All language subtitles for Spin City s06e02 Manhattan.eng

What a night.
I think I might've

over-celebrated
Mike's engagement.

Last time
I drank like that,

I was hitting
on sorority girls.

So... Tuesday.

Why did I have that
second pi?a colada?

Damn my weakness
for sweetened coconut.

So, this is what it's like
to be the sober one.

No wonder I was so unproductive
in the '90s.

I got to warn you, boss.

I don't think I'm going to be
very helpful today.

The streak continues.

All right, let's get the morning
meeting started.

We need to talk.

Last night, before Mike
announced his engagement,

we were about to kiss.

Charlie, I'm in no condition
for a serious conversation.

Can we do it later?

Okay. I'm the sober one
and the one who wants to talk?

If I was still clinging
to my virginity,

I'd be
my college girlfriend.

Seeing as you're all hung over,

I'll try to keep this short
and quiet.

Hello, everyone!

Starting today, I want
to take time each morning

to discuss
our personal lives.

So come on, people,
let's dish.

Well, actually,
I've been feeling

a little melancholy lately,
and I've been...

super. Now me.

Claire has really been
bringing out my romantic side.

This morning, I had the tree
outside of my bedroom window

cut down so that
we could watch the sun rise

over the east river.

The big oak tree?

Sir, that tree was
a historical landmark.

It was planted in 1796
by George Washington.

Well, the good news is,
he's dead.

Besides,
what's the big deal?

I'm sure he planted
other trees.

I don't know.

He was probably too busy
with the whole

"giving birth to a nation"
thing.

I'm sorry. I make
a hundred decisions a day,

and it's hard for me
to keep track

of who planted
what tree.

Besides, my gardener
took it down.

Well, your gardener's not
running for mayor.

Well, I should hope not.
He's an illegal immigrant.

Hey, everybody,
I want you to meet Allison.

Hi, Allison.
I'm Caitlin.

Mike cannot stop
talking about you.

And I cannot stop
looking at you.

You must be Stuart.

You'll have to
forgive him.

At times, he can be
quite puerile and fatuous.

You must be Carter.

Oh, Mike told you
I was well-spoken.

No, he said you were
a bald black guy.

Allison, I've never seen
Mike happier,

and I should know,
'cause we're best friends.

Ahem. Paul.

Oh. Paul, of course...
Mike's best friend.

So, I have been dying to know.
How did you guys meet?

Well, you know,
I was in the water

at this beautiful
secluded beach

and, uh, started waving
at her.

The next thing I know,

I'm lying in her arms
on the sand.

So it was love
at first sight.

Actually, I was drowning.

She is a hell
of a swimmer.

I had to give Mike
mouth-to-mouth

for nearly five minutes.

You know, to be honest,
I wasn't actually unconscious.

Yeah, I knew that.

Unconscious people rarely try
to untie a bikini top.

Well, it was great
meeting you guys.

I'll see you all later.

Come here.

Bye-bye.

Oh, is she great or what?

So, now all I have to do
is buy the ring.

So, Carter, your first job
as my best man

is to pick one out.
I'm on it.

Oh, and, Carter, no male
strippers at the bachelor party.

No problem. Ha.

Damn it.

Okay, Charlie, you wanna talk?
Let's talk.

Excellent.

I've been thinking about
where I am in my life.

[GROANS]

That sentence
never leads to fun.

I know we almost kissed
last night,

but then Mike got engaged,
and I realized

I want more
than just a fling.

First you want me,
then you don't.

We almost kiss,
then you leave.

I'm through
playing this game.

I wouldn't go home
with you now

unless you asked me.

Charlie, my last two
boyfriends just got engaged.

The next guy I'm with needs
to have long-term potential,

and we both know
that's not you.

That doesn't sound
like me.

Do you have a cigarette?

Yes, I do.

Thanks.

Look at that. You can't stop
hitting on women.

I wasn't hitting on her.

Charlie,
you don't even smoke.

I like to help people.

Hey, buddy,
could I bum a smoke?

What am I...
a vending machine?

Charlie, we're friends.

I think that's what
we're meant to be.

Caitlin, there's something
going on here.

Let's give it a chance.

I got to go.

How about I pay you back
for the cigarette

by buying you a drink?

I don't know.
I'm pretty down.

Trouble with
your girlfriend?

Oh, no, no.
She's not my girlfriend.

It's kind of complicated.

So you want me
to leave?

Not that complicated.

I had a great time
last night.

You were amazing.

You too.

That thing with the ice
cream was a first.

Well, I am
the "good humor" man.

You were really intense.

At one point,
you actually screamed.

It was so primal.

To be honest, I think
I pulled a hamstring.

Look, Jennifer,

I think you're great,
but I'm really not ready for...

I'll take this one.
Last night was fun,

but I'm not ready to be
in a relationship right now,

so why don't we accept it
for what it was?

One evening of pure
uncomplicated passion.

Wow. You rejected me,

yet my self-esteem
is completely intact.

It's designed that way.

I'll call you.

Yeah. Thanks.

I can use that.

Last night was fun but...

Something
about pure passion.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Oh, great, I need you
to say that thing again.

Aah!

What?

Nothing.
I'm happy to see you.

Caitlin... Aah!

I feel bad about the way
we left things last night.

You do?

Yes.

I mean, clearly,

there's something
between us,

but instead
of taking a chance,

I was home trying to cheer
myself up with ice cream.

Me too.

Why don't we stop
over-thinking everything

and just see
where this leads?

Do you want to go
on a date with me?

Yes. I would love that.

Great. I mean,
it's obvious

neither one of us will be able to
move on until we resolve this thing.

Totally obvious.

What's this?

Oh, that...
that's my pashmina scarf.

You wear
a pashmina scarf?

What...
a man can't feel pretty?

Do you see? I told you
you'd like the c?zanne exhibit.

I could never have gotten
Mike to go to that museum.

What is your secret?

See, Carter, the difference
between you and Allison

is what happens
after we see the paintings.

Gotcha.
I don't put out.

No, you don't shut up.

I've got to get
to the airport.

I'll call you
in a few days.

Stay a little while longer,
okay?

If you miss your flight,
I'll drive you.

I'm going to Brazil.

I know a shortcut
through Honduras.

You know, if there's no
rebel activity,

we're there
in the morning.

I'll call you
as soon as I land.

I'll miss you.

I'll miss you more.

She will miss me more.

Mike, if Allison always
travels this much,

you're never going
to see her.

Yeah, I know. That's why
I'm going to quit work.

I'm just going to travel
around with her.

Next month,
we're going to Africa.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Mike Flaherty is going
to stop working?

Impossible.

Seeing Allison helped me put
everything in perspective.

I mean, I love politics,
but it became an obsession.

My seven years at city hall...
I saw one movie.

"City hall."

I want to get married.
I want to have kids,

and, you know, this is the only
way it's going to happen.

Can't believe I'm hearing you
say that. I am impressed.

All right, well,
if you'll excuse me,

Allison told me about a great
exhibit of botticelli nudes.

Botticelli...
his models were...

Chicks.
I'm in.

Julian Wheeler's live
on New York one.

I think he's going to announce
his candidacy for mayor.

Another billionaire politician

who thinks he can buy
the election.

That bastard.
That was our plan.

This was once
a beautiful tree

planted by George Washington.

But mayor Winston
has carelessly destroyed

this national treasure,

just like he's destroying
this great city.

How did he find out
about the tree?

That's all for today.

Mr. Wheeler will be...

Charlie, that's the woman
from the bar.

And she's wearing
your pashmina scarf.

Tomorrow, you can ask him
any question you want.

Thank you.

You took her home,
didn't you?

Well, uh...

Charlie, did you tell her
about the tree?

Ha ha. No.

Yes. That tree stands
for 200 years,

he's seeing this woman
for two weeks, and then...

Ya! Ya! Ya!

It's all gone! Ha ha ha!

It might've come up.

I had no idea that woman
was his campaign manager.

I'm sorry.

No, no, it's our fault.
From now on,

we'll have Stuart
run background checks

before your one-night stands.

Yes, because if a girl
can live up

to Stuart's lofty
moral standards,

there should be no problem.

I cannot believe
she manipulated me like that.

I feel so used.

Oh, shut up.

So when Charlie
gets taken advantage of,

he still has sex
with a hot woman.

Yeah, when I get
taken advantage of,

I pay 200 bucks
for a romex watch.

For the last time, Paul,
a deal's a deal.

Hey, guys. I heard about
your work crisis.

I just wanted to say
good luck.

I mean, obviously
it's not my thing anymore,

so there's no reason for me
to get involved.

Good for you.

If I were
to get involved...

I say you take
the wood from the tree,

and you make something
of value to the city.

That's good, that's good.

In the meantime,
we got to get you

in front of the cameras,
making a sincere apology.

Apologizing is my least
favorite part of the job.

Ironically,
it's what I do the most.

We'll need someone to draft a statement.
I'll do it.

And someone's got to deal
with the environmental groups.

I'll do it.

And someone should find
that devious woman,

feed her phony information,
and sleep with her.

I'll do it.

Hey, Carter,

I'm just going to help out.
I'll make a couple of calls.

Yeah, hi,
this is Mike Flaherty.

Get me the parks commissioner
on the phone, please.

What are you doing? You said
you were done with work.

Carter, come on,
this is fun.

Now, what do you mean
he's busy?

No, you tell him to get
his butt to the phone,

or I will drag Washington's
tree down there,

and I will beat his ass
with it.

See, this is fun.

The revolutionary war
society is planning

to picket city hall.

Find out if we can make
a deal.

I need this asap.
Go, go, go.

We need to talk.

Stay.

Caitlin, I'd love
to talk right now,

but Stuart and I are
in the middle of something,

and I wouldn't want you
to feel uncomfortable

expressing yourself.

You are a huge ass.

She seems comfortable.

How could you sleep
with that woman?

After everything
we've been through,

you couldn't make it one hour without
jumping into bed with someone?

The rule is,
you wait 30 minutes.

That's for going swimming
after you eat.

You're the one that wanted
to be friends.

What did I do wrong?

If you cared about me,

you would've taken some time
before moving on.

Caitlin,
we live in a modern world

where things happen
so quickly.

It used to take six weeks
to cross the Atlantic,

and now you can fly
in five hours.

So?

So let's talk about that.

And I felt guilty about
leaving you at the bar.

Oh, I can't believe I was up half
the night thinking about you.

Listen, Caitlin, just because
I was with her

doesn't mean
you weren't on my mind.

Ew.

That's not what I...

look, I was really upset
when you said

I didn't have
long-term potential.

I needed someone
to talk to.

You actually talked?

A little.

After.

I want you gentlemen to know
we take you very seriously.

George Washington's tree
has been killed,

and it's as upsetting to us
as it is to...

Thee.

What are you proposing?

Well, why don't we name
a bridge after him?

We already have one.

Shh.

I'll tell you what...
we'll give you a statue

in central park and a parade
on presidents' day.

Let us take a vote.

Yea.

Yea.

Yea.
Nay.

Come on, Stan,
you're always so negative.

No wonder none
of the Betsy rosses like you.

Uh, gentlemen,

we've got a lot of fires
to put out here.

Maybe we could reschedule this
for next Tuesday?

Hey. We have lives.

Clearly.

The "post" is going to print
our side of the story.

Okay, Paul,
draft a press release.

I want it
on the 10:00 news.

Stuart, find the mayor,
bring him up to speed,

tell him we go live
in an hour.

You, what do you do?

I'm just
a college student.

Graduate, find a job,
retire, move to Boca.

Go, go, go, go, go!

Carter, what do you got
for me?

I, uh, made an appointment
with the jeweler,

and I jotted down
some romantic notes

for you to use when you give
the ring to Allison.

"My dearest..."

That's nice.

"I've loved you
from the moment I saw you...

"Your beautiful brown eyes,
your silky hair,

your... Powerful biceps."

Sorry. Wrong notes.

I'm trying to patch things up
with Brad.

I think I can
actually use this.

See, I just change
"rugged beard"

to "porcelain skin"

and "firm buttocks" to...
no, actually, that works.

Hey, we just caught
a break.

Turns out Wheeler made millions
destroying low-income housing

building luxury condos.

Great. That's it.
That's our fix.

Let's go map out
the mayor's response.

Mike. What about the ring?

If you want to surprise her with a ring
tomorrow, we've got to leave right now.

Why don't you
buy it for me?

And, hey, buy a little
something for Brad...

something that will go with his
sculpted chest and his winning smile.

Carter, nice work.
This guy is a fox.

I cannot tell a lie.

I chopped down
George Washington's tree.

It's a regrettable accident,
but we are using the wood

to create a shelter
for the needy.

While my opponent likes
to destroy homes for the poor,

I intend to build them.

Thanks, everyone.
We dodged a bullet.

You do this job
day after day,

and you feel like
you never make a difference.

But today, we stepped up,
and we accomplished something.

And you know what?

It really wasn't
that satisfying.

Well, I'm inspired.
Let's go have another round.

Come on!
Drinks are on...

Coasters.

Well, it's been a crazy
couple of days.

Hard to keep track
of who did what,

who slept with who...

Good news is,
everything's back to normal.

I got to go.

Wait.
You can't be mad at me.

Why not?
Because you know me.

When it comes to women,
I'm a screwup.

It's who I am.

Do you get mad at the sun
for rising

or the wind for blowing
or a rooster for...

please stop talking.

Can I say one more thing?

What?

I'm sorry.

I never meant to make you feel
like you weren't important to me.

I know.
You don't have to apologize.

Just because I was home obsessing
about our relationship

doesn't mean
you shouldn't have fun.

Well, to be honest,

I would rather have hung out
with you.

Thanks.

So, friends?

Friends.

You know, sometimes I admire
the way

you can just have a good time
without even thinking twice.

I'll let you in
on a secret.

I don't even think once.

Good night, Charlie.

Good night.

Hi.

Can we talk?

Well, if it isn't

Ms. "pick me up,
take me home,

and get information
about a tree" lady.

That sounded better
in my head.

Look, Charlie,
when we met,

I didn't know
where you worked.

I just liked you.

And then you told me
that story

about the mayor...

Ya! Ya! Ya!

I had to use it.

Come on, you would've done
the same thing.

You can't go by me.

I'm legendary
for my bad judgment.

So, what do we do?

How about
if we get out of here?

Well, actually, I'm still
getting over that friend

from before,

so I think I'd rather
just talk.

Okay.

Talk.

That pretty much covers it.

Is Mike stopping by today?

No. I finally
got through to him.

As we speak, he's giving
Allison the ring.

Good for him.

And me. Mike was wise

to all my best slacking
techniques...

reissuing old memos,

taking a nap
in the janitor's closet,

putting a cardboard cutout
of myself at my desk

and then leaving early.

Ha ha. Not that I would ever
try that on you, boss.

I mean, you're so...

save it. I know
all about flat Paul.

You do?
When did you find out?

The day I was talking
to you

and it was... Interesting.

Can you picture it?

As we speak,
Mike is in central park,

standing on a bridge,
proposing to Allison.

Hey, guys.

Mike, what are you doing here?
What happened to the proposal?

Oh. The engagement
is off.

What do you mean off?

Off. You know, not on.

Come on, guys,
I was kidding myself.

This is where I belong.

Now, come on, let's go.
We got a city to run.

"We"?
Yeah. I'm back.

Sit, ubu, sit.
Good dog.

[BARKING]

Moo.

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