All language subtitles for Are.You.Here.2013.PROPER.720p.BluRay.x264-TRiPS-HI

[POURING LIQUID]

And honestly...

I wake up happy.

I mean, I'm that guy.

I've got enough of everything I need.

I'm single, I like a party,

and I'm old enough to enjoy it.

Young enough to enjoy it.

I want to do something, and I do it.

[WAITER] There seems to
be a little problem.

Oh. Must be the magnetic stripe.

And the weird thing is

I know it's all a cliché.

No strings, no obligations,

but what's the alternative?

Get into some life, wife, kids,

some kind of car with too many seats?

That's a world where you
have to do whatever it is

other people want you
to do to keep it going.

It's prostitution
when you think about it.

But there is a nagging feeling
that I'm missing something.

Sorry, I don't know
what the problem is.

No, it's not your fault.

That should do it.

And maybe in the end,
I'm worrying for nothing.

I mean, I'm not at
this stage of my life

where I have to worry
about most of this stuff.

Maybe I never will.

I must sound pretty selfish.

Or just drunk.

This is no good either.

You're kidding.

Are you serious?

Whoa. Come on, wait.

You know I have money.

I just don't have any on me...

or on my credit cards,

but I get paid all the time,
and a lot.

Maybe next time.

Car fare?

And by the way...

as someone whose life
really is prostitution,

I can tell you that until you're
actually fucking for a living,

you shouldn't be complaining.

Wait a minute.
That's not what I meant.

Thanks for the drink.

Call Beverly if you want
to make it up to me.

[PHONE BUZZING]

Good evening.

Oh, shit.

Hello?

Hey. Ah, Jesus!

[MAN]
You have the right to remain silent.

Oh, wait. Stop.

Ow!

[MAN] Don't test me!

Stop!

I warn you, I am a yellow belt.

[SHOUTING]

Stop.

Stop!

Stop! Relax!

It's me!

Jesus!

What is wrong with you?

I heard a noise.

Ah...

Turn right... I heard a noise.

Everything is cool.

There's nobody there.

I swear.

[CRYING]

It's all right.

[NARRATOR]
Five-four-three-two-one-zero.

Ignition. Lift-off.

I guess that's really what I've
been trying to write about.

I mean, who are we trying to fool?

We're not only animals,
we're the worst animals there are.

Why do we eat meat?

The Greek gods dined
on ambrosia and nectar,

but we need to incorporate
other species into us.

Look at Christianity.

"This is my body. This is my blood."

That's why I'm doing this chapter
about the genocide in Rwanda.

The Tutsis were vegetarians,

and the Hutus were ranchers,
who eat meat,

and they regarded the Tutsis
as monkeys, as animals,

and that's why they had no trouble
killing them. Don't you think?

Honestly, Ben, I don't know why

the farmer and the cowhand
can't be friends.

But I do know that part of the reason

why some people regard
other people as animals

is because they don't observe
the social conventions

most of us take for granted.

Every human function
is disgusting in our society.

I side with the public on this one.

I know what I am...

and that's an animal.

I'm human, but animal.

You're wasting a lot of
thought on something

that's not going
to get you high or laid.

I always say, "If it ain't
broke, don't fix it."

Well, you're very wise.

And broke.

That is so uncool.

Can't I just take some money back?

I get paid very soon, and when I do,

I'm going to float you another loan.

Until then, I'd like to
borrow back what I lent you.

Why do you need to leave?

You just going to go out there
and be part of the machine?

Hey, that machine is what
keeps you in all this.

Now you know there's no one
out there today, right?

Yeah.

So just hold it together
and do whatever it is you do.

I'm writing a book.

What is it that you do?

Fuck it. I'm going to
get the didgeridoo.

Please, didgeri-don't.

Forgot my ID.

I wish I could say
you look trustworthy.

Buenos dias.

[WOMAN] Hey, Steve.

There she is.

Miss Weather Center
two years in a row.

Pretty much the usual.

There's this pocket
of cold air coming in,

but you'll see it on the composite.

I'm going to talk to Dave about
putting a real window in here

so we can see if any
of this stuff is right.

- It's right.
- Want one?

They're poison.

But there's two of them.

Got him.

God, you cut it so close.

Thrilling, isn't it?

Nice to see you, Mr. Dallas.

Victoria, looking lovely
and authoritative.

Kyle, you want to blow your nose

and avoid a repeat of yesterday?

You said it wasn't a big deal.

I say a lot of things,

like did I mention Steve,
glad you could make it?

Can I get some water?

And is there any way to turn
these lights down a little?

[MAN] Five seconds.

Four, three...

[ANNOUNCER] It's the Channel
18 Eyewitness Newsteam.

News at Noon, Chesapeake Edition

with Kyle Robertson at sports.

Do the Ravens finally have a kicker?

Steve Dallas in the Weather Center.

Beauty of a day out there,

and I'm going to tell
you all about it.

And now, Victoria Riolobos

with the news.

Good afternoon.

Tragedy struck this morning
as a Truxton man

backed his late-model SUV

into a daycare center.

One youngster remains
in critical condition

after being struck
by shrapnel-like debris

during the collision, but luckily,

the rest emerged scathed only by...

Do you think the graphic
is in bad taste?

I don't know.

Kind of captures the mood.

She's really solid.

...Identified the driver
under investigation.

And he's really high.

You know, Stu?

You don't just go spreading
rumors about people like that.

The man is a working professional.

Lots of people have squinty red eyes,

insatiable thirst,
and trouble walking.

He could be diabetic or something.

You're right. I'm sorry.

The bearded and bespectacled doctor

murdered at least 26 patients,

making him one of the
world's most prolific killers.

So Steve, how's it
looking out there today?

It's about time we saw
some of this warmer weather.

Well, Victoria,
let's get things started

with a little shot of the harbor

and some seagulls
enjoying the sunshine.

How you doing there, fellas?

Today's high will get up
to about 65 degrees

with unlimited visibility

which means if we could get this
Knucklehead out of the way,

you could see clear
down to Ocean City.

Coldest spot in the nation?

Why, that honor goes to...

Bismarck.

Smooth as silk.

That seem to you
like someone on drugs?

...and at 100% humidity
and 89 degrees

little Hilo, Hawaii
is both the hottest

and wettest spot in the nation.

I guess that makes it
the number one destination

for teenage boys, eh, Victoria?

I guess so, Steve.

So I know I don't have to tell you

that showing up with
enough time for us to know

that you're going to be here,
and in condition to work

is 90 percent of it.

And why the fuck
are you paying attention

to your computer?

Are you ever going to friend me?

You think you're irreplaceable?

You have this job because you're
handsome and you can talk.

And people trust me.

No one trusts you.

You think you're going to move
to a bigger market?

Not with that nose.

You know, I could just
as easily demean your job

if I had any idea what it entailed,

and honestly, I kind of resent you

making this so awkward for me.

What are you talking about?

Well, I need a little money
till the end of the month.

It's the sixth.

Look, I didn't say give it to me.

It's just an advance.

You know what the good thing is?

I know you can't go on
like this forever.

Guys like you count on that,

but what if you're wrong?

[ALARM SOUNDS]

Fire drill?

I really doubt that.

[BANGING, SHOUTING]

I just want to see my friend.

Step away from the door, sir.

I'm only going to ask you once.

(BEN) You'll break the door.

Fucking local ditwad...

Wait a second. I know that guy.

- You what?
- I said I know that guy.

- Everybody calm down.
- I have a yellow belt!

Jesus, Ben. Let her go.

Told you I just wanted
to see my friend.

I'll... I'll pay for the plant.

[ALARM STOPS]

My dad died.

Don't you...

No, no, no!

[SHOUTING]

And could I get some Visine please?

Great.

I mean, would you like your
kitty cat to be used as bait?

You have three-and-a-half
pounds of crayfish.

I need three-and-a-half
pounds of crayfish.

What the hell is going on?

I was telling him
they're too little to eat,

and we have a strict
no return policy.

What difference does it
make what I want them for?

These are the babies of a species.

We judge a culture on how
it treats its children, right?

They were hatched one day and
raised to be murdered the next.

We're talking about one of the most
sophisticated nervous systems in the world.

It's like us, the dolphins,

then them.

A hundred bucks.

You know, anyone
who is going fishing today

has probably come and gone.

How about a markdown?

I don't give a shit.

I'm not arguing with the
spirit of Operation Crayfish.

I'm just saying it was overfunded.

(BEN) It's really beautiful.

I forgot, you know.
It's been so long.

(STEVE) Yeah, I haven't been
back since my parents died.

Your parents aren't dead.

Well, you know, since they moved.

Because we've been circling
our destination for...

three hours now,

and my feeling is
we should get dressed

and rock this funeral.

[SIGHS]

I think I'm ready.

[BOTH GAG]

Goddamn.

Shit!

I still say it's better
than ending up as bait.

They mate for life, you know.

Not those.

Uh-oh, look. He blew a foot.

Can you imagine if you had to shoot
your car every time you got a flat?

Those people understand the land,

and they live by it.

I don't feel so good.

[MINISTER] Although Sam Baker
was not a religious man,

he found comfort and joy in his
children, Teresa and Benjamin,

and his lovely wife, Angela.

Now reading from the Old Testament.

The Song of Solomon.

"Arise my love, my fair one.

Look at her, the slutty,
wicked stepmother.

She wants it all to herself.

[MINISTER] "...the flowers
appear on the earth."

[WOMAN] You can practically
see through that dress.

I don't think so.

[MINISTER] "...is heard in our land."

[ALL SING "SHALL WE
GATHER AT THE RIVER"]

[HYMN CONTINUES]

I'm sorry.

We got a late start.

It's okay.

It doesn't matter. You're here.

I just wish I could see him.

I just wish he could see that beard.

Your coat smells weird.

[ENGINE STARTS]

I'm just saying...

I think we sort of have to step
up into the role of adults now

and decide what's going to
happen with the estate.

I have some ideas,

some of which I actually
ran past Dad,

so I know he wasn't opposed,

about basically dealing
with the store.

How are the ribs?

They're good.

They're small, so they're
either really cheap

or off a really, really young pig.

Well, steak's... Steak's pretty good.

I'll tell you what looks good is...

what do we got here, Ben?

Some deep-fried onions

dipped in Ranch.

Bet it tastes like springtime.

Boy, that vegetarian lifestyle
takes a lot of discipline.

And the farm.

There's just that cruddy house,

but we're talking about
almost 150 acres of land.

I don't think we should be
talking about this right now.

Jesus, Steve, eat your fucking ribs.

Are you sure nobody wants any wine?

I got the best one on the laminate.

What are you even doing here?

I'm his ride.

Look, Ben, I wanted to
discuss this just as family,

without her, and certainly
without your ride.

I don't think that you're suited
to deal with any of this stuff.

And I don't mean that as an insult.

I just know that you've been
happy with your life as it is.

And when you consider what the
property is actually worth...

It's so weird to be home

and to think that he's not here,

how we just put him
in a hole in the ground.

You know, Terri, maybe...

maybe now really isn't the best time.

I'm just saying you can just sit
back and I'll take care of you.

And I'll take care of this.

To taking care of things.

You can stay a night.

You said that guy with the
mustache will cover for you.

Delia? Yeah, she'll do.

She's a good
emergency measure, but...

but what am I doing here?

I mean, don't you want me to go
home and water the plant at least?

I just want all this to go away.

Look, man, you're going
to have to face it.

Your sister is still
a total buzzkill.

So you'll stay?
I've got a sleeping bag.

I could be persuaded.

What's that, Obi-wan?

You want me to stay, too.

You got my fucking skates, Ben.

[SHORES]

[LAUGHS]

Hey...

I just wanted to say...

sorry for your loss.

Well, that's life, isn't it?

We're like waves in the ocean.

We roll in...

we have our existence,
we break on the shore.

Hmm, what a beautiful and
nautical way to think of things.

Now you might want
to shut that window.

We're expecting some showers
coming in from the coast.

I doubt it. Hasn't
rained here in a while.

Well, you're the weather man.

Look, I don't know if I'm going to
be staying in the house much longer,

so if you wouldn't mind,
I'd like to be by myself.

Well, if you're interested
in leaving right now,

I can get you on
the next scheduled flight.

Thanks, but uh...

I try to avoid things
that keep me from feeling.

[DOOR BANGS]

Shhh!

"Whatever remains of me
is hopefully not limited

"to my estate,

"my belongings.

"Know that what I leave you
is in no way

"a measure of my feelings.

"Angela, you are the executor
with all that entails.

"From the first time
I saw you in my store,

"leading that field trip
of very special young students,

"I knew the power of your soul

"to heal others was surely
from another place.

"I would have left
the planet long ago

"if not for making love to you,

"the kindness of your curves,

"your moistness in the morning,

"my ringers gently..."

Oh, come on.

Yeah. Wow.

- Again, what are you doing here?
- He's with me.

- I'll leave.
- You got to bring him.

He's my husband.

Please, can we stop
all this bickering?

A man died here, a very rich man.

That's okay, Mr. Stevens.

I'll read that part later.

All right.

"To Angela...

"according to her wishes,

"I leave the stars in the sky
that we shared together.

"I would give them to her,

"but no one owns them."

- Is that it?
- No, there's a bunch more sex stuff here.

Oh, good.

Okay...

"To Terri, my beloved daughter,

"I leave the lump sum of $100,000

"and $250,000 in double A bonds

"to do with as she wishes,

"hopefully for the education
of her children

"should she have any."

Had to get that in there.

"To my only son Ben,

"I'm assuming that you're here,

"I leave my house, my business,

"and the remainder of the estate,

"with the hope that
he get his shit together."

- What?
- You got to be kidding me.

That would include the
farmhouse and it's 144 acres,

the grocery store and its
underlying property on Main Street,

that's the whole block,

and the rest of his assets

which totals
close to 2.5 million dollars.

Oh, my God.

I need some air.

- This is total bullshit.
- Jesus, Terri.

Was even competent
when he wrote this?

Your father was quite lucid.

I'm sorry. My suit
was really itchy, I...

So I'm not mentioned in there at all?

It's a lot of money.

2.5 million dollars?

It's more than a lot of money.

No, honey. I meant the 350 for us.

It is. Why aren't you happy?

You told me you thought she
was going to get everything.

She's up to something. Believe me.

Like she boned a 77-year-old man

for five years for nothing.

But the will said
this is what she wanted.

Why does she hate me so much?

(STEVE) It's really amazing.

I mean, it's all here,
pretty much as simple

as filling out some
change of address stuff.

What's the deal?

You overdo it on the celebrating?

Because I just started.

- I don't know.
- You don't know what?

This is what we've been
working for your whole life,

to inherit this money.

You know what we should do?

Order pizza.

Call those assholes up
at Massata's and say,

"Guess what? You have to deliver

"all the way out to the Baker farm."

Pay them $1000
if that's what they want.

"Get in that Tercel

"and get that pizza
out here now, fuckers."

And they'll do it.

I'm not hungry.

It hurts my head,
all these facts and figures.

What are you talking about? You're
four credits shy of being an MBA.

I'm not a businessman.
I hate businessmen.

If Jerry Garcia hadn't lured you away

you would have been
a great businessman.

Who knew there was so much
money in a country store?

I don't want money.

You don't have to put such a
shitty spin on everything.

Maybe this is your
father's way of giving you

a chance to be what you
always wanted to be.

This is my father reaching from
beyond the grave to control me.

The whole thing just insinuates
that I'm crazy,

that there's something wrong
with the way that I live,

but I'm fine. Everything's fine.

I'm supporting you.
Of course everything's fine.

Look, I'm the last person
that should be saying this,

but what about me?

How's that?

- What's the difference?
- I don't like hurting you.

Well, I don't like that making a
baby feels like chemotherapy.

Look, honey, your dad just died.

And I'm shooting you
full of hormones.

If that doesn't make you crazy...

Are we going to do this?

You still look beautiful.

Thank you.

Sorry!

I'll be out in a minute.

So you're really leaving?

What are you going to do now?

Some friends of mine have a farm
in upstate New York.

Maybe I'll go hang out
with them for a while.

Just growing incense
and making your own clothes?

Not that you need any.

No, actually, I have a degree.

I'll probably go back
to teaching special ed.

You got to look out for
Number One, I guess.

You are so lovely.

What's your point?

It's just I knew the first Mrs. Baker

and she wasn't even
remotely in your league.

I mean, ever.

Are you stoned?

Sure, I'm the weird one.

You had sex with a 900-year-old man.

That barrel chest, those toenails.

It probably sounds like a big joke,

since that's what love always
sounds like to people like you,

But Sam took pleasure
in everything in his life

that was real, his food, his farm,

his business, and yes, his wife.

So when you were a little girl and
you imagined being with somebody,

that was it?

I can't believe you.

Sam needed me.

And he deserved me because
he was wonderful to me.

You forget you're talking
about someone I knew

longer than you actually.

He stopped talking to his son.

Ben stopped talking to him...

and it broke his heart.

Okay, well, maybe you'd better
run along and get high,

so at least one of us can forget

we had this conversation.

[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS]

[BANG]

[WOMAN]
Honey, what are you doing out there?

Just trying to keep these
toys from killing the lawn.

I'll be up in a minute.

[WOMAN]
Is something burning? I smell smoke.

- Morning.
- Morning.

I could make you
some eggs if you want.

Wait, now, are they the kind
with blood spots in them?

They're eggs from chickens
who walk around.

So they do have blood spots in them.

Okay, everybody,
are you sitting down?

Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit.

I had a... sit!

I had an incredible night.

And I swear to God
it was a visitation,

and Dallas, I can't thank you enough.

Are you okay?

I am beyond okay.

I'm past okay.

I'm not even looking back
at it anymore.

Steve was right. This is my chance.

Of course I can't do it alone,
but I was thinking

about taking the money
from the grocery store

and creating an institute
where people can come and study

how to regain man's balance
with nature.

Horticulture, agriculture,
aquaculture.

Angela, you know
about all of this shit,

and you can give lessons on
cleaning and all that woman stuff,

and Steve, if we're going
to have a society,

we're going to need a TV station.

You could have the whole station.

That sounds great.

You look like you haven't slept much.

Why don't you sit down and
we'll have some breakfast

and talk about the plan.

You understand I'm talking about
fundamental changes to society.

- Mm-hmm.
- I'm not hungry.

I have a mission statement to write.

Is it... always like that?

He usually doesn't make
that much sense.

I'll be right back.

Hey, genius at work.

I'm modeling it
on Plato's School of Athens

only not the Socratic method.
It's more like Buddha.

You can relax. I can see what's
going on in your face right now.

It's one tenth of what's
going on in my mind.

You told me that my father
had a plan for me,

to do what I wanted,
and this is what I want,

and I'm not leaving you behind.

The TV station thing was
just off the top of my head.

I want you to know that I'm grateful,

and the way that I figure it,

there's enough for me
to keep the grocery store,

and for you to have the farm

and the house.

And it's not a gift.

You've earned it.

Suddenly the plan seems
more appealing.

But I don't think you're...
you seem a little...

The journey to enlightenment
is stressful.

No, it's not enlightened.

Great, Mom's home.

Why are you still here?

Why are you so angry?

This was my mother's.

I need you to mellow out.

I need to keep my wits about me.

- I'm going to get this all down.
- Please, you're out of control.

- Let's take the edge off.
- Great...

- This is my wedding all over again.
- What are you doing?

This is important shit. This is
a chance to right your life.

Drugs are not the answer.

That's what I've been saying.

Thank God you're here,
cuz I can't do it all alone.

Jesus, get out and go away.
I need to talk to my brother.

- He doesn't want to talk.
- Yes I do. I have a plan.

- I'm going to start...
- You don't have to tell her your plan.

Steve, I would prefer
to forgo your input

and that most recently resulted
in my brother becoming fat,

unemployed, and growing
that superbly antisocial beard.

- Do not talk to him like that.
- No, it's okay.

You know what, Terri? I am
going to get out of your way,

you can direct that rage
where it really belongs,

at your grieving family.

He doesn't understand
what's going on.

The decisions that you make now

could secure a real future.

You don't think I know that?

I'm sorry. I guess I just
got blindsided yesterday.

It blew me away, too. I didn't want
the headache, but then I thought

all of this is part
of something amazing.

Life stuff, renewal, rebuilding.

Yes, exactly.

I mean, this chrysalis has served us

as we developed from pupae to adult,

and now it has to be shed and eaten.

What are we talking about?

I really want to utilize this capital

to right some major wrongs,

educate some mysteries,
set some ideas free.

Well, why don't I find a way
to manage my finances

so I can support you in eight months

after you've pissed away what
it took Dad a lifetime to make.

I hear where you're coming from,

but it's just money. It doesn't
mean Dad loved me more than you.

What?

It doesn't mean Dad
loved me more than you.

He didn't... love you more.

You were the squeaky wheel,
so you got all the oil.

And if I were you,

I wouldn't rush off to go
change the world quite yet.

Hello...

Anybody?

I'm going to go now.

Ben?

Ben?

Yeah, I'm up here.

Look at you.

- Master of all that you survey.
- Yeah.

You know, I wouldn't go if I
didn't have this job thing.

I'll be back out next
weekend, I promise.

Plus, you can always call.

Oh, I'll call. I'll call as soon as
I get that big fat check for you.

Hey, you know, I didn't think you
were really going to do that.

Hey, buddy?

I love you.

Take a shower, okay?

Wait, so you're just going to leave?

Yeah, I got to get going.

It was really great to see you,
and thanks for the pie.

That was for dinner.

I'll be eating dinner.

No, for everyone.

You're not as giving
as I thought you were.

I don't want the pie back. I just...

Well, I guess you know Ben
better than I do.

Is he going to be
okay here by himself?

By himself?

What, now you're going to leave?

- I mean, with that poor kid up there?
- So he's not okay.

He's right as rain.

I mean, his father just died,

he's got a drug problem,

probably some kind of
manic-depressive disorder,

and honestly, he wasn't that well
screwed together to begin with,

but he's an adult,
and I have to go back

to do the 4:30 weather.

And although
you're under no obligation

would it be so bad to take
another two or three weeks

before you do whatever
bullshit you have to do?

You mean teaching disabled kids?

Oh, now they're disabled.

Do you have any actual plans?

- I guess I could take my time moving out.
- Great.

You get a week,

and I'm not adopting him.

Perfect. I'm going
to leave you my number...

in case you have to get in touch.

Because, you know, I'm on TV.

Yeah, actually Sam
bragged about you once.

I think he liked you, but he
couldn't really express it.

Yeah, it always came out
as "moron-troublemaker."

He hated the Irish, too.

People forget that.

Okay, now will you let me know
if I run over a chicken,

'cause the pie
is all I can eat right now.

How long does he stay up there?

Let me know.

- Hey.
- Hey.

How are you holding up?

[SIGHS] I don't know.

It's all temporary, right?

Angela, you knew when you decided

to get involved with
a man so much older

it wasn't for life.

You are so sentimental.

Okay, all's I'm saying

is that you had that experience.

Now don't be afraid
to be with a man your age.

You got a whole time ahead.

Ben asked me to put these up.

I have some. They upset people.

Hey, Mom. Sam Stallsworth is outside.

You're going to have to
negotiate the lettuce with him.

Now listen, I've got to go.

I might need my hands.

Okay.

- Hello, Terri.
- Good morning, sunshine.

It's hard, huh...

without him?

Yeah, try to keep busy.

Uh, about Ben.

Oh, God, don't stick
your nose in that, too.

I'm living with him, Terri.

Nobody asked you to. In fact, I'm
surprised you didn't blow out of town

on the next guy who came through.

Oh, Jesus. That tongue.

I think you just spoiled
all the vegetables in here.

You know, you came
into my family very recently,

and you started telling
everybody what to do,

which was nothing.

- Do nothing.
- That is not true.

You convinced my father to let
a thriving business go to seed.

"These are the good years.

"Life is for living."

I mean, Christ, a man his age

throwing himself at yoga
and guitar lessons?

You don't believe in growing!

You don't grow!

You're a tumbleweed

who blows around
whenever the wind changes.

Shit, I swore I wouldn't engage.

I got to go.

You know, people hide in charity.

Once in a while, assume other
people are as good as you.

Not worse.

They're not.

(VICTORIA) How was the vacation?

It wasn't a vacation.

Oh, did you get your eyes done?

- Delia got some fan mail, you know.
- Is that right?

A hundred bucks says Delia's fan mail

came from a member
of the cafeteria staff.

[MAN] Corporate thinks
each piece of mail

represents 1000 viewers.

What, did she do a really good job?

Hey, what was with you wrestling
that bum the other day?

- Nicely done.
- So did you know him or something?

You know how it is, you buy
someone a cup of coffee

and suddenly they're
your best friend.

- Do I need my eyes done?
- 30 seconds.

It would be illegal
to make them any bluer.

See, that's what I think.

Spinach check.

You have no whitening trays.

Now I really can't stay.

God, it must be tough
having to win the viewers over

one at a time like this.

You know, while you were off getting
your eyes done over the weekend,

Paul flew me to Martha's
Vineyard to show me this house

and it wasn't one of those stupid
Cape Cod houses the tourists love.

This was a year-round home

where you could really be
a part of the island.

Paul understands the
limitations of our job

and let's face it,

it's a short window,

and it's not really based on skill.

Yeah, I know that.

Lucky for me, my finances

have kind of been
taking care of themselves.

Sandwich guy told me
you nailed the baseball pool.

No, really, I'm coming
into a little piece of property

up in Lancaster myself.

I'll probably unload it.

Brian Williams has a place up there.

I don't think so.

Thanks for the ride.

Which is why I'm sick and
tired of the bullshit.

Excuse me, sorry.

I was just passing through.

Sit, please. Join us.

Everybody, this is Angela...

my stepmother.

Didn't we meet
at the plastic bag rally?

Your skin is so white.

I think we should listen now.

If we create a nonprofit society,

we can reap the tax benefits

of said society.

It is going to be a beginning

and an ending of life as we know it

and that is why I am calling it

The Omega Society.

I hate to stick my nose
into this, but...

No, everyone's voice has equal merit.

The Omega Society sounds like
the Omega Institute.

It's a holistic organization,

environmentalism, spiritual rebirth.

It's total synchronicity
is what it is.

Not only is it the perfect name
for our society,

but it already exists.

I think there's
an Omega Society, too,

so I don't think legally we can...

Justin, it's not about what is legal.

I grew up out here.

There are Amish people
on three sides of this farm.

They don't vote.
They don't join the Army.

They don't send their children
to our schools.

When you live off the land,

and you're honest,

things fall into place.

You are a beacon
to that Babylon out there.

My cousin lives in Oregon.

Ben's right.

So I've never seen you
at the Marriott before.

Oh, I really shouldn't.

You just going to go home and
stare at an empty dog bed?

Chester doesn't get home
from the hospital

till tomorrow, right?

His name is Clarence.

He got out of the hospital today,

and my mom is watching him.

But you sure are a good listener.

So are you,

and a very beautiful one actually.

I think Clarence needs me.

Seriously, I'm really fast.

[PHONE BUZZES]

Did you give my number to someone?

- I don't even have your...
- Shh, one second.

Hello?

I really didn't mean to bother you.

Ben's fine, but we just got
this registered letter.

Terri is challenging the will.

Why? I mean, I know why,

but under what grounds?

Well, it's Ben's competency.

There's going to be a hearing,
and he has to see a psychiatrist.

Can you believe this?

This morning, the bank
account was shut down.

It's a classic obstacle to a pioneer.

It's like Galileo or Che, or Jesus.

Every great move has a counter move.

But let me tell you,
my sister's greed

is not going to stop the
evolution of mind and body

that's going on out here.

No, no, no, look.
You need to calm down.

- Just get a lawyer.
- A law...

You think I'm crazy now?

Go see the shrink.

It's like giving them the
money if you don't go.

- I could be my own lawyer you know.
- There you go.

I could prepare a brief, one of those
600-page obstructionist babies.

They don't know
who they're fucking with.

Hey, are you still there?

Yes, any other fires to put out?

It is just getting
more and more intense,

and there are a lot of
other people involved now.

Like you and me?

No, I mean, there are
these hippie kids now

and the store,
and now this court thing.

He just seems very agitated.

And I mean, I've been trying
to deal with it, but...

[SIGHS]
I'm just glad I could call you.

You can always call me.

- I'm leaving.
- [WHISPERS] Maybe you should...

Oh, my God. Is there someone there?

No, I'm alone.

Now.

- I'm sorry.
- It's fine.

You're just doing your job.

My job, actually.

Well, I don't really know him.

He's Ben. He's a blast
most of the time.

But you didn't know his mother.

He inherited some things
that weren't in the will.

Yeah, Sam mentioned that.

Probably nothing like the free love,
whole foods thing you grew up in.

My father was an actuary for The
Hartford insurance company.

He died at his desk.
I was still at Andover.

Huh. Like say about Sam's age?

- What?
- So you must be loaded?

Is he going to be okay or not?

This is the way it usually goes.

The best thing to do
is keep feeding him.

Food is nature's Vicodin.

That's good, too,
by the way, if you have it.

You should finally be getting
some rain up that way, you know?

Mm, I'm not too sure about that.

Well...

goodnight.

Yeah, goodnight to you, too.

[GRUNTS]

[GROANS]

Woo!

Woo!

Woo!

Woo!

Ben?

- Ben?
- Is he ready?

Ben, Terri's here.

I can't believe you're doing this.

Yeah, well I can't believe
you're still here.

Ben?

Benji. We're going
to the doctor, okay?

There isn't anything to be...

Ben?

Great.

Why aren't you inside?

Greetings.

Sorry to keep bothering
you like that.

I don't think
getting a glass of water

is the biggest inconvenience
for these people right now.

I was just explaining my admiration

for these people.

They live off the land in kindness.

They don't believe
in war or pollution.

I'll tell you. One day, when there's
no earth left, because we used it up,

there will be 10 square miles of
Lancaster County where God still exists.

Why are you naked?

I didn't want that chemical
smell on me anymore.

That smell is not chemicals.

It's B.O. because you
have stopped showering

and you ruined everything
I bought you at The Gap,

- which you loved.
- I don't anymore.

We are going.

This entire incident is inappropriate

and probably illegal,
and if I were Mr. Yoder,

I would make you pay for the fact
that I missed two hours of farmwork

so I could ride into town on a buggy

to get a cop out here.

You're wrong.
We're having a conversation!

I don't want
to speak out of turn here,

but Felty and Sarah
are not being hospitable.

They're pacifists,
and this is how they respond

to being held hostage.

Gosh, I'm...

I-I never meant to... I didn't...

Ben, I think you can keep the apron.

Let's go.

Yes, the best way to get
the soda out of the bottle

is to shake it and
shake it and shake it.

You need a ride?

Yes.

Next time, go over to the highway

and get Anderson
to ring the fire bell for you.

I will. I apologize.

I might have been
in a bit of a panic.

I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Yoder.

I am sorry to hear about your father.

Thank you very much.

We all miss him, obviously.

He was lucky to have a long life.

Such a caring daughter.

All he cared about was his family.

Surely there's no other reason
for being on this Earth.

What would you do if you
couldn't have children?

I would pray to God
to send them to me.

What if you don't believe in God?

Maybe that's why
you can't have children.

Honestly, Ben,
you really fucked me here.

My independence of mind
is obviously a threat to them.

- Them?
- Society.

With all their poison.

I'm not putting it in my body.

And I respect that deep-fried
temple that you built,

but you have to stop running naked.

I know. I panicked.

Even the most committed messenger
has a moment of doubt.

Keep that word "committed" in mind.

- Next time.
- Oh, you mean in the courtroom?

Because that's where we're heading,

and they might not stop
with the money.

They can force you
to take the medicine,

- and they can lock you up.
- [KNOCKING]

We're studying in here.

Anyone hungry?

Not really.

I got to go.

Ben, you okay?

I don't know. I'm feeling
a little stressed out.

I'm stressed out. You're crazy.

Let's use the word freely
as if it gives us power.

Goodnight.

I see you've been arrested
a few times.

Public outbursts, indecency.

A misdemeanor
related to your profession

which you listed here
as "small farmer."

I also see that you've
never considered medication.

Anti-depressants?

They have been suggested,

as they have been to most of America.

Well, I was thinking
more like a mood stabilizer,

which for most is a very
effective therapeutic solution.

No need to resist
the magic of lithium, I know.

We should sprinkle its salty goodness
over the fries at McDonald's

until we're "Dawn of the Dead"
drooling towards Banana Republic,

pushing our carts
dazed through the market,

throwing the meat in,

black blood pooling
under so much plastic.

That's an interesting image.

Which I wouldn't have
if I was zonked on that shit.

I wouldn't feel
this hum I've got going.

Clear, sharp, and purposeful,

like every ion in my body
is vibrating with genius.

Marijuana is a chemical.

It's green and from the Earth.

But it's a drug,

a way of dealing with your symptoms.

Like the drug you get
when you go into a restaurant

or come home after work,

or offer a stranger the moment
they come into your house.

Our whole social system
is built around some drug.

Most cultures made beer
before they had an alphabet.

I'm going to ask you some questions,

and you can just tell me
yes or no, okay?

Do you experience sensations
of things that are not there?

Do you hear voices?

Are you afraid right now?

There are times that are wonderful,

and there are times
that are horrible.

And the wonderful thing is
right now, I feel alive.

But the terrible thing is
that you're not asking me

how I feel about my father dying.

Oh, well I was going...

I feel alone in the universe,

except for Steve.

So why do you think you're here?

Because I won the lottery.

Everybody's got their hand out.

[ANNOUNCER] Now action back
to Barry with his suited ace.

80,000 to call to see a flop here.

And he will have position after.

Yes, yes, you'll clean up later.

No... motherfucking goddamn dammit!

[SIGHS]

Look at it. It's huge.

Leaves and acorns everywhere.

You got to get rid of it.

The building is called The Oaks.

It's the only one left.

It's just a tree.

It blocks all the natural light,

Plus, it decreases
the value of my unit.

I can circulate a petition
if you want,

but you know
everybody feels the same,

and you got to be sick
of cleaning up all this crap.

I'll see what I can do.

Great, that's all I can ask.

Oh, and Steve...

thanks for the Oriole tickets.

Freebies, Arman. Don't be impressed.

(BEN) I happen to be in charge here.

Stop asking me where the debate is,

because I'm not going.

- Ben?
- We all agreed on the starting place,

and that's where it's going to be.

- And it's not about whose got the most...
- [knocks]

Ben, who's in there with you?

Hey.

Were you on the phone?

No.

My diagnosis, as I wrote,

is classic bipolar disorder.

Euphoric with schizoid tendencies.

[WHISPERS] See? I told you.

So in your assessment, Dr. Vincent,

you see Mr. Baker as being incapable

of understanding any consequences

for his actions.

Yes.

That is all we have
to say, Your Honor.

Uh, Mr. Baker...

have you been having difficulty

distinguishing
between real and unreal?

My whole life.

This is a very serious diagnosis.

Would you describe him as a danger
to himself or to other people?

Actually, I would say no.

Not at this moment.

It is, of course,
completely possible.

Well, I'm prepared to rule on this.

Mr. Baker, Ms. Coulter,

I have to agree
with Dr. Vincent's finding

that Mr. Baker is... I'm sorry to talk
about you as though you weren't here,

but this 11-page handwritten brief

didn't help, son.

He is seriously mentally troubled.

And he's likely to behave
with this money

in a extremely irresponsible manner.

But hopefully, he won't,

because as long as he's not a
threat to himself or other people,

he can go out and buy the world's
largest hat, if he wants to.

Your Honor, you don't understand.

Look, your father could have
left his money to his dog.

The law is crystal clear.

If the government gets their piece,

the mandates of the deceased
are to be observed.

Ben, I'm just looking out
for you, I swear.

No, I'm looking out for you.

Every time I think you're crazy

along comes the justice system.

Woo!

Is this great or what?

Yeah, Glenlivet scotch
in a shit hole like this?

I'm buying everything.

Bartender, drinks on the house!

- My man!
- Yeah!

[CROWD CHEERS]

I am not buying everybody a drink.

No, I think he means
drinks are on him.

What did I say?

Hey, my mom... my mom just
gave me the message.

- Congratulations.
- Oh, thanks. It means so much.

I don't know if you've ever
met my friend, Steve Dallas.

- Steve, this is Zed Starkevitch.
- Hi.

He's kind of the chief administrator
of the whole Omega Society.

I guess we should be saying
congratulations to you.

Can we get another beer?

To transforming society from within.

To being a tapeworm

gnawing on its intestines,

sucking and feeding
on the bile and waste,

growing stronger every minute.

Okay, I'm going to let
you two celebrate.

Zed, can your mom
take you and Ben home?

My mom's blind.

I'm bottling this moment.

[WHISTLES]

You done celebrating?

You got to come out here.

You got to see this.

- Where's Ben?
- Still hanging out.

Look at all these stars.

Have you seen this?

Yeah.

Yeah, I have.

It's pretty great.

Can you dance?

You can't handle it.

Come over here.

What is this?

What are you talking about?

Don't mess with me.

This. This place and you.

You, your face.

I don't know what to say.

Because you like me.

What?

Kiss me again
or slap me or something,

but you got to stop looking
at me all beautiful like that,

or you're going to get more of this.

So you'd like more?

I don't know.

I don't know who you are.

[SIGHS] I know it's horrible.

But this is really it.

This is who I am.

There's some good in it, I promise.

I have hobbies and stuff.

I always pick up the check.

You're stoned.

You're always stoned.

Actually, I'm drunk right now,

but again, that's part of who I am.

My personal ad?
"Loves to have a good time."

That's what I mean.

I eat life out of the big box.

I'm not hiding out here in the sticks

or wherever it is
you're going to next.

Doesn't it seem strange

that someone who
eats life like you do,

who has it all,
is trying to escape it?

I like you.

I bet you haven't had
an interaction with anyone

in the last ten years
that wasn't warped somehow.

My guess is you got some kind
of freefall going on in there,

but you hide it all
under this veil of charm

that people prefer
to real interaction.

I don't.

You think I'm charming?

Just to be clear,

if I'm sober, you're interested?

Goodnight.

People treat the environment
like it's a big toilet.

They can dump everything they
don't want, and flush it down,

and they're never
going to see it again.

Who the hell do you think you are?

Excuse me?

People get a little bit of money,

all of a sudden, they think
everything they say is true.

You're still a big fat nothing.

What?

You're just a crazy jackoff

making bullshit plans
that will never amount

to anything,
because that's what you are.

Nothing.

Holy shit!

Who are you?

Who do you think you are?

Huh?

Jesus Christ.

Ben, what the fuck is wrong with you?

Did you hear what he said to me?

I just ordered a beer.

Ben, I heard him, man.
That's all he said.

You're fucking crazy, man.

So you talk to the doctor
and I'll talk to Slochum.

He's okay?

Yeah, couple of stitches.

Well, tell him I'm really sorry.

Solomon, why don't you have a seat
while your dad and I have a word?

Ben, I'll be with you in a minute.

Let me get some coffee.
I'll run you home after.

Hey.

Hi.

You ever read this shit?

I mean, every issue
is exactly the same.

I guess.

I mean, look at this.

Why do you need a toothbrush
on a desert island?

Why are you here?

Because I talk to God.

Oh, really?

Why are you here?

Me? I don't know.

They want me to take some medication,

be like everybody else.

Solomon, we'll see you
again on Thursday, okay?

Ben, shall we?

[WHISPERS] God wants you
to take your medicine.

[CAR DOOR OPENS]

Seat belt.

[ENGINE STARTS]

He's still asleep.

It's incredible that a woman
with such a great hangover cure

would be against drinking.

I'm not against drinking.

Do you remember Sam at all?

Have you talked to Terri?

She doesn't know what to do.

She's just going to wait
until it doesn't look so bad,

which means it's over.

I think even Ben knows that.

Well, I guess you could
come back to the city with me,

and I know what you're
going to say about cities,

but it's Annapolis,
not really even a city.

But why would I go with you?

What about dinner? Can I stay?

Can we think that far ahead?

What about your job?

I can't face doing the weather

in this completely
unadulterated, unpolluted state.

Plus, every time I leave here,
something terrible happens.

He's a grown man.

I mean, it's admirable, but...

I don't think the issues
of his life are your problem.

My problem? You just spent

the last five years
taking care of Methuselah.

We were married.

See, nobody believes in friendship.

People talk about it.
You see it on TV.

People drop by and then
go to the doctor together.

No one eats alone.

But most people are alone.

That's the thing about friendship.

It's a lot rarer than love.

Because there's nothing
in it for anybody.

They're just two forms
of the same thing.

Don't you want me to stay for dinner?

I'll let you cook.

Just go easy on the sherry.

Remember our agreement.

We don't have an agreement.

Do you like chicken?

Like? Try love.

Go get one.

You want me to kill
someone at the store for it?

Are you kidding?

Come on, take it.

You want to be here? Be here.

It's like picking out a lobster.

Goddammit.

Shit.

It's okay.

[WHISPERS] It's okay.

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

It's... it's all right.

It's going to be okay.

Who am I kidding?

Oh, shit. I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry.

Oh, fuck.

Shit.

Jesus...

Dinner.

Is that him?

Her.

Smells pretty good.

Hey, everybody.

I feel like we should
say grace or something.

Steve?

Fine, fine, I killed the chicken.

Am I supposed to feel bad about that?

People do it every day.

No, they really don't.

Well, then how am I supposed to feel?

I don't know.

Grateful, maybe?

Oh...

Right.

Um...

Thank you, God, and this chicken,

of course, who made
the ultimate sacrifice

in harm's way.

Uh, amen.

Great, let's eat.

Would you?

I thought I was going
to have a problem with this,

but damn, that's a juicy bird.

It does smell really good.

You want some?

Yeah, I think I do.

(STEVE) Ben?

Okay, you got my phone number.

Oh...

Here, take it. It's my last one.

I'm going to lay off for a while.

What am I going to do with one joint?

Better try and get by,
but when I come back,

I'm bringing you the biggest
bag of dope you've ever seen.

- I don't think so.
- Okay, maybe you've seen a bigger one.

But I'm bringing a lot.

Do what you want. I don't
know where I'll be.

That's kind of ominous.

And because
of its non sequitur nature,

I'm going to take that
as a yes on the weed.

Why don't you take
all of this as clarity?

You don't have to come back, okay?

Suddenly you're going
to get your own weed?

Look, I'm done. That's it. It's over.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about, we took this ski
lift to the top of the mountain.

We got off. You're going one
way, and I'm going the other.

There's only one way to go, down.

You can't get on the lift without me.

In fact, you can't even ski.

- I can ski.
- When have you been skiing?

You told that girl you could
ski and I backed you up on it,

but you'd never been skiing.

Then you told her
you'd never been skiing,

and you sold me out, remember?

Forget about skiing.
You're talking stupid shit.

I need you to take this
seriously for once.

Take something seriously!

Oh, I get it.

You're strong. All has been revealed.

I'm just saying this is my problem,

and you're exacerbating it.

You are truly batshit.

I'm sure it's scary to take fixing
me off your list of things to do,

because all that's left
is fixing you.

Oh, wow.

Thank you for that.

Yeah, 'cause I'm
the selfish one here.

There's no chance you're the asshole.

Look, you don't know me,
and you don't owe me, okay?

Well, if you feel the need to punch
me in the balls knock yourself out.

I'll try to clear my schedule for the
next time the clarity wears off.

Are you going?

Yeah, I got to get back.

Oh.

I got the job, you know.

No, of course.

You don't want to walk me to the car?

Well, if you're leaving,
you're leaving.

I mean, I can call you or something.

Well, do you not want me to go?

Well, it's not going to be easy here.

And not because I'm pining for you.

I mean, you know
I'm not going to leave.

You're counting on it,
so really, you're just using me.

And throw in the fact that...

maybe I do have feelings.

Oh, God, so do I.

No... half a day sobriety
isn't going to open that door.

Oh, you can still
walk me outside, you know.

No funny business, I promise.

You should go.

I'll stay here until I feel
okay about going.

So you can feel okay about going.

Now, about this tropical depression

brewing off the Florida Keys,

it's too early to tell if
this Gulf air will hold

and create hurricane conditions.

So Victoria, we will
keep an eye on that.

Thank you, Steve.

We certainly will.

State officials announced today...

Dallas? Steve Dallas?

Yes, mein fuhrer...

You know, for a second out there,

I thought you were sober.

Then I realized you're probably on
some drug I've never even heard of.

Look at this shit.

Why don't they get us tubes,
like astronauts?

I don't know. The sandwiches
are pretty good.

Chicken baloney?

Do you have any idea
where that even comes from?

Yeah, a chicken.

It's a lot harder than that.

I didn't know you painted.

I don't really.

But somehow, tracing these lines

is really going to help me
remember this place.

'Cause let's face it,
the next time I come back

it probably won't be here.

Thanks for cheering me up.

Try it.

I really screwed up.

It wasn't in your control.

Gauguin packed up as far
from this craphole as possible.

The world wasn't even one
tenth as polluted as it is now.

You feel like packing up?

No.

I don't even feel that.

I just feel like...

it's a pretty nice day, and...

I hate myself for being the guy
who only has that to say.

Need another club soda, Mr. Dallas?

Does anyone ever need
another club soda?

What's going on here?

Oh, a real estate seminar.

Lot of ladies trying
to change their lives.

Is it good?

It's filled with bizarre details
and super weird bullshit.

You've never read anything
you liked that was like that?

It was not me.

Actually, it was me.

That's what makes it so depressing.
Now it's just this.

Unfinished, unfocused, unrelenting.

I'm a guy in a desert that's
running towards a mirage.

I'm still really thirsty,
and my mouth is full of sand.

Write that down.

I don't think it's mine.

It's going to take time.

I just wish it was some
crippling depression

instead of this disappointment.

How do you all live
here without looking

for a high place to jump from?

I can't sell you on life.

Because there's nothing to it.

[BEN CRYING]

Nothing at all.

Life doesn't stand up to thinking.

Smell the air out there.

There are wonders.

All I feel is time passing.

And it's overwhelming.

I wasted so much.

I gobbled it all down

without even tasting it.

So start over.

Just like that.

[FAN WHIRRING]

I'm sorry. I'm going to give it
ten more minutes if that's okay.

That's decaf, right?

Sorry I'm late.

Oh, my God. You shaved.

What can I say?
You know how erratic I am.

What did you want to
talk to me about, Ben?

Actually, I wanted to thank you.

I didn't wait 40 minutes for you to
show up so we could have a fight.

Terri, I mean it. I can't help but
think that... even through all this,

that what Dad wanted was for us
to deal with all this together.

I'm sorry, but I know you're
only one sentence away

from telling me you
want to turn the store

into an 1850's laundromat

that runs on whale oil or something.

Except God forbid
anybody hurt a whale.

No.

I have become acutely aware

of my limitations.

And I guess what I'm saying is

is that whatever you have in mind

I'm okay with it.

Excuse me?

Are you wearing a wire?

I'm serious.

Well, I've been
tossing around the idea

of converting the store
into something more modern.

- And profitable?
- Is that a sin?

No, that's good.
That's what I wanted to hear.

Because I have some
plans for the farm.

What, give it to Angela? Perfect.

You don't even know her.

Yeah, I know she has some freaky
power over all the men in my family.

And that probably comes
from under her sundress.

Terri, I'm asking you please.

Don't talk about her like that.

Okay...

Okay.

It's a million dollars
of undeveloped land.

And that's why I want to have a
say about what happens to it.

And you get lunch.

Look, whatever it takes.

I just don't want it
to be like this anymore.

You look just like Dad.

Okay, we feed in 15 seconds.

Come on, people.

I don't have a fucking image.

All right, this is a newsroom.

Can I get some people
walking back and forth please?

And let's clean up this...
oh, forget it.

Three, two...

As promised, we're continuing
to track this storm

now from the National Weather Service

known officially as Hurricane Gordon

about to make landfall
just south of Charleston here.

Expect 85 mile-per-hour winds

and flooding.

Two to three inches per hour.

Now you folks in the area,

whether the government
makes you or not,

just get yourselves out of there.

Your lives are a hell of a lot
more important than your houses.

This is Steve Dallas in the
Channel 18 Storm Center.

Stay dry and stay safe.

And we're out.

Nicely done, yes!

I loved that bit about the
people down in Charleston.

Our local old ladies
are going to cream.

From what Delia tells me,

this is a hell of a storm. Those
people needed to be warned.

Yeah, well those people
lost power six hours ago.

They're not watching TV.

Jesus, really?

So why the hell are we doing this?

Local people are interested.

They might run us national

unless those douchebags
in Baltimore snake us again.

(BEN) I don't want to bother you.

Oh, I'm just going through
some of your dad's stuff.

I probably should have buried
him in his madras shorts.

Would have felt more like a vacation.

I talked to Terri like you suggested.

It wasn't bad, right?

It was great.

And um...

the other night, too.

That really happened, didn't it?

Yes.

Yes, it did.

I can't tell you how much that meant.

Well, someone had to welcome
you back to the world.

How did you end up with my dad?

Uh... I guess it was all this.

It's hard to resist the temptation
to step into a normal life.

I know you told my dad
you didn't want anything.

Yeah, I said that.

And I really meant it, but...

you think he would just give
me like one little thing.

Anything, just for
sentimental reasons,

a gesture.

Well, you deserve whatever you want.

I keep trying to find a way...

No, no, no. Not from you.

I mean, it's sweet. Thank you, but...

it's not the same.

I thought since, you know, you didn't
know what you were going to do

that you could talk to Steve
about the farm and the house.

I'm sure he doesn't know
what he's going to do either.

What do you mean?

I'm giving this all to Dallas.

What?

I promised it to him after the will.

Huh.

I didn't know that.

It's an odd marriage,
but I kind of owed it to him.

- Why, did you want it?
- No, mm-mm.

Are you okay?

Sure. You?

Yeah, Terri's going to help
me find a smaller place.

I'll never forget how you
held this family together.

It's me. I hope I'm using this right.

It keeps asking me to press star,

which I don't think
we have on this phone.

Oh, there it is.

Uh, listen man...
[BEEP]

Listen, man,
I know we haven't talked.

I'm just going to say it.

I miss you, and I've been
thinking about things

and I want to make good on things.

And I know Angela miss...
[BEEP]

Okay, now I've got to talk fast,
because if I stop talking

the thing will cut me off.

Come down if you're ever free

and I'm good, bye.

Hello?

Morning, slugger.
Four reports in six hours.

Station manager's wet dream.

You got two hours to get
cleaned up for your 12:30.

- That's it. I'm done.
- What?

I think it's time you find a
new entertainment reporter,

someone who's comfortable with...

what a waste of time this is,

someone who isn't aware
of the fact that

any six year old can stick
their arm out the window

and tell you what it's
going to be like today.

Dave, I would like to introduce you

to Delia, an actual meteorologist

and yeah, she doesn't
look like Miss America.

She looks like someone
who went to MIT,

because she did.

Can't you ever just make it easy?

Do you have to suck
the good out of everything?

Good luck, sweetheart.

He kissed me.

Amish Farms Superstore?

Yes, but without the question mark.

If you believed in anything,

you would realize this is
why people go to hell.

Have you talked to Ben?

Ben agreed to this?

Underground parking?

Honestly, we spoke,

in rational means as a family and
this was the decision that we made.

And luckily for the both of us

you're not part of the family.

No, no, congratulations. You won.

And I don't mean
the battle over the will.

I mean for biggest twat of the year.

Boy, you really don't know
how to talk to a woman

you're not trying to screw.

Ben and I reconciled,

and your opposition
to that makes me feel

like you just don't want to be alone

in whatever weed-powered dance

you two have shared
for the last 25 years.

I want him to get better.

Then for once, leave him be.

He is going to have
a lifetime of prosperity.

And I'm sure he and Angela
will be very happy.

What?

Maybe it's sick, but those
two found each other.

I know it sounds weird,
but I actually believe

that my brother and my stepmother

belong together.

Wait, they're together? Says who?

Oh, Steve, they are.

Sorry, you're going to have
to find someone else

who's in worse shape than you now.

- Go fuck yourself.
- Go fuck yourself, too.

- Beard.
- Yeah.

- You like it?
- Is Angela here?

I don't know if you got my messages.

I wanted you to come so I
could tell you the great news

that the farm is yours

- to do whatever you want with.
- Fan-fucking-tastic.

Angela around?

Now, don't be mad, but Terri's
going to get the store.

- It's just the best way to go.
- That is great, great news.

Do you know where Angela is?

Are you okay?
I think she's upstairs.

- Upstairs where you were just screwing her?
- What are you talking about?

I don't know if you
were just screwing her.

That's a weird thing to say.

Really? Because it is sick.

If it isn't Amish country's
own Mary Magdalene.

Did you wash his feet first

or just pull him down off
the cross and bone him?

- Hold on. Calm down.
- What?

- You're being very...
- No, stay out of this.

I'm warning you, Ben.
Stay out of this.

Why are you angry?

Because you fucked my friend.

- Who told you that?
- Everybody knows.

That's none of your business.

I guess nothing
was none of my business.

I never promised you anything. You got
the farm. Isn't that what you wanted?

Stop it! I'm not going to have the two
people I care about most in the world

fight like this. You got it
all wrong. Now cool it.

Fine, fine.

What happened?

Oh, God. This is so bad.

You assholes, both of you.
Such assholes.

You don't care about anything. Jesus,
you know what she means to me.

It's not what you think.

I-I didn't know, but it doesn't
change anything, I swear.

The hell it doesn't!

I thought I meant something to you.

Because I thought you
were helping a sick friend,

not making a real estate deal.

What? I was!

But aren't I entitled to something?

Yes!

You don't know where I have been,

the shit I have done to deserve you.

I talked to Terri...

and it's yours to do
whatever you want with it.

And... don't know
what to say except...

I hope you take a look at yourself...

and realize how much is there.

Steve...

you got to get your shit together.

I hope one day you find out
what you really care about.

I hope one day you learn
to solve a problem

without sleeping with it.

What happened between me and
Ben had nothing to do with you

or my feelings for you.

Oh, come on. You sell
all this nature shit

and honesty and feelings,

when you're just this empty little
girl with no responsibilities

who gets anything
and everybody she wants

because she's so goddamn pretty.

And believe me, I know
what I'm talking about.

I do the weather on TV.

You got a week to get off my land.

[HORNS HONKING]

[METALLIC PING]

I got that.

Thanks.

You're the new guy?

Pulled all the strings
and got a south unit?

Sorry.

I'm Natalie.

That's Connor.

Ben.

Buenos dias.

- You wanted to see me?
- Wanted to see you?

I was calling you...

What is that?

Last one in the case.

You're out of luck.

Ah, hell.

I must have called you 100 times.

- You never answered.
- I just thought you wanted to fire Delia.

And obviously, I was right.

Interesting thing about Delia.

I ran it by corporate,

and if she promises
to get a boob job,

which she's on board with,

she can do the weather.

Why did you want to see me?

With Victoria getting married...

God, I never thought
that was going to happen.

With Victoria getting married,

there's an opening
on the anchor desk.

Now as much as I prefer
someone who shows up,

after the last Storm Watch

and then you disappearing like that,

we received, like, 7000 letters

expressing their concern for you

and a wish to see you again.

You mean seven letters.

The point is

we have an opening

if you want it. The big seat.

Plus, now we've got
this totally stacked chick

next to you doing the weather,

and you'll never want for money.

God, I'm just wondering

what it would take
to get fired around here.

Is this your coffee or mine,

because I have to drive home.

They're all my coffee.

Overpaid prick.

Five seconds.

Good afternoon, Annapolis.

Federal investigators responding...

[KNOCKING]

You missed my shower.

Sorry, I got hit by a pile of money.

Any lots available near
you on Martha's Vineyard?

Don't you want me to be happy?

Not sure I want that for anybody.

I'm going to miss fucking you.

I used to think there was more,

but there isn't.

[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS]
One new message.

Hi, this is Beverly

confirming your date for the night.

Her name is Carla,
and she's a petite redhead.

That is, the good redhead.

Think Nicole Kidman, not Howdy-Doody.

Just so you know,
she has a lot of regulars.

[BEEP]

Hey.

You get my letter?

Letter? I got a FedEx full of weed.

Subtle.

Want some salmon?

I thought salmon was for assholes.

Everything else had so much mercury.

I drove 2 1/2 hours...

and I ended up back
in my own apartment.

Except I don't have the view.

Me either.

They cut the tree down.

Good for you.

How was she?

Wasn't worth a tree.

You going to open the wine?

You can have some.

There's a glass in the...

Oh, Jesus.

Don't be so proud of yourself.

You know like less than
10% of the people

who even take the shit you're on

ever stay on it.

I defer to your drug expertise.

Why did you fall in love with
her and ruin everything for me?

I didn't fall in love with her.

That's worse.

You ruined everything.

No, you ruined everything!

First of all, I'm not in love
with her, and I never was.

But you slept with her anyway?

Why would you do that?

Okay, let's say I understand that.

But you don't.

She helped me.

Let me feel something again.

So she makes me stop getting high,

but you get sex.

What a shitty, shitty deal.

And for what?

For this?

What happened to you?

I am still me.

Bullshit. You're Ben lite.

I'm Ben prime. I'm still the
same guy from sixth grade.

[WHISPERS] No.

Ben, you're a million miles
away from that kid

I swear.

This isn't bad.

I'm just functioning now
like everyone else.

So this is it?

Well, maybe that's what's
wrong with the world.

We keep looking and grabbing

and eating and smoking

and never stop to think.

Who could want more than this?

You're here.

That's all that matters.

- Hey, there.
- Hi.

I know. It's a lot of junk.

But I'm a really good mother.

- Hey.
- I'm sorry.

I was going to leave in the morning.

Well, I...

What?

You know anything
about running a farm?

More than you.

[THUNDER]

Come inside.

No.

Why are we here?

We're waiting for the rain to stop.

Can I ride it?

Could you?

[PHONE RINGING]

Hey.

Um, Mom said Wednesday.

I don't know why she said Wednesday.

[HORSE CLOPPING]