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1
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RONNY: This is my
hometown. My family members
2
00:00:07,229 --> 00:00:09,064
are scattered all over Boston.
3
00:00:09,065 --> 00:00:12,200
My parents live here. My sister lives here.
4
00:00:12,201 --> 00:00:14,669
My brothers live here and here.
5
00:00:14,670 --> 00:00:17,339
And I live way over here.
6
00:00:17,340 --> 00:00:20,542
But we always seem to end up over here.
7
00:00:22,211 --> 00:00:25,013
Well, remember that stomach
pain that I was having?
8
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I found out what it is.
9
00:00:26,682 --> 00:00:28,016
And no, Gerard,
10
00:00:28,017 --> 00:00:29,117
it's not God punishing me
11
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for that horrible thing I said.
12
00:00:31,020 --> 00:00:32,353
(quiet laugh)
13
00:00:32,354 --> 00:00:34,422
Derek Jeter's kind of handsome.
14
00:00:37,993 --> 00:00:39,294
Complimenting a Yankee?
15
00:00:39,295 --> 00:00:42,263
You also have a crush
on a New York Knick, Ma?
16
00:00:42,264 --> 00:00:45,767
Carmelo a little, but
that's beside the point.
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00:00:46,602 --> 00:00:48,569
I have to have my gallbladder removed.
18
00:00:48,570 --> 00:00:51,406
I swear... first the
dishwasher and now this.
19
00:00:51,407 --> 00:00:55,176
Why can't everything in the
house work at the same time?
20
00:00:55,177 --> 00:00:56,644
They're gonna remove it?
21
00:00:56,645 --> 00:00:58,279
- Surgically?
- No,
22
00:00:58,280 --> 00:00:59,747
Arthur, they're gonna coax it out
23
00:00:59,748 --> 00:01:01,649
with promises of a better life.
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00:01:02,885 --> 00:01:04,418
This isn't a big deal, is it?
25
00:01:04,419 --> 00:01:05,953
It's a very routine procedure.
26
00:01:05,954 --> 00:01:08,489
With only the slightest
chance of complications.
27
00:01:08,490 --> 00:01:09,790
No, it's...
28
00:01:09,791 --> 00:01:10,825
Oh, Sean's right.
29
00:01:10,826 --> 00:01:12,026
That's weird.
30
00:01:13,028 --> 00:01:14,328
I love medical stuff.
31
00:01:14,329 --> 00:01:16,163
In another life, I could've been a doctor.
32
00:01:16,164 --> 00:01:17,898
You? A doctor?
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00:01:17,899 --> 00:01:20,601
You couldn't zip your
coat till you were 11.
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That's in this life.
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00:01:23,472 --> 00:01:25,439
You know, the gallbladder's
a curious organ.
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00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:27,308
It's this tiny little
thing that just sits there
37
00:01:27,309 --> 00:01:28,843
filled with bile.
38
00:01:28,844 --> 00:01:29,977
Hey, kind of like Gerard.
39
00:01:29,978 --> 00:01:31,312
(laughs): Yeah!
40
00:01:31,313 --> 00:01:33,347
Could you please stop saying things
41
00:01:33,348 --> 00:01:35,616
like "organ" and "bile"?
42
00:01:35,617 --> 00:01:38,352
Oh, Gerard, you've
always been so squeamish.
43
00:01:38,353 --> 00:01:40,254
What happened to you?
44
00:01:40,255 --> 00:01:43,123
Cut myself shaving, saw the blood, fainted.
45
00:01:43,124 --> 00:01:45,125
Hit my head on the counter, came to,
46
00:01:45,126 --> 00:01:47,027
saw the blood on the counter, fainted.
47
00:01:47,028 --> 00:01:49,964
Turned on the TV, and saw a
commercial for tomato juice.
48
00:01:49,965 --> 00:01:51,332
Fainted.
49
00:01:51,333 --> 00:01:52,967
Rough morning.
50
00:01:54,035 --> 00:01:55,402
I'm not squeamish.
51
00:01:55,403 --> 00:01:58,038
It's just that gross things
make me want to throw up.
52
00:01:58,039 --> 00:01:59,339
(groans)
53
00:01:59,340 --> 00:02:02,509
"Throw up. "
54
00:02:02,510 --> 00:02:05,512
Anyway, I am gonna have to spend
tomorrow night in the hospital.
55
00:02:05,513 --> 00:02:06,814
But it's no big deal.
56
00:02:06,815 --> 00:02:09,416
It's nothing to get all dramatic about.
57
00:02:09,417 --> 00:02:11,652
So, this is how it ends.
58
00:02:11,653 --> 00:02:13,387
(door closes)
59
00:02:13,388 --> 00:02:15,222
We are gonna beat this thing.
60
00:02:15,223 --> 00:02:17,257
We are gonna beat it with love.
61
00:02:17,258 --> 00:02:18,625
Oh, Jackie.
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00:02:18,626 --> 00:02:20,093
Nobody needs this right now.
63
00:02:20,094 --> 00:02:21,261
The doctor said
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00:02:21,262 --> 00:02:24,031
that there is only a one in 10,000 chance
65
00:02:24,032 --> 00:02:26,033
that something could go wrong.
66
00:02:26,034 --> 00:02:27,934
Something could go wrong?
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00:02:27,935 --> 00:02:30,370
Take it easy with the drama, Gwen Patio.
68
00:02:30,371 --> 00:02:31,605
He means Gwyneth Paltrow.
69
00:02:31,606 --> 00:02:33,907
Either way,
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00:02:33,908 --> 00:02:36,343
I'm driving you to the
hospital tomorrow, Marjorie.
71
00:02:36,344 --> 00:02:38,578
No you're not. You have
the big St. Robert's game.
72
00:02:38,579 --> 00:02:40,914
- Marjorie...
- Arthur, your team is undefeated.
73
00:02:40,915 --> 00:02:43,383
You guys actually have a
chance to beat them this year.
74
00:02:43,384 --> 00:02:46,786
Mom's right. We are undefeated.
75
00:02:46,787 --> 00:02:49,789
Is it because of the new assistant coach?
76
00:02:51,492 --> 00:02:54,227
- Who can say?
- I can say.
77
00:02:54,228 --> 00:02:56,229
- It's not you.
- Total coincidence.
78
00:02:57,732 --> 00:02:58,732
Don't listen to them, Ronny.
79
00:02:58,733 --> 00:03:00,533
You've been helpful this year.
80
00:03:00,534 --> 00:03:02,035
I've come to count on you.
81
00:03:02,036 --> 00:03:03,436
Thanks, Dad.
82
00:03:03,437 --> 00:03:06,072
Oh, what if Ronny skips the game
and takes me to the hospital?
83
00:03:06,073 --> 00:03:07,907
Done.
84
00:03:07,908 --> 00:03:09,576
Seriously?
85
00:03:09,577 --> 00:03:10,710
Ronny, you've made a lot of progress,
86
00:03:10,711 --> 00:03:12,145
but you still have a ways to go.
87
00:03:12,146 --> 00:03:13,513
I mean, if it was up to you,
88
00:03:13,514 --> 00:03:15,615
you'd be starting Bennet tomorrow.
89
00:03:15,616 --> 00:03:17,283
You would start Bennet.
90
00:03:17,284 --> 00:03:19,485
Who's Bennet?
91
00:03:19,486 --> 00:03:22,422
Bennet is a kid who hasn't
gotten to play all season.
92
00:03:22,423 --> 00:03:24,324
And I feel bad for him,
93
00:03:24,325 --> 00:03:26,693
because when I played sports, I was...
94
00:03:26,694 --> 00:03:28,394
a bit of a Bennet.
95
00:03:28,395 --> 00:03:29,962
"A bit of a Bennet"?
96
00:03:29,963 --> 00:03:32,098
Pass! Pass!
97
00:03:32,099 --> 00:03:34,534
No, I meant "pass," like "skip me. "
98
00:03:34,535 --> 00:03:37,503
I don't want a turn.
99
00:03:37,504 --> 00:03:40,339
Thank you.
100
00:03:40,340 --> 00:03:41,541
Fine, I was a Ronny...
101
00:03:41,542 --> 00:03:43,810
which is worse than a Bennet.
102
00:03:44,845 --> 00:03:46,112
The point is I need you.
103
00:03:46,113 --> 00:03:47,847
You're the only one who
can take me tomorrow.
104
00:03:47,848 --> 00:03:49,949
Really? The only one?
105
00:03:49,950 --> 00:03:51,317
All right, well, if you're
gonna make me say it.
106
00:03:51,318 --> 00:03:52,785
Jackie is way too dramatic.
107
00:03:52,786 --> 00:03:54,587
(gasps)
108
00:03:54,588 --> 00:03:57,690
Gerard's too squeamish to go
anywhere near the hospital.
109
00:03:57,691 --> 00:04:01,594
Can we please call it "the
large medical complex"?
110
00:04:01,595 --> 00:04:02,728
And Sean...
111
00:04:02,729 --> 00:04:04,263
Is it because the doctors
would be intimidated
112
00:04:04,264 --> 00:04:06,298
by my vast medical knowledge?
113
00:04:06,299 --> 00:04:09,368
Sure.
114
00:04:09,369 --> 00:04:10,770
See? You're the only one.
115
00:04:10,771 --> 00:04:12,805
All right, Mom. I'd be happy to take you.
116
00:04:12,806 --> 00:04:13,939
Thank you, Ronny.
117
00:04:13,940 --> 00:04:16,275
So, I guess I better get
some rest for tomorrow.
118
00:04:17,711 --> 00:04:18,811
Sorry, maybe that wasn't clear.
119
00:04:18,812 --> 00:04:20,312
Everybody go home.
120
00:04:22,516 --> 00:04:23,716
Good night.
121
00:04:23,717 --> 00:04:24,817
See you.
122
00:04:24,818 --> 00:04:26,452
Good luck with the, uh...
123
00:04:26,453 --> 00:04:28,320
(shuddering)
124
00:04:31,157 --> 00:04:32,858
I want you to know no matter what,
125
00:04:32,859 --> 00:04:34,793
I will always treasure the
precious moments that we...
126
00:04:34,794 --> 00:04:35,936
Okay, Jackie, bye-bye.
127
00:04:35,937 --> 00:04:38,786
Sync and corrections by: kDragon
www.Addic7ed.com
128
00:04:38,787 --> 00:04:41,845
The McCarthys S01E07
Original air date 11/12
129
00:04:44,860 --> 00:04:47,080
So, tonight will be our first night apart
130
00:04:47,081 --> 00:04:49,383
since the kids were born.
131
00:04:49,384 --> 00:04:51,285
Wait. What about that weekend
132
00:04:51,286 --> 00:04:53,353
I went to the Cape with Stan Hensley?
133
00:04:53,354 --> 00:04:56,056
- Oh, yeah, and you guys stayed
in that blue cottage?- Mm-hmm.
134
00:04:56,057 --> 00:04:59,026
And you accused him of
cheating at miniature golf?
135
00:04:59,027 --> 00:05:00,193
Exactly.
136
00:05:00,194 --> 00:05:03,030
That was me, Arthur,
and it was our honeymoon.
137
00:05:03,031 --> 00:05:04,431
Oh, yeah.
138
00:05:04,432 --> 00:05:06,099
You know, you can't just pick up your ball,
139
00:05:06,100 --> 00:05:08,335
and put it wherever you want.
140
00:05:08,336 --> 00:05:10,070
The point is I don't want you
141
00:05:10,071 --> 00:05:12,439
to feel nervous about me being away.
142
00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:15,442
"Nervous"? You're gonna be gone
for one afternoon and a night.
143
00:05:15,443 --> 00:05:17,677
Arthur, stop panicking!
144
00:05:18,713 --> 00:05:22,048
It's okay. I made you a survival packet.
145
00:05:22,049 --> 00:05:24,818
Now, emergency phone numbers,
146
00:05:24,819 --> 00:05:26,720
instructions...
147
00:05:26,721 --> 00:05:29,456
the names and genders of all our neighbors.
148
00:05:29,457 --> 00:05:30,357
So you don't
149
00:05:30,358 --> 00:05:33,359
call Mrs. Corrigan "Big Guy. "
150
00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:35,562
She's got a handshake like a vice grip.
151
00:05:35,563 --> 00:05:36,663
Now...
152
00:05:36,664 --> 00:05:38,765
some of the light switches are tricky.
153
00:05:38,766 --> 00:05:41,935
So, as soon as it gets dark, go to bed.
154
00:05:41,936 --> 00:05:45,104
Marjorie! Why do you think I
can't do anything for myself?
155
00:05:45,105 --> 00:05:47,073
Because I live with you.
156
00:05:47,074 --> 00:05:50,076
This toothpaste tastes weird.
157
00:05:50,077 --> 00:05:53,646
Maybe because it's moisturizer.
158
00:05:53,647 --> 00:05:56,582
Those tubes were very similar.
159
00:05:56,583 --> 00:05:58,151
Now, I know you're gonna want
160
00:05:58,152 --> 00:05:59,485
your lucky grilled cheese sandwich
161
00:05:59,486 --> 00:06:00,586
before the game,
162
00:06:00,587 --> 00:06:04,023
but I don't want you using the stove.
163
00:06:04,024 --> 00:06:05,158
So...
164
00:06:05,159 --> 00:06:08,895
I thought you could order a cheese pizza
165
00:06:08,896 --> 00:06:12,765
and then you just fold
the-the pieces together.
166
00:06:14,601 --> 00:06:16,536
And what's this
"Don't forget to hydrate"?
167
00:06:16,537 --> 00:06:17,937
That means drink water. I...
168
00:06:17,938 --> 00:06:19,906
Or other fluids.
169
00:06:19,907 --> 00:06:22,508
And this is the list of other fluids.
170
00:06:22,509 --> 00:06:24,944
You know what?
171
00:06:24,945 --> 00:06:26,579
- I don't need your packet.
- Great.
172
00:06:26,580 --> 00:06:30,149
Well, now that I don't have to
worry about Mr. Self-Sufficient,
173
00:06:30,150 --> 00:06:31,417
I can enjoy my time at the hospital.
174
00:06:31,418 --> 00:06:33,486
It'll be like a vacation. Great.
175
00:06:33,487 --> 00:06:35,021
Send me a postcard.
176
00:06:35,022 --> 00:06:37,256
Oh, I will. And when I get
home, I'll read it to you,
177
00:06:37,257 --> 00:06:39,692
because you don't know
how to bring in the mail.
178
00:06:39,693 --> 00:06:41,894
- I do, too.
- Oh, really?
179
00:06:41,895 --> 00:06:43,129
Point in the direction
180
00:06:43,130 --> 00:06:45,831
of the mailbox.
181
00:06:47,334 --> 00:06:49,502
I'm gonna go out and get
a breath of fresh air,
182
00:06:49,503 --> 00:06:50,970
and when I come back,
183
00:06:50,971 --> 00:06:52,938
I'm gonna answer that question.
184
00:07:01,281 --> 00:07:02,848
So, he yells, "Marjorie, come outside.
185
00:07:02,849 --> 00:07:04,450
I found the mailbox. "
186
00:07:04,451 --> 00:07:05,918
Well, it wasn't the mailbox.
You know what it was.
187
00:07:05,919 --> 00:07:08,053
It was the Corrigans' birdhouse.
188
00:07:09,222 --> 00:07:12,257
He will not survive the night.
189
00:07:12,258 --> 00:07:14,726
Well, that story loses nothing
190
00:07:14,727 --> 00:07:18,197
in its third telling.
191
00:07:18,198 --> 00:07:19,531
Who are you calling?
192
00:07:19,532 --> 00:07:20,799
Dad. I want to let him know
193
00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:21,800
you're about to go under.
194
00:07:21,801 --> 00:07:23,435
ARTHUR: Hello?
195
00:07:23,436 --> 00:07:25,704
Hi, Dad. I'm with Mom.
196
00:07:25,705 --> 00:07:28,974
She's about to go into
surgery, and everything is fine.
197
00:07:28,975 --> 00:07:31,610
Good. Tell her I know it's gonna go great.
198
00:07:31,611 --> 00:07:33,545
And that I'm doing great, too.
199
00:07:33,546 --> 00:07:36,515
Making my grilled cheese as we speak.
200
00:07:36,516 --> 00:07:38,250
Okay. Bye, Dad.
201
00:07:38,251 --> 00:07:41,319
And go team! No? You hung up? Okay.
202
00:07:43,055 --> 00:07:44,923
He's doing great without me?
203
00:07:44,924 --> 00:07:47,125
He's making a sandwich?
204
00:07:47,126 --> 00:07:51,329
Are we in that other life
where Sean is a doctor?
205
00:07:53,032 --> 00:07:56,601
Maybe Dad is more capable than you think.
206
00:07:59,906 --> 00:08:01,940
Gerard, I need help.
207
00:08:01,941 --> 00:08:05,210
I think I broke my ankle
making a grilled cheese.
208
00:08:12,173 --> 00:08:14,307
Well, it's not broken, but
it's a pretty severe sprain.
209
00:08:14,308 --> 00:08:16,143
Two of the ligaments on
the outside of the ankle
210
00:08:16,144 --> 00:08:17,778
have been stretched.
211
00:08:17,779 --> 00:08:19,112
(groans)
212
00:08:19,113 --> 00:08:20,414
But you're lucky they didn't tear.
213
00:08:20,415 --> 00:08:21,615
(groaning)
214
00:08:21,616 --> 00:08:22,783
He's right, Gerard.
215
00:08:22,784 --> 00:08:24,518
Sometimes they can just
rip right off the bone.
216
00:08:24,519 --> 00:08:27,254
Sean, please just let the doctor speak.
217
00:08:27,255 --> 00:08:29,422
And, Doctor, that's enough out of you.
218
00:08:30,958 --> 00:08:32,259
Dad, are you okay?
219
00:08:32,260 --> 00:08:33,393
I'm fine.
220
00:08:33,394 --> 00:08:35,195
So, I'm not sure if I got all the details.
221
00:08:35,196 --> 00:08:37,430
You were home, and the grilled cheese
222
00:08:37,431 --> 00:08:39,799
broke in and attacked you?
223
00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:42,168
Hey, it's a tricky sandwich.
224
00:08:42,169 --> 00:08:43,570
So, Ma's still in surgery?
225
00:08:43,571 --> 00:08:44,704
Yeah.
226
00:08:44,705 --> 00:08:47,974
They gave you an I.V. for a sprained ankle?
227
00:08:47,975 --> 00:08:50,777
Yeah, as it turns out,
I was also dehydrated.
228
00:08:50,778 --> 00:08:52,312
RONNY: Wait.
229
00:08:52,313 --> 00:08:53,313
You're already dehydrated?
230
00:08:53,314 --> 00:08:56,416
Mom has only been gone for half a day.
231
00:08:56,417 --> 00:08:58,418
I run dry, Ronny.
232
00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:02,021
What about the game? I
mean, it starts in an hour.
233
00:09:02,022 --> 00:09:02,989
Yeah, they're keeping me here.
234
00:09:02,990 --> 00:09:04,290
There's no way I can make it.
235
00:09:04,291 --> 00:09:05,925
You're gonna have to coach without me.
236
00:09:05,926 --> 00:09:06,960
Really?
237
00:09:06,961 --> 00:09:09,429
So, I'm gonna be head coach?
238
00:09:10,197 --> 00:09:11,497
I'm so excited!
239
00:09:11,498 --> 00:09:12,932
I'm so nervous.
240
00:09:12,933 --> 00:09:14,300
Don't be nervous, Ronny.
241
00:09:14,301 --> 00:09:15,368
Thanks, Dad.
242
00:09:15,369 --> 00:09:16,269
'Cause you're gonna lose.
243
00:09:16,270 --> 00:09:17,604
What?
244
00:09:17,605 --> 00:09:19,605
Do you know something I don't know?
245
00:09:19,606 --> 00:09:21,374
I know everything you don't know.
246
00:09:21,375 --> 00:09:23,076
That's why you're gonna lose.
247
00:09:23,077 --> 00:09:24,744
But
248
00:09:24,745 --> 00:09:25,945
we can afford one loss.
249
00:09:25,946 --> 00:09:27,246
Silver lining?
250
00:09:27,247 --> 00:09:29,215
You can play Bennet if you want.
251
00:09:29,216 --> 00:09:31,017
You know what, Dad?
252
00:09:31,018 --> 00:09:32,051
I will play Bennet.
253
00:09:32,052 --> 00:09:34,320
And he might rise to the occasion.
254
00:09:34,321 --> 00:09:35,721
If he shows up.
255
00:09:35,722 --> 00:09:37,790
There's a potential conflict with Model UN.
256
00:09:37,791 --> 00:09:39,191
SEAN: Hey, we'd help you
257
00:09:39,192 --> 00:09:41,227
with this game if we
didn't coach a rival team.
258
00:09:41,228 --> 00:09:42,628
Yeah, but seeing as we do,
259
00:09:42,629 --> 00:09:44,196
in addition to starting Bennet,
260
00:09:44,197 --> 00:09:46,499
maybe give yourself some playing time.
261
00:09:46,500 --> 00:09:48,034
Yeah, that's hilarious.
262
00:09:48,035 --> 00:09:49,835
Hey, Gerard... blood clot.
263
00:09:49,836 --> 00:09:51,470
Ah, geez!
264
00:09:52,506 --> 00:09:54,573
Okay, you guys hang out here.
265
00:09:54,574 --> 00:09:57,376
When Mom wakes up, you tell
her I had to go coach for Dad.
266
00:09:57,377 --> 00:09:59,812
And for Bennet.
267
00:09:59,813 --> 00:10:01,480
And for America!
268
00:10:01,481 --> 00:10:03,916
Wait.
269
00:10:03,917 --> 00:10:05,317
No, that's good.
270
00:10:05,318 --> 00:10:07,386
No.
271
00:10:07,387 --> 00:10:09,255
They can't tell her you're coaching for me.
272
00:10:09,256 --> 00:10:11,090
- She can't know I'm here.
- Why not?
273
00:10:11,091 --> 00:10:13,492
Because she thinks I
can't take care of myself.
274
00:10:15,195 --> 00:10:16,495
So you got dehydrated.
275
00:10:16,496 --> 00:10:18,163
It's not like remembering
to drink is something
276
00:10:18,164 --> 00:10:20,799
that all humans, animals and plants do.
277
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:22,301
I'm serious, Ronny.
278
00:10:22,302 --> 00:10:24,069
I want you all to promise me
279
00:10:24,070 --> 00:10:26,004
that you won't tell her I'm in here.
280
00:10:26,005 --> 00:10:27,739
- Okay.
- You got it.
281
00:10:27,740 --> 00:10:29,475
But what are we gonna
tell Ma when she wakes up?
282
00:10:29,476 --> 00:10:30,709
You guys figure it out.
283
00:10:30,710 --> 00:10:31,910
I got a game to win.
284
00:10:31,911 --> 00:10:34,112
And I got a coin to
flip and land on its side
285
00:10:34,113 --> 00:10:36,281
while I'm riding a unicorn.
286
00:10:36,282 --> 00:10:38,484
That would never happen.
287
00:10:39,586 --> 00:10:42,221
A guy riding a unicorn would
never stop to flip a coin.
288
00:10:42,222 --> 00:10:44,356
He'd be like, "Hey, I'm
riding a magical beast.
289
00:10:44,357 --> 00:10:45,791
Let's see how this plays out. "
290
00:10:48,195 --> 00:10:49,728
You know the key to effective lying?
291
00:10:49,729 --> 00:10:51,764
Lots and lots of details.
292
00:10:51,765 --> 00:10:52,998
Why are you telling me this?
293
00:10:52,999 --> 00:10:54,266
'Cause we're gonna have to lie to Ma
294
00:10:54,267 --> 00:10:55,301
about why Ronny's not here.
295
00:10:55,302 --> 00:10:56,602
Sean, she just had surgery.
296
00:10:56,603 --> 00:10:58,037
She's probably not even
going to be focused on...
297
00:10:58,038 --> 00:10:59,305
Where's Ronny?
298
00:11:00,340 --> 00:11:02,007
Oh, uh, hi, Ma.
299
00:11:02,008 --> 00:11:04,209
Um, Ronny went to go get you a book,
300
00:11:04,210 --> 00:11:07,246
but he called, and he
said he's stuck in traffic.
301
00:11:08,314 --> 00:11:11,717
Further details include...
302
00:11:11,718 --> 00:11:14,153
they closed the road
'cause a midsize SUV struck
303
00:11:14,154 --> 00:11:16,255
a utility pole on Huntington Avenue.
304
00:11:17,390 --> 00:11:20,793
The driver was a 42-year-old
male named Larry Pike.
305
00:11:20,794 --> 00:11:22,427
Mm, poor Ronny.
306
00:11:22,428 --> 00:11:24,963
Damn you, Larry Pike.
307
00:11:24,964 --> 00:11:26,765
(laughs)
308
00:11:26,766 --> 00:11:28,467
Larry Pike.
309
00:11:28,468 --> 00:11:31,737
(laughing): Larry Pike.
310
00:11:31,738 --> 00:11:35,407
I can't stay mad at you.
311
00:11:35,408 --> 00:11:36,875
I think she bought it.
312
00:11:36,876 --> 00:11:38,944
Must be the drugs she's on.
313
00:11:38,945 --> 00:11:40,812
Or my details.
314
00:11:40,813 --> 00:11:42,781
Regis Philbin is a spy.
315
00:11:42,782 --> 00:11:44,182
Shh...
316
00:11:44,183 --> 00:11:46,284
I don't think it's the details.
317
00:11:46,285 --> 00:11:48,220
Kelly Ripa's cool, though.
318
00:11:48,221 --> 00:11:49,755
(laughing)
319
00:11:56,162 --> 00:11:58,697
Thank you for sharing, Chris.
320
00:11:58,698 --> 00:12:01,499
And I am thankful for all of you.
321
00:12:01,500 --> 00:12:02,934
Wasn't this fun?
322
00:12:02,935 --> 00:12:05,170
Now, for our starters, we're gonna go
323
00:12:05,171 --> 00:12:09,841
with Darryl, Kyle, James, Nate and Bennet.
324
00:12:09,842 --> 00:12:13,645
Um, you accidentally said my name.
325
00:12:13,646 --> 00:12:14,913
No accident, Bennet.
326
00:12:14,914 --> 00:12:16,948
Now, get out there, show
'em what you got. Come on.
327
00:12:16,949 --> 00:12:18,983
W... What do I got?
328
00:12:18,984 --> 00:12:21,086
Let's find out.
329
00:12:25,958 --> 00:12:28,459
Oh, boy.
330
00:12:29,595 --> 00:12:32,430
And in a real head-scratcher of a move,
331
00:12:32,431 --> 00:12:35,300
the Saints are starting
Bennet Mason at point guard.
332
00:12:35,301 --> 00:12:36,601
Bennet hasn't seen a single minute
333
00:12:36,602 --> 00:12:38,136
of playing time all season,
334
00:12:38,137 --> 00:12:40,805
due to the fact that
he's not a good player.
335
00:12:40,806 --> 00:12:43,541
Well, one thing you can say about Bennet-
336
00:12:43,542 --> 00:12:46,644
he was my lab partner in Biology.
337
00:12:46,645 --> 00:12:47,979
Thank you, Jared.
338
00:12:49,848 --> 00:12:51,849
How's your mother?
339
00:12:51,850 --> 00:12:53,685
She's fine... the drugs are wearing off,
340
00:12:53,686 --> 00:12:55,119
so she finally stopped asking the nurse
341
00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:56,421
when the plane was gonna land.
342
00:12:56,422 --> 00:12:58,623
I'm gonna miss being the air marshal.
343
00:12:58,624 --> 00:12:59,857
And the flight attendant.
344
00:12:59,858 --> 00:13:00,858
And the pilot.
345
00:13:00,859 --> 00:13:03,194
He would not play.
346
00:13:03,195 --> 00:13:04,962
Anyways, she thinks you're at
the game, so you're all good.
347
00:13:04,963 --> 00:13:06,163
(cell phone rings)
348
00:13:06,164 --> 00:13:07,431
Oh, it's her.
349
00:13:07,432 --> 00:13:09,066
- What do I do?
- Don't answer it.
350
00:13:09,067 --> 00:13:11,235
I don't know how to do that. Hello?
351
00:13:11,236 --> 00:13:12,103
She thinks you're at the game.
352
00:13:12,104 --> 00:13:15,406
Arthur speaking, from the game.
353
00:13:15,407 --> 00:13:18,209
Arthur, this might be
the medication talking-
354
00:13:18,210 --> 00:13:19,543
earlier I was questioning
355
00:13:19,544 --> 00:13:22,179
Regis Philbin's loyalty to our country
356
00:13:22,180 --> 00:13:25,216
and praising Kelly Ripa a little too much-
357
00:13:25,217 --> 00:13:27,318
but I learned something today,
358
00:13:27,319 --> 00:13:29,320
and I never thought that I would say this,
359
00:13:29,321 --> 00:13:33,757
but you have displayed minimal competence.
360
00:13:33,758 --> 00:13:36,227
Ah, you don't have to say that.
361
00:13:36,228 --> 00:13:39,463
No, I do, and I'm sorry I
insulted you with that packet.
362
00:13:39,464 --> 00:13:42,900
I mean, instructions on
how to make a sandwich?
363
00:13:42,901 --> 00:13:45,302
Only an idiot would need those.
364
00:13:45,303 --> 00:13:47,304
Water under the bridge.
365
00:13:47,305 --> 00:13:49,306
Well, okay, I don't want to keep you.
366
00:13:49,307 --> 00:13:52,042
I know you're in the middle of the game.
367
00:13:52,043 --> 00:13:53,811
It's awful quite at the game.
368
00:13:53,812 --> 00:13:55,112
Half time.
369
00:13:55,113 --> 00:13:56,113
Moment of silence.
370
00:13:56,114 --> 00:13:57,214
Somebody died.
371
00:13:57,215 --> 00:13:59,450
Okay, I should get off the phone now.
372
00:13:59,451 --> 00:14:00,951
Uh, getting some dirty looks.
373
00:14:00,952 --> 00:14:02,186
Bye, Marjorie.
374
00:14:02,187 --> 00:14:04,988
Oh.
375
00:14:04,989 --> 00:14:06,323
'Kay.
376
00:14:06,324 --> 00:14:07,624
Nice work, Dad.
377
00:14:07,625 --> 00:14:08,892
Very nice.
378
00:14:08,893 --> 00:14:10,294
Lots of details.
379
00:14:10,295 --> 00:14:13,897
If she asks, tell her the
deceased was named Larry Pike.
380
00:14:13,898 --> 00:14:15,966
It works, 'cause he was in
an accident she heard about.
381
00:14:15,967 --> 00:14:17,167
(knocking on door) WOMAN: Mr. McCarthy.
382
00:14:17,168 --> 00:14:18,969
If you sign these, we can release you now.
383
00:14:18,970 --> 00:14:20,203
Ah, great.
384
00:14:20,204 --> 00:14:22,773
I'll be gone before your
mom even knows I was here.
385
00:14:22,774 --> 00:14:25,042
All right, you two can
wheel him down the hallway,
386
00:14:25,043 --> 00:14:27,077
and then take the
elevator down to the lobby.
387
00:14:27,078 --> 00:14:29,012
Oh, we're gonna have to go by Ma's room.
388
00:14:29,013 --> 00:14:30,447
Is there another way out of here?
389
00:14:30,448 --> 00:14:32,082
Well, there is but...
390
00:14:32,083 --> 00:14:33,650
with a sprained ankle and dehydration,
391
00:14:33,651 --> 00:14:35,619
let's just hope it doesn't end up that way.
392
00:14:35,620 --> 00:14:36,953
Thanks.
393
00:14:36,954 --> 00:14:39,923
Best "my dad might die"
joke I've ever heard.
394
00:14:41,626 --> 00:14:44,961
Okay, you go distract Ma so she
doesn't see Dad when we go by.
395
00:14:44,962 --> 00:14:47,430
This is so exciting,
all this sneaking around.
396
00:14:47,431 --> 00:14:49,966
I feel like Regis Philbin.
397
00:14:52,603 --> 00:14:54,437
Ma, what are you doing?
398
00:14:54,438 --> 00:14:56,873
Well, the nurse told me to get
up on my feet and walk a little,
399
00:14:56,874 --> 00:14:59,075
so I've got big plans
- I'm going to the lobby.
400
00:14:59,076 --> 00:15:00,410
Oh, no... medically speaking,
401
00:15:00,411 --> 00:15:02,078
that's the worst thing you could do.
402
00:15:02,079 --> 00:15:03,113
What are you talking about?
403
00:15:03,114 --> 00:15:04,280
Remember Larry Pike?
404
00:15:04,281 --> 00:15:05,448
From the accident?
405
00:15:05,449 --> 00:15:06,883
No.
406
00:15:06,884 --> 00:15:08,752
Well, he's real.
407
00:15:08,753 --> 00:15:10,220
When they brought him to the hospital
408
00:15:10,221 --> 00:15:11,354
for his injuries and such,
409
00:15:11,355 --> 00:15:12,322
they saved his life,
410
00:15:12,323 --> 00:15:13,723
but then the nurse told old Larry
411
00:15:13,724 --> 00:15:15,491
to take a walk down to the lobby.
412
00:15:15,492 --> 00:15:17,427
Two minutes later, dead.
413
00:15:17,428 --> 00:15:20,296
Cause of death
walking to the lobby.
414
00:15:20,297 --> 00:15:23,199
Sean, if you find pills
laying around the hospital,
415
00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:24,400
you can't just take them.
416
00:15:24,401 --> 00:15:25,602
Now, move.
417
00:15:28,973 --> 00:15:31,007
Ugh, get a hat, buddy.
418
00:15:31,008 --> 00:15:32,008
Hurry up.
419
00:15:32,009 --> 00:15:34,010
I'm trying.
420
00:15:34,011 --> 00:15:35,545
MARJORIE: Sean, the elevator is that way.
421
00:15:35,546 --> 00:15:37,146
(elevator bell dings)
422
00:15:42,886 --> 00:15:44,687
Let's get a bone saw to the O.R.
423
00:15:44,688 --> 00:15:46,823
We need to get this guy's chest open.
424
00:15:46,824 --> 00:15:48,524
Go on without me.
425
00:15:50,327 --> 00:15:52,328
(elevator bell dings)
426
00:15:54,531 --> 00:15:55,865
Oh, my God.
427
00:15:55,866 --> 00:15:58,067
Gerard, are you all right?
428
00:15:58,068 --> 00:15:59,101
Yeah, just chillin'.
429
00:15:59,102 --> 00:16:00,303
(elevator bell dings)
430
00:16:03,206 --> 00:16:05,041
Arthur?
431
00:16:05,042 --> 00:16:06,409
No.
432
00:16:06,410 --> 00:16:08,077
Arthur's at the game.
433
00:16:14,153 --> 00:16:15,987
So, you almost broke your ankle,
434
00:16:15,988 --> 00:16:18,456
and you forgot to drink. What else, Arthur?
435
00:16:18,457 --> 00:16:20,025
What did you call Mrs. Corrigan?
436
00:16:20,026 --> 00:16:21,359
Buddy? Chief?
437
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:22,694
Slugger.
438
00:16:23,596 --> 00:16:25,030
It's a buzz cut, Marjorie.
439
00:16:25,031 --> 00:16:26,998
She looks like Mickey Mantle.
440
00:16:28,167 --> 00:16:29,768
Oh, my God.
441
00:16:29,769 --> 00:16:33,671
You survived, and you
got to keep your foot.
442
00:16:33,672 --> 00:16:35,473
Our rock is here.
443
00:16:35,474 --> 00:16:38,910
Whew, traffic, traffic, traffic.
444
00:16:39,779 --> 00:16:42,180
The line at the book store, and...
445
00:16:42,181 --> 00:16:43,681
Dad is here.
446
00:16:43,682 --> 00:16:46,017
Would it kill someone to shoot me a text?
447
00:16:46,886 --> 00:16:48,086
She knows everything.
448
00:16:48,087 --> 00:16:49,387
Oh.
449
00:16:49,388 --> 00:16:53,057
Well, does she know that
we beat St. Robert's?
450
00:16:53,058 --> 00:16:55,293
- What? Really?
- Way to go.
451
00:16:55,294 --> 00:16:56,928
We haven't beat those guys in six years.
452
00:16:56,929 --> 00:16:58,630
How the hell did that happen?
453
00:16:58,631 --> 00:17:00,431
Substitution!
454
00:17:00,432 --> 00:17:01,432
The game hasn't started yet.
455
00:17:01,433 --> 00:17:02,433
I know, but I need
456
00:17:02,434 --> 00:17:03,735
to get that kid off the court.
457
00:17:03,736 --> 00:17:04,702
Like, now.
458
00:17:04,703 --> 00:17:05,770
Bennet, back on the bench!
459
00:17:05,771 --> 00:17:07,805
Thank you, sir.
460
00:17:11,143 --> 00:17:12,143
Did you see that?
461
00:17:12,144 --> 00:17:14,011
I started, bitches.
462
00:17:17,115 --> 00:17:18,482
Something just snapped.
463
00:17:18,483 --> 00:17:20,751
In that moment, I didn't care about Bennet,
464
00:17:20,752 --> 00:17:22,787
or who had the gratitude feather.
465
00:17:23,589 --> 00:17:25,389
I just needed to win.
466
00:17:25,390 --> 00:17:27,425
But even with all your
starters, how'd you do it?
467
00:17:27,426 --> 00:17:30,094
Well, I remembered how Dad had
the team do a full-court press
468
00:17:30,095 --> 00:17:32,763
at the end of the Hyde Park
game, and it seemed to work.
469
00:17:32,764 --> 00:17:35,066
So, I just did that for the whole game.
470
00:17:35,067 --> 00:17:36,267
GERARD: Ronny.
471
00:17:36,268 --> 00:17:38,636
Teams only do that for,
like, a minute at a time.
472
00:17:38,637 --> 00:17:40,438
People can't handle that much running.
473
00:17:40,439 --> 00:17:43,140
Geez, you sound like their parents.
474
00:17:43,141 --> 00:17:44,441
"Boo, Hoo.
475
00:17:44,442 --> 00:17:46,177
"Nate's tired,
476
00:17:46,178 --> 00:17:47,678
"James just threw up,
477
00:17:47,679 --> 00:17:49,914
Kyle can't unbend his legs. "
478
00:17:49,915 --> 00:17:52,283
What a bunch of drama queens.
479
00:17:53,351 --> 00:17:54,818
You've changed, Ronny.
480
00:17:54,819 --> 00:17:57,054
I like it.
481
00:17:57,055 --> 00:17:58,422
Maybe next game,
482
00:17:58,423 --> 00:18:00,357
we only press a little.
483
00:18:00,358 --> 00:18:01,692
Yeah, let me know how that goes,
484
00:18:01,693 --> 00:18:04,428
and then call me when you want to win.
485
00:18:04,429 --> 00:18:05,796
Come on, Dad, let's get you home.
486
00:18:05,797 --> 00:18:07,431
Yeah, and Mom can get some rest.
487
00:18:07,432 --> 00:18:09,666
I need a minute with your mother.
488
00:18:09,667 --> 00:18:10,834
You got it.
489
00:18:10,835 --> 00:18:13,470
Let's go, Bobby Knight.
490
00:18:13,471 --> 00:18:15,739
I'm guessing that's the
name of an aggressive coach?
491
00:18:15,740 --> 00:18:17,074
Nice, Ronny.
492
00:18:17,075 --> 00:18:18,742
I used context clues.
493
00:18:21,179 --> 00:18:22,613
I just want to say,
494
00:18:22,614 --> 00:18:25,215
I'm sorry I didn't tell
you I was in the hospital.
495
00:18:25,216 --> 00:18:26,617
It's okay, I know why you didn't.
496
00:18:26,618 --> 00:18:28,885
That packet made you feel really stupid.
497
00:18:28,886 --> 00:18:31,955
Clearly, I could have used it.
498
00:18:31,956 --> 00:18:34,091
You know what I realized, Arthur?
499
00:18:34,092 --> 00:18:36,026
I wasn't worried about tonight or today.
500
00:18:36,027 --> 00:18:38,962
I was worried about-
501
00:18:38,963 --> 00:18:41,498
what if something really went wrong?
502
00:18:41,499 --> 00:18:45,035
What if I ended up like Larry Pike?
503
00:18:45,036 --> 00:18:46,169
Who's that?
504
00:18:46,170 --> 00:18:48,205
I don't know.
505
00:18:48,206 --> 00:18:50,974
But he's dead and...
506
00:18:50,975 --> 00:18:52,576
what if that happened to me?
507
00:18:52,577 --> 00:18:55,312
I would just want to make sure
that you were taken care of.
508
00:18:55,313 --> 00:18:56,613
Oh, Marjorie.
509
00:18:56,614 --> 00:18:59,282
God forbid, if anything
ever happened to you,
510
00:18:59,283 --> 00:19:01,718
I'd need much more than a packet.
511
00:19:01,719 --> 00:19:04,521
Well, a packet is all you're gonna get.
512
00:19:05,456 --> 00:19:07,223
You're not allowed to remarry.
513
00:19:07,224 --> 00:19:11,227
However, I would make an
exception for Mrs. Corrigan.
514
00:19:11,228 --> 00:19:14,264
I'd feel safe in those beefy arms.
515
00:19:15,399 --> 00:19:17,200
Dad, you ready?
516
00:19:17,201 --> 00:19:20,036
You know what, you guys go on ahead.
517
00:19:20,037 --> 00:19:21,738
I'm gonna stay here with my wife.
518
00:19:22,606 --> 00:19:26,276
(choked up): I can't.
519
00:19:26,277 --> 00:19:28,478
I gotta...
520
00:19:31,649 --> 00:19:33,683
You really want to stay here with me?
521
00:19:33,684 --> 00:19:36,185
Eh, we don't need a night apart.
522
00:19:36,186 --> 00:19:38,755
How about I take care
of you for a change, huh?
523
00:19:38,756 --> 00:19:40,490
Thank you.
524
00:19:40,491 --> 00:19:41,624
That'd be really nice.
525
00:19:41,625 --> 00:19:42,892
You want to watch some TV?
526
00:19:42,893 --> 00:19:44,227
Mm-hmm.
527
00:19:44,228 --> 00:19:47,797
A remote is the one thing I
know how to operate myself.
528
00:19:55,106 --> 00:19:58,531
Arthur, don't.
Oh, God!
529
00:19:58,532 --> 00:20:01,607
Sync and corrections by: kDragon
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530
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