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1
00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:03,433
The mayor is announcing his bid
for re-election today,
2
00:00:03,342 --> 00:00:06,041
so I wouldn't be surprised if
Wheeler tried to upstage him.
3
00:00:05,960 --> 00:00:09,660
Charlie...
glad you could make it.
4
00:00:09,536 --> 00:00:11,868
We've already covered the
mayor's transportation proposal,
5
00:00:11,803 --> 00:00:13,669
as well as his appearance
6
00:00:13,622 --> 00:00:15,488
at yesterday's skeet-shooting
competition...
7
00:00:15,441 --> 00:00:18,942
And the subsequent apology
to news chopper 7.
8
00:00:18,826 --> 00:00:21,093
If you have any other
questions, ask Carter.
9
00:00:21,030 --> 00:00:22,529
Okay.
10
00:00:22,499 --> 00:00:25,432
Do I still work here?
11
00:00:25,340 --> 00:00:26,507
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
12
00:00:26,489 --> 00:00:28,790
Yello?
13
00:00:28,724 --> 00:00:29,991
Hey, governor.
14
00:00:29,969 --> 00:00:31,936
Nah, it's me.
It's Flaherty.
15
00:00:31,885 --> 00:00:33,386
Oh, Crawford?
16
00:00:33,354 --> 00:00:37,620
Well, yeah, he didn't work out,
so we had to let him go.
17
00:00:37,472 --> 00:00:40,073
I'm just kidding you,
big guy.
18
00:00:39,995 --> 00:00:42,428
Good one.
19
00:00:42,358 --> 00:00:45,257
Okay, what the hell
is going on here?
20
00:00:45,167 --> 00:00:48,100
All I know is he cancels his
engagement, now he's here.
21
00:00:48,008 --> 00:00:51,042
We'll take your limo, but I'm
bringing the beers.
22
00:00:50,946 --> 00:00:55,413
All right, sir. I'm gonna go
grab another cup of coffee.
23
00:00:55,257 --> 00:00:56,424
Hey, grab me a cup...
24
00:00:56,406 --> 00:00:58,039
remember, I like it
the way I like my women.
25
00:00:58,002 --> 00:01:01,002
I don't think we have
any 19-year-old coffee.
26
00:01:28,397 --> 00:01:31,698
I'm sorry, but I'm not wearing
this thing.
27
00:01:32,708 --> 00:01:34,207
Sir, every mayor
for the last 30 years
28
00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:36,177
has dressed like a woman
for the "Broadway cares" gala.
29
00:01:36,124 --> 00:01:38,358
I promise it will not damage
your public image.
30
00:01:38,295 --> 00:01:40,529
I don't care about that.
It makes my ass look fat.
31
00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:42,933
Actually, sir,
it might show the voters
32
00:01:42,861 --> 00:01:45,228
you have a sense of humor
about yourself.
33
00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:46,559
Plus, with your long legs,
34
00:01:46,533 --> 00:01:47,733
no one's gonna be looking
at your ass.
35
00:01:47,714 --> 00:01:49,714
Speak for yourself.
36
00:01:50,972 --> 00:01:52,304
You've made an excuse
to get out of this every year,
37
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,179
but this is an election year.
38
00:01:54,131 --> 00:01:55,731
I think you should do it.
39
00:01:55,697 --> 00:01:59,530
Maybe a string of pearls will
tie all this together.
40
00:02:01,188 --> 00:02:02,522
Okay, we've got to talk
41
00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:04,564
about what's going on between
Mike and Allison.
42
00:02:04,508 --> 00:02:06,009
It's clear what's happening.
43
00:02:05,977 --> 00:02:07,411
He's a textbook workaholic
44
00:02:07,381 --> 00:02:10,048
who can't make room in his life
for a real relationship.
45
00:02:09,968 --> 00:02:11,768
Look, we've wasted enough
time here.
46
00:02:11,724 --> 00:02:14,058
I stayed late last night
preparing the mayor's plan
47
00:02:13,991 --> 00:02:16,324
for his re-election
announcement...
48
00:02:18,142 --> 00:02:20,442
Who erased my plan?
49
00:02:20,376 --> 00:02:23,276
I had to make up a new lineup
for tomorrow's softball game.
50
00:02:23,187 --> 00:02:25,719
This took me three hours...
51
00:02:25,644 --> 00:02:27,911
you got me on the bench?
52
00:02:29,443 --> 00:02:30,744
I'm the starting shortstop.
53
00:02:30,721 --> 00:02:33,521
I've never seen you hit.
54
00:02:33,434 --> 00:02:34,735
Okay.
55
00:02:34,712 --> 00:02:37,512
I don't mean to pry, but why
aren't you getting married?
56
00:02:37,426 --> 00:02:39,293
You wouldn't understand.
57
00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:40,746
You called off your engagement
58
00:02:40,715 --> 00:02:42,681
because you're a textbook
workaholic
59
00:02:42,631 --> 00:02:44,997
who can't find a place in his
life for a relationship.
60
00:02:44,929 --> 00:02:47,296
Not even close.
61
00:02:47,228 --> 00:02:53,094
Really, Charlie, please spare us
the dime-store psychology.
62
00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:55,046
Well, if it's not because of
work, why'd you call it off?
63
00:02:54,987 --> 00:02:56,920
I didn't.
64
00:02:58,307 --> 00:03:01,440
She left me.
65
00:03:01,340 --> 00:03:03,473
I got back to my hotel room,
66
00:03:03,416 --> 00:03:08,315
and there was a tear-stained
note on the minibar.
67
00:03:08,141 --> 00:03:09,840
"Dearest Mike,
68
00:03:09,801 --> 00:03:12,934
"I'm sorry, but I'm not ready
for this.
69
00:03:12,834 --> 00:03:14,934
"Our lives are different.
70
00:03:14,877 --> 00:03:19,278
I'll always love you."
71
00:03:19,124 --> 00:03:22,623
[VOICE BREAKING]
She walked off with my heart...
72
00:03:22,508 --> 00:03:25,207
And an $18 bag
of cheese puffs.
73
00:03:27,393 --> 00:03:29,526
You know, I'm sorry.
74
00:03:29,469 --> 00:03:32,002
I have work I got to do.
75
00:03:38,983 --> 00:03:41,217
Where did you get
this eye shadow?
76
00:03:41,155 --> 00:03:43,321
It makes me look
like a hooker.
77
00:03:43,261 --> 00:03:45,561
It's mine.
78
00:03:45,497 --> 00:03:48,130
A classy hooker.
79
00:03:48,050 --> 00:03:50,017
I-I don't think I can do this,
Caitlin.
80
00:03:49,966 --> 00:03:51,467
It's so embarrassing.
81
00:03:51,435 --> 00:03:53,868
Sir, please.
It's for a good cause.
82
00:03:53,797 --> 00:03:55,931
Just let me finish.
83
00:03:55,873 --> 00:03:58,540
Hiya, Caitlin. Whoa.
84
00:04:00,312 --> 00:04:02,345
Who's your hot friend?
85
00:04:02,291 --> 00:04:05,090
I'm way out of your league,
Crawford.
86
00:04:06,441 --> 00:04:08,075
What can I do for you?
87
00:04:08,038 --> 00:04:11,337
Sir, we all love Mike.
Mm-hmm.
88
00:04:11,230 --> 00:04:13,597
And it's fun
having him around.
89
00:04:13,530 --> 00:04:15,163
I was just wondering...
90
00:04:15,126 --> 00:04:18,526
When will that fun
be ending?
91
00:04:18,415 --> 00:04:21,281
It occurred to me that having him around
might be a little awkward for you.
92
00:04:21,192 --> 00:04:24,025
But then I thought,
"Charlie knows he's my guy.
93
00:04:23,938 --> 00:04:26,038
This wouldn't bother him."
94
00:04:25,982 --> 00:04:29,048
Good... Because it doesn't.
95
00:04:28,951 --> 00:04:30,784
Now that we've cleared
that up,
96
00:04:30,738 --> 00:04:34,371
I came up with a new idea
for our campaign slogan.
97
00:04:34,251 --> 00:04:36,017
Oh, Mike thought
we should go with,
98
00:04:35,974 --> 00:04:37,675
"Winston...
2001 and beyond."
99
00:04:37,636 --> 00:04:39,736
I think it's brilliant.
100
00:04:39,678 --> 00:04:43,279
I suggested that idea last week,
and you turned it down.
101
00:04:43,159 --> 00:04:45,326
Why the sudden change
of heart?
102
00:04:45,266 --> 00:04:47,266
Well, perhaps I was swayed
by the fact
103
00:04:47,214 --> 00:04:50,080
that I'm now the starting
shortstop for our softball team.
104
00:04:49,991 --> 00:04:52,891
Wow.
Congratulations, sir.
105
00:04:52,801 --> 00:04:54,200
I got to go.
106
00:04:54,173 --> 00:04:55,574
Okay, ready?
107
00:04:55,546 --> 00:04:57,079
Yeah.
108
00:04:57,046 --> 00:04:59,380
[SIGHS]
109
00:05:02,155 --> 00:05:04,222
What do you think?
110
00:05:04,167 --> 00:05:07,700
Good God, I'm beautiful.
111
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:14,913
You okay?
112
00:05:14,863 --> 00:05:15,896
I'm fine.
113
00:05:15,885 --> 00:05:17,551
That waitress leaned over,
114
00:05:17,513 --> 00:05:19,379
and you didn't even notice
her breasts.
115
00:05:19,332 --> 00:05:21,299
I saw them.
116
00:05:21,248 --> 00:05:23,515
They're great.
117
00:05:24,537 --> 00:05:26,937
Ah, it's just this whole
Mike thing.
118
00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:28,601
Yeah, I feel bad for the guy,
119
00:05:28,559 --> 00:05:31,360
but he's really starting to step
on my toes.
120
00:05:31,275 --> 00:05:34,008
If Mike tries to challenge your
authority, I got problems.
121
00:05:33,924 --> 00:05:36,323
Yeah, you won't know
whose ass to kiss.
122
00:05:36,255 --> 00:05:37,922
Exactly.
123
00:05:37,883 --> 00:05:39,416
Don't worry, Charlie.
124
00:05:39,384 --> 00:05:41,918
Mike's just in a bad place
right now. It'll pass.
125
00:05:41,843 --> 00:05:44,075
Stuart's right.
126
00:05:44,013 --> 00:05:47,313
Huh. That sounded weird.
127
00:05:47,207 --> 00:05:49,407
How can you be so worried about
Mike being in a bad place?
128
00:05:49,345 --> 00:05:52,212
What about me? It ever occur to
you I might have feelings?
129
00:05:52,123 --> 00:05:53,123
Do you?
130
00:05:53,113 --> 00:05:55,479
A couple.
131
00:05:55,411 --> 00:05:56,978
How would you feel, Paul,
132
00:05:56,944 --> 00:05:59,778
if someone came to the office
and did your work for you?
133
00:06:00,839 --> 00:06:02,472
Bad example.
134
00:06:02,435 --> 00:06:04,235
Charlie, don't take it
personally.
135
00:06:04,192 --> 00:06:06,058
We all know
you're the mayor's guy.
136
00:06:06,011 --> 00:06:08,978
I guess you're right.
Mike can run a few meetings,
137
00:06:08,884 --> 00:06:11,719
but I'm gonna be standing with
the mayor on the podium
138
00:06:11,630 --> 00:06:13,830
when he announces his bid
for re-election.
139
00:06:13,770 --> 00:06:15,736
I'm gonna be the one
raising his hand in the air
140
00:06:15,686 --> 00:06:18,320
as the thousands of balloons
I ordered
141
00:06:18,241 --> 00:06:19,740
fall on our heads.
142
00:06:26,381 --> 00:06:27,981
I don't believe this.
143
00:06:27,945 --> 00:06:31,646
Charlie, you look a lot
different on TV.
144
00:06:40,175 --> 00:06:41,407
We've got to talk.
145
00:06:41,388 --> 00:06:43,855
Shh. No, look,
that's a tough decision.
146
00:06:43,782 --> 00:06:45,982
You got to let me
think about it.
147
00:06:45,922 --> 00:06:48,355
Hello, this is Charlie Crawford,
and I am in charge here.
148
00:06:48,284 --> 00:06:51,684
If you have a question,
I will answer it.
149
00:06:51,573 --> 00:06:53,206
Uh-huh.
150
00:06:53,169 --> 00:06:56,603
You want thin or
thick crust?
151
00:06:56,490 --> 00:06:58,090
Thin.
152
00:06:58,054 --> 00:06:59,488
Thin.
153
00:06:59,459 --> 00:07:02,592
That better be here
in half an hour.
154
00:07:04,472 --> 00:07:06,672
Mike, what do you think
you're doing here?
155
00:07:06,610 --> 00:07:09,343
Charlie, I'm sorry about moving
up the mayor's announcement.
156
00:07:09,261 --> 00:07:11,261
I just got a tip that Wheeler
was planning
157
00:07:11,208 --> 00:07:13,175
this publicity stunt
for Times Square.
158
00:07:13,124 --> 00:07:15,124
I wanted to call you,
but there just wasn't time.
159
00:07:15,072 --> 00:07:17,339
What you did was unprofessional
and childish.
160
00:07:17,275 --> 00:07:18,741
Those were my balloons.
161
00:07:18,711 --> 00:07:20,978
They were supposed to fall
on my head.
162
00:07:20,915 --> 00:07:23,549
You got some nerve
barging into your office
163
00:07:23,468 --> 00:07:25,369
telling me how to do
your job!
164
00:07:25,321 --> 00:07:27,021
That makes no sense.
165
00:07:26,981 --> 00:07:29,381
Yeah, and I thought
if I yelled it,
166
00:07:29,311 --> 00:07:30,511
you wouldn't notice.
167
00:07:30,493 --> 00:07:33,493
Mike, I know you got
your heart broken.
168
00:07:33,398 --> 00:07:35,798
We all get dumped,
and we all move on.
169
00:07:35,730 --> 00:07:37,163
Why can't you?
170
00:07:37,134 --> 00:07:39,867
Because she didn't break
up with me, okay?
171
00:07:39,783 --> 00:07:42,150
I'm the one who called off
the wedding.
172
00:07:42,083 --> 00:07:43,550
Wait a minute.
173
00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:45,487
What about the
tear-stained note,
174
00:07:45,436 --> 00:07:47,502
"our lives are too
different,"
175
00:07:47,446 --> 00:07:49,014
the $18 bag of cheese puffs?
176
00:07:48,980 --> 00:07:50,346
That was all a lie?
177
00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:51,921
No, that was spin.
178
00:07:51,885 --> 00:07:55,385
I'm masking an untruth
with assorted facts.
179
00:07:55,269 --> 00:07:56,736
So, lying.
180
00:07:56,706 --> 00:07:58,339
Yeah, pretty much.
181
00:08:00,314 --> 00:08:01,715
What happened?
182
00:08:01,687 --> 00:08:04,120
Oh, believe me,
it's... it's complicated.
183
00:08:04,049 --> 00:08:05,249
Is she seeing another man?
184
00:08:05,231 --> 00:08:07,630
I wish it were that simple.
185
00:08:07,561 --> 00:08:08,928
Oh.
186
00:08:08,903 --> 00:08:10,536
Another woman?
187
00:08:10,498 --> 00:08:12,899
Look, I'm just scared,
okay?
188
00:08:12,830 --> 00:08:14,630
Mike, it's just two women.
189
00:08:14,586 --> 00:08:17,386
Light a few candles,
put on some k.D. Lang,
190
00:08:17,299 --> 00:08:19,633
and don't be afraid
to ask questions.
191
00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:22,366
No, I'm afraid
to get married.
192
00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:25,913
See, when I'm at work,
I'm in total control.
193
00:08:25,792 --> 00:08:28,693
I'm two steps ahead
of every problem.
194
00:08:28,602 --> 00:08:32,570
But with Allison, you know,
it's not like that.
195
00:08:32,433 --> 00:08:34,267
Something goes wrong,
196
00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:37,222
I'm not gonna know
how to fix it.
197
00:08:37,127 --> 00:08:39,094
I can't live with that.
198
00:08:39,043 --> 00:08:42,010
Wow... That's tough.
199
00:08:41,917 --> 00:08:43,583
Well, look, it's no problem.
200
00:08:43,545 --> 00:08:45,678
I'm just not gonna let it
affect me.
201
00:08:45,620 --> 00:08:47,287
You spinning again?
202
00:08:47,248 --> 00:08:49,348
No, that was a lie.
203
00:08:56,253 --> 00:08:58,485
I have a delivery
for Carter Heywood.
204
00:08:58,422 --> 00:09:01,422
Oh! Oh, I forgot to cancel the
cake and the champagne
205
00:09:01,328 --> 00:09:02,895
for Mike's engagement party.
206
00:09:02,861 --> 00:09:06,062
I guess we're not gonna need
any of this stuff anymore.
207
00:09:05,957 --> 00:09:07,357
A dear friend of ours
208
00:09:07,331 --> 00:09:09,364
was spurned by the woman
of his dreams.
209
00:09:09,311 --> 00:09:12,210
Once more, the beast of love
proves untamable.
210
00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:14,686
Wow.
That'll be $87.50.
211
00:09:14,610 --> 00:09:17,311
"Congratulations,
Mike and Al"?
212
00:09:17,228 --> 00:09:19,494
Hey, you guys only gave
me 20 bucks.
213
00:09:19,431 --> 00:09:20,865
They charge by the letter.
214
00:09:20,836 --> 00:09:22,736
I'll tell you something.
215
00:09:22,688 --> 00:09:24,688
This whole Mike situation,
216
00:09:24,636 --> 00:09:27,268
it's making me sick
to my stomach.
217
00:09:27,190 --> 00:09:28,724
Must be awful...
218
00:09:28,691 --> 00:09:31,257
think you found the
perfect woman,
219
00:09:31,181 --> 00:09:32,847
and then, poof, she's gone.
220
00:09:32,809 --> 00:09:34,143
Tell me about it.
221
00:09:34,118 --> 00:09:36,118
I was married to Claudia
for three years.
222
00:09:36,066 --> 00:09:37,566
She up and left me.
223
00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:38,801
That's nothing.
224
00:09:38,780 --> 00:09:40,947
I'm almost 40, and no woman has
ever loved me.
225
00:09:40,887 --> 00:09:43,021
That can't be true.
226
00:09:42,963 --> 00:09:44,863
You're almost 40?
227
00:09:44,814 --> 00:09:46,914
What's going on?
228
00:09:46,858 --> 00:09:49,457
We're drinking and talking about
our pathetic love lives.
229
00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:51,280
Wow. Is it 5:00 already?
230
00:09:51,232 --> 00:09:54,332
I can't believe
Mike's not getting married.
231
00:09:54,233 --> 00:09:55,734
It's a real letdown.
232
00:09:55,702 --> 00:09:58,102
Devastating!
233
00:09:58,032 --> 00:10:00,999
You know, in a way, I felt if he
could find the right person,
234
00:10:00,906 --> 00:10:03,106
there might be someone
out there for me, too.
235
00:10:03,046 --> 00:10:04,979
Yeah... gave us all hope.
236
00:10:04,929 --> 00:10:06,429
As I was gonna say
in my toast,
237
00:10:06,397 --> 00:10:10,165
like dew on morning grass,
238
00:10:10,038 --> 00:10:13,270
new love awakens,
refreshes, gives life.
239
00:10:13,166 --> 00:10:15,533
We're having a nice moment here.
Do you have to gay it up?
240
00:10:15,465 --> 00:10:16,965
What about you, Caitlin?
241
00:10:16,933 --> 00:10:19,567
You think you'd ever
get married again?
242
00:10:19,488 --> 00:10:21,488
My high-school boyfriend and I
made a pact
243
00:10:21,436 --> 00:10:24,469
if we were still alone when I
turned 40, we'd get married.
244
00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:27,539
I made a similar pact
with my high-school prom queen.
245
00:10:27,438 --> 00:10:31,305
She said that she would sleep
with me when I turned 50.
246
00:10:31,174 --> 00:10:35,807
It's just I had to be
the last man on earth.
247
00:10:35,644 --> 00:10:38,043
Well, I guess
we have each other.
248
00:10:37,974 --> 00:10:41,608
In a way, I guess
we're like our own family.
249
00:10:41,487 --> 00:10:43,520
We have the protective
older brother,
250
00:10:43,466 --> 00:10:46,232
the perverted
younger brother.
251
00:10:47,138 --> 00:10:49,338
One hour to showtime!
252
00:10:49,278 --> 00:10:52,877
And the transvestite Uncle
that no one talks about.
253
00:10:55,056 --> 00:10:57,056
I can't believe you called
off an engagement.
254
00:10:57,004 --> 00:10:59,871
Wow.
That takes a lot of guts.
255
00:10:59,781 --> 00:11:01,414
Yeah, well, it was tough,
256
00:11:01,378 --> 00:11:04,177
but a guy's got to do
what a guy's got to do.
257
00:11:04,092 --> 00:11:06,125
I just, you know, I looked
her in the eye,
258
00:11:06,071 --> 00:11:08,305
and I said, "hey, sorry,
the engagement's off."
259
00:11:08,242 --> 00:11:10,209
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
260
00:11:10,158 --> 00:11:12,891
There's my fianc?.
261
00:11:12,808 --> 00:11:16,175
Can you hold on
for just one sec?
262
00:11:16,065 --> 00:11:17,665
[DOOR CLOSES]
263
00:11:17,629 --> 00:11:19,429
You never told her.
264
00:11:19,384 --> 00:11:23,217
This is amazing! You're
a bigger screw-up than I am!
265
00:11:23,088 --> 00:11:24,688
How am I gonna tell her
it's off?
266
00:11:24,654 --> 00:11:25,986
Are you sure you want to?
267
00:11:25,962 --> 00:11:28,129
Yes! Come on, Charlie,
marriage is crazy.
268
00:11:28,069 --> 00:11:30,636
I mean, why should a guy give up
his independence
269
00:11:30,561 --> 00:11:32,893
and commit his whole life
to one woman?
270
00:11:34,806 --> 00:11:37,439
You talking to me?
271
00:11:38,830 --> 00:11:41,463
Look, there are a lot of great
things about marriage.
272
00:11:41,383 --> 00:11:42,416
Yeah? Name one.
273
00:11:42,405 --> 00:11:44,772
I understand there's
a tax break?
274
00:11:45,886 --> 00:11:48,619
You know how comedians make all
those jokes
275
00:11:48,535 --> 00:11:50,735
about how their wives
can't cook?
276
00:11:50,675 --> 00:11:52,374
Those will be funnier.
277
00:11:52,335 --> 00:11:54,602
You suck at this.
278
00:11:54,537 --> 00:11:56,837
ALLISON:
Mike, are you okay?
279
00:11:56,773 --> 00:11:58,240
Yeah, just a second.
280
00:11:58,210 --> 00:12:00,244
Mike, three days ago,
you were just saying
281
00:12:00,189 --> 00:12:02,122
there's nothing more important
in life than relationships.
282
00:12:02,074 --> 00:12:04,406
It just happened so fast.
283
00:12:04,340 --> 00:12:07,173
When I asked Allison to marry
me, I wasn't thinking.
284
00:12:07,085 --> 00:12:09,686
That is no way to make
a major life decision.
285
00:12:09,608 --> 00:12:13,208
Well, maybe it's the best way.
Do you love her? Yes.
286
00:12:13,088 --> 00:12:15,222
Can you imagine meeting someone
that'll make you happier?
287
00:12:15,163 --> 00:12:17,296
No.
288
00:12:17,239 --> 00:12:19,772
Then you got to ask yourself
what's scarier...
289
00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:22,131
taking a chance
and spending your life with her
290
00:12:22,060 --> 00:12:24,693
or playing it safe and spending
your life without her.
291
00:12:25,955 --> 00:12:29,187
I don't know who I'm channeling,
but this makes sense, right?
292
00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:33,513
Poor Mike.
He'll never get to say, "I do."
293
00:12:33,426 --> 00:12:34,925
He'll never have children.
294
00:12:34,894 --> 00:12:36,695
He'll never get to hear
my toast.
295
00:12:36,652 --> 00:12:39,918
Yeah, not hearing you talk...
that's the real tragedy.
296
00:12:41,408 --> 00:12:43,541
Is anyone else feeling sick
from this cake?
297
00:12:43,483 --> 00:12:45,950
None of us had any.
298
00:12:47,155 --> 00:12:49,288
Carter, get me some more
champagne.
299
00:12:49,230 --> 00:12:51,330
That is your fifth glass.
I think you should slow down.
300
00:12:51,274 --> 00:12:55,008
No. This Allison, she really
grinds my beans.
301
00:12:54,881 --> 00:12:56,881
If I ever see her again,
302
00:12:56,828 --> 00:13:00,095
I'm gonna give her
a piece of my mind!
303
00:12:59,990 --> 00:13:02,624
Excuse me.
I need some air.
304
00:13:02,575 --> 00:13:04,575
You're heading
to the cafeteria.
305
00:13:04,524 --> 00:13:07,124
Peach cobbler, then air!
306
00:13:07,047 --> 00:13:09,413
Mike and Allison are back
together.
307
00:13:09,345 --> 00:13:13,179
He wants to get married right now.
Oh, my God, that's great!
308
00:13:13,049 --> 00:13:15,315
He figures all of his closest
friends are here,
309
00:13:15,252 --> 00:13:17,018
so he asked the mayor
to perform the ceremony.
310
00:13:16,976 --> 00:13:19,243
So he's getting married
right in this office?
311
00:13:19,179 --> 00:13:20,613
Yes. We got to clear out
312
00:13:20,584 --> 00:13:23,551
any offensive pictures,
paperweights, calendars...
313
00:13:23,457 --> 00:13:25,623
in a nutshell,
let's lose Stuart's desk.
314
00:13:25,564 --> 00:13:27,298
I'll make the arrangements.
We need music, flowers...
315
00:13:27,257 --> 00:13:28,690
oh, and a bachelor party?
316
00:13:28,661 --> 00:13:30,628
Better do it fast.
317
00:13:30,577 --> 00:13:33,510
Okay. There are two key elements
to every bachelor party...
318
00:13:33,419 --> 00:13:35,452
someone gets punched
in the face,
319
00:13:35,398 --> 00:13:37,432
and some hot woman
shows her breasts.
320
00:13:37,378 --> 00:13:38,879
Caitlin, help me out here.
321
00:13:38,847 --> 00:13:41,914
That's one down. Why don't
you lift your shirt and...
322
00:13:41,815 --> 00:13:45,549
you really aren't embracing
the spirit of this thing.
323
00:13:50,117 --> 00:13:52,750
I apologize for the shoddy
arrangements,
324
00:13:52,671 --> 00:13:54,704
but I didn't have
much time.
325
00:13:58,035 --> 00:13:59,602
This is amazing.
326
00:13:59,568 --> 00:14:01,968
I can't wait
to see what you do
327
00:14:01,899 --> 00:14:05,064
with the money we gave you for
the Christmas party.
328
00:14:04,963 --> 00:14:06,863
There's not gonna be
a Christmas party.
329
00:14:13,488 --> 00:14:15,421
["Wedding March" PLAYS]
330
00:14:15,371 --> 00:14:17,306
This violin player
is pretty good.
331
00:14:17,255 --> 00:14:18,589
Where'd you find him?
332
00:14:18,565 --> 00:14:21,166
He plays at my subway stop.
This is big for him.
333
00:14:21,087 --> 00:14:23,554
He hasn't played aboveground
in three years.
334
00:14:35,550 --> 00:14:38,251
["Wedding March" RESUMES]
335
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:41,579
Are you ready?
336
00:14:41,553 --> 00:14:43,520
Yeah, I think so.
Hey, Carter.
337
00:14:50,844 --> 00:14:53,944
Well, well, well!
338
00:14:53,845 --> 00:14:56,912
Look who we have here,
huh?
339
00:14:56,814 --> 00:14:58,315
You really didn't think
340
00:14:58,284 --> 00:14:59,617
you could break
my best friend's heart
341
00:14:59,592 --> 00:15:02,193
and get away with it,
did you?!
342
00:15:02,115 --> 00:15:03,748
You are nothing...
343
00:15:03,712 --> 00:15:07,079
But a two-bit harlot!
344
00:15:12,172 --> 00:15:14,138
Paul,
if that was your toast...
345
00:15:14,088 --> 00:15:16,655
needs some work.
346
00:15:20,442 --> 00:15:22,908
["Wedding March" RESUMES]
347
00:15:31,552 --> 00:15:33,219
Uh, sir,
348
00:15:33,181 --> 00:15:35,548
maybe you should have changed
before the ceremony.
349
00:15:35,479 --> 00:15:37,945
I have to be at the "Broadway
cares" gala in 20 minutes.
350
00:15:37,874 --> 00:15:39,774
What do you think,
I just roll out of bed
351
00:15:39,725 --> 00:15:41,025
looking like this?
352
00:15:41,003 --> 00:15:44,003
Men.
353
00:15:43,908 --> 00:15:47,042
You look so beautiful.
354
00:15:46,942 --> 00:15:48,942
Well, thank you, Mike.
355
00:15:48,889 --> 00:15:51,156
At least someone
appreciates it.
356
00:15:52,497 --> 00:15:53,964
[EXHALES]
357
00:15:53,934 --> 00:15:56,267
[CLEARING THROATS]
358
00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:58,967
We are gathered here today
359
00:15:58,882 --> 00:16:01,882
to join these two people
in holy matrimony.
360
00:16:01,787 --> 00:16:03,455
Now, before Mike and Allison
exchange vows,
361
00:16:03,417 --> 00:16:05,750
perhaps some of his friends
would like to say a few words?
362
00:16:05,683 --> 00:16:08,084
Well, it's showtime.
363
00:16:08,014 --> 00:16:09,147
Yes, Stuart?
364
00:16:09,132 --> 00:16:10,765
Thank you.
365
00:16:10,728 --> 00:16:14,428
As I've always said, like dew on
the morning grass,
366
00:16:14,303 --> 00:16:17,737
a new love awakens,
refreshes, gives life.
367
00:16:17,624 --> 00:16:21,224
Well, Stuart, that's...
that's heartfelt and profound.
368
00:16:21,104 --> 00:16:23,271
Thank you.
Yes, Carter?
369
00:16:23,212 --> 00:16:26,811
Uh, be happy...
370
00:16:26,691 --> 00:16:28,958
You two.
371
00:16:30,236 --> 00:16:32,203
Weak, Carter... very weak.
372
00:16:32,152 --> 00:16:36,085
Now the bride and groom
will exchange vows.
373
00:16:35,952 --> 00:16:38,218
Allison?
374
00:16:38,154 --> 00:16:41,288
[CLEARS THROAT]
375
00:16:41,187 --> 00:16:42,854
Mike...
376
00:16:42,816 --> 00:16:46,649
You're everything
I've ever dreamed of.
377
00:16:46,519 --> 00:16:48,718
You're loving...
378
00:16:48,658 --> 00:16:51,358
Caring...
379
00:16:51,277 --> 00:16:53,210
And funny...
380
00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:54,760
Intelligent...
381
00:16:54,724 --> 00:16:56,624
I'll stop that.
382
00:16:58,524 --> 00:17:02,091
Every day I spend with you
makes me love you more.
383
00:17:01,973 --> 00:17:04,472
Me too.
384
00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:07,465
Sorry.
385
00:17:07,369 --> 00:17:08,935
Go.
386
00:17:08,900 --> 00:17:10,733
Allison, I, um...
387
00:17:10,689 --> 00:17:14,622
[VOICE BREAKING]
I-I used to think that
388
00:17:14,487 --> 00:17:18,155
everything I needed
was... was right here.
389
00:17:18,032 --> 00:17:21,431
But since I met you,
that's all changed.
390
00:17:21,321 --> 00:17:24,755
I know we haven't known each
other for very long,
391
00:17:24,641 --> 00:17:27,908
but I can't imagine my life
without you.
392
00:17:27,802 --> 00:17:29,502
I love you.
393
00:17:37,476 --> 00:17:41,044
I now pronounce you
man and wife.
394
00:17:40,925 --> 00:17:42,892
Uh, sir, don't forget
the kiss.
395
00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:46,339
I'm sorry, Mike.
I'm just so flustered.
396
00:17:46,225 --> 00:17:47,859
[SMOOCHES]
397
00:17:47,821 --> 00:17:49,421
Congratulations, son.
398
00:17:57,528 --> 00:17:59,894
Uh, you know,
the only drawback, sir,
399
00:17:59,826 --> 00:18:02,060
to a spontaneous wedding
like this
400
00:18:01,997 --> 00:18:04,530
is that my mom and dad
couldn't be here,
401
00:18:04,455 --> 00:18:07,789
but I want you to know you
stepped in for both of them.
402
00:18:10,266 --> 00:18:12,566
Gee, Mike,
I'm really gonna miss you.
403
00:18:12,502 --> 00:18:13,802
Thanks, stuey.
404
00:18:13,779 --> 00:18:15,679
Can I get a hug?
405
00:18:15,631 --> 00:18:17,997
He means you.
You got a problem with that?
406
00:18:17,929 --> 00:18:19,396
By all means.
407
00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:20,933
Ah, congratulations.
408
00:18:20,898 --> 00:18:23,465
You really outdid
yourself here.
409
00:18:23,390 --> 00:18:25,789
I want you to know if you ever
give up politics,
410
00:18:25,719 --> 00:18:27,686
you could be a kick-ass
wedding planner.
411
00:18:27,635 --> 00:18:30,469
Don't be a stranger.
412
00:18:32,137 --> 00:18:34,271
Aw, Mike,
I love you, buddy.
413
00:18:34,212 --> 00:18:36,679
I really hope you two
are happy together,
414
00:18:36,607 --> 00:18:39,074
and I'm sorry I called you
a two-bit harlot.
415
00:18:39,001 --> 00:18:41,501
That's okay. I don't even know
what a harlot is.
416
00:18:41,429 --> 00:18:43,162
Oh... it's a whore.
417
00:18:46,058 --> 00:18:47,925
That was so beautiful.
Congratulations.
418
00:18:47,878 --> 00:18:50,744
I'm so glad you could
be here for it.
419
00:18:53,369 --> 00:18:55,970
Oh, hey, listen...
420
00:18:55,892 --> 00:18:57,558
uh, thanks for everything,
421
00:18:57,520 --> 00:19:00,019
and sorry I got in your way
the last couple of days.
422
00:18:59,946 --> 00:19:01,681
Don't worry about it.
423
00:19:01,639 --> 00:19:04,505
Someday I can come into your
office and be really annoying.
424
00:19:04,417 --> 00:19:06,716
I'd like that.
425
00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:10,321
Take good care
of this place, huh?
426
00:19:10,260 --> 00:19:11,893
I'll do my best.
427
00:19:14,410 --> 00:19:16,077
Whoo! Yeah! Yeah!
428
00:19:16,038 --> 00:19:17,805
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
429
00:19:29,959 --> 00:19:31,426
Well...
430
00:19:34,332 --> 00:19:36,800
Weddings are so romantic.
431
00:19:36,728 --> 00:19:38,661
That's why at
times like these,
432
00:19:38,612 --> 00:19:40,678
it's so easy to hook up
with women.
433
00:19:40,623 --> 00:19:43,022
You know, I've never left
a wedding alone.
434
00:19:42,953 --> 00:19:45,053
You look great, by the way.
435
00:19:44,997 --> 00:19:46,664
Give it up, Charlie.
436
00:19:46,626 --> 00:19:49,092
All right.
See you tomorrow.
437
00:19:49,020 --> 00:19:51,287
How about this...
I'll let you leave with me,
438
00:19:51,223 --> 00:19:53,623
and then, technically,
you're not leaving alone.
439
00:19:53,553 --> 00:19:55,720
I'll take it.
440
00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:00,074
Don't push it.
441
00:20:03,356 --> 00:20:05,122
I tell you,
now that Mike's married,
442
00:20:05,079 --> 00:20:07,046
I think love's right around the
corner for all of us.
443
00:20:06,994 --> 00:20:08,894
Yep, the times,
they are a-changin'.
444
00:20:08,847 --> 00:20:12,214
I think I'll try out
our luck right now.
445
00:20:12,104 --> 00:20:14,104
Hey, baby,
can I buy you a drink?
446
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,533
It's been a rough day.
What the hell?
447
00:21:15,167 --> 00:21:16,367
Sit, ubu, sit.Good dog.
448
00:21:16,368 --> 00:21:17,568
(BARKING)
449
00:21:17,569 --> 00:21:20,068
Moo.
450
00:21:20,118 --> 00:21:24,668
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