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1
00:01:18,978 --> 00:01:23,114
Becky, is that the shirt
you wore to school today?
2
00:01:23,149 --> 00:01:23,882
Yes.
3
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:27,785
Ok. Would you like
another beer, dearest?
4
00:01:27,820 --> 00:01:30,388
Thank you, my pet.
5
00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:32,890
Can I have a beer?
6
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:33,926
No.
7
00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:37,028
So, Becky, is something
wrong with your food?
8
00:01:37,063 --> 00:01:40,998
You mean you hid some
food under all this slop?
9
00:01:41,033 --> 00:01:43,734
Hey! I stuck that
in the microwave,
10
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:45,803
pressed power, pressed
time, pressed start,
11
00:01:45,838 --> 00:01:49,307
and this is the thanks I get.
12
00:01:49,342 --> 00:01:51,609
God, nobody could eat this crud.
13
00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:53,511
If you don't finish your crud,
14
00:01:53,546 --> 00:01:57,615
you won't get
any crap for dessert.
15
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,452
Hey, whoa.
It's your turn to clear.
16
00:02:00,487 --> 00:02:02,754
Isn't it always
my turn to clear?
17
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:06,091
Is there something you'd
like to share with us?
18
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,125
Like what?
19
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:09,828
Like why you've been
acting like a snot lately.
20
00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:11,863
Why don't you kiss my butt?
21
00:02:11,898 --> 00:02:14,933
Well, haul it
on over here, jumbo.
22
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:15,934
Hey, hey!
23
00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:16,734
Hey, hey!
24
00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:19,504
No butt-kissing
at the dinner table.
25
00:02:19,539 --> 00:02:23,708
I'm just sick of Mom
treating me like a baby.
26
00:02:23,743 --> 00:02:24,709
Hello.
27
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:27,245
What were you doing
in my room today?
28
00:02:27,247 --> 00:02:30,848
Cleaning. Isn't that
what you hired me for?
29
00:02:30,883 --> 00:02:34,185
I hate that room.
It's a baby room.
30
00:02:34,221 --> 00:02:35,519
Don't you hate it, Darlene?
31
00:02:35,555 --> 00:02:37,955
Who cares? When I turn
18, I'm out of here.
32
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:40,825
Why can't you
back me up for once?
33
00:02:40,860 --> 00:02:43,194
Well, I don't like you, Becky.
34
00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:46,197
Becky, if you don't like
your room, change it.
35
00:02:46,233 --> 00:02:49,034
We got a garage full
of paint out there.
36
00:02:49,069 --> 00:02:50,802
Your dad will help you.
37
00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:53,738
She means your real dad.
38
00:02:54,073 --> 00:02:58,609
You can get started
tomorrow, ok?
39
00:02:58,645 --> 00:02:59,778
Fine. Whatever.
40
00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:06,151
Oh, no. Just seeing your
smiling face is thanks enough.
41
00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:16,161
I asked that guy out
like you told me to.
42
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,463
We got a date for tomorrow.
43
00:03:18,498 --> 00:03:19,764
Way to go.
44
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,766
Only now I have to pay.
45
00:03:21,802 --> 00:03:23,201
No way.
The guy pays.
46
00:03:23,236 --> 00:03:25,036
Yeah, but I asked him out.
47
00:03:25,071 --> 00:03:27,839
So? The rule is,
the guy still pays.
48
00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:29,240
Who made up that rule?
49
00:03:29,276 --> 00:03:31,943
Some cheap hungry woman.
50
00:03:31,978 --> 00:03:35,379
[Dan] What do I look
like, Becky, your slave?
51
00:03:35,415 --> 00:03:36,747
[Becky]
So I was late.
52
00:03:36,783 --> 00:03:38,283
Two hours!
And it's your room!
53
00:03:38,318 --> 00:03:42,320
You think I'll spend my day
off painting it by myself?
54
00:03:42,355 --> 00:03:44,622
So what are you going to wear?
55
00:03:44,657 --> 00:03:46,991
You ought to wear
that burgundy pullover.
56
00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:51,129
This marriage-family
thing's been a lot of fun,
57
00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:53,898
but I got to go.
58
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:58,536
Damn. I lose more
husbands that way.
59
00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:03,407
Just don't start with me,
mother, ok? I've had it.
60
00:04:03,443 --> 00:04:06,177
Whoa. Cover me.
61
00:04:06,212 --> 00:04:07,445
God, it's his problem
62
00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:08,979
he's having
this stupid hemorrhage.
63
00:04:09,015 --> 00:04:11,549
I was going
to get something eat,
64
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,785
then go paint my stupid room.
65
00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:14,919
No, stay down here
66
00:04:14,954 --> 00:04:18,122
and fill our lives
with joy and mirth.
67
00:04:18,157 --> 00:04:21,693
I know what you ought
to wear on that date...
68
00:04:21,728 --> 00:04:24,462
Your red blouse
with your black skirt.
69
00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:25,930
That skirt is so short.
70
00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:27,431
But you have great legs.
71
00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:29,300
Wear your hair down, too,
72
00:04:29,335 --> 00:04:30,768
'cause it'll hide your neck.
73
00:04:30,803 --> 00:04:32,570
What's the matter with my neck?
74
00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:34,005
Make sure you order dessert.
75
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:35,907
I was reading in Cosmo
76
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,876
where it says a healthy appetite
77
00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:41,078
is considered
to be sexy nowadays.
78
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:45,049
I was so far ahead of my time.
79
00:04:46,152 --> 00:04:48,252
[D.J.]
Mom!
80
00:04:48,287 --> 00:04:49,320
What?
81
00:04:49,355 --> 00:04:53,257
My head's stuck in the drawer!
82
00:04:53,292 --> 00:04:56,360
Not again.
83
00:05:00,833 --> 00:05:03,835
God, doesn't she
drive you crazy?
84
00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:06,438
Well, she wants me to be happy,
85
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:07,839
and she cares about me,
86
00:05:07,874 --> 00:05:11,075
and yeah, she drives me crazy.
87
00:05:11,110 --> 00:05:12,643
Well, I'm sick of it.
88
00:05:12,678 --> 00:05:13,844
She hates my friends,
89
00:05:13,879 --> 00:05:17,515
the clothes I wear,
the guys I date.
90
00:05:17,550 --> 00:05:18,215
Me, too.
91
00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:19,584
At least you get a break.
92
00:05:19,619 --> 00:05:22,887
You come here, do your
laundry, then go home.
93
00:05:22,922 --> 00:05:23,855
Well, you'll survive, Beck.
94
00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:28,158
She's been doing the same
thing to me for 20 years,
95
00:05:28,194 --> 00:05:29,994
and I'm basically
a happy person.
96
00:05:30,029 --> 00:05:32,963
I'm not saying I don't
wake up screaming
97
00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,666
every now and again.
98
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:35,766
Now, don't do that again.
99
00:05:35,801 --> 00:05:39,837
Go wash that salad oil
off your head.
100
00:05:41,307 --> 00:05:47,678
How does he get his
head stuck in a drawer?
101
00:05:51,884 --> 00:05:55,319
He's gifted, Jackie.
102
00:05:59,459 --> 00:06:03,528
Look, Becky, it's your
old Menudo album.
103
00:06:03,563 --> 00:06:05,096
That's not mine.
104
00:06:05,131 --> 00:06:06,431
Yeah, it is.
105
00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:08,032
I never liked Menudo.
106
00:06:08,068 --> 00:06:10,134
Oh, get out of here.
107
00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:10,768
I didn't!
108
00:06:10,803 --> 00:06:11,869
Like I was the one
109
00:06:11,904 --> 00:06:15,139
who drew the heart
around Fernando's head.
110
00:06:15,174 --> 00:06:17,942
Heavy Menudo denial, Beck.
111
00:06:17,977 --> 00:06:20,644
All right, just toss it, ok?
112
00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:22,780
So...
113
00:06:22,815 --> 00:06:24,748
What color is this room
going to be?
114
00:06:24,784 --> 00:06:27,585
Let's paint big, black
bars on the walls.
115
00:06:27,620 --> 00:06:29,454
It feels like a jail cell,
116
00:06:29,489 --> 00:06:32,723
it might as well look like one.
117
00:06:32,758 --> 00:06:33,758
Come on, Becky.
118
00:06:33,793 --> 00:06:35,193
I don't care, Darlene.
119
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:36,628
Then why do this?
120
00:06:36,663 --> 00:06:38,196
You don't have to!
121
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:41,031
One minute you want
to paint the room,
122
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:42,266
then you don't care.
123
00:06:42,301 --> 00:06:45,837
What is going on
with you, Becky?
124
00:06:45,872 --> 00:06:47,404
Do you remember Mark?
125
00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:48,739
From down the street?
126
00:06:48,775 --> 00:06:51,242
No, that guy I went out with.
127
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:53,244
Oh, yeah, the stupid one?
128
00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:54,520
He's not stupid, he's gorgeous.
129
00:06:54,547 --> 00:06:58,115
You just wish you could
meet a guy like that.
130
00:06:58,150 --> 00:07:03,721
If I wait a couple years,
he'll be in my grade.
131
00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:08,659
Well, I'm going out
with him tonight.
132
00:07:08,694 --> 00:07:11,428
Don't you remember
what Mom and Dad said?
133
00:07:11,464 --> 00:07:14,331
They don't want me
to see him. So what?
134
00:07:14,367 --> 00:07:17,535
I'm 16! I don't have
to listen to her.
135
00:07:17,571 --> 00:07:19,903
If they find out,
they'll ground you forever.
136
00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:21,872
Well, they're not
going to find out
137
00:07:21,907 --> 00:07:26,677
'cause officially I'll be
at the basketball game...
138
00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:28,078
With you.
139
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:30,481
Why should I lie for you?
140
00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:33,317
'Cause you're good at it.
141
00:07:33,352 --> 00:07:35,353
I don't know.
142
00:07:35,388 --> 00:07:36,621
Come on, Darlene.
143
00:07:36,656 --> 00:07:39,757
Sisters do this for each other.
144
00:07:39,826 --> 00:07:43,961
I can't believe this guy's
so important to you.
145
00:07:43,997 --> 00:07:45,596
Please?
146
00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:46,998
I'll owe you.
147
00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:50,234
I'll owe you big.
148
00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:51,969
I guess.
149
00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:53,737
Thank you so much.
150
00:07:53,773 --> 00:07:55,239
Yeah.
151
00:08:04,351 --> 00:08:05,850
Come on, Becky.
152
00:08:05,885 --> 00:08:08,119
Where are you?
153
00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:14,025
What are you doing out there?
154
00:08:14,060 --> 00:08:15,860
Uh, I dropped my key.
155
00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:18,129
Well, come inside.
156
00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:22,400
Hey, Darlene.
157
00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:23,301
Hey. Great game.
158
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,737
They beat us by,
like, 20 points,
159
00:08:25,772 --> 00:08:28,573
but we went and tipped
their bus over
160
00:08:28,608 --> 00:08:29,973
and set it on fire.
161
00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:31,175
Where's Becky?
162
00:08:31,210 --> 00:08:35,179
She went to get pizza with
her friends after the game.
163
00:08:35,214 --> 00:08:38,683
She'll be home in an hour or so.
164
00:08:39,919 --> 00:08:43,487
Hey, genius, how long
were you at the pizza place
165
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:46,390
before you remembered
I had all your money?
166
00:08:46,425 --> 00:08:47,659
Uh, not long.
167
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:49,460
How was the game, Beck?
168
00:08:49,495 --> 00:08:50,995
It was ok.
169
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:51,829
Who won?
170
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:52,830
I-i just told you.
171
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:56,167
I just want to hear it from her.
172
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:57,101
She doesn't know.
173
00:08:57,137 --> 00:08:59,903
She was in the bathroom
the whole time,
174
00:08:59,939 --> 00:09:02,106
bleaching her upper lip.
175
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:10,448
So, Becky, who'd
you come home with?
176
00:09:10,483 --> 00:09:14,852
I hitched a ride
with a serial killer, ok?
177
00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:15,820
Who'd you come home with?
178
00:09:15,855 --> 00:09:16,954
What's the difference?
179
00:09:16,989 --> 00:09:17,955
We want to know.
180
00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:20,457
God, you're beginning
to sound like Mom.
181
00:09:20,493 --> 00:09:22,593
If I found that
really insulting,
182
00:09:22,629 --> 00:09:24,829
would it bother you?
183
00:09:25,632 --> 00:09:28,566
Come on, Becky.
We asked you a question.
184
00:09:28,601 --> 00:09:30,234
Where were you?
185
00:09:30,269 --> 00:09:30,935
Pizza.
186
00:09:30,970 --> 00:09:33,704
Quiet. I'm not
talking to you.
187
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:34,305
Well?
188
00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:36,774
Want to know? Fine.
I was with Mark.
189
00:09:36,809 --> 00:09:40,477
Becky, you lied to me!
190
00:09:42,281 --> 00:09:46,550
This better not be
the Mark I think it is.
191
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:47,629
Yes, Mark
with the fake ID,
192
00:09:47,653 --> 00:09:49,153
who you don't want me
to go out with.
193
00:09:49,188 --> 00:09:53,257
The one you're not allowed
to go out with, Becky.
194
00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:55,193
Oh, is that so, Roseanne?
195
00:09:55,228 --> 00:09:57,261
Hey!
196
00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:59,563
Her name is "Mother".
197
00:09:59,966 --> 00:10:02,966
You're grounded till the end of school.
How's that?
198
00:10:03,002 --> 00:10:06,103
That's lame. What will
you do... tie me up?
199
00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:07,471
I've had enough of this.
200
00:10:07,507 --> 00:10:09,706
You're way over the line.
201
00:10:09,742 --> 00:10:10,875
Get upstairs.
202
00:10:10,977 --> 00:10:11,442
No!
203
00:10:11,477 --> 00:10:13,477
What do you mean, no?
204
00:10:13,512 --> 00:10:15,780
You're right.
I don't mean no.
205
00:10:15,815 --> 00:10:18,549
I mean goodbye.
206
00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:34,265
[Knock on door]
207
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:38,102
You don't have, like, a
jealous wife or anything,
208
00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:39,170
do you?
209
00:10:39,205 --> 00:10:42,406
No. None of my wives
are jealous.
210
00:10:42,442 --> 00:10:46,344
I'll be right back.
Who is it?
211
00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:47,511
It's me.
212
00:10:47,546 --> 00:10:48,713
Becky?
213
00:10:48,748 --> 00:10:50,381
I can't take it anymore.
214
00:10:50,416 --> 00:10:53,417
Yes, you can. Bye.
215
00:10:54,754 --> 00:10:56,053
I can't deal with her.
216
00:10:56,088 --> 00:10:57,921
She'll just never understand me.
217
00:10:57,957 --> 00:11:00,090
I'll come over tomorrow.
We'll talk.
218
00:11:00,125 --> 00:11:02,626
I got to move in with you.
219
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:05,629
Becky, this is not a good time.
220
00:11:05,664 --> 00:11:10,835
Oh, my god! You guys were
just about to, like, do it!
221
00:11:10,870 --> 00:11:12,103
I'm really sorry.
222
00:11:12,138 --> 00:11:16,173
I'll just be out in the hall.
223
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:20,545
Holler when you're done!
224
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:26,650
Maybe I should go.
225
00:11:26,685 --> 00:11:28,119
No, you sit right there.
226
00:11:28,154 --> 00:11:30,954
Becky, come in.
227
00:11:30,990 --> 00:11:31,955
Go home.
228
00:11:31,991 --> 00:11:35,359
I can't. She doesn't
care what I want
229
00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:36,994
or if I'm happy.
230
00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:39,964
All she wants to do
is run my life!
231
00:11:39,999 --> 00:11:41,865
Becky, please go home.
232
00:11:41,901 --> 00:11:44,868
Please, please, please, please.
233
00:11:44,904 --> 00:11:46,471
That's it, Becky.
234
00:11:46,506 --> 00:11:47,205
Roseanne...
235
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,474
Please, please, please, please,
236
00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:52,209
go home, please, please, please.
237
00:11:52,244 --> 00:11:53,511
She followed me.
238
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:55,345
Now you know what I mean?
239
00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:57,748
Do you think I'd
let you walk out?
240
00:11:57,784 --> 00:12:00,518
Please, please, please,
please, please.
241
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:03,154
I'll tell you what,
I'll just go home.
242
00:12:03,189 --> 00:12:04,888
No! Stay.
243
00:12:04,924 --> 00:12:06,490
Can't you see Jackie's busy?
244
00:12:06,525 --> 00:12:07,925
You're being very rude.
245
00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:09,893
I don't care if she's busy!
246
00:12:09,929 --> 00:12:11,929
See? It's just
like you said!
247
00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:13,697
She just drives you crazy!
248
00:12:13,732 --> 00:12:15,566
Like you said?
249
00:12:15,601 --> 00:12:19,303
Well, we were talking
about dating, and...
250
00:12:19,338 --> 00:12:20,137
And what?
251
00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:21,805
Like you're some
expert on dating,
252
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:25,375
after all the losers
you go out with?
253
00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:27,445
Bye-bye.
254
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:28,946
I'll call you.
255
00:12:28,981 --> 00:12:31,114
I'm so sorry.
256
00:12:31,150 --> 00:12:34,318
Well, I hope you're both happy.
257
00:12:34,353 --> 00:12:36,086
That loser had potential.
258
00:12:36,121 --> 00:12:37,161
Becky, you're coming home.
259
00:12:37,189 --> 00:12:39,957
No! I'm staying with someone
who understands me.
260
00:12:39,992 --> 00:12:43,126
I have nothing more
to say to you.
261
00:12:43,162 --> 00:12:44,896
I'll be in the other room.
262
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,931
There is no other room, Becky.
263
00:12:46,966 --> 00:12:49,367
Then I'll be in the bathroom.
264
00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:51,302
Becky!
265
00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:01,478
She's all yours.
266
00:13:01,513 --> 00:13:03,380
She can't stay here.
267
00:13:03,415 --> 00:13:04,982
You should have
thought about that
268
00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:06,550
before you opened
your big mouth.
269
00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:10,721
But I always open my big mouth.
This never happened.
270
00:13:10,756 --> 00:13:12,023
Goodbye, Jackie.
271
00:13:12,058 --> 00:13:13,457
Bye, Becky.
272
00:13:13,492 --> 00:13:15,125
You can't be serious!
273
00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:18,929
Congratulations.
It's a girl!
274
00:13:28,274 --> 00:13:29,274
Look at all this stuff.
275
00:13:29,308 --> 00:13:33,744
I thought our kids were
supposed to be deprived.
276
00:13:33,779 --> 00:13:35,346
Well, we tried.
277
00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:36,680
Where were you?
278
00:13:36,715 --> 00:13:38,382
Getting a drink.
279
00:13:38,417 --> 00:13:39,016
God!
280
00:13:39,051 --> 00:13:42,486
Here. Take this
trash out.
281
00:13:42,521 --> 00:13:44,322
No.
282
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:45,389
No?
283
00:13:45,424 --> 00:13:45,923
Yeah, no.
284
00:13:45,958 --> 00:13:47,758
I mean, this is my room,
285
00:13:47,794 --> 00:13:50,928
and this is the way
I want it now!
286
00:13:50,963 --> 00:13:52,697
Wrong. This is my room,
287
00:13:52,732 --> 00:13:55,032
'cause it's in my house
on my lot.
288
00:13:55,067 --> 00:13:57,501
Those are my chairs,
those are my desks,
289
00:13:57,537 --> 00:14:01,405
that's my hello kitty,
my e-z bake oven,
290
00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:02,707
so you take my trash
291
00:14:02,742 --> 00:14:04,375
downstairs to my garbage cans
292
00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:07,210
and throw it out now!
293
00:14:07,246 --> 00:14:10,013
Jeez...
294
00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:14,751
Right attitude, wrong daughter.
295
00:14:15,722 --> 00:14:17,287
What's wrong?
296
00:14:17,322 --> 00:14:18,722
It's Becky's stuff.
297
00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:21,359
You getting all weepy on me now?
298
00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:22,559
No, I'm not.
299
00:14:22,594 --> 00:14:25,395
Let's get it over with.
300
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:30,968
It's ac/dc, highway to hell.
301
00:14:35,574 --> 00:14:37,041
I miss her, Dan.
302
00:14:37,076 --> 00:14:38,208
I miss her, too.
303
00:14:38,244 --> 00:14:41,979
We can always tell her
we want her to come home.
304
00:14:42,014 --> 00:14:44,481
She's got to come home
'cause she wants to.
305
00:14:44,516 --> 00:14:45,983
When's that going to happen?
306
00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:49,519
I don't know. If we wait
a couple more days,
307
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:51,922
she'll figure it out, trust me.
308
00:14:51,958 --> 00:14:56,293
I've lived with Jackie.
We're better.
309
00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:02,766
Hey, what are you doing?
310
00:15:02,802 --> 00:15:03,500
Becky's laundry.
311
00:15:03,535 --> 00:15:05,936
How are things going over there?
312
00:15:05,972 --> 00:15:06,604
Good.
313
00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:07,871
You and Becky getting along?
314
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:10,040
Yeah. I'm enjoying
having her there.
315
00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:11,842
We gave each other a facial
316
00:15:11,877 --> 00:15:14,845
and went down to
the mall to scam guys.
317
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:17,547
Last night, we made
prank phone calls.
318
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:18,949
Crystal's still wondering
319
00:15:18,985 --> 00:15:21,619
how Nancy Reagan got her number.
320
00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:23,087
Is she going to school?
321
00:15:23,122 --> 00:15:24,488
Is she doing her homework?
322
00:15:24,523 --> 00:15:26,590
Is she getting in on time?
323
00:15:26,625 --> 00:15:27,724
She's fine, Dan.
324
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,061
She's really been
a big help, too.
325
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:32,663
She's been making her bed,
doing the dishes.
326
00:15:32,698 --> 00:15:35,032
Oh, well, that is
just great, Jackie.
327
00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:38,769
Well, Roseanne, come on.
Not that big of help,
328
00:15:38,804 --> 00:15:42,906
nothing that a maid couldn't do.
329
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,342
No, I'm glad she's happy.
330
00:15:44,377 --> 00:15:45,609
Then she'll never come home.
331
00:15:45,644 --> 00:15:49,814
If I kicked her out, she
might not come back here!
332
00:15:49,849 --> 00:15:51,515
You're encouraging her to stay.
333
00:15:51,550 --> 00:15:52,416
I am not.
334
00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:54,718
Then how come
she's acting so perfect?
335
00:15:54,753 --> 00:15:56,754
Because I'm not her mother.
336
00:15:56,789 --> 00:16:00,458
No, you're making it like
some damn slumber party.
337
00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:01,825
Roseanne...
338
00:16:01,860 --> 00:16:03,227
I want her home.
339
00:16:03,262 --> 00:16:04,995
Well, come get her.
340
00:16:05,030 --> 00:16:05,596
No.
341
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:07,498
Then quit yelling at me!
342
00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:08,365
No!
343
00:16:08,401 --> 00:16:09,300
I'm leaving!
344
00:16:09,335 --> 00:16:11,668
Steal my daughter,
then leave me her laundry,
345
00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:15,439
like I'm really going to do it.
346
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:20,043
Oh, sure.
Take her side.
347
00:16:25,384 --> 00:16:27,485
Jacks, this stuff
in the refrigerator,
348
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:31,455
is it lettuce or pumpernickel?
349
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:34,158
Throw it out.
350
00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:39,430
What do you think?
351
00:16:39,465 --> 00:16:41,031
I won't wait up.
352
00:16:41,066 --> 00:16:43,066
What are you going to do?
353
00:16:43,102 --> 00:16:45,236
Just hang out, I guess.
354
00:16:45,271 --> 00:16:46,271
No Mark tonight?
355
00:16:46,305 --> 00:16:48,805
I just wanted to be
able to see him.
356
00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:51,475
I don't have to see
him every night.
357
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:52,976
It'll be lonely around here.
358
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:55,612
Can I drop you off somewhere?
359
00:16:55,647 --> 00:16:58,315
I'm not going home, Jackie.
360
00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:00,116
You can't stay here forever.
361
00:17:00,152 --> 00:17:02,052
I know.
362
00:17:02,087 --> 00:17:03,087
All right.
363
00:17:03,122 --> 00:17:07,190
I left the number where
I'll be here by the phone.
364
00:17:07,226 --> 00:17:12,162
Oh, and Becky, don't call.
365
00:17:21,173 --> 00:17:22,472
[Telephone rings]
366
00:17:22,508 --> 00:17:25,009
[Jackie, using a
sexy voice] Hello...
367
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,310
It's Jacqueline.
368
00:17:26,345 --> 00:17:29,846
I'm all torn up inside
about missing your call.
369
00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:32,716
Ow. Please leave
a message,
370
00:17:32,751 --> 00:17:34,385
and I'll call you.
371
00:17:34,420 --> 00:17:36,653
Bye-bye.
372
00:17:36,688 --> 00:17:37,421
[Beep]
373
00:17:37,456 --> 00:17:38,289
[Roseanne]
Becky?
374
00:17:38,324 --> 00:17:41,158
Becky, come on.
Pick up.
375
00:17:41,193 --> 00:17:43,294
Becky, are you there?
376
00:17:43,329 --> 00:17:45,595
Becky, pick up the phone.
377
00:17:45,631 --> 00:17:46,897
Becky, come on...
378
00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:49,133
[turns down the volume]
379
00:17:58,677 --> 00:18:00,244
[Knock on door]
380
00:18:00,279 --> 00:18:01,778
Who is it?
381
00:18:01,814 --> 00:18:03,314
It's me.
382
00:18:04,616 --> 00:18:07,484
Oh, come on in, Darlene.
383
00:18:08,187 --> 00:18:11,221
Oh, my god. You're
doing homework?
384
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:12,156
So?
385
00:18:12,191 --> 00:18:15,225
You don't even know how
to run away right.
386
00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:16,327
You're pathetic.
387
00:18:16,329 --> 00:18:18,829
What are you
doing here, Darlene?
388
00:18:18,864 --> 00:18:20,764
I came by to tell you
389
00:18:20,799 --> 00:18:22,232
you're a major
butt-head.
390
00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:24,801
This just proves me right.
391
00:18:24,837 --> 00:18:25,802
Goodbye, Darlene.
392
00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:28,138
All right, all right, all right.
393
00:18:28,174 --> 00:18:31,541
Let me just ask you something.
394
00:18:31,744 --> 00:18:34,411
What did Mom do
that was so horrible?
395
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:37,915
Everything! She wouldn't
let me see Mark.
396
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,083
You saw him anyway!
397
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,517
I had to lie about it!
398
00:18:40,552 --> 00:18:42,219
I lied! I covered for you!
399
00:18:42,254 --> 00:18:45,022
I got grounded,
and you don't even care!
400
00:18:45,057 --> 00:18:46,824
I am sorry, Darlene, all right?
401
00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:49,793
No. You're getting off
way too easy, Becky.
402
00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:51,428
Go home, Darlene.
403
00:18:51,463 --> 00:18:53,297
Look, Jackie's
putting up with you,
404
00:18:53,332 --> 00:18:54,798
Mom and Dad are impossible,
405
00:18:54,833 --> 00:18:56,967
Mom and Jackie are fighting,
406
00:18:57,002 --> 00:18:58,113
everybody's yelling
at everybody else,
407
00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:00,771
and nobody's saying what
they should be saying...
408
00:19:00,773 --> 00:19:05,542
Becky, you're a selfish,
inconsiderate, spoiled little brat!
409
00:19:20,893 --> 00:19:25,195
[Rewinding
answering machine tape]
410
00:19:25,231 --> 00:19:26,130
[Beep]
411
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:29,233
[Roseanne]
Becky? Becky, come on.
412
00:19:29,268 --> 00:19:30,000
Pick up.
413
00:19:30,036 --> 00:19:31,335
Becky, are you there?
414
00:19:31,370 --> 00:19:34,538
Becky, pick up the phone.
415
00:19:34,573 --> 00:19:37,741
Ok, listen, um...
416
00:19:37,776 --> 00:19:40,944
Your Dad wanted you to know
he misses you
417
00:19:40,979 --> 00:19:43,213
and he wants you to come home.
418
00:19:43,249 --> 00:19:46,750
He thinks you guys
can work out your problems
419
00:19:46,785 --> 00:19:48,218
if you'd come back.
420
00:19:48,254 --> 00:19:50,787
Ok, well, that's all.
421
00:19:50,822 --> 00:19:51,822
[Click]
422
00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:52,923
[Beep]
423
00:19:52,958 --> 00:19:53,823
[Beep]
424
00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:55,125
[Roseanne]
It's me again.
425
00:19:55,161 --> 00:19:58,429
Your Dad also wanted me
to tell you
426
00:19:58,464 --> 00:20:00,897
that, like, he loves you.
427
00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:02,933
[Click]
428
00:20:02,968 --> 00:20:04,435
[Beep]
429
00:20:04,470 --> 00:20:05,769
[Beep]
430
00:20:05,804 --> 00:20:09,073
[Roseanne]
Ok, and, um...
431
00:20:09,108 --> 00:20:10,907
Me, too.
432
00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:13,710
[Click]
433
00:20:13,745 --> 00:20:15,879
[Beep]
434
00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:31,895
No more push-up pops?
435
00:20:31,930 --> 00:20:35,365
Well, have a fudgie bar.
436
00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:38,068
It's not the same.
437
00:20:39,671 --> 00:20:42,639
I stayed awake
in history class today.
438
00:20:42,674 --> 00:20:44,708
That a girl.
439
00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:49,246
Whose turn is it
to do the dishes?
440
00:20:49,281 --> 00:20:50,113
Becky's.
441
00:20:50,149 --> 00:20:52,315
Thanks, Darlene.
442
00:20:52,350 --> 00:20:53,050
Hey.
443
00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:54,551
Yo, Jack!
444
00:20:55,421 --> 00:20:58,121
Ok if I use the washer?
445
00:21:01,727 --> 00:21:04,394
Sure. Go ahead.
446
00:21:05,130 --> 00:21:08,231
This war, this vendetta,
this Sicilian thing
447
00:21:08,266 --> 00:21:10,600
must end.
448
00:21:11,136 --> 00:21:12,969
All right.
449
00:21:19,078 --> 00:21:19,977
Hey.
450
00:21:20,012 --> 00:21:24,114
Hi. I just a couple loads,
then I'll get out.
451
00:21:26,752 --> 00:21:29,152
No rush.
452
00:21:32,657 --> 00:21:36,426
So have you seen that guy again?
453
00:21:36,461 --> 00:21:37,127
Jonathan?
454
00:21:37,162 --> 00:21:39,796
Yeah, I saw him last night.
455
00:21:39,831 --> 00:21:41,664
Hmm.
456
00:21:43,102 --> 00:21:44,401
What did you wear?
457
00:21:44,436 --> 00:21:47,371
Jeans and my red blouse.
458
00:21:47,406 --> 00:21:48,171
Hmm.
459
00:21:48,207 --> 00:21:49,472
We went bowling.
460
00:21:49,508 --> 00:21:53,110
Oh.
It's a good choice.
461
00:21:53,145 --> 00:21:55,212
How are things back here?
462
00:21:55,247 --> 00:21:57,614
Well, she's grounded
for two weeks,
463
00:21:57,650 --> 00:22:00,884
we upped the curfew a half hour,
464
00:22:00,919 --> 00:22:02,686
her allowance stays the same.
465
00:22:02,721 --> 00:22:04,187
What about Mark?
466
00:22:04,222 --> 00:22:04,921
Absolutely not.
467
00:22:04,956 --> 00:22:07,357
We would not budge on that.
468
00:22:07,392 --> 00:22:09,559
We forbade her to ever
see him again,
469
00:22:09,594 --> 00:22:14,164
so you should wear your
blue dress to the wedding.
470
00:22:14,199 --> 00:22:17,834
Mother, are we the last
people in the free world
471
00:22:17,870 --> 00:22:20,303
to get a dishwasher?
Jeez!
472
00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:22,806
Oh, and I forgot.
473
00:22:22,841 --> 00:22:26,276
She's calling me mother.
474
00:22:35,687 --> 00:22:37,320
[Telephone rings]
475
00:22:37,355 --> 00:22:39,389
Just let it ring.
476
00:22:40,091 --> 00:22:42,793
Hi. This is Jackie.
477
00:22:42,828 --> 00:22:44,227
Leave a message.
478
00:22:44,262 --> 00:22:45,695
Bye.
479
00:22:47,098 --> 00:22:47,798
[Beep]
480
00:22:47,833 --> 00:22:49,065
[Roseanne]
Jackie.
481
00:22:49,100 --> 00:22:50,934
Jackie, pick up.
482
00:22:50,969 --> 00:22:51,868
Jackie?
483
00:22:51,904 --> 00:22:54,270
I was just reading in Cosmo
484
00:22:54,306 --> 00:22:56,039
there's these
great new exercises.
485
00:22:56,074 --> 00:22:59,075
You look up at the
ceiling and chew
486
00:22:59,110 --> 00:23:00,577
about 5 minutes every day,
487
00:23:00,612 --> 00:23:04,748
and it will fix up that
scary deal you got
488
00:23:04,783 --> 00:23:07,117
in the back of your neck.
489
00:23:07,152 --> 00:23:08,285
There's this other one...
490
00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:10,853
Twist your head
from side to side.
491
00:23:10,889 --> 00:23:14,925
It made me nauseous, but
it's worth it for you.
492
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:17,961
There is nothing
wrong with my neck!
32669
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