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1
00:00:00,727 --> 00:00:02,727
Hey, Caitlin.
You're a little late.
2
00:00:02,667 --> 00:00:04,034
I had breakfast with Tim.
3
00:00:04,002 --> 00:00:05,635
I don't think that's all.
4
00:00:05,592 --> 00:00:06,758
What are you implying?
5
00:00:06,736 --> 00:00:08,869
I'm implying
your sweater's on backwards.
6
00:00:17,259 --> 00:00:20,426
Can you do that again?
7
00:00:21,551 --> 00:00:24,285
I should've gotten a peek
at something.
8
00:00:24,189 --> 00:00:26,890
Hey, babe.
These are for you.
9
00:00:26,796 --> 00:00:29,896
Violets! They're my favorite.
How did you know?
10
00:00:29,785 --> 00:00:31,184
We took that drive
11
00:00:31,151 --> 00:00:33,251
and you pointed to a field
of violets and said,
12
00:00:33,186 --> 00:00:34,620
"those are my favorite."
13
00:00:34,585 --> 00:00:37,884
And you remembered.
14
00:00:37,764 --> 00:00:40,264
He gets that for remembering?
15
00:00:40,180 --> 00:00:43,047
I went out with a girl
on Saturday.
16
00:00:42,945 --> 00:00:44,645
I didn't get anything
17
00:00:44,598 --> 00:00:48,099
for remembering to mail her bra
back to her.
18
00:00:47,969 --> 00:00:50,636
How many stamps did that take?
19
00:00:50,544 --> 00:00:51,977
Six.
20
00:00:51,942 --> 00:00:53,776
Nice.
21
00:01:17,756 --> 00:01:20,023
Isn't Caitlin's new boyfriend
great?
22
00:01:19,950 --> 00:01:21,950
He's witty,
charming, well-read.
23
00:01:21,890 --> 00:01:24,522
Something about that guy
rubs me the wrong way.
24
00:01:24,432 --> 00:01:25,699
What?
25
00:01:25,672 --> 00:01:28,073
He's witty,
charming, well-read.
26
00:01:29,456 --> 00:01:31,389
He's one of these annoying
know-it-alls
27
00:01:31,331 --> 00:01:33,432
who's always reminding you
how smart he is.
28
00:01:33,366 --> 00:01:36,299
As Tennyson once wrote...
29
00:01:36,196 --> 00:01:39,496
knowledge comes,
but wisdom lingers.
30
00:01:39,374 --> 00:01:42,408
See? Annoying.
31
00:01:42,299 --> 00:01:43,598
Good news, everyone.
32
00:01:43,571 --> 00:01:46,104
Tim has generously commissioned
an artist
33
00:01:46,019 --> 00:01:47,452
to sculpt a bust of me.
34
00:01:47,417 --> 00:01:49,384
Now the city will remember me
35
00:01:49,324 --> 00:01:51,658
long after
I'm cryogenically frozen.
36
00:01:51,582 --> 00:01:53,081
We're having it made
37
00:01:53,044 --> 00:01:55,678
out of the finest alabaster
from Italy.
38
00:01:55,588 --> 00:01:58,521
As long as I don't end up
looking like charlton heston.
39
00:01:58,417 --> 00:01:59,916
Why would that happen?
40
00:01:59,879 --> 00:02:02,379
Because
I look like charlton heston.
41
00:02:02,296 --> 00:02:04,929
I don't see it.
42
00:02:04,839 --> 00:02:10,505
Picture me in a loincloth
being hosed down by apes.
43
00:02:10,275 --> 00:02:13,675
I'm sorry, sir.
I can't get past the loincloth.
44
00:02:13,549 --> 00:02:15,583
Thanks again, Tim.
45
00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:18,287
I look like charlton heston.
46
00:02:18,191 --> 00:02:21,091
Why wouldn't he get a portrait
like every other mayor?
47
00:02:20,988 --> 00:02:22,455
I, like the romans,
48
00:02:22,420 --> 00:02:24,786
believe that a bust
is the perfect way
49
00:02:24,708 --> 00:02:27,242
to immortalize
a leader's accomplishments.
50
00:02:27,156 --> 00:02:28,889
And I, like the taxpayers,
51
00:02:28,841 --> 00:02:31,207
think a bust
is a waste of money.
52
00:02:31,129 --> 00:02:33,329
Art is never a waste of money,
53
00:02:33,260 --> 00:02:35,627
and I think
portraits are boring.
54
00:02:35,549 --> 00:02:39,049
I'll take your word
on what's boring.
55
00:02:39,936 --> 00:02:43,069
Charlie, can I talk to you?
56
00:02:42,956 --> 00:02:45,022
One second, honey.
57
00:02:44,959 --> 00:02:47,925
Charlie, I'm sensing
you have a problem with Tim.
58
00:02:47,820 --> 00:02:49,753
Me? No.
I think he's great.
59
00:02:49,695 --> 00:02:50,762
Oh, come on.
60
00:02:50,744 --> 00:02:53,344
I can tell
something's bothering you.
61
00:02:53,255 --> 00:02:55,622
Just be honest.
I won't be upset.
62
00:02:55,545 --> 00:02:58,011
Okay, he's not my favorite guy.
63
00:02:57,929 --> 00:03:00,463
How could he not be
your favorite guy?!
64
00:03:00,377 --> 00:03:02,844
Why does this matter?
65
00:03:02,761 --> 00:03:05,061
It's important to me
that you get along.
66
00:03:04,987 --> 00:03:06,987
Why don't you come to dinner
with us tonight?
67
00:03:06,926 --> 00:03:08,759
I don't want to be
the third wheel.
68
00:03:08,707 --> 00:03:11,673
Think of us as a tricycle.
69
00:03:11,568 --> 00:03:17,367
That's not the threesome analogy
that usually gets me on board.
70
00:03:17,131 --> 00:03:18,298
I'm serious.
71
00:03:18,275 --> 00:03:20,975
I haven't felt this way
in a long time.
72
00:03:20,882 --> 00:03:22,015
I mean, who knows?
73
00:03:21,995 --> 00:03:23,228
He may be the father
74
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,635
of my Douglas, David,
Donald, and Otis.
75
00:03:25,555 --> 00:03:27,322
You've already named your kids?
76
00:03:27,273 --> 00:03:29,305
What can I say?
I'm a planner.
77
00:03:29,242 --> 00:03:30,476
Come on.
78
00:03:30,451 --> 00:03:32,785
One dinner.
79
00:03:35,347 --> 00:03:38,080
Look at him.
He just wants to be your friend.
80
00:03:37,985 --> 00:03:41,052
That Charlie guy
rubs me the wrong way.
81
00:03:40,941 --> 00:03:41,908
Why?
82
00:03:41,895 --> 00:03:43,196
He's one of those macho guys
83
00:03:43,167 --> 00:03:45,967
who makes you feel bad
because you read books.
84
00:03:46,855 --> 00:03:49,222
It's like emerson once wrote...
85
00:03:49,144 --> 00:03:52,111
knowledge is the antidote
to fear.
86
00:03:53,244 --> 00:03:55,711
That is annoying.
87
00:03:58,013 --> 00:04:00,380
The job title
is "efficiency consultant,"
88
00:04:00,303 --> 00:04:02,203
and it's
a one-month assignment.
89
00:04:02,147 --> 00:04:04,947
I really appreciate
your setting up this interview.
90
00:04:04,848 --> 00:04:07,315
Just don't tell anyone
you're my sister.
91
00:04:07,234 --> 00:04:09,334
We wouldn't want
anybody to think
92
00:04:09,267 --> 00:04:11,367
you're getting
special treatment.
93
00:04:11,301 --> 00:04:13,468
But don't worry.
You're a shoo-in.
94
00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:14,567
You said the same thing
95
00:04:14,545 --> 00:04:16,411
when I auditioned
for "West Side story."
96
00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:18,824
I'm sorry.
That was out of my hands.
97
00:04:18,741 --> 00:04:20,741
You were the director.
98
00:04:20,681 --> 00:04:21,947
We have been over this.
99
00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:24,287
You didn't capture
Maria's inner torment.
100
00:04:25,195 --> 00:04:27,561
Uh, Paul lassiter,
Stuart bondek,
101
00:04:27,483 --> 00:04:29,017
this is sherri fields.
102
00:04:28,978 --> 00:04:30,212
How do you do?
103
00:04:30,186 --> 00:04:32,853
And like the two of you,
I also just met her.
104
00:04:33,905 --> 00:04:35,605
It's nice to meet you.
105
00:04:35,558 --> 00:04:39,124
So, sherri, tell us a little bit
about yourself.
106
00:04:38,992 --> 00:04:40,492
Well, I, uh...
107
00:04:40,455 --> 00:04:43,488
sherri spent five years
managing a law office.
108
00:04:43,379 --> 00:04:47,046
Thanks...Sherri.
109
00:04:46,908 --> 00:04:49,142
It says here
that you're fluent in Spanish.
110
00:04:49,070 --> 00:04:51,736
"It says"?
Do you think she made that up?!
111
00:04:51,645 --> 00:04:52,645
Next.
112
00:04:55,046 --> 00:04:57,380
Do you have any other skills
we should know about?
113
00:04:57,303 --> 00:05:00,036
Hey! I know what you mean
by "special skills,"
114
00:04:59,941 --> 00:05:01,776
and you are way out of line!
115
00:05:01,753 --> 00:05:04,454
Does she have any computer
skills like quicken or excel?
116
00:05:04,361 --> 00:05:06,061
Oh.
117
00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:08,613
Do you?
118
00:05:08,525 --> 00:05:09,759
Yes.
119
00:05:09,733 --> 00:05:12,134
What can't she do?
Welcome aboard.
120
00:05:15,742 --> 00:05:17,074
Irasshaimase!
121
00:05:17,045 --> 00:05:18,712
Irasshaimase!
Irasshaimase!
122
00:05:18,667 --> 00:05:20,601
Irasshaimase!
123
00:05:20,542 --> 00:05:23,242
"Irasshaimase"
is Japanese for "welcome."
124
00:05:23,149 --> 00:05:24,616
Really?
125
00:05:24,581 --> 00:05:27,347
I always thought it meant
"don't eat the eel."
126
00:05:27,250 --> 00:05:29,783
Isn't Charlie funny?
127
00:05:29,698 --> 00:05:32,131
Hysterical.
128
00:05:33,321 --> 00:05:36,188
Thank you.
129
00:05:36,087 --> 00:05:37,454
So, here we are.
130
00:05:37,423 --> 00:05:41,022
My two favorite guys,
my favorite restaurant...
131
00:05:40,888 --> 00:05:42,088
good times.
132
00:05:45,562 --> 00:05:48,994
Yep, good times.
133
00:05:48,868 --> 00:05:51,534
So, you both have
a lot in common.
134
00:05:51,442 --> 00:05:53,810
You... you both grew up
here in the city.
135
00:05:53,732 --> 00:05:54,999
What high school?
136
00:05:54,972 --> 00:05:56,238
Weston high.
137
00:05:56,211 --> 00:05:59,912
Weston... you had
an excellent shop program.
138
00:05:59,773 --> 00:06:02,038
I went to Fairmont.
139
00:06:01,965 --> 00:06:04,065
Hmm. Did you get
a lot of action?
140
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:05,034
It was all boys.
141
00:06:05,017 --> 00:06:07,284
I know.
142
00:06:08,356 --> 00:06:11,255
The California roll is great.
143
00:06:11,154 --> 00:06:12,486
If I remember correctly,
144
00:06:12,456 --> 00:06:15,157
we beat you in soccer
five years straight.
145
00:06:15,064 --> 00:06:18,430
And we stole the wheels
off your team bus
146
00:06:18,306 --> 00:06:19,773
five years straight.
147
00:06:19,737 --> 00:06:23,670
Of course, the spicy tuna
has its merits.
148
00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:25,220
Can I get some extra wasabi?
149
00:06:25,173 --> 00:06:26,139
Me too.
150
00:06:26,127 --> 00:06:27,527
I love spicy food.
151
00:06:27,494 --> 00:06:29,794
I could eat this stuff
straight.
152
00:06:29,719 --> 00:06:31,086
So can I.
153
00:06:31,945 --> 00:06:33,411
Bet I can down this first.
154
00:06:33,374 --> 00:06:34,341
You're on.
155
00:06:34,328 --> 00:06:36,395
You're acting like children.
156
00:06:36,331 --> 00:06:39,298
No, we're not.
Mark, get set, go.
157
00:06:47,459 --> 00:06:49,791
Sherri, you don't understand.
158
00:06:49,716 --> 00:06:54,582
As press secretary, I have to
expense my high-profile lunches.
159
00:06:54,388 --> 00:06:56,856
High-profile?
At taco tent?
160
00:06:56,773 --> 00:06:58,107
Sorry, no sale.
161
00:06:58,076 --> 00:07:00,310
Look, it's also come
to my attention
162
00:07:00,238 --> 00:07:02,672
that you've been hoarding
office supplies.
163
00:07:02,591 --> 00:07:05,291
I have never been so insulted.
164
00:07:05,197 --> 00:07:08,797
I categorically deny
that accusation!
165
00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:11,796
Then how do you explain this?
166
00:07:15,497 --> 00:07:17,931
That's not my hockey stick.
167
00:07:17,850 --> 00:07:20,116
Why are you giving Paul
such a hard time?
168
00:07:20,043 --> 00:07:22,711
Why do you call phone-sex
numbers from city hall?
169
00:07:22,619 --> 00:07:24,686
Carry on.
170
00:07:24,622 --> 00:07:27,022
This office
is hemorrhaging money,
171
00:07:26,942 --> 00:07:28,442
and it's going to stop.
172
00:07:28,405 --> 00:07:32,704
Let's say you forget
this whole office-supply thing.
173
00:07:32,537 --> 00:07:36,804
A "buy one, get one free"
frozen-yogurt coupon
174
00:07:36,639 --> 00:07:41,572
might mysteriously find its way
into your possession.
175
00:07:41,375 --> 00:07:44,242
You're trying to bribe me
with a free frozen yogurt?
176
00:07:44,141 --> 00:07:47,342
Well, you're gonna have to pay
for the first one.
177
00:07:56,858 --> 00:07:58,558
Done.
178
00:08:00,704 --> 00:08:02,104
I win.
179
00:08:04,264 --> 00:08:07,698
I can't feel my legs,
but I'm the winner.
180
00:08:07,572 --> 00:08:10,305
Yes, you are clearly a winner.
181
00:08:12,785 --> 00:08:14,319
Charlie, you look green.
182
00:08:14,279 --> 00:08:16,712
It's coming out of my pores.
183
00:08:16,631 --> 00:08:19,464
Irasshaimase!
Irasshaimase!
184
00:08:21,177 --> 00:08:23,878
This obviously isn't working.
Can we please get out of here?
185
00:08:23,785 --> 00:08:25,917
We can't just leave.
Charlie's sick.
186
00:08:25,850 --> 00:08:27,451
He'll be fine.
Let's go.
187
00:08:27,408 --> 00:08:30,542
I don't feel right leaving him.
We haven't even eaten yet.
188
00:08:30,429 --> 00:08:33,196
I've lost my appetite.
I'll see you.
189
00:08:33,099 --> 00:08:34,433
Tim, wait.
190
00:08:34,402 --> 00:08:36,003
Irasshaimase!
Irasshaimase!
191
00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:38,194
Shut up!
192
00:08:42,161 --> 00:08:44,827
What are you doing?
What if Stuart comes?
193
00:08:44,735 --> 00:08:47,036
900 numbers are blocked
starting tomorrow.
194
00:08:46,961 --> 00:08:49,261
He's at the office
pulling an all-nighter.
195
00:08:50,808 --> 00:08:53,808
Here's a little thank you
for getting me the job.
196
00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:56,135
Oh! Miles Davis!
Oh, man, I love this.
197
00:08:56,053 --> 00:08:58,120
Come on, let's go hang it
in my room right now.
198
00:08:58,056 --> 00:09:00,123
Oh, this is great.
199
00:09:00,059 --> 00:09:02,926
I can't believe that sherri's
blocking the phone-sex lines.
200
00:09:02,824 --> 00:09:04,757
I don't know
what she has against us.
201
00:09:04,700 --> 00:09:07,134
She gets along with Carter.
They're best friends.
202
00:09:07,053 --> 00:09:10,586
- Ooh.
- Oh, thank you so much, sherri.
203
00:09:12,712 --> 00:09:13,912
Sherri?!
204
00:09:13,888 --> 00:09:16,021
This was a terrific surprise.
205
00:09:15,955 --> 00:09:17,321
Yeah, well...
206
00:09:17,289 --> 00:09:20,155
I've wanted to
give it to you for a long time.
207
00:09:20,055 --> 00:09:23,122
I don't believe this.
208
00:09:23,012 --> 00:09:25,579
You should get out of here
209
00:09:25,492 --> 00:09:27,924
before Stuart comes home.
210
00:09:29,211 --> 00:09:32,744
I hope the noise
didn't disturb the neighbors.
211
00:09:32,613 --> 00:09:35,113
Ah, it only lasted
a few seconds.
212
00:09:35,030 --> 00:09:36,729
Poor guy.
213
00:09:36,682 --> 00:09:39,648
That's very common.
214
00:09:41,958 --> 00:09:43,825
How's it going, sir?
215
00:09:43,771 --> 00:09:48,972
Take your filthy paws off me,
you damn dirty ape!
216
00:09:48,762 --> 00:09:51,762
I'm sorry.
I don't see it.
217
00:09:51,655 --> 00:09:54,156
You should get
your eyes checked.
218
00:09:56,074 --> 00:09:57,307
Caitlin...
219
00:09:57,282 --> 00:10:00,916
I brought you cupcakes
from magnolia bakery.
220
00:10:00,780 --> 00:10:01,979
Go away.
221
00:10:01,955 --> 00:10:03,955
With sprinkles.
222
00:10:03,894 --> 00:10:07,495
Make it fast.
223
00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:09,227
I'm sorry about last night.
224
00:10:09,172 --> 00:10:12,638
Why did you have to turn it
into a competition?
225
00:10:12,510 --> 00:10:14,311
It's a guy thing.
226
00:10:14,258 --> 00:10:17,192
Why do whales beach themselves?
227
00:10:17,089 --> 00:10:18,822
Why?
228
00:10:18,773 --> 00:10:21,406
I don't know.
Ask Tim.
229
00:10:23,859 --> 00:10:25,526
Hey, Caitlin.
230
00:10:25,481 --> 00:10:26,682
Charlie.
231
00:10:26,657 --> 00:10:27,790
Tim.
232
00:10:27,770 --> 00:10:30,870
I brought you these...
233
00:10:30,758 --> 00:10:33,925
who brought you those?
234
00:10:33,810 --> 00:10:36,576
Hmm...No sprinkles.
235
00:10:39,119 --> 00:10:40,619
Listen...
236
00:10:40,582 --> 00:10:42,048
I'm sorry.
237
00:10:42,011 --> 00:10:44,779
I left last night because I felt
like I was competing for you,
238
00:10:44,683 --> 00:10:46,149
and now I'm sure of it.
239
00:10:46,112 --> 00:10:48,079
Charlie wants you.
240
00:10:48,020 --> 00:10:50,054
No, he doesn't.
241
00:10:49,991 --> 00:10:53,724
You may not see it but I can,
and it makes me uncomfortable.
242
00:10:53,584 --> 00:10:54,917
What are you saying?
243
00:10:54,888 --> 00:10:57,888
I'm crazy about you,
but I gotta be honest.
244
00:10:57,780 --> 00:11:00,913
I can't be with you
if Charlie's in the picture.
245
00:11:00,801 --> 00:11:03,801
Tim!
246
00:11:07,793 --> 00:11:09,693
Let him go.
247
00:11:13,135 --> 00:11:14,668
Trust me.
248
00:11:14,629 --> 00:11:15,963
I know.
249
00:11:18,294 --> 00:11:20,027
Well, thank you very much.
250
00:11:21,219 --> 00:11:23,818
Because of how you acted
Tim thinks you're into me.
251
00:11:23,731 --> 00:11:25,397
You and me?
That's crazy.
252
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:26,718
But he's really upset.
253
00:11:26,687 --> 00:11:28,987
Why did you have to be
competitive?
254
00:11:28,912 --> 00:11:32,145
When a Fairmont kid
challenges you
255
00:11:32,027 --> 00:11:34,394
to a wasabi-eating contest,
256
00:11:34,317 --> 00:11:36,183
you don't back down.
257
00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:39,095
And you're the one
that dragged me to that dinner.
258
00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:40,956
Now I know that was a mistake.
259
00:11:42,169 --> 00:11:44,402
I can't believe
Carter slept with a woman.
260
00:11:44,330 --> 00:11:45,964
What could have
made him change?
261
00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:47,353
Paul, it's obvious.
262
00:11:47,319 --> 00:11:52,352
I've become a heterosexual
role model for Carter.
263
00:11:52,151 --> 00:11:54,251
His gayness was no match
264
00:11:54,186 --> 00:11:57,119
for my awesome
chick-a-riffic lifestyle.
265
00:11:57,810 --> 00:12:00,377
I've turned him on to women.
266
00:12:00,290 --> 00:12:02,424
Or turned him off to men.
267
00:12:04,644 --> 00:12:06,878
Hey, guys.
What's going on?
268
00:12:06,806 --> 00:12:09,706
Paul and I
have something to tell you.
269
00:12:09,605 --> 00:12:11,238
We know about you and sherri.
270
00:12:11,194 --> 00:12:12,594
You do?
We do.
271
00:12:12,561 --> 00:12:14,094
And we think it's great.
272
00:12:14,055 --> 00:12:15,289
That is such a relief.
273
00:12:15,263 --> 00:12:17,862
I was confused about
how to handle the situation.
274
00:12:17,774 --> 00:12:21,007
Of course.
I mean, this is so new to you.
275
00:12:20,890 --> 00:12:22,157
I've tried this before.
276
00:12:22,130 --> 00:12:24,330
I couldn't get her
into the right position.
277
00:12:27,471 --> 00:12:30,571
Well, these things take time,
Carter.
278
00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:33,092
You gotta walk before you run.
279
00:12:33,001 --> 00:12:35,635
Don't say anything
to anybody else about it, okay?
280
00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:37,713
I don't want to jeopardize
sherri's job.
281
00:12:37,643 --> 00:12:40,444
Your secret about sleeping
with sherri is safe with us.
282
00:12:40,346 --> 00:12:41,313
Thanks.
283
00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:42,766
What?
284
00:12:42,730 --> 00:12:45,897
W-wait a minute.
285
00:12:45,782 --> 00:12:48,482
You guys think
I'm sleeping with sherri?
286
00:12:48,389 --> 00:12:50,389
No, no, no.
Sherri is my...
287
00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:55,221
yeah, yeah, you got me.
288
00:12:55,096 --> 00:12:58,597
You can't pull one over on us,
Carter.
289
00:12:58,467 --> 00:13:02,200
No, you can't.
You guys are way too sharp.
290
00:13:04,474 --> 00:13:06,608
Hi, I'm not sure
I'm in the right place.
291
00:13:06,541 --> 00:13:08,508
I was contacted
by a chip scarsdale,
292
00:13:08,448 --> 00:13:09,682
who wanted me to lecture
293
00:13:09,657 --> 00:13:11,891
on Roman art
and its cultural significance.
294
00:13:11,819 --> 00:13:15,285
Chip's right over there.
295
00:13:17,191 --> 00:13:20,258
Tim, we have to talk.
296
00:13:20,148 --> 00:13:23,415
You're wrong about me.
She's my friend, and that's it.
297
00:13:23,296 --> 00:13:25,995
How come I always feel like
you're competing against me?
298
00:13:25,902 --> 00:13:27,835
Because I don't like
being shown up.
299
00:13:27,777 --> 00:13:30,277
You come into city hall
and you impress everyone
300
00:13:30,193 --> 00:13:32,160
with your money
and your intelligence
301
00:13:32,101 --> 00:13:34,201
and your knowledge
of Portuguese marble.
302
00:13:34,136 --> 00:13:37,503
No, it's Italian alabaster.
There's a huge difference.
303
00:13:37,379 --> 00:13:40,412
You just can't not do that,
can you?
304
00:13:40,304 --> 00:13:41,571
Sorry.
305
00:13:41,542 --> 00:13:44,642
It's just that
when I feel threatened,
306
00:13:44,530 --> 00:13:47,031
I tend to get
a little pedantic.
307
00:13:48,250 --> 00:13:51,350
It's just not easy for me
to date Caitlin
308
00:13:51,239 --> 00:13:55,205
when she's friends with
this cool guy with great hair.
309
00:13:56,993 --> 00:13:59,027
My secret?
310
00:13:58,964 --> 00:14:02,031
Alcohol-free gel.
311
00:14:01,921 --> 00:14:03,188
It gives enough hold?
312
00:14:03,161 --> 00:14:07,095
You tell me.
313
00:14:06,944 --> 00:14:08,077
The point is,
314
00:14:08,057 --> 00:14:10,923
Caitlin wants to be with you
not me.
315
00:14:10,823 --> 00:14:12,522
Really?
Yes.
316
00:14:12,476 --> 00:14:13,676
I'm not the one
317
00:14:13,651 --> 00:14:15,618
she wants marriage
and kids with.
318
00:14:15,559 --> 00:14:16,892
She really said that?
319
00:14:16,862 --> 00:14:19,730
You, with the four boys,
the house in Connecticut.
320
00:14:19,628 --> 00:14:21,727
Wow.
321
00:14:21,663 --> 00:14:24,263
Yeah, she's a planner.
322
00:14:26,749 --> 00:14:32,283
I just don't think it's saying
what I want it to say.
323
00:14:32,059 --> 00:14:35,059
Decades from now, when people
look at this sculpture,
324
00:14:34,951 --> 00:14:37,318
I want them to see a leader,
a visionary,
325
00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:43,407
a man...Who would triumph
in a grueling chariot race.
326
00:14:43,154 --> 00:14:45,254
I don't think I follow.
327
00:14:45,188 --> 00:14:46,621
Come into my office.
328
00:14:46,586 --> 00:14:49,653
We're going to watch
a little biblical epic.
329
00:14:51,769 --> 00:14:54,003
Hey, Carter.
Is Caitlin in yet?
330
00:14:53,931 --> 00:14:55,330
No. Didn't you hear?
331
00:14:55,298 --> 00:14:57,131
Tim broke up with her
last night.
332
00:14:57,077 --> 00:14:58,044
What?
333
00:14:58,031 --> 00:14:59,398
They were going too fast.
334
00:14:59,367 --> 00:15:00,533
How's she taking it?
335
00:15:00,512 --> 00:15:02,111
I think she'll be okay.
336
00:15:02,069 --> 00:15:05,735
I told her to put it behind her
and get a fresh start.
337
00:15:11,892 --> 00:15:14,059
That's not what I had in mind.
338
00:15:13,991 --> 00:15:16,157
Aren't you gonna say something
about my hair?
339
00:15:16,088 --> 00:15:19,088
Why, did you do
something different with it?
340
00:15:18,981 --> 00:15:20,415
Oh, this is just great!
341
00:15:20,381 --> 00:15:21,814
First Tim dumps me,
342
00:15:21,779 --> 00:15:24,413
and now I look like
I should be in aerosmith.
343
00:15:26,071 --> 00:15:27,537
I don't know what went wrong.
344
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:32,134
You have to learn to communicate
with your stylist.
345
00:15:32,020 --> 00:15:34,520
I'm talking about Tim.
346
00:15:34,437 --> 00:15:36,170
He got this crazy idea
347
00:15:36,121 --> 00:15:38,388
that I'm dying to get married
and have kids.
348
00:15:38,316 --> 00:15:40,049
I mean,
where did that come from?
349
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,633
Well, this is a funny story.
350
00:15:43,847 --> 00:15:46,814
Last night
Tim and I were having drinks,
351
00:15:46,708 --> 00:15:49,842
and I-I may have mentioned
marriage and kids.
352
00:15:49,728 --> 00:15:51,261
What about the house
in Vermont?
353
00:15:51,222 --> 00:15:53,456
That wasn't me.
I said Connecticut.
354
00:15:53,384 --> 00:15:57,284
You can't say stuff like that
to a guy I just started dating!
355
00:15:57,136 --> 00:15:59,169
It'll scare him off!
356
00:15:59,106 --> 00:16:01,706
Carter, stop staring
at my hair!
357
00:16:05,878 --> 00:16:08,812
So...
358
00:16:08,707 --> 00:16:12,173
How'd you like
your first straight evening out?
359
00:16:12,045 --> 00:16:15,345
All-you-can-eat chicken wings
and a lap dance for only $45.
360
00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:16,525
What's not to like?
361
00:16:16,496 --> 00:16:19,162
This is just the beginning.
362
00:16:19,071 --> 00:16:20,338
Tomorrow night...
363
00:16:20,311 --> 00:16:24,044
a calendar signing
for the women of wrestling.
364
00:16:23,903 --> 00:16:27,269
Those broads are totally hot.
365
00:16:28,926 --> 00:16:29,992
What do you think?
366
00:16:29,974 --> 00:16:32,141
About what?
367
00:16:32,073 --> 00:16:33,673
Being straight.
368
00:16:33,632 --> 00:16:37,331
Think you might be interested
in signing up full-time?
369
00:16:37,192 --> 00:16:38,658
I-I'm not sure.
370
00:16:38,622 --> 00:16:40,822
Tell you what...
371
00:16:40,752 --> 00:16:43,085
Let's make a list
372
00:16:43,010 --> 00:16:47,509
of the pros and cons
of being gay.
373
00:16:47,333 --> 00:16:49,232
Okay.
374
00:16:49,177 --> 00:16:51,277
Pro...
375
00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:54,645
a keen sense of style.
376
00:16:56,139 --> 00:17:01,039
Con... sleeping with men.
377
00:17:00,843 --> 00:17:03,643
Pro...
378
00:17:03,546 --> 00:17:06,345
women don't mind taking clothes
off in front of you.
379
00:17:06,248 --> 00:17:08,248
Con...
sleeping...
380
00:17:08,187 --> 00:17:09,788
okay, okay, look.
381
00:17:09,746 --> 00:17:11,346
Stuart...
382
00:17:11,303 --> 00:17:13,870
I can't take this.
383
00:17:13,784 --> 00:17:16,983
This is all a misunderstanding.
Sherri is my sister.
384
00:17:16,866 --> 00:17:18,000
Oh.
385
00:17:17,979 --> 00:17:20,513
People don't turn straight
overnight.
386
00:17:20,427 --> 00:17:21,893
I'm a gay man.
387
00:17:21,858 --> 00:17:23,125
That's who I am.
388
00:17:23,098 --> 00:17:24,698
That's what
I'm comfortable with.
389
00:17:24,655 --> 00:17:27,189
Look, I know I should've told
you about sherri
390
00:17:27,103 --> 00:17:28,336
at the very beginning,
391
00:17:28,311 --> 00:17:31,144
but let's try to be honest
with each other.
392
00:17:31,045 --> 00:17:32,512
Okay.
393
00:17:32,476 --> 00:17:34,443
Okay.
Okay.
394
00:17:36,767 --> 00:17:40,668
And now that we're
being honest...
395
00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:42,985
Have you ever seen Caitlin
take her clothes off?
396
00:17:42,904 --> 00:17:45,170
Yes, I have.
397
00:17:45,097 --> 00:17:47,963
What's she look like naked?
398
00:17:47,863 --> 00:17:49,929
Honestly?
399
00:17:51,073 --> 00:17:54,340
You'll never know.
400
00:18:03,059 --> 00:18:05,092
What are you doing here?
401
00:18:05,030 --> 00:18:06,429
Caitlin told me to meet her.
402
00:18:06,396 --> 00:18:07,697
Same thing.
403
00:18:07,668 --> 00:18:09,468
Why are women so confusing?
404
00:18:09,416 --> 00:18:10,617
I don't know.
405
00:18:10,593 --> 00:18:13,526
Why do whales beach themselves?
406
00:18:13,423 --> 00:18:16,022
Actually, there are
two competing theories.
407
00:18:15,933 --> 00:18:17,701
Not now.
408
00:18:17,651 --> 00:18:19,284
What's going on?
409
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:22,473
Sit down.
410
00:18:22,356 --> 00:18:23,322
Yes?
411
00:18:23,310 --> 00:18:25,176
What happened to your hair?
412
00:18:25,121 --> 00:18:27,354
The two of you happened
to my hair,
413
00:18:27,282 --> 00:18:30,316
and right now we're gonna
set the record straight.
414
00:18:30,207 --> 00:18:33,808
You break up with me based on
information from this idiot?
415
00:18:38,092 --> 00:18:40,359
She's got a point.
416
00:18:40,285 --> 00:18:43,818
And you... where do you get off
playing couples counselor?
417
00:18:43,687 --> 00:18:45,287
I was just trying to help.
418
00:18:45,246 --> 00:18:48,545
What if a girlfriend started
about marriage and babies?
419
00:18:48,423 --> 00:18:51,924
Well, I've always had good luck
with faking my own death.
420
00:18:54,178 --> 00:18:58,278
So, Caitlin, you don't want
any of those things?
421
00:18:58,120 --> 00:18:59,953
Someday... not right now.
422
00:19:00,886 --> 00:19:02,786
We have something special,
423
00:19:02,729 --> 00:19:04,863
and I'd just like to see
where it goes.
424
00:19:04,796 --> 00:19:06,529
You're right.
425
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:10,681
I should have never listened
to this idiot.
426
00:19:10,518 --> 00:19:11,985
Hey.
427
00:19:11,950 --> 00:19:13,449
She called you an idiot.
428
00:19:13,411 --> 00:19:16,011
It's different.
She knows me.
429
00:19:17,491 --> 00:19:19,059
I'm just repeating what she...
430
00:19:19,018 --> 00:19:19,985
shut up!
431
00:19:19,972 --> 00:19:21,405
Both of you, shut up!
432
00:19:21,370 --> 00:19:23,504
Do you want to be my boyfriend?
433
00:19:23,437 --> 00:19:25,404
Yes, please.
434
00:19:25,344 --> 00:19:27,210
All right.
You're my boyfriend.
435
00:19:27,156 --> 00:19:29,590
And you?
You're my friend friend.
436
00:19:29,509 --> 00:19:30,476
Got it?
437
00:19:30,463 --> 00:19:31,430
Yeah.
Yeah.
438
00:19:31,416 --> 00:19:32,383
Got it.
439
00:19:32,370 --> 00:19:34,736
You, come with me.
440
00:19:36,471 --> 00:19:37,438
What should I do?
441
00:19:37,425 --> 00:19:38,791
You just sit there
442
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,060
and think about what you did.
443
00:19:47,248 --> 00:19:50,948
She's not the boss of me.
444
00:20:08,675 --> 00:20:09,842
Oh, hey, Charlie.
445
00:20:11,441 --> 00:20:14,708
Oh, my God!
Look who it is!
446
00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:17,221
Oh! I've been a fan...
447
00:20:17,131 --> 00:20:20,465
oh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, sir.
448
00:20:20,342 --> 00:20:23,642
I thought
you were charlton heston.
449
00:20:23,521 --> 00:20:28,088
That's all right, Paul.
I get that all the time.
450
00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:29,877
Sit, ubu, sit. Good dog.
451
00:21:29,927 --> 00:21:34,477
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