A new song called (iDearU) 569 00:38:42,290 --> 00:38:43,830 In six different languages 570 00:38:43,990 --> 00:38:48,990 It is a song that gathered the fans Around the world without being dazzled 571 00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:53,080 A former postal worker was arrested For stealing an iPhone 572 00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:55,500 And a thousand Viagra tablets 573 00:38:55,750 --> 00:38:58,620 I suppose he sends people messages In it he says that he is awakened 574 00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:04,040 This is a very old joke, I liked it 575 00:39:04,290 --> 00:39:07,120 Discovered a new study The pigeons are in New York 576 00:39:07,250 --> 00:39:10,540 Genetically different About pigeons in Boston 577 00:39:10,750 --> 00:39:12,080 Easy to notice the difference 578 00:39:12,200 --> 00:39:14,990 Because it is the Boston bath Shouting at the black bird 579 00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:16,950 To return where it came from 580 00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:21,830 Well I want to say Before we conclude our paragraph for tonight 581 00:39:21,990 --> 00:39:25,580 Michael, you must be. I heard about AllN's challenge 582 00:39:25,700 --> 00:39:30,830 Where people challenge each other To run different experiences 583 00:39:30,950 --> 00:39:34,000 They invite a fan to share the experience 584 00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:38,500 This is a way to collect a lot From donations to the needy 585 00:39:38,620 --> 00:39:44,410 I assume this is something You want to participate in it, right? 586 00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:47,870 Well, well, of course 587 00:39:48,620 --> 00:39:52,990 Well, we have prepared a great site 588 00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:54,660 In the All In Challenge 589 00:39:54,790 --> 00:39:59,080 And the person who donates the most Of money over the next week 590 00:39:59,830 --> 00:40:05,250 He will have the opportunity to write a teaser They can be listed in the next episode of our program 591 00:40:05,830 --> 00:40:07,790 Without reading it in advance 592 00:40:08,410 --> 00:40:10,120 It will be wonderful 593 00:40:11,540 --> 00:40:13,040 Followers of the program are very enthusiastic 594 00:40:13,660 --> 00:40:20,200 So if they need any guidance Or maybe examples 595 00:40:20,370 --> 00:40:23,910 We sent you humor tonight You can read it 596 00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:27,120 So that all donors have generous 597 00:40:27,660 --> 00:40:32,250 An idea of ​​what they can try 598 00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:35,790 There is a joke that you can read In your email 599 00:40:35,910 --> 00:40:37,250 Are you serious? 600 00:40:37,370 --> 00:40:43,500 I think the cool about your approval ... upfront to do this is that 601 00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:46,450 It will collect a lot of cash 602 00:40:46,620 --> 00:40:49,120 And I think that's what really matters to you, don't you agree? 603 00:40:49,830 --> 00:40:51,450 Yes, my God 604 00:40:51,580 --> 00:40:53,290 Okay 605 00:40:54,700 --> 00:40:56,200 !Oh my God 606 00:40:56,910 --> 00:40:58,580 Is presented here 607 00:40:59,580 --> 00:41:05,620 That NASA curators say is possible The first person to be sent to Mars is a woman 608 00:41:06,910 --> 00:41:10,580 So that dinner is ready When the male astronauts came 609 00:41:10,700 --> 00:41:12,750 !Gosh 610 00:41:13,910 --> 00:41:17,410 This eliminates everything I sought to build 611 00:41:18,620 --> 00:41:20,200 So guys, this is so interesting 612 00:41:20,450 --> 00:41:25,870 If you want to donate and get the chance To get Michael Chih to say a joke 613 00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:29,290 Donate through this link Below 614 00:41:29,790 --> 00:41:31,580 You cannot click on it It is displayed on the screen 615 00:41:31,700 --> 00:41:36,870 But you can look at it and print it And we had to do it in the past 616 00:41:39,790 --> 00:41:42,910 So, this is the link, check it out Thanks for your donations 617 00:41:43,700 --> 00:41:45,830 This was the home version of a news paragraph This weekend I'm Colin Ghost 618 00:41:45,950 --> 00:41:47,750 I’m (Michael Chih), good night 619 00:41:56,450 --> 00:41:58,000 Soul Cycle Virtual Exercises 620 00:41:58,540 --> 00:42:03,540 Welcome, my name is Phoenix Like the name of the university 621 00:42:03,660 --> 00:42:08,000 The Seoul Cycle Club is now closed, so we got ready This live broadcast with our family of coaches 622 00:42:08,120 --> 00:42:12,870 We don't have bikes now, but that won't stop us Who made you pay for us to watch the exercises? 623 00:42:13,160 --> 00:42:14,700 let's go 624 00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:18,000 How are you, Soul Cycle followers? Via the computer? 625 00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:21,540 They call me "Lee," and that's an acronym for Harvey Oswald 626 00:42:21,830 --> 00:42:28,370 It's crazy that people follow this From Los Angeles to California 627 00:42:28,540 --> 00:42:31,660 I have heard a lot of squatting exercises So let's do it 628 00:42:31,870 --> 00:42:34,700 I always try to think in a positive way 629 00:42:34,830 --> 00:42:38,000 I moved to New York Two days before the start of the quarantine 630 00:42:38,200 --> 00:42:40,790 I greet my co-worker Who deceived me by assuming another character 631 00:42:40,950 --> 00:42:44,580 He is not a tall blonde girl But I loved his character 632 00:42:44,700 --> 00:42:46,080 let's go 633 00:42:46,700 --> 00:42:49,290 My name is (Corona) and my name begins with the letter Kef 634 00:42:49,410 --> 00:42:51,450 I always overcome adversity 635 00:42:51,540 --> 00:42:56,160 When they were young, they told me that I had beauty Suitable for acting, but not modeling 636 00:42:56,290 --> 00:42:59,250 So I loaded the Tik Tok app Since I don’t do either 637 00:42:59,370 --> 00:43:00,950 let's go 638 00:43:01,080 --> 00:43:05,330 I (Toyota), and I hear many They talk about antibodies 639 00:43:06,700 --> 00:43:10,200 But I do with healthy bodies It is the second day of quarantine, let's go 640 00:43:10,830 --> 00:43:13,540 I am Robert, like Julia Robert 641 00:43:13,910 --> 00:43:15,410 I am a positive person 642 00:43:15,500 --> 00:43:17,750 For whom do I stay at home? For myself 643 00:43:17,870 --> 00:43:20,950 Because I'm quarantined Under house arrest 644 00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:22,950 Two birds with one stone, let's go 645 00:43:23,450 --> 00:43:28,120 How's it going? I'm Molly Sorry, but (Molly) is right 646 00:43:28,330 --> 00:43:31,540 I will not get infected with Covid 19 Because I am 22 years old 647 00:43:31,700 --> 00:43:33,750 Free Michigan, let's go 648 00:43:36,290 --> 00:43:37,660 My muscles hurt now 649 00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:40,490 This epidemic has affected everyone 650 00:43:40,580 --> 00:43:42,450 The Coachella Festival has been canceled 651 00:43:42,540 --> 00:43:44,910 Complex has been canceled South Bay (Southwest) Annual 652 00:43:45,160 --> 00:43:47,200 Bill Cosby was canceled 653 00:43:47,330 --> 00:43:50,870 How dare you! We need doctors now Come on, with all your might 654 00:43:51,580 --> 00:43:53,120 Adhere to what you started with 655 00:43:53,790 --> 00:43:56,040 I will continue to follow the series (Ozark), let's go 656 00:43:56,330 --> 00:43:58,290 I am following a diet to get rid From toxins through juice now 657 00:43:58,410 --> 00:43:59,790 Chlorine juice 658 00:44:00,750 --> 00:44:02,120 You need clean food! 659 00:44:02,450 --> 00:44:06,330 This is a crossbow And I'll take it back a lot 660 00:44:07,500 --> 00:44:08,830 This painful 661 00:44:09,290 --> 00:44:12,490 My motto is eating, praying and praying 662 00:44:12,580 --> 00:44:15,410 That's right, I'm sexy and religious 663 00:44:15,500 --> 00:44:17,870 It's a trap, let's go 664 00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:22,700 Just being quarantined Not to say that we cannot communicate 665 00:44:22,950 --> 00:44:24,950 Meet and go to the beach 666 00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:26,450 Hugs and palpation 667 00:44:26,540 --> 00:44:29,620 And kiss an old man in his mouth In the mall, let's go 668 00:44:29,790 --> 00:44:35,370 I just responded to our positive behaviors and our bodies The beautiful one caused recovery from the Corona virus 669 00:44:36,080 --> 00:44:37,500 No, hey 670 00:44:38,120 --> 00:44:39,870 No, no, sorry 671 00:44:40,580 --> 00:44:43,330 (Roth Chris) Steak Restaurant Receive delivery requests now 672 00:44:43,830 --> 00:44:46,250 Soul Cycle Virtual Exercises 673 00:44:51,870 --> 00:44:55,830 Hello Twitter followers, this is me Lovable (America), or Jay Simpson 674 00:44:55,950 --> 00:44:58,950 I want to salute my friend (Lorne Michaels) 675 00:44:59,120 --> 00:45:03,450 And all of the SNL workers To bring them another episode from home 676 00:45:03,790 --> 00:45:06,080 I know you thought You’ll only have one episode 677 00:45:06,250 --> 00:45:08,450 Then you realized that you had to make another episode 678 00:45:08,790 --> 00:45:10,160 Trust me, I understand 679 00:45:10,290 --> 00:45:14,580 But I am glad you did Everyone needs to laugh these days 680 00:45:14,830 --> 00:45:17,330 We were very strict and paranoid 681 00:45:17,540 --> 00:45:21,910 Days ago, I took off my mantle In a grocery store for two seconds 682 00:45:22,200 --> 00:45:24,120 The reaction was as if I had killed anyone 683 00:45:24,250 --> 00:45:25,540 A woman shouted to me 684 00:45:25,660 --> 00:45:28,540 Nobody wants to see you here. "You shouldn't be outside 685 00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:33,200 And I understand her point of view, I mean I am at risk of contracting HIV at my age 686 00:45:33,450 --> 00:45:35,790 But she did not have to throw me coffee 687 00:45:36,450 --> 00:45:40,200 Sometimes people make me angry ... to the point where I am 688 00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:46,620 However, I am now adhering to all guidelines 689 00:45:46,750 --> 00:45:48,120 You shouldn't worry about me 690 00:45:48,410 --> 00:45:50,370 I have two gloves, that's right 691 00:45:50,750 --> 00:45:52,160 And I have a mask 692 00:45:52,950 --> 00:45:55,660 So don’t hate me, okay? 693 00:45:56,330 --> 00:45:57,790 You are a monster, O 694 00:45:58,080 --> 00:45:59,500 You know that, my friend 695 00:45:59,750 --> 00:46:02,200 He must have seen my leadership On 14th Street 696 00:46:02,660 --> 00:46:06,950 As I was saying, don't worry about me, all right? I will be fine 697 00:46:07,250 --> 00:46:11,330 Even if I was infected with Corona virus, I could Overcoming it, I can overcome anything 698 00:46:11,580 --> 00:46:13,950 Well, maybe I shouldn't exaggerate 699 00:46:14,290 --> 00:46:17,450 Given my misfortune I will get Corona and get it 700 00:46:17,660 --> 00:46:23,000 Then I will be eliminated later Another disease is less harmful unit 701 00:46:23,250 --> 00:46:26,540 It was me in the first place I was just getting it back 702 00:46:27,830 --> 00:46:32,410 Just thinking about illness ... make me so angry that I am 703 00:46:33,910 --> 00:46:36,490 But anyway Follow me through the application (Tik Tok) 704 00:46:36,750 --> 00:46:39,580 Yes, you will find fun clips for me And I'm having fun 705 00:46:40,160 --> 00:46:41,490 Well, I am free 706 00:46:41,750 --> 00:46:45,950 Lorne, attach my friend Trump, all right? He is a good man 707 00:46:46,250 --> 00:46:47,580 Not right? 708 00:46:50,040 --> 00:46:52,330 I will make a video call with my cousin quickly 709 00:46:52,450 --> 00:46:56,080 I have not seen her since we were young She wants to check on family members 710 00:46:56,200 --> 00:46:57,750 And you want to make sure everyone is okay 711 00:46:58,700 --> 00:47:00,830 Here it is - A call from my cousin, Mandy. 712 00:47:00,950 --> 00:47:02,620 Hello - Paul? 713 00:47:02,870 --> 00:47:04,250 Are you Polly the little? 714 00:47:04,410 --> 00:47:06,490 Mandy? Yes, Mandy. 715 00:47:06,870 --> 00:47:09,250 I'm pretty Mandy. We haven't met in a while - 716 00:47:09,950 --> 00:47:11,450 Yes 717 00:47:12,870 --> 00:47:16,700 So are you still swimming? 718 00:47:17,330 --> 00:47:19,830 Sometimes - I knew that - 719 00:47:19,950 --> 00:47:22,040 I knew you were still swimming, yeah 720 00:47:23,870 --> 00:47:25,950 Still coloring the coloring books? 721 00:47:26,160 --> 00:47:28,870 No, I do not do it recently 722 00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:30,620 It's okay 723 00:47:31,870 --> 00:47:33,950 ... are you okay, it looks like you 724 00:47:35,620 --> 00:47:37,490 I don’t know, forgive me for the question 725 00:47:38,040 --> 00:47:39,870 Are you infected with Corona virus? 726 00:47:40,330 --> 00:47:44,160 No Are you infected with Corona virus? 727 00:47:44,290 --> 00:47:45,870 How amazing! You look different 728 00:47:46,200 --> 00:47:49,490 You little, little Polly I have changed 729 00:47:49,580 --> 00:47:52,700 I think so, yes I have not seen you since I was seven 730 00:47:52,830 --> 00:47:55,540 I am mature now 731 00:47:56,410 --> 00:47:58,620 I have a wife and a demanding job 732 00:47:58,870 --> 00:48:00,540 This is not what I heard 733 00:48:01,160 --> 00:48:05,580 No, because my relative is David He said that all your work has stopped 734 00:48:05,700 --> 00:48:08,250 Yes, everyone's work has stopped one way or another 735 00:48:08,370 --> 00:48:15,200 No, I watched the movie in which I acted Wonder Woman with other celebrities 736 00:48:15,540 --> 00:48:20,370 They sang Imagine 737 00:48:20,620 --> 00:48:23,080 That was not a movie It's just a clip 738 00:48:23,200 --> 00:48:26,040 So, did you not become famous? Enough to participate in it? 739 00:48:26,830 --> 00:48:28,750 No, apparently not 740 00:48:28,870 --> 00:48:31,330 Listen, frankly, it's not so bad 741 00:48:31,450 --> 00:48:33,450 It feels good to take a short break 742 00:48:33,540 --> 00:48:36,250 I have prepared delicious summer salads 743 00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:40,290 Like Ratatouille. Yes - 744 00:48:40,580 --> 00:48:42,500 The movie was bad - Ratatouille? - 745 00:48:42,620 --> 00:48:44,540 It is a beautiful movie - Listen, talk about movies - 746 00:48:44,660 --> 00:48:48,410 You are not being nominated For the Golden Globe Award? 747 00:48:48,500 --> 00:48:50,410 Yes, I was nominated, it was very interesting 748 00:48:50,500 --> 00:48:54,160 Yes, but what is the person’s name Who was chosen to be the winner? 749 00:48:54,750 --> 00:48:56,870 Not my name - You are not chosen - 750 00:48:57,160 --> 00:49:02,000 They said the Golden Globe Award From Rami Yousef 751 00:49:02,120 --> 00:49:04,330 These things do not concern me much 752 00:49:04,450 --> 00:49:09,370 It will matter to you as soon as (Rami Youssef) becomes The hero of the new (Ant-Man) movie 753 00:49:09,620 --> 00:49:11,120 When wearing your suit 754 00:49:11,330 --> 00:49:15,700 Soon it will become Rami Yusuf Yusef, the new. 755 00:49:15,950 --> 00:49:19,000 You do not need to continue to mention Rami Youssef, I understand. 756 00:49:19,120 --> 00:49:21,700 what about you? Have you won any prizes recently? 757 00:49:22,370 --> 00:49:24,830 Last night, I won XO 758 00:49:24,950 --> 00:49:26,450 What do you mean by XO? 759 00:49:26,580 --> 00:49:29,950 An XO game where you should write Three consecutive (x) signs 760 00:49:30,080 --> 00:49:31,490 XO, I got it 761 00:49:31,580 --> 00:49:34,160 ... played in the pub and got 762 00:49:34,500 --> 00:49:38,490 I don't think you should go to bars - Nobody is infected with Corona virus in ZZ. 763 00:49:38,580 --> 00:49:40,950 I also wore my gloves 764 00:49:41,290 --> 00:49:44,580 These two gloveless fingers ... I don't know. Do you remember our kisses? - 765 00:49:44,700 --> 00:49:47,370 Listen, I think I'm going now - We have kissed - 766 00:49:47,490 --> 00:49:49,330 It was you who started - I was very pleased to speak to you - 767 00:49:49,450 --> 00:49:51,750 I'll hang up, hey - where is he? - 768 00:49:52,870 --> 00:49:54,250 I will call back 769 00:50:06,580 --> 00:50:10,450 In these times, criminal justice takes place " Via Zoom Program 770 00:50:12,540 --> 00:50:15,200 Hi all, I'm Detective Sims again 771 00:50:15,620 --> 00:50:18,620 We are not investigating a murder Usually this way 772 00:50:18,750 --> 00:50:22,040 But we have to adapt to the new normal Like everyone 773 00:50:22,370 --> 00:50:24,750 Yes of course - I am glad to help - 774 00:50:25,330 --> 00:50:30,200 Wow, you know, you are all suspects For your presence (Dirk Walker Simpson) on the pool 775 00:50:30,330 --> 00:50:34,700 On February 15, someone strangled him Bottom swimwear 776 00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:38,040 Sorry 777 00:50:40,290 --> 00:50:42,540 What a way to die! 778 00:50:43,080 --> 00:50:44,950 Well, we have progress on the case 779 00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:49,490 And I'll tell you as soon as Debbie Johnson joins us The last suspect 780 00:50:49,750 --> 00:50:53,950 I want to say I wasn't near Derek When he died, I was in the bathroom 781 00:50:54,160 --> 00:50:56,250 Shave pubic hair 782 00:50:56,410 --> 00:50:59,290 Well, we will defer the arguments of absence Until you reach Debbie 783 00:51:08,410 --> 00:51:10,120 That's nice 784 00:51:11,410 --> 00:51:12,870 Sorry, I will shut up 785 00:51:13,160 --> 00:51:16,370 No, it's nice. What is it? 786 00:51:17,080 --> 00:51:21,660 I was bouncing a song I composed I try not to forget the melody 787 00:51:21,910 --> 00:51:24,790 But it's good - Do you want to sing it to us? - 788 00:51:25,080 --> 00:51:27,200 What? - you can do it - 789 00:51:27,490 --> 00:51:28,910 I mean, we're waiting for Debbie 790 00:51:29,870 --> 00:51:35,040 Well, my first new song No pressure 791 00:51:35,830 --> 00:51:38,790 "You are the sun and I am the moon" 792 00:51:38,950 --> 00:51:42,410 "We are always busy with our jobs in heaven." 793 00:51:42,790 --> 00:51:47,000 Let us embrace and let love shave. 794 00:51:47,290 --> 00:51:52,410 Shave, shave 795 00:51:55,750 --> 00:52:00,830 Sorry, I didn't know that Lana Del Rey was A suspect in the murder of Dirk Walker Simpson 796 00:52:01,160 --> 00:52:03,080 That was amazing 797 00:52:03,250 --> 00:52:06,750 I compose songs too That's why I was curious to hear your song 798 00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:08,330 Oh really? - Yes - 799 00:52:08,450 --> 00:52:10,950 I was sure you were creative, Detective 800 00:52:11,290 --> 00:52:13,290 What class of music does she sing? 801 00:52:13,580 --> 00:52:17,750 Closer to the male rocker as in the past 802 00:52:18,620 --> 00:52:21,830 Like pickups and barbecues? - Yes - 803 00:52:22,120 --> 00:52:24,540 Women sit on hoods Etc. 804 00:52:24,910 --> 00:52:26,750 Do you want to hear it? - Excuse me - 805 00:52:26,870 --> 00:52:29,410 I wonder if there's any news about Debbie 806 00:52:29,500 --> 00:52:31,620 I sent her a note in an email She pressed the option to attend 807 00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:35,290 Sorry, I was thinking about our friend who was killed 808 00:52:35,410 --> 00:52:36,790 It's okay, to hear the song 809 00:52:36,910 --> 00:52:39,410 I can sing it, right? I mean, Debbie is not here 810 00:52:39,620 --> 00:52:42,200 Yes, come on, we heard it 811 00:52:42,660 --> 00:52:45,910 "Beef meat slice" "I am red and intent 812 00:52:46,040 --> 00:52:50,040 "And I will satiate you like a steak of intent" 813 00:52:50,160 --> 00:52:54,490 "Let me burn your grill like a steak of intent." 814 00:52:58,700 --> 00:53:00,580 "Intent steak" 815 00:53:00,830 --> 00:53:04,370 Sorry, for a moment I thought Detective Sims would sing 816 00:53:04,620 --> 00:53:06,660 I used to sing a song written by me It is called "steak of intent." 817 00:53:06,790 --> 00:53:09,750 But since you have come Let us return to the investigation of the murder 818 00:53:10,000 --> 00:53:14,580 Debbie Johnson, we have a video surveillance camera. Prove that you killed Mr. Walker Simpson 819 00:53:14,790 --> 00:53:17,490 Was the video good? - Not for you - 820 00:53:17,750 --> 00:53:20,290 Both - Well understood - 821 00:53:21,830 --> 00:53:24,370 I'm sorry, listen 822 00:53:24,620 --> 00:53:29,450 Dirk was not one of my favorite characters I had too much wine 823 00:53:30,200 --> 00:53:32,950 I killed him, I'm sorry 824 00:53:34,620 --> 00:53:37,200 Well, bye 825 00:53:39,410 --> 00:53:41,160 I think she is gone 826 00:53:41,290 --> 00:53:43,370 Most likely, we should go arrest her 827 00:53:44,040 --> 00:53:47,040 He wants to hear any of you more From the song "Intent Steak" before we left? 828 00:53:47,660 --> 00:53:50,870 Thank you all, bye - Bye, See you - 829 00:53:51,200 --> 00:53:52,830 How do I get out of here? - Stop the video? - 830 00:53:53,290 --> 00:53:56,250 I will start singing, steak intent - How do you reduce the sound? - 831 00:53:56,450 --> 00:54:00,290 I can still hear and see you, group 832 00:54:01,450 --> 00:54:04,830 "Blood comes down from her while she is in my mouth." 833 00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:08,290 "It comes down to my throat and makes me sing rock." 834 00:54:08,450 --> 00:54:10,290 "Disclosure" 835 00:54:14,910 --> 00:54:18,200 "We don't know how long this will last." 836 00:54:19,330 --> 00:54:22,450 "We don't know what the future will be." 837 00:54:23,500 --> 00:54:26,040 "But whatever happens next." 838 00:54:26,540 --> 00:54:28,540 We will support you. 839 00:54:29,160 --> 00:54:31,290 Because you supported us. 840 00:54:31,750 --> 00:54:35,500 "You may be isolated but not alone." 841 00:54:36,790 --> 00:54:38,950 "Because we are here" 842 00:54:39,750 --> 00:54:43,500 "We make these difficult times a little easier." 843 00:54:44,120 --> 00:54:46,330 And make things look normal. 844 00:54:47,040 --> 00:54:49,330 "If only it were accurate." 845 00:54:51,580 --> 00:54:53,490 Porn Movies Site 846 00:54:55,910 --> 00:54:57,580 We are here to support you. 847 00:54:59,370 --> 00:55:01,620 For as long as possible 848 00:55:02,580 --> 00:55:06,580 So, let's be alone together. 849 00:55:09,580 --> 00:55:11,830 "With porn movie site" 850 00:55:12,660 --> 00:55:14,580 "You're a disgrace, Professor." 851 00:55:14,950 --> 00:55:17,500 Hello my friend, how are you? 852 00:55:17,950 --> 00:55:19,660 You didn't see that, right? 853 00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:35,370 (Wickers WR) 854 00:55:36,500 --> 00:55:39,910 Cats, the cat is a smile with hair 855 00:55:40,200 --> 00:55:42,910 A cat is a friend who can't stand 856 00:55:43,040 --> 00:55:46,080 The cat is a shout housing partner everywhere 857 00:55:46,750 --> 00:55:51,080 Hello, it's Barbara Diderot The owner and owner of the Whiskers RW to save cats 858 00:55:51,290 --> 00:55:52,620 We now have a website 859 00:55:52,750 --> 00:55:56,160 Because when you are in quarantine Every day is Cat Day 860 00:55:58,250 --> 00:56:01,660 People are adopting cats at a very high rate From the start of the ban 861 00:56:01,870 --> 00:56:05,040 This means that the remaining cats are the worst 862 00:56:05,200 --> 00:56:07,160 Let's meet cats today 863 00:56:07,580 --> 00:56:10,790 This is Rex Rex, an ordinary alley cat. 864 00:56:10,990 --> 00:56:14,700 Because all he wants is rubbing his stomach 865 00:56:15,370 --> 00:56:18,580 This is Marbles Marbles constantly says she is on vacation 866 00:56:18,830 --> 00:56:22,000 But the only job she had She is licking her ass under the sun 867 00:56:22,290 --> 00:56:23,620 What a bitch! 868 00:56:23,750 --> 00:56:26,790 This cat is called Dr. Anthony Miao Chi 869 00:56:27,330 --> 00:56:31,580 Because of his curious nature And because I might fuck him without hesitation 870 00:56:31,750 --> 00:56:35,200 This cat is Coco And its color is brown (Havana) is rare 871 00:56:35,450 --> 00:56:39,830 But she shits a lot in her sandbox 872 00:56:40,540 --> 00:56:43,830 I know you hate this I know you didn't want to appear in the ad 873 00:56:43,990 --> 00:56:46,990 But I didn't get a small business loan And he got it (Shake Shack) 874 00:56:47,080 --> 00:56:50,120 So, please, try more, please 875 00:56:50,370 --> 00:56:55,080 This is a Brazilian short-haired cat This is ridiculous because her pubic hair is long 876 00:56:55,790 --> 00:56:59,250 I know we are in quarantine But respect yourself 877 00:56:59,410 --> 00:57:02,370 This cat is called Baxter He has a dirty secret 878 00:57:02,580 --> 00:57:06,660 He loves BDSM This means silly rat biting 879 00:57:07,750 --> 00:57:09,290 Are you even trying? 880 00:57:09,580 --> 00:57:12,830 You told me you wore college theater At New York University, but you can't act 881 00:57:13,540 --> 00:57:15,200 Absolutely 882 00:57:16,200 --> 00:57:17,910 Please, try more 883 00:57:18,200 --> 00:57:21,290 We call this cat Potts Because of the marks on her feet 884 00:57:21,450 --> 00:57:24,910 And because she likes to control She specializes in spit 885 00:57:25,120 --> 00:57:27,000 And the pointless love 886 00:57:27,580 --> 00:57:33,750 We are all depressed, but sometimes coming Doing what you can do is sufficient 887 00:57:34,410 --> 00:57:36,290 This is Justice Catino 888 00:57:36,750 --> 00:57:39,410 I don't want to start talking about how much he loves to drink beer 889 00:57:40,660 --> 00:57:42,750 He lost control 890 00:57:42,870 --> 00:57:44,750 This is Feline Una Abel 891 00:57:45,040 --> 00:57:46,990 She is waiting 10 years to release an album 892 00:57:47,120 --> 00:57:49,250 I mean stool album 893 00:57:50,080 --> 00:57:53,910 What do you mean, you think you are pregnant? How is that possible? 894 00:57:54,080 --> 00:57:57,410 Don't mention it during the announcement, please 895 00:57:57,750 --> 00:58:00,750 This (Alan) does not put the muzzle because of the virus 896 00:58:00,950 --> 00:58:03,370 Rather puts it because his teeth are ugly 897 00:58:03,620 --> 00:58:06,750 This cat is donated by the organs But according to the amount of alcohol you drink 898 00:58:07,200 --> 00:58:08,950 No one will want that liver 899 00:58:09,250 --> 00:58:12,700 What do you mean you don't want anyone to adopt you? Do you want to stay here with me? 900 00:58:13,040 --> 00:58:15,790 This was not part of the agreement I'm sorry 901 00:58:17,830 --> 00:58:20,330 Visit our website today 902 00:58:20,540 --> 00:58:22,250 We now connect to the sidewalks 903 00:58:22,410 --> 00:58:25,750 Order one cat We will leave 10 or 15 cats on your balcony 904 00:58:25,910 --> 00:58:28,160 Except for this maybe 905 00:58:29,080 --> 00:58:32,290 (Wickers WR) 906 00:58:34,580 --> 00:58:36,120 I would like another drink 907 00:58:36,250 --> 00:58:37,700 Yes, me too, to have a drink 908 00:58:37,870 --> 00:58:39,910 Be yourself This is how I always felt 909 00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:42,080 I like to come sometimes I would like to prepare food for you 910 00:58:42,370 --> 00:58:44,200 "There is someone inside" - Okay - 911 00:58:48,620 --> 00:58:50,620 Hi man - Hello - 912 00:58:50,750 --> 00:58:53,450 Yeah, no, Curry, I'll let you know Rob 913 00:58:53,950 --> 00:58:55,250 What news, man? 914 00:58:55,540 --> 00:58:59,290 Hello man, not much 915 00:58:59,950 --> 00:59:02,330 Slow down, don't you remember me? 916 00:59:03,870 --> 00:59:06,450 We met several times - No, I know - 917 00:59:07,040 --> 00:59:09,080 How are you doing? 918 00:59:09,290 --> 00:59:11,750 You don't really recognize me - Yes - 919 00:59:12,580 --> 00:59:14,290 what is my name? 920 00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:16,950 What? - ...What - 921 00:59:17,200 --> 00:59:19,450 My name? 922 00:59:25,410 --> 00:59:30,700 "It didn't happen to me." 923 00:59:30,950 --> 00:59:34,200 "Presumably a friendly party." 924 00:59:34,410 --> 00:59:38,160 "I am now forced to search my mind." 925 00:59:39,160 --> 00:59:42,040 "I was not asked to say his name." 926 00:59:44,660 --> 00:59:47,910 "How bold and confident he is." 927 00:59:48,040 --> 00:59:51,450 "You can't have a friend like this." 928 00:59:52,160 --> 00:59:55,330 "I look at him for a tip" 929 00:59:55,540 --> 00:59:59,200 "Maybe he will introduce himself to me again." 930 00:59:59,830 --> 01:00:03,200 But he's not that guy. " Rather, he wants to teach me a lesson 931 01:00:03,660 --> 01:00:07,410 "It is funny to make me feel of what I am" - "My little one" - 932 01:00:07,540 --> 01:00:10,910 "He really thinks he made a big impression" 933 01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:14,370 And that everyone knows his face 934 01:00:14,830 --> 01:00:16,790 "Yes, put me in an embarrassing situation." 935 01:00:17,080 --> 01:00:20,250 "She puts me in an embarrassing situation and this is repugnant." "This is reprehensible." 936 01:00:20,450 --> 01:00:22,790 "I don't think you did." 937 01:00:22,910 --> 01:00:24,660 "Put me in an embarrassing situation" 938 01:00:24,790 --> 01:00:28,000 "Put me in an embarrassing situation, and that's a strange feeling" 939 01:00:28,160 --> 01:00:30,410 "A strange feeling that you did it" 940 01:00:30,540 --> 01:00:34,660 I do not know his name" But it is too late to confess 941 01:00:35,250 --> 01:00:38,160 I guess I have to guess. 942 01:00:39,790 --> 01:00:41,080 ...Is your name 943 01:00:41,910 --> 01:00:43,790 Tommy? What? - 944 01:00:44,120 --> 01:00:45,450 Tommy? 945 01:00:48,750 --> 01:00:50,040 Yes, I was shot 946 01:00:50,830 --> 01:00:54,410 "Yes, I can't believe I was right guessing." - "Yes" - 947 01:00:54,660 --> 01:00:57,620 I was shot - "We will have a good time tonight" - 948 01:00:58,450 --> 01:01:04,160 Now my only problem is " "I started to disappear 949 01:01:04,290 --> 01:01:08,250 Listen, it seems like you're starting to fade. 950 01:01:08,580 --> 01:01:13,410 Yes, this ... is not what I expected to end with This concert 951 01:01:13,790 --> 01:01:15,370 Can you tell Katie That I had a great time? 952 01:01:15,700 --> 01:01:19,790 Yes, no problem with that - I hope he doesn't forget to tell Kitty. 953 01:01:24,120 --> 01:01:26,450 "Melissa 'appointment is important." "Wow, I had a great time." - 954 01:01:27,500 --> 01:01:30,160 Well, it's late 955 01:01:31,040 --> 01:01:32,370 good night 956 01:01:33,370 --> 01:01:36,790 Unless you want to enter a little 957 01:01:38,660 --> 01:01:39,990 You want? 958 01:01:40,330 --> 01:01:41,660 Gorgeous 959 01:01:42,700 --> 01:01:44,080 Way forward 960 01:01:51,700 --> 01:01:53,000 can I get you anything else? 961 01:01:54,830 --> 01:01:56,790 Sorry, I don't have a cigar 962 01:01:57,120 --> 01:01:59,000 I will add it to the shopping list 963 01:02:00,500 --> 01:02:01,830 Do you like movies? 964 01:02:01,950 --> 01:02:05,500 Me too, okay Mention your favorite movie when I return to 3 965 01:02:05,620 --> 01:02:08,200 ready? 1, 2, 3 966 01:02:08,500 --> 01:02:09,830 (Flaubert) 967 01:02:10,580 --> 01:02:14,000 I would have said (American History X) I swear to you 968 01:02:17,910 --> 01:02:19,700 why are you looking at me like that? 969 01:02:22,120 --> 01:02:24,700 I look at you only because you look at me 970 01:02:26,950 --> 01:02:31,080 Stop, I'm not the most beautiful girl (in the United States 971 01:02:33,750 --> 01:02:36,040 Well, I guess I am 972 01:02:45,990 --> 01:02:47,620 Your tongue is small 973 01:02:59,950 --> 01:03:01,250 What? 974 01:03:01,500 --> 01:03:03,580 Your scars do not bother me 975 01:03:04,540 --> 01:03:07,870 I think it is wonderful that a wolf attacked you 976 01:03:09,700 --> 01:03:14,000 Wait, before we move any further There is something you should know 977 01:03:15,830 --> 01:03:17,700 You don't have to be gentle with me 978 01:03:30,990 --> 01:03:33,250 Good morning, long handsome 979 01:03:34,990 --> 01:03:37,080 Last night was crazy 980 01:03:37,250 --> 01:03:39,290 I'm back right away, don't leave your place 981 01:03:50,290 --> 01:03:51,910 What is that? 982 01:03:52,990 --> 01:03:54,950 Did you pay my toilet? 983 01:03:56,040 --> 01:03:59,000 Gosh! Get out of my house, weirdo 984 01:04:00,790 --> 01:04:04,410 And cut your toenails, my legs have wounds 985 01:04:10,290 --> 01:04:13,700 Mehlis, how skillful you are to choose them! 986 01:04:14,830 --> 01:04:16,120 "The end" 987 01:04:30,200 --> 01:04:33,580 I recently found a bunch of my journal Old real 988 01:04:33,700 --> 01:04:38,040 It is a good window into our past So I thought to see what was inside 989 01:04:38,500 --> 01:04:40,580 Eddy's real journals. 990 01:04:40,750 --> 01:04:44,580 The first is my real diary I am in the second grade 991 01:04:44,700 --> 01:04:47,450 I hope you "get my new school" 992 01:04:47,580 --> 01:04:49,040 With a sad face and tears 993 01:04:50,120 --> 01:04:54,620 This is a traditional idiot trying to express her feeling And worried about itself 994 01:04:54,750 --> 01:04:57,910 But she is also unable to write or read 995 01:04:58,660 --> 01:05:00,830 Let's see, what else is here? 996 01:05:04,660 --> 01:05:05,990 Look at this 997 01:05:06,080 --> 01:05:08,660 It looks like shit flying over the ocean 998 01:05:11,000 --> 01:05:14,160 This is a cover of the nineties It has pictures of iguana 999 01:05:14,290 --> 01:05:18,950 There is a key chain with a cool nail file Fast to use connected to it 1000 01:05:19,040 --> 01:05:21,700 In case I wanted to be wonderful I drive the car 1001 01:05:21,830 --> 01:05:24,330 This is always the case, of course 1002 01:05:25,700 --> 01:05:28,450 Throughout history Many journalists have become 1003 01:05:28,580 --> 01:05:31,990 A record of time and tribulation 1004 01:05:32,080 --> 01:05:37,200 What are these notes? What is this diary? There is always a list of great things 1005 01:05:37,330 --> 01:05:39,700 "cool stuff" - Things like Tamagotchi games. 1006 01:05:39,830 --> 01:05:42,950 Kuchling's dolls, televisions. 1007 01:05:43,330 --> 01:05:45,450 "Longing, or shopping, rather." 1008 01:05:45,580 --> 01:05:49,450 Thus, there is an emphasis on being consumed 1009 01:05:49,580 --> 01:05:53,700 But there is also Rosie O'Donnell Which page was allocated alone 1010 01:05:53,830 --> 01:05:56,000 She wrote that she is my idol in the summer 1011 01:05:56,120 --> 01:05:59,410 And at the bottom of the page I made sure that if there were any questions 1012 01:05:59,830 --> 01:06:02,500 To answer her with, "Okay 1013 01:06:03,950 --> 01:06:05,250 School, my birthday, boys 1014 01:06:05,370 --> 01:06:07,120 At this point, I was 9 years old 1015 01:06:07,250 --> 01:06:10,660 What do girls like 9 years old love? Horses 1016 01:06:10,790 --> 01:06:14,830 No, the pop stars No, the answer is turtles 1017 01:06:14,950 --> 01:06:18,160 Okay? And I used to love turtles very much 1018 01:06:18,290 --> 01:06:20,990 But not enough to learn How to write a word 1019 01:06:21,080 --> 01:06:23,500 So I was writing a lot 1020 01:06:23,620 --> 01:06:28,120 Sahfal, Slafih, Falahs, Sahaliev 1021 01:06:28,250 --> 01:06:30,870 But at the bottom of the page here I wrote an important note 1022 01:06:30,990 --> 01:06:33,750 It is written in a speech bubble Not issued by anyone 1023 01:06:33,870 --> 01:06:35,290 "But I will not eat it." 1024 01:06:35,410 --> 01:06:38,370 So do not think that I would have eaten a turtle 1025 01:06:38,500 --> 01:06:40,450 I still write a lot 1026 01:06:40,580 --> 01:06:45,990 From the age of 14 to 28 They all talk about how excited and sad I am 1027 01:06:46,450 --> 01:06:49,910 When will we be able to leave our homes? 1028 01:06:50,200 --> 01:06:52,620 I cannot continue seeing the past 1029 01:06:52,750 --> 01:06:55,870 And I have nothing inside of this He talks about the future 1030 01:06:56,290 --> 01:06:58,660 I'm not so good - Help me, help me. "- 1031 01:06:58,790 --> 01:07:00,580 Help me, help me! 1032 01:07:00,750 --> 01:07:03,700 I am fine and I hope to see you soon 1033 01:07:04,700 --> 01:07:09,700 Check out and edit  x7aMaD 1034 01:07:18,160 --> 01:07:21,160 Translated by Captivate Arabia "Ammaan Jordan 86473

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