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1
00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:57,788
What a brutal fight.
2
00:00:57,824 --> 00:01:01,826
I can't believe that little
Venezuela guy's still standing!
3
00:01:01,861 --> 00:01:02,560
Whoa!
4
00:01:02,595 --> 00:01:04,629
He's down, ladies and gentlemen!
5
00:01:04,664 --> 00:01:08,299
Arturo Guadalupe is down!
6
00:01:08,335 --> 00:01:09,434
Get up, you wimp.
7
00:01:09,469 --> 00:01:11,969
You're not even
bleeding yet. Geez.
8
00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:14,539
Cheer up, Darlene.
Maybe he's dead.
9
00:01:14,574 --> 00:01:18,276
It's over.
Bag him and tag him.
10
00:01:18,311 --> 00:01:21,046
Mom, help me with my hair.
11
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:21,846
What's wrong?
12
00:01:21,881 --> 00:01:24,582
It just lays there
and does nothing.
13
00:01:24,617 --> 00:01:28,119
Trying to look
all grown up for Robert?
14
00:01:28,155 --> 00:01:29,155
Get human.
15
00:01:29,189 --> 00:01:31,589
I hear he does the nasty
with college girls.
16
00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:35,460
Well, I hope he gets
extra credit for that.
17
00:01:35,495 --> 00:01:37,395
He just dated some senior
18
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:39,764
who takes some college classes.
19
00:01:39,799 --> 00:01:41,166
No big deal.
20
00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:42,367
No, of course not.
21
00:01:42,402 --> 00:01:45,236
What do you think,
Dan? Pigtails?
22
00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:46,972
Works for me.
23
00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:49,540
Just forget it.
I'll do it myself.
24
00:01:49,576 --> 00:01:54,613
Good luck covering up those
fresh zits tonight, Princess.
25
00:01:54,648 --> 00:01:59,484
You're just jealous 'cause
I'm anatomically correct.
26
00:01:59,519 --> 00:02:03,354
And I bet you can't
wait to show Robert.
27
00:02:03,389 --> 00:02:05,289
You're such a virgin.
28
00:02:05,325 --> 00:02:07,592
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
29
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,360
You tell them, Dan.
30
00:02:09,395 --> 00:02:12,631
She's pathetic. She's
never even been kissed.
31
00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:17,302
Like I don't have
enough spit of my own.
32
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:20,605
Well, you've been
a lovely couple.
33
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,207
Thanks for playing our game.
34
00:02:22,242 --> 00:02:25,643
You'll die without ever
getting to first base.
35
00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:27,645
Oh, go suck a tongue.
36
00:02:27,681 --> 00:02:29,380
Darlene, go do the dishes.
37
00:02:29,415 --> 00:02:32,984
Becky, go upstairs
and shave something.
38
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:36,120
And, you...
39
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:40,291
They won't always be this cute.
40
00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:42,894
I know. I hear
once they hit 30,
41
00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:45,897
they start developing
their own personalities
42
00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:46,933
and stuff.
43
00:02:47,067 --> 00:02:49,400
Have you talked to Becky
about birth control?
44
00:02:49,436 --> 00:02:53,638
Yeah. I sat her down and
said, "Becky, don't."
45
00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:54,606
Roseanne.
46
00:02:54,641 --> 00:02:57,375
She'll never get undressed
in front of a guy.
47
00:02:57,410 --> 00:03:00,211
She thinks her butt's too big.
48
00:03:00,247 --> 00:03:01,247
I've been thinking.
49
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:03,781
Maybe you should talk to her.
50
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:07,218
Maybe you should talk to her.
51
00:03:10,223 --> 00:03:12,623
Well, good point, my pet.
52
00:03:12,659 --> 00:03:16,294
All right. Maybe I'll
have the talk with her.
53
00:03:16,329 --> 00:03:19,263
We're not telling her
to go have sex.
54
00:03:19,299 --> 00:03:20,731
She doesn't need our permission.
55
00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:24,703
Yeah. Well, tell her
never, never trust guys
56
00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:28,506
because we lie big time.
57
00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:30,075
I had this buddy...
58
00:03:30,110 --> 00:03:31,375
Very successful with ladies.
59
00:03:31,411 --> 00:03:34,412
He'd tell them
they wouldn't get pregnant
60
00:03:34,447 --> 00:03:37,548
if they jumped
up and down afterwards.
61
00:03:37,584 --> 00:03:39,784
Yeah.
Phil Diangelo.
62
00:03:40,820 --> 00:03:44,288
How did you know about that?
63
00:03:44,324 --> 00:03:49,060
You know, I believe I will
have that talk with Becky.
64
00:03:49,096 --> 00:03:51,896
I told you about that, right?
65
00:03:51,931 --> 00:03:53,998
Fine. Fine.
66
00:04:00,974 --> 00:04:02,706
And a 9er for Brian
67
00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:05,310
and a 7 for Chicago skinny
68
00:04:05,345 --> 00:04:08,013
and his faithful
sidekick Shrimpo.
69
00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:10,581
Hey. I ain't
a Shrimpo.
70
00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:13,251
She's just trying to rile us.
71
00:04:13,286 --> 00:04:15,520
These dealers is wily.
72
00:04:15,555 --> 00:04:16,521
Hit me.
73
00:04:16,556 --> 00:04:19,190
All right.
21 on the nose.
74
00:04:19,226 --> 00:04:22,260
No fair. He can add.
75
00:04:22,729 --> 00:04:25,029
What will you yahoos do?
76
00:04:25,064 --> 00:04:26,163
Hit me.
77
00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:28,466
D.J., we got 17.
78
00:04:28,501 --> 00:04:29,968
You never hit 17,
79
00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:33,071
especially when you're
betting five pretzels,
80
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,338
understand?
81
00:04:34,373 --> 00:04:35,306
Yeah.
82
00:04:35,341 --> 00:04:36,674
Hit me.
83
00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:39,444
10 and bust.
Too bad, suckers.
84
00:04:39,479 --> 00:04:43,448
There's a town in the
desert with bright lights
85
00:04:43,483 --> 00:04:45,750
waiting for you, boy.
86
00:04:46,018 --> 00:04:49,020
Too bad you're going
to the movies, dad.
87
00:04:49,055 --> 00:04:51,055
The bulls game will be great.
88
00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:53,058
I'd love to watch the game,
89
00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:57,895
but Debra Winger's coughing
up a lung at the cineplex.
90
00:04:57,931 --> 00:04:58,863
In Dolby.
91
00:04:58,898 --> 00:05:02,067
How come we can't
ever do anything fun
92
00:05:02,102 --> 00:05:03,601
with Gary and Jackie?
93
00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:06,037
Because they're family.
94
00:05:06,073 --> 00:05:08,373
Did you talk to Becky...
95
00:05:08,408 --> 00:05:09,941
I will.
96
00:05:13,580 --> 00:05:15,546
Wow. You
look incredible.
97
00:05:15,582 --> 00:05:17,014
Really?
98
00:05:17,049 --> 00:05:18,248
Yes.
99
00:05:18,284 --> 00:05:20,752
Get in the kitchen.
100
00:05:28,194 --> 00:05:32,196
Um... What do you know
about birth control?
101
00:05:32,232 --> 00:05:34,332
Nothing. I swear. Really.
102
00:05:34,367 --> 00:05:35,233
Oh, no.
103
00:05:35,268 --> 00:05:38,536
This is going to be
like the talk, right?
104
00:05:38,571 --> 00:05:41,939
Here. It's easier
to squirm sitting down.
105
00:05:41,974 --> 00:05:43,841
I'm not sleeping with anyone,
106
00:05:43,876 --> 00:05:46,677
if that's what
you're worried about.
107
00:05:46,712 --> 00:05:48,112
I know that, Becky.
108
00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:51,782
Would you be willing
to swear on a Bible
109
00:05:51,818 --> 00:05:52,951
to make it official?
110
00:05:52,986 --> 00:05:57,655
Mom, I know
all about birth control.
111
00:05:57,691 --> 00:06:00,424
So then you know about
not getting pregnant
112
00:06:00,459 --> 00:06:03,828
by jumping up and
down afterwards?
113
00:06:06,498 --> 00:06:10,101
Brian, let's go shoot some
hoops until the game starts.
114
00:06:10,136 --> 00:06:11,903
Can I come?
115
00:06:11,938 --> 00:06:13,537
No.
116
00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:16,007
Ok.
117
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:16,841
Hey, Gary.
118
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:17,877
Hey, Dan.
119
00:06:17,910 --> 00:06:20,812
Jacks, you and Rosie
pick another female movie
120
00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:22,279
to torture us with?
121
00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:23,180
What's wrong, Dan?
122
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:27,485
Can't handle a little
emotion and sensitivity?
123
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:30,221
Oh, yeah, right.
124
00:06:30,256 --> 00:06:33,224
I love you,
but... I'm dying.
125
00:06:33,259 --> 00:06:34,159
Oh, no.
126
00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:37,162
You can't die because I'm dying.
127
00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:39,798
Oh, really?
What's killing you?
128
00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:42,533
A woman's disease.
129
00:06:42,568 --> 00:06:44,836
Hey, me, too.
130
00:06:46,506 --> 00:06:51,609
Yeah. Like they'd really
have the same disease.
131
00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:53,544
Where's Roseanne?
132
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:54,812
Kitchen.
Giving Becky
133
00:06:54,847 --> 00:06:57,915
the zero population
growth speech.
134
00:06:57,950 --> 00:06:58,516
Really?
135
00:06:58,552 --> 00:07:01,152
Maybe she could use some help.
136
00:07:01,187 --> 00:07:02,187
I'm not bragging,
137
00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:07,091
but when it comes to birth
control, I've tried...
138
00:07:07,293 --> 00:07:11,796
To read just about every
book on the subject.
139
00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:13,998
Hi.
140
00:07:14,033 --> 00:07:15,499
Hi, Jackie.
141
00:07:15,534 --> 00:07:17,869
Beat it.
We're talking.
142
00:07:17,904 --> 00:07:18,770
Oh.
143
00:07:18,805 --> 00:07:21,639
Well, I'm going to get
a glass of water.
144
00:07:21,674 --> 00:07:24,208
I have to go in the store
145
00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:25,743
and buy condoms myself?
146
00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,044
God, how embarrassing.
147
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:28,980
You don't have to buy them.
148
00:07:29,015 --> 00:07:31,515
You could use the rhythm method.
149
00:07:31,551 --> 00:07:33,051
Oh, does it work?
150
00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:35,419
Ask your brother.
151
00:07:45,265 --> 00:07:47,265
Thirsty.
152
00:07:48,535 --> 00:07:49,800
What about the sponge?
153
00:07:49,835 --> 00:07:52,403
Is that pretty much foolproof?
154
00:07:52,439 --> 00:07:55,073
Well, I don't
have any statistics
155
00:07:55,108 --> 00:07:57,408
on this kind of stuff...
156
00:07:57,444 --> 00:07:59,110
Um-hum.
157
00:07:59,779 --> 00:08:04,549
But then why not hear
it from an expert?
158
00:08:04,584 --> 00:08:06,317
You're on, professor Jackie.
159
00:08:06,352 --> 00:08:08,453
Well, if you're sure.
160
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:09,587
I'm not.
161
00:08:09,622 --> 00:08:10,320
All right.
162
00:08:10,356 --> 00:08:12,656
Now, although
some of your sponges
163
00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:14,759
can help prevent some disease,
164
00:08:14,794 --> 00:08:18,562
they're only about 80%
effective against pregnancy,
165
00:08:18,598 --> 00:08:24,301
so better still is your
condom-sponge combo.
166
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:27,839
Used correctly, we're
talking Fort Knox security
167
00:08:27,874 --> 00:08:31,442
at a price you can afford.
168
00:08:32,111 --> 00:08:34,411
I'm telling mom.
169
00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:38,816
But doesn't all that
stuff kill the mood?
170
00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:39,750
Not as much
171
00:08:39,785 --> 00:08:43,921
as a screaming baby
with a loaded diaper.
172
00:08:45,624 --> 00:08:48,059
[Knock on door]
173
00:08:48,094 --> 00:08:49,493
Oh, that's Robert.
174
00:08:49,528 --> 00:08:51,028
We're through, right?
175
00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:52,129
Well, you tell me.
176
00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:54,832
I'm still not
going to do anything.
177
00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:58,669
Well, now that's 100% effective.
178
00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:02,173
Yeah. Uh...
179
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:04,976
Mom couldn't talk to us
about birth control.
180
00:09:05,011 --> 00:09:06,945
She couldn't even
talk about sex.
181
00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:12,850
Sex. She told me it was
something people did in Europe.
182
00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:16,387
She did try and talk
about it once, remember?
183
00:09:16,423 --> 00:09:20,891
She said if we let
a boy go all the way,
184
00:09:20,927 --> 00:09:24,028
then we would be called
loose or slutty,
185
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:27,699
like that was going to stop us.
186
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:32,603
She should have told us
we'd be called mommy.
187
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:34,438
So...
188
00:09:34,473 --> 00:09:37,374
What did you tell your girls?
189
00:09:37,409 --> 00:09:38,175
What?
190
00:09:38,210 --> 00:09:39,176
About having sex.
191
00:09:39,211 --> 00:09:43,080
You were right there.
You heard what I said.
192
00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:44,782
That was birth control.
193
00:09:44,817 --> 00:09:45,817
Same thing.
194
00:09:45,852 --> 00:09:47,284
It is not.
195
00:09:47,319 --> 00:09:48,218
It is, too.
196
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:51,188
Roseanne, I'm not
talking about mechanics.
197
00:09:51,223 --> 00:09:52,289
I'm talking about
198
00:09:52,324 --> 00:09:55,392
when a guy kisses you
behind your ear,
199
00:09:55,427 --> 00:09:57,895
and you start getting all weird.
200
00:09:57,930 --> 00:10:01,799
These are my daughters you're
talking about, Jackie.
201
00:10:01,834 --> 00:10:03,134
Roseanne, I'm amazed.
202
00:10:03,169 --> 00:10:05,903
This isn't like you at all.
203
00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:07,271
You know who?
204
00:10:07,306 --> 00:10:09,874
I am not like mom!
205
00:10:15,748 --> 00:10:16,881
Give us a break.
206
00:10:16,916 --> 00:10:19,316
Jordan's missed three in a row.
207
00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:22,520
It looks like
he's pushing the ball.
208
00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:24,555
He should be popping it.
209
00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:26,524
So he gets more backspin.
210
00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:27,692
Time out. Bulls.
Finally.
211
00:10:27,727 --> 00:10:31,161
Oh, great. Here come
the bimbo cheerleaders.
212
00:10:31,197 --> 00:10:35,165
Maybe he's not getting
enough arc on the ball.
213
00:10:35,201 --> 00:10:37,668
What do you think, Brian?
214
00:10:37,704 --> 00:10:39,303
Brian?
215
00:10:39,338 --> 00:10:40,271
Huh?
216
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:41,405
You actually like
217
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:43,741
watching those
dancing potato heads?
218
00:10:43,776 --> 00:10:45,109
Well, I don't know.
219
00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:48,646
Oh, wow. They're all
doing splits.
220
00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:52,450
Oh, did I say potato heads?
221
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:55,386
I was wrong. I must
have meant geniuses.
222
00:10:55,421 --> 00:10:58,989
So, uh, what about the
cheerleaders at school?
223
00:10:59,024 --> 00:11:00,424
What about them?
224
00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:02,826
You think they're pretty?
225
00:11:02,862 --> 00:11:04,161
Yeah. Some of them.
226
00:11:04,197 --> 00:11:07,231
You won't believe what Vicki
Womack said yesterday.
227
00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:10,868
She said I should try
out for cheerleader.
228
00:11:10,903 --> 00:11:13,471
Good one.
229
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,039
Yeah.
That's what I said.
230
00:11:15,074 --> 00:11:18,543
I'm not even close to being
pretty enough, right?
231
00:11:18,578 --> 00:11:21,746
You're just not the
right type, that's all.
232
00:11:21,781 --> 00:11:24,114
I think cheerleaders are stupid.
233
00:11:24,150 --> 00:11:26,150
Yeah. Me, too.
234
00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:27,584
Hey, Brian.
235
00:11:27,619 --> 00:11:29,253
What?
236
00:11:31,090 --> 00:11:32,556
What was that for?
237
00:11:32,591 --> 00:11:35,592
For thinking
cheerleaders are stupid.
238
00:11:35,627 --> 00:11:36,093
Oh.
239
00:11:36,128 --> 00:11:38,495
Well, I don't think
they're stupid.
240
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:41,498
I think they're complete idiots.
241
00:11:53,579 --> 00:11:57,581
That movie was so sad,
so warm, so loving.
242
00:11:57,617 --> 00:11:58,950
I want a beer.
243
00:11:58,985 --> 00:12:01,219
They're in the trunk.
244
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:09,193
Becky's in the front room
with a boy.
245
00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:10,861
Oh...
246
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,534
Becky.
247
00:12:22,041 --> 00:12:24,175
Darlene?
248
00:12:24,643 --> 00:12:26,844
Hi, mommy.
249
00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:31,949
Uh, we'd better go.
Come on.
250
00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:34,185
Are you crazy?
251
00:12:34,220 --> 00:12:38,255
Hey, sports fans.
How was the game?
252
00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:43,127
Yeah. I'd like to
hear the final score.
253
00:12:43,162 --> 00:12:46,430
The Bulls lost, I think.
254
00:12:46,465 --> 00:12:48,332
What, you guys been wrestling?
255
00:12:48,367 --> 00:12:52,370
What did she do, Bri,
pin you down?
256
00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:56,174
Brian, it's been fun
watching the game with you,
257
00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:59,009
but it's time
for you to go home.
258
00:12:59,045 --> 00:13:04,081
Bye, Darlene.
See you at school tomorrow.
259
00:13:04,817 --> 00:13:06,250
Ok.
260
00:13:06,986 --> 00:13:08,419
Hey.
261
00:13:10,122 --> 00:13:12,423
Come back soon, buddy.
262
00:13:15,061 --> 00:13:16,426
I'll be upstairs.
263
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:18,829
Good night, kiddo.
264
00:13:23,569 --> 00:13:24,702
What?
265
00:13:24,737 --> 00:13:28,272
Dan, they were making out.
266
00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:32,109
Right.
267
00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:36,347
Did you notice how her
blouse was, uh...
268
00:13:36,382 --> 00:13:41,619
Like it hadn't been
on her back the whole night.
269
00:13:47,826 --> 00:13:51,295
That's great.
That's just great.
270
00:13:53,599 --> 00:13:54,565
Where are you going?
271
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:58,235
I want to make sure
Brian gets home all right.
272
00:13:58,270 --> 00:14:02,940
Yeah. Some big guy in a
truck might plow him over.
273
00:14:02,975 --> 00:14:06,010
What, did you forget
your shotgun?
274
00:14:06,045 --> 00:14:06,844
Darlene!
275
00:14:06,879 --> 00:14:09,112
Yelling at her won't
solve anything.
276
00:14:09,148 --> 00:14:13,884
I want to explain that
she's not to touch boys.
277
00:14:13,919 --> 00:14:15,018
If you do that,
278
00:14:15,054 --> 00:14:17,355
she'll have a family of four
279
00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:19,357
by the time she graduates.
280
00:14:19,392 --> 00:14:20,257
Yeah?
281
00:14:20,292 --> 00:14:22,426
Go to your room.
282
00:14:23,395 --> 00:14:26,130
It's really not all that bad.
283
00:14:26,132 --> 00:14:28,031
Not now, Jackie, all right?
284
00:14:28,066 --> 00:14:29,032
I was her age
285
00:14:29,068 --> 00:14:32,603
when Doug Brock got
to second base with me.
286
00:14:32,638 --> 00:14:35,072
It was during a football game.
287
00:14:35,107 --> 00:14:37,608
We were under a big blanket.
288
00:14:37,643 --> 00:14:40,243
Honey, buy me a cup of coffee?
289
00:14:40,279 --> 00:14:44,215
I'm helping, Gary.
290
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:48,152
I'll be at home if you need me.
291
00:14:48,187 --> 00:14:50,054
Take it easy, Dan.
292
00:14:50,089 --> 00:14:51,422
Yeah.
293
00:14:52,091 --> 00:14:55,526
Roseanne,
Darlene's 14 years old.
294
00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:57,294
Well, Becky was 14
295
00:14:57,329 --> 00:14:59,463
when she started...
dating.
296
00:14:59,498 --> 00:15:00,998
Becky's not Darlene.
297
00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:02,165
She's not stupid enough
298
00:15:02,201 --> 00:15:05,769
to get caught groping
on her parents' couch.
299
00:15:05,805 --> 00:15:06,937
I don't mean that.
300
00:15:06,973 --> 00:15:09,439
Darlene's different.
She plays sports.
301
00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:12,677
Well, she's got a new sport.
302
00:15:13,946 --> 00:15:15,078
You're just all upset
303
00:15:15,114 --> 00:15:18,048
because you and Darlene
are so close.
304
00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:19,783
I'm close with Becky, too.
305
00:15:19,819 --> 00:15:23,153
You never got upset
about Becky doing this.
306
00:15:23,188 --> 00:15:24,154
Becky's older.
307
00:15:24,189 --> 00:15:25,790
No. It's about the fact
308
00:15:25,825 --> 00:15:28,926
that you all watch games
on TV together
309
00:15:28,961 --> 00:15:31,228
and work in the yard together,
310
00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:35,399
and you shoot hoopies
out in the driveway.
311
00:15:37,236 --> 00:15:39,236
Hoopies.
312
00:15:40,272 --> 00:15:42,706
I'm not excited about it either,
313
00:15:42,742 --> 00:15:45,942
but it's not
the end of the world.
314
00:15:45,978 --> 00:15:47,811
I mean, face it, honey.
315
00:15:47,847 --> 00:15:51,248
Your son is becoming a woman.
316
00:15:52,818 --> 00:15:53,784
Hi.
317
00:15:53,819 --> 00:15:55,519
How did it go?
318
00:15:55,554 --> 00:15:56,320
Great.
319
00:15:56,355 --> 00:16:00,057
I'm going upstairs and
jump up and down now.
320
00:16:05,732 --> 00:16:08,465
Good night, Becky.
321
00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:13,904
Oh, it's just you.
322
00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:15,572
Sorry.
323
00:16:16,242 --> 00:16:17,975
How was your date?
324
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,677
Well, he's a great kisser,
325
00:16:19,712 --> 00:16:22,579
not that you'd
know the difference.
326
00:16:22,614 --> 00:16:24,915
Did you get felt up?
327
00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:26,183
No.
328
00:16:26,218 --> 00:16:28,085
I did.
329
00:16:33,893 --> 00:16:35,793
I don't believe you.
330
00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:38,395
Me and Brian made out tonight.
331
00:16:38,430 --> 00:16:40,497
What? You never
even went out.
332
00:16:40,532 --> 00:16:43,567
So? We played basketball
almost every day.
333
00:16:43,602 --> 00:16:44,868
It's not the same thing.
334
00:16:44,903 --> 00:16:49,273
How do you know he won't
tell everybody at school?
335
00:16:49,308 --> 00:16:52,576
I told him
I'd punch his face in.
336
00:16:52,611 --> 00:16:55,079
That could work.
337
00:16:55,114 --> 00:16:57,214
Mom and Dad caught us.
338
00:16:57,249 --> 00:16:59,383
Oh, god.
Did they freak?
339
00:16:59,418 --> 00:17:00,717
Not yet.
340
00:17:00,752 --> 00:17:04,020
So how was it?
341
00:17:04,056 --> 00:17:05,956
The kissing was pretty good.
342
00:17:05,991 --> 00:17:08,692
Well, what about
the other stuff?
343
00:17:08,727 --> 00:17:09,893
Better than volleyball
344
00:17:09,928 --> 00:17:12,796
and yet not quite
as good as hockey.
345
00:17:12,831 --> 00:17:15,765
Look, Darlene, you can't
be doing this, ok?
346
00:17:15,801 --> 00:17:19,736
You got to make guys
treat you a certain way.
347
00:17:19,771 --> 00:17:21,171
You call the shots.
348
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:22,906
Make them beg, right?
349
00:17:22,941 --> 00:17:24,808
Basically.
350
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:29,447
My dainty daughters.
351
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:32,116
Oh, I'm so proud of you.
352
00:17:32,151 --> 00:17:34,451
How long have you been spying?
353
00:17:34,486 --> 00:17:36,720
15 years. I'm getting good, huh?
354
00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:39,957
So is it official?
Am I grounded forever?
355
00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:43,293
Why, no. We're throwing a
special debutante party
356
00:17:43,328 --> 00:17:45,129
to celebrate
this special moment.
357
00:17:45,164 --> 00:17:48,465
Your dad's on the phone
hiring the band.
358
00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:51,869
Great. Torture me,
then ground me.
359
00:17:54,640 --> 00:18:00,377
I want you to tell me
all about it, lover girl.
360
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:03,413
Wait. I have
a better idea.
361
00:18:03,449 --> 00:18:04,381
Don't tell me,
362
00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:09,053
and I'll be surprised
when I read your diary.
363
00:18:09,555 --> 00:18:12,222
You're hysterical.
364
00:18:13,325 --> 00:18:17,027
So you really go for
this dating stuff, huh?
365
00:18:17,063 --> 00:18:20,397
I wanted to see
what it was like,
366
00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:21,364
so I kissed him.
367
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:24,735
I didn't have to drown
my face in mascara
368
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:26,103
like some Barbie dolls
369
00:18:26,138 --> 00:18:27,504
who shall remain nameless.
370
00:18:27,539 --> 00:18:30,140
So you really showed Becky, huh?
371
00:18:30,175 --> 00:18:32,275
That's not why I did it.
372
00:18:32,311 --> 00:18:35,278
At first, maybe, but
then it was different.
373
00:18:35,314 --> 00:18:39,516
And then, maybe, things
went a little too far?
374
00:18:39,551 --> 00:18:40,584
Maybe.
375
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:44,088
You think he'll ever
talk to me again?
376
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,956
Well, you did use him
377
00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:48,692
like a cheap piece of meat.
378
00:18:48,728 --> 00:18:51,528
Guys love that.
379
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:53,930
What about you and Robert?
380
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:56,733
Any wedding plans
I should know about
381
00:18:56,769 --> 00:18:59,036
while your dad's
hiring the band?
382
00:18:59,071 --> 00:19:03,574
Oh, right. Like I'll let
him pick the music.
383
00:19:05,711 --> 00:19:07,745
Listen...
384
00:19:08,781 --> 00:19:10,748
Girls.
385
00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:17,420
Sex...
386
00:19:19,725 --> 00:19:22,926
Is something that...
387
00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:26,296
Is not even going to be good
388
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:28,698
until, you know, you're older.
389
00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:29,966
Mother.
390
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:32,902
No, no. We've never really
talked about sex,
391
00:19:32,938 --> 00:19:36,239
and I think
we should discuss it now.
392
00:19:36,274 --> 00:19:38,175
All right. Go ahead.
393
00:19:38,210 --> 00:19:40,577
Well, ok. Um...
394
00:19:41,346 --> 00:19:46,216
Well, if you were,
to, like, do it now,
395
00:19:46,251 --> 00:19:48,519
sure you'd have some pleasure,
396
00:19:48,554 --> 00:19:50,020
but...
397
00:19:52,591 --> 00:19:55,025
It would be a lot better if...
398
00:19:55,060 --> 00:19:59,062
You're saying we're too
young to go all the way.
399
00:19:59,097 --> 00:20:02,999
Your body and your mind
have to reach maturity.
400
00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:03,667
Yeah.
401
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,368
You don't want to regret it.
402
00:20:05,404 --> 00:20:07,204
You have to love the guy.
403
00:20:07,239 --> 00:20:10,241
Yeah.
And, you know...
404
00:20:10,276 --> 00:20:12,175
You'd like to make sure...
405
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,711
That you respect him.
406
00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:15,212
Or it's meaningless.
407
00:20:15,248 --> 00:20:16,480
And he respects you.
408
00:20:16,515 --> 00:20:18,448
And he respects you.
Right.
409
00:20:18,484 --> 00:20:20,351
It's a beautiful thing.
410
00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:21,652
Right.
411
00:20:21,687 --> 00:20:23,821
Well, then.
412
00:20:24,857 --> 00:20:27,891
Well, I guess I feel really good
413
00:20:27,927 --> 00:20:29,259
about our little chat.
414
00:20:29,294 --> 00:20:32,162
You guys feel good about it?
415
00:20:32,197 --> 00:20:33,063
Oh...
416
00:20:33,098 --> 00:20:33,964
Absolutely.
417
00:20:33,999 --> 00:20:35,499
- Definitely.
- Definitely.
418
00:20:35,534 --> 00:20:38,035
Well... Well,
that's great, then.
419
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:39,903
All right. That's great.
420
00:20:39,939 --> 00:20:42,172
Ok. Well,
good night, girls.
421
00:20:42,207 --> 00:20:43,674
Good night, mom.
422
00:20:43,709 --> 00:20:45,509
I love you, mom.
423
00:20:45,544 --> 00:20:47,745
I love you, too.
424
00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:48,746
Good night.
425
00:20:48,781 --> 00:20:50,647
Good night.
426
00:20:50,682 --> 00:20:51,882
How lame.
427
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:54,184
Oh, geez.
428
00:21:13,438 --> 00:21:14,838
Hi.
429
00:21:14,873 --> 00:21:16,106
Come on.
430
00:21:16,141 --> 00:21:19,476
Try to get by me.
Let's go.
431
00:21:19,511 --> 00:21:21,178
Let's go.
432
00:21:21,213 --> 00:21:22,813
Let's go.
433
00:21:23,248 --> 00:21:25,916
Ok. My turn.
434
00:21:26,385 --> 00:21:28,252
Roseanne.
435
00:21:28,487 --> 00:21:31,055
I don't need a pep talk.
436
00:21:31,090 --> 00:21:33,290
No. I want
to shoot hoopies.
437
00:21:33,325 --> 00:21:36,192
See if you can get by me.
438
00:21:36,228 --> 00:21:38,127
Ok.
Give it to me.
439
00:21:38,163 --> 00:21:40,330
I'll inbound it to you.
440
00:21:40,365 --> 00:21:41,197
What's inbound?
441
00:21:41,232 --> 00:21:43,500
Another word for sucker.
442
00:21:47,740 --> 00:21:50,741
Did you tell Darlene
about the...
443
00:21:50,776 --> 00:21:54,277
I told her to slow down.
444
00:21:54,312 --> 00:21:54,845
That all?
445
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:56,680
I told both of them
446
00:21:56,715 --> 00:21:59,182
that sex wouldn't be that great
447
00:21:59,217 --> 00:22:01,485
till they were, like, 27.
448
00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:03,053
27?
449
00:22:03,088 --> 00:22:05,588
Well, maybe that's just me.
450
00:22:05,624 --> 00:22:10,294
You were there for me.
That's all that's important.
451
00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:13,696
No matter what I told them,
452
00:22:13,732 --> 00:22:17,500
that can't compare to what
they're telling each other.
453
00:22:17,535 --> 00:22:21,171
Want to make some popcorn
and go listen?
454
00:22:21,207 --> 00:22:22,573
No.
455
00:22:22,608 --> 00:22:24,641
You want to watch TV?
456
00:22:24,676 --> 00:22:27,310
Bonanza's on.
457
00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:29,980
Nah. I'll
hang out down here
458
00:22:30,015 --> 00:22:32,615
and sink some more, ok?
459
00:22:32,651 --> 00:22:34,751
Ok.
460
00:22:57,376 --> 00:23:00,711
So, dad...
461
00:23:00,746 --> 00:23:04,047
Want to take the Bears
for a buck?
462
00:23:04,083 --> 00:23:06,349
Nah. That's ok.
463
00:23:14,627 --> 00:23:15,526
How many points you giving?
464
00:23:15,561 --> 00:23:16,326
6.
465
00:23:16,361 --> 00:23:17,761
Paper said 7.
466
00:23:17,797 --> 00:23:20,564
6 1/2.
I'll get the sodas.
467
00:23:21,567 --> 00:23:24,434
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
He's going deep.
468
00:23:24,470 --> 00:23:25,702
Oh, he dropped it.
469
00:23:25,737 --> 00:23:27,237
Man, great pass, though.
470
00:23:27,273 --> 00:23:29,072
Montana is definitely on.
471
00:23:29,107 --> 00:23:32,376
He's got the best arm
in the league.
472
00:23:32,411 --> 00:23:40,411
And a nice butt, too.
31086
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