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1
00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:17,408
A niner to Marvin,
possible straight,
2
00:01:17,443 --> 00:01:20,111
another duck for the
monsignor, zippo,
3
00:01:20,146 --> 00:01:23,381
and shinola for the dealer.
4
00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:25,149
Bet's to you, paladin.
5
00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:26,517
Two bits.
6
00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:28,653
[Burp]
7
00:01:28,688 --> 00:01:30,455
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
8
00:01:30,490 --> 00:01:31,756
The king.
9
00:01:31,791 --> 00:01:32,890
Judges.
10
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:33,791
5. 5.
11
00:01:33,826 --> 00:01:34,526
Thank you.
12
00:01:34,561 --> 00:01:36,594
A 5 from the communist judge.
13
00:01:36,629 --> 00:01:40,498
Did I tell you guys
about my cousin Leon?
14
00:01:40,533 --> 00:01:43,268
He bought two
mail-order brides
15
00:01:43,303 --> 00:01:44,269
through a catalogue.
16
00:01:44,304 --> 00:01:47,572
UPS delivered them
to his door buck naked.
17
00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:49,874
They both looked
like Michelle Pfeiffer,
18
00:01:49,909 --> 00:01:52,243
except they had
really big heads.
19
00:01:52,278 --> 00:01:55,347
Ok, who wants to chip in
for Arnie's therapy?
20
00:01:55,382 --> 00:01:57,448
He's paying me for that story.
21
00:01:57,484 --> 00:02:02,153
I told you about me dating
that belly dancer, right?
22
00:02:02,188 --> 00:02:03,821
Oh, listen to this.
23
00:02:03,857 --> 00:02:06,290
This chick had
such muscle control,
24
00:02:06,326 --> 00:02:07,626
she could pick up...
25
00:02:07,661 --> 00:02:09,727
Hey, honey.
Jackie, D.J.
26
00:02:09,762 --> 00:02:10,828
Hi, guys.
27
00:02:10,863 --> 00:02:11,696
Hey.
28
00:02:11,731 --> 00:02:14,265
Can I try on my
Halloween costume, mom?
29
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:16,867
Well, hey, go
knock yourself out.
30
00:02:16,903 --> 00:02:19,504
So what were you all saying?
31
00:02:19,539 --> 00:02:20,638
Oh, yeah, I'd, uh...
32
00:02:20,673 --> 00:02:24,442
You could use a
cross-cut saw on that,
33
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:26,911
but I'd use a band saw,
34
00:02:26,946 --> 00:02:28,813
'cause it's a lot easier.
35
00:02:28,848 --> 00:02:31,883
You look like a band saw man.
36
00:02:31,918 --> 00:02:34,718
Hey, you better use
your coasters.
37
00:02:34,754 --> 00:02:37,389
Ha, made you look.
38
00:02:38,458 --> 00:02:39,724
Power tools.
39
00:02:39,759 --> 00:02:42,727
That's their little code for
"Fallopians approaching."
40
00:02:42,762 --> 00:02:43,828
Like we don't know
41
00:02:43,863 --> 00:02:46,564
what goes on when
we leave that room.
42
00:02:46,599 --> 00:02:50,435
They talk about their first
time, their last time,
43
00:02:50,470 --> 00:02:51,736
and how many times.
44
00:02:51,771 --> 00:02:53,972
Then they multiply it by five
45
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:57,208
and spit at each
other and go home.
46
00:02:57,244 --> 00:02:58,176
I wonder why.
47
00:02:58,211 --> 00:03:00,946
We're talking about the
only animal on earth
48
00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:04,049
that would wear black socks
with Bermuda shorts.
49
00:03:04,084 --> 00:03:07,685
[Baby talk] Now, we put
on our little ears.
50
00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:10,555
Why do I have to do this?
51
00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:13,024
Because her needs
a Halloween costume.
52
00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:17,395
I don't want to go
to Dan's stupid lodge
53
00:03:17,430 --> 00:03:19,697
stupid haunted house thing.
54
00:03:19,732 --> 00:03:21,266
But it's for charity.
55
00:03:21,301 --> 00:03:22,301
But it's no fun
56
00:03:22,335 --> 00:03:26,270
having some 60-year-old
guy with a pot belly
57
00:03:26,306 --> 00:03:28,740
jumping at me
saying "ooga booga."
58
00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:32,076
It was scarier now
than when I was 8.
59
00:03:32,111 --> 00:03:35,246
I want to see you
get out there again.
60
00:03:35,281 --> 00:03:38,016
I just broke up with Gary.
61
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:38,783
I'm depressed.
62
00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:41,385
I'm tired and miserable.
63
00:03:41,421 --> 00:03:44,989
I look so cute.
64
00:03:44,991 --> 00:03:47,258
I'll get you, my pretty.
65
00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:48,059
Hey.
66
00:03:48,094 --> 00:03:49,661
You look great.
67
00:03:49,696 --> 00:03:51,029
So scary.
68
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,730
I need a broom.
69
00:03:52,765 --> 00:03:55,299
It's in the kitchen.
70
00:03:56,202 --> 00:03:57,068
Hey, hey.
71
00:03:57,103 --> 00:03:58,436
Look everybody,
D.J.'s a witch.
72
00:03:58,472 --> 00:04:02,740
Why don't you fly upstairs
and put on your pj’s?
73
00:04:02,775 --> 00:04:05,443
I can't fly without a broom.
74
00:04:05,479 --> 00:04:06,644
Sure you can. Look.
75
00:04:06,679 --> 00:04:09,447
Ok. I'll be up
in a minute, champ.
76
00:04:09,483 --> 00:04:12,117
Two daughters isn't
enough for you?
77
00:04:12,152 --> 00:04:14,119
What are you talking about?
78
00:04:14,154 --> 00:04:16,921
He's dressed like a witch.
79
00:04:16,956 --> 00:04:18,356
Witches are girls.
80
00:04:18,391 --> 00:04:20,492
This is the 90s, Dan.
81
00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:22,327
Witches are women.
82
00:04:22,362 --> 00:04:24,629
We can't let him do this.
83
00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:27,098
He got to pick his own costume.
84
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,434
Why not something like a vampire
85
00:04:29,469 --> 00:04:31,402
or a nice ax murderer?
86
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:32,770
Like, um, Lizzie Borden?
87
00:04:32,805 --> 00:04:34,906
There's other
ax murderers, Roseanne.
88
00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:37,641
I get it.
You want him to be
89
00:04:37,677 --> 00:04:40,078
a manly virile stud
of an ax murderer.
90
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:44,315
There's no little sissy ax
murderer for Dan Conner's boy.
91
00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:46,617
Boys shouldn't
dress up like girls.
92
00:04:46,652 --> 00:04:49,421
Darlene dressed up like
a pirate three times.
93
00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:54,092
That was cute. He'll come
home with a bloody nose.
94
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:55,292
That is stupid.
95
00:04:55,328 --> 00:04:58,129
I got to get back in there.
96
00:04:58,165 --> 00:05:00,198
Would you talk to him?
97
00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:00,965
D.J.!
98
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,167
Instead of a witch,
99
00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:06,003
you want to dress up
like Madonna?
100
00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:09,507
I did my best.
101
00:05:16,349 --> 00:05:17,349
Hi, mom.
102
00:05:17,384 --> 00:05:18,015
Yeah.
103
00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:21,852
So how long you going to be?
104
00:05:28,195 --> 00:05:28,893
Ok.
105
00:05:28,928 --> 00:05:30,595
Yeah, I'll tell him.
106
00:05:30,630 --> 00:05:32,129
Ok. Bye.
107
00:05:33,633 --> 00:05:35,132
Dad, mom's still at work!
108
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:39,771
She says she and aunt
Jackie will meet us there!
109
00:05:39,806 --> 00:05:40,972
I'll be right out!
110
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:43,041
Darlene, you're not even ready.
111
00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:45,176
We'll be leaving any minute.
112
00:05:45,211 --> 00:05:47,412
I don't feel so good.
113
00:05:47,447 --> 00:05:48,279
What's wrong?
114
00:05:48,314 --> 00:05:49,948
My stomach.
115
00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:51,649
Oh! Oh, my god!
116
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:52,851
Oh!
117
00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:53,785
Aah!
118
00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:57,521
Aah! Aah!
119
00:05:57,557 --> 00:06:02,360
So do you want some Pepto
Bismol or something?
120
00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:07,198
Ok. Let's get going.
121
00:06:12,905 --> 00:06:14,205
Where's D.J.?
122
00:06:14,241 --> 00:06:16,474
We'll get him.
123
00:06:16,509 --> 00:06:20,211
[Imitating Curly] You don't
look half bad, toots.
124
00:06:20,246 --> 00:06:21,312
Thank you.
125
00:06:21,348 --> 00:06:24,482
I'm supposed to remind you
to bring the brownies.
126
00:06:24,517 --> 00:06:25,884
[Imitating the Three Stooges]
127
00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:27,651
Lamebrain,
you forgot the brownies.
128
00:06:27,687 --> 00:06:29,153
Boink.
Ow... ow... ow.
129
00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:30,721
Hey, leave him alone.
130
00:06:30,757 --> 00:06:32,390
Oh, wise guy, eh?
131
00:06:32,425 --> 00:06:33,024
Nyaaaah.
132
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:35,793
W-w-w-woo...
W-w-w-w-woo...
133
00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:36,427
Woo!
134
00:06:36,462 --> 00:06:39,297
All right, knock it off.
135
00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:46,905
I'll get the brownies.
136
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:51,009
Hey, hey, hey.
137
00:06:51,044 --> 00:06:52,610
Uh, what's this?
138
00:06:52,645 --> 00:06:53,745
It's D.J.
139
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:57,248
I thought you changed your mind?
140
00:06:57,283 --> 00:06:58,082
No.
141
00:06:58,117 --> 00:07:00,551
Well, look, the costume's
great and everything.
142
00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:04,054
Why not just, uh, say
you're a warlock?
143
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:05,622
What's a warlock?
144
00:07:05,658 --> 00:07:07,558
It's a guy witch.
145
00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:08,025
Ok.
146
00:07:08,060 --> 00:07:10,361
Let's get rid of this.
147
00:07:10,396 --> 00:07:10,928
Why?
148
00:07:10,963 --> 00:07:12,563
Warlocks don't have brooms.
149
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:15,333
Then I want to be a witch.
150
00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:17,735
Witches are girls.
Warlocks are guys.
151
00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:20,805
They can do anything
a witch can do.
152
00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:23,007
They can turn people into frogs,
153
00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:26,310
they make thunder and
lightning, Grant wishes.
154
00:07:26,345 --> 00:07:28,246
That's a fairy godmother.
155
00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:30,081
Rrah!
156
00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:31,916
You're not helping.
157
00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:33,585
Ok, look, uh...
158
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:36,787
Oh, hey, look!
It's a magic wand.
159
00:07:36,823 --> 00:07:40,691
You take this and tell
people you're a wizard.
160
00:07:40,726 --> 00:07:42,160
I don't want it.
161
00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:43,861
I don't want anything.
162
00:07:43,896 --> 00:07:45,897
All right. Let's go.
163
00:07:51,738 --> 00:07:52,738
Spread out!
164
00:07:52,772 --> 00:07:54,472
Certainly.
165
00:08:04,684 --> 00:08:07,752
I'm not going in there
dressed like this.
166
00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:09,220
Roseanne, you're
being ridiculous.
167
00:08:09,255 --> 00:08:12,289
You took off your nose
and your ears.
168
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:13,891
Take off your costume.
169
00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:16,027
I'll never get it back on.
170
00:08:16,062 --> 00:08:19,196
Just get in here.
You look adorable.
171
00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:20,832
You really think so?
172
00:08:20,867 --> 00:08:22,934
Get in here.
173
00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:29,406
Oh, I left my purse in the car.
174
00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:30,541
Here's a quarter.
175
00:08:30,576 --> 00:08:35,113
Call Dan, and we can
get out of here.
176
00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:42,987
I feel like I'm having
one of them dreams
177
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:46,090
where you go to school
in your underwear.
178
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:47,492
Come on.
It's Halloween.
179
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:51,562
I'm the only person here
in a costume.
180
00:08:53,532 --> 00:08:56,467
Hello.
Who is this, Eddie?
181
00:08:56,502 --> 00:08:58,636
Oh, Arnie.
182
00:08:58,671 --> 00:09:00,204
Listen, is Dan around?
183
00:09:00,239 --> 00:09:01,338
Could you find him
184
00:09:01,373 --> 00:09:04,208
and tell him that
the car broke down
185
00:09:04,243 --> 00:09:08,245
and to pick me and
Jackie up at the Lobo?
186
00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:09,380
Tell him to hurry.
187
00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:12,650
Trick or treat to you,
too, Arnie.
188
00:09:12,685 --> 00:09:14,552
This will be a while.
189
00:09:14,587 --> 00:09:16,720
We should wait in the car.
190
00:09:16,756 --> 00:09:20,458
It's freezing outside.
I'll buy you a drink.
191
00:09:20,493 --> 00:09:22,059
Ok.
192
00:09:24,697 --> 00:09:26,063
A little help.
193
00:09:26,098 --> 00:09:27,798
What can I get you?
194
00:09:27,833 --> 00:09:29,867
I'll have a white wine.
195
00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:32,269
What about you, fella?
196
00:09:33,673 --> 00:09:36,240
Come on, pal.
I'm busy here.
197
00:09:36,275 --> 00:09:37,642
What are you drinking?
198
00:09:37,677 --> 00:09:41,078
[Deep voice]
Give me a beer.
199
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:47,985
Don't do this.
You'll embarrass us.
200
00:09:48,020 --> 00:09:50,354
Call me Bob.
201
00:09:51,791 --> 00:09:53,758
White wine for the lady,
202
00:09:53,793 --> 00:09:56,026
and a beer for you, pal.
203
00:09:56,061 --> 00:10:00,264
So, uh, how's
the action in here?
204
00:10:00,299 --> 00:10:02,433
Oh.
205
00:10:03,235 --> 00:10:04,735
Action?
206
00:10:08,808 --> 00:10:10,875
Chicks.
207
00:10:11,377 --> 00:10:12,543
I don't know, fella.
208
00:10:12,579 --> 00:10:15,612
Ladies bowling league
comes at 10:00.
209
00:10:15,648 --> 00:10:16,680
10:00, huh?
210
00:10:16,715 --> 00:10:20,951
Good thing I brought my
little squeeze box with me.
211
00:10:20,986 --> 00:10:22,186
Oh...
212
00:10:22,221 --> 00:10:24,388
You're such a pig.
213
00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:29,760
Yeah, but that's why you
like me, right, honeybunch?
214
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:32,029
That'll be 4 bucks.
215
00:10:32,064 --> 00:10:34,431
Pay the man, doll.
216
00:10:35,868 --> 00:10:37,768
Well, why should I pay?
217
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,504
You're the man.
You pay.
218
00:10:39,539 --> 00:10:43,274
You know I left
my purse in the car.
219
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:46,777
Oh, all right.
I'll pay for you again.
220
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:47,845
I don't know why
221
00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:51,882
I always am attracted
to these losers.
222
00:10:51,918 --> 00:10:56,553
Gee, it must be her
time of the month.
223
00:10:58,357 --> 00:11:00,858
Now I know why you're single.
224
00:11:00,893 --> 00:11:02,592
You're such a lousy date.
225
00:11:02,628 --> 00:11:06,763
Look, Bob, I'm going
to go call Dan again.
226
00:11:06,799 --> 00:11:07,531
Fine.
227
00:11:07,566 --> 00:11:08,665
I'm going to mingle.
228
00:11:08,701 --> 00:11:11,101
No, don't. Don't.
You're not serious.
229
00:11:11,137 --> 00:11:14,038
Me and the guys, we're
going to hang out.
230
00:11:14,073 --> 00:11:17,908
You got a problem
with that, babe?
231
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,281
Excuse me.
232
00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:24,082
Um,
233
00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:27,017
you know,
you could do much better.
234
00:11:27,053 --> 00:11:31,088
I don't see you here
with anybody.
235
00:11:31,390 --> 00:11:32,890
You're kidding me?
236
00:11:32,925 --> 00:11:34,258
Honest to god.
237
00:11:34,293 --> 00:11:35,959
This broad was so hot,
238
00:11:35,995 --> 00:11:39,530
I thought she was
going to kill me.
239
00:11:39,565 --> 00:11:40,197
Yeah.
240
00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:43,033
Badda-bing
badda-boom.
241
00:11:44,403 --> 00:11:45,336
So then,
242
00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:48,239
she brings out this
suitcase full of sex toys,
243
00:11:48,274 --> 00:11:50,907
and I'm thinking,
this broad is freaky.
244
00:11:50,943 --> 00:11:54,145
As long as you're getting
your battery charged,
245
00:11:54,180 --> 00:11:55,480
what's the damn difference?
246
00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:58,048
While you're getting
your car washed,
247
00:11:58,083 --> 00:12:00,984
you might as well
get the hot wax.
248
00:12:01,020 --> 00:12:04,288
I want to know what
she wants with you
249
00:12:04,323 --> 00:12:09,894
when she's got a suitcase
full of sex toys.
250
00:12:09,929 --> 00:12:12,696
That supposed to be a joke?
251
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,932
Ok.
252
00:12:16,635 --> 00:12:17,902
Oh.
253
00:12:17,937 --> 00:12:19,937
Well, anyway...
254
00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:22,172
We were going pretty good,
255
00:12:22,208 --> 00:12:24,775
and I was catching my groove,
256
00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:26,610
doing what makes me me,
257
00:12:26,645 --> 00:12:29,146
and then her roommate walks in
258
00:12:29,181 --> 00:12:31,849
and says,
"can I join you?"
259
00:12:31,884 --> 00:12:33,417
Are you kidding me?
260
00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:35,285
Yeah, right.
261
00:12:37,022 --> 00:12:39,256
I mean, way to go!
262
00:12:39,291 --> 00:12:42,292
Then her roommate takes
off all her clothes,
263
00:12:42,328 --> 00:12:46,163
and I got both of
them to deal with.
264
00:12:46,198 --> 00:12:47,298
Hold on a minute.
265
00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:49,467
Let me ask you a question.
266
00:12:49,502 --> 00:12:54,671
Are you making this stuff
up as you go along?
267
00:12:54,907 --> 00:12:57,674
You calling me a liar?
268
00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:00,211
No.
269
00:13:00,646 --> 00:13:01,812
Badda-boom
badda-bing.
270
00:13:01,847 --> 00:13:05,949
Yeah, oh, I mean, long as
you're getting your, uh...
271
00:13:05,985 --> 00:13:09,654
Cue chalked, it don't
matter what ball you hit.
272
00:13:09,689 --> 00:13:12,956
Did I mention these
girls were, uh,
273
00:13:12,992 --> 00:13:14,258
these girls were coeds...
274
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:18,162
Then just keep an eye
out for him, ok?
275
00:13:18,198 --> 00:13:19,263
Hurry up.
276
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,231
Bye.
277
00:13:20,266 --> 00:13:21,199
What?
278
00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:22,234
Oh, man.
279
00:13:22,268 --> 00:13:23,000
What?
280
00:13:23,035 --> 00:13:24,235
Man, it was awesome.
281
00:13:24,270 --> 00:13:26,337
It reminds me of that movie
282
00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:29,207
where that lady hung out
with the gorillas,
283
00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:32,710
but they accept her
as one of their own.
284
00:13:32,745 --> 00:13:35,246
Cool. What did
they talk about?
285
00:13:35,281 --> 00:13:36,847
Well, ok, the head gorilla,
286
00:13:36,882 --> 00:13:40,218
he's like standing around
telling these sex stories,
287
00:13:40,253 --> 00:13:42,086
and the less dominant gorillas
288
00:13:42,121 --> 00:13:44,888
are just standing around
believing it.
289
00:13:44,924 --> 00:13:46,724
What's so new about that?
290
00:13:46,759 --> 00:13:50,828
I think I figured out
why they do it.
291
00:13:50,863 --> 00:13:51,662
Do tell.
292
00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:53,798
If one of them has sex,
293
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:57,635
it seems like the rest
have a chance, too.
294
00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,570
So you think that's it?
295
00:13:59,606 --> 00:14:03,474
It gives them a feeling
of hope and pride.
296
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:05,042
Order me another beer.
297
00:14:05,078 --> 00:14:07,812
Why? Where
are you going?
298
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,213
I'm going to the men's room.
299
00:14:09,248 --> 00:14:12,049
No, Roseanne.
Don't go in there.
300
00:14:12,084 --> 00:14:13,084
Don't do it.
301
00:14:13,119 --> 00:14:17,588
I'm just going to go
update your phone number.
302
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:24,428
God, it stinks in here.
303
00:15:03,369 --> 00:15:05,802
Ahh.
304
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:08,606
Aah.
305
00:15:12,878 --> 00:15:15,646
So how you doing?
306
00:15:16,282 --> 00:15:17,514
Fine.
307
00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:22,553
You watch that, uh,
Blackhawks game on TV?
308
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:23,254
No.
309
00:15:23,289 --> 00:15:26,657
Oh, you're a Bulls fan, eh?
310
00:15:32,498 --> 00:15:33,597
Oh, I get it.
311
00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:37,100
It's like being in an elevator.
312
00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:00,357
Aaauuugh!
313
00:16:00,893 --> 00:16:03,026
Give me a break.
314
00:16:04,196 --> 00:16:06,530
How you doing,
Mr. Thompson?
315
00:16:06,565 --> 00:16:08,399
Hi, girls.
316
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:20,243
This is even lamer
than last year.
317
00:16:20,279 --> 00:16:26,283
But did you see that Freddy
Krueger guy checking me out?
318
00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:30,521
Beck-head, there were
19 Freddy Kruegers.
319
00:16:30,556 --> 00:16:33,390
Which one are you referring to?
320
00:16:33,425 --> 00:16:35,759
The cute one.
321
00:16:36,962 --> 00:16:39,496
This is just great.
322
00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:41,698
Rosie called.
Her car broke down.
323
00:16:41,733 --> 00:16:46,403
She and Jackie need to be
picked up at the Lobo.
324
00:16:46,438 --> 00:16:47,037
Aw, man.
325
00:16:47,072 --> 00:16:49,472
That stupid car.
Hey, Arn?
326
00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:50,174
Yo.
327
00:16:50,209 --> 00:16:54,044
I... who are you
supposed to be?
328
00:16:55,281 --> 00:16:57,747
I'm Elvis' ghost, man.
329
00:17:03,555 --> 00:17:05,689
[Imitating curly]
Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.
330
00:17:05,724 --> 00:17:08,458
Let's go pick up your mom.
331
00:17:08,493 --> 00:17:09,193
Where's D.J.?
332
00:17:09,228 --> 00:17:12,462
I saw him in the chamber
of everlasting horror.
333
00:17:12,498 --> 00:17:15,132
Yeah, whining about
that stupid broom.
334
00:17:15,167 --> 00:17:19,103
Oh, jeez. You guys
wait here, ok?
335
00:17:20,038 --> 00:17:21,905
D.J.
336
00:17:21,940 --> 00:17:23,006
Deej.
337
00:17:23,041 --> 00:17:23,607
Aagh!
338
00:17:23,642 --> 00:17:25,509
Hey, Jimmy,
you seen D.J.?
339
00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:28,445
No, Dan, I haven't seen him.
340
00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:30,214
Deej.
341
00:17:30,249 --> 00:17:31,815
Deej.
342
00:17:31,850 --> 00:17:33,383
D.J.
343
00:17:36,155 --> 00:17:37,020
Hey, Andy,
344
00:17:37,055 --> 00:17:38,155
you seen my boy?
345
00:17:38,190 --> 00:17:41,358
He's dressed up
like a w... wizard.
346
00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:44,762
Give it up, Dan.
The kid's a witch.
347
00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:46,463
Andy, you got three boys.
348
00:17:46,498 --> 00:17:47,964
This is a phase, right?
349
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:51,368
Oh, yeah. The kid
hits a certain age,
350
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:52,970
he does weird stuff.
351
00:17:53,005 --> 00:17:54,404
I think D.J.'s hiding.
352
00:17:54,439 --> 00:17:56,040
I probably traumatized him.
353
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:57,875
He just wanted a broom
354
00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:00,110
so he could pretend to fly.
355
00:18:00,146 --> 00:18:03,012
That probably means
he wants to be a pilot.
356
00:18:03,048 --> 00:18:06,816
You can't turn everything
he does into a career.
357
00:18:06,852 --> 00:18:09,753
It means more to you
than to him.
358
00:18:09,788 --> 00:18:12,756
Yeah, but some kid
might deck him.
359
00:18:12,791 --> 00:18:15,692
We were kids.
We survived, right?
360
00:18:15,727 --> 00:18:17,727
Look at us now.
361
00:18:18,364 --> 00:18:19,796
Dad.
362
00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:23,033
D.J.?
363
00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:24,334
Dad?
364
00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:26,036
D.J. Where you been,
boy?
365
00:18:26,071 --> 00:18:26,803
Scaring people.
366
00:18:26,838 --> 00:18:28,738
Yeah? Well,
you scared me.
367
00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:31,875
I didn't know where you were.
368
00:18:31,910 --> 00:18:33,410
You mad at me?
369
00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:34,345
Nah.
370
00:18:34,380 --> 00:18:35,846
You mad at me?
371
00:18:35,881 --> 00:18:36,880
Nah.
372
00:18:36,882 --> 00:18:39,683
All right. Let's go
get you a broom.
373
00:18:39,718 --> 00:18:41,085
Ok.
374
00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:46,390
Whenever my old lady gives
me crap about equality,
375
00:18:46,425 --> 00:18:49,393
I just tell her,
you're so equal,
376
00:18:49,428 --> 00:18:52,762
let's see you pee on a campfire.
377
00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:53,798
Hey, uh, Bob,
378
00:18:53,832 --> 00:18:59,035
looks like your old lady
just found a new fireman.
379
00:18:59,071 --> 00:19:01,438
Well, we got
an open relationship.
380
00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:04,240
That 'cause you can't
keep her in line?
381
00:19:04,276 --> 00:19:08,846
Well, it's harder to control a
woman who ain't inflatable.
382
00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:10,914
Ooh. Ooh. Ooh.
383
00:19:13,618 --> 00:19:15,418
Yo, bitch!
384
00:19:19,258 --> 00:19:21,191
You're making me look bad
385
00:19:21,227 --> 00:19:23,327
in front of the other guys.
386
00:19:23,362 --> 00:19:27,163
I don't see any ring
on this finger.
387
00:19:30,669 --> 00:19:31,701
Hi, Jackie.
388
00:19:31,737 --> 00:19:32,436
Hi... Crystal?
389
00:19:32,471 --> 00:19:34,237
What are you doing here?
390
00:19:34,272 --> 00:19:36,640
I'm here to drown my sorrows.
391
00:19:36,675 --> 00:19:39,342
Get me a pink squirrel.
Keep them coming.
392
00:19:39,378 --> 00:19:42,913
I had a terrible date,
and it's my fault.
393
00:19:42,948 --> 00:19:44,781
I could have ordered chicken,
394
00:19:44,817 --> 00:19:46,149
which was reasonably priced,
395
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:49,052
but I had to have
the surf and turf,
396
00:19:49,088 --> 00:19:50,821
signaling I owed him something.
397
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:53,723
When I was not
accommodating, he dumped me.
398
00:19:53,759 --> 00:19:56,126
Stop blaming yourself
for everything.
399
00:19:56,161 --> 00:19:58,195
You got a right to eat
400
00:19:58,231 --> 00:20:01,932
without letting some guy
put you on the menu.
401
00:20:01,967 --> 00:20:03,701
You're better than that.
402
00:20:03,736 --> 00:20:04,668
Really?
403
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:07,170
You got to tell yourself
you're a quality woman
404
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:11,308
and stop judging yourself
according to what men think.
405
00:20:11,410 --> 00:20:13,977
What's your name?
406
00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:25,422
Don't you recognize me?
407
00:20:25,457 --> 00:20:28,492
Well, refresh my memory.
408
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:32,262
Where might we have met?
409
00:20:32,698 --> 00:20:34,831
At Roseanne's house?
410
00:20:35,367 --> 00:20:37,301
Roseanne?
411
00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:39,736
Trick or treat.
412
00:20:39,771 --> 00:20:43,173
Well, of course,
I knew it was you.
413
00:20:43,208 --> 00:20:44,607
No, you didn't.
414
00:20:44,643 --> 00:20:45,776
I was playing along.
415
00:20:45,811 --> 00:20:49,846
No. You were ready
to sleep with me.
416
00:20:50,515 --> 00:20:55,185
I was going to make you
buy me dinner first.
417
00:20:56,021 --> 00:20:58,088
Hello, girls.
418
00:20:58,123 --> 00:20:59,756
Bob.
419
00:21:01,493 --> 00:21:02,425
Hey.
420
00:21:02,461 --> 00:21:06,630
Of course you ladies
recognize Warren Beatty.
421
00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:08,232
You want to dance?
422
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:10,300
I'm talking with my friends.
423
00:21:10,335 --> 00:21:11,535
Maybe some other time.
424
00:21:11,570 --> 00:21:14,170
You'd rather sit with burl Ives
425
00:21:14,206 --> 00:21:15,806
than dance with me?
426
00:21:15,841 --> 00:21:16,774
Let's dance.
427
00:21:16,809 --> 00:21:18,008
No, thank you.
428
00:21:18,043 --> 00:21:19,910
I'm not going to bite you.
429
00:21:19,945 --> 00:21:21,745
Unless you want me to.
430
00:21:21,847 --> 00:21:23,614
Oh, Hardy har har.
431
00:21:23,649 --> 00:21:25,849
Hey, nobody's talking to you.
432
00:21:25,884 --> 00:21:27,417
Come on, let's dance.
433
00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:28,852
No. Leave her alone.
434
00:21:28,887 --> 00:21:30,287
I'll dance with him.
435
00:21:30,322 --> 00:21:32,422
You will not.
Sit down!
436
00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:33,556
I'm sick of you.
437
00:21:33,592 --> 00:21:36,826
You've been in my face
all night.
438
00:21:36,862 --> 00:21:38,162
Just take a hike.
439
00:21:38,197 --> 00:21:39,563
Who's going to make me?
440
00:21:39,598 --> 00:21:42,733
Yeah, that's real grown up.
Fight about it.
441
00:21:42,768 --> 00:21:43,734
Fine with me.
442
00:21:43,769 --> 00:21:47,871
Come on, fat boy.
Let's take it outside.
443
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:50,940
Well, she...
She started it.
444
00:21:50,976 --> 00:21:54,978
Ok, ok, I have to
tell you something.
445
00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:56,446
I'm a woman.
446
00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:59,716
You're going to be
when I'm done.
447
00:21:59,751 --> 00:22:00,517
Hey.
448
00:22:00,552 --> 00:22:01,985
Leave him alone.
449
00:22:02,021 --> 00:22:03,487
What's it to you?
450
00:22:03,522 --> 00:22:05,822
He's my husband.
451
00:22:11,063 --> 00:22:11,995
What?
452
00:22:12,031 --> 00:22:16,266
Anybody that messes with
him, messes with me.
453
00:22:25,177 --> 00:22:28,579
Did you want to mess with me?
454
00:22:29,682 --> 00:22:31,582
No way.
455
00:22:32,518 --> 00:22:35,285
Oh, my hero.
456
00:22:35,887 --> 00:22:38,922
Oh, here's a real man for you.
457
00:22:38,957 --> 00:22:41,425
That beard kind of tickles.
458
00:22:41,460 --> 00:22:44,595
Badda-boom badda-bing.
29798
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