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1
00:00:22,889 --> 00:00:26,086
♪ He's corny as corn bread
seedy as grain ♪
2
00:00:26,159 --> 00:00:29,322
♪ He came out west
on a northbound train ♪
3
00:00:29,395 --> 00:00:32,159
♪ The crooks die laughing
but they're dead just the same ♪
4
00:00:32,232 --> 00:00:34,632
♪ He's the shakiest gun in the West ♪
5
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:36,669
♪ Yeah ♪
6
00:00:36,736 --> 00:00:40,001
♪ He's the shakiest gun in the West ♪
7
00:00:40,073 --> 00:00:43,133
♪ He's got a phony pony
that was made in Japan ♪
8
00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:46,007
♪ He rides in the saddle
like an elevator man ♪
9
00:00:46,079 --> 00:00:49,173
♪ He's an underfoot tenderfoot
king of the mess ♪
10
00:00:49,249 --> 00:00:51,877
♪ He's the shakiest gun in the West ♪
11
00:00:51,951 --> 00:00:53,851
♪ Yeah ♪
12
00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:56,445
♪ He's the shakiest gun in the West ♪
13
00:00:56,522 --> 00:00:59,150
♪ But he stands for right ♪
14
00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:02,058
♪ Both day and night ♪
15
00:01:02,128 --> 00:01:06,792
♪ He may lose the battle for a while ♪
16
00:01:06,866 --> 00:01:10,802
♪ But he'll win the fight ♪
17
00:01:10,870 --> 00:01:13,998
♪ He's a humdinger
a western swinger ♪
18
00:01:14,073 --> 00:01:17,440
♪ But he has a little trouble
with his trigger finger ♪
19
00:01:17,510 --> 00:01:20,343
♪ When he takes aim
it's anybody's guess ♪
20
00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:22,938
♪ He's the shakiest gun in the West ♪
21
00:01:23,016 --> 00:01:24,950
♪ Yeah ♪
22
00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:27,919
♪ He's the shakiest gun in the West ♪
23
00:01:27,987 --> 00:01:31,388
♪ He's a dude done over
you can see at a glance ♪
24
00:01:31,457 --> 00:01:34,722
♪ His boots are shiny
and so are his pants ♪
25
00:01:34,794 --> 00:01:37,388
♪ He's got hair in his eye
and a gleam on his chest ♪
26
00:01:37,463 --> 00:01:40,125
♪ He's the shakiest gun in the West ♪
27
00:01:40,199 --> 00:01:42,190
♪ Yeah ♪
28
00:01:42,268 --> 00:01:44,532
♪ He's the shakiest gun in the West ♪
29
00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:47,232
♪ But he stands for right ♪
30
00:01:47,307 --> 00:01:50,401
♪ Both day and night ♪
31
00:01:50,476 --> 00:01:55,140
♪ He may lose the battle for a while ♪
32
00:01:55,214 --> 00:01:58,183
♪ But he'll win the fight ♪
33
00:01:58,251 --> 00:02:00,981
♪ Yeah, he stands for right ♪
34
00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:03,750
♪ Both day and night ♪
35
00:02:06,392 --> 00:02:10,829
{ Woman Screaming]
Oh, help.! Help.! Help.!
36
00:02:10,897 --> 00:02:13,866
Help! Ohhh!
37
00:02:13,933 --> 00:02:17,835
Help! Help!
38
00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:22,672
Madam, madam,
please be patient.
39
00:02:22,742 --> 00:02:26,109
After all, this is the final
examination for these dental students.
40
00:02:26,179 --> 00:02:29,307
It's important
that you cooperate.
41
00:02:29,382 --> 00:02:33,580
Now, stay in your chair
and try to relax.
42
00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:36,121
Golly Ned, Mother!
43
00:02:36,189 --> 00:02:39,124
Relax. Up we go.
44
00:02:44,931 --> 00:02:47,923
All right.
45
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:52,096
You just sit down there.
There we go.
46
00:02:52,171 --> 00:02:56,801
All righty, Miss Stevenson.
Now, first things first.
47
00:02:56,876 --> 00:03:01,540
Now we're just gonna take a little
look-see at your general dental condition.
48
00:03:01,614 --> 00:03:04,481
Sort of get the lay of the land.
49
00:03:04,550 --> 00:03:08,577
You know? Okay.
All righty, open your mouth.
50
00:03:10,456 --> 00:03:14,893
No, no, you see, if, uh...
51
00:03:14,961 --> 00:03:18,260
if you don't open your mouth,
then I can't see anything.
52
00:03:18,331 --> 00:03:21,357
See? That's the way
that works.
53
00:03:21,434 --> 00:03:26,064
Uh, come on now, Miss Stevenson.
Seriously. Open your mouth.
54
00:03:26,139 --> 00:03:29,404
Open up. Come on, come on.
55
00:03:29,475 --> 00:03:32,967
I'll help you here. I'll get that...
There. Open that...
56
00:03:39,352 --> 00:03:42,947
How're you doing, Heywood?
Fine. Fine.
57
00:03:47,026 --> 00:03:49,824
Dr. Friedlander?
58
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:53,161
What seems to be
the trouble, Heywood?
59
00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:58,300
Complete closure
of the oral cavity, eh?
60
00:03:58,371 --> 00:04:00,305
She won't open her mouth.
61
00:04:00,373 --> 00:04:02,637
Watch me carefully.
62
00:04:02,708 --> 00:04:05,871
Well, Miss Stevenson,
don't we look lovely today.
63
00:04:05,945 --> 00:04:08,277
But we have a toothache,
haven't we?
64
00:04:08,347 --> 00:04:12,306
A tooth saved is a silver dollar
in the bank of health.
65
00:04:12,385 --> 00:04:14,910
Now, open your mouth, dear.
66
00:04:16,989 --> 00:04:18,957
Op... Open wide.
67
00:04:23,162 --> 00:04:27,622
Are we going to open up
that mouth?
68
00:04:29,035 --> 00:04:32,061
Open that rotten
little mouth!
69
00:04:41,047 --> 00:04:43,572
You're in my way, Heywood.
You're in my way!
70
00:04:43,649 --> 00:04:46,743
I can't...
I can't get loose.
71
00:04:46,819 --> 00:04:49,845
Wait 'til I get...
72
00:04:53,359 --> 00:04:55,623
Get me out of here!
73
00:05:00,533 --> 00:05:03,400
You're on your own
from here on, Heywood.
74
00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:06,404
If you don't get that mouth
open and get that tooth fixed,
75
00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:09,566
you don't graduate.
Mm-hmm.
76
00:05:24,690 --> 00:05:26,624
Now, Miss Stevenson,
77
00:05:26,692 --> 00:05:30,560
I realize that this is hardly the
time or place to bring this up,
78
00:05:30,630 --> 00:05:34,589
but, uh, I'd like very much
to see you socially sometime.
79
00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:37,864
Oh! Well, I, uh...
There!
80
00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:42,770
Everything going
okay, Heywood?
81
00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:46,334
Fine. Uh-huh. Fine.
82
00:06:23,783 --> 00:06:26,013
Mm-hmm.
83
00:06:30,656 --> 00:06:33,819
{ Chattering]
84
00:07:24,810 --> 00:07:28,302
{ Punching, Falling To Floor]
85
00:07:28,381 --> 00:07:31,316
♪
86
00:07:45,998 --> 00:07:49,331
All right, make way
for the mother of a dentist.
87
00:07:49,402 --> 00:07:53,702
The mother of Jesse W. Heywood,
valedictorian.
88
00:07:55,508 --> 00:07:57,840
I'm her best friend.
89
00:08:06,886 --> 00:08:10,378
{ Applause]
90
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,927
Uh, Dr. Friedlander,
91
00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:23,298
faculty, students...
92
00:08:23,369 --> 00:08:26,304
And parents.
93
00:08:30,776 --> 00:08:33,609
As we, uh, stand
on the threshold...
94
00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:38,173
{ Man] Louder.! As we stand on
the threshold of graduation,
95
00:08:38,250 --> 00:08:41,686
we may get the feeling
that this is the end.
96
00:08:41,754 --> 00:08:44,746
{ One Person Applauding]
97
00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:49,828
This is really the beginning...
Louder.!
98
00:08:49,895 --> 00:08:52,295
This is really the beginning...
99
00:08:52,364 --> 00:08:55,765
of stepping out into new horizons:
100
00:08:55,835 --> 00:08:58,770
North, south, east...
101
00:08:58,838 --> 00:09:01,864
and... west.
102
00:09:03,275 --> 00:09:05,800
Speaking of west,
that is the direc...
103
00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:08,346
That is the direction
that I personally am going to.
104
00:09:08,414 --> 00:09:11,144
Why did I choose the West?
105
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:16,985
Because the West is a place
where few, if any, dentists have trod.
106
00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:19,524
So I am going to trod there.
107
00:09:21,861 --> 00:09:25,024
Why, Jesse? Why?
108
00:09:25,097 --> 00:09:28,066
Well, Mom,
the West needs dentists.
109
00:09:28,134 --> 00:09:30,932
I mean, teeth are fallin' out
right and left out there.
110
00:09:31,003 --> 00:09:34,131
Teeth are falling out
in Philadelphia too.
111
00:09:34,206 --> 00:09:39,075
Yeah, but Philadelphia is overrun with dentists.
There must be seven!
112
00:09:39,145 --> 00:09:43,377
Gratitude! Gratitude!
Some nice gratitude!
113
00:09:43,449 --> 00:09:47,579
But all the plans,
all the nice surprises.
114
00:09:47,653 --> 00:09:51,555
Your Uncle George was going to give you
an office over the harness shop...
115
00:09:51,624 --> 00:09:53,285
for $3.00 a month.
116
00:09:53,359 --> 00:09:56,385
And Celia's Leonard
was going to give you...
117
00:09:56,462 --> 00:09:59,124
four rolls of wallpaper.
118
00:09:59,198 --> 00:10:01,632
Blue ducks.
119
00:10:01,700 --> 00:10:04,032
Fifty cents a foot!
Wholesale!
120
00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:06,037
Oh, Jesse!
121
00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:08,335
Jesse, Jesse, Jesse!
122
00:10:08,407 --> 00:10:12,036
Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom.
123
00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:16,013
If he were mine, I'd know what to do.
Put him across my knee.
124
00:10:16,081 --> 00:10:18,345
Butt out!
I'm family!
125
00:10:18,417 --> 00:10:20,647
You're not family!
I'm your aunt!
126
00:10:20,719 --> 00:10:22,814
You're not a real aunt. Just
my mother's best friend.
127
00:10:22,839 --> 00:10:23,903
Oh, yeah?
128
00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:25,016
Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah?
129
00:10:25,090 --> 00:10:28,423
How's it going, Heywood?
Fine. Fine.
130
00:10:35,467 --> 00:10:39,665
Those half-naked savages
must have colds all the time.
131
00:10:39,738 --> 00:10:42,104
Oh, Ma, that's
an old wives' tale.
132
00:10:42,174 --> 00:10:45,143
Your average Indian's
the healthiest person in the world.
133
00:10:45,211 --> 00:10:48,374
But, Jesse, dear, it stands to reason...
Uh, Ma, Ma, Ma!
134
00:10:48,447 --> 00:10:50,745
Call me "Doctor."
135
00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:53,512
Oh, excuse me,
is this car 24?
136
00:10:53,586 --> 00:10:55,986
Uh, all the way down, mack.
Thank you.
137
00:10:56,055 --> 00:11:00,890
But, Doctor, you've always been
such a delicate little boy.
138
00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:03,656
You've got such touchy sinuses.
139
00:11:03,729 --> 00:11:06,527
You've always had your
father's delicate sinuses.
140
00:11:06,599 --> 00:11:09,124
Aw, Ma!
Now don't "aw" me.
141
00:11:09,201 --> 00:11:11,965
It was your father's
sinuses that killed him.
142
00:11:12,037 --> 00:11:14,403
He was run over
by a beer wagon!
143
00:11:14,473 --> 00:11:17,909
He was blowing his nose
in the middle of the street.
144
00:11:17,977 --> 00:11:20,775
Well, I'm not going to cry.
145
00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:22,780
Good for you, Ma.
146
00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:26,011
I promised myself
I wouldn't cry.
147
00:11:26,085 --> 00:11:28,019
Attagirl.
148
00:11:28,087 --> 00:11:30,521
If you don't believe me,
ask Celia.
149
00:11:30,589 --> 00:11:33,615
I said, "Celia, I'm not
going to cry at the station."
150
00:11:33,692 --> 00:11:37,128
And you've always
kept your word, Ma.
151
00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:39,858
Uh, is this car 24?
152
00:11:39,932 --> 00:11:43,527
Uh, back that way.
Huh. Well...
153
00:11:45,170 --> 00:11:48,571
I'll bet you think
I'm crying right now.
154
00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:51,474
You promised yourself you wouldn't.
And I'm not!
155
00:11:51,543 --> 00:11:54,512
That's 'cause you're strong, Ma.
{ Whistle Blows]
156
00:11:54,580 --> 00:11:57,481
Just think, Ma.
157
00:11:57,549 --> 00:11:59,483
Gettin' ready to head west.
158
00:11:59,551 --> 00:12:02,247
In two days, I'll be in Ohio.
159
00:12:02,321 --> 00:12:04,653
In one week, I'll be in St. Louis.
160
00:12:04,723 --> 00:12:07,749
And in two months,
California!
161
00:12:07,826 --> 00:12:10,522
What an age we live in.
162
00:12:10,596 --> 00:12:13,963
Things are moving too fast.
163
00:12:18,170 --> 00:12:22,402
Excuse me, bunky.
Is this about it?
164
00:12:22,474 --> 00:12:25,773
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Thank you. Thank you.
165
00:12:25,844 --> 00:12:27,812
Well, Ma...
166
00:12:31,183 --> 00:12:33,879
Oh! Oh, uh...
167
00:12:35,955 --> 00:12:39,254
Ma, you got something
for the porter? Got a nickel?
168
00:12:39,325 --> 00:12:41,293
A nickel?
169
00:12:45,164 --> 00:12:48,292
Uh, n-no charge.
170
00:12:51,203 --> 00:12:53,171
Ma, what's that?
171
00:12:53,238 --> 00:12:57,265
Well, it got your Uncle Metcalf
safely through the Civil War.
172
00:12:57,343 --> 00:12:59,743
Here, you may need it.
173
00:13:00,980 --> 00:13:04,677
Well, gee, Ma,
that's kind of nifty.
174
00:13:04,750 --> 00:13:07,150
Wear it in good health.
175
00:13:07,219 --> 00:13:09,278
{ Conductor]
Board.!
176
00:13:10,689 --> 00:13:15,092
Well, Ma, I guess this is it.
177
00:13:16,628 --> 00:13:18,755
Good-bye, dear.
178
00:13:18,831 --> 00:13:21,959
Write me as soon
as you get to the West.
179
00:13:22,034 --> 00:13:24,002
I will, Ma.
180
00:13:38,917 --> 00:13:41,078
Don't look back, Ma.
181
00:13:59,204 --> 00:14:01,138
Goin' out west, partner?
182
00:14:01,206 --> 00:14:03,538
Sure am, partner.
183
00:14:09,014 --> 00:14:11,949
{ Bell Ringing,
Whistle Blowing]
184
00:14:53,926 --> 00:14:56,360
Naka washa.
185
00:14:58,263 --> 00:15:03,701
Well...
thank you, dear lady.
186
00:15:06,538 --> 00:15:09,166
Oh, uh, thank you,
dear lady.
187
00:15:14,012 --> 00:15:16,037
Mmm!
188
00:15:16,115 --> 00:15:18,777
That's good!
What is that?
189
00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:22,218
Wana tonka.
Wana tonka?
190
00:15:22,287 --> 00:15:24,255
Lizard roll.
191
00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:39,270
Rest stop! Rest stop!
192
00:15:43,475 --> 00:15:45,602
{ Gunshot]
193
00:15:56,655 --> 00:16:00,887
All right, everybody out of that stage. Come on!
194
00:16:04,029 --> 00:16:05,997
Come on!
195
00:16:08,267 --> 00:16:10,758
Come on, let's go.!
196
00:16:10,836 --> 00:16:14,067
And you up there,
throw down that strongbox!
197
00:16:52,778 --> 00:16:54,712
Hold it, driver.!
198
00:17:07,326 --> 00:17:09,260
Go ahead!
199
00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:21,339
Whoa! Whoa!
200
00:17:21,406 --> 00:17:23,340
What happened, Arthur?
201
00:17:23,408 --> 00:17:27,208
Two men held us up out on the Willow Creek Road.
They got the strongbox.
202
00:17:27,279 --> 00:17:29,839
All right.
Come on, men. Let's go.
203
00:17:40,959 --> 00:17:44,759
I just love this kind of stuff.
Oh, come on!
204
00:17:52,471 --> 00:17:55,440
Fred, got a passenger for ya
on the through stage.
205
00:17:55,507 --> 00:17:57,668
Be sure he gets on it.
206
00:18:24,336 --> 00:18:27,601
Hot digs!
Come to 2,200 apiece.
207
00:18:31,677 --> 00:18:34,510
You know something, Penny?
This is the first time...
208
00:18:34,579 --> 00:18:38,140
I ever had this much money
at one time in my whole life.
209
00:18:38,216 --> 00:18:41,413
There's plenty more
where that came from, Pop.
210
00:18:41,486 --> 00:18:45,286
I got two stagecoaches lined up next week.
A hundred miles apart.
211
00:18:45,357 --> 00:18:48,622
Hold it, Penny. Count me out.
What?
212
00:18:48,694 --> 00:18:51,720
That's right. This was my last job.
213
00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:57,201
After 30 years of rustling cattle
and holding up banks, I'm packing it in.
214
00:18:57,269 --> 00:19:00,705
This'll be easy pickin's, Pop.
215
00:19:00,772 --> 00:19:03,502
No. I'm gonna take
this here money...
216
00:19:03,575 --> 00:19:06,135
and fulfill my lifelong ambition.
217
00:19:06,211 --> 00:19:08,145
What's that, Pop?
218
00:19:08,213 --> 00:19:12,013
Go to Boston and open up
a little dress shop.
219
00:19:12,084 --> 00:19:15,144
A dress shop?
220
00:19:15,220 --> 00:19:17,950
Well, wait a minute, Penny.
221
00:19:18,023 --> 00:19:21,186
Just 'cause I'm rough and dirty
and don't wear underwear,
222
00:19:21,259 --> 00:19:24,126
don't mean that I ain't artistic.
223
00:19:24,196 --> 00:19:28,155
All the years we've been together,
I never heard you mention that once.
224
00:19:28,233 --> 00:19:33,637
Well, I reckon it would sound kind of
funny in front of the other gentlemen.
225
00:19:33,705 --> 00:19:37,232
Well, if that's
the way you want it.
226
00:19:37,309 --> 00:19:41,405
At least we can ride together
as far as Hole in the Wall.
227
00:19:42,714 --> 00:19:45,683
A dress shop?
Hold it, Penny!
228
00:19:46,785 --> 00:19:49,583
What is it?
229
00:19:49,654 --> 00:19:52,851
Sounds like maybe 10 or 15 horses.
230
00:19:52,924 --> 00:19:56,325
Nice posse size.
Let's get outta here.
231
00:20:27,058 --> 00:20:30,892
Whoa! Whoa! Penny, there
ain't but one thing to do.
232
00:20:30,962 --> 00:20:33,829
They're gainin' on us.
We gotta split up.
233
00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:35,958
You follow
that stream there.
234
00:20:36,034 --> 00:20:39,333
I'll head north and try to draw 'em off.
Good luck, honey.
235
00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:41,338
Don't get caught, Pop.
Remember your dress shop.
236
00:20:56,087 --> 00:20:58,317
Yeah, it looks like one of'em.
237
00:20:58,390 --> 00:21:01,553
I just love this kind of stuff.
238
00:21:01,626 --> 00:21:03,719
Let's go.
239
00:21:54,079 --> 00:21:58,175
I just hate this kind of stuff!
Grab her, Floyd!
240
00:21:58,250 --> 00:22:00,309
Where?
Where?
241
00:22:00,385 --> 00:22:04,651
I don't know about grabbin' women!
I ain't married!
242
00:22:04,723 --> 00:22:07,988
Where's that federal marshal?
He's on his way over.
243
00:22:08,059 --> 00:22:09,993
You've got no right!
244
00:22:10,061 --> 00:22:14,088
You've got no right holding
a defenseless woman prisoner!
245
00:22:20,205 --> 00:22:25,006
Now simmer down!
You just simmer down, Penny.
246
00:22:25,076 --> 00:22:28,068
Marshal Bates here
wants to talk to you.
247
00:22:28,146 --> 00:22:30,740
Miss Cushings,
I've got a proposition for you.
248
00:22:30,815 --> 00:22:32,510
Not interested!
249
00:22:32,584 --> 00:22:36,611
Better hear me out.
This paper's a full pardon.
250
00:22:36,688 --> 00:22:40,784
You dang fool! The marshal wants you
to work for the federal government.
251
00:22:40,859 --> 00:22:43,987
It's a trick!
I just love this kind of stuff!
252
00:22:44,062 --> 00:22:47,554
No, it's no trick.
Now listen to me carefully.
253
00:22:47,632 --> 00:22:51,568
Somebody's been smuggling guns
to some renegade Comanche Indians.
254
00:22:51,636 --> 00:22:53,570
What's that got to do with me?
255
00:22:53,638 --> 00:22:55,936
We need your help
to find out who it is.
256
00:22:56,007 --> 00:22:59,204
The marshal wants you to work
as an undercover agent.
257
00:22:59,277 --> 00:23:01,370
We've already lost two men.
258
00:23:01,446 --> 00:23:05,177
We figure they won't be suspicious
of a woman posin' as a homesteader.
259
00:23:07,018 --> 00:23:09,816
Well, what do you think, Penny?
260
00:23:09,888 --> 00:23:12,288
I don't know.
261
00:23:12,357 --> 00:23:15,724
We got enough on you
to send you away for 300 years.
262
00:23:17,395 --> 00:23:20,796
Ya ninny! He wants
to give you a pardon!
263
00:23:20,865 --> 00:23:23,265
Here, read this.
264
00:23:27,405 --> 00:23:30,272
Is it a real pardon?
265
00:23:30,342 --> 00:23:33,277
It's got the governor's
signature on it.
266
00:23:36,681 --> 00:23:38,706
You got yourself a deal.
267
00:23:39,818 --> 00:23:42,013
Hey, this is
pretty excitin'.
268
00:23:42,087 --> 00:23:44,112
You mind if
I tell everybody?
269
00:23:44,189 --> 00:23:47,681
You do and I'll shoot you...
right in the mouth.
270
00:24:09,314 --> 00:24:11,248
Excuse me, sir.
271
00:24:11,316 --> 00:24:14,752
Could you tell me where I could buy
a wagon and a good team of horses?
272
00:24:14,819 --> 00:24:17,413
Yep. Right across
the street there.
273
00:24:17,489 --> 00:24:20,890
Abel Swanson will sell you
anything you want.
274
00:24:20,959 --> 00:24:23,689
But watch him.
He's real slick.
275
00:24:23,762 --> 00:24:25,696
He'll cheat you
if he gets a chance.
276
00:24:25,764 --> 00:24:29,200
Yeah? Well, he'll have to get up
pretty early in the morning...
277
00:24:29,267 --> 00:24:32,395
to pull the wool
over Jesse W. Heywood's eyes.
278
00:24:32,470 --> 00:24:34,438
Much obliged.
279
00:24:34,506 --> 00:24:36,736
Love your hat!
280
00:24:50,188 --> 00:24:52,656
Mr. Swanson?
281
00:24:52,724 --> 00:24:55,318
Oh. Howdy.
282
00:24:55,393 --> 00:24:59,193
I'd like to see Mr. Swanson about
gettin' a good rig and a team.
283
00:25:01,433 --> 00:25:05,563
Well, I don't know
anything about that.
284
00:25:05,637 --> 00:25:08,800
And you can tell him that just
because I'm from out of town,
285
00:25:08,873 --> 00:25:12,172
that don't mean I don't
know what it's all about.!
286
00:25:18,683 --> 00:25:21,709
{ Footsteps]
287
00:25:24,489 --> 00:25:28,016
Good day, sir. Abel Swanson,
proprietor, at your service.
288
00:25:28,093 --> 00:25:31,085
Dr. Jesse W. Heywood,
dentist, Philadelphia.
289
00:25:31,162 --> 00:25:35,531
Ah, a professional man! What a pleasure
to do business with a man of science!
290
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:39,229
Wong, our house is honored
by the presence of a physician.
291
00:25:44,109 --> 00:25:46,737
{ Kissing Noises]
292
00:25:50,348 --> 00:25:53,613
Wong reveres knowledge.
We are at your service.
293
00:25:53,685 --> 00:25:55,676
Uh, well...
294
00:25:55,754 --> 00:25:58,689
I want to get a rig
and a couple of good strong horses.
295
00:25:58,757 --> 00:26:00,691
And I'll pay nothin'
but a fair price.
296
00:26:00,759 --> 00:26:03,751
It's a pleasure to do business
with a discerning man.
297
00:26:03,828 --> 00:26:06,922
Now, everything you need
is right over here.
298
00:26:06,998 --> 00:26:09,762
There's a potbellied stove,
wrought iron skillet,
299
00:26:09,834 --> 00:26:12,598
twenty pounds of flour,
one axe, two extra handles.
300
00:26:12,670 --> 00:26:16,800
Now, let's see. A stove, $7.50; skillet,
$4.20; flour, $8.50; $9.75 for an axe.
301
00:26:16,875 --> 00:26:20,174
Add that up,
will you, Wong?
302
00:26:23,014 --> 00:26:26,609
That comes to $47, even.
Now for the wagon...
303
00:26:26,684 --> 00:26:28,811
Wait a minute.
Hold it. Hold it!
304
00:26:28,887 --> 00:26:32,288
Forty-seven dollars?
The stove was $7.50.
305
00:26:32,357 --> 00:26:36,555
The skillet was $4.20.
That's $11.70. Then you have...
306
00:26:36,628 --> 00:26:39,256
Have you ever been in the Orient, sir?
Huh?
307
00:26:39,330 --> 00:26:42,197
Have you ever been
in the Orient?
308
00:26:42,267 --> 00:26:44,201
No, I never have.
309
00:26:44,269 --> 00:26:47,261
That's amazing.
Simply amazing.
310
00:26:47,338 --> 00:26:51,104
Wong, observe the analytical mind
of the trained scientist.
311
00:26:51,176 --> 00:26:54,111
Skilled in the arts of mathematics,
physics, chemistry.
312
00:26:54,179 --> 00:26:58,343
Able to understand the machinations
of the Oriental calculating abacus.
313
00:26:58,416 --> 00:27:02,284
Run over those figures
for him again, Wong.
314
00:27:04,756 --> 00:27:06,747
Yeah. That's $47, all right.
315
00:27:06,825 --> 00:27:10,693
Extraordinary mind.
You, sir, are amazing.
316
00:27:10,762 --> 00:27:14,198
Now, let's put you into a wagon.
Right this way.
317
00:27:14,265 --> 00:27:16,233
Okay.
318
00:27:17,902 --> 00:27:20,063
You are indeed
a fortunate man!
319
00:27:20,138 --> 00:27:22,402
This is your lucky day!
320
00:27:22,473 --> 00:27:25,033
The wagon you are beholding...
soon to be yours...
321
00:27:25,109 --> 00:27:27,577
is the only one of its kind
west of the Mississippi.
322
00:27:27,645 --> 00:27:29,579
How much is it?
Built of the finest oak.
323
00:27:29,647 --> 00:27:32,480
Once owned by one of the
great pioneers of our west,
324
00:27:32,550 --> 00:27:35,610
the late Sir Lincoln Boone.
325
00:27:46,531 --> 00:27:51,059
I know this is no time
to bring this up, but how much is it?
326
00:27:51,135 --> 00:27:54,502
Excuse me. I'll let it go
for a hundred dollars.
327
00:27:54,572 --> 00:27:57,564
How much?
One hundred and fifty dollars.
328
00:27:57,642 --> 00:27:59,974
Now that seems
kind of expensive to me!
329
00:28:00,044 --> 00:28:04,105
Expensive? Too expensive
for a vehicle worthy of transporting...
330
00:28:04,182 --> 00:28:06,480
one of the great scientific minds
of our day?
331
00:28:06,551 --> 00:28:08,542
Sir, this wagon befits you.
332
00:28:08,620 --> 00:28:13,614
Wong, let us not forget. Our house is
honored by the presence of a physician.
333
00:28:16,127 --> 00:28:19,221
Uh, well... Now wait a...
That's enough. I, uh...
334
00:28:19,297 --> 00:28:22,164
Now listen, I think 150
will be okay. Sold!
335
00:28:22,233 --> 00:28:25,725
Wong, add that up.
Forty-seven and 150.
336
00:28:27,972 --> 00:28:30,805
That comes to $232.55.
337
00:28:30,875 --> 00:28:33,366
$232.55?
338
00:28:33,444 --> 00:28:35,412
That is correct.
339
00:28:36,447 --> 00:28:39,041
Well, figures don't lie.
340
00:28:39,117 --> 00:28:42,018
That's an even $250
with the territory tax.
341
00:28:42,086 --> 00:28:44,213
And that'll be cash,
of course.
342
00:28:44,289 --> 00:28:49,352
Territory tax?
343
00:28:49,427 --> 00:28:53,659
Gracias. It was a pleasure doing
business with you, sir. Chop-chop!
344
00:28:53,731 --> 00:28:56,461
Uh, I'll see you.
Oh, wait a minute!
345
00:28:56,534 --> 00:28:59,503
L-I almost forgot.
Well, what about the horses?
346
00:28:59,570 --> 00:29:03,802
Why, surely you jest. There hasn't been
a horse for sale in over three weeks.
347
00:29:03,875 --> 00:29:06,537
Wait a second!
If you didn't have any horses for sale,
348
00:29:06,611 --> 00:29:09,546
how come you sold me
that wagon and all that stuff?
349
00:29:09,614 --> 00:29:12,447
We just like to keep busy.
You have no right to...
350
00:29:12,517 --> 00:29:16,510
What time do you have, sir?
Huh? Oh, 5:30.
351
00:29:16,587 --> 00:29:19,715
We're closed. Well...
Now just wait a minute!
352
00:29:19,791 --> 00:29:23,158
Hold it! Hold it!
Hold it! Why, you...
353
00:29:23,227 --> 00:29:26,390
How am I gonna get out west
if I don't have any horses?
354
00:29:26,464 --> 00:29:29,558
You... You cheaters! Cheaters!
355
00:29:29,634 --> 00:29:33,570
Abacus cadabacus!
356
00:30:05,169 --> 00:30:07,501
{ Knocking]
357
00:30:13,678 --> 00:30:15,771
Mr. Huggins?
That's right.
358
00:30:15,847 --> 00:30:18,975
Penelope Cushings.
Won't you come in?
359
00:30:21,185 --> 00:30:23,449
What can I do for you,
Miss Cushings?
360
00:30:23,521 --> 00:30:26,888
First, I must warn you, I'm not
taking on any new clients.
361
00:30:26,958 --> 00:30:29,426
I expect to be
leaving town shortly.
362
00:30:29,494 --> 00:30:32,554
The moon is on the wane.
363
00:30:32,630 --> 00:30:34,564
You?
364
00:30:34,632 --> 00:30:37,157
You were looking
for a woman, weren't you?
365
00:30:37,235 --> 00:30:40,898
Well, yes, but you're...
Well, not like you.
366
00:30:40,972 --> 00:30:44,464
Expecting someone
a bit more horsey?
367
00:30:44,542 --> 00:30:46,476
Sort of.
368
00:30:46,544 --> 00:30:50,708
Well, I'm what they came up with,
so let's get down to business.
369
00:30:50,782 --> 00:30:54,548
We're to take the wagon train to San
Miguel with you posing as my wife.
370
00:30:54,619 --> 00:30:57,554
Oh?
Strictly federal business.
371
00:30:57,622 --> 00:31:00,420
Once there,
we get in touch with Will Banks.
372
00:31:00,491 --> 00:31:03,927
You've got a rig?
Waiting out in the staging area.
373
00:31:03,995 --> 00:31:07,021
Any notion as to how the rifles
are getting to the Indians?
374
00:31:07,098 --> 00:31:11,000
Nope. There could even be some
on the wagon train we're taking.
375
00:31:12,637 --> 00:31:16,232
Well, now, do you have everything you need?
Yes, I think so.
376
00:31:16,307 --> 00:31:19,799
Good. We'll leave
day after tomorrow at sunup.
377
00:31:19,877 --> 00:31:22,402
Strictly federal business?
378
00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:24,607
Strictly.
379
00:31:24,682 --> 00:31:26,741
Done and done.
380
00:31:40,698 --> 00:31:43,929
{ Gunshots]
381
00:31:46,504 --> 00:31:49,405
{ Dog Barking]
382
00:32:02,553 --> 00:32:06,014
That's Sam Huggins, the lawyer.
383
00:32:06,090 --> 00:32:07,114
Who did it?
384
00:32:07,139 --> 00:32:09,911
Shots came from across the street.
This fellow staggered in.
385
00:32:09,961 --> 00:32:12,828
- Did anybody call a doctor?
- Doc Gifford's out of town.
386
00:32:12,897 --> 00:32:16,094
Wait a minute. There's a doctor
right here in the hotel.
387
00:32:18,436 --> 00:32:21,928
Dr. Jesse W. Heywood.
Room three.
388
00:32:22,006 --> 00:32:24,440
Come on, Lyle!
Ernie, come on!
389
00:32:38,356 --> 00:32:42,417
Hurry it up!
He don't answer.
390
00:32:46,164 --> 00:32:49,565
Darn you, Lyle!
Dr. Heywood!
391
00:32:49,634 --> 00:32:52,262
Dr. Heywood!
Wake up! Wake up!
392
00:32:52,336 --> 00:32:54,531
{ Man Downstairs]
Let's go up there.!
393
00:32:54,605 --> 00:32:57,870
We're coming! Dr. Heywood, Dr.
Heywood! Please, wake up!
394
00:32:57,942 --> 00:33:01,434
Doctor, we have an
emergency in the lobby.
395
00:33:01,512 --> 00:33:04,743
Hmm. Emergency.
396
00:33:12,623 --> 00:33:15,649
Hmm? Yeah.
I'm awake. I'm awake.
397
00:33:24,268 --> 00:33:27,362
All right, everybody.
Stand back. Give this man air.
398
00:33:27,438 --> 00:33:30,407
He's probably got
a badly impacted wisdom tooth.
399
00:33:30,474 --> 00:33:32,772
You fool!
Here's the trouble.
400
00:33:47,458 --> 00:33:51,485
Hey, you sure handled that
nice last night, Doc.
401
00:34:00,204 --> 00:34:03,696
Uh... morning!
402
00:34:13,217 --> 00:34:18,052
Uh, look, I hope I didn't give
the hotel a bad name by fainting.
403
00:34:18,122 --> 00:34:20,750
I mean, I feel bad about that.
Makes me feel terrible.
404
00:34:20,825 --> 00:34:23,658
Your shoe's untied.
405
00:34:23,728 --> 00:34:26,754
Oh, yeah. Thank you.
Well, I'll just, uh...
406
00:34:26,831 --> 00:34:29,994
I'll, uh, tie it over here.
407
00:34:35,339 --> 00:34:38,274
Oh, uh... uh, ma'am?
408
00:34:38,342 --> 00:34:41,903
Ma'am? Wa...
Wait just...
409
00:34:41,979 --> 00:34:44,447
Just... wa...
410
00:34:47,918 --> 00:34:51,513
Uh, ma'am!
Oh, ma'am!
411
00:34:51,589 --> 00:34:54,581
Uh, ma'am.
Excuse me, ma'am.
412
00:34:54,659 --> 00:34:58,060
I just wanted to express
my deepest sympathy...
413
00:34:58,129 --> 00:35:00,290
and to apologize for, uh...
414
00:35:00,364 --> 00:35:03,162
well, what happened
to me there last night.
415
00:35:03,234 --> 00:35:06,533
See, actually I'm a dentist.
See, I'm not a doctor.
416
00:35:06,604 --> 00:35:09,266
And, well, when I see
something like that,
417
00:35:09,340 --> 00:35:11,638
I just sort of go all fuzzy.
418
00:35:11,709 --> 00:35:16,271
What's a tender ninny like you
doing out here in the first place?
419
00:35:18,115 --> 00:35:20,743
Uh, ma'am, uh...
420
00:35:20,818 --> 00:35:24,948
Now I realize that that may have come
about as a result of your grief.
421
00:35:25,022 --> 00:35:28,287
But I don't like to be
called a tender ninny.
422
00:35:28,359 --> 00:35:31,920
Tender ninny!
423
00:35:33,964 --> 00:35:36,558
Okay. All right.
Now, all right.
424
00:35:36,634 --> 00:35:40,798
I'm gonna tell you something.
I'm in teeth!
425
00:35:40,871 --> 00:35:43,625
And I came out here all
the way from Philadelphia
426
00:35:43,650 --> 00:35:45,798
single-handed to fight
oral ignorance!
427
00:35:45,843 --> 00:35:47,936
And I intend to go
further west!
428
00:35:48,012 --> 00:35:49,912
West is that way.
429
00:35:49,980 --> 00:35:52,608
West! And I'm gonna
find me a couple of horses,
430
00:35:52,683 --> 00:35:55,709
and I'm leaving on
the next wagon train out!
431
00:35:55,786 --> 00:35:58,220
Now what do you think
about that?
432
00:35:58,289 --> 00:36:02,885
Um, are you going to take your
tree and your dog along with you?
433
00:36:19,610 --> 00:36:22,545
{ Man] I'm sorry about your
husband passin'on, ma'am,
434
00:36:22,613 --> 00:36:24,706
but rules are rules
and I gotta stick to 'em.
435
00:36:24,782 --> 00:36:27,751
No women alone
on the wagon train.
436
00:36:27,818 --> 00:36:30,753
Uh, look, Mr. Welsh, I have got
to get on this wagon train.
437
00:36:30,821 --> 00:36:32,982
No single women.
Company rules.
438
00:36:33,057 --> 00:36:35,753
Well, I've got to find some way.
439
00:36:35,826 --> 00:36:40,286
The only thing I can recommend is you find
yourself a husband by 5:00 tomorrow mornin'.
440
00:36:40,364 --> 00:36:42,093
A husband?
Mm-hmm.
441
00:36:42,166 --> 00:36:46,660
All you need is somethin'
wearin' pants goin' that way.
442
00:36:48,239 --> 00:36:50,207
Uh, west is that...
443
00:36:52,376 --> 00:36:54,344
way.
444
00:37:32,216 --> 00:37:35,811
{ Knocking]
445
00:37:44,094 --> 00:37:46,028
Oh!
446
00:37:46,096 --> 00:37:49,395
Hello, Dentist.
447
00:37:49,467 --> 00:37:52,163
Hello!
448
00:37:52,236 --> 00:37:55,103
Uh... it's you!
449
00:37:55,172 --> 00:37:58,630
Aren't you going
to ask me to come in?
450
00:37:58,709 --> 00:38:03,408
Huh? Oh... Oh, sure!
Yeah! Come in, come in.
451
00:38:08,986 --> 00:38:12,615
Oh, uh...
I like to keep my hand in.
452
00:38:17,528 --> 00:38:19,894
I'm sorry to bother you like this,
453
00:38:19,964 --> 00:38:24,424
but I have a terrible toothache.
454
00:38:26,370 --> 00:38:28,770
Is it in your mouth?
Oh, yeah.
455
00:38:28,839 --> 00:38:30,773
It would be, wouldn't it?
456
00:38:30,841 --> 00:38:34,333
Sure. Well, you just
sit right down there,
457
00:38:34,411 --> 00:38:36,879
and we'll just take care of it.
458
00:38:36,947 --> 00:38:39,415
I probably should have
made an appointment.
459
00:38:39,483 --> 00:38:41,747
I realize how busy you must be.
460
00:38:41,819 --> 00:38:44,720
Oh, golly, heck!
There's always...
461
00:38:44,788 --> 00:38:48,053
always room for an emerg...
462
00:38:48,125 --> 00:38:50,525
Emergency.
463
00:38:58,435 --> 00:39:00,960
Uh...
464
00:39:01,038 --> 00:39:04,735
I'll just, uh...
465
00:39:04,808 --> 00:39:07,641
Wait a min... Uh, well...
466
00:39:09,947 --> 00:39:14,646
I'll tell you what. Could you just, uh...
open your mouth?
467
00:39:40,044 --> 00:39:43,480
Uh... l... I need my mirror.
468
00:39:43,547 --> 00:39:45,515
Oh.
469
00:39:47,985 --> 00:39:50,419
{ Mirror Shatters]
470
00:39:50,487 --> 00:39:52,682
That's okay.
471
00:39:53,924 --> 00:39:56,688
I'll get, uh...
get something else here.
472
00:39:56,760 --> 00:40:00,662
Oh, do you know something?
Hmm?
473
00:40:00,731 --> 00:40:04,189
When you turned away,
I noticed your profile.
474
00:40:04,268 --> 00:40:08,170
It's really very attractive.
475
00:40:08,238 --> 00:40:11,901
My profile?
476
00:40:11,976 --> 00:40:14,843
Well...
477
00:40:16,347 --> 00:40:18,281
Huh?
478
00:40:18,349 --> 00:40:22,979
Oh, your hands!
Oh, they're lovely!
479
00:40:23,053 --> 00:40:25,419
The hands of a surgeon.
480
00:40:25,489 --> 00:40:29,983
Yeah, well, my ha...
481
00:40:32,763 --> 00:40:35,129
Well, uh...
482
00:40:37,534 --> 00:40:41,231
hands have always
run in my family.
483
00:40:43,107 --> 00:40:45,302
Do you know what I think?
484
00:40:45,376 --> 00:40:47,310
Uh-uh.
485
00:40:47,378 --> 00:40:50,142
I think you're very nice.
486
00:40:50,214 --> 00:40:52,307
Do you know what I think?
487
00:40:52,383 --> 00:40:54,317
What?
488
00:40:54,385 --> 00:40:56,649
I think I might faint.
489
00:40:56,720 --> 00:40:58,153
Ohhh.
490
00:41:05,663 --> 00:41:08,826
How did a wonderful
professional man like you...
491
00:41:08,899 --> 00:41:12,733
escape marriage
all these years?
492
00:41:12,803 --> 00:41:17,934
Well, uh, I've always felt I was
a little too thin for marriage.
493
00:41:18,008 --> 00:41:19,942
Ohhh.
494
00:41:20,010 --> 00:41:24,674
And besides, m-my main mission
in life right now i-i-is to go west.
495
00:41:26,550 --> 00:41:29,110
How strange fate is!
496
00:41:29,186 --> 00:41:32,280
I, too, am alone
and going west.
497
00:41:32,356 --> 00:41:35,985
And suddenly,
out of the blue sky,
498
00:41:36,060 --> 00:41:38,927
I meet you.
499
00:41:40,197 --> 00:41:43,132
A big...
500
00:41:43,200 --> 00:41:46,033
tall...
501
00:41:46,103 --> 00:41:48,037
handsome...
502
00:41:48,105 --> 00:41:50,164
man!
503
00:41:55,045 --> 00:41:58,071
Now, wait a minute!
J-Just wait a minute!
504
00:41:58,148 --> 00:42:00,309
L-I don't even know you.
505
00:42:00,384 --> 00:42:02,909
I'm crazy about you.
Isn't that enough?
506
00:42:02,986 --> 00:42:06,979
Now then, the witnesses there, Mrs. Longbaugh
and Slosh White, are 25 cents each,
507
00:42:07,057 --> 00:42:09,491
payable immediately
following the ceremony.
508
00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:12,085
Fine. Speed it up.
The wagon train leaves in an hour.
509
00:42:12,162 --> 00:42:14,096
This is so sudden,
Miss Cushings.
510
00:42:14,164 --> 00:42:17,622
I mean, you just don't fix a tooth
one minute and get married the next.
511
00:42:17,701 --> 00:42:20,693
The song is 50 cents extra.
Would you like the song?
512
00:42:20,771 --> 00:42:22,500
Yes. Fine, fine.
513
00:42:24,274 --> 00:42:27,437
♪ Oh, promise me
that someday... ♪
514
00:42:27,511 --> 00:42:29,274
Let's go, Reverend!
515
00:42:29,346 --> 00:42:31,280
During the music?
Yes!
516
00:42:31,348 --> 00:42:33,942
Well, all right.
517
00:42:34,017 --> 00:42:36,383
Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here...
518
00:42:36,453 --> 00:42:38,512
Now wait a minute!
Hold it!
519
00:42:38,589 --> 00:42:41,683
I can't get married
without telling my mother.
520
00:42:41,759 --> 00:42:45,126
There isn't any time. We've
got to catch the wagon train,
521
00:42:45,195 --> 00:42:47,356
uh, uh, uh...
522
00:42:47,431 --> 00:42:49,626
Jesse.
Jesse.
523
00:42:49,700 --> 00:42:52,294
My mother will just
never forgive me for this.
524
00:42:52,369 --> 00:42:56,567
We are assembled here in the presence
of God to join together this man...
525
00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:59,336
Now wa... We're strangers.
You know that, don't you?
526
00:42:59,409 --> 00:43:01,741
I'd at least like you
to meet my mother.
527
00:43:01,812 --> 00:43:03,973
Speed it up, Reverend.
528
00:43:04,047 --> 00:43:07,016
He has instructed those who have
entered into this relationship, etc.
529
00:43:07,084 --> 00:43:09,609
That's not Episcopalian!
530
00:43:09,686 --> 00:43:11,745
By the authority invested
in me by the Church,
531
00:43:11,822 --> 00:43:14,188
I declare that you, Penelope,
and, uh, you, uh...
532
00:43:14,258 --> 00:43:16,590
Jesse.
533
00:43:16,660 --> 00:43:19,094
And you, Jesse,
are hereby man and wife.
534
00:43:19,163 --> 00:43:21,893
Attaboy, Reverend!
Now, just hold it!
535
00:43:21,965 --> 00:43:26,334
I don't feel at all that this is actually...
I mean, the whole... the thing...
536
00:43:26,403 --> 00:43:28,371
Mm-hmm.
537
00:43:37,681 --> 00:43:41,344
We'd better hurry if we want
to catch that wagon train.
538
00:43:47,024 --> 00:43:49,925
Well, well, well. You did it, ma'am.
What's the new name?
539
00:43:49,993 --> 00:43:51,500
Dr. And Mrs. Jesse W. Heywood.
540
00:43:51,525 --> 00:43:52,679
You ready to go?
541
00:43:52,729 --> 00:43:54,663
Wagons west!
542
00:43:54,731 --> 00:43:56,961
That's the ticket. Just pull up
behind that last wagon.
543
00:43:57,034 --> 00:43:59,502
Right.
544
00:43:59,570 --> 00:44:01,595
Nice going.
545
00:44:01,672 --> 00:44:05,130
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm just so darned excited.
546
00:44:08,712 --> 00:44:11,647
Mr. And Mrs. Hiram Remington.
Atlanta.
547
00:44:11,715 --> 00:44:15,242
Dr. And Mrs. Jesse W. Heywood.
Philadelphia.
548
00:44:20,624 --> 00:44:24,082
Dr. And Mrs. Jesse W. Heywood.
Philadelphia.
549
00:44:24,161 --> 00:44:29,098
Reverend Zachary Gant and my
loyal minion, Matthew Basch!
550
00:44:29,166 --> 00:44:31,794
Nice couple.
551
00:44:31,869 --> 00:44:35,600
Fix this crate. What are you trying
to do, get us thrown in jail?
552
00:44:35,672 --> 00:44:38,971
Aww, a "purty" little thing
like that and a derby dude,
553
00:44:39,042 --> 00:44:41,510
they ain't likely
to be federal men.
554
00:44:41,578 --> 00:44:43,808
We can't trust anybody.
555
00:44:43,881 --> 00:44:46,315
Now remember that!
Come on, fix it!
556
00:44:52,422 --> 00:44:54,447
Where's Willie?
557
00:44:54,524 --> 00:44:56,458
Beats me.
558
00:44:56,526 --> 00:44:59,290
Willie! Willie!
559
00:44:59,363 --> 00:45:01,957
Here, Ma.
560
00:45:02,032 --> 00:45:05,900
I told you to do that
before we left!
561
00:45:07,738 --> 00:45:09,672
Oh, boy!
562
00:45:09,740 --> 00:45:12,573
Keep your eye
on the road.
563
00:45:15,979 --> 00:45:18,675
I just can't believe it.
564
00:45:18,749 --> 00:45:21,547
Tonight's our wedding night.
565
00:45:25,889 --> 00:45:29,586
In a few hours,
we'll stop...
566
00:45:29,660 --> 00:45:31,958
make camp...
567
00:45:32,029 --> 00:45:35,328
have a little supper...
568
00:45:35,399 --> 00:45:38,027
then beddy-bye.
569
00:46:04,361 --> 00:46:08,092
♪
570
00:46:18,809 --> 00:46:21,744
I was in the same boat
as you 35 years ago.
571
00:46:21,812 --> 00:46:23,746
Is that right?
572
00:46:23,814 --> 00:46:26,749
I'll never forget my wedding
night as long as I live.
573
00:46:26,817 --> 00:46:29,047
I'll bet.
I cried like a baby.
574
00:46:34,658 --> 00:46:36,592
{ Woman]
Willie.!
575
00:46:36,660 --> 00:46:39,060
{ Willie]
Almost done, Ma.
576
00:46:49,006 --> 00:46:51,497
Penelope?
577
00:46:51,575 --> 00:46:54,772
Penelope?
578
00:46:54,845 --> 00:46:56,870
What do you want?
579
00:46:56,947 --> 00:46:59,916
Are you beddy-bye?
580
00:46:59,983 --> 00:47:02,781
I suppose so.
581
00:47:08,925 --> 00:47:11,189
Guard duty, Dr. Heywood.
582
00:47:11,261 --> 00:47:13,729
You're kidding!
583
00:47:18,735 --> 00:47:23,001
{ Coyote Howling]
584
00:47:23,073 --> 00:47:25,564
{ Howling Continues]
585
00:47:30,380 --> 00:47:33,816
A coyote.
586
00:47:39,956 --> 00:47:42,356
♪
587
00:47:47,631 --> 00:47:51,294
{ Rustling]
588
00:48:05,115 --> 00:48:07,743
Hoot owl.
589
00:48:17,060 --> 00:48:19,722
Aaah!
Scare ya?
590
00:48:19,796 --> 00:48:21,730
Heck no! You kiddin'?
591
00:48:21,798 --> 00:48:25,734
I come to relieve you, Doc. I reckon you
got some chores you want to fulfill, huh?
592
00:48:25,802 --> 00:48:28,327
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Thanks. Good luck.
593
00:48:47,691 --> 00:48:50,125
I'm back.
594
00:49:19,956 --> 00:49:22,117
You're soft.
595
00:49:22,192 --> 00:49:26,458
{ Men Snoring]
596
00:49:26,530 --> 00:49:29,055
{ Twig Snaps]
597
00:49:32,402 --> 00:49:35,200
{ Snoring Continues]
598
00:49:42,012 --> 00:49:46,676
Come on, you little dickins!
I'll find you!
599
00:49:50,053 --> 00:49:54,820
Come on now! Come on now!
Wh-Where ar... are you?
600
00:50:12,475 --> 00:50:15,410
Penny!
What are you doing?
601
00:50:15,478 --> 00:50:17,207
That you, Willie?
602
00:50:19,182 --> 00:50:22,151
What are you doing wandering around?
Shut up!
603
00:50:24,788 --> 00:50:27,723
{ Mr. Welsh]
What's going on here?
604
00:50:31,761 --> 00:50:34,753
I couldn't sleep,
so I decided to take a walk.
605
00:50:34,831 --> 00:50:36,958
That's all.
606
00:50:37,033 --> 00:50:41,470
Well, you'd be lonesome, too,
if your husband were on guard duty.
607
00:50:41,538 --> 00:50:43,870
It's our wedding night.
608
00:50:48,211 --> 00:50:51,703
Lovers' quarrel, that's all.
All right, back to bed.
609
00:50:53,149 --> 00:50:57,108
Gosh, honey, I didn't realize
you missed me so much.
610
00:50:58,989 --> 00:51:01,457
I wonder what she's up to.
611
00:51:01,524 --> 00:51:04,618
Don't you get it, Zack?
She's got the sweets on me.
612
00:51:04,694 --> 00:51:07,390
I have the same trouble
every place I go.
613
00:51:07,464 --> 00:51:10,865
Women just come runnin' after me,
wantin' to kiss me on the mouth.
614
00:51:36,092 --> 00:51:38,287
{ Bell Clanging]
615
00:51:38,361 --> 00:51:41,455
{ Mr. Welsh Shouting]
Everybody up.! Everybody up.!
616
00:53:01,177 --> 00:53:04,669
{ Indians Whooping]
617
00:53:09,986 --> 00:53:13,786
Indians! Indians!
618
00:53:15,325 --> 00:53:17,452
Hyah!
619
00:53:26,469 --> 00:53:28,403
What'll we do?
620
00:53:28,471 --> 00:53:31,133
Take cover and start
using that six-gun!
621
00:53:31,207 --> 00:53:34,199
{ Gunshots Continue]
622
00:54:58,728 --> 00:54:59,660
{ Gunshots]
They're Winchesters.
623
00:54:59,729 --> 00:55:01,663
The Heywood wagon.
It ain't with us.
624
00:55:01,731 --> 00:55:04,393
Remington! Tyler!
Some of you men, let's go!
625
00:55:13,643 --> 00:55:16,544
{ Penny]
Get back here, you idiot.!
626
00:55:36,933 --> 00:55:39,629
Bang.
{ Gunshot]
627
00:55:47,677 --> 00:55:50,578
Are you all right?
Uh-huh. Yeah. Fine.
628
00:55:50,647 --> 00:55:52,672
Uh, I didn't know
you could shoot like that.
629
00:55:52,749 --> 00:55:54,649
Huh, I didn't know it myself!
630
00:56:10,433 --> 00:56:12,560
Who'd have believed it?
631
00:56:12,635 --> 00:56:14,535
That Doc's a gutty little cuss.
632
00:56:31,821 --> 00:56:33,880
Which one's Doc Heywood?
Right there.
633
00:56:33,957 --> 00:56:35,891
There he is! Hey! Doc!
634
00:56:49,339 --> 00:56:51,273
The greatest!
Attaboy, Doc!
635
00:56:51,341 --> 00:56:54,333
To Doc Heywood,
Indian fighter!
636
00:56:56,045 --> 00:56:59,412
Say, Doc, tell us just how
you killed all them Indians.
637
00:56:59,482 --> 00:57:01,416
{ Bartender] Give him a chance to
clear the dust out of his throat.
638
00:57:01,484 --> 00:57:03,418
Come on, Doc.
Drink up.!
639
00:57:03,486 --> 00:57:07,422
Oh. Well.
640
00:57:07,490 --> 00:57:09,390
Hmm.
641
00:57:17,834 --> 00:57:20,860
It doesn't pay to drink
too fast when you're thirsty.
642
00:57:20,937 --> 00:57:22,837
That was good, though.
Was good.
643
00:57:25,208 --> 00:57:30,373
Say, Doc, now we hear tell that you
fell far behind the main wagon train.
644
00:57:30,446 --> 00:57:32,346
How did that happen?
645
00:57:34,317 --> 00:57:37,252
Well, I'll tell you.
646
00:57:37,320 --> 00:57:39,754
That was on purpose.
647
00:57:39,822 --> 00:57:42,848
There was a reason for that.
648
00:57:42,925 --> 00:57:46,383
You see, it was
all part of the plan.
649
00:57:46,462 --> 00:57:48,862
It was all
part of the plan!
650
00:57:50,633 --> 00:57:54,660
As I said,
it was all part of the plan.
651
00:57:54,737 --> 00:57:59,003
See, I'd been spotting their signs
for quite a while.
652
00:57:59,075 --> 00:58:03,512
He was a-spottin'
their signs!
653
00:58:03,579 --> 00:58:06,810
One, maybe two months.
654
00:58:06,883 --> 00:58:10,478
And then a plan began
a-formulatin' in my mind.
655
00:58:10,553 --> 00:58:13,454
Then a plan began
a-formulatin' in his mind!
656
00:58:16,125 --> 00:58:20,027
I figured I'd lay back a ways
and draw 'em off the main body.
657
00:58:22,632 --> 00:58:25,863
That was to give the wagon train
a chance to get away.
658
00:58:25,935 --> 00:58:28,836
Chance to get away! You wanna
let me tell this, fella?
659
00:58:33,009 --> 00:58:37,708
See, there's one thing you gotta
keep in mind about Indians.
660
00:58:37,780 --> 00:58:41,216
Them Indians is ten times
as scared as you are...
661
00:58:43,619 --> 00:58:46,747
Didn't mean to scare
Indian fighter.
662
00:58:46,823 --> 00:58:51,123
You character. One of ours.
663
00:58:56,432 --> 00:58:59,560
I wonder.
What?
664
00:58:59,635 --> 00:59:03,537
If that skinny little Philadelphia
jasper could be a federal agent.
665
00:59:05,742 --> 00:59:08,905
He sure looks like
a dentist to me.
666
00:59:08,978 --> 00:59:10,969
How would you know?
667
00:59:11,047 --> 00:59:13,811
You ain't never seen
a dentist in your life.
668
00:59:14,984 --> 00:59:17,885
No need to poke fun
at my only weak point.
669
00:59:25,795 --> 00:59:27,729
I don't know what
you're talking about, lady.
670
00:59:27,797 --> 00:59:30,061
I'm a roofer.
Been a roofer all my life.
671
00:59:30,133 --> 00:59:32,431
Don't know nothing
about the federal government.
672
00:59:32,502 --> 00:59:36,438
Sam Huggins would be talking
to you now, but they shot him.
673
00:59:38,407 --> 00:59:40,307
Get in the wagon.
674
01:00:11,541 --> 01:00:14,704
I knew it!
That whole dentist outfit was a dodge.
675
01:00:14,777 --> 01:00:17,371
Look at those clothes.
He's a gunny for sure.
676
01:00:39,635 --> 01:00:41,967
Yep, Matthew. That's our man.
We've gotta get rid of him.
677
01:00:42,038 --> 01:00:43,972
How you gonna do it?
678
01:00:44,040 --> 01:00:47,635
Simple. I'll have you pick a fight with him.
Gun him down in the street.
679
01:00:47,710 --> 01:00:51,840
Now, wait a minute, Reverend. I
ain't gonna tangle with him.
680
01:00:51,914 --> 01:00:54,439
What's the matter?
'Fraid he'll kill you?
681
01:00:54,517 --> 01:00:57,418
That's part of it. The main
thing is if he nicks me,
682
01:00:57,486 --> 01:01:00,455
why, the scar
will just ruin my looks.
683
01:01:21,444 --> 01:01:23,344
I'll get a professional.
684
01:01:25,014 --> 01:01:27,380
I hear that Arnold
the Kid's in town.
685
01:01:27,450 --> 01:01:29,884
Good!
686
01:01:29,952 --> 01:01:33,410
Heck, you're always better off
with a specialist, anyway.
687
01:01:33,489 --> 01:01:35,423
Yeah?
688
01:01:35,491 --> 01:01:38,790
Well, I'll sure know where to look
if I ever need a coward.
689
01:01:38,861 --> 01:01:40,761
Yep.
690
01:01:45,334 --> 01:01:48,735
Arnold, kill Heywood,
I'll give you $600.
691
01:01:51,474 --> 01:01:55,433
All right.
I'll give you $850.
692
01:01:58,414 --> 01:02:00,439
All right.
I'll give you $ 1,000.
693
01:02:25,908 --> 01:02:27,876
They told me this outfit
was an original.
694
01:02:27,944 --> 01:02:29,878
Get out of my way.
695
01:02:29,946 --> 01:02:31,880
What?
696
01:02:31,948 --> 01:02:34,746
You heard me.
Get out of my way!
697
01:02:35,952 --> 01:02:38,546
Well, now. Just who
do you think you are?
698
01:02:39,989 --> 01:02:41,889
Arnold the Kid.
699
01:02:45,194 --> 01:02:47,719
Doc the Heywood.
700
01:02:48,831 --> 01:02:50,799
That name don't scare you?
701
01:02:54,070 --> 01:02:58,029
It scares me this much.
702
01:03:22,131 --> 01:03:24,224
All right, Mr. Kid.
703
01:03:24,300 --> 01:03:26,325
Now you've gone
just a little bit too far.
704
01:03:26,402 --> 01:03:28,370
You're really asking for it.
705
01:03:29,572 --> 01:03:31,506
Make your play!
706
01:03:31,574 --> 01:03:34,600
I'll make my play.
I'll make my play.
707
01:03:40,016 --> 01:03:41,950
Ippity-doo, kanaba dip,
708
01:03:42,018 --> 01:03:45,146
double dare,
knock off the chip!
709
01:03:45,221 --> 01:03:47,155
Now, what's this all about?
710
01:03:47,223 --> 01:03:50,056
You wanna know what that's all about?
I'll tell you what that's all about.
711
01:03:50,126 --> 01:03:53,254
You knock off that chip
and you'll see what it's all about.
712
01:03:59,301 --> 01:04:01,235
{ Chip Hits Ground]
713
01:04:03,305 --> 01:04:05,398
Uh-huh. Okay.
All right.
714
01:04:05,474 --> 01:04:07,738
Okay. I'm gonna tell you
something right now.
715
01:04:07,810 --> 01:04:10,904
You just happen to know what I did?
Do you happen to know what I did?
716
01:04:10,980 --> 01:04:12,914
Well, I'll tell you what I did!
717
01:04:12,982 --> 01:04:16,315
I killed twelve Indians
and two horses in one fight.
718
01:04:16,385 --> 01:04:19,115
Now, how do you like
those bananas?
719
01:04:23,259 --> 01:04:25,284
Pass the word to clear the street.
720
01:04:25,361 --> 01:04:27,761
I'll meet you here in half an hour.
721
01:04:32,768 --> 01:04:34,668
Wear your gun.
722
01:04:59,962 --> 01:05:03,762
Hey, I think you might have
something with that Minister Gant.
723
01:05:03,833 --> 01:05:06,165
They checked on him back East,
and he ain't no Pentecostal.
724
01:05:06,235 --> 01:05:08,169
And he sure ain't no Mormon.
725
01:05:08,237 --> 01:05:11,729
They couldn't find one persuasion
that ever heard tell of him.
726
01:05:11,807 --> 01:05:15,004
Those Bible boxes
were sure long and heavy.
727
01:05:15,077 --> 01:05:18,205
Hey, maybe you and your husband
could scout around the church.
728
01:05:18,280 --> 01:05:20,214
See what's in them boxes.
729
01:05:21,283 --> 01:05:23,513
Forget my husband.
730
01:05:23,586 --> 01:05:27,750
He's just some Philadelphia jay
I got tied up with to get me out here.
731
01:05:27,823 --> 01:05:30,291
The sooner I get rid of him,
the better.
732
01:05:30,359 --> 01:05:32,987
Appears to me like
he could be of some help.
733
01:05:33,062 --> 01:05:35,189
I hear he's pretty good
with a six-gun.
734
01:05:37,867 --> 01:05:39,926
{ Wind Blowing, Whistling]
735
01:06:23,145 --> 01:06:25,079
What's going on?
736
01:06:25,147 --> 01:06:27,377
That's Heywood
out there practicing.
737
01:06:27,449 --> 01:06:29,383
I heard two shots.
738
01:06:30,586 --> 01:06:33,180
That means, uh,
he's got four to go.
739
01:06:58,347 --> 01:06:59,780
{ Bullet Ricochets]
740
01:06:59,848 --> 01:07:01,782
{ Dog Yelps]
741
01:07:29,178 --> 01:07:32,978
That's six. Call him out.
742
01:07:40,122 --> 01:07:42,352
Heywood!
743
01:07:44,693 --> 01:07:46,627
Did you want me for something?
744
01:07:48,664 --> 01:07:50,859
It's been exactly a half hour.
745
01:07:50,933 --> 01:07:53,595
Mm-hmm.
746
01:08:08,183 --> 01:08:10,117
{ Wind Whistling]
747
01:08:24,400 --> 01:08:28,996
Heywood, I'm even gonna
let you draw first.
748
01:08:30,673 --> 01:08:32,607
Thank you.
749
01:08:43,652 --> 01:08:46,416
Oooh! Aah!
750
01:08:51,493 --> 01:08:54,291
A seven-shooter?
751
01:09:08,243 --> 01:09:10,177
Hey! Great! Attaboy!
752
01:09:12,948 --> 01:09:15,382
What'd you do that for?
753
01:09:15,451 --> 01:09:17,612
I thought you wanted
to get rid of that jay.
754
01:09:19,888 --> 01:09:23,324
I don't know.
Something just come over me.
755
01:09:26,595 --> 01:09:29,325
Great work, Doc.
You showed them.
756
01:09:29,398 --> 01:09:32,299
Atta way, Doc.
Boy, you sure are something.
757
01:09:34,870 --> 01:09:37,566
Excuse me.
Excuse me, fellas. Excuse me.
758
01:09:37,639 --> 01:09:40,540
Uh, Penny!
Penny!
759
01:09:40,609 --> 01:09:43,305
Did you hear about it?
I heard.
760
01:09:43,379 --> 01:09:45,870
'Bout the only thing that saved me
was the old killer instinct.
761
01:09:45,948 --> 01:09:47,882
Uh-huh.
762
01:09:47,950 --> 01:09:51,511
What about supper?
I've got something to do. I'll see you later.
763
01:09:51,587 --> 01:09:54,215
But I ain't seen you all day.
Doc Heywood! The sheriff wants you!
764
01:09:54,289 --> 01:09:56,223
Who?
The sheriff wants to see you.
765
01:09:56,291 --> 01:09:58,725
Just a minute, son. Penny, look...
He says it's important!
766
01:10:00,796 --> 01:10:04,061
Well, all right. Where are you gonna be later?
I'll be around.
767
01:10:04,133 --> 01:10:06,465
Yeah.
768
01:10:06,535 --> 01:10:09,299
Darn women. So excitable.
769
01:10:11,740 --> 01:10:13,674
{ Man]
Whenever you're ready, Leonard.
770
01:10:13,742 --> 01:10:15,710
Hold it like that now.
771
01:10:15,778 --> 01:10:17,973
That's dandy.
772
01:10:18,046 --> 01:10:20,344
Thank you.
773
01:10:20,416 --> 01:10:22,884
There. That'll be
a real nice picture for us.
774
01:10:22,951 --> 01:10:26,318
The man who got Arnold the Kid.
Well.
775
01:10:26,388 --> 01:10:28,322
I guess we don't need this anymore.
776
01:10:28,390 --> 01:10:30,950
Oh, say. Can I have that? I'd kind
of like to keep it for a souvenir.
777
01:10:31,026 --> 01:10:32,960
Sure, Doc.
Help yourself.
778
01:10:33,028 --> 01:10:35,792
Leonard, get that picture
developed as soon as you can.
779
01:10:35,864 --> 01:10:37,798
Here, you want me
to give you a hand with this?
780
01:10:37,866 --> 01:10:39,800
{ Leonard]
Yes, please.
781
01:10:51,113 --> 01:10:53,377
There we are.
782
01:10:53,449 --> 01:10:55,383
Oh. Excuse me.
783
01:11:06,862 --> 01:11:09,922
Uh, have you seen
this "ladiola"?
784
01:11:09,998 --> 01:11:12,899
Ah, si, si.!
Senora dentista. Aqui.
785
01:11:12,968 --> 01:11:14,902
The church?
Aqui.
786
01:11:14,970 --> 01:11:17,131
Gracias, senor.
787
01:11:29,151 --> 01:11:31,381
Penny!
788
01:11:31,453 --> 01:11:33,648
Hold it!
What's the matter?
789
01:11:33,722 --> 01:11:36,156
Thought I heard
something.
790
01:11:36,225 --> 01:11:39,353
Penny!
{ Floorboard Creaks]
791
01:11:40,996 --> 01:11:43,590
{ Floorboard Creaks]
792
01:11:43,665 --> 01:11:45,599
{ Footsteps]
793
01:12:05,554 --> 01:12:07,488
{ Bells Ring]
794
01:12:07,556 --> 01:12:09,490
Oooh! Aah!
795
01:12:27,142 --> 01:12:30,077
Penny!
{ Penny] Shut up.!
796
01:12:39,588 --> 01:12:41,818
Penny!
Keep it quiet!
797
01:12:43,892 --> 01:12:45,826
I've been looking
all over town for you.
798
01:12:45,894 --> 01:12:48,454
What do you want?
799
01:12:48,530 --> 01:12:50,760
Is that you?
800
01:12:50,832 --> 01:12:52,766
Yes, that's me.
801
01:12:52,834 --> 01:12:55,234
I'll explain one of these days,
but not right now.
802
01:12:57,239 --> 01:12:59,173
I can't believe this!
I just can't...
803
01:12:59,241 --> 01:13:02,074
You mean you're a thief? A cattle rustler?
What's this all about?
804
01:13:02,144 --> 01:13:05,739
I'll explain it later. Right now
I'm on government business.
805
01:13:05,814 --> 01:13:08,874
Like what? Like stealing rifles
from a nice church?
806
01:13:08,951 --> 01:13:10,942
Shhh!
807
01:13:12,421 --> 01:13:14,753
It's her. She's the agent. Let's get her.
808
01:13:14,823 --> 01:13:18,122
No. Not now. Let's wait till
Doc Heywood ain't here.
809
01:13:18,193 --> 01:13:20,127
Come on. Out.
810
01:13:20,195 --> 01:13:23,130
It's really none of your business.
Now, let's get out of here.
811
01:13:28,804 --> 01:13:31,337
Government business? What
kind of government business?
812
01:13:31,362 --> 01:13:32,559
Hold your voice down!
813
01:13:32,608 --> 01:13:35,042
But I don't get it.
One minute you're a bank robber,
814
01:13:35,110 --> 01:13:37,044
the next minute
you're working for the government.
815
01:13:37,112 --> 01:13:40,172
All right. It's true.
816
01:13:40,248 --> 01:13:42,773
I am Bad Penny Cushings.
817
01:13:42,851 --> 01:13:45,945
But the government said they'd clean up
my record if I did this job for them.
818
01:13:46,021 --> 01:13:47,955
What job?
819
01:13:48,023 --> 01:13:49,957
I can't tell you any more.
820
01:13:54,129 --> 01:13:56,563
Now, look. I don't know
if you realize it,
821
01:13:56,632 --> 01:13:59,157
but our marriage
is getting pretty shaky.
822
01:13:59,234 --> 01:14:01,202
Now, I want to know
what's going on.
823
01:14:01,269 --> 01:14:03,203
All right.
824
01:14:03,271 --> 01:14:05,671
Now, can I count on you to keep this quiet?
Of course!
825
01:14:05,741 --> 01:14:08,369
Hold your voice down.
Of course.
826
01:14:08,443 --> 01:14:10,377
The government
promised me amnesty...
827
01:14:10,445 --> 01:14:13,710
if I found out who's
smuggling rifles to the Indians.
828
01:14:13,782 --> 01:14:15,807
It's Gant and Basch!
829
01:14:15,884 --> 01:14:17,875
Gant and Basch?
830
01:14:17,953 --> 01:14:20,183
The minister and
his loyal minion?
831
01:14:20,255 --> 01:14:23,190
He's no minister.
And he's no minion.
832
01:14:36,004 --> 01:14:38,905
I don't know, Penny.
Everything's just moving too fast.
833
01:14:38,974 --> 01:14:41,534
First you came to me
with a toothache; we got married;
834
01:14:41,610 --> 01:14:44,602
we got on the wagon train;
bang, bang, bang; hurray, hurray.
835
01:14:44,680 --> 01:14:48,013
Then I found out you're a crook. Then you're not
a crook, you're working with the government.
836
01:14:48,083 --> 01:14:50,483
Everything's just moving too fast.
837
01:14:50,552 --> 01:14:53,521
{ Penny] Poor little dude.
You're tired, aren't you?
838
01:14:53,588 --> 01:14:55,522
Mm-hmm.
839
01:14:55,590 --> 01:14:58,889
Well, I think the best thing to do
is to go to bed.
840
01:14:58,960 --> 01:15:00,894
Huh?
841
01:15:00,962 --> 01:15:04,557
I said I think the best thing to do
is to go to bed.
842
01:15:06,101 --> 01:15:08,035
Are you changing?
843
01:15:08,103 --> 01:15:10,503
Uh-huh.
844
01:15:12,140 --> 01:15:14,074
I'll just change
in the closet.
845
01:15:24,519 --> 01:15:26,453
♪
846
01:15:40,035 --> 01:15:41,969
♪
847
01:16:03,525 --> 01:16:05,993
You can't sleep like that!
Those spurs'll kill me!
848
01:16:06,061 --> 01:16:08,359
I've got to get to Fort Tyler
to get the military.
849
01:16:08,430 --> 01:16:11,490
But you said...
I mean, I thought that we...
850
01:16:11,566 --> 01:16:13,500
Fort Tyler?
851
01:16:13,568 --> 01:16:17,664
Don't you understand? If the Indians get
those rifles, they'll wipe out this town.
852
01:16:17,739 --> 01:16:20,037
Oh. Yeah.
853
01:16:20,108 --> 01:16:23,839
Yeah, well, I better come with you. I'm
pretty handy with a gun, you know.
854
01:16:23,912 --> 01:16:28,110
I'm afraid not, dentist. You couldn't
hit a bleeding elephant in the snow.
855
01:16:28,183 --> 01:16:30,117
Are you kiddin'?
856
01:16:30,185 --> 01:16:33,348
Twelve Indians, two horses
and Arnold the Kid.
857
01:16:33,421 --> 01:16:35,355
Look, you might
as well know.
858
01:16:35,423 --> 01:16:37,823
I shot the Indians
from inside the wagon.
859
01:16:37,893 --> 01:16:40,361
And Arnold the Kid
from the window.
860
01:16:41,963 --> 01:16:43,897
What?
861
01:16:43,965 --> 01:16:46,365
You mean, I didn't...
862
01:16:46,434 --> 01:16:49,926
I mean, none of those...
863
01:16:50,005 --> 01:16:52,940
Nobody?
Nobody.
864
01:16:58,580 --> 01:17:00,878
I'm sorry to have
to tell you that, dentist.
865
01:17:00,949 --> 01:17:03,281
But I wouldn't want you
to come with me.
866
01:17:03,351 --> 01:17:05,285
You might get hurt.
867
01:17:06,888 --> 01:17:08,822
Are you coming back?
868
01:17:08,890 --> 01:17:12,155
I'm afraid not.
But...
869
01:17:12,227 --> 01:17:14,718
But you're my wife.
870
01:17:16,131 --> 01:17:18,190
That was just to get
on the wagon train.
871
01:17:22,037 --> 01:17:23,971
I'm sorry.
872
01:17:30,412 --> 01:17:33,313
Vaya con Dios, amigo.
873
01:17:37,719 --> 01:17:39,653
Gracias.
874
01:17:47,095 --> 01:17:49,029
There he is! Hey!
875
01:18:02,077 --> 01:18:04,545
Attaboy!
All the way down!
876
01:18:09,451 --> 01:18:11,885
Hold it, please.
Just a minute.
877
01:18:13,655 --> 01:18:18,490
Uh, there's something that l...
878
01:18:18,560 --> 01:18:20,494
I have to tell you.
879
01:18:20,562 --> 01:18:22,496
Come on, Doc.
Speak up.
880
01:18:28,603 --> 01:18:30,537
No. No more.
881
01:18:33,508 --> 01:18:37,342
Now, I don't want you to think
that I'm not grateful for the drinks,
882
01:18:37,412 --> 01:18:41,246
and for your all being
so nice and everything.
883
01:18:41,316 --> 01:18:45,753
But, uh, well, I'm just
gonna tell you straight out.
884
01:18:48,456 --> 01:18:54,292
Doc the Heywood,
the well-known Indian fighter,
885
01:18:54,362 --> 01:18:56,830
is a fake.
886
01:18:57,966 --> 01:19:01,367
It's true! It is absolutely true!
887
01:19:01,436 --> 01:19:05,463
Just as long as I'm standing here,
right here, right now. It's the truth.
888
01:19:05,540 --> 01:19:07,735
Well, Doc, somebody killed
them dozen Indians.
889
01:19:07,809 --> 01:19:09,743
Now, who killed 'em?
890
01:19:10,912 --> 01:19:13,005
My wife.
891
01:19:13,081 --> 01:19:16,073
{ Laughing, Protesting]
Just a second.!
892
01:19:16,151 --> 01:19:18,984
Just a second.
Hold 'er up.
893
01:19:19,054 --> 01:19:22,615
You got the Kid because we all seen it.
Right!
894
01:19:22,691 --> 01:19:26,821
You got him... zang! With one shot
while you was a-fallin' down!
895
01:19:26,895 --> 01:19:28,829
That's right!
Clean shot!
896
01:19:28,897 --> 01:19:30,831
My wife got him
from a window.
897
01:19:30,899 --> 01:19:35,165
I wasted all my shots like a darned dumbbell!
Don't you remember?
898
01:19:37,205 --> 01:19:40,197
I shot two at the can,
899
01:19:40,275 --> 01:19:42,573
two at the sign,
900
01:19:42,644 --> 01:19:44,669
one at the skillet...
901
01:19:47,148 --> 01:19:49,207
and one in the pants.
902
01:19:51,619 --> 01:19:53,780
All right now!
Hold it! Hold it!
903
01:19:53,855 --> 01:19:57,256
I was watchin' the whole thing.
Now, let's see. There was, uh,
904
01:19:57,325 --> 01:20:00,419
there was two at the can,
905
01:20:00,495 --> 01:20:02,656
two at the sign,
906
01:20:02,731 --> 01:20:06,326
one at the skillet...
907
01:20:06,401 --> 01:20:08,631
and one in the pants.
908
01:20:08,703 --> 01:20:10,830
Two in the can,
909
01:20:10,905 --> 01:20:14,170
two at the sign,
one at the skillet...
910
01:20:14,242 --> 01:20:17,575
and one in the pants.
911
01:20:51,880 --> 01:20:55,338
Oh! Oh!
Help! Aaah!
912
01:20:56,418 --> 01:20:58,852
Failure, failure, failure.
913
01:20:58,920 --> 01:21:02,287
Failure, failure,
failure, failure.
914
01:21:02,357 --> 01:21:05,485
That's the story
of my life, you know.
915
01:21:05,560 --> 01:21:10,429
Two things have always
been my downfall.
916
01:21:11,499 --> 01:21:14,696
I have always been...
917
01:21:14,769 --> 01:21:17,863
the most failure
of anybody,
918
01:21:17,939 --> 01:21:21,375
and I'm too thin.
919
01:21:21,443 --> 01:21:23,934
I don't think you're too thin.
920
01:21:24,012 --> 01:21:27,641
It's all bloat.
921
01:21:27,715 --> 01:21:31,276
Bloated thin failure!
That's me!
922
01:21:31,352 --> 01:21:34,082
I think you're wonderful.
923
01:21:34,155 --> 01:21:36,749
I just love a man
that can't make his...
924
01:21:36,825 --> 01:21:38,759
mark in life.
925
01:21:40,962 --> 01:21:45,990
Penny, hmm. Penny, she's really
somethin', you know that?
926
01:21:46,067 --> 01:21:48,763
Mmm-mm.
Mmm.
927
01:21:48,837 --> 01:21:50,771
And she used me.
928
01:21:50,839 --> 01:21:54,536
And she... she tricked me.
929
01:21:54,609 --> 01:21:57,373
She made me think...
930
01:21:57,445 --> 01:21:59,413
that she loved me.
931
01:21:59,481 --> 01:22:01,813
Aww.
932
01:22:03,318 --> 01:22:05,752
I should've known better.
933
01:22:07,956 --> 01:22:10,390
Nobody ever loved me.
934
01:22:12,227 --> 01:22:17,028
Did you know I had to take my own
cousin to the graduation dance?
935
01:22:18,099 --> 01:22:20,124
Awww.
936
01:22:22,337 --> 01:22:24,498
I threw up on her dress.
937
01:22:24,572 --> 01:22:29,009
You are really my kind of guy.
938
01:22:39,154 --> 01:22:42,385
I got on a romance track.
939
01:22:42,457 --> 01:22:45,392
Then I got
on a gunslinger's track.
940
01:22:46,828 --> 01:22:49,763
I gotta get back
on that dentist's track.
941
01:22:52,967 --> 01:22:55,435
Go ahead. Laugh!
942
01:22:55,503 --> 01:22:58,199
Laugh all you like.
943
01:22:58,273 --> 01:23:00,332
I'm not a failure.
944
01:23:00,408 --> 01:23:02,899
I'm a dentist!
945
01:23:02,977 --> 01:23:05,741
A real dentist.
946
01:23:05,813 --> 01:23:09,977
And I'll tell you
what I'm gonna do.
947
01:23:10,051 --> 01:23:15,114
I'm gonna spread dental health
through the West like a plague!
948
01:23:17,358 --> 01:23:19,826
Come on. I wanna close up.
949
01:23:27,035 --> 01:23:28,969
Good night, Doc.
950
01:23:34,142 --> 01:23:38,078
Brush your dentist twice a day.
Visit your toothbrush once a year.
951
01:23:56,030 --> 01:23:58,555
Hyah!
952
01:23:58,633 --> 01:24:01,397
{ Heywood]
Penny.!
953
01:24:01,469 --> 01:24:03,403
Penny!
954
01:24:07,642 --> 01:24:09,576
Penny! Pen...
955
01:24:56,524 --> 01:24:58,458
Water.
956
01:25:19,947 --> 01:25:22,347
Uh!
957
01:25:22,417 --> 01:25:24,351
Uh!
958
01:25:32,327 --> 01:25:35,490
Water. Water.
959
01:25:35,563 --> 01:25:38,225
I gotta have water. L...
960
01:26:06,060 --> 01:26:08,995
Water. I gotta have water.
961
01:26:23,644 --> 01:26:26,670
Uh! Air! I gotta have air!
962
01:26:26,748 --> 01:26:28,682
Air!
963
01:26:39,961 --> 01:26:41,895
{ Banging Drums]
964
01:26:46,601 --> 01:26:48,535
{ Indians Singing]
965
01:27:07,422 --> 01:27:09,356
{ Girls Laughing]
966
01:27:31,012 --> 01:27:33,947
{ Giggling, Frolicking Continue]
967
01:27:44,091 --> 01:27:46,025
{ Banging Drums, Whooping]
968
01:28:43,784 --> 01:28:45,718
{ Banging Drums,
Whooping Continue]
969
01:29:14,282 --> 01:29:16,216
Penny! Penny!
970
01:29:18,286 --> 01:29:21,221
Watay. Watay.!
971
01:29:26,561 --> 01:29:28,495
Watay.
972
01:29:38,306 --> 01:29:41,537
Watay. Watay.
973
01:29:41,609 --> 01:29:44,237
Watay.
974
01:29:44,312 --> 01:29:46,246
Watay.
975
01:29:51,385 --> 01:29:53,319
How many did we give out?
976
01:29:53,387 --> 01:29:56,254
That tallies 181.
977
01:30:05,533 --> 01:30:08,001
That girl. I think I know her.
978
01:30:08,069 --> 01:30:10,003
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
979
01:30:10,071 --> 01:30:12,665
Isn't that
Laughing Deer's daughter?
980
01:30:12,740 --> 01:30:16,506
No. The Deer girl
married White Antelope.
981
01:30:16,577 --> 01:30:20,638
Rotten Buffalo's cousin? Ohhh!
982
01:30:27,622 --> 01:30:29,556
Ah wan no.
983
01:30:41,102 --> 01:30:44,503
Ah wan no.
984
01:30:47,642 --> 01:30:50,133
Watay.
985
01:30:52,079 --> 01:30:54,013
Watay?
986
01:31:39,293 --> 01:31:41,227
{ Banging Drums
Gunshots, Whooping]
987
01:31:47,735 --> 01:31:51,535
Ah. Ah. Watay?
988
01:31:51,605 --> 01:31:54,039
Watay?
Uh-huh watay.!
989
01:32:02,416 --> 01:32:05,146
Dentist, you're crazy!
Are you all right?
990
01:32:05,219 --> 01:32:08,518
Except for these bindings.
They're killing my hands.
991
01:32:08,589 --> 01:32:11,922
I figure the best time to get out
is after they all get a little drunker.
992
01:32:11,992 --> 01:32:13,926
You know something?
993
01:32:13,994 --> 01:32:16,554
You're a lot spunkier
than I thought you were.
994
01:32:16,630 --> 01:32:19,064
I get that
from my mother.
995
01:32:21,035 --> 01:32:23,128
{ Footsteps]
996
01:32:26,340 --> 01:32:28,774
Sat tey wahn ney.!
997
01:32:34,582 --> 01:32:36,812
He's crazy about me.
998
01:32:36,884 --> 01:32:38,818
Sat tey wahn ney.!
999
01:32:38,886 --> 01:32:40,911
Looks like we're going dancing.
1000
01:33:13,687 --> 01:33:15,621
{ Gunshots, Whooping Continue]
1001
01:34:38,639 --> 01:34:42,507
Here. We're gonna need this
when we make our break.
1002
01:34:42,576 --> 01:34:44,510
Be careful.
1003
01:34:59,093 --> 01:35:02,187
Put me down!
1004
01:35:27,554 --> 01:35:29,488
Reverend.
Minion.
1005
01:35:30,557 --> 01:35:34,425
Well, now.
If it ain't Doc Heywood,
1006
01:35:34,495 --> 01:35:36,986
gunfighter.
1007
01:35:40,501 --> 01:35:43,129
Phony gunfighter.
1008
01:35:45,005 --> 01:35:48,805
Say, Doc. How 'bout us
havin' a real gunfight, huh?
1009
01:35:48,876 --> 01:35:53,336
And to make it even, it'll be just you
against me and the good Reverend here.
1010
01:35:53,414 --> 01:35:56,781
Now, uh, what do you
think about that?
1011
01:35:58,018 --> 01:36:00,350
You wanna know
what I think about that?
1012
01:36:00,421 --> 01:36:03,356
Well, I'll just show you
what I think about that.
1013
01:36:07,261 --> 01:36:10,196
Well.
1014
01:36:23,777 --> 01:36:26,007
Put it on, Heywood.
1015
01:36:51,805 --> 01:36:53,796
Anytime you're ready,
Heywood.
1016
01:37:06,086 --> 01:37:08,020
We've got horses right back
there, Penny. Let's go.
1017
01:37:08,088 --> 01:37:10,716
Let me go! Jesse's out there.
{ Gunshots]
1018
01:37:10,791 --> 01:37:12,725
Oh, Jesse!
1019
01:37:15,029 --> 01:37:16,963
Let's go.
1020
01:37:41,255 --> 01:37:43,621
Watay?
1021
01:37:51,432 --> 01:37:53,559
Rider coming in!
1022
01:38:03,844 --> 01:38:05,778
Get ready.
They're comin'!
1023
01:38:05,846 --> 01:38:09,873
Get the women and the kids back into the church.
Get back in the church!
1024
01:38:22,196 --> 01:38:25,927
Well, they're sure takin'
their sweet time about it.
1025
01:38:25,999 --> 01:38:27,933
Devils!
Hold it.
1026
01:38:35,809 --> 01:38:37,640
What the...
1027
01:38:40,881 --> 01:38:44,317
Doc Heywood's with 'em.
He sure is.
1028
01:38:44,384 --> 01:38:46,784
Open up, boys.
Everything's under control.
1029
01:38:49,823 --> 01:38:51,757
Jesse! You're alive!
1030
01:38:51,825 --> 01:38:53,759
Yeah! I know.
1031
01:38:56,930 --> 01:39:00,627
Take my friend Black Eagle
and fix him up with a big rare steak!
1032
01:39:00,701 --> 01:39:03,135
{ Laughter]
1033
01:39:04,805 --> 01:39:08,138
Adjustments are free up to 60 days.
After that, it's a dollar a visit.
1034
01:39:12,679 --> 01:39:14,613
I'm so glad you're back.
1035
01:39:14,681 --> 01:39:16,615
Me too!
1036
01:39:34,801 --> 01:39:36,735
Oh, come on, now.
1037
01:39:36,803 --> 01:39:39,966
Come... Come on!
Wait a minute! Wait...
1038
01:40:35,803 --> 01:40:36,803
.
76237
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