Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,755 --> 00:00:03,622
Charlie, I can't believe
2
00:00:03,575 --> 00:00:06,009
we stayed out
until 5:00 a.m.
3
00:00:05,937 --> 00:00:08,504
Hey, what do you say
we go home
4
00:00:08,427 --> 00:00:10,293
and nap all day long?
5
00:00:10,247 --> 00:00:11,681
I'd love to,
6
00:00:11,652 --> 00:00:14,352
but I kind of have to
run New York City.
7
00:00:14,269 --> 00:00:17,703
You are so cute
when you're responsible.
8
00:00:17,590 --> 00:00:19,457
Have a good day
at work.
9
00:00:19,409 --> 00:00:20,609
Have a good day
10
00:00:20,591 --> 00:00:24,257
at taking some time off
to find yourself.
11
00:00:24,133 --> 00:00:25,666
Oh, and you really think
the sideburns work?
12
00:00:25,634 --> 00:00:27,600
Oh, yes.
13
00:00:27,550 --> 00:00:30,316
People are going
to love them.
14
00:00:32,241 --> 00:00:35,042
Whoa, direct
from Beverly hills,
15
00:00:34,956 --> 00:00:38,388
it's Luke Perry.
Ha ha ha ha.
16
00:00:38,276 --> 00:00:41,509
Hey, welcome back,
kotter.
17
00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:46,046
Hey, leave Chester a. Arthur
alone.
18
00:00:45,969 --> 00:00:48,470
[LAUGHING]
19
00:00:48,426 --> 00:00:50,693
He was the 21st president
of the United States.
20
00:00:50,630 --> 00:00:51,897
Ha ha ha ha.
21
00:00:51,875 --> 00:00:54,842
He had huge sideburns.
22
00:00:54,748 --> 00:00:56,314
You guys
are just jealous
23
00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:58,146
because unlike you,
I had fun this weekend.
24
00:00:58,099 --> 00:01:00,600
Hey, we had plenty of fun.
25
00:01:00,526 --> 00:01:03,426
Yeah? I'll bet I can guess
what every one of you did.
26
00:01:03,336 --> 00:01:04,536
Okay.
27
00:01:04,517 --> 00:01:07,450
Took a vita-bath
and listened to dido.
28
00:01:07,358 --> 00:01:09,491
Ha ha.
29
00:01:09,433 --> 00:01:11,699
The same.
30
00:01:13,104 --> 00:01:15,703
Made prank calls
telling people to come
31
00:01:15,626 --> 00:01:18,526
pick up free big-screen tvs
in Atlantic city.
32
00:01:21,595 --> 00:01:26,429
Rented a u-haul,
drove to Atlantic city.
33
00:01:26,256 --> 00:01:28,056
Good morning,
everyone.
34
00:01:28,012 --> 00:01:30,778
What do you think of
Charlie's new style?
35
00:01:30,693 --> 00:01:33,494
Well, it looks fine to me.
Thank you, sir.
36
00:01:33,406 --> 00:01:35,107
Of course,
he would look better
37
00:01:35,067 --> 00:01:37,301
if he were on the cover of
a grand funk railroad album.
38
00:01:37,237 --> 00:01:39,237
[LAUGHTER]
39
00:02:12,386 --> 00:02:15,186
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
40
00:02:15,099 --> 00:02:16,399
Hello?
41
00:02:16,376 --> 00:02:19,242
TRACY: Hey, baby.
We're on our way up.
42
00:02:19,153 --> 00:02:22,386
I hope you are so psyched
to party all night,
43
00:02:22,281 --> 00:02:25,116
because I got us vip tickets
to kaboom.
44
00:02:25,027 --> 00:02:27,893
Oh, I'm so psyched.
45
00:02:27,805 --> 00:02:29,438
I've been dying to get
into that place.
46
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:31,600
And we are going
to party all night.
47
00:02:31,540 --> 00:02:33,406
So, are you having f...
see ya.
48
00:02:37,572 --> 00:02:39,073
Hi. Kaboom?
49
00:02:39,041 --> 00:02:41,241
This is Charlie Crawford,
deputy mayor.
50
00:02:41,180 --> 00:02:43,214
Yeah, we got
to shut you down tonight.
51
00:02:43,159 --> 00:02:47,259
Your kitchen's in violation
of a city health code.
52
00:02:47,118 --> 00:02:48,417
No kitchen?
53
00:02:48,394 --> 00:02:50,761
All right, I'm going
to level with you.
54
00:02:50,694 --> 00:02:52,527
I'm with the vice squad.
55
00:02:52,481 --> 00:02:54,348
We need to use your club
to stake out
56
00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:57,334
the seedy establishment
across the street from you.
57
00:02:57,237 --> 00:02:59,870
Yes, the Christian science
reading room.
58
00:02:59,791 --> 00:03:00,925
Charlie.
59
00:03:00,908 --> 00:03:02,975
Charlie, we're worried
about you.
60
00:03:02,919 --> 00:03:04,219
You've been out every night
this week,
61
00:03:04,197 --> 00:03:06,396
and you look exhausted.
What's going on?
62
00:03:06,335 --> 00:03:08,036
Nothing.
63
00:03:07,995 --> 00:03:09,528
I'm having a good time.
64
00:03:09,496 --> 00:03:11,796
You're obviously having
an early midlife crisis.
65
00:03:11,730 --> 00:03:13,130
I mean, I'm roughly
your age,
66
00:03:13,103 --> 00:03:15,303
and you don't see me
dating 23-year-olds.
67
00:03:15,242 --> 00:03:17,409
That's because
they're repulsed by you.
68
00:03:17,349 --> 00:03:18,815
Oh, that doesn't hold up.
69
00:03:18,785 --> 00:03:21,453
So are 50-year-olds,
and I date them.
70
00:03:21,371 --> 00:03:24,804
Charlie, as your friend,
71
00:03:24,691 --> 00:03:26,558
I feel compelled to tell you
72
00:03:26,510 --> 00:03:28,410
that those sideburns
really do come off
73
00:03:28,362 --> 00:03:30,830
as a desperate attempt
to cling to your youth.
74
00:03:30,757 --> 00:03:33,024
Kind of like the way
you shave your head
75
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:34,960
so people won't see
your bald spot?
76
00:03:34,907 --> 00:03:36,039
Ha ha ha.
77
00:03:36,023 --> 00:03:37,557
Good one, Charlie.
78
00:03:37,525 --> 00:03:40,425
At least I don't look
like the third Duke of Hazzard.
79
00:03:40,334 --> 00:03:42,301
If you guys don't mind,
80
00:03:42,249 --> 00:03:46,882
I need to get ready
to go out.
81
00:03:46,718 --> 00:03:47,885
Charlie,
why don't you accept
82
00:03:47,867 --> 00:03:49,168
that you can't
keep up with Tracy?
83
00:03:49,145 --> 00:03:51,178
So I'm a little tired.
84
00:03:51,124 --> 00:03:53,390
That's what happens when
you're having a good time.
85
00:03:53,326 --> 00:03:55,226
You wouldn't know.
You're too busy playing bingo
86
00:03:55,177 --> 00:03:56,211
with Tracy's dad.
87
00:03:56,199 --> 00:03:58,766
Hey, bingo is very hip
these days.
88
00:03:58,690 --> 00:04:00,823
Besides,
when I close down a bar,
89
00:04:00,765 --> 00:04:03,030
at least I don't do it
over the phone.
90
00:04:02,967 --> 00:04:05,200
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
91
00:04:05,138 --> 00:04:06,338
Hey, Charlie.
92
00:04:06,319 --> 00:04:07,520
Hey, Caitlin.
93
00:04:07,501 --> 00:04:08,800
Hey.
94
00:04:08,777 --> 00:04:10,743
So, ready to go
to kaboom?
95
00:04:10,693 --> 00:04:12,492
Yes.
96
00:04:12,448 --> 00:04:14,115
You want to come?
97
00:04:14,076 --> 00:04:15,843
Really?
98
00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:17,700
Yeah, I mean,
you are dating my dad,
99
00:04:17,652 --> 00:04:19,852
and you have been trying
to get to know me better.
100
00:04:19,791 --> 00:04:21,090
All right. Let's go.
101
00:04:21,067 --> 00:04:23,534
Where are you guys going?
I want to go.
102
00:04:23,462 --> 00:04:25,729
Sorry, I can't get
any more people
103
00:04:25,665 --> 00:04:28,665
on the vip list,
and you'd have to wait in line.
104
00:04:28,570 --> 00:04:30,036
Yeah, Paul, I'm sure
you got better things to do
105
00:04:30,006 --> 00:04:31,873
than wait in the freezing cold
for six hours
106
00:04:31,825 --> 00:04:34,026
trying to convince some bouncer
you're worthy of getting in.
107
00:04:33,965 --> 00:04:37,698
Should I wear jeans?
108
00:04:46,670 --> 00:04:47,936
Oh, my God.
109
00:04:47,915 --> 00:04:49,182
That's Martin Davis.
110
00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:51,194
He's the biggest art dealer
in the city.
111
00:04:51,139 --> 00:04:53,072
I'm guessing
he's also gay.
112
00:04:53,023 --> 00:04:55,156
Why, just because
he's dressed well?
113
00:04:55,098 --> 00:04:58,664
No, because you're
sucking in your stomach.
114
00:04:58,545 --> 00:05:00,979
I'll admit it's true.
115
00:05:00,908 --> 00:05:03,042
I've had a little crush on him
for quite some time.
116
00:05:02,983 --> 00:05:04,616
He just looks like
one of those
117
00:05:04,579 --> 00:05:06,912
stuffy, pretentious,
high-society snobs.
118
00:05:06,846 --> 00:05:08,812
I know. He's perfect.
119
00:05:11,953 --> 00:05:14,287
Sir, what was
Martin Davis doing here?
120
00:05:14,220 --> 00:05:16,154
He invited me to a fund-raiser
he's throwing tonight.
121
00:05:16,103 --> 00:05:18,070
I bought a few seats,
but I'm not going to go.
122
00:05:18,019 --> 00:05:19,652
It's for
predominantly gay men.
123
00:05:19,614 --> 00:05:21,048
I don't think I fit in.
124
00:05:21,019 --> 00:05:23,186
Sir, you were the grand marshal
at the gay pride parade.
125
00:05:23,127 --> 00:05:24,193
You seemed comfortable.
126
00:05:24,181 --> 00:05:26,647
Yeah, but I was
high above the crowd
127
00:05:26,574 --> 00:05:29,041
in that leaning tower
of pisa float.
128
00:05:28,969 --> 00:05:30,768
That wasn't
the leaning tower of pisa.
129
00:05:30,724 --> 00:05:33,724
That was a giant...
no.
130
00:05:33,629 --> 00:05:34,729
Sir...
131
00:05:34,715 --> 00:05:37,147
I think it's very important
that you attend.
132
00:05:37,077 --> 00:05:39,277
Martin Davis could be
a very influential supporter
133
00:05:39,215 --> 00:05:40,382
of your administration.
134
00:05:40,366 --> 00:05:42,399
Well, that's certainly true.
135
00:05:42,344 --> 00:05:43,911
Tell you what...
I'll go along to help out.
136
00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:47,577
That's an excellent idea,
Carter. It's a date.
137
00:05:47,452 --> 00:05:49,019
Wait, if people
see us together,
138
00:05:48,985 --> 00:05:50,951
they may get
the wrong idea.
139
00:05:50,900 --> 00:05:54,032
Stuart, why don't you come?
Oh, I'd love to, sir.
140
00:05:53,931 --> 00:05:57,298
Great. It's a threesome.
Nothing gay about that.
141
00:06:00,955 --> 00:06:04,122
You're really gonna go?
Why wouldn't I?
142
00:06:04,020 --> 00:06:06,120
Because it's going to be populated
by the gay elite of this city.
143
00:06:06,063 --> 00:06:07,196
You don't belong.
144
00:06:07,181 --> 00:06:08,847
I take you to
straight events.
145
00:06:08,808 --> 00:06:11,441
That's because you know women love gay men.
You use me as bait.
146
00:06:11,362 --> 00:06:13,029
Oh, you figured that out?
147
00:06:12,990 --> 00:06:14,857
I don't care what you say.
I'm going.
148
00:06:14,810 --> 00:06:18,310
Going where? Where are you guys
going? I want to go.
149
00:06:18,194 --> 00:06:21,761
It's a fund-raiser. The mayor can
only put 2 people on his guest list.
150
00:06:21,642 --> 00:06:23,608
Aw, come on.
I never get included.
151
00:06:23,558 --> 00:06:24,924
I wanna be on the list,
152
00:06:24,898 --> 00:06:26,898
and I don't want
any lame excuses.
153
00:06:26,845 --> 00:06:29,112
Well, the truth is,
due to the building codes
154
00:06:29,048 --> 00:06:31,681
and the way the chandeliers
are hung in the ballroom,
155
00:06:31,601 --> 00:06:34,168
they're only allowing a
certain number of guests in
156
00:06:34,092 --> 00:06:35,324
with your... Height.
157
00:06:35,305 --> 00:06:37,972
Well, can't get around
safety.
158
00:06:37,891 --> 00:06:39,558
Thanks anyway, buddy.
159
00:07:11,793 --> 00:07:13,260
Hey, Charlie,
160
00:07:13,230 --> 00:07:16,130
I think we're gonna head over
to house of noise now.
161
00:07:16,038 --> 00:07:17,404
Is it open this late?
162
00:07:17,379 --> 00:07:19,312
Are you kidding?
Things at house of noise
163
00:07:19,262 --> 00:07:21,930
don't even get started
till 1:00.
164
00:07:21,849 --> 00:07:24,282
Charlie, you were right.
This is really fun.
165
00:07:24,210 --> 00:07:26,411
Oh, you don't
have to tell me.
166
00:07:26,350 --> 00:07:28,883
I've been doing this...
12 nights in a row.
167
00:07:30,564 --> 00:07:32,431
I've got kamikaze shots.
168
00:07:32,383 --> 00:07:33,383
Yeah!
169
00:07:33,374 --> 00:07:34,340
Yeah!
170
00:07:34,331 --> 00:07:35,297
Yeah!
171
00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:38,322
[UNENTHUSED]
Yeah.
172
00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:39,525
On the count of 3...
173
00:07:39,502 --> 00:07:41,036
1, 2, 3.
174
00:07:46,813 --> 00:07:48,945
Ah.
175
00:07:48,887 --> 00:07:50,654
I'm going to go
crowd surf.
176
00:07:50,612 --> 00:07:51,944
All right.
177
00:07:53,995 --> 00:07:56,728
Incoming!
178
00:07:56,645 --> 00:07:59,279
Whoo! Yeah!
179
00:07:59,199 --> 00:08:01,465
Whoo-hoo! Whoo!
180
00:08:01,401 --> 00:08:03,202
Charlie,
this is not fun.
181
00:08:03,158 --> 00:08:05,390
Just admit you'd rather be
at home sleeping right now.
182
00:08:05,328 --> 00:08:08,428
And miss partying
with my woman? No way.
183
00:08:08,329 --> 00:08:10,229
It's so loud you can't even
talk to your woman.
184
00:08:10,180 --> 00:08:13,381
Say these words.
"I'd rather be in bed."
185
00:08:13,277 --> 00:08:16,043
Would a guy
who'd rather be in bed do this?
186
00:08:19,215 --> 00:08:21,481
Incoming!
187
00:08:21,417 --> 00:08:22,417
[THUD]
188
00:08:40,763 --> 00:08:42,063
Carter.
189
00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:45,207
I'm ready to go
mingle with the gays.
190
00:08:45,104 --> 00:08:46,838
Any tips for me?
191
00:08:46,796 --> 00:08:48,896
Okay, tip number one...
192
00:08:48,839 --> 00:08:51,706
don't use the term
"the gays."
193
00:08:51,617 --> 00:08:53,617
Sir, you're a very witty
and interesting man.
194
00:08:53,564 --> 00:08:55,697
Just be yourself. I'm sure
you'll charm their pants off.
195
00:08:55,639 --> 00:08:59,439
I don't want
their pants off.
196
00:08:59,311 --> 00:09:02,077
Hey. So, you making any headway
with Martin?
197
00:09:01,991 --> 00:09:04,525
It's going well,
but every time I get on a roll,
198
00:09:04,451 --> 00:09:06,516
his friend interrupts.
199
00:09:06,461 --> 00:09:08,461
Do me a favor.
Strike up a conversation
200
00:09:08,408 --> 00:09:10,075
with the friend
so he's out of my way.
201
00:09:10,037 --> 00:09:12,937
Are you asking me
to be your gay wingman?
202
00:09:12,846 --> 00:09:15,379
Can we not point out the depth
to which I'm sinking?
203
00:09:15,303 --> 00:09:16,871
Look, I wouldn't know
what to say.
204
00:09:16,836 --> 00:09:18,469
Just talk to them
like you talk to me.
205
00:09:18,432 --> 00:09:20,165
I'm gay. You've lived
with me for six years.
206
00:09:20,124 --> 00:09:22,224
All right,
I'll try it.
207
00:09:25,615 --> 00:09:28,848
Hi. I'm Stuart.
208
00:09:28,744 --> 00:09:30,144
Martin.
209
00:09:30,116 --> 00:09:31,382
Some turnout, huh?
210
00:09:31,361 --> 00:09:34,228
Oh, yes, we had
over 200 rsvps.
211
00:09:34,139 --> 00:09:36,438
Wow. What did you do,
212
00:09:36,373 --> 00:09:39,774
tell them you were going
to raffle off a pink miata?
213
00:09:39,661 --> 00:09:41,828
[LAUGHING]
214
00:09:48,057 --> 00:09:49,656
So...
215
00:09:49,620 --> 00:09:51,520
You're having fun?
216
00:09:51,473 --> 00:09:52,940
A blast.
217
00:09:52,909 --> 00:09:54,609
How much longer
do you think it'll be?
218
00:09:54,569 --> 00:09:56,336
Not long.
219
00:10:04,050 --> 00:10:05,551
That's cool,
220
00:10:05,519 --> 00:10:07,719
'cause things don't even
get started here until 2:00.
221
00:10:07,659 --> 00:10:09,525
Tracy, I've had
a great time,
222
00:10:09,478 --> 00:10:11,044
but I think I'm going
to head home.
223
00:10:11,010 --> 00:10:12,277
I'm glad you came out.
224
00:10:12,255 --> 00:10:14,588
I'm heading home.
Want to share a cab?
225
00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:16,587
And miss hearing
more techno remixes
226
00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:19,033
of last year's
Latin hits?
227
00:10:18,958 --> 00:10:20,291
Not a chance.
228
00:10:20,267 --> 00:10:23,068
Charlie, your lips
are blue.
229
00:10:22,982 --> 00:10:25,348
Blue with fun.
230
00:10:25,279 --> 00:10:28,379
Besides, things here don't even
get started until 2:00.
231
00:10:28,281 --> 00:10:29,947
You heard bungee.
232
00:10:29,908 --> 00:10:34,676
Fine. Knock yourself out.
233
00:10:34,505 --> 00:10:35,805
Hey, Charlie.
Hey, Paul.
234
00:10:35,782 --> 00:10:37,282
Where have you been?
235
00:10:37,251 --> 00:10:38,950
I stood on the wrong line
for six hours.
236
00:10:38,911 --> 00:10:40,343
Long story short,
237
00:10:40,315 --> 00:10:43,682
who's up for "lord of the dance"
next Tuesday?
238
00:10:43,571 --> 00:10:46,304
Hey, since we're going
to be here for a while,
239
00:10:46,221 --> 00:10:48,154
why don't we
spark it up?
240
00:10:48,104 --> 00:10:50,271
Give me that.
241
00:10:50,211 --> 00:10:53,278
Relax. Charlie,
it's just a joint.
242
00:10:53,181 --> 00:10:55,648
Yeah, well, it happens
to be a controlled substance.
243
00:10:55,606 --> 00:10:56,907
Hey, guys, news flash...
244
00:10:56,883 --> 00:10:58,649
I'm the deputy mayor.
245
00:10:58,607 --> 00:11:01,440
I can't be seen
with this stuff.
246
00:11:01,352 --> 00:11:03,319
MaN: You there
with the sideburns...
247
00:11:03,267 --> 00:11:06,267
Put your hands in the air.
248
00:11:06,173 --> 00:11:09,007
Just the old guy.
249
00:11:20,826 --> 00:11:23,226
All right,
what's going on here?
250
00:11:23,157 --> 00:11:25,157
Hi. Charlie Crawford,
deputy mayor.
251
00:11:25,104 --> 00:11:27,104
I go to various nightclubs
around town
252
00:11:27,052 --> 00:11:28,885
teaching kids
that drugs are bad.
253
00:11:28,839 --> 00:11:30,205
Is that right?
254
00:11:30,178 --> 00:11:32,145
Yeah. Let me just
wrap up this seminar.
255
00:11:32,094 --> 00:11:33,728
Kids...
256
00:11:33,691 --> 00:11:36,657
Drugs are bad.
257
00:11:36,564 --> 00:11:40,830
Thanks, mister.
We've learned our lesson.
258
00:11:40,681 --> 00:11:43,115
Hey, you wouldn't mind if I took a
look in his backpack, would you?
259
00:11:43,044 --> 00:11:46,311
Sure. We got
nothing to hide.
260
00:11:52,461 --> 00:11:54,929
Okay, part two
of our seminar...
261
00:11:54,856 --> 00:11:58,856
introduction to the inside
of a squad car.
262
00:12:05,517 --> 00:12:08,352
The first lady says, "you've
seen one, you've seen them all."
263
00:12:08,264 --> 00:12:10,930
The second lady says, "yeah, but
this one's eating my popcorn."
264
00:12:10,850 --> 00:12:13,716
[LAUGHING]
265
00:12:13,627 --> 00:12:14,927
Hey.
266
00:12:14,904 --> 00:12:17,337
If you were
a "sex and the city" character,
267
00:12:17,265 --> 00:12:20,365
which one would you be?
I'm definitely Miranda.
268
00:12:20,267 --> 00:12:23,033
I'm Charlotte.
I'm so Carrie.
269
00:12:22,948 --> 00:12:25,548
As Carter was talking,
I had to wonder...
270
00:12:25,471 --> 00:12:28,270
could these three guys
be any gayer?
271
00:12:29,333 --> 00:12:30,300
Heh heh.
272
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:32,258
Hey, siegfried,
273
00:12:32,206 --> 00:12:33,639
I hate to tear you
away from Roy,
274
00:12:33,610 --> 00:12:35,077
but you want to skip over
to the bar
275
00:12:35,048 --> 00:12:37,547
and pick up something fruity,
or maybe a drink?
276
00:12:37,473 --> 00:12:39,740
I love this guy.
277
00:12:42,230 --> 00:12:44,764
Carter.
278
00:12:44,688 --> 00:12:45,655
Uh...
279
00:12:45,646 --> 00:12:46,745
I was, uh,
280
00:12:46,731 --> 00:12:48,398
waiting for the two of us
to be alone.
281
00:12:48,359 --> 00:12:49,926
I had a feeling.
282
00:12:49,891 --> 00:12:51,858
There's something
that I want to ask you.
283
00:12:51,807 --> 00:12:53,740
There's, uh, something
I want to ask you, too,
284
00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:54,690
but you first.
285
00:12:54,680 --> 00:12:55,880
Okay.
286
00:12:55,862 --> 00:12:58,261
Um, is Stuart
seeing anyone?
287
00:12:58,191 --> 00:13:00,425
I would love to. What?
288
00:13:00,362 --> 00:13:02,930
Oh, I'm sorry.
Are the two of you an item?
289
00:13:02,853 --> 00:13:03,853
No.
290
00:13:03,842 --> 00:13:05,342
It's just...
291
00:13:05,310 --> 00:13:07,744
His honesty
is so refreshing.
292
00:13:07,673 --> 00:13:10,440
He's delightfully vulgar.
293
00:13:10,354 --> 00:13:12,488
He's unlike any gay man
I've ever met.
294
00:13:12,430 --> 00:13:14,629
That's truer
than you know.
295
00:13:14,567 --> 00:13:16,968
Would you let him know
I'm interested,
296
00:13:16,898 --> 00:13:18,364
be my wingman?
297
00:13:18,335 --> 00:13:21,668
Yeah. Why not?
298
00:13:21,559 --> 00:13:23,692
So, what's your
favorite musical?
299
00:13:23,635 --> 00:13:25,368
I hate musicals.
300
00:13:25,326 --> 00:13:27,426
Good one, stuey.
301
00:13:27,370 --> 00:13:29,570
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
302
00:13:29,508 --> 00:13:32,174
Hey, who's the wingman
of the year?
303
00:13:32,094 --> 00:13:33,693
You idiot.
304
00:13:33,658 --> 00:13:34,858
Martin wants you.
305
00:13:34,839 --> 00:13:37,040
He finds your vulgarity
refreshing.
306
00:13:36,978 --> 00:13:39,577
Finally,
someone gets me.
307
00:13:39,500 --> 00:13:41,167
This is serious.
308
00:13:41,129 --> 00:13:42,595
He asked me to come over here
and set you up with him.
309
00:13:42,565 --> 00:13:44,465
Ha ha ha.
310
00:13:44,416 --> 00:13:45,416
What's so funny?
311
00:13:45,406 --> 00:13:47,806
* he likes me better
than you *
312
00:13:47,736 --> 00:13:50,603
what's the big deal?
313
00:13:50,513 --> 00:13:52,280
I'll just tell him
I'm not gay.
314
00:13:52,237 --> 00:13:54,870
You can't tell him you're straight.
That would only humiliate him.
315
00:13:54,790 --> 00:13:56,224
Hey, what's going on?
316
00:13:56,196 --> 00:13:57,695
Martin has the hots
for Stuart.
317
00:13:57,664 --> 00:14:00,865
Hey, congratulations,
buddy.
318
00:14:00,761 --> 00:14:02,195
Look, I'll just leave.
319
00:14:02,166 --> 00:14:03,332
Whoa, no, no, no.
320
00:14:03,314 --> 00:14:05,348
You can't leave.
That would be rude.
321
00:14:05,294 --> 00:14:06,995
Martin Davis is
a very important man.
322
00:14:06,954 --> 00:14:08,787
I can't risk
offending him.
323
00:14:08,742 --> 00:14:09,975
Sir, what are you saying?
324
00:14:09,956 --> 00:14:11,789
Well, I'm saying
you led him on,
325
00:14:11,743 --> 00:14:14,410
he fell for you,
find a way to make it work.
326
00:14:16,850 --> 00:14:20,651
Maybe we're overreacting.
Maybe he's not that into me.
327
00:14:20,521 --> 00:14:23,222
Stuart, I just requested
a slow song.
328
00:14:23,139 --> 00:14:26,405
Would you care to join me
out on the dance floor?
329
00:14:41,367 --> 00:14:43,401
Okay, guys, wake up.
330
00:14:43,347 --> 00:14:44,481
I talked to the police.
331
00:14:44,463 --> 00:14:46,596
They're going to let you
all off the hook
332
00:14:46,539 --> 00:14:49,372
'cause this is a first-time offense,
but it's going to be on your record.
333
00:14:49,283 --> 00:14:53,283
And you... your father and I
are very disappointed,
334
00:14:53,147 --> 00:14:55,380
so take a good look
at your friends,
335
00:14:55,318 --> 00:14:57,351
because you are grounded,
mister.
336
00:14:57,296 --> 00:14:59,196
I don't need this
right now.
337
00:14:59,149 --> 00:15:00,783
Look, if it makes you
feel any better,
338
00:15:00,744 --> 00:15:02,278
I couldn't handle
last night, either,
339
00:15:02,245 --> 00:15:03,512
especially
all those shots.
340
00:15:03,491 --> 00:15:05,623
Those were brutal
going down.
341
00:15:05,564 --> 00:15:07,664
I was throwing them
over my shoulder.
342
00:15:07,608 --> 00:15:10,108
Me too.
343
00:15:10,035 --> 00:15:11,101
Are you finally ready
to start acting
344
00:15:11,088 --> 00:15:13,021
like a normal guy
your age?
345
00:15:12,971 --> 00:15:16,337
No, because
I'm not a normal guy.
346
00:15:16,227 --> 00:15:17,561
I'm the wild guy,
347
00:15:17,536 --> 00:15:19,703
the fun guy,
the guy who's up for anything.
348
00:15:19,643 --> 00:15:22,743
I'm not accepting this.
349
00:15:22,645 --> 00:15:24,077
I am the same guy
I've always been,
350
00:15:24,049 --> 00:15:25,782
and that's never
going to change.
351
00:15:25,740 --> 00:15:27,608
Charlie,
it has changed.
352
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,727
You have to accept that
you're not a kid anymore.
353
00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:30,901
I don't believe that.
354
00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:33,413
Hey, Charlie,
it's only 5:00.
355
00:15:33,337 --> 00:15:37,005
We could still make it to Jack's
for a rock-'n'-roll breakfast.
356
00:15:36,882 --> 00:15:39,181
At Jack's, breakfast doesn't
even start till...
357
00:15:39,116 --> 00:15:40,950
stop saying that.
358
00:15:40,904 --> 00:15:42,571
I'll tell you
what's started.
359
00:15:42,532 --> 00:15:45,232
Tuesday,
five hours ago.
360
00:15:45,150 --> 00:15:47,083
What is wrong with you?
361
00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:49,133
I thought you liked
to party.
362
00:15:49,076 --> 00:15:51,709
Yes, Tracy,
I liked to party.
363
00:15:51,629 --> 00:15:53,330
In fact,
I partied for so long
364
00:15:53,291 --> 00:15:55,790
that now,
I like to sleep.
365
00:15:57,376 --> 00:16:00,044
The thing is,
I've done all this.
366
00:15:59,962 --> 00:16:02,029
I've bar hopped,
I've crowd surfed,
367
00:16:01,973 --> 00:16:04,773
I've partied
all night long.
368
00:16:04,687 --> 00:16:07,320
And you want to know what a real
rock-'n'-roll breakfast is?
369
00:16:07,241 --> 00:16:10,241
A shot and an egg
with Keith Richards.
370
00:16:10,145 --> 00:16:12,112
Who's Keith Richards?
371
00:16:12,061 --> 00:16:14,228
Oh, God.
372
00:16:14,168 --> 00:16:16,168
You're right.
373
00:16:16,116 --> 00:16:19,216
I'm 1,000 years old.
374
00:16:27,576 --> 00:16:28,610
I can't believe it.
375
00:16:28,597 --> 00:16:29,863
Oh, me either.
376
00:16:29,841 --> 00:16:32,742
They're like a regular
Fred Astaire and...
377
00:16:32,652 --> 00:16:34,518
Fred Astaire.
378
00:16:34,472 --> 00:16:36,205
The problem is,
sooner or later,
379
00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:37,430
Martin's going
to figure out
380
00:16:37,408 --> 00:16:38,774
that Stuart's not gay.
381
00:16:38,749 --> 00:16:41,316
Not necessarily.
He can string him along
382
00:16:41,239 --> 00:16:43,472
for a couple of years
without sex.
383
00:16:43,409 --> 00:16:44,810
Worked for my ex-wife.
384
00:16:44,782 --> 00:16:46,849
I know what to do.
385
00:16:46,794 --> 00:16:47,861
I'll go over there
and ask to cut in,
386
00:16:47,847 --> 00:16:49,680
and when I'm dancing
with Martin,
387
00:16:49,635 --> 00:16:50,902
I'll turn on
the old Heywood charm
388
00:16:50,879 --> 00:16:52,346
and steal that man
away from Stuart.
389
00:16:55,795 --> 00:16:59,563
Ah, the best damn party
I've been to in months.
390
00:17:01,063 --> 00:17:03,230
Excuse me.
May I cut in?
391
00:17:04,256 --> 00:17:09,488
Okay.
392
00:17:09,299 --> 00:17:11,098
What the hell
are you doing?
393
00:17:11,055 --> 00:17:13,155
I don't know. I thought
you came to save me.
394
00:17:13,098 --> 00:17:15,632
I did,
by dancing with Martin.
395
00:17:15,556 --> 00:17:18,590
It's not my fault if I get
Martin's engine running.
396
00:17:18,493 --> 00:17:20,493
Oh, please.
397
00:17:20,441 --> 00:17:22,140
You might be good
for a one-night stand,
398
00:17:22,101 --> 00:17:24,301
but you could never hold on
to a man like that.
399
00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:26,307
Carter, calm down.
400
00:17:26,251 --> 00:17:28,684
Why are you getting so crazy
about one guy?
401
00:17:28,612 --> 00:17:31,279
'Cause I haven't
met anybody in a long time,
402
00:17:31,198 --> 00:17:33,599
and when I finally do,
you screw it up.
403
00:17:33,529 --> 00:17:34,929
I'm sorry.
404
00:17:34,903 --> 00:17:36,968
But you got
nothing to worry about.
405
00:17:36,913 --> 00:17:38,280
You're a catch.
406
00:17:38,253 --> 00:17:39,986
Oh, you're just
saying that.
407
00:17:39,946 --> 00:17:41,712
Oh, hey, look at me.
408
00:17:41,669 --> 00:17:43,936
I could get any guy here...
409
00:17:43,872 --> 00:17:46,305
And I'm dancing with you.
410
00:17:54,598 --> 00:17:57,598
I'm sorry things didn't
work out for you and Tracy.
411
00:17:57,503 --> 00:17:58,603
That's okay.
412
00:17:58,589 --> 00:18:00,856
It wasn't going
to last, anyway.
413
00:18:00,791 --> 00:18:03,891
She just got cast
on "the real world Chicago."
414
00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:05,892
It's probably
for the best.
415
00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:07,069
I guess.
416
00:18:07,049 --> 00:18:09,682
Whenever we went out,
Tracy would have a blast,
417
00:18:09,602 --> 00:18:12,569
and I just wanted to go home
and watch "sportscenter."
418
00:18:12,475 --> 00:18:13,742
That's never happened
419
00:18:13,721 --> 00:18:16,587
in my 20 years
of dating 23-year-olds.
420
00:18:16,497 --> 00:18:18,065
You know, Charlie,
421
00:18:18,029 --> 00:18:20,329
just 'cause you don't want
to stay out till dawn
422
00:18:20,265 --> 00:18:22,432
doesn't mean you don't know
how to have fun.
423
00:18:22,372 --> 00:18:23,739
You're right.
424
00:18:23,712 --> 00:18:25,512
I shouldn't be
so hard on myself.
425
00:18:25,468 --> 00:18:29,001
I'm basically the same hip,
cool guy I've always been.
426
00:18:28,884 --> 00:18:31,451
MAN: G-46.
427
00:18:31,374 --> 00:18:34,440
Bingo.
428
00:19:23,456 --> 00:19:25,123
[MAN] Sit, ubu, sit.Good dog.
429
00:19:25,124 --> 00:19:26,924
[BARKING]
430
00:19:26,925 --> 00:19:29,392
Moo.
431
00:19:29,442 --> 00:19:33,992
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
30442
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
