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1
00:00:20,787 --> 00:00:21,686
Uhh. Ow.
2
00:00:21,721 --> 00:00:24,922
Uhh, not now, Dan.
3
00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:27,492
Ok, but hurry up.
4
00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:29,060
This mattress is killing me.
5
00:00:29,096 --> 00:00:31,429
I've got a spring
right in my back.
6
00:00:31,465 --> 00:00:32,297
So move.
7
00:00:32,332 --> 00:00:33,898
I tried that.
8
00:00:33,933 --> 00:00:41,933
Try again.
9
00:00:44,644 --> 00:00:46,878
Switch sides with me, Roseanne.
10
00:00:46,913 --> 00:00:48,013
No.
11
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:52,017
Come on. I got
to get some sleep.
12
00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:06,731
I can't sleep with
your hot nostril air
13
00:01:06,766 --> 00:01:08,299
blowing all over me.
14
00:01:08,335 --> 00:01:09,934
Well, turn over.
15
00:01:09,969 --> 00:01:11,469
No. You.
16
00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:13,138
Fine.
17
00:01:19,546 --> 00:01:20,979
Ohh.
18
00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:22,247
What?
19
00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:23,949
I'm still not happy.
20
00:01:23,984 --> 00:01:25,016
Come on.
21
00:01:25,052 --> 00:01:28,019
Help me flip the mattress over.
22
00:01:28,055 --> 00:01:29,988
Ok.
23
00:01:31,458 --> 00:01:34,392
Come on, Roseanne.
You got to get up.
24
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:38,997
You didn't tell me
that was part of it.
25
00:01:47,574 --> 00:01:48,639
Ohh.
26
00:01:48,675 --> 00:01:53,644
Oh, good, good, good, good,
good, good, good, good.
27
00:01:57,584 --> 00:01:58,650
Ow!
28
00:01:58,685 --> 00:02:01,586
We need to get a new bed.
29
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:04,055
You mean a brand new bed?
30
00:02:04,091 --> 00:02:08,059
No. One some
old person died in.
31
00:02:08,094 --> 00:02:10,996
We'll talk about it tomorrow.
32
00:02:11,031 --> 00:02:12,964
Ohh.
33
00:02:15,002 --> 00:02:16,234
Dan...
34
00:02:16,269 --> 00:02:17,335
Now you're all comfy
35
00:02:17,370 --> 00:02:21,973
'cause I got the spring
on my side now.
36
00:02:27,547 --> 00:02:30,482
All right, but hurry up.
37
00:03:55,201 --> 00:03:56,167
Ahem.
38
00:03:56,202 --> 00:03:57,669
Ahem.
39
00:04:03,109 --> 00:04:04,976
[Coughs]
40
00:04:05,011 --> 00:04:06,578
[Coughs]
41
00:04:06,613 --> 00:04:07,579
Stop it.
42
00:04:07,614 --> 00:04:08,312
Stop it.
43
00:04:08,348 --> 00:04:10,749
- I mean it.
- I mean it.
44
00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:13,251
- Cut it out.
- Cut it out.
45
00:04:13,286 --> 00:04:14,452
- Dad.
- Dad.
46
00:04:14,487 --> 00:04:15,119
Huh?
47
00:04:15,154 --> 00:04:16,487
- It's D.J.
- It's D.J.
48
00:04:16,522 --> 00:04:18,456
- I'll kill him.
- I'll kill him.
49
00:04:18,491 --> 00:04:20,525
What's he doing?
50
00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:22,327
- Mom.
- Mom.
51
00:04:22,362 --> 00:04:24,161
Darlene's saying everything D.J.
says
52
00:04:24,197 --> 00:04:27,698
a second before he says it.
53
00:04:30,803 --> 00:04:34,138
God, that's so immature.
54
00:04:34,341 --> 00:04:36,140
He's driving me crazy.
55
00:04:36,176 --> 00:04:36,841
Crazy.
56
00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:39,577
Something might happen to him.
57
00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:41,045
Happen to him.
58
00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:43,614
Darlene, ever try
banging your head
59
00:04:43,649 --> 00:04:45,183
hard against the table?
60
00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:48,819
Maybe he'll knock himself out.
61
00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:50,421
Thank you.
62
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:51,122
Thank you.
63
00:04:51,157 --> 00:04:53,691
- You're dead.
- You're dead.
64
00:04:55,195 --> 00:04:56,494
Whoo.
65
00:04:56,529 --> 00:04:58,329
How's it going?
66
00:04:58,364 --> 00:05:00,731
Whoo.
How's it going?
67
00:05:02,869 --> 00:05:03,901
Funny you should ask.
68
00:05:03,937 --> 00:05:07,639
You know what, Rodbell's
is having a sale on beds.
69
00:05:07,674 --> 00:05:11,810
40% off, and that, coupled
with my 20% employee discount,
70
00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:15,513
I think somebody's trying
to tell us something.
71
00:05:15,549 --> 00:05:16,948
Roseanne...
72
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:18,316
I been thinking.
73
00:05:18,352 --> 00:05:22,220
What if my manly abilities
aren't really mine?
74
00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:25,056
What if it's the mattress?
75
00:05:27,193 --> 00:05:30,395
I thought it was the mattress.
76
00:05:30,430 --> 00:05:33,665
What if I can't wow
you in a new bed?
77
00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:35,299
You didn't have no trouble
78
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:38,869
when we brought home
that new kitchen table.
79
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:42,140
True.
80
00:05:42,642 --> 00:05:46,010
If anybody cares, D.J.'s
head fits really well
81
00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:47,078
in the toilet.
82
00:05:47,113 --> 00:05:51,216
See, Dan? D.J. Is
small for his age.
83
00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:52,850
See ya.
84
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:54,519
Whoa.
Where you going?
85
00:05:54,554 --> 00:05:55,554
I told you, mom.
86
00:05:55,589 --> 00:05:58,790
Mark Healy and I
are going to a party.
87
00:05:58,825 --> 00:05:59,791
Healy?
88
00:05:59,826 --> 00:06:00,792
Healy?
89
00:06:00,827 --> 00:06:01,793
Healy?
90
00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:02,460
Healy?
91
00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:04,395
Do we know any Healys?
92
00:06:04,430 --> 00:06:07,198
Hmm. Does
his father bowl?
93
00:06:07,233 --> 00:06:07,866
Oh, god.
94
00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:09,166
Not a league man, eh?
95
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:14,972
Perhaps we've run into them while
dining at Spaghetti Bucket.
96
00:06:15,775 --> 00:06:16,808
I don't recall, lovey.
97
00:06:16,843 --> 00:06:21,011
Maybe they're not
the all-you-can-eat type.
98
00:06:21,847 --> 00:06:22,847
Oh, god, Dan.
99
00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:25,650
You don't think
they're nouveau poor.
100
00:06:25,685 --> 00:06:26,517
[Horn honks]
101
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:27,485
Please let me go.
102
00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:30,154
It's your first date.
We got to meet him.
103
00:06:30,189 --> 00:06:33,758
Can't you meet him later?
We're in a hurry.
104
00:06:33,794 --> 00:06:34,692
You know the rules.
105
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:37,695
He's waiting. He'll think
I'm ditching him.
106
00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:40,465
Let him come up and find out.
107
00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:42,333
[Knock on door]
108
00:06:42,369 --> 00:06:43,267
Got it.
109
00:06:43,302 --> 00:06:44,768
No, Darlene, no.
110
00:06:44,804 --> 00:06:46,304
We'll embarrass your sister
111
00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:48,640
in an orderly fashion.
112
00:06:57,884 --> 00:07:00,585
God, I hate this family.
113
00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:04,522
What's going on? I've
been honking for an hour.
114
00:07:04,558 --> 00:07:07,559
Sorry. My parents
want to meet you.
115
00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:08,726
Oh, man.
116
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,662
Mom, dad, this is Mark.
117
00:07:10,697 --> 00:07:12,830
Mark, these are my parents.
118
00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:15,499
Hi, Dan Conner,
my wife Roseanne,
119
00:07:15,535 --> 00:07:18,102
and the lovely Darlene.
120
00:07:19,238 --> 00:07:20,304
Ok. Let's go.
121
00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:23,374
Mark, that's not
the way we do things.
122
00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:26,077
So let's sit down
on the Davenport
123
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:29,346
and get to know
each other better.
124
00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:31,616
Huh, honey?
125
00:07:35,655 --> 00:07:37,755
So, uh... Mark...
126
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:40,959
Uh...
What grade you in?
127
00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:42,160
12th.
128
00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:43,261
Ah, great.
129
00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:45,196
Um...
130
00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:47,732
You play football?
131
00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:48,699
Nope.
132
00:07:48,735 --> 00:07:50,000
Oh, too bad.
133
00:07:50,035 --> 00:07:54,338
They really got
a great team this year.
134
00:07:54,373 --> 00:07:56,841
I guess, yeah.
135
00:07:56,877 --> 00:08:00,578
I heard your horn
out there, uh...
136
00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:03,581
What kind of car do you drive?
137
00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:07,585
It's not a car, Dan.
It's a truck.
138
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:11,589
Aha.
139
00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:13,424
Rosie?
140
00:08:15,428 --> 00:08:20,331
Well, Mark, uh...
141
00:08:21,868 --> 00:08:24,034
[Clicking tongue]
142
00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:27,505
Got anything you want to ask us?
143
00:08:27,540 --> 00:08:30,541
Look, mom, we really got to go.
144
00:08:30,577 --> 00:08:32,143
Well, it's been fun.
145
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:33,745
Don't be too late.
146
00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:35,413
Mark, 2 plus 2?
147
00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:36,280
What?
148
00:08:36,315 --> 00:08:38,115
I thought so.
149
00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:41,819
Night, Beck.
Have a good time.
150
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:44,321
Oh, I hate him.
151
00:08:50,897 --> 00:08:52,463
This feels real good.
152
00:08:52,498 --> 00:08:54,131
How much is it?
153
00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:54,766
400...
154
00:08:54,801 --> 00:08:57,635
Too firm.
Way too firm.
155
00:08:58,738 --> 00:09:01,806
Hey, look, Dan.
A water bed.
156
00:09:01,841 --> 00:09:03,007
Oh, how seventies.
157
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:08,179
This is as close to a
pool as we'll ever get.
158
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:10,214
Belly flop!
159
00:09:10,249 --> 00:09:11,315
Wah!
160
00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:13,184
Excuse me.
161
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:14,585
Excuse me.
162
00:09:14,620 --> 00:09:15,653
Excuse me.
163
00:09:15,688 --> 00:09:17,822
Can I help you with something?
164
00:09:17,857 --> 00:09:21,960
Yeah. How about
a couple of margaritas?
165
00:09:23,162 --> 00:09:24,696
No salt.
166
00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:26,330
We're just looking.
167
00:09:26,365 --> 00:09:28,633
I'll be over there.
168
00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:33,638
Honey, get me up.
169
00:09:33,673 --> 00:09:35,205
Oopsy-daisy.
170
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:36,140
Ahh.
171
00:09:36,175 --> 00:09:39,977
Look. A bed like my
mom wanted us to get.
172
00:09:40,012 --> 00:09:41,078
Oh, look at this.
173
00:09:41,113 --> 00:09:44,782
That's twice as big
as the one we got.
174
00:09:44,817 --> 00:09:46,250
Let's pretend we're rich,
175
00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:48,653
and we actually have a room
176
00:09:48,688 --> 00:09:51,955
big enough for
this bed to fit in.
177
00:09:51,991 --> 00:09:52,956
And we're waking up
178
00:09:52,992 --> 00:09:56,260
to the smell of fresh
coffee and croissants
179
00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:58,596
that our sexy French maid...
180
00:09:58,631 --> 00:09:59,764
Ho ho ho ho.
181
00:09:59,799 --> 00:10:03,200
Pierre has made for us.
182
00:10:03,235 --> 00:10:04,235
Hey, Dan.
183
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:08,439
You remember the first
time you said you loved me
184
00:10:08,474 --> 00:10:10,140
on our old bed?
185
00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:10,974
No.
186
00:10:11,010 --> 00:10:12,410
Neither do I.
187
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,445
But I know I did.
188
00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:16,614
And I still do.
189
00:10:18,418 --> 00:10:21,052
Boy, are you whipped.
190
00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:31,663
Should I get the hose?
191
00:10:31,698 --> 00:10:35,667
No, but you can dim the lights.
192
00:10:36,002 --> 00:10:37,334
We're reminiscing.
193
00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:39,670
What a nice word for it.
194
00:10:39,706 --> 00:10:43,541
I see you've decided
on a king-size.
195
00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:46,277
No. We'll take
that double.
196
00:10:47,513 --> 00:10:49,780
And for the lady?
197
00:10:52,685 --> 00:10:56,654
I'll just, uh,
go write it up then.
198
00:10:56,689 --> 00:10:59,724
Way to defend
my honor there, Dan.
199
00:10:59,759 --> 00:11:03,026
It was a shot at me, dear.
200
00:11:03,062 --> 00:11:04,629
Oh.
201
00:11:06,098 --> 00:11:08,298
Good one.
202
00:11:17,243 --> 00:11:19,410
Thank you, Timmy.
203
00:11:20,146 --> 00:11:21,345
A toast.
204
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:22,213
A toast.
205
00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:23,780
To our old bed.
206
00:11:23,816 --> 00:11:25,016
Ok. Well...
207
00:11:25,051 --> 00:11:28,486
What was once the
cradle of our love
208
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:30,287
is now landfill.
209
00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:32,456
That was beautiful.
210
00:11:32,491 --> 00:11:33,957
Who snaked my beer?
211
00:11:33,993 --> 00:11:35,292
Give me that.
212
00:11:35,327 --> 00:11:36,327
Hey. Hey.
213
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:37,728
Isn't that Becky's boyfriend?
214
00:11:37,764 --> 00:11:41,432
What the hell's
he doing in here?
215
00:11:41,467 --> 00:11:42,399
He's drinking.
216
00:11:42,434 --> 00:11:44,001
Where are you going?
217
00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:44,969
To say hello.
218
00:11:45,004 --> 00:11:48,706
No. You'll get mad
and try to punch him.
219
00:11:48,741 --> 00:11:51,242
Wait. Just hold on.
220
00:11:51,744 --> 00:11:53,210
Uh, hey.
221
00:11:53,245 --> 00:11:54,912
Remember us?
222
00:11:54,947 --> 00:11:57,681
Oh, yeah.
223
00:11:58,584 --> 00:12:00,851
Fine. And you?
224
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,786
I'm cool.
225
00:12:02,822 --> 00:12:04,221
Why are you in here?
226
00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:08,726
We're going to have another
one of your little chats?
227
00:12:08,761 --> 00:12:10,194
Chat this!
228
00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:10,761
Honey.
229
00:12:10,796 --> 00:12:12,663
Honey, honey, honey,
honey, honey.
230
00:12:12,699 --> 00:12:15,265
Uh, we were, uh, just wondering
231
00:12:15,301 --> 00:12:17,935
how did you get in here?
232
00:12:17,970 --> 00:12:20,705
Through the door.
233
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:25,242
No. I mean, uh,
you're only 18, right?
234
00:12:25,277 --> 00:12:28,346
I got a piece of paper
that says I'm 21.
235
00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:30,747
How old are you
when you're dating Becky?
236
00:12:30,783 --> 00:12:33,451
Depends on where we're going.
237
00:12:33,953 --> 00:12:34,953
I'll ask you again,
238
00:12:34,987 --> 00:12:38,989
and remember you're talking
to the girl's father.
239
00:12:39,025 --> 00:12:41,259
You're not going to touch me.
240
00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:43,494
Touch him, Dan.
Touch him.
241
00:12:43,529 --> 00:12:44,762
Rosey.
242
00:12:44,797 --> 00:12:47,598
All right, Mark.
Here's the deal.
243
00:12:47,634 --> 00:12:48,733
I don't want you
244
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,601
hanging around
my daughter anymore.
245
00:12:50,636 --> 00:12:53,504
You think you can stop
me from seeing Becky?
246
00:12:53,539 --> 00:12:56,674
I can stop you
from seeing tomorrow.
247
00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:57,775
Me, too.
248
00:12:57,810 --> 00:13:00,644
Fine.
249
00:13:01,047 --> 00:13:06,150
If Becky wants to see
me, she'll see me.
250
00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:08,552
I want to go over to his house
251
00:13:08,587 --> 00:13:12,123
and beat the hell
out of his mother.
252
00:13:16,929 --> 00:13:18,429
Come on, Darlene!
253
00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:20,031
Come on, Darlene.
254
00:13:20,066 --> 00:13:21,532
Let me out!
255
00:13:21,567 --> 00:13:22,800
Let me out.
256
00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:24,802
I won't do it anymore!
257
00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:27,404
I won't do it anymore.
258
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:28,472
Please!
259
00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:29,406
Please.
260
00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:30,641
[Door slams]
261
00:13:30,676 --> 00:13:31,676
Mom? Is that you?
262
00:13:31,710 --> 00:13:35,879
Darlene, what is that
little boy still doing up?
263
00:13:35,914 --> 00:13:36,547
Mom!
264
00:13:36,582 --> 00:13:39,082
We were having so much fun,
265
00:13:39,118 --> 00:13:40,717
I lost track of time.
266
00:13:40,753 --> 00:13:44,155
Nice to see you
two kids getting along.
267
00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:45,623
Dad! Is that you?
268
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,791
D.J., go to bed now.
269
00:13:47,826 --> 00:13:49,260
But, mom!
270
00:13:49,295 --> 00:13:50,427
Now.
271
00:13:50,463 --> 00:13:52,630
All right.
Let's go, squirt.
272
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:56,133
Do it again, and it's the dryer.
273
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:57,701
Becky.
274
00:13:57,736 --> 00:14:00,371
Becky.
275
00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:02,940
Good night, mom.
276
00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:04,408
Good night, mom.
277
00:14:04,443 --> 00:14:06,610
I wasn't doing it.
278
00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:09,881
So, what I do this time?
279
00:14:09,916 --> 00:14:12,182
Nothing.
Amazing, isn't it?
280
00:14:12,217 --> 00:14:13,984
We saw Mark tonight.
281
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,653
Where?
282
00:14:15,655 --> 00:14:17,488
Over at the Lobo drinking.
283
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:20,024
This may come as a shock,
284
00:14:20,059 --> 00:14:22,026
but he's got
a fake ID.
285
00:14:22,061 --> 00:14:26,163
We want you two to stay
away from each other.
286
00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:29,867
Now, come kiss mommy good night.
287
00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:32,369
I just can't believe this.
288
00:14:32,404 --> 00:14:33,170
Believe it.
289
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:35,572
Why? I don't go out
drinking with him.
290
00:14:35,607 --> 00:14:37,007
You never will.
291
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:38,575
It's so typical of you
292
00:14:38,610 --> 00:14:41,512
to butt in where it's
none of your business.
293
00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:44,882
Well, at least we
didn't let you down.
294
00:14:44,917 --> 00:14:46,016
You are our business.
295
00:14:46,051 --> 00:14:49,420
Mark is the greatest
guy I've ever dated!
296
00:14:49,455 --> 00:14:50,588
You don't like him,
297
00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:54,659
and you're just
taking it out on me!
298
00:14:57,997 --> 00:14:58,929
I remember a time
299
00:14:58,964 --> 00:15:02,833
when she was so sweet and
innocent and loving.
300
00:15:02,868 --> 00:15:04,168
I remember that, too.
301
00:15:04,203 --> 00:15:07,672
I believe it was a Thursday.
302
00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:14,044
Listen to this one.
303
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:18,015
"I sometimes get tiny red
pimples on my buttocks
304
00:15:18,050 --> 00:15:19,282
"in the summer.
305
00:15:19,318 --> 00:15:22,686
What can I do
about them?"
306
00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:23,454
That's gross.
307
00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:27,024
I hope you didn't sign
your name this time.
308
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:29,693
No. I signed
your name.
309
00:15:29,728 --> 00:15:31,895
What did it say to do?
310
00:15:31,930 --> 00:15:35,399
Use a healing facial mask.
311
00:15:35,634 --> 00:15:38,768
Ok, I'm going
to pick up that bed
312
00:15:38,804 --> 00:15:41,071
before the store closes.
313
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:41,972
Hey, honey.
314
00:15:42,007 --> 00:15:43,073
On your way back,
315
00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:46,243
pick us up two
healing facial masks...
316
00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:49,679
- For our butts.
- For our butts.
317
00:15:50,682 --> 00:15:52,682
Ok.
318
00:15:52,718 --> 00:15:55,819
Mom, I won't be in for dinner.
319
00:15:55,854 --> 00:15:57,488
I'm going over Judy's.
320
00:15:57,523 --> 00:15:59,756
Get a ride from your dad.
321
00:15:59,791 --> 00:16:02,058
That's ok. I can walk.
322
00:16:02,094 --> 00:16:03,827
Ok.
323
00:16:04,730 --> 00:16:07,631
What are you guys going to do?
324
00:16:07,666 --> 00:16:10,167
Probably just going
to the movies.
325
00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:11,268
There's a great idea.
326
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:14,738
Maybe me and Jackie
will go see something.
327
00:16:14,773 --> 00:16:16,707
Well, we don't really know
328
00:16:16,742 --> 00:16:20,510
if we're going to the movies.
329
00:16:20,546 --> 00:16:22,879
Call me when you're at Judy's
330
00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:25,649
and let us know either way.
331
00:16:25,684 --> 00:16:26,850
Fine.
332
00:16:26,886 --> 00:16:28,318
Oh. You know what?
333
00:16:28,353 --> 00:16:31,054
I forgot my wallet.
334
00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:33,824
Well, there it is.
335
00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:35,258
She's going to see Mark.
336
00:16:35,294 --> 00:16:38,829
The old "going over to my
girlfriend's house" routine.
337
00:16:38,865 --> 00:16:43,567
She's probably up there right
now working on plan B.
338
00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:45,468
Maybe it's a really dumb story,
339
00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:51,675
like "Judy's parents are Amish
and don't have a phone."
340
00:16:52,277 --> 00:16:55,212
I was only 11.
341
00:16:56,181 --> 00:17:01,985
Mom, me and Judy are just
going to a party, ok?
342
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,253
Ok. Hey. Uh...
343
00:17:03,288 --> 00:17:06,256
Is Mark going to be
at this party?
344
00:17:06,291 --> 00:17:10,227
Mom, you told me
never to see him again.
345
00:17:10,262 --> 00:17:12,629
Is that yes or no?
346
00:17:12,664 --> 00:17:14,231
No.
347
00:17:14,266 --> 00:17:16,133
Where's the party?
348
00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:16,934
I'm not sure.
349
00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:20,704
I'll call you later
and give you the number.
350
00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:23,507
We could drive you over there.
351
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:24,575
We're bored.
352
00:17:24,610 --> 00:17:26,976
We may not go to this party.
353
00:17:27,012 --> 00:17:31,415
We'll probably just invite
some girls over to Judy's.
354
00:17:31,450 --> 00:17:34,518
And she goes for the save.
355
00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:36,588
Oh. Ok.
356
00:17:36,622 --> 00:17:38,155
Oh, Becky.
357
00:17:38,190 --> 00:17:39,890
Yeah?
358
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:44,394
Um...
359
00:17:44,430 --> 00:17:45,529
Judy's phone number's
360
00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:49,199
up there on the
bulletin board, right?
361
00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:50,234
Yeah.
362
00:17:50,269 --> 00:17:51,234
Ok.
363
00:17:51,270 --> 00:17:52,135
Ok.
364
00:17:52,171 --> 00:17:53,236
Have fun.
365
00:17:53,272 --> 00:17:54,237
Bye.
366
00:17:54,273 --> 00:17:55,806
Bye.
367
00:17:57,209 --> 00:17:58,475
Well...
368
00:17:58,510 --> 00:17:59,910
There she goes.
369
00:17:59,945 --> 00:18:01,144
Are you worried?
370
00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:02,512
Of course I'm worried.
371
00:18:02,547 --> 00:18:05,115
You want to talk about it?
372
00:18:05,150 --> 00:18:06,449
What's to talk about?
373
00:18:06,485 --> 00:18:09,086
She's out with someone we hate,
374
00:18:09,121 --> 00:18:10,520
going god knows where
375
00:18:10,555 --> 00:18:12,555
and doing god knows what.
376
00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:14,491
Now I feel like mom felt
377
00:18:14,526 --> 00:18:19,930
when she had to watch you
completely destroy your life.
378
00:18:31,310 --> 00:18:33,377
You having fun there, Dan?
379
00:18:33,412 --> 00:18:36,146
Just breaking her in.
380
00:18:36,181 --> 00:18:39,582
Oh, it's time
to call Judy again.
381
00:18:39,618 --> 00:18:42,653
Well, it's been 15 minutes.
382
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:47,457
Hi, Judy.
It's Mrs. Conner.
383
00:18:47,493 --> 00:18:48,692
Last time I called,
384
00:18:48,727 --> 00:18:51,261
I forgot to ask Becky something.
385
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:53,497
She's in the bathroom again?
386
00:18:53,532 --> 00:18:54,831
Well, is she sick?
387
00:18:54,866 --> 00:18:57,167
Maybe we should pick her up.
388
00:18:57,202 --> 00:19:01,238
Ok, I'll call back later then.
389
00:19:01,274 --> 00:19:02,339
Becky's sick?
390
00:19:02,408 --> 00:19:04,308
No. She's with Mark.
391
00:19:04,343 --> 00:19:04,941
What?
392
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:07,411
We told her she
couldn't see him again.
393
00:19:07,446 --> 00:19:10,314
That's why she lied
about being at Judy's.
394
00:19:10,349 --> 00:19:11,815
You let her go?
395
00:19:11,850 --> 00:19:14,584
I had to so I could catch her.
396
00:19:14,620 --> 00:19:18,455
I won't sit here while
she's out with that punk.
397
00:19:18,490 --> 00:19:20,924
I call Judy every 15 minutes.
398
00:19:20,959 --> 00:19:23,627
Judy calls Becky
wherever she is.
399
00:19:23,662 --> 00:19:25,095
Then Becky calls me.
400
00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:27,531
And the point of that is?
401
00:19:27,566 --> 00:19:30,066
To completely ruin
Becky's evening.
402
00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:30,900
See?
403
00:19:30,936 --> 00:19:33,837
And to make sure
that she's all right.
404
00:19:33,872 --> 00:19:37,274
[Telephone rings]
405
00:19:37,776 --> 00:19:39,243
Hiya, Becky.
406
00:19:39,278 --> 00:19:42,579
You like pork chops, don't you?
407
00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:44,948
Ok then.
408
00:19:44,983 --> 00:19:46,650
Fine.
409
00:19:49,121 --> 00:19:51,255
She's fine.
410
00:19:53,826 --> 00:19:57,027
Judy, when you finally
do hear from her,
411
00:19:57,062 --> 00:20:00,063
tell her to get her butt home.
412
00:20:00,099 --> 00:20:03,934
Fine. Let her
live with him.
413
00:20:05,304 --> 00:20:07,403
Forget it, Judy.
414
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:10,807
You're never leaving
this house again.
415
00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:13,076
What are you talking about?
416
00:20:13,111 --> 00:20:14,611
So...
417
00:20:14,646 --> 00:20:17,514
How was your evening?
418
00:20:17,549 --> 00:20:20,917
Ok, you know I wasn't at Judy's.
419
00:20:20,953 --> 00:20:21,953
Oh?
420
00:20:21,987 --> 00:20:23,420
I was at Monica's.
421
00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:25,256
I know you hate her,
422
00:20:25,291 --> 00:20:27,758
so I asked Judy to cover.
423
00:20:27,793 --> 00:20:28,859
That's one.
424
00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:30,260
Where were you?
425
00:20:30,295 --> 00:20:33,063
I told you I was at Monica's.
426
00:20:33,098 --> 00:20:35,065
Ok. Her parents
weren't home.
427
00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:38,435
I knew you guys would be mad.
428
00:20:38,471 --> 00:20:39,803
That's two.
429
00:20:39,839 --> 00:20:40,971
Two what?
430
00:20:41,006 --> 00:20:42,539
Two weeks grounded.
431
00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:44,240
You want three,
432
00:20:44,276 --> 00:20:45,642
or do we hear "Mark"?
433
00:20:45,677 --> 00:20:48,345
You lied, and that
won't happen ever again.
434
00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:50,614
You're never seeing Mark again.
435
00:20:50,649 --> 00:20:52,215
I mean it, Becky!
436
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:53,416
I know.
437
00:20:53,452 --> 00:20:54,551
Don't worry.
438
00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:56,052
Thanks to my mother,
439
00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:58,288
who made me call her
every 15 minutes,
440
00:20:58,323 --> 00:21:02,059
he'll probably never want
to see me again anyway.
441
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:03,227
Probably?
442
00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:06,530
And what if he probably does?
443
00:21:07,132 --> 00:21:11,435
I'm never going
to see him again. Ok?
444
00:21:11,470 --> 00:21:12,336
Ever.
445
00:21:12,371 --> 00:21:17,507
You put us through a
lot of crap tonight.
446
00:21:19,178 --> 00:21:21,244
I'm sorry.
447
00:21:22,047 --> 00:21:23,780
Can I go now?
448
00:21:23,815 --> 00:21:26,016
Yeah. Get upstairs.
449
00:21:31,056 --> 00:21:32,489
You did good.
450
00:21:32,525 --> 00:21:34,091
I did. I did.
451
00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:37,661
You knew exactly where
she was going to be.
452
00:21:37,696 --> 00:21:40,697
And you stayed one
step ahead of her.
453
00:21:40,733 --> 00:21:43,366
Was there ever any doubt, Dan?
454
00:21:43,401 --> 00:21:45,402
I'm the best.
455
00:21:47,005 --> 00:21:49,439
Unfortunately, next time,
456
00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:53,510
I'm going to have
to be even better.
457
00:22:01,620 --> 00:22:03,319
Ooh.
458
00:22:03,922 --> 00:22:07,257
Ahh.
459
00:22:07,292 --> 00:22:10,427
Not too hard?
460
00:22:11,096 --> 00:22:12,596
Not too soft?
461
00:22:12,631 --> 00:22:15,665
Just right.
462
00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:22,038
Well, you know, Dan.
463
00:22:22,073 --> 00:22:25,275
Just because Becky's not
going to see Mark anymore
464
00:22:25,310 --> 00:22:29,413
doesn't mean that she's
ever going to date somebody
465
00:22:29,448 --> 00:22:31,047
that we approve of.
466
00:22:31,082 --> 00:22:36,720
The next guy could be,
like, an ax murderer.
467
00:23:04,750 --> 00:23:11,321
Come on, Mr. Conner.
Let me out.
468
00:23:11,356 --> 00:23:16,660
I promise I won't
see Becky again.
469
00:23:16,695 --> 00:23:22,832
There's no air in here.
470
00:23:22,868 --> 00:23:24,868
Good.
29326
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