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1
00:00:01,868 --> 00:00:05,701
The new deputy mayor...
late on his first day.
2
00:00:05,556 --> 00:00:07,523
Cut him some slack.
This city's a mess.
3
00:00:07,463 --> 00:00:09,530
Anyone could be late
with the traffic jams,
4
00:00:09,466 --> 00:00:11,066
slow buses,
broken-down subways.
5
00:00:11,024 --> 00:00:12,724
If only there were
a group of people
6
00:00:12,677 --> 00:00:14,445
whose job it was
to fix those things.
7
00:00:14,394 --> 00:00:16,028
I'll give him five minutes,
8
00:00:15,984 --> 00:00:18,018
then I'm the new deputy mayor.
9
00:00:17,956 --> 00:00:19,422
Got my speech all ready.
10
00:00:19,387 --> 00:00:22,420
That's your opening...
"hello, single ladies"?
11
00:00:22,311 --> 00:00:25,612
Carter, he's got to show.
12
00:00:25,491 --> 00:00:27,691
Ever since Mike left,
I have been doing two jobs.
13
00:00:27,622 --> 00:00:30,188
I don't sleep, I spend every
waking minute in this office,
14
00:00:30,101 --> 00:00:32,335
I look terrible.
You look great.
15
00:00:32,264 --> 00:00:33,663
I know...
16
00:00:33,631 --> 00:00:36,731
But the only straight guys
that see it are Stuart and Paul.
17
00:00:36,619 --> 00:00:37,986
Don't worry.
18
00:00:37,955 --> 00:00:40,188
He'll be here,
and Paul can stall the press.
19
00:00:40,118 --> 00:00:43,283
John Travolta was in
"Pulp Fiction" with ving rhames.
20
00:00:43,169 --> 00:00:45,236
Ving rhames was
in "mission: Impossible"
21
00:00:45,172 --> 00:00:46,572
with tom cruise.
22
00:00:46,540 --> 00:00:49,707
Tom cruise was in "a few
good men" with...Kevin bacon.
23
00:00:51,277 --> 00:00:52,610
Am I wrong?
24
00:00:52,580 --> 00:00:54,881
Paul! Paul! Paul!
25
00:00:54,806 --> 00:00:57,639
We're familiar with Crawford's
success in Washington.
26
00:00:57,541 --> 00:01:00,041
We're also familiar
with his checkered past.
27
00:00:59,957 --> 00:01:03,091
I can't help but wonder
if you're hiding something.
28
00:01:02,978 --> 00:01:07,511
Look, the only reason thatCharlie Crawford isn't here
29
00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:10,000
is becausehe's at a high-level meeting.
30
00:01:09,909 --> 00:01:12,876
Charlie, what did you say
your last name was again?
31
00:01:12,770 --> 00:01:16,504
Whoa...
let's not rush things.
32
00:01:16,364 --> 00:01:19,297
Seriously, I think they're
talking about you on the tv.
33
00:01:20,656 --> 00:01:23,189
I assure you...
34
00:01:23,103 --> 00:01:25,504
Charlie Crawfordis in the building.
35
00:01:25,425 --> 00:01:26,459
Damn it.
36
00:01:26,443 --> 00:01:29,510
I'm still on Stockholm time.
37
00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:31,367
Inga, I'm sorry.
I have to run.
38
00:01:32,548 --> 00:01:34,348
I hope you understand.
39
00:01:34,296 --> 00:01:35,529
No, it's fine.
40
00:01:35,504 --> 00:01:37,571
Thank you
for flying air Sweden.
41
00:01:37,507 --> 00:01:42,075
Thanks for the upgrade.
42
00:02:05,742 --> 00:02:07,909
He's gonna be here, right?
43
00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:10,340
Carter, you told Charlie
it was 10:00 A.M.?
44
00:02:10,256 --> 00:02:11,523
In New York?
45
00:02:11,496 --> 00:02:12,530
Yes.
46
00:02:12,514 --> 00:02:14,614
Can I be deputy mayor now?
47
00:02:14,550 --> 00:02:15,649
No!
No!
48
00:02:15,630 --> 00:02:18,064
Hi... Charlie Crawford.
49
00:02:17,983 --> 00:02:21,416
Sorry I'm late...
really sorry.
50
00:02:21,289 --> 00:02:23,656
I assume you have
a good excuse?
51
00:02:23,579 --> 00:02:25,545
I reall don't think
we should get into it.
52
00:02:25,487 --> 00:02:27,787
I really think we should.
53
00:02:27,712 --> 00:02:29,945
Last night flying home
from Stockholm...
54
00:02:29,874 --> 00:02:31,008
oh, don't tell me...
55
00:02:30,987 --> 00:02:32,454
you met some stewardess
56
00:02:32,418 --> 00:02:34,750
and ended up going back
to her hotel.
57
00:02:37,092 --> 00:02:39,624
Oh, God!
58
00:02:39,540 --> 00:02:44,107
And that how I learned
that I was allergic to beets.
59
00:02:43,928 --> 00:02:45,294
Okay?
60
00:02:45,263 --> 00:02:46,530
O-okay...
61
00:02:46,503 --> 00:02:47,537
Oh, thank God.
62
00:02:47,521 --> 00:02:49,287
Okay, ladies and gentlemen,
63
00:02:49,238 --> 00:02:52,838
presenting the new deputy mayor
for the city of New York,
64
00:02:52,704 --> 00:02:54,403
Charlie Crawford.
65
00:02:54,357 --> 00:02:55,457
Thank you, Paul.
66
00:02:55,438 --> 00:02:57,472
Hello, I'm Charlie Crawford,
67
00:02:57,410 --> 00:03:00,310
and I'm very excited
to be here at city hall.
68
00:03:00,207 --> 00:03:01,874
To come home to where I grew up
69
00:03:01,829 --> 00:03:04,629
and work with such a fine mayor
really means a lot to me.
70
00:03:04,531 --> 00:03:06,631
I'm sure you all have
a lot of questions.
71
00:03:06,567 --> 00:03:08,733
Why were you late?
72
00:03:08,665 --> 00:03:11,598
Well, let's just say my delay
was...Airline related.
73
00:03:11,494 --> 00:03:13,628
Oh, I'd like to state
for the record
74
00:03:13,561 --> 00:03:16,561
that I'd gladly flyair Sweden again...
75
00:03:16,455 --> 00:03:18,987
maybe Friday nightaround 7:00?
76
00:03:18,903 --> 00:03:21,669
Charlie, what about the rumor
that you once considered
77
00:03:21,574 --> 00:03:24,107
running a senate campaign
for actor Alec Baldwin?
78
00:03:24,022 --> 00:03:25,189
That was just talk
79
00:03:25,166 --> 00:03:27,333
over quite a few beers
one night.
80
00:03:27,264 --> 00:03:28,998
When I woke up
the next morning,
81
00:03:28,951 --> 00:03:31,617
I realized I had actually
been talking to Billy Baldwin.
82
00:03:33,147 --> 00:03:35,714
Those Baldwin brothers
should wear numbered shirts.
83
00:03:36,898 --> 00:03:39,532
We have plenty of time
to get to know each other,
84
00:03:39,443 --> 00:03:40,742
and I look forward to that,
85
00:03:40,714 --> 00:03:42,714
but right now,
I got a lot of work to do.
86
00:03:42,654 --> 00:03:44,687
So Paul will take it from here.
Thank you.
87
00:03:44,625 --> 00:03:46,026
Paul! Paul! Paul!
88
00:03:45,992 --> 00:03:48,692
Please, please,
you heard the man...
89
00:03:48,599 --> 00:03:51,833
he thought he was talking
to Alec Baldwin...
90
00:03:51,716 --> 00:03:55,249
Who was in "glengarry Glen Ross"
with Jack lemmon,
91
00:03:55,117 --> 00:03:57,717
who was in "jfk" with...
Kevin bacon!
92
00:03:57,629 --> 00:04:00,763
Didn't I tell you guys
he'd get here and he'd be great?
93
00:04:00,649 --> 00:04:02,549
You were great.
Thank you.
94
00:04:02,493 --> 00:04:04,827
Really, really great.
95
00:04:04,752 --> 00:04:06,518
All right, let's cut the bull.
96
00:04:06,468 --> 00:04:08,301
I know what you're all about...
97
00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:10,316
a flashy smile,
a clever sound bite,
98
00:04:10,252 --> 00:04:11,519
and everyone loves you.
99
00:04:11,492 --> 00:04:14,159
That's not gonna work
around here, mister.
100
00:04:14,067 --> 00:04:16,100
You seem nicer
in your e-mail.
101
00:04:16,039 --> 00:04:17,072
I a nicer,
102
00:04:17,056 --> 00:04:19,090
but I have hundreds
of tollbooth workers
103
00:04:19,027 --> 00:04:21,127
about to go on strike,
so you'll excuse me
104
00:04:21,063 --> 00:04:23,363
if I don't offer you
a headset and warm towel.
105
00:04:23,288 --> 00:04:24,654
All I'm saying is,
106
00:04:24,624 --> 00:04:27,323
you're the new quarterback,
so don't drop the ball.
107
00:04:27,231 --> 00:04:28,297
You know sports?
108
00:04:28,280 --> 00:04:31,413
Yes! I also drink beer
and play poker.
109
00:04:31,301 --> 00:04:35,167
I'm just a tattoo away
from being your dream girl.
110
00:04:35,021 --> 00:04:37,254
You know, usually
I have to date a woman
111
00:04:37,183 --> 00:04:39,016
befo she treats me this way.
112
00:04:38,963 --> 00:04:41,963
And you're funny, too...
super.
113
00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:45,261
I recommended you to the mayor
for this job
114
00:04:45,196 --> 00:04:47,595
because I know you're good
and I heard you changed.
115
00:04:47,516 --> 00:04:49,783
I have changed.
116
00:04:49,710 --> 00:04:51,109
For God's sake,
117
00:04:51,077 --> 00:04:53,677
you're wearing air Sweden wings
on your shirt!
118
00:04:53,590 --> 00:04:55,289
Hey!
119
00:04:55,243 --> 00:04:59,009
I earned these.
120
00:04:58,867 --> 00:05:01,967
Mr. mayor?
121
00:05:01,856 --> 00:05:03,956
Ooh! Hi.
Sit down, sit down.
122
00:05:03,891 --> 00:05:06,490
Sir, about being late
this morning...
123
00:05:06,402 --> 00:05:09,770
I'm sorry, I'm having trouble
waking up these days.
124
00:05:09,646 --> 00:05:12,312
I moved the alarm clock
across the room.
125
00:05:12,221 --> 00:05:14,454
You know...
get up, turn it off?
126
00:05:14,384 --> 00:05:17,684
But after two days,
I just moved my bed over there.
127
00:05:17,563 --> 00:05:19,530
I see from your bio
128
00:05:19,471 --> 00:05:23,004
that you're "relaxed,
easygoing,
129
00:05:22,872 --> 00:05:26,472
and comfortable
at work or play."
130
00:05:26,337 --> 00:05:29,272
Sir, that's
the j. Crew catalog.
131
00:05:29,167 --> 00:05:30,534
Oh, yeah, here it is.
132
00:05:30,503 --> 00:05:33,837
I am impressed with your work
as a political strategist.
133
00:05:33,715 --> 00:05:35,749
But I have also read
the tabloids,
134
00:05:35,686 --> 00:05:38,353
and I am aware
of your past transgressions...
135
00:05:38,262 --> 00:05:41,028
the drinking, the carousing,
the honky-tonking.
136
00:05:40,932 --> 00:05:42,665
I'd like to think
137
00:05:42,617 --> 00:05:46,717
I did more tomcatting
than honky-tonking.
138
00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:47,927
Well, I am sure
139
00:05:47,896 --> 00:05:50,763
you're the right man
for the job.
140
00:05:50,662 --> 00:05:53,062
My former deputy mayor,
Mike, and I
141
00:05:52,983 --> 00:05:54,449
had a special relationship
142
00:05:54,413 --> 00:05:56,613
which would be difficult
to duplicate,
143
00:05:56,544 --> 00:05:58,610
but I'm willing
to give it a shot.
144
00:05:59,691 --> 00:06:01,891
Look, this just isn't
working out.
145
00:06:03,412 --> 00:06:05,511
We could just give you
a severance package
146
00:06:05,446 --> 00:06:06,713
and send you on your way.
147
00:06:06,687 --> 00:06:08,553
How long have you been
working here?
148
00:06:08,499 --> 00:06:10,899
About 11 minutes.
149
00:06:10,820 --> 00:06:12,453
Well, based on
our time together,
150
00:06:12,410 --> 00:06:14,843
I'd be happy to write you
a letter of recommendation.
151
00:06:14,763 --> 00:06:16,095
I appreciate that,
152
00:06:16,066 --> 00:06:18,299
but I don't think
there's anyone left to read it.
153
00:06:18,228 --> 00:06:20,762
I burned a lot of Bridges
in Washington...
154
00:06:20,676 --> 00:06:23,510
And one car.
155
00:06:23,412 --> 00:06:26,412
This is my last shot.
156
00:06:26,305 --> 00:06:28,604
Perhaps it would be
easier for me
157
00:06:28,530 --> 00:06:29,930
if I called you Mike.
158
00:06:29,897 --> 00:06:32,630
I'd like to start
with a clean slate, sir,
159
00:06:32,536 --> 00:06:33,936
so if you don't mind,
160
00:06:33,904 --> 00:06:36,303
I'd prefer
if you called me Charlie.
161
00:06:36,224 --> 00:06:38,825
I appreciate your candor, Mike.
162
00:06:40,422 --> 00:06:41,988
Good news, sir...
163
00:06:41,947 --> 00:06:44,181
I spoke to the lawyer
representing the workers.
164
00:06:44,109 --> 00:06:46,909
They have agreed terms.
She's coming in this afternoon.
165
00:06:46,812 --> 00:06:49,146
Caitlin, you are doing
a fantastic job!
166
00:06:49,069 --> 00:06:51,769
Thank you, sir.
That means a lot to me.
167
00:06:54,252 --> 00:06:59,085
It's all about making people
feel special...Mike.
168
00:07:01,756 --> 00:07:03,156
Who's this guy think he is?!
169
00:07:03,124 --> 00:07:05,524
First he hangs me out to dry
at the press conference.
170
00:07:05,444 --> 00:07:07,277
Now he's late
to his own staff meeting.
171
00:07:07,225 --> 00:07:09,724
We got to make it clear
who's running this show!
172
00:07:09,641 --> 00:07:11,407
We can't let him take
any of our turf!
173
00:07:11,357 --> 00:07:14,825
I keep forgetting...
are we the jets or the sharks?
174
00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:18,468
Just count me out
of your petty little games.
175
00:07:18,385 --> 00:07:20,385
Charlie is obviously
going to look to me
176
00:07:20,324 --> 00:07:21,557
for guidance and counsel,
177
00:07:21,533 --> 00:07:23,366
and Carter's gonna be there
for him.
178
00:07:23,313 --> 00:07:26,514
I guess it's just me and Paul
standing against the new guy.
179
00:07:26,398 --> 00:07:28,365
You and me, buddy...
united we stand,
180
00:07:28,305 --> 00:07:30,638
divided we f...
181
00:07:30,562 --> 00:07:33,196
hiya, Charlie!
How are you?!
182
00:07:33,106 --> 00:07:36,106
Let's make that
a one-time thing.
183
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,266
Okay, before we start,
184
00:07:37,239 --> 00:07:39,473
I thought we could spend
a little time
185
00:07:39,402 --> 00:07:40,968
getting to know each other.
186
00:07:40,927 --> 00:07:42,161
Caitlin sent me a memo
187
00:07:42,135 --> 00:07:43,935
to get me up to speed
on you guys.
188
00:07:43,885 --> 00:07:45,185
Carter...
189
00:07:45,156 --> 00:07:47,023
It says here you've done
a lot of great work
190
00:07:46,969 --> 00:07:48,336
on community programs.
191
00:07:48,305 --> 00:07:50,637
I don't, uh, think of it
as work.
192
00:07:50,562 --> 00:07:52,995
I think of it
as more of a calling.
193
00:07:52,915 --> 00:07:55,182
In a word,
I'm a helper, a doer.
194
00:07:55,108 --> 00:07:58,042
I can't see spending my life
in any other way.
195
00:07:57,939 --> 00:08:00,805
It also says you don't mind
talking about it.
196
00:08:01,816 --> 00:08:02,916
Now, Paul...
197
00:08:02,898 --> 00:08:06,098
okay, enough
of this witch hunt!
198
00:08:05,982 --> 00:08:08,715
Look, every reporter in town
is pestering me
199
00:08:08,621 --> 00:08:10,921
to get the first interview
with you.
200
00:08:10,848 --> 00:08:13,248
Okay, what do you want to do?
201
00:08:13,168 --> 00:08:14,301
I-I'm sorry.
202
00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:17,213
I'm not accustomed
to being listened to.
203
00:08:17,111 --> 00:08:18,444
Tell you what...
204
00:08:18,414 --> 00:08:19,747
you pick the reporter.
205
00:08:19,718 --> 00:08:22,684
You're the press secretary.
It's your domain.
206
00:08:22,580 --> 00:08:23,680
Yes, it is.
207
00:08:23,661 --> 00:08:25,528
It's my domain.
208
00:08:25,473 --> 00:08:29,173
I have a domain.
209
00:08:29,034 --> 00:08:30,467
Stuart, it says here
210
00:08:30,432 --> 00:08:33,432
you're involved in the war
on pornography.
211
00:08:35,361 --> 00:08:37,495
You're reading that wrong.
212
00:08:37,428 --> 00:08:40,929
It's the war
on the war on pornography.
213
00:08:40,799 --> 00:08:43,432
I thought that was a typo.
214
00:08:48,175 --> 00:08:49,475
Charlie!
215
00:08:49,447 --> 00:08:51,313
You're not gonna yell at me
again?
216
00:08:51,260 --> 00:08:53,826
'Cause I got to warn you...
I'm a crier.
217
00:08:53,739 --> 00:08:56,240
I was a little harsh
this morning, but I'm happy now.
218
00:08:56,155 --> 00:08:58,255
The toll collectors
are going back to work.
219
00:08:58,189 --> 00:09:00,757
I'm going to sign the contracts.
Want to come with me?
220
00:09:00,670 --> 00:09:02,570
Can I bring a date?
221
00:09:02,514 --> 00:09:06,181
You're right...
I might meet someone there.
222
00:09:06,044 --> 00:09:08,044
I'm glad we were able to come
to an agreement.
223
00:09:07,983 --> 00:09:11,484
If the collectors picketed,
the city would be gridlocked.
224
00:09:11,354 --> 00:09:13,054
I'd hate to have to look down
225
00:09:13,007 --> 00:09:14,874
and see that
from my helicopter.
226
00:09:16,250 --> 00:09:19,183
Well, I guess
all I need is a pen.
227
00:09:22,863 --> 00:09:25,197
I don't believe it!
228
00:09:25,121 --> 00:09:26,754
What are you doing here?
229
00:09:26,710 --> 00:09:29,111
I'm the mayor.
I've been here the whole time.
230
00:09:29,032 --> 00:09:31,199
I thought
I would never see you again,
231
00:09:31,130 --> 00:09:32,563
and I wish I hadn't.
232
00:09:32,528 --> 00:09:35,695
You're egotistical, insensitive,
and you know what else?
233
00:09:36,503 --> 00:09:37,870
You're a selfish lover!
234
00:09:37,839 --> 00:09:40,772
Now, that crosses the line!
235
00:09:40,669 --> 00:09:42,035
Excuse me!
236
00:09:42,004 --> 00:09:44,137
My pen!
237
00:09:46,010 --> 00:09:48,510
We used to date.
238
00:09:49,635 --> 00:09:52,868
Apparently, it ended poorly.
239
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:57,768
What is wrong with that woman?!
240
00:09:57,717 --> 00:10:00,951
And how does she know
what I'm like in bed?
241
00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:04,001
Actually, sir,
she was talking about me.
242
00:10:03,886 --> 00:10:07,120
Miss Calvin and I
sort of have a history.
243
00:10:07,002 --> 00:10:09,468
Oh, you're the selfish lover.
244
00:10:09,387 --> 00:10:11,253
A word of advice, son...
245
00:10:11,198 --> 00:10:14,265
there is no "I"
in "orgasm."
246
00:10:16,477 --> 00:10:18,110
Guys, we have a problem here.
247
00:10:18,067 --> 00:10:20,634
Tomorrow the toll collectors
are planning to block
248
00:10:20,547 --> 00:10:22,114
all the Bridges and tunnels.
249
00:10:22,073 --> 00:10:24,273
Mike would never
have let this happen.
250
00:10:24,203 --> 00:10:26,736
Not you, Mike...
251
00:10:26,652 --> 00:10:28,752
Mike Mike.
252
00:10:28,686 --> 00:10:31,453
Nice work... thanks to you,
by noon tomorrow,
253
00:10:31,357 --> 00:10:34,290
8 million people
are gonna be stuck in Manhattan.
254
00:10:34,187 --> 00:10:35,454
You are so negative.
255
00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:38,293
You see 8 million people
trapped on an island.
256
00:10:38,193 --> 00:10:40,727
I see the opportunity
for a giant mixer.
257
00:10:40,641 --> 00:10:42,142
I know this is serious.
258
00:10:42,104 --> 00:10:44,904
This is not the way
I wanted to start here.
259
00:10:44,807 --> 00:10:46,974
I'll do whatever I have to
to fix this.
260
00:10:46,905 --> 00:10:48,272
You've got to talk to Joan.
261
00:10:48,241 --> 00:10:50,507
If I talk to this woman,
she's gonna flip out.
262
00:10:50,434 --> 00:10:53,001
She'll get that crazy look
where her eyes are daggers
263
00:10:52,915 --> 00:10:54,281
and she wants
to bore a hole through...
264
00:10:54,250 --> 00:10:56,250
that's it!
265
00:10:56,189 --> 00:10:57,556
I am calling her right now,
266
00:10:57,525 --> 00:11:00,124
and you two are gonna
work this out... end of story.
267
00:11:00,037 --> 00:11:02,337
What if she wants
to sleep with me?
268
00:11:02,262 --> 00:11:04,728
She looked like
she wanted to knock you down
269
00:11:04,647 --> 00:11:05,880
and rip your eyes out.
270
00:11:05,855 --> 00:11:08,122
That's usually how it starts.
271
00:11:09,988 --> 00:11:11,421
Paul...
272
00:11:11,388 --> 00:11:13,454
I need you to set up
a press conference
273
00:11:13,391 --> 00:11:15,858
to announce the mayor's new plan
to end poverty.
274
00:11:15,775 --> 00:11:17,041
Oh, please.
275
00:11:17,015 --> 00:11:19,616
I don't have time
for your petty, little requests.
276
00:11:19,527 --> 00:11:22,094
I got to pick a reporter
to talk to the new boss.
277
00:11:22,007 --> 00:11:23,207
See, that's my domain.
278
00:11:23,184 --> 00:11:24,317
Ugh!
279
00:11:24,296 --> 00:11:26,230
My domain.
280
00:11:26,173 --> 00:11:30,240
Now, what did Charlie say
was your domain, hmm?
281
00:11:30,083 --> 00:11:32,716
Oh, that's right...
nothing.
282
00:11:32,627 --> 00:11:35,193
Sooner or later, Charlie
will come to me for help.
283
00:11:35,106 --> 00:11:37,173
A moment of crisis
will present itself,
284
00:11:37,110 --> 00:11:38,744
and then...
It's Carter time.
285
00:11:38,701 --> 00:11:41,067
Excuse me, Paul.
286
00:11:40,989 --> 00:11:42,456
Let me ask you...
287
00:11:42,420 --> 00:11:43,853
why do you think
288
00:11:43,819 --> 00:11:45,685
Charlie would let you
make a decision?
289
00:11:45,630 --> 00:11:48,398
Why would he let me
make a decision?
290
00:11:49,478 --> 00:11:52,611
Why would he let me
make a decision?
291
00:11:52,499 --> 00:11:53,632
Oh, my God!
292
00:11:53,612 --> 00:11:56,211
He's setting me up to fail
so he can dump me,
293
00:11:56,123 --> 00:11:57,157
bring in his guy!
294
00:11:57,141 --> 00:11:59,008
He's got a guy?
295
00:11:58,953 --> 00:12:01,986
They've all got guys!
And you know where his guy is?!
296
00:12:01,878 --> 00:12:04,345
Waiting in the wings,
chomping at the bit!
297
00:12:04,263 --> 00:12:06,896
Oh, God, if I don't pick
the right reporter,
298
00:12:06,807 --> 00:12:09,940
it's "goodbye, city hall,
hello, refrigerator box"!
299
00:12:11,004 --> 00:12:14,504
It's not even
a challenge anymore.
300
00:12:16,791 --> 00:12:18,057
I just talked with Joan.
301
00:12:18,030 --> 00:12:19,898
She's gonna be here
in 15 minutes,
302
00:12:19,842 --> 00:12:21,875
and I've convinced her
to talk to you.
303
00:12:21,814 --> 00:12:24,481
I don't think
I can pull this one off.
304
00:12:24,389 --> 00:12:25,689
What's the problem?
305
00:12:25,661 --> 00:12:27,495
I can't talk about it.
It's personal.
306
00:12:27,443 --> 00:12:28,742
If I'm not mistaken,
307
00:12:28,713 --> 00:12:31,014
that sounds
like a cry for Carter.
308
00:12:30,940 --> 00:12:33,373
We're gonna need a second.
Charlie...
309
00:12:36,408 --> 00:12:40,875
Let's talk about this
as a group.
310
00:12:40,701 --> 00:12:43,534
The truth is, there are parts
of our relationship
311
00:12:43,435 --> 00:12:44,368
I don't remember.
312
00:12:44,358 --> 00:12:45,391
Which parts?
313
00:12:45,374 --> 00:12:47,740
Beginning, middle, end.
314
00:12:47,664 --> 00:12:50,031
Is there anything at all
you remember about this woman?
315
00:12:49,953 --> 00:12:51,220
I don't think so.
316
00:12:51,194 --> 00:12:52,660
Oh, you're such a pig.
317
00:12:52,624 --> 00:12:55,557
Wait!
That's sparking something.
318
00:12:56,725 --> 00:12:59,026
You can forget
someone that hot?
319
00:12:58,951 --> 00:13:02,585
I wonder if I've ever forgotten
a woman I've had sex with.
320
00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:06,315
Why don't you check
your credit-card receipts?
321
00:13:09,062 --> 00:13:11,329
I'm surprised
you had the guts to do this,
322
00:13:11,256 --> 00:13:14,056
considering you broke up with me
by leaving me a note.
323
00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:16,126
I had so many
complicated things to say,
324
00:13:16,057 --> 00:13:17,657
I wanted to write them down.
325
00:13:17,615 --> 00:13:19,916
"Joan...
326
00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:22,073
later."
327
00:13:25,214 --> 00:13:28,281
You had it laminated?
328
00:13:28,171 --> 00:13:29,405
I keep it in my purse
329
00:13:29,380 --> 00:13:31,413
so I'll remember
how much you hurt me...
330
00:13:31,351 --> 00:13:33,884
and we had just gotten back
from that trip to Mexico.
331
00:13:33,799 --> 00:13:35,432
I love acapulco.
332
00:13:35,388 --> 00:13:37,255
We went to canc�n.
333
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:39,500
At least the weather was great.
334
00:13:39,427 --> 00:13:41,227
It rained all week.
335
00:13:41,175 --> 00:13:43,908
But it gave us a lot of chances
336
00:13:43,813 --> 00:13:46,980
to sit in restaurants
eating...Tacos?
337
00:13:46,867 --> 00:13:47,900
Right.
338
00:13:47,884 --> 00:13:49,784
Yes!
339
00:13:49,728 --> 00:13:52,494
So, Joan, this is great.
340
00:13:52,398 --> 00:13:54,333
I've often thought of Mexico
341
00:13:54,274 --> 00:13:56,908
and the times we've spent
in other places
342
00:13:56,818 --> 00:13:59,718
eating...
Food of that land.
343
00:13:59,617 --> 00:14:01,049
Look, for old time's sake,
344
00:14:01,015 --> 00:14:02,515
could you cut us some slack
345
00:14:02,479 --> 00:14:04,779
and put an end
to this tollbooth strike?
346
00:14:04,704 --> 00:14:06,903
Oh, you like quick,
easy endings, don't you...
347
00:14:06,834 --> 00:14:08,734
like the way you ended
our relationship?
348
00:14:08,678 --> 00:14:10,546
It's not gonna be like that
this time.
349
00:14:10,490 --> 00:14:11,790
What do you want?
350
00:14:11,762 --> 00:14:13,428
I want to know why you left me,
351
00:14:13,383 --> 00:14:15,750
what you were thinking
and feeling when you did,
352
00:14:15,673 --> 00:14:17,173
and what you thought of me.
353
00:14:17,136 --> 00:14:21,136
A lot of that's implied
in here.
354
00:14:20,982 --> 00:14:22,850
You are going
to give me closure!
355
00:14:22,796 --> 00:14:24,928
I need to have
the breakup I never did
356
00:14:24,862 --> 00:14:26,828
so that I can move on
with my life!
357
00:14:26,770 --> 00:14:29,270
Okay, I can do that.
358
00:14:30,648 --> 00:14:31,915
Joan...
359
00:14:31,889 --> 00:14:34,323
I was in a really weird place
back then.
360
00:14:34,242 --> 00:14:36,608
Don't even think of saying,
"it's not you, it's me."
361
00:14:36,530 --> 00:14:40,764
Could you excuse me
for a moment?
362
00:14:42,075 --> 00:14:43,409
Basically, she wants you
363
00:14:43,379 --> 00:14:45,246
to give her
the perfect breakup.
364
00:14:45,192 --> 00:14:46,992
I'm meeting her for dinner
in two hours,
365
00:14:46,940 --> 00:14:49,007
and I need to remember
what happened between us.
366
00:14:48,943 --> 00:14:51,176
You know, sometimes
with amnesia patients
367
00:14:51,105 --> 00:14:52,439
they use shock treatment.
368
00:14:52,409 --> 00:14:54,943
Caitlin,
flash the blouse bunnies!
369
00:14:54,858 --> 00:14:57,557
Stuart!
370
00:14:57,465 --> 00:15:00,064
Did you ever think that
it makes Caitlin uncomfortable
371
00:14:59,977 --> 00:15:02,444
when you constantly draw
attention to her winnebagos?!
372
00:15:02,361 --> 00:15:04,994
Carter!
373
00:15:04,905 --> 00:15:08,738
I'm sorry.
He's rubbing off on me.
374
00:15:08,593 --> 00:15:12,060
You have spent your entire
relationship with this woman
375
00:15:11,932 --> 00:15:13,464
lying and manipulating.
376
00:15:13,426 --> 00:15:14,860
Let's keep that going.
377
00:15:14,825 --> 00:15:17,658
I know exactly the kind of line
women go for.
378
00:15:17,559 --> 00:15:19,092
Wait!
379
00:15:19,944 --> 00:15:21,911
Go!
380
00:15:21,851 --> 00:15:23,884
Tell her, "I left you because
381
00:15:23,823 --> 00:15:27,457
I was afraid I could never be
the man you needed me to be."
382
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:28,520
Impressive...
383
00:15:28,497 --> 00:15:30,330
it took me the whole weekend
384
00:15:30,277 --> 00:15:32,244
to come up
with "Joan... later."
385
00:15:32,185 --> 00:15:34,252
Oh, what's going on in here?
386
00:15:34,188 --> 00:15:37,455
We're trying to come up
with a good breakup line.
387
00:15:37,336 --> 00:15:39,002
"I'm sleeping
with the gardener.
388
00:15:38,957 --> 00:15:40,625
I'll be taking
half your money"?
389
00:15:41,787 --> 00:15:43,854
No?
390
00:15:43,790 --> 00:15:45,990
Worked on me.
391
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,434
How's he doing?
392
00:15:57,399 --> 00:15:59,032
It's hard to tell.
393
00:15:58,988 --> 00:16:03,155
Look at that loser over there.
394
00:16:02,994 --> 00:16:05,928
He has been ogling you
all night.
395
00:16:05,824 --> 00:16:09,058
Oh, my God!
He sent you over a drink.
396
00:16:08,941 --> 00:16:11,074
Ha! Call the lame police.
397
00:16:11,008 --> 00:16:12,808
That's for you.
398
00:16:12,756 --> 00:16:16,090
Don't save my seat.
399
00:16:17,589 --> 00:16:19,422
When I looked in my heart,
400
00:16:19,369 --> 00:16:23,336
I was afraid I could never be
the man you needed me to be.
401
00:16:23,185 --> 00:16:26,419
That's it?
That's all you've got?
402
00:16:26,301 --> 00:16:30,667
I'm sleeping
with the gardener...
403
00:16:32,723 --> 00:16:36,490
and I'll be taking
half your money.
404
00:16:36,348 --> 00:16:39,582
I don't know what made me think
you could be honest with me!
405
00:16:39,464 --> 00:16:41,331
What about the strike?
406
00:16:41,276 --> 00:16:42,942
You came here
like I asked you to,
407
00:16:42,898 --> 00:16:44,731
so I'm not gonna hold
the city hostage.
408
00:16:44,678 --> 00:16:45,945
Thank you.
409
00:16:45,918 --> 00:16:49,085
You've gotten what you wanted:
New job, new life.
410
00:16:48,971 --> 00:16:52,171
But you know something, Charlie?
You haven't changed.
411
00:16:52,055 --> 00:16:54,988
Wait!
412
00:16:54,885 --> 00:16:57,117
You want me to be honest?
413
00:16:57,046 --> 00:16:58,580
I'll be honest.
414
00:16:58,541 --> 00:17:00,541
I don't remember you.
415
00:17:01,626 --> 00:17:04,958
I don't remember
our relationship.
416
00:17:04,837 --> 00:17:06,970
I barely remember 1994.
417
00:17:06,903 --> 00:17:09,137
I'm still trying to figure out
418
00:17:09,065 --> 00:17:12,798
why I have the words "ace
of base" tattooed on my ass.
419
00:17:14,948 --> 00:17:16,348
Back when you knew me,
420
00:17:16,314 --> 00:17:18,814
I drank heavily,
and I was good at it.
421
00:17:18,732 --> 00:17:20,799
I had groupies and a tour bus,
422
00:17:20,735 --> 00:17:22,702
and I wasn't even in a band.
423
00:17:24,614 --> 00:17:26,347
I know that I hurt
a lot of people,
424
00:17:26,298 --> 00:17:28,131
and you're one of them,
and I'm sorry.
425
00:17:28,079 --> 00:17:30,511
Maybe you're someone
that would've been right for me,
426
00:17:30,432 --> 00:17:32,599
but I'll never know that,
and that's my loss.
427
00:17:33,770 --> 00:17:35,870
Now that I have
everyone's attention,
428
00:17:35,806 --> 00:17:40,505
we're still waiting on rolls.
429
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,320
Thank you.
430
00:17:45,185 --> 00:17:47,885
Call me.
431
00:18:00,573 --> 00:18:02,673
Are you crying?
432
00:18:02,609 --> 00:18:06,475
It's just...
she's so hot...
433
00:18:06,329 --> 00:18:10,761
And he had sex with her.
434
00:18:15,613 --> 00:18:16,579
Hey.
435
00:18:16,567 --> 00:18:17,800
Hey.
436
00:18:17,775 --> 00:18:20,675
I just want to thank you
for talking to Joan.
437
00:18:20,573 --> 00:18:22,840
I know that must've been
really hard for you.
438
00:18:22,767 --> 00:18:25,334
Yeah, it was.
She stuck me with the check.
439
00:18:25,247 --> 00:18:26,347
Joke all you want,
440
00:18:26,328 --> 00:18:28,462
but what you said
was really moving.
441
00:18:28,395 --> 00:18:31,429
I guess... I got numbers
from the waitress, the hostess,
442
00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:33,586
and the guy
that was hitting on Carter.
443
00:18:34,945 --> 00:18:36,644
That's it. You win.
444
00:18:36,598 --> 00:18:38,631
I can't pick a reporter.
445
00:18:38,570 --> 00:18:41,503
I-I'll just clean out
my office.
446
00:18:41,399 --> 00:18:43,999
Paul, the two best guys
are Martin from the post
447
00:18:43,910 --> 00:18:45,744
and Johnson
from the daily news.
448
00:18:45,692 --> 00:18:47,458
Pick one...
go with your gut.
449
00:18:49,348 --> 00:18:50,914
Johnson.
450
00:18:50,873 --> 00:18:52,140
We're going with Johnson.
451
00:18:52,114 --> 00:18:54,047
Congratulations...
you made a decision.
452
00:18:53,990 --> 00:18:56,757
I did.
453
00:18:56,660 --> 00:18:59,860
I made a decision on my own.
454
00:18:59,745 --> 00:19:01,444
I'm decisive.
455
00:19:01,398 --> 00:19:03,131
I'm your guy.
456
00:19:04,674 --> 00:19:06,906
Of course,
I'd have gone with Martin.
457
00:19:06,834 --> 00:19:08,202
Ohhh!
458
00:19:10,937 --> 00:19:13,304
I hear the tollbooth strike
is off.
459
00:19:13,226 --> 00:19:14,492
The morning commute
460
00:19:14,465 --> 00:19:17,133
is gonna be back
to its usual slow crawl.
461
00:19:17,041 --> 00:19:18,574
Another problem solved.
462
00:19:19,776 --> 00:19:21,475
It's moments like this
463
00:19:21,429 --> 00:19:24,262
that make me glad I decided
not to run for the senate.
464
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,996
I love being mayor
of this city.
465
00:19:25,944 --> 00:19:28,077
I love the people.
466
00:19:28,011 --> 00:19:30,944
I love the way the park smells
on a fall day.
467
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:34,573
I love the free apples you get
outside every Korean market.
468
00:19:34,433 --> 00:19:38,766
Sir...Those aren't free.
469
00:19:38,599 --> 00:19:41,966
Let him go.
470
00:19:41,842 --> 00:19:43,475
Thank you, Caitlin.
471
00:19:43,432 --> 00:19:46,131
You, too, Charlie.
472
00:19:46,039 --> 00:19:47,805
Thank you.
473
00:19:49,218 --> 00:19:50,252
Sir...
474
00:19:51,634 --> 00:19:53,468
you called me Charlie.
475
00:19:53,416 --> 00:19:55,581
Don't let it go
to your head, Mike.
476
00:20:07,182 --> 00:20:10,249
Here's a list of my meetings
for tomorrow.
477
00:20:10,140 --> 00:20:12,973
Did you traumatize
any of these people?
478
00:20:12,874 --> 00:20:15,341
No...No...No.
479
00:20:15,259 --> 00:20:19,259
I'm gonna skip the 3:00.
480
00:20:29,344 --> 00:20:31,810
Sit, ubu, sit. Good dog.
481
00:20:31,860 --> 00:20:36,410
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