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Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
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FRANKIE: When you're cooking
for Thanksgiving,
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00:00:05,448 --> 00:00:07,081
timing is everything.
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00:00:07,183 --> 00:00:08,749
You want to wait till that perfect moment
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00:00:08,851 --> 00:00:10,017
when the center is warm
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00:00:10,119 --> 00:00:13,320
and the edges are crispy
and golden-brown.
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[SIGHS]
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I might have left it in too long.
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So, we're finally eating that?
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We're almost that poor, but not yet.
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No, this is my Thanksgiving tradition.
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I heat the quilt in the oven
till it's warm enough
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for the sweet potatoes to go in,
and then the warm quilt
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00:00:26,669 --> 00:00:27,868
helps my stiff neck.
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00:00:27,970 --> 00:00:30,437
When you have a 30-year-old
pillow, you need that.
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00:00:30,540 --> 00:00:31,906
And a 50-year-old neck.
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00:00:32,008 --> 00:00:34,108
Okay, it's Thanksgiving. Pace yourself.
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00:00:34,210 --> 00:00:36,243
Once we get to Janet's,
we have to look like
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00:00:36,268 --> 00:00:38,469
the happiest married couple on Earth.
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00:00:38,648 --> 00:00:40,881
That would be a lot easier to do
if we weren't at Janet's.
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Hey, it's not my first choice, either,
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but it's closest to mom and dad's,
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so that's where we're doing it.
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Get these away from me.
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Look at this. Did you charge $4.75
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00:00:51,750 --> 00:00:54,251
to some place called RNJ?
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RNJ?
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Yeah. That doesn't ring a bell.
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00:00:57,156 --> 00:00:58,622
What day was it?
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00:00:58,801 --> 00:01:01,001
November 7th.
What were you doing that day?
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00:01:01,103 --> 00:01:03,170
I don't know. What do we do every day?
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Probably watching TV.
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Are you sure it wasn't yours?
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Not mine.
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00:01:07,009 --> 00:01:08,108
This seems like one of those fraud things
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00:01:08,133 --> 00:01:10,133
where they steal your number
and do some little
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test charge before they go wild
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and buy a bunch of flat screen TVs.
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I had better call
the credit-card company.
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00:01:16,419 --> 00:01:18,018
This could take a while, so I don't know
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00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:20,054
if I'm gonna be able to make it
to Janet's for dinner.
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Nice try. You're going.
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00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:25,993
?
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00:01:26,095 --> 00:01:29,172
Keyshawn, your potato is ready.
Your potato is ready, Keyshawn.
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Enjoy your Thanksgiving potato.
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And come back tomorrow for our
leftover turkey sandwich potato.
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It's bread, turkey,
stuffing, and mashed potatoes
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inside a day-old potato.
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00:01:40,676 --> 00:01:43,143
Uh, Sue, someone needs
to clean the bathroom.
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The plug-in air freshener's
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fighting a losing battle in there.
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You know, this sounds like
a job for the new guy.
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Why, yes! I believe you're right!
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00:01:51,854 --> 00:01:54,021
Oh, new guy!
55
00:01:54,123 --> 00:01:55,456
[SIGHS]
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Um, Axl, the bathroom has
to be cleaned once an hour.
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Didn't you read the manual?
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And you didn't de-crust
the cheese nozzle.
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00:02:02,732 --> 00:02:04,231
Now we have to use the real cheese.
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00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:05,532
Yeah, I'm not doing that.
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00:02:05,712 --> 00:02:07,278
When I was asked to work here, it was put
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into my contract that I do not
have to do gross stuff.
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Ow!
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00:02:10,806 --> 00:02:12,506
No, you were not asked to work here.
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You begged to work here
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00:02:13,932 --> 00:02:16,599
because you got fired
from being a bus driver.
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00:02:16,624 --> 00:02:18,424
And we all have to do gross stuff, Axl.
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Everything here is gross.
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[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
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Well, looks like Axl's gonna luck out
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'cause our shift's over.
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Great. Let's hit that tip jar
and get out of here.
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00:02:28,401 --> 00:02:30,768
Okay, Axl, before you
get your paws on it,
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00:02:30,793 --> 00:02:33,427
the way it works is
we split the tips evenly,
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00:02:33,452 --> 00:02:34,839
and if it doesn't come out even,
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we rotate who gets the extra penny.
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00:02:39,535 --> 00:02:42,621
Oh, if that's a prayer,
I'm gonna be so pissed.
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00:02:43,539 --> 00:02:45,005
"Happy Thanks-taking.
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00:02:45,107 --> 00:02:46,674
We took your tips."
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00:02:46,776 --> 00:02:50,244
I'm filled with ire, but I love
this guy's handwriting.
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00:02:51,747 --> 00:02:53,013
You sure we're in the right parking lot?
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00:02:53,115 --> 00:02:54,682
Yeah, yeah, I told
the kids to meet us outside
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00:02:54,707 --> 00:02:56,340
the abandoned Penney's.
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00:02:56,519 --> 00:02:59,420
Or did I say the abandoned Sears?
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00:02:59,522 --> 00:03:01,255
What about the abandoned Wet Seal?
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00:03:01,401 --> 00:03:02,633
No, that's been gone a while.
87
00:03:02,658 --> 00:03:04,124
They turned it into a Claire's Boutique,
88
00:03:04,149 --> 00:03:05,582
and now it's a Marine recruiting center.
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00:03:05,728 --> 00:03:07,461
Well, they'll find us.
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00:03:07,530 --> 00:03:09,596
Oh, by the way,
I called the credit-card company
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00:03:09,665 --> 00:03:11,432
and had them take that $5 charge off.
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00:03:11,500 --> 00:03:14,201
It turns out that RNJ
is just the parent company
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00:03:14,226 --> 00:03:16,860
of some coffee place
called the Golden Bean.
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00:03:16,972 --> 00:03:18,605
And I told them,
"We don't drink fancy coffee,
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00:03:18,674 --> 00:03:19,840
so that couldn't be us."
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00:03:19,909 --> 00:03:21,975
Oh, yeah. That was me.
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00:03:22,044 --> 00:03:23,410
What? I thought we agreed
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00:03:23,479 --> 00:03:25,312
we'd only have coffee at home,
at school events,
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00:03:25,381 --> 00:03:26,380
and the Jiffy Lube.
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00:03:26,449 --> 00:03:28,449
Look, I was stressed
from taking care of my mom
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00:03:28,517 --> 00:03:29,983
and I passed a coffee place and I said,
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"I want a damn coffee."
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00:03:31,654 --> 00:03:32,953
Yeah, that's how I said it in my head.
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I said "damn."
That's how much I wanted it.
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00:03:35,024 --> 00:03:37,458
It was a one-time thing, okay?
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00:03:37,483 --> 00:03:39,082
Don't you ever want to treat yourself?
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00:03:39,228 --> 00:03:40,427
I don't see the point.
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00:03:40,529 --> 00:03:41,595
You get used to nice things,
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00:03:41,664 --> 00:03:43,390
and then you got to come back to this.
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All right, listen up.
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00:03:46,969 --> 00:03:49,036
First of all, Happy Thanksgiving.
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Secondly, great work today.
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Thirdly, somebody's fired.
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- Yeah. What?!
- What?!
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00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:54,641
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
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00:03:54,710 --> 00:03:55,809
So, uh, you may have noticed
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00:03:55,834 --> 00:03:57,301
I haven't been around much lately.
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Turns out my trip to New York
to audition for "SNL"
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00:03:59,415 --> 00:04:00,748
did not go as planned.
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00:04:00,816 --> 00:04:02,182
I guess my aunt riding up the elevator
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00:04:02,207 --> 00:04:04,040
with Bobby Moynihan
isn't exactly the "in"
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00:04:04,065 --> 00:04:05,164
I thought it was.
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00:04:05,321 --> 00:04:06,987
Anywhoo, I'm gonna be around more,
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00:04:07,056 --> 00:04:09,223
so we don't need as many
minimum-wage employees.
125
00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:12,993
Now, I've been
agonizing over who to fire,
126
00:04:13,062 --> 00:04:15,863
when I thought, "Wait, I can't do this.
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00:04:15,931 --> 00:04:17,831
You guys are family."
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00:04:18,406 --> 00:04:20,634
So figure it out amongst yourselves.
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00:04:20,703 --> 00:04:23,504
?
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00:04:23,572 --> 00:04:25,773
- How was work?
- Oh, my gosh, Mom,
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you are not gonna believe this.
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00:04:27,109 --> 00:04:29,610
Edwin said we have
to decide amongst ourselves
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00:04:29,678 --> 00:04:31,245
which one of us is gonna be fired.
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00:04:31,313 --> 00:04:32,780
How are we supposed to do that?
Who's it gonna be?
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00:04:32,882 --> 00:04:33,947
- Sue.
- Sue.
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00:04:34,049 --> 00:04:36,183
What?! No!
I'm the one who found Spudsy's.
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00:04:36,252 --> 00:04:38,252
I've been there for years.
It's like family.
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00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:39,520
Okay, then Brick's got to go.
139
00:04:39,622 --> 00:04:41,221
- Why me?
- Uh, for starters,
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00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:42,423
I can see over the counter.
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00:04:42,525 --> 00:04:43,557
Stop moving the step stool.
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00:04:43,659 --> 00:04:44,958
Look, I'm a college graduate.
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00:04:45,027 --> 00:04:47,294
I need a paying job in order
to contribute around the house.
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00:04:47,363 --> 00:04:49,763
Sue just needs to go shopping
at Forever Dork, and Brick,
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00:04:49,832 --> 00:04:51,432
instead of using his money
to buy friends,
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00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:52,966
blows it all on
"Planet Nowhere" figurines,
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00:04:53,035 --> 00:04:55,436
thus continuing his cycle
of friendlessness.
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00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:57,871
Look, as soon as you get another
job, you're gonna quit anyway.
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00:04:57,940 --> 00:04:59,106
Why not just quit now?
150
00:04:59,175 --> 00:05:01,241
I can't get a job unless I have a job.
151
00:05:01,343 --> 00:05:03,143
Nobody wants to hire
someone who's not working.
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00:05:03,245 --> 00:05:04,845
But you don't know anything.
153
00:05:04,914 --> 00:05:06,713
You keep over-storing the sour cream,
154
00:05:06,782 --> 00:05:09,116
which makes it separate
back into liquid and powder.
155
00:05:09,185 --> 00:05:10,684
Brick's always stealing
the plastic forks!
156
00:05:10,786 --> 00:05:11,919
Mom tells me to do that!
157
00:05:12,021 --> 00:05:13,220
Mom, you get it, right?
158
00:05:13,322 --> 00:05:14,421
Axl should resign.
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00:05:14,490 --> 00:05:16,089
No, no, no, no. Don't drag me into this.
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00:05:16,192 --> 00:05:18,058
It's never a good idea for
a parent to take sides.
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00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:20,527
I love all of my children equally.
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00:05:20,629 --> 00:05:21,695
I'd fire Brick.
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- Mike!
- What?
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00:05:23,065 --> 00:05:25,199
Sue was there first, and Axl has a point.
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00:05:25,267 --> 00:05:26,567
He's an adult, and he needs a job.
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Ha! In your face!
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00:05:28,571 --> 00:05:30,471
Well, I guess it's over. Dad decided.
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00:05:30,573 --> 00:05:32,406
No, no, not, "Dad decided."
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00:05:32,475 --> 00:05:34,675
I distinctly remember
Edwin saying we have to decide
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00:05:34,743 --> 00:05:36,710
amongst ourselves, and Edwin's our boss.
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00:05:36,812 --> 00:05:39,413
At least until he's
the new cast member on "SNL."
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00:05:39,515 --> 00:05:41,281
Ohh, he really is good.
173
00:05:41,350 --> 00:05:43,550
He does a spot-on
George the security guard.
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00:05:43,619 --> 00:05:45,953
[SOUTHERN ACCENT] "Mall's
closing in 10 minutes!"
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00:05:46,055 --> 00:05:47,120
[CHUCKLES]
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00:05:47,189 --> 00:05:48,655
[NORMAL ACCENT]
Well, you have to be there.
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00:05:48,724 --> 00:05:50,624
- Do I have to be here?
- No, Brick's right.
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00:05:50,726 --> 00:05:52,159
Edwin left it up to us.
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00:05:52,261 --> 00:05:54,228
All in favor of Sue quitting,
raise your hand.
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00:05:54,296 --> 00:05:55,295
- Mm.
- The people have spoken.
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00:05:55,364 --> 00:05:57,264
- Sue is out.
- Uh, you can't do that.
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00:05:57,366 --> 00:05:58,799
I can't, and I did.
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00:05:58,901 --> 00:06:00,033
That doesn't make any sense!
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00:06:00,135 --> 00:06:01,201
Your face doesn't make any sense.
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00:06:01,270 --> 00:06:02,769
Oh, shut up, shut up your stupid mouth!
186
00:06:02,872 --> 00:06:04,171
All right, that's enough!
187
00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:06,039
Why is it every time
you people get in the car,
188
00:06:06,141 --> 00:06:07,274
you have to start fighting?
189
00:06:07,376 --> 00:06:08,809
- We don't always fight.
- Yes, we do.
190
00:06:08,878 --> 00:06:10,911
- No, we don't!
- I'm pretty sure we do.
191
00:06:11,013 --> 00:06:13,380
Remember last time when
I put my foot in your face?
192
00:06:13,482 --> 00:06:14,615
- Ugh!
- Or was it the other foot?
193
00:06:14,717 --> 00:06:15,749
Ugh! Or maybe it wasn't feet.
194
00:06:15,818 --> 00:06:17,050
Maybe it was my butt!
195
00:06:17,119 --> 00:06:17,951
- Don't!
- Ohh!
196
00:06:18,020 --> 00:06:19,820
Don't! Oh, you like that?
197
00:06:19,889 --> 00:06:22,389
Oh, my God! Fine!
You want a butt in the face?
198
00:06:22,458 --> 00:06:24,224
How about I put my butt
in your face, huh?!
199
00:06:24,293 --> 00:06:26,793
Hello? Feel free to jump in
with some parenting.
200
00:06:26,862 --> 00:06:30,130
All right, stop it! Stop it!
Put your butts in your seats!
201
00:06:30,232 --> 00:06:33,066
Your dad can't drive
with all this racket!
202
00:06:33,135 --> 00:06:34,701
If dad doesn't want to drive, I'll drive.
203
00:06:34,803 --> 00:06:37,037
No, Brick, you're not allowed.
Remember the cow incident?
204
00:06:37,106 --> 00:06:38,138
Yeah, but that was a year ago.
205
00:06:38,207 --> 00:06:40,823
Honey, we would let you,
but you have to be 16.
206
00:06:40,892 --> 00:06:42,609
I turned 16 three weeks ago.
207
00:06:42,711 --> 00:06:43,977
Oh.
208
00:06:44,079 --> 00:06:45,846
- ? Happy birthday to y... ?
- Save it.
209
00:06:45,948 --> 00:06:47,080
Come on. Let me drive.
210
00:06:47,149 --> 00:06:49,149
Sorry, buddy. We don't do that on trips.
211
00:06:49,251 --> 00:06:51,051
Yes, we do. Sue got to drive.
212
00:06:51,153 --> 00:06:52,252
I don't remember what trip we were on,
213
00:06:52,354 --> 00:06:53,520
but I know she got to drive.
214
00:06:53,589 --> 00:06:54,955
I believe that was
the one where you made us take
215
00:06:55,024 --> 00:06:57,624
a side trip to see your
Internet hillbilly girlfriend.
216
00:06:57,726 --> 00:06:58,992
Oh, right!
217
00:06:59,061 --> 00:07:00,527
I wonder if she's still single.
218
00:07:00,596 --> 00:07:02,996
Anyway, I guess you're right.
I don't have to drive.
219
00:07:03,065 --> 00:07:04,932
Mom and dad can just
take me everywhere I need to go
220
00:07:05,034 --> 00:07:06,466
for the rest of my life.
221
00:07:06,535 --> 00:07:08,335
Hey, this isn't fair.
222
00:07:08,404 --> 00:07:10,437
Why am I the one
that's stuck in the mid...
223
00:07:10,506 --> 00:07:11,638
[TIRES SQUEALING]
224
00:07:11,740 --> 00:07:14,274
?
225
00:07:14,343 --> 00:07:17,811
Should I put down seven or eight
seconds for my driving log?
226
00:07:17,913 --> 00:07:20,614
I don't know. My heart stopped at four.
227
00:07:20,716 --> 00:07:22,349
Oh, tollbooth.
228
00:07:27,289 --> 00:07:29,423
Okay, let's see. I got $1.20.
229
00:07:29,525 --> 00:07:30,223
How much do you need?
230
00:07:30,326 --> 00:07:31,658
60 cents. All right.
231
00:07:31,727 --> 00:07:33,260
Hey, give me the extra 60 cents, too.
232
00:07:33,329 --> 00:07:35,095
- Why?
- Well, it's Thanksgiving.
233
00:07:35,197 --> 00:07:36,063
I think I'll do something nice
234
00:07:36,165 --> 00:07:37,164
and pay for the car behind us.
235
00:07:37,232 --> 00:07:38,999
Aw, that's sweet!
236
00:07:39,101 --> 00:07:41,001
We're gonna pay for the car behind us.
237
00:07:41,026 --> 00:07:42,379
Hey. It was my idea.
238
00:07:42,404 --> 00:07:43,604
I was gonna say that.
239
00:07:43,706 --> 00:07:45,472
Tell them we said,
uh, Happy Thanksgiving.
240
00:07:45,574 --> 00:07:47,307
- That was all you, baby.
- Yeah.
241
00:07:47,409 --> 00:07:48,408
Isn't your dad sweet?
242
00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:50,444
- That was so nice.
- Hi!
243
00:07:50,546 --> 00:07:51,311
[CHUCKLES]
244
00:07:51,413 --> 00:07:52,613
- Let's see.
- Oh! Oh!
245
00:07:52,715 --> 00:07:54,548
They're coming through.
They're coming through!
246
00:07:54,650 --> 00:07:56,984
They're through. They're speeding up.
247
00:07:57,086 --> 00:07:58,619
- Here they come!
- They want to say thanks.
248
00:07:58,721 --> 00:08:00,287
Aw!
249
00:08:03,025 --> 00:08:09,596
?
250
00:08:12,507 --> 00:08:14,440
That was not the reaction I expected.
251
00:08:14,542 --> 00:08:17,176
I know. They were just plain rude.
252
00:08:17,245 --> 00:08:20,346
[SCOFFS] It makes you not want
to do anything nice for people.
253
00:08:20,415 --> 00:08:21,948
I mean, I know it was just 60 cents,
254
00:08:22,016 --> 00:08:23,549
but you could at least give a wave.
255
00:08:23,618 --> 00:08:25,451
I just think it's sad 'cause it's like,
256
00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:27,019
"What are you teaching your kids?"
257
00:08:27,088 --> 00:08:29,889
The message is, "Go do drugs,
kids, 'cause it doesn't matter."
258
00:08:29,958 --> 00:08:30,957
Yeah, and Brick could have really used
259
00:08:31,025 --> 00:08:32,625
that 60 cents 'cause
he doesn't have a job.
260
00:08:32,694 --> 00:08:34,593
[CHUCKLES SARCASTICALLY]
261
00:08:34,696 --> 00:08:36,429
Whoa, I'm below empty.
262
00:08:36,531 --> 00:08:37,763
Better pull in up here.
263
00:08:37,832 --> 00:08:39,832
Wait, is this the car
with the broken gas gauge?
264
00:08:39,901 --> 00:08:41,233
No, that's your car.
This is the one where
265
00:08:41,302 --> 00:08:42,568
the needle broke off the speedometer
266
00:08:42,637 --> 00:08:44,937
and fell down into the crack
where I can't get it out.
267
00:08:45,039 --> 00:08:51,210
?
268
00:08:51,312 --> 00:08:53,980
[DEVICE BEEPS]
269
00:08:54,048 --> 00:08:55,681
Sorry, uh, it's declined.
270
00:08:55,783 --> 00:08:58,451
?
271
00:08:58,519 --> 00:09:00,853
Okay, well, thanks
for the 20 minutes on hold
272
00:09:00,955 --> 00:09:02,121
and being no help.
273
00:09:02,190 --> 00:09:04,223
[SIGHS] Turns out 'cause I called in
274
00:09:04,292 --> 00:09:07,093
the fraudulent charge
which wasn't fraudulent,
275
00:09:07,161 --> 00:09:09,095
they canceled the card, and
they're sending us a new one.
276
00:09:09,163 --> 00:09:10,296
So, when's it arriving?
277
00:09:10,867 --> 00:09:12,865
A drone's delivering it any minute.
278
00:09:12,934 --> 00:09:14,600
- Hmm.
- Oh, for God's sake,
279
00:09:14,702 --> 00:09:15,768
it's coming on Monday.
280
00:09:15,837 --> 00:09:18,037
[GROANS] I'm starving.
Where's the blue bag?
281
00:09:18,106 --> 00:09:19,472
Did you bring the blue bag?
282
00:09:19,540 --> 00:09:22,208
The new blue bag is yellow,
and I have no idea where it is.
283
00:09:22,276 --> 00:09:25,277
I don't get it. I had 30 bucks
in here, and now it's gone.
284
00:09:25,346 --> 00:09:26,579
Oh, I took it.
285
00:09:26,681 --> 00:09:27,847
What? Why?
286
00:09:27,915 --> 00:09:29,749
I mailed Cindy $30 to get back with me.
287
00:09:29,817 --> 00:09:31,951
Brick, if Cindy comes back
to you because you paid her,
288
00:09:32,053 --> 00:09:33,486
she's basically a prostitute.
289
00:09:33,588 --> 00:09:35,554
Well, yes, but she's my prostitute.
290
00:09:35,623 --> 00:09:37,189
Frankie, how much cash you got?
291
00:09:37,291 --> 00:09:39,959
Where's my wallet? Oh, shoot.
292
00:09:40,061 --> 00:09:41,894
At the last minute, I switched
to a cross-body purse.
293
00:09:41,963 --> 00:09:43,529
See? This is a cross-body.
294
00:09:43,631 --> 00:09:45,564
I wanted it to look nice
to impress Janet.
295
00:09:45,633 --> 00:09:47,333
Cross-bodies are cuter
and younger-looking
296
00:09:47,402 --> 00:09:49,235
- because cross-bodies...
- Stop saying "cross-bodies"!
297
00:09:49,337 --> 00:09:51,070
Axl, Sue, Brick, what do you got?
298
00:09:51,139 --> 00:09:52,671
I spent all I had on Cindy.
299
00:09:52,774 --> 00:09:54,807
I was really counting on
that tip money that got stolen.
300
00:09:54,876 --> 00:09:57,243
Yeah, I don't carry a wallet
when I'm around you guys.
301
00:09:57,311 --> 00:09:59,078
You made me go on this trip,
which technically means
302
00:09:59,147 --> 00:10:01,247
I'm a child, and right now
this child could seriously
303
00:10:01,315 --> 00:10:03,753
use some chips and a cold beer.
304
00:10:05,086 --> 00:10:07,620
Look, is there any way
you could kind of just spot us
305
00:10:07,645 --> 00:10:08,877
5 bucks for gas.
306
00:10:09,023 --> 00:10:10,356
We're only going another 40 miles,
307
00:10:10,425 --> 00:10:12,224
and we're coming back
on the same route on Sunday,
308
00:10:12,249 --> 00:10:13,782
so we can pay you back then.
309
00:10:13,928 --> 00:10:15,961
We're going to her sister's
house, and we all hate going.
310
00:10:16,030 --> 00:10:17,696
We don't hate going. It's just...
311
00:10:17,765 --> 00:10:19,398
She's just challenging.
312
00:10:19,500 --> 00:10:22,168
I would like to help
you out, but I can't.
313
00:10:22,523 --> 00:10:24,503
Okay, well, um, what about this?
314
00:10:24,528 --> 00:10:26,628
What if we leave something of value
315
00:10:26,774 --> 00:10:28,507
and... and swap it out
for cash on the way back?
316
00:10:28,576 --> 00:10:30,276
Good idea. What do we have?
317
00:10:30,344 --> 00:10:32,078
- Uh, half an ice scraper.
- Half a shovel in the trunk.
318
00:10:32,146 --> 00:10:33,979
Hey, hey, hey, look,
I don't own the place.
319
00:10:34,082 --> 00:10:35,047
I just work here.
320
00:10:35,116 --> 00:10:37,349
They have rules and cameras.
321
00:10:37,452 --> 00:10:39,251
That fish is one.
322
00:10:39,353 --> 00:10:41,687
If I don't do everything by
the book, I could lose my job.
323
00:10:41,756 --> 00:10:43,122
I'm sorry.
324
00:10:43,191 --> 00:10:45,658
Excuse me. I couldn't help
overhearing your conversation,
325
00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:48,661
and it being Thanksgiving and all,
326
00:10:48,729 --> 00:10:50,529
do you mind if I just cut in front of you
327
00:10:50,554 --> 00:10:52,388
and pay for these?
328
00:10:52,533 --> 00:10:54,233
Excuse me.
329
00:10:54,335 --> 00:10:55,401
So, what do we do now?
330
00:10:55,470 --> 00:10:57,036
[SIGHS] Well, Janet
can't come and rescue us
331
00:10:57,138 --> 00:10:58,504
'cause she's got to help with mom.
332
00:10:58,573 --> 00:11:00,339
What about the Donahues?
333
00:11:00,408 --> 00:11:02,208
We're not gonna ask
the neighbors to drive two hours
334
00:11:02,276 --> 00:11:04,043
on Thanksgiving to give us gas money.
335
00:11:04,078 --> 00:11:06,579
I'd like to keep the sliver
of dignity I have left.
336
00:11:06,647 --> 00:11:08,614
Oh, my God, you guys,
do you see that sign over there?
337
00:11:08,716 --> 00:11:10,683
"Road maintained by Dan Quayle"?
338
00:11:10,751 --> 00:11:12,818
What? No, no, no, no, no. Farther down.
339
00:11:12,887 --> 00:11:15,621
The mall sign.
There's a Spudsy's-on-the-Go!
340
00:11:15,690 --> 00:11:17,423
I bet they'll help us out.
341
00:11:17,492 --> 00:11:19,492
It says in the manual
we're all a big family.
342
00:11:19,594 --> 00:11:20,493
Yeah.
343
00:11:20,595 --> 00:11:21,861
Okay, go. See what you can do.
344
00:11:21,963 --> 00:11:24,163
I'm gonna call
the credit-card people again.
345
00:11:24,232 --> 00:11:26,432
And, Frankie, if you see a nice trucker,
346
00:11:26,501 --> 00:11:30,002
hike up your pants and show
them your non-bruised leg.
347
00:11:30,104 --> 00:11:32,838
Non-bruised.
348
00:11:32,940 --> 00:11:35,674
Hi! Okay, I know this sounds crazy,
349
00:11:35,699 --> 00:11:38,300
but we are Spudsy's employees,
and we're really in a jam.
350
00:11:38,479 --> 00:11:39,912
And we're getting paid on Wednesday.
351
00:11:40,014 --> 00:11:42,114
So, is there any way
you could call corporate
352
00:11:42,183 --> 00:11:43,749
and see if we could get
an advance on our checks?
353
00:11:43,851 --> 00:11:44,750
Yeah, I'm not doing that.
354
00:11:44,852 --> 00:11:46,285
- Ohh.
- What?
355
00:11:46,387 --> 00:11:47,253
Why not?
356
00:11:47,321 --> 00:11:48,654
We're from the Orson branch.
357
00:11:48,756 --> 00:11:50,890
Our manager is Edwin.
358
00:11:50,992 --> 00:11:53,192
Yeah? What's his last name?
359
00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:56,395
He's very funny.
360
00:11:56,464 --> 00:11:58,797
He does a great impression
of George the security guard.
361
00:11:58,866 --> 00:12:00,766
[SOUTHERN ACCENT]
"Mall closin' in 10 minutes!"
362
00:12:00,868 --> 00:12:02,835
[LAUGHS]
363
00:12:02,904 --> 00:12:04,236
Look, I promise we work here.
364
00:12:04,338 --> 00:12:05,704
Our uniforms are in the car.
365
00:12:05,806 --> 00:12:10,409
Can we just borrow like
$5 from your tip jar?
366
00:12:10,478 --> 00:12:12,878
You really want to prove you work here?
367
00:12:12,947 --> 00:12:15,114
We all signed a pledge
never to reveal the ingredients
368
00:12:15,183 --> 00:12:16,682
of Spudsy's secret sauce.
369
00:12:16,751 --> 00:12:18,884
Tell me what they are, and I'll
give you what's in the jar.
370
00:12:18,986 --> 00:12:20,653
Okay, um...
371
00:12:22,390 --> 00:12:23,355
Oh, my God.
372
00:12:23,457 --> 00:12:24,523
Oh, my God, I'm blanking.
373
00:12:24,625 --> 00:12:25,558
Why am I blanking?
374
00:12:25,626 --> 00:12:26,959
Brick! Help!
375
00:12:27,061 --> 00:12:28,060
Uh...
376
00:12:28,162 --> 00:12:29,161
I know it.
377
00:12:29,263 --> 00:12:30,896
And if I get it right,
378
00:12:30,965 --> 00:12:32,531
I get to be the one who keeps the job,
379
00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:34,867
and you two losers get to
fight it out amongst yourselves.
380
00:12:34,936 --> 00:12:36,769
- I'll take that bet.
- Me too.
381
00:12:36,871 --> 00:12:38,404
He doesn't even know the state bird.
382
00:12:38,506 --> 00:12:39,972
Oh.
383
00:12:40,074 --> 00:12:43,209
Basil, oil, onions, garlic, emulsifier,
384
00:12:43,311 --> 00:12:44,643
ranch dressing.
385
00:12:44,712 --> 00:12:46,445
The cardinal.
386
00:12:46,547 --> 00:12:47,446
That's correct.
387
00:12:47,548 --> 00:12:48,714
Oh, yeah!
388
00:12:48,783 --> 00:12:50,416
I gets to keep a minimum-wage job.
389
00:12:50,518 --> 00:12:52,051
Ooh!
390
00:12:52,119 --> 00:12:53,919
Ooh!
391
00:12:54,021 --> 00:12:55,688
?
392
00:12:55,756 --> 00:12:57,923
[SIGHS] Now this guy's
saying that to get access
393
00:12:57,992 --> 00:13:00,192
to your account, he has to
know your favorite movie.
394
00:13:00,294 --> 00:13:02,528
Oh, gosh, it's either "Wizard of Oz"
395
00:13:02,630 --> 00:13:03,896
or "Overboard."
396
00:13:03,965 --> 00:13:06,332
It's funny... If you would
just sit down and watch it.
397
00:13:06,434 --> 00:13:07,333
[DOORBELL CHIMES]
398
00:13:07,401 --> 00:13:09,235
Mom! Dad! We got money!
399
00:13:09,337 --> 00:13:10,302
I just hope it's enough.
400
00:13:10,404 --> 00:13:12,137
[GASPS] Wow, where'd you get all that?
401
00:13:12,206 --> 00:13:14,406
Well, I was able to procure 35 cents
402
00:13:14,475 --> 00:13:16,609
from a fellow potato engineer's tip jar.
403
00:13:16,677 --> 00:13:18,544
And the rest we got
from the mall fountain,
404
00:13:18,613 --> 00:13:20,412
at least until the
security guard kicked us out.
405
00:13:20,481 --> 00:13:21,747
He wasn't as funny as George,
406
00:13:21,816 --> 00:13:23,449
not the way Edwin does him, anyway.
407
00:13:23,517 --> 00:13:25,451
And I know it's bad
to steal from a fountain,
408
00:13:25,519 --> 00:13:27,786
so I threw a penny back in
and wished for God
409
00:13:27,888 --> 00:13:30,001
to forgive us for taking the money.
410
00:13:31,158 --> 00:13:33,359
[COINS RATTLING]
411
00:13:37,365 --> 00:13:41,267
One, two, three...
412
00:13:43,004 --> 00:13:44,637
Oh, hey, guys, when we're sitting around
413
00:13:44,705 --> 00:13:46,438
the table saying what we're thankful for,
414
00:13:46,507 --> 00:13:48,173
nobody say stealing from mall fountains.
415
00:13:48,276 --> 00:13:49,942
Aunt Janet doesn't need to know that.
416
00:13:50,011 --> 00:13:51,143
That's okay.
417
00:13:51,245 --> 00:13:53,045
I already got something
else to be thankful for.
418
00:13:53,114 --> 00:13:55,814
I have secured my position
as a Spudsy's employee.
419
00:13:55,916 --> 00:13:57,950
I was able to recite all the ingredients
420
00:13:58,019 --> 00:13:59,985
of the secret sauce...
something that two giant
421
00:14:00,054 --> 00:14:01,887
Spudsy nerds could not do.
422
00:14:01,956 --> 00:14:03,188
I still don't know how you did it.
423
00:14:03,257 --> 00:14:05,291
Um, 'cause I'm smart. The first letter
424
00:14:05,359 --> 00:14:08,294
of all the ingredients...
basil, onions, oil, garlic,
425
00:14:08,362 --> 00:14:11,430
emulsifier, ranch dressing...
spell "booger."
426
00:14:11,532 --> 00:14:12,398
Ohh!
427
00:14:12,466 --> 00:14:13,565
And then there were two.
428
00:14:13,668 --> 00:14:15,034
Of course that's how you did it.
429
00:14:15,102 --> 00:14:17,303
You are such a child, Axl.
430
00:14:17,371 --> 00:14:20,172
Unlike you, I am an adult,
and I will defend my job
431
00:14:20,241 --> 00:14:22,207
in an adult manner... you butt!
432
00:14:22,276 --> 00:14:24,543
Not me. You choked
'cause you're a choker.
433
00:14:24,645 --> 00:14:25,978
Choker!
434
00:14:26,047 --> 00:14:28,380
Am I getting in your head? Huh?
Am I getting in your head?
435
00:14:28,482 --> 00:14:30,416
Can you guys stop
fighting for two seconds?
436
00:14:30,484 --> 00:14:32,818
[GASPS] Mike, the car from
the tollbooth's ahead.
437
00:14:32,887 --> 00:14:34,320
Catch up to them.
438
00:14:34,388 --> 00:14:35,854
Catch up to them? Why?
439
00:14:35,956 --> 00:14:38,190
I don't know.
Maybe they didn't see us before.
440
00:14:38,259 --> 00:14:39,858
I mean, somebody paid their toll.
441
00:14:39,927 --> 00:14:41,226
That doesn't happen every day.
442
00:14:41,251 --> 00:14:42,171
- Eh.
- Yeah, no, no, no.
443
00:14:42,196 --> 00:14:43,128
Go give them a little honk.
444
00:14:43,197 --> 00:14:44,463
- No.
- Yeah, go do it.
445
00:14:44,565 --> 00:14:45,297
No! Get... get...
446
00:14:45,399 --> 00:14:46,298
[HORN HONKS]
447
00:14:46,367 --> 00:14:47,366
- What are you doing?
- No, listen,
448
00:14:47,435 --> 00:14:48,434
this is gonna be great.
449
00:14:48,536 --> 00:14:49,868
[HORN HONKS]
450
00:14:49,970 --> 00:14:55,307
?
451
00:14:55,376 --> 00:14:57,176
Oh, my God. Did you see that?
452
00:14:57,278 --> 00:14:58,544
That was so mean.
453
00:14:58,612 --> 00:15:00,179
What is wrong with the world?
454
00:15:00,247 --> 00:15:02,481
You pay somebody's toll,
and that's how they repay you?
455
00:15:02,583 --> 00:15:05,250
Yeah, the world's a rough place now.
456
00:15:05,319 --> 00:15:08,387
In my day, people would go out
of their way to help you.
457
00:15:08,456 --> 00:15:10,255
They'd stop what
they were doing and... and...
458
00:15:10,324 --> 00:15:12,124
and give you a push
to the service station.
459
00:15:12,193 --> 00:15:13,926
If you needed gas,
they'd give you some gas,
460
00:15:14,028 --> 00:15:15,027
send you on your way.
461
00:15:15,129 --> 00:15:16,295
You'd pay them back when you could.
462
00:15:16,364 --> 00:15:18,397
Maybe with a dozen eggs or something.
463
00:15:18,499 --> 00:15:20,532
I know! What is going on?
464
00:15:20,634 --> 00:15:23,535
Like that stinky mall person
stealing our tip-jar money.
465
00:15:23,637 --> 00:15:24,937
I'm not surprised.
466
00:15:25,005 --> 00:15:27,973
Everybody is stealing now...
tip-jar money, identities.
467
00:15:28,075 --> 00:15:30,776
That's why credit-card
companies assume fraud,
468
00:15:30,845 --> 00:15:32,411
and in order to get into your account,
469
00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:33,712
you have to remember that "Overboard"
470
00:15:33,814 --> 00:15:34,813
is your favorite movie.
471
00:15:34,882 --> 00:15:36,615
- [ALL GROAN]
- It's good!
472
00:15:36,684 --> 00:15:39,318
I'll bet Cindy never even
got the letter I sent her.
473
00:15:39,387 --> 00:15:41,353
Obviously, the mailman
took it and stole the money.
474
00:15:41,455 --> 00:15:42,755
But as the weird kid,
475
00:15:42,857 --> 00:15:45,290
I don't find human cruelty
as surprising as you guys do.
476
00:15:45,393 --> 00:15:48,427
You know, I am almost
always on mankind's side,
477
00:15:48,529 --> 00:15:50,462
but right now mankind
is making it real hard
478
00:15:50,564 --> 00:15:51,630
to stand up for it.
479
00:15:51,732 --> 00:15:52,965
Well, you better get used to it
480
00:15:53,067 --> 00:15:54,466
'cause that's the world we're living in.
481
00:15:54,568 --> 00:15:55,834
All right, all right, all right, let's...
482
00:15:55,936 --> 00:15:57,136
let's not go down this rabbit hole.
483
00:15:57,238 --> 00:15:59,138
It's Thanksgiving,
and we still have a lot
484
00:15:59,163 --> 00:16:01,152
of things to be thankful for.
485
00:16:01,809 --> 00:16:04,243
[BRAKES SQUEAK]
486
00:16:04,345 --> 00:16:06,412
Name one.
487
00:16:07,899 --> 00:16:09,916
[HORNS BLARING]
488
00:16:09,941 --> 00:16:11,341
Oh, I'm starving!
489
00:16:11,410 --> 00:16:13,109
We should have bought
chips at that station.
490
00:16:13,178 --> 00:16:14,344
[HORN HONKS]
491
00:16:14,413 --> 00:16:16,746
Oh, that's right. Honk.
Why didn't we think of that?
492
00:16:16,815 --> 00:16:18,848
That'll get a jack-knifed
semi out of the way.
493
00:16:18,917 --> 00:16:21,284
Seriously, my stomach is eating itself.
494
00:16:21,386 --> 00:16:23,520
Ohh, come on, Brick.
495
00:16:23,588 --> 00:16:25,622
You know I deserve the job more.
496
00:16:25,690 --> 00:16:27,056
Just give up and quit.
497
00:16:27,159 --> 00:16:28,525
No, you quit.
498
00:16:28,550 --> 00:16:29,749
Ugh!
499
00:16:29,928 --> 00:16:31,494
Okay, I'll make you a deal.
500
00:16:31,563 --> 00:16:33,463
The first one to throw
one of these little paper balls
501
00:16:33,532 --> 00:16:35,565
and get it to stick
in dad's hair wins the job.
502
00:16:35,634 --> 00:16:36,833
Deal?
503
00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:39,102
I'm in.
504
00:16:42,140 --> 00:16:43,373
Knock it off.
505
00:16:43,475 --> 00:16:44,808
Okay. [GRUNTS]
506
00:16:44,910 --> 00:16:47,010
Good news is nobody got hurt.
507
00:16:47,112 --> 00:16:50,013
The bad news... We are gonna be
stuck in this forever.
508
00:16:50,081 --> 00:16:53,149
But guess who I saw about six cars up.
509
00:16:53,251 --> 00:16:54,684
A chip delivery truck?
510
00:16:54,786 --> 00:16:56,453
The tollbooth jerks.
511
00:16:56,521 --> 00:16:58,121
- [GASPS]
- No! Were they mean?
512
00:16:58,223 --> 00:16:59,255
Did they apologize?
513
00:16:59,357 --> 00:17:00,757
No, they acted like
nothing even happened.
514
00:17:00,826 --> 00:17:02,325
- Idiots.
- Slime balls.
515
00:17:02,394 --> 00:17:04,027
- Meanies.
- Par for the course.
516
00:17:04,095 --> 00:17:06,663
Yep, this turned out
to be a great Thanksgiving.
517
00:17:06,765 --> 00:17:09,720
World... one. Hecks... zero.
518
00:17:10,435 --> 00:17:11,764
That's it!
519
00:17:12,938 --> 00:17:13,770
What's she doing?
520
00:17:13,839 --> 00:17:15,171
What are you...?
521
00:17:15,273 --> 00:17:19,642
?
522
00:17:19,711 --> 00:17:22,912
There's no way we're making it
to Janet's, so I'm eating.
523
00:17:23,014 --> 00:17:28,785
?
524
00:17:32,691 --> 00:17:34,858
Mmm! Mmm!
525
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:36,793
- Mine!
- Oh, hi.
526
00:17:36,895 --> 00:17:38,261
No, I just saw that you were eating,
527
00:17:38,330 --> 00:17:40,296
and, you know, I've got some stuffing.
528
00:17:40,365 --> 00:17:43,266
Clearly, I'm not making it
to my cousin's for Thanksgiving,
529
00:17:43,335 --> 00:17:44,767
so I thought you might want some.
530
00:17:44,836 --> 00:17:46,769
Oh! Wow! Thank you!
531
00:17:46,838 --> 00:17:48,972
And by "mine," I meant mine to share.
532
00:17:49,074 --> 00:17:51,407
These are my famous twice
marshmallowed sweet potatoes.
533
00:17:51,476 --> 00:17:52,442
Here. Help yourself.
534
00:17:52,511 --> 00:17:54,244
Thank you. Don't mind if I do.
535
00:17:54,346 --> 00:17:56,212
Hey. Are we sharing food?
536
00:17:56,314 --> 00:17:57,313
I've got rolls.
537
00:17:57,382 --> 00:17:58,548
Oh, thanks!
538
00:17:58,650 --> 00:18:00,550
Ooh, stuffing!
539
00:18:01,820 --> 00:18:04,220
I've got cranberry sauce.
Would anybody like some?
540
00:18:04,322 --> 00:18:05,651
Yeah!
541
00:18:06,691 --> 00:18:10,426
Thanks. Um, okay, I'm sorry.
542
00:18:10,529 --> 00:18:12,095
I just have to say something.
543
00:18:12,163 --> 00:18:15,119
You're bringing over cranberries
after you flipped us off?
544
00:18:16,067 --> 00:18:18,268
Wait, that was you?
545
00:18:18,336 --> 00:18:21,271
Oh, we were scared
because you were chasing us
546
00:18:21,373 --> 00:18:22,972
and honking and driving erratically.
547
00:18:23,041 --> 00:18:25,008
We were afraid it was a road-rage thing,
548
00:18:25,110 --> 00:18:27,076
what with the way
the world is these days.
549
00:18:27,145 --> 00:18:29,245
[CHUCKLING] No, we're not road ragers.
550
00:18:29,347 --> 00:18:30,413
We're Good Samaritans.
551
00:18:30,515 --> 00:18:31,814
We just wanted to see your reaction
552
00:18:31,883 --> 00:18:33,683
after we paid your toll.
553
00:18:33,752 --> 00:18:34,684
What?
554
00:18:34,786 --> 00:18:36,085
You didn't pay our toll. We paid it.
555
00:18:36,154 --> 00:18:38,054
Uh, no, we did.
556
00:18:38,156 --> 00:18:39,355
We told the tollbooth guy,
557
00:18:39,424 --> 00:18:41,224
"We're paying for us
and the car behind us."
558
00:18:41,293 --> 00:18:44,193
- He didn't tell you?
- No, we just paid him.
559
00:18:44,262 --> 00:18:46,329
But that's so sweet of you
to pay our toll.
560
00:18:46,398 --> 00:18:47,497
Thank you.
561
00:18:47,599 --> 00:18:49,532
Sort of restores my faith in mankind.
562
00:18:49,601 --> 00:18:51,668
Oh, it's nothing. Happy to do it.
563
00:18:51,770 --> 00:18:53,636
We're not in it for the thanks.
564
00:18:53,705 --> 00:18:54,737
You got to try my sweet potatoes.
565
00:18:54,839 --> 00:18:55,638
Oh, okay.
566
00:18:55,740 --> 00:18:56,940
I don't know.
567
00:18:57,042 --> 00:18:58,808
Maybe there is a lot
wrong with the world,
568
00:18:58,877 --> 00:19:01,611
but there's a lot right with it, too.
569
00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:03,580
Okay, Brick, I think
I have a way to settle
570
00:19:03,605 --> 00:19:05,938
this Spudsy's thing once and for all.
571
00:19:06,162 --> 00:19:07,561
[SIGHS] Whoever gets the big side
572
00:19:07,586 --> 00:19:09,185
of the wishbone gets to keep the job.
573
00:19:09,254 --> 00:19:10,620
The little side quits.
574
00:19:10,722 --> 00:19:11,721
Fair?
575
00:19:11,823 --> 00:19:12,927
Fair.
576
00:19:17,996 --> 00:19:19,696
[VOICE BREAKING] Congratulations, Brick.
577
00:19:19,798 --> 00:19:21,631
You won fair and square.
578
00:19:21,700 --> 00:19:23,366
I'll turn in my uniform on Monday
579
00:19:23,391 --> 00:19:25,525
and erase my name from the schedule.
580
00:19:25,670 --> 00:19:27,858
That's why we write it in pencil.
581
00:19:28,740 --> 00:19:30,540
Wait, Sue, don't do that.
582
00:19:30,642 --> 00:19:32,208
I'm the one who should quit.
583
00:19:32,310 --> 00:19:33,643
What? Why?
584
00:19:33,712 --> 00:19:36,980
[SIGHS] It means more
to you than it does to me.
585
00:19:37,082 --> 00:19:38,514
Plus I keep licking the potatoes.
586
00:19:38,583 --> 00:19:39,616
They're gonna catch me eventually,
587
00:19:39,718 --> 00:19:41,351
so I might as well quit now.
588
00:19:41,419 --> 00:19:42,585
It started out 'cause they were salty,
589
00:19:42,687 --> 00:19:43,820
but then it became this thing where
590
00:19:43,845 --> 00:19:45,145
I convinced myself that
if I didn't lick them,
591
00:19:45,170 --> 00:19:46,102
mom and dad would die.
592
00:19:46,324 --> 00:19:47,590
Brick, you can't lick the potatoes.
593
00:19:47,659 --> 00:19:49,325
Man, you are such a weirdo.
594
00:19:49,427 --> 00:19:52,562
Call me weird, but I've
got two living parents.
595
00:19:54,899 --> 00:19:57,200
I mean, sure, it's easy
to stay in your car
596
00:19:57,302 --> 00:19:59,335
and complain about
what's wrong with the world,
597
00:19:59,437 --> 00:20:01,838
but the truth is when you get down to it,
598
00:20:01,940 --> 00:20:04,707
we all want the same thing...
to get where we're going
599
00:20:04,809 --> 00:20:06,976
to be with the people we love.
600
00:20:07,078 --> 00:20:10,113
So if you get out of your car
and actually talk to folks,
601
00:20:10,215 --> 00:20:13,029
you realize we're all in it together,
602
00:20:13,752 --> 00:20:15,952
and maybe the world is
just one spontaneous
603
00:20:15,977 --> 00:20:19,712
tailgate Thanksgiving away
from all getting along.
604
00:20:23,450 --> 00:20:25,125
This time of year makes me think of
605
00:20:25,150 --> 00:20:26,415
all the Thanksgivings we've shared.
606
00:20:26,518 --> 00:20:30,887
?
607
00:20:30,989 --> 00:20:32,355
Aah!
608
00:20:32,457 --> 00:20:39,595
?
609
00:20:39,697 --> 00:20:46,869
?
610
00:20:46,983 --> 00:20:51,266
?
611
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:59,133
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612
00:20:59,183 --> 00:21:03,733
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