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1
00:00:00,670 --> 00:00:03,203
Stuart just faxed me
from Antigua...
2
00:00:03,125 --> 00:00:05,292
"can't make it back to work
as scheduled.
3
00:00:05,229 --> 00:00:06,963
"A huge storm flooded
the island.
4
00:00:06,919 --> 00:00:09,252
Michelle and I are
stuck here another week."
5
00:00:09,182 --> 00:00:10,316
I hope they're okay.
6
00:00:10,298 --> 00:00:11,432
"If no one buys that,
7
00:00:11,414 --> 00:00:12,614
say there was a coup,
8
00:00:12,595 --> 00:00:14,661
and the rebels
control the airport.
9
00:00:14,603 --> 00:00:20,036
Please, Paul,
don't screw this up."
10
00:00:19,832 --> 00:00:24,698
Apparently,
there was a coup.
11
00:00:24,518 --> 00:00:25,985
Sorry I'm late.
12
00:00:25,953 --> 00:00:30,187
[CLEARS THROAT]
This morning rags passed away.
13
00:00:30,035 --> 00:00:31,468
Carter, I'm so sorry.
14
00:00:31,437 --> 00:00:33,671
I know how much that dog
meant to you.
15
00:00:33,605 --> 00:00:36,572
The doctor did tell me he
only had 6 months to live.
16
00:00:36,475 --> 00:00:39,475
Wasn't that in 1974?
17
00:00:39,377 --> 00:00:43,477
He was a fighter.
[CLEARS THROAT]
18
00:00:43,330 --> 00:00:45,330
Ah, this is, uh,
this is for you.
19
00:00:45,275 --> 00:00:47,974
It's his... Favorite chew toy.
20
00:00:47,889 --> 00:00:51,288
He would've wanted you
to have it.
21
00:00:51,172 --> 00:00:56,473
So I'm holding a plastic burger
covered in dead-dog spit?
22
00:00:56,274 --> 00:00:58,907
We called it "squeaky."
23
00:00:58,824 --> 00:01:01,958
[SQUEAKING]
24
00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:04,320
How did it happen?
25
00:01:04,246 --> 00:01:08,779
Rags was mounting his
little giggling gizmo doll
26
00:01:08,613 --> 00:01:11,546
the same way he'd done
a thousand times before,
27
00:01:11,451 --> 00:01:15,051
and his little heart
just quit.
28
00:01:14,927 --> 00:01:17,893
Excuse me.
29
00:01:17,796 --> 00:01:22,729
Older dog...
Younger plush toy...
30
00:01:22,546 --> 00:01:25,079
never works.
31
00:01:48,372 --> 00:01:49,571
Oh, sir.
Mm-hmm.
32
00:01:49,551 --> 00:01:51,318
I just got a call
from newsday.
33
00:01:51,274 --> 00:01:53,506
They got a copy
of your tax records.
34
00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:56,874
And it appears you didn't make
a charitable donation last year.
35
00:01:56,757 --> 00:01:59,823
I instructed my accountant to give
generously to several causes.
36
00:01:59,723 --> 00:02:01,923
Let me get Arthur
on the phone.
37
00:02:01,858 --> 00:02:04,191
[DIALING]
38
00:02:04,122 --> 00:02:06,089
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
39
00:02:06,035 --> 00:02:07,636
[BEEP BEEP BEEP]
40
00:02:07,597 --> 00:02:10,497
WOMAN: The number you havedialed is no longer in service.
41
00:02:10,404 --> 00:02:13,870
If you have any information as to
the whereabouts of Arthur pollack,
42
00:02:13,751 --> 00:02:17,352
please contactthe federal authorities.
43
00:02:17,226 --> 00:02:21,226
So obviously...
He's not the problem.
44
00:02:21,083 --> 00:02:23,617
Uh, how do we
fix this, Charlie?
45
00:02:23,539 --> 00:02:26,372
I know. We'll set up a
Randall Winston foundation.
46
00:02:26,281 --> 00:02:28,615
Then we'll make a sizeable
donation to a charity.
47
00:02:28,545 --> 00:02:31,178
The important thing is money
goes to people who need it.
48
00:02:31,096 --> 00:02:33,196
It's not about publicity
or who gets credit.
49
00:02:33,136 --> 00:02:35,902
I'll leak that to the press.
Start with the times.
50
00:02:35,814 --> 00:02:38,480
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
51
00:02:38,396 --> 00:02:40,164
Hello?
52
00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:43,418
Look, dad, I told you...
stop calling me.
53
00:02:43,306 --> 00:02:46,106
I don't care if it is
my birthday.
54
00:02:46,016 --> 00:02:47,784
I don't wanna see you.
55
00:02:47,739 --> 00:02:49,105
Gotta go, dad.
Bye.
56
00:02:49,077 --> 00:02:52,411
Oh, is your dad coming in
for your birthday tomorrow?
57
00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:54,297
No. No. He can't
get away from work.
58
00:02:54,243 --> 00:02:57,109
Aw, that's too bad. I would've
liked to have finally met him.
59
00:02:57,017 --> 00:02:58,017
Some other time.
60
00:02:58,005 --> 00:02:59,671
But, if it's any consolation,
61
00:02:59,631 --> 00:03:00,831
no matter what it takes,
62
00:03:00,810 --> 00:03:03,144
I am going to top the gift
I got you last year.
63
00:03:03,074 --> 00:03:06,273
Oh, you got me that awesome
vintage Yankees Jersey.
64
00:03:06,167 --> 00:03:07,901
No, the mayor got you that.
65
00:03:07,857 --> 00:03:11,290
Oh, you got me that sweet
rolling stones box set.
66
00:03:11,172 --> 00:03:14,072
Stuart and Carter.
67
00:03:13,978 --> 00:03:16,578
Well, whatever it was,
it had to be better than
68
00:03:16,498 --> 00:03:19,164
that lame thing Paul
gave me that sorts change.
69
00:03:20,324 --> 00:03:22,489
You got me that.
70
00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:31,346
So your charity...
"harmony, not handouts"...
71
00:03:31,227 --> 00:03:35,361
provides musical instruments
to homeless people?
72
00:03:35,213 --> 00:03:38,046
Wouldn't homeless be better
served with food or shelter?
73
00:03:37,954 --> 00:03:40,321
Been done.
74
00:03:40,251 --> 00:03:44,617
Thank you, miss Watkins. We'll keep
your organization on a short list.
75
00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:47,592
[ACCORDION PLAYS FLAT NOTE]
76
00:03:47,487 --> 00:03:49,854
Some of these charities
are really out there.
77
00:03:49,783 --> 00:03:52,216
If I had time, I'd have
people sift through these.
78
00:03:52,143 --> 00:03:55,176
We wouldn't have to go
through this dog and pony show.
79
00:03:55,075 --> 00:03:58,609
Sir, try not to mention anything
having to do with dogs.
80
00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:02,221
I think it reminds Carter
that rags is dead.
81
00:04:03,366 --> 00:04:04,598
Paul, do you mind?
82
00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:07,810
Really, Paul,
put a muzzle on it.
83
00:04:07,702 --> 00:04:11,069
Oh, I did it again.
Doggone it. I'm sorry.
84
00:04:10,954 --> 00:04:12,921
Sir, sir...
Would you stop hounding me?!
85
00:04:12,867 --> 00:04:14,200
Excuse me.
86
00:04:14,174 --> 00:04:16,040
No, no, no,
Carter, sit. Sit.
87
00:04:15,991 --> 00:04:18,358
Stay. Stay.
88
00:04:19,849 --> 00:04:21,550
Rough.
89
00:04:25,333 --> 00:04:27,933
All right, we're here.
What's your big surprise?
90
00:04:27,852 --> 00:04:30,786
I didn't know what to get you,
and I know it's unconventional,
91
00:04:30,690 --> 00:04:33,223
but, um, look over there.
92
00:04:33,144 --> 00:04:35,978
Wow!
93
00:04:35,887 --> 00:04:38,787
You have officially topped
the change-sorter.
94
00:04:38,693 --> 00:04:40,726
Not her!
95
00:04:43,612 --> 00:04:46,245
Dad.
Hey, Charlie. Good to see you.
96
00:04:46,162 --> 00:04:49,329
Surprise! I had him come up
for your birthday.
97
00:04:49,223 --> 00:04:51,022
I can't believe
you came here.
98
00:04:50,977 --> 00:04:53,110
You're the last person
in the world I wanna see.
99
00:04:53,049 --> 00:04:54,316
Over here.
100
00:04:54,293 --> 00:04:57,193
Say "cheese."
101
00:04:57,098 --> 00:04:59,399
Take it easy, kid.
I'll get us some drinks.
102
00:04:59,331 --> 00:05:00,664
Excuse me.
103
00:05:00,637 --> 00:05:01,804
What did you do?
104
00:05:01,785 --> 00:05:04,085
I got his number off
caller I.D. And invited him.
105
00:05:04,018 --> 00:05:05,584
He's really excited
to see you.
106
00:05:05,547 --> 00:05:07,748
He's not. He shows up
when he wants something.
107
00:05:07,684 --> 00:05:08,884
The guy's a con man.
108
00:05:08,864 --> 00:05:10,897
Well, you haven't seen him
in a long time.
109
00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:11,874
Maybe he's changed.
110
00:05:11,860 --> 00:05:13,561
I bet you paid
for his train ticket.
111
00:05:13,518 --> 00:05:15,285
I had to.
He left his wallet
112
00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:17,640
at the old-age home
where he volunteers.
113
00:05:17,568 --> 00:05:20,534
Was the old-age home
called Churchill downs?
114
00:05:20,438 --> 00:05:22,870
No. It was belmont park.
115
00:05:22,796 --> 00:05:24,863
Come on,
let's be sociable.
116
00:05:24,805 --> 00:05:27,738
I got us a table
and a round of drinks...
117
00:05:27,643 --> 00:05:30,309
vodka rocks for me,
beer for Charlie,
118
00:05:30,225 --> 00:05:32,225
and an appletini
for the lady.
119
00:05:32,170 --> 00:05:33,703
Why an appletini?
120
00:05:33,669 --> 00:05:36,068
I try to match the drink
to the person.
121
00:05:35,996 --> 00:05:38,329
An appletini is smooth,
sophisticated,
122
00:05:38,260 --> 00:05:41,627
and it's as strong as it is sweet.
Thank you, ray.
123
00:05:41,511 --> 00:05:45,878
Why'd you get me a beer? 'Cause
you're foaming at the mouth. Relax.
124
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:49,687
All right, dad, let's get to it.
What are you really here for?
125
00:05:49,546 --> 00:05:51,747
I wanted to be with my kid
on his birthday.
126
00:05:51,683 --> 00:05:53,116
When did that become a sin?
127
00:05:53,085 --> 00:05:55,052
Tell me how much money
you need,
128
00:05:54,998 --> 00:05:58,699
and we can end this pathetic,
little charade.
129
00:05:58,570 --> 00:06:02,070
Mmmm. This is
a good appletini.
130
00:06:01,949 --> 00:06:03,615
Don't be so dramatic.
131
00:06:03,575 --> 00:06:06,476
I know you've always resented me
because I wasn't around,
132
00:06:06,412 --> 00:06:08,880
and I gambled away
your college fund.
133
00:06:08,804 --> 00:06:11,204
I had a college fund?
134
00:06:11,132 --> 00:06:13,431
S-should I buy us
another round?
135
00:06:13,363 --> 00:06:15,730
I'm out of here.
136
00:06:15,659 --> 00:06:18,826
Let's just call this a bad idea
and forget that it happened.
137
00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:21,687
Come on, Charlie.
I just got here. Charlie!
138
00:06:24,428 --> 00:06:26,794
Charlie always assumes
the worst about me.
139
00:06:26,722 --> 00:06:29,455
What he doesn't realize is
people can change.
140
00:06:29,368 --> 00:06:31,769
Oh, please.
This is on me.
141
00:06:31,696 --> 00:06:33,596
Thank you.
Bye-bye.
142
00:06:39,539 --> 00:06:43,939
Uh, excuse me. Mike Gomez...
food critic, Manhattan dining.
143
00:06:43,779 --> 00:06:46,213
Wow! I'll have to comp
the meal.
144
00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:48,473
Oh, that's not
really necessary.
145
00:06:48,403 --> 00:06:50,170
But, what the hell?
Rules are rules.
146
00:06:51,145 --> 00:06:53,011
Now, uh...
147
00:06:57,299 --> 00:06:59,766
Charlie, I am so sorry
about last night.
148
00:06:59,690 --> 00:07:01,690
I never should've
interfered.
149
00:07:01,634 --> 00:07:03,301
I shouldn't expect you
to understand
150
00:07:03,260 --> 00:07:05,893
having a screwed-up
relationship with your father.
151
00:07:05,810 --> 00:07:09,411
Oh, are you kidding?
My dad was so... Overbearing...
152
00:07:09,286 --> 00:07:13,120
always helping me with my
homework, taking me to Europe,
153
00:07:12,985 --> 00:07:15,952
showing up to my field hockey
games with signs that said,
154
00:07:15,855 --> 00:07:18,888
"go, Caitlin.
We love you, Caitlin."
155
00:07:18,788 --> 00:07:21,487
I'm sorry.
I-I was happy.
156
00:07:21,402 --> 00:07:24,435
Look, I may not know your
history with your father,
157
00:07:24,336 --> 00:07:26,703
but... He seems like
a pretty good guy.
158
00:07:26,632 --> 00:07:29,465
I mean, he came all this way
for your birthday.
159
00:07:29,373 --> 00:07:32,173
Let me tell you how much my dad
cares about my birthday.
160
00:07:32,084 --> 00:07:34,950
When I turned 9, he promised
to give me a gumball machine.
161
00:07:34,857 --> 00:07:37,023
I was so excited
I couldn't sleep for weeks.
162
00:07:36,962 --> 00:07:38,195
I told all my friends.
163
00:07:38,174 --> 00:07:41,907
I woke up that morning.
I ran downstairs.
164
00:07:41,776 --> 00:07:44,276
There was
no gumball machine...
165
00:07:44,199 --> 00:07:47,599
Just a note saying
that he'd moved out.
166
00:07:49,172 --> 00:07:50,406
Have you guys seen Carter?
167
00:07:50,384 --> 00:07:51,584
No. Why?
168
00:07:51,565 --> 00:07:54,164
Well, I realized that
in his time of crisis,
169
00:07:54,083 --> 00:07:55,316
he needs a go-to guy.
170
00:07:55,295 --> 00:07:57,560
And with his best friend
out of town,
171
00:07:57,494 --> 00:08:00,494
I decided to step up
and be his new Stuart...
172
00:08:00,395 --> 00:08:01,829
Minus the bad haircut...
173
00:08:01,798 --> 00:08:03,231
And the rudeness.
174
00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:05,601
And subscriptions
to porno magazines?
175
00:08:05,529 --> 00:08:08,896
Yeah, that too.
176
00:08:08,782 --> 00:08:10,014
Oh, there you are.
177
00:08:09,993 --> 00:08:12,393
Listen, Carter, I know that
you're down about rags.
178
00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:13,621
But you know what?
179
00:08:13,595 --> 00:08:15,396
He's gonna be
with you forever.
180
00:08:15,349 --> 00:08:17,982
I'll always carry him
in my heart.
181
00:08:17,900 --> 00:08:22,033
More than in your heart.
182
00:08:23,001 --> 00:08:26,001
Hah? [LAUGHS]
183
00:08:25,903 --> 00:08:29,202
I had him stuffed!
184
00:08:29,090 --> 00:08:32,023
And look, for an extra $15,
185
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:35,928
they put in cloudy marbles to
match the cataracts in his eyes.
186
00:08:37,986 --> 00:08:40,518
Paul, this is
totally offensive!
187
00:08:40,441 --> 00:08:42,941
No, it's not.
188
00:08:42,865 --> 00:08:45,165
And look what they put under
his little paws...
189
00:08:45,096 --> 00:08:46,596
wheels!
190
00:08:46,562 --> 00:08:47,929
Now...
191
00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:52,434
Carter can still
take him out for walks.
192
00:08:52,270 --> 00:08:54,804
Lookit! Lookit!
Lookit!
193
00:08:54,724 --> 00:08:57,924
Ha ha ha ha.
194
00:08:57,817 --> 00:08:59,084
Pretty great, huh?
195
00:08:59,061 --> 00:09:00,861
Are you out of your mind?!
196
00:09:00,814 --> 00:09:04,514
How could you think this
horror show is... is great?!
197
00:09:06,426 --> 00:09:07,926
Wow.
198
00:09:07,892 --> 00:09:11,359
Carter hated that.
199
00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:15,173
I thought this was a perfect way
to preserve a loved one.
200
00:09:15,034 --> 00:09:17,067
I guess I was wrong.
201
00:09:17,011 --> 00:09:19,978
I'm glad you figured that out
before his grandmother died.
202
00:09:24,281 --> 00:09:27,047
It was a great idea to have the
mayor set up this foundation.
203
00:09:26,959 --> 00:09:28,525
The press will
get off his back.
204
00:09:28,489 --> 00:09:30,256
Which did the mayor
end up picking?
205
00:09:30,210 --> 00:09:33,978
He went with an organization that
uses horses to rehabilitate inmates.
206
00:09:33,846 --> 00:09:37,612
That makes sense. 'Cause that's what
you really want to give a criminal...
207
00:09:37,481 --> 00:09:40,980
something that can run 30 Miles
an hour and jump fences.
208
00:09:40,860 --> 00:09:43,160
Ladies and gentlemen,
can I have your attention?
209
00:09:43,091 --> 00:09:46,325
I've interviewed,
oh, dozens of charities,
210
00:09:46,216 --> 00:09:49,916
but finally, a man came in
who truly inspired me.
211
00:09:49,787 --> 00:09:52,520
So it's my honor
to introduce to you...
212
00:09:52,434 --> 00:09:55,834
The recipient of a $25,000
check... Mr. ray Harris.
213
00:10:08,662 --> 00:10:12,696
In conclusion, these men
are not just ex-convicts.
214
00:10:12,552 --> 00:10:14,986
They're fathers,
husbands, sons.
215
00:10:14,911 --> 00:10:18,144
This money represents a second
chance for them and their families.
216
00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:21,035
A new road to the future...
Paved with hope.
217
00:10:20,936 --> 00:10:23,037
Thank you.
218
00:10:25,815 --> 00:10:28,748
I can't believe people
are buying this.
219
00:10:28,652 --> 00:10:32,552
[CRYING SOFTLY]
Really... What a fraud.
220
00:10:32,414 --> 00:10:35,448
I heard about your dog.
I understand how you must feel.
221
00:10:35,348 --> 00:10:36,615
But just remember...
222
00:10:36,592 --> 00:10:39,291
we only get strong when we
lift heavy burdens.
223
00:10:39,206 --> 00:10:42,272
You're a special person.
God bless you.
224
00:10:44,595 --> 00:10:46,760
I guess I'll go draft up
a press release.
225
00:10:46,699 --> 00:10:49,932
My people will draft up the press release.
Don't do any extra work.
226
00:10:49,824 --> 00:10:53,523
You're a special person.
God bless you.
227
00:10:53,394 --> 00:10:55,161
I need to talk to you.
228
00:10:55,117 --> 00:10:56,416
Not right now.
229
00:10:56,391 --> 00:10:59,258
Call me at the foundation.
We'll set up an appointment.
230
00:10:59,165 --> 00:11:02,098
Great. Why don't you give
me an address and phone number?
231
00:11:02,003 --> 00:11:04,570
You know what?
I've got just a second.
232
00:11:04,490 --> 00:11:07,123
Excuse me.
233
00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:09,040
What the hell do you think
you're doing?!
234
00:11:08,985 --> 00:11:11,185
Of all the stuff
you've pulled in your life,
235
00:11:11,122 --> 00:11:13,022
starting a fake charity
is a new low.
236
00:11:12,971 --> 00:11:15,470
Charlie, I guarantee you
every cent from that check
237
00:11:15,394 --> 00:11:17,561
will be going
to ex-convicts.
238
00:11:17,498 --> 00:11:19,431
It's not.
It's going to you!
239
00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:21,046
I got news for you.
240
00:11:21,005 --> 00:11:25,805
That 6 months I spent upstate,
I wasn't in chefs' school.
241
00:11:25,628 --> 00:11:28,028
Look, the mayor means
too much to me.
242
00:11:27,955 --> 00:11:29,489
I can't let you do this.
243
00:11:29,454 --> 00:11:31,421
Fine. Turn me in.
244
00:11:31,367 --> 00:11:33,800
You know I can't do that.
245
00:11:33,727 --> 00:11:35,060
This is crazy.
246
00:11:35,034 --> 00:11:37,700
What do I have to do
to get you to walk away?
247
00:11:37,616 --> 00:11:40,483
I'll tell you what...
we'll shoot a game of pool.
248
00:11:40,390 --> 00:11:42,757
If I win, I take the money
and leave.
249
00:11:42,686 --> 00:11:44,686
You win,
I leave right away.
250
00:11:49,094 --> 00:11:50,961
I break.
251
00:11:53,717 --> 00:11:57,018
Not bad.
You remember what I taught you.
252
00:11:56,906 --> 00:11:58,340
Of course I remember.
253
00:11:58,309 --> 00:12:00,508
You started taking me
to pool halls when I was 7.
254
00:12:00,445 --> 00:12:03,545
Sorry about that. I wanted
to wait till you were ready.
255
00:12:06,599 --> 00:12:09,799
Remember when I got you out of school,
took you to Callahan's tavern?
256
00:12:09,691 --> 00:12:11,257
How could I forget?
257
00:12:11,222 --> 00:12:13,322
I made 100 bucks, you let
me have a sip of beer,
258
00:12:13,262 --> 00:12:15,162
and I got a kiss
from that hot waitress.
259
00:12:15,112 --> 00:12:16,312
Boy, was your mom mad
260
00:12:16,291 --> 00:12:18,491
when we rolled in at 2:00
in the morning.
261
00:12:18,428 --> 00:12:20,860
Well, in her defense,
I was 8 years old,
262
00:12:20,787 --> 00:12:23,386
and we had just
hot-wired a camaro.
263
00:12:23,305 --> 00:12:25,805
Ha ha ha ha ha.
264
00:12:25,729 --> 00:12:27,762
Well, I forgot
how good you are.
265
00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:30,272
You're in the middle
of screwing me over,
266
00:12:30,192 --> 00:12:32,359
and here I am
laughing with you.
267
00:12:32,296 --> 00:12:35,563
Maybe you just can't help having
a good time with your old man.
268
00:12:37,748 --> 00:12:39,182
Damn it.
269
00:12:39,151 --> 00:12:41,318
Excuse me.
270
00:12:50,310 --> 00:12:53,177
Is it me...
271
00:12:53,084 --> 00:12:55,485
Or is the table
leaning to the left?
272
00:12:55,412 --> 00:13:00,612
Or is it leaning
to the right?
273
00:13:00,418 --> 00:13:03,051
I think the table's leaning
towards the pockets.
274
00:13:07,271 --> 00:13:08,605
Tough break.
275
00:13:08,579 --> 00:13:10,946
Well, it's like
you always said, dad...
276
00:13:10,876 --> 00:13:13,842
pool is a game of momentum.
277
00:13:14,956 --> 00:13:17,490
Mo...
278
00:13:17,411 --> 00:13:19,311
Men...
279
00:13:19,260 --> 00:13:21,360
Tum.
280
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:22,900
Excuse me.
281
00:13:22,863 --> 00:13:26,296
There you are.
What's going on?
282
00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:28,646
If I sink this shot,
the mayor gets his money back.
283
00:13:28,570 --> 00:13:31,871
Oh, my God.
It's a lot of pressure.
284
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:36,246
I'll shut up.
285
00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:41,386
You can do it, Charlie.
286
00:13:43,683 --> 00:13:45,716
[CLEARS THROAT]
I'll drop by city hall
287
00:13:45,660 --> 00:13:48,127
to pick up
my check tomorrow.
288
00:13:49,868 --> 00:13:52,035
Man, you choked.
289
00:13:56,117 --> 00:13:58,885
I know I screwed up, but this
is gonna make you feel better.
290
00:13:58,796 --> 00:13:59,863
I-I don't know, Paul.
291
00:13:59,847 --> 00:14:01,748
Don't be ridiculous.
Please, sit down.
292
00:14:01,697 --> 00:14:04,397
Rags deserves
a dignified send-off.
293
00:14:04,311 --> 00:14:06,044
Ladies and gentlemen,
294
00:14:06,001 --> 00:14:09,068
we are here today to pay
our final respects
295
00:14:08,967 --> 00:14:11,000
to a special, little dog.
296
00:14:10,944 --> 00:14:13,944
He loved to eat.
He loved to play.
297
00:14:13,845 --> 00:14:16,545
He loved his giggling gizmo,
298
00:14:16,459 --> 00:14:21,060
but in the end,
maybe a bit too much.
299
00:14:20,890 --> 00:14:25,023
And now... We pay
our final respects...
300
00:14:24,876 --> 00:14:27,109
To an old friend.
301
00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:40,285
Oh, darn it. How did the guy
in the store do this?
302
00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:41,680
I've had enough.
303
00:14:41,647 --> 00:14:44,847
[BARKING]
304
00:14:44,740 --> 00:14:46,774
That came free
with the wheels.
305
00:14:49,745 --> 00:14:52,711
Carter. Carter, I'm sorry.
I was just trying to help.
306
00:14:52,615 --> 00:14:55,182
I-I know. There's nothing
you can do, Paul.
307
00:14:55,101 --> 00:14:57,868
Losing rags was like
losing a best friend.
308
00:14:57,780 --> 00:15:01,014
So right now...
309
00:15:00,904 --> 00:15:02,871
I just need to feel sad.
310
00:15:02,817 --> 00:15:04,350
Promise me...
311
00:15:04,315 --> 00:15:07,149
No more ridiculous gestures
to make me feel better.
312
00:15:07,058 --> 00:15:08,292
I promise.
313
00:15:15,922 --> 00:15:17,955
Outside.
314
00:15:17,899 --> 00:15:19,132
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
315
00:15:19,111 --> 00:15:20,077
Are you okay?
316
00:15:20,067 --> 00:15:21,666
Ye... ha ha ha ha.
317
00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:23,895
That's the stupidest thing
I've seen in my life.
318
00:15:23,829 --> 00:15:25,195
I know. I'm sorry.
319
00:15:25,167 --> 00:15:27,100
I don't know what
I was thinking.
320
00:15:27,048 --> 00:15:29,382
What the hell are you
ever thinking?!
321
00:15:29,313 --> 00:15:31,779
I don't know.
I'm an idiot!
322
00:15:31,703 --> 00:15:34,604
You are!
But I love you for it.
323
00:15:34,510 --> 00:15:36,443
You want
a gingerbread rags?
324
00:15:36,391 --> 00:15:39,024
No, no, no.
Aaah! Ha ha ha.
325
00:15:38,942 --> 00:15:42,875
Come on! I got a collage.
326
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:45,566
Oh, hey, hey, hey, Charlie.
327
00:15:45,529 --> 00:15:47,830
I'm just writing out a check
to Ray's foundation.
328
00:15:47,762 --> 00:15:49,928
Sir, maybe you're
rushing into this.
329
00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:51,466
It's an awful lot of money.
330
00:15:51,428 --> 00:15:54,195
You kidding? I keep more cash
than that hidden in my office.
331
00:15:54,106 --> 00:15:57,339
You don't say.
332
00:15:57,231 --> 00:15:59,630
Good thing this office
has such tight security.
333
00:15:59,558 --> 00:16:01,758
Well, actually,
it's pretty weak.
334
00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:04,928
That's why I keep it
in a fake book.
335
00:16:04,819 --> 00:16:08,919
You don't actually think I'm
reading "don quixote," do you?
336
00:16:08,773 --> 00:16:10,938
Hey, you ever think
of picking that book up?
337
00:16:10,876 --> 00:16:13,343
Not till just now.
338
00:16:14,798 --> 00:16:17,931
My point is, sir, that there
are plenty of other charities.
339
00:16:17,827 --> 00:16:20,626
It sounds like you're having
a problem with Mr. Harris.
340
00:16:20,537 --> 00:16:21,871
RAY:
Yes, Mr. Crawford...
341
00:16:21,844 --> 00:16:24,011
Do you have
a problem with me?
342
00:16:23,949 --> 00:16:25,816
I just... I...
343
00:16:28,061 --> 00:16:29,795
no.
344
00:16:29,752 --> 00:16:31,919
I have no problem.
345
00:16:31,855 --> 00:16:33,922
Oh, well, we're set then.
346
00:16:33,864 --> 00:16:35,665
Now, who should
I make it out to?
347
00:16:35,618 --> 00:16:39,552
Our holding company is called
"convicts are saved by horses."
348
00:16:39,412 --> 00:16:41,911
But you can just
use the acronym.
349
00:16:41,835 --> 00:16:46,035
C-a-s-h.
350
00:16:49,423 --> 00:16:51,623
There you go.
351
00:16:53,505 --> 00:16:56,672
Oh, God, it's so frustrating.
He totally manipulated you,
352
00:16:56,565 --> 00:16:58,532
and there's nothing
you could do about it.
353
00:16:58,478 --> 00:17:00,478
If only you didn't
suck at pool.
354
00:17:02,368 --> 00:17:04,134
I found a way to fix this.
355
00:17:04,090 --> 00:17:07,823
I'm gonna make a donation in the
mayor's name to a similar charity.
356
00:17:07,692 --> 00:17:10,659
At least the money will go where
the mayor wants it to.
357
00:17:10,562 --> 00:17:13,029
If there's anything I can do
to help, let me know.
358
00:17:12,954 --> 00:17:15,820
I could use $25,000.
359
00:17:15,728 --> 00:17:17,728
How about a hug?
360
00:17:28,384 --> 00:17:30,584
What the hell are you
still doing here?
361
00:17:30,521 --> 00:17:31,988
Just wanted to say goodbye.
362
00:17:31,956 --> 00:17:33,723
Fine! Goodbye.
363
00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:35,811
This time let's
make it permanent.
364
00:17:35,750 --> 00:17:37,316
You got your money.
365
00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:39,280
Yes, I did.
366
00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:44,025
Now, there's only one thing
left for me to do.
367
00:17:43,848 --> 00:17:47,515
I'm not gonna take the money.
I was never gonna take it.
368
00:17:47,388 --> 00:17:50,854
For the first time in your life,
you're gonna do the right thing?
369
00:17:50,735 --> 00:17:52,835
And what? Now I'm supposed
to give you a hug
370
00:17:52,776 --> 00:17:54,509
and let you take me
to a ballgame?
371
00:17:54,465 --> 00:17:55,999
Well, forget it.
372
00:17:55,964 --> 00:17:57,130
It's too late for that.
373
00:17:57,111 --> 00:17:58,645
Hey, we're not done talking.
374
00:17:58,611 --> 00:18:00,043
Yes, we are!
375
00:18:00,013 --> 00:18:02,180
Every time you drift
back into my life,
376
00:18:02,117 --> 00:18:04,984
it's always about what you want,
what you can get from me.
377
00:18:04,891 --> 00:18:07,091
If it's not the check,
then what is it, dad, huh?
378
00:18:07,028 --> 00:18:08,328
What's the angle?
379
00:18:08,303 --> 00:18:12,970
The angle is I wanted to be
with my kid on his birthday.
380
00:18:12,798 --> 00:18:15,831
After you stormed out of the
bar, I had to figure out a way
381
00:18:15,732 --> 00:18:17,965
to spend some
quality time with you.
382
00:18:17,900 --> 00:18:21,399
So... You made up
a fake charity,
383
00:18:21,279 --> 00:18:24,646
conned my boss out of 25 grand,
and jeopardized my career?
384
00:18:24,532 --> 00:18:26,898
That's your idea
of quality time?
385
00:18:26,826 --> 00:18:30,993
I was gonna take you fishing,
but that seemed so cliche.
386
00:18:32,120 --> 00:18:34,553
Well, why now...
After all these years?
387
00:18:34,478 --> 00:18:35,912
I wanna get back
in your life.
388
00:18:35,882 --> 00:18:38,749
No! It's too late
for that!
389
00:18:40,217 --> 00:18:42,484
Too many nights I sat
looking out the window
390
00:18:42,418 --> 00:18:43,785
hoping you'd come home.
391
00:18:43,757 --> 00:18:46,256
Too many times I had to
cook dinner for mom
392
00:18:46,180 --> 00:18:48,513
'cause she was
so tired from work.
393
00:18:48,444 --> 00:18:50,910
I screwed up.
I know that. But I'm here now.
394
00:18:50,834 --> 00:18:53,368
I don't need you now!
I needed you then!
395
00:18:53,291 --> 00:18:58,523
Where were you when I was learning
to ride a bike or shoot a basket?
396
00:18:58,327 --> 00:19:02,995
Do you realize that mom
had to teach me how to shave?
397
00:19:02,823 --> 00:19:08,156
I was the only guy that showed up
to baseball camp with a lady bic.
398
00:19:07,956 --> 00:19:10,690
Well, I'm just saying
I'm not that guy anymore.
399
00:19:10,603 --> 00:19:14,269
So... If you ever decide
to give me a second chance,
400
00:19:14,142 --> 00:19:16,508
here's my number.
401
00:19:16,437 --> 00:19:19,604
"Ray Larson...
licensed chiropractor"?
402
00:19:19,498 --> 00:19:21,065
It's on the other side.
403
00:19:21,029 --> 00:19:23,928
By the way,
we're closed wednesdays.
404
00:19:29,541 --> 00:19:32,408
Look, I'd like to say that
I tried to be a great father,
405
00:19:32,315 --> 00:19:37,681
and I did the best I could, but
we both know that's not true.
406
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:40,513
What is true is that
I'm proud of you.
407
00:19:40,413 --> 00:19:42,881
You're my boy.
408
00:19:42,805 --> 00:19:44,838
And I love you.
409
00:19:44,782 --> 00:19:47,782
Happy Birthday, son.
410
00:20:41,701 --> 00:20:44,133
Sit, ubu, sit. Good dog.
[BARKING]
411
00:20:44,134 --> 00:20:46,367
Moo.
412
00:20:46,417 --> 00:20:50,967
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