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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:03,292 --> 00:01:04,584 Toyota, Audi, Mercedes... 2 00:01:04,584 --> 00:01:07,834 they've been after my dealership for 10 years. 3 00:01:07,834 --> 00:01:09,167 Then why not sell? 4 00:01:09,167 --> 00:01:11,667 Papa would turn in his grave. 5 00:01:11,667 --> 00:01:14,042 At your age, you should enjoy life. 6 00:01:14,042 --> 00:01:17,542 But I am. See the convertible blocking the garage? 7 00:01:17,542 --> 00:01:19,126 Your garage is blocked? 8 00:01:19,126 --> 00:01:22,209 I mean the red car parked out front. 9 00:01:22,209 --> 00:01:25,251 The latest Lancia Flavia. V6 engine, 10 00:01:25,251 --> 00:01:28,001 3.6-liters, 283 horsepower. 11 00:01:28,001 --> 00:01:30,126 It's sold. I deliver it Monday. 12 00:01:30,126 --> 00:01:34,709 Want to take a spin out to the Deauville casino? 13 00:01:34,709 --> 00:01:38,376 Excuse me. 14 00:01:38,376 --> 00:01:40,084 Yes, Irene. 15 00:01:40,084 --> 00:01:43,251 Hurry, I'm with a client. 16 00:01:43,251 --> 00:01:46,417 What? 17 00:01:46,417 --> 00:01:48,417 Mr. Borgnoli! 18 00:01:48,417 --> 00:01:54,751 You can't leave like that! 19 00:01:54,751 --> 00:01:58,209 Quick, the car keys! 20 00:01:58,209 --> 00:02:02,126 Quick, quick. The keys! 21 00:02:02,126 --> 00:02:04,709 Rinse it or it'll come out too red. 22 00:02:04,709 --> 00:02:17,167 - I have no choice. - Really, really red! 23 00:02:17,167 --> 00:02:22,001 You Can't Choose Your Family 24 00:02:41,001 --> 00:02:45,042 Their fast cars don't even move! I can't believe it. 25 00:03:06,542 --> 00:03:08,042 You can't do this! 26 00:03:08,042 --> 00:03:10,042 Where is he, Irene? 27 00:03:10,042 --> 00:03:11,792 In your office. 28 00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,959 What's that dripping? 29 00:03:13,959 --> 00:03:15,959 Nothing! This is no time! 30 00:03:15,959 --> 00:03:17,251 Mr. Borgnoli? 31 00:03:17,251 --> 00:03:19,376 You can't take my cars away. 32 00:03:19,376 --> 00:03:22,042 Irene, lie down in front of the truck! 33 00:03:22,042 --> 00:03:23,917 I have a writ. 34 00:03:23,917 --> 00:03:26,376 No payment, no merchandise. It's normal. 35 00:03:26,376 --> 00:03:27,959 What do I sell now? Oysters? 36 00:03:27,959 --> 00:03:29,251 Look, 37 00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:32,792 I'll settle this fast. Let me call the bank. 38 00:03:32,792 --> 00:03:35,501 Hello, Mrs. Flappy? Cesar Borgnoli. 39 00:03:35,501 --> 00:03:38,001 I'm with... What's your name? 40 00:03:38,001 --> 00:03:40,084 Chaumeil & Berton debt-collectors. 41 00:03:40,084 --> 00:03:43,334 Reassure Mr. Burton about my bank guarantees. 42 00:03:43,334 --> 00:03:46,959 Here he is. 43 00:03:46,959 --> 00:03:49,084 Mr. Chaumeil speaking. 44 00:03:49,084 --> 00:03:51,584 The debt comes to 234,000 euros. 45 00:03:51,584 --> 00:03:54,251 That's nothing in my business. 10 cars. 46 00:03:54,251 --> 00:03:57,459 Take the cars down, fella! It's settled! 47 00:03:57,459 --> 00:03:59,667 Fine. Have a nice day, madam. 48 00:03:59,667 --> 00:04:03,376 Papa's bank since '56. They're terrific. What'd she say? 49 00:04:03,376 --> 00:04:06,334 That they're cutting you off. 50 00:04:06,334 --> 00:04:07,876 I'm sorry, sir. 51 00:04:07,876 --> 00:04:10,792 It's okay! Keep loading. 52 00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:13,126 We take the two Deltas inside, too? 53 00:04:13,126 --> 00:04:14,459 Of course! 54 00:04:14,459 --> 00:04:17,251 - Please, ma'am. - I won't move! 55 00:04:17,251 --> 00:04:18,376 Oh, my god, 56 00:04:18,376 --> 00:04:20,417 don't stay there, please. 57 00:04:20,417 --> 00:04:22,292 The convertible, too. 58 00:04:22,292 --> 00:04:25,292 I'm going to need help. Go ahead. 59 00:04:25,292 --> 00:04:26,501 What? 60 00:04:26,501 --> 00:04:28,751 You two? You want a child? 61 00:04:28,751 --> 00:04:29,584 Why, yeah. 62 00:04:29,584 --> 00:04:33,084 We've been together 3 years. Couples have children. 63 00:04:33,084 --> 00:04:35,459 What's wrong? We fought for it. 64 00:04:35,459 --> 00:04:37,626 You look blown away. 65 00:04:37,626 --> 00:04:40,292 No, darlings! That's great! 66 00:04:40,292 --> 00:04:41,292 Can he have one? 67 00:04:41,292 --> 00:04:45,376 The whole bowl, if you like. Just concentrate. 68 00:04:45,376 --> 00:04:49,084 Are you watching? 69 00:04:49,084 --> 00:04:52,001 - You with us, Jean-Paul? - I'm with you. 70 00:04:52,001 --> 00:04:53,751 It's here 71 00:04:53,751 --> 00:04:56,709 in this incredible village on stilts... 72 00:04:56,709 --> 00:04:59,167 - You're a knockout in a tank top! - Cut! 73 00:04:59,167 --> 00:05:00,584 What? What now? 74 00:05:00,584 --> 00:05:02,209 There's too much noise! 75 00:05:02,209 --> 00:05:04,792 Tell them to be quiet. 76 00:05:04,792 --> 00:05:08,251 They can watch, but quietly. 77 00:05:08,251 --> 00:05:09,792 Why "Cut!" during the show? 78 00:05:09,792 --> 00:05:13,042 It's not the show. It's the making-of. 79 00:05:13,042 --> 00:05:18,251 So in the heart of traditional Thailand... 80 00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:24,334 That old guy's all tangled up. 81 00:05:24,334 --> 00:05:25,501 It's Video Gag! 82 00:05:25,501 --> 00:05:29,376 No one gives a damn that the old man fell in the drink? 83 00:05:29,376 --> 00:05:32,834 Old people falling is always funny. 84 00:05:32,834 --> 00:05:35,792 - Hand me my tobacco, honey. - It is funny! 85 00:05:35,792 --> 00:05:38,292 Be quiet and watch. 86 00:05:38,292 --> 00:05:40,251 - What's that? - A shrimp net. 87 00:05:40,251 --> 00:05:42,334 - And where are you? - In the net. 88 00:05:42,334 --> 00:05:45,167 You jumped in that yucky water? 89 00:05:45,167 --> 00:05:46,542 This is wild. 90 00:05:46,542 --> 00:05:48,417 Hear that, Cocteau? 91 00:05:48,417 --> 00:05:52,292 The old guy's spitting. How gross! 92 00:05:52,292 --> 00:05:56,084 Who's the little girl? Looks like a sad clay figurine. 93 00:05:56,084 --> 00:05:57,292 That's Maily. 94 00:05:57,292 --> 00:05:59,876 - The old man's granddaughter. - Cocteau, stay. 95 00:05:59,876 --> 00:06:01,667 What did Daddy say? 96 00:06:01,667 --> 00:06:05,209 Now a longboat is taking him to the hospital. 97 00:06:05,209 --> 00:06:08,042 They go to the hospital by longboat? 98 00:06:08,042 --> 00:06:09,584 What a weird country! 99 00:06:09,584 --> 00:06:11,334 Where are you? 100 00:06:11,334 --> 00:06:13,376 Working. 101 00:06:13,376 --> 00:06:17,876 That bitch of a host kept on shooting. Make him stop. 102 00:06:17,876 --> 00:06:22,709 Stay. Behave. 103 00:06:22,709 --> 00:06:25,501 What a hunk! 104 00:06:25,501 --> 00:06:27,626 Who's the big fellow? 105 00:06:27,626 --> 00:06:28,792 He's not Chinese. 106 00:06:28,792 --> 00:06:32,084 He's a French doctor. 107 00:06:32,084 --> 00:06:34,876 Well done, Kim. You saved a man's life. 108 00:06:34,876 --> 00:06:37,667 Not so fast. The grandfather died. 109 00:06:37,667 --> 00:06:43,167 The only family Maily had. 110 00:06:43,167 --> 00:06:45,584 What a horrible story! 111 00:06:45,584 --> 00:06:46,792 Spit it out, Cocteau! 112 00:06:46,792 --> 00:06:48,209 He ate the foil. 113 00:06:48,209 --> 00:06:52,542 Spit it out! Go on, Cocteau. 114 00:06:52,542 --> 00:06:54,542 There, he spit it out. 115 00:06:54,542 --> 00:06:56,292 That's for sure. 116 00:06:56,292 --> 00:06:59,667 Fizzy water will get it out. 117 00:06:59,667 --> 00:07:01,792 Why show me such a grim movie? 118 00:07:01,792 --> 00:07:03,167 We want to adopt the girl. 119 00:07:03,167 --> 00:07:04,626 I'll be the godfather. 120 00:07:04,626 --> 00:07:09,917 You can be more than that. 121 00:07:09,917 --> 00:07:12,751 What do you mean, "more"? 122 00:07:12,751 --> 00:07:15,459 The Thais just changed adoption laws. 123 00:07:15,459 --> 00:07:19,917 Singles can't adopt. And both parents must be present. 124 00:07:19,917 --> 00:07:21,876 They only want married couples. 125 00:07:21,876 --> 00:07:24,084 That's where you come in. 126 00:07:24,084 --> 00:07:27,376 Play my husband and pick up the child with me. 127 00:07:27,376 --> 00:07:28,959 Who else but you? 128 00:07:28,959 --> 00:07:31,834 I'd have loved to, darlings. 129 00:07:31,834 --> 00:07:34,626 But I get tinnitus when I fly, 130 00:07:34,626 --> 00:07:37,751 and Cocteau can't handle 10 hours in the hold. 131 00:07:37,751 --> 00:07:40,792 The pig still isn't potty-trained. 132 00:07:40,792 --> 00:07:43,667 What if he... 133 00:07:43,667 --> 00:07:45,584 "went" in the cabin? 134 00:07:45,584 --> 00:07:46,959 Of course. 135 00:07:46,959 --> 00:07:50,209 Had we known Cocteau wasn't potty-trained, 136 00:07:50,209 --> 00:07:54,251 we'd never have asked. Never. 137 00:07:54,251 --> 00:07:55,834 It's all sewed up, Hervé! 138 00:07:55,834 --> 00:07:59,542 A friend at City Hall will do us a marriage certificate. 139 00:07:59,542 --> 00:08:01,709 - A fake one. - No, a real one. 140 00:08:01,709 --> 00:08:02,709 A real fake. 141 00:08:02,709 --> 00:08:06,251 I tell you, there's no risk with these papers. 142 00:08:06,251 --> 00:08:13,751 I'd have loved to, but I don't have vacation time. 143 00:08:13,751 --> 00:08:16,001 What'd I do with my cuffs? 144 00:08:16,001 --> 00:08:19,251 Must have left them at Brice's last night. 145 00:08:19,251 --> 00:08:24,292 You're doing wonders for the community. 146 00:08:24,292 --> 00:08:29,001 I'm with you all the way. 147 00:08:29,001 --> 00:08:32,626 Maybe we should try a hetero. There are more of them. 148 00:08:32,626 --> 00:08:33,584 That's for sure. 149 00:08:33,584 --> 00:08:34,917 - Say... - What? 150 00:08:34,917 --> 00:08:41,834 Weren't you married in a past life? 151 00:08:41,834 --> 00:08:45,084 Trouble is, Nadine's expecting twins. 152 00:08:45,084 --> 00:08:47,417 - Congratulations. - Two? That's wonderful. 153 00:08:47,417 --> 00:08:51,167 Sure! She's confined to bed, feet up. 154 00:08:51,167 --> 00:08:54,876 I can't say I have to go to Thailand with my ex-wife 155 00:08:54,876 --> 00:08:57,917 as her fake husband when I was her real one before. 156 00:08:57,917 --> 00:09:00,376 Understand? 157 00:09:00,376 --> 00:09:02,376 I just can't see it. 158 00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:06,959 No problem. 159 00:09:06,959 --> 00:09:09,501 Not finished? 160 00:09:09,501 --> 00:09:13,292 Anyway, she's awfully cute. She's got something. 161 00:09:13,292 --> 00:09:19,584 Turn off the TV. 162 00:09:19,584 --> 00:09:22,167 - We'll never find anyone. - That's for sure. 163 00:09:22,167 --> 00:09:24,334 That's for sure. 164 00:09:24,334 --> 00:09:26,584 Unless it's someone in the family. 165 00:09:26,584 --> 00:09:27,917 Meaning? 166 00:09:27,917 --> 00:09:31,709 I only have sisters. But don't you have a brother? 167 00:09:31,709 --> 00:09:34,709 Yes. But we fell out three years ago. 168 00:09:34,709 --> 00:09:37,667 I wouldn't bail him out on Papa's misrun garage. 169 00:09:37,667 --> 00:09:40,459 Anyway, you two'd never get along. 170 00:09:40,459 --> 00:09:42,667 - Why not? - He's everything you detest. 171 00:09:42,667 --> 00:09:45,376 His ideal women: Mama and bimbo hairdressers. 172 00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:50,209 I can handle his kind. Anyway, it's only for 48 hours. 173 00:09:50,209 --> 00:09:51,751 Leave that bunny alone. 174 00:09:51,751 --> 00:09:54,667 - It's Maily's bunny. - She's not here yet! 175 00:09:54,667 --> 00:09:56,126 If I go with him, 176 00:09:56,126 --> 00:09:58,834 your brother's name will be on the adoption papers. 177 00:09:58,834 --> 00:10:00,751 Meaning yours. 178 00:10:00,751 --> 00:10:19,792 Wouldn't that be better? 179 00:10:19,792 --> 00:10:21,959 Hello, Gwen. How is she today? 180 00:10:21,959 --> 00:10:22,834 So-so. 181 00:10:22,834 --> 00:10:26,126 - Is that you, Cesar? - It's me, Mama. Be right there. 182 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:31,001 She got dizzy throwing bread to the pigeons. 183 00:10:31,001 --> 00:10:33,459 ' Are you okay? - Yes. Why? 184 00:10:33,459 --> 00:10:36,459 No reason. By the way, your sister's here. 185 00:10:36,459 --> 00:10:39,334 I know, we're meeting here. No need to whisper. 186 00:10:39,334 --> 00:10:43,501 No need to shout either! 187 00:10:43,501 --> 00:10:48,292 How are you doing? 188 00:10:48,292 --> 00:10:51,292 Yesterday, I thought my time had come. 189 00:10:51,292 --> 00:10:52,584 I'll call Dr. Fitoussi. 190 00:10:52,584 --> 00:10:57,459 Too late! Call a lawyer instead. 191 00:10:57,459 --> 00:11:00,251 What's that on your head? 192 00:11:00,251 --> 00:11:02,209 Did you get burned? 193 00:11:02,209 --> 00:11:03,751 Hello, Cesar. 194 00:11:03,751 --> 00:11:07,292 Hi, Alex. 195 00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:11,751 How nice to see you together again. 196 00:11:11,751 --> 00:11:14,292 An image I'll carry with me. 197 00:11:14,292 --> 00:11:16,542 Carry it where you like. 198 00:11:16,542 --> 00:11:18,917 See her in her grave? 199 00:11:18,917 --> 00:11:20,084 Whose grave? 200 00:11:20,084 --> 00:11:22,167 No one's, Mama! General de Gaulle's! 201 00:11:22,167 --> 00:11:27,001 Enough, Cesar. General de Gaulle died last year. 202 00:11:27,001 --> 00:11:29,376 Is it ready, Gwen? She's hungry. 203 00:11:29,376 --> 00:11:32,001 No more food for me. 204 00:11:32,001 --> 00:11:34,667 I have a shrinking glottis. 205 00:11:34,667 --> 00:11:38,209 Stop it, Mama! There's no such thing! 206 00:11:38,209 --> 00:11:40,917 There is. Kim's cat died from it. 207 00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:42,167 Kim? 208 00:11:42,167 --> 00:11:43,417 Who's Kim? 209 00:11:43,417 --> 00:11:47,042 This little girl means a lot to me and my relationship. 210 00:11:47,042 --> 00:11:48,959 I can't leave Mama alone. 211 00:11:48,959 --> 00:11:52,626 She has Gwen. And I'll look after her for the 3 days. 212 00:11:52,626 --> 00:11:57,417 I'm not going with you. 213 00:11:57,417 --> 00:11:59,292 Keep it down. 214 00:11:59,292 --> 00:12:01,167 You're our last chance. 215 00:12:01,167 --> 00:12:04,709 I get it. Relax, I get the picture. 216 00:12:04,709 --> 00:12:07,917 But this falls right on my open house weekend. 217 00:12:07,917 --> 00:12:11,167 Shit! I forgot about that. 218 00:12:11,167 --> 00:12:12,626 Postpone it? 219 00:12:12,626 --> 00:12:16,209 The date's set by the car maker. And right now, 220 00:12:16,209 --> 00:12:18,209 I'd better sell some cars. 221 00:12:18,209 --> 00:12:19,209 How's business? 222 00:12:19,209 --> 00:12:22,084 As Papa said: We're headed down the drain. 223 00:12:22,084 --> 00:12:26,917 What if I gave you that money you asked for? 224 00:12:26,917 --> 00:12:30,834 It wouldn't hurt. 225 00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:32,792 I'd have to go over my books. 226 00:12:32,792 --> 00:12:35,584 I might still be short. 227 00:12:35,584 --> 00:12:37,876 I'll add to it. 228 00:12:37,876 --> 00:12:42,501 Sure your scheme is airtight? In those places, trouble comes easy. 229 00:12:42,501 --> 00:12:46,167 It's not a war zone. I'm your sis. And a lawyer. 230 00:12:46,167 --> 00:12:48,917 By the way, know any auctioneers? 231 00:12:48,917 --> 00:12:50,667 - Yes, why? - Because... 232 00:12:50,667 --> 00:12:54,084 I have the entire Renault 4 collection. From Day 1. 233 00:12:54,084 --> 00:12:57,376 I'm only missing the Savanna. With a large roof rack. 234 00:12:57,376 --> 00:13:00,251 It'd be great if you find me one. 235 00:13:00,251 --> 00:13:05,167 So, if I add 50,000 euros will you go with Kim? 236 00:13:05,167 --> 00:13:08,209 Your Viet orphan boy story moves me. 237 00:13:08,209 --> 00:13:12,292 She's Thai and she's a girl. 238 00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:17,167 That's not the problem. The sad thing is, she's an orphan. 239 00:13:17,167 --> 00:13:19,292 I'll jot down the name. 240 00:13:19,292 --> 00:13:21,751 It's a four, like the number. 241 00:13:21,751 --> 00:13:25,376 And Savanna. Like Savanna. 242 00:13:25,376 --> 00:13:27,209 - Want her name? - Whose? 243 00:13:27,209 --> 00:13:28,917 The girl's. 244 00:13:28,917 --> 00:13:31,542 Maily. Isn't that a pretty name? 245 00:13:31,542 --> 00:13:34,709 Sure. I can't really tell. 246 00:13:34,709 --> 00:13:44,501 They say Thailand's paradise. 247 00:13:44,501 --> 00:13:47,917 To Bangkok? Doctors are money! Money! Money! 248 00:13:47,917 --> 00:13:49,334 I understand, Mrs. Ling, 249 00:13:49,334 --> 00:13:51,917 but I'm a G.P. I don't reduce ears. 250 00:13:51,917 --> 00:13:54,917 Dr. Luix! We have confidence in you! 251 00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:59,084 Please! Kiss! Kiss! 252 00:13:59,084 --> 00:14:02,834 They too big! Too big! No good for nothing! 253 00:14:02,834 --> 00:14:04,751 What matters is to hear well. 254 00:14:04,751 --> 00:14:06,292 Ugly! 255 00:14:06,292 --> 00:14:07,876 They define you. 256 00:14:07,876 --> 00:14:12,667 He can't even wear no cap! Others yes, but him no cap. 257 00:14:12,667 --> 00:14:14,876 Anyway, that's nature. 258 00:14:14,876 --> 00:14:17,876 Two organs continue to grow as you age: 259 00:14:17,876 --> 00:14:19,751 the nose and the ears. 260 00:14:19,751 --> 00:14:22,209 And there is also an organ 261 00:14:22,209 --> 00:14:43,667 that gets smaller with age! 262 00:14:43,667 --> 00:15:01,501 Patai-Chung Orphanage 263 00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:04,209 NO, stop! 264 00:15:04,209 --> 00:15:06,751 - Stop! Not here! - It's the law! 265 00:15:06,751 --> 00:15:12,126 Not here! Stop. 266 00:15:12,126 --> 00:15:16,167 It's Dr. Luix! 267 00:15:16,167 --> 00:15:24,001 Hi, pumpkin. 268 00:15:24,001 --> 00:15:29,209 Go and play. 269 00:15:29,209 --> 00:15:31,834 Mother Marie-Souye, what'd they want? 270 00:15:31,834 --> 00:15:35,834 To post the new adoption laws. Over the children's pictures! 271 00:15:35,834 --> 00:15:37,584 Ah, yes. I heard. 272 00:15:37,584 --> 00:15:40,709 Only married couples can adopt now. 273 00:15:40,709 --> 00:15:41,834 A fine thing. 274 00:15:41,834 --> 00:15:49,667 A child should be raised by a father and mother. 275 00:15:49,667 --> 00:15:54,917 Your malaria acting up again, Mother? 276 00:15:54,917 --> 00:15:57,584 Roll up your sleeve. 277 00:15:57,584 --> 00:16:01,459 You know little Maily is leaving us this week. 278 00:16:01,459 --> 00:16:04,376 Her new parents are arriving. 279 00:16:04,376 --> 00:16:06,626 I hate shots. 280 00:16:06,626 --> 00:16:09,542 I have to fetch them at the airport. 281 00:16:09,542 --> 00:16:12,084 Not like this. Send someone else? 282 00:16:12,084 --> 00:16:19,001 Sister Lucienne had an accident. 283 00:16:19,001 --> 00:16:23,501 She ran into an elephant with the tuk-tuk. 284 00:16:23,501 --> 00:16:27,084 Driver's license confiscated. 285 00:16:27,084 --> 00:16:29,751 Why don't you pick up the parents? 286 00:16:29,751 --> 00:16:31,959 Bangkok holds bad memories. 287 00:16:31,959 --> 00:16:37,126 It's been over 5 years since the Lord took your wife. 288 00:16:37,126 --> 00:16:40,626 End your penitence. You have a right to happiness. 289 00:16:40,626 --> 00:16:43,459 And they're French. You should be glad. 290 00:16:43,459 --> 00:16:45,751 I usually avoid them. 291 00:16:45,751 --> 00:16:48,501 The mother works for French television. 292 00:16:48,501 --> 00:16:49,376 And the father? 293 00:16:49,376 --> 00:16:52,251 In cars. A pump attendant, I think. 294 00:16:52,251 --> 00:16:54,876 - How old is he? - About 50. 295 00:16:54,876 --> 00:16:56,876 I see. Pump attendant at 50. 296 00:16:56,876 --> 00:17:00,626 I hope they send Maily to college. 297 00:17:00,626 --> 00:17:02,834 They arrive tomorrow at 3 p.m. 298 00:17:02,834 --> 00:17:10,501 Flight Thai 807. 299 00:17:10,501 --> 00:17:12,751 Where the hell is he? 300 00:17:12,751 --> 00:17:16,417 - He'd better not back out. - He gave me his word. 301 00:17:16,417 --> 00:17:17,917 I hate latecomers. 302 00:17:17,917 --> 00:17:25,792 There he is. 303 00:17:25,792 --> 00:17:28,709 What's that hair color? 304 00:17:28,709 --> 00:17:31,834 Bordeaux-mahogany? 305 00:17:31,834 --> 00:17:36,084 Sorry I'm late. Wrong airport. A Club Med habit. 306 00:17:36,084 --> 00:17:37,876 So this is the Beast. 307 00:17:37,876 --> 00:17:39,917 Beauty! Sorry, Beauty! 308 00:17:39,917 --> 00:17:42,251 Pleased to meet you. Kim. 309 00:17:42,251 --> 00:17:44,001 Cesar. 310 00:17:44,001 --> 00:17:47,001 Maybe we should kiss. As husband and wife. 311 00:17:47,001 --> 00:17:54,042 That way, it'll be done with. 312 00:17:54,042 --> 00:17:57,417 Angela by Cacharel. Reminds me of an ex. 313 00:17:57,417 --> 00:18:01,334 No, it's Meow by Gamahuche. 314 00:18:01,334 --> 00:18:03,251 Remind you of anyone? 315 00:18:03,251 --> 00:18:04,917 Gamahuche? Just a sec. 316 00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:08,042 C'mere. 317 00:18:08,042 --> 00:18:12,459 - I told Irene you'd wire the money. - When you're back with the kid. 318 00:18:12,459 --> 00:18:15,209 Natch'. It's just to say, lrene's in the know. 319 00:18:15,209 --> 00:18:17,751 She seems nice, funny and all that. 320 00:18:17,751 --> 00:18:22,042 She reminds me of someone in that tank top. But who? 321 00:18:22,042 --> 00:18:23,501 It'll come back to you. 322 00:18:23,501 --> 00:18:25,959 - A problem? - No, honey. Everything's cool. 323 00:18:25,959 --> 00:18:29,001 Let's go to check-in. 324 00:18:29,001 --> 00:18:30,417 I'll take your bag, Kim. 325 00:18:30,417 --> 00:18:33,126 Thanks, that's sweet. 326 00:18:33,126 --> 00:18:36,459 It weighs a ton! What have you got in there? 327 00:18:36,459 --> 00:18:39,876 My kitchen sink. I'm afraid someone'll steal it. 328 00:18:39,876 --> 00:18:42,834 Just like me. A laugh a minute! 329 00:18:42,834 --> 00:18:45,459 We could start an act in Bangkok. 330 00:18:45,459 --> 00:18:46,834 We won't have time. 331 00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:49,167 From behind you remind me of... 332 00:18:49,167 --> 00:18:50,167 Another ex? 333 00:18:50,167 --> 00:18:53,167 My high school gym teacher, Mr. Chauvelau. 334 00:18:53,167 --> 00:18:55,042 I worshipped him! 335 00:18:55,042 --> 00:18:58,001 "Muscle Man." He always wore a muscle shirt! 336 00:18:58,001 --> 00:19:02,167 Like you. 337 00:19:02,167 --> 00:19:09,709 - I might not last 48 hours. - I warned you. 338 00:19:09,709 --> 00:19:10,876 What a line! 339 00:19:10,876 --> 00:19:18,209 Bangkok. Business, 1st Class, this way, please. 340 00:19:18,209 --> 00:19:22,042 Don't worry. 341 00:19:22,042 --> 00:19:23,834 It's cool. 342 00:19:23,834 --> 00:19:28,542 Everything'll be fine. 343 00:19:28,542 --> 00:20:08,209 Hold this. 344 00:20:08,209 --> 00:20:11,584 - It's dumb to make a spectacle. - What spectacle? 345 00:20:11,584 --> 00:20:15,459 When straights kiss, it's normal. We're obscene. Is that it? 346 00:20:15,459 --> 00:20:19,626 It looks like my wife is cheating with another woman. 347 00:20:19,626 --> 00:20:21,209 Who do you mean? 348 00:20:21,209 --> 00:20:35,959 You and me! Mr. and Mrs. Borgnoli. 349 00:20:35,959 --> 00:20:37,709 So, you're in television? 350 00:20:37,709 --> 00:20:41,001 Alex told me you hosted "Of Horses and Men." 351 00:20:41,001 --> 00:20:44,251 I'm a sound man. For "Of Houses and Men." 352 00:20:44,251 --> 00:20:51,001 I stopped watching TV in 2004. Like you, I'd rather read. 353 00:20:51,001 --> 00:20:53,126 Oh, no. 354 00:20:53,126 --> 00:20:57,084 That's all we needed! I can close up shop! 355 00:20:57,084 --> 00:20:58,084 What's wrong? 356 00:20:58,084 --> 00:21:00,751 They're reinstating the road tax! 357 00:21:00,751 --> 00:21:03,292 I'll go sell lemons in Cavaillon. 358 00:21:03,292 --> 00:21:04,917 Melons. 359 00:21:04,917 --> 00:21:05,792 What melons? 360 00:21:05,792 --> 00:21:08,251 Cavaillon melons. Not lemons. 361 00:21:08,251 --> 00:21:10,042 It was an image. 362 00:21:10,042 --> 00:21:11,042 Champagne? 363 00:21:11,042 --> 00:21:14,459 - A glass of champ? - I don't drink alcohol. 364 00:21:14,459 --> 00:21:15,667 Juice then, soda? 365 00:21:15,667 --> 00:21:17,292 What sodas do you have? 366 00:21:17,292 --> 00:21:20,417 It's okay, Cesar. I'm not thirsty. 367 00:21:20,417 --> 00:21:25,584 I'll stick with the champagne. 368 00:21:25,584 --> 00:21:27,626 - The stewardess is cute. - Yes, very. 369 00:21:27,626 --> 00:21:34,626 Very cute. 370 00:21:34,626 --> 00:21:36,126 Sorry about earlier. 371 00:21:36,126 --> 00:21:39,001 I overreacted about your... 372 00:21:39,001 --> 00:21:40,501 little "peck." 373 00:21:40,501 --> 00:21:44,334 It was no peck. We kissed as lovers do. 374 00:21:44,334 --> 00:21:52,292 Sure, of course. That's why... 375 00:21:52,292 --> 00:21:56,042 Did you see that western with the two cowboys who... 376 00:21:56,042 --> 00:21:58,959 What was it called again? Great movie. 377 00:21:58,959 --> 00:22:00,626 Baden-Baden Mountain. 378 00:22:00,626 --> 00:22:04,126 Brokeback Mountain. Baden-Baden's a town in German. 379 00:22:04,126 --> 00:22:05,584 Miles from Cavaillon. 380 00:22:05,584 --> 00:22:08,209 Okay, but it was still a mountain. 381 00:22:08,209 --> 00:22:12,084 An ex dragged me to see it. 382 00:22:12,084 --> 00:22:14,501 Well, it really got to me. 383 00:22:14,501 --> 00:22:17,626 Even though I'm not... No, really. 384 00:22:17,626 --> 00:22:18,709 But it's true... 385 00:22:18,709 --> 00:22:25,376 Two guys, but really in love. In love like... 386 00:22:25,376 --> 00:22:26,376 you and Alex, 387 00:22:26,376 --> 00:22:29,876 but as guys. 388 00:22:29,876 --> 00:22:31,667 I'll try to sleep. 389 00:22:31,667 --> 00:22:34,626 If you can't, just ask. Take your pick: 390 00:22:34,626 --> 00:22:37,417 Auto Buyers' Guide, Auto News, Auto Plus 391 00:22:37,417 --> 00:22:39,459 and The Auto Monitor, 392 00:22:39,459 --> 00:22:41,334 which, if you ask me... 393 00:22:41,334 --> 00:22:43,334 I'm not asking. 394 00:22:43,334 --> 00:22:46,876 ...Is still the bible. 395 00:22:46,876 --> 00:22:48,959 Gladly. 396 00:22:48,959 --> 00:22:52,209 What's your name? 397 00:22:52,209 --> 00:23:12,292 I'll find Out. 398 00:23:12,292 --> 00:23:14,251 - Time to wake up. - Okay. 399 00:23:14,251 --> 00:23:15,751 - Where are we? - In the air. 400 00:23:15,751 --> 00:23:18,417 We land soon. We have to go over stuff. 401 00:23:18,417 --> 00:23:21,917 What stuff? 402 00:23:21,917 --> 00:23:23,751 My head weighs a ton. 403 00:23:23,751 --> 00:23:28,042 For the nun we've been married 10 years. We have to rehearse. 404 00:23:28,042 --> 00:23:29,876 - Shit. - What? 405 00:23:29,876 --> 00:23:31,667 I lost a sock. 406 00:23:31,667 --> 00:23:33,167 We'll look later. 407 00:23:33,167 --> 00:23:37,792 Focus! You have to answer her questions right. 408 00:23:37,792 --> 00:23:42,292 - Where'd we meet? - At the airport. 409 00:23:42,292 --> 00:23:44,751 Anyone find a sock in the night? 410 00:23:44,751 --> 00:23:49,001 Your sock didn't run away. It's on the plane somewhere. 411 00:23:49,001 --> 00:23:51,501 I'll start again: Where'd we meet? 412 00:23:51,501 --> 00:23:55,292 Wherever. Someone stole it. Lisle socks aren't cheap. 413 00:23:55,292 --> 00:23:57,001 A one-legged cripple, maybe. 414 00:23:57,001 --> 00:24:00,251 We met through your sister. You listening? 415 00:24:00,251 --> 00:24:04,959 I don't think it's wise to get my sister mixed up in this. 416 00:24:04,959 --> 00:24:07,126 - Why not? - It's obvious. 417 00:24:07,126 --> 00:24:08,376 You're together. 418 00:24:08,376 --> 00:24:11,626 If anyone cross-checks, they'll be on to us. 419 00:24:11,626 --> 00:24:13,959 Then let's say at friends. 420 00:24:13,959 --> 00:24:15,917 That seems smarter. 421 00:24:15,917 --> 00:24:19,626 I can't wear just one sock. They'll spot me right off. 422 00:24:19,626 --> 00:24:21,751 The attendant must have extras. 423 00:24:21,751 --> 00:24:23,001 Not lisle socks. 424 00:24:23,001 --> 00:25:02,126 On this company, they have them. 425 00:25:02,126 --> 00:25:08,292 Okay. 426 00:25:08,292 --> 00:25:16,042 Neither. Adoption. 427 00:25:16,042 --> 00:25:20,209 Over there. Hey,you! 428 00:25:20,209 --> 00:25:23,584 Honey, get over here. 429 00:25:23,584 --> 00:25:43,459 Your passport. 430 00:25:43,459 --> 00:25:46,376 Chief! 431 00:25:46,376 --> 00:25:51,292 - What'd you tell them? - The truth. Why lie? 432 00:25:51,292 --> 00:25:53,584 They have different names. 433 00:25:53,584 --> 00:26:33,334 There's your answer. 434 00:26:33,334 --> 00:26:35,501 What's this paper for? 435 00:26:35,501 --> 00:26:39,792 A permit to travel around the country. 436 00:26:39,792 --> 00:26:41,167 They kept my passport. 437 00:26:41,167 --> 00:26:43,459 Only until we leave with Maily. 438 00:26:43,459 --> 00:26:44,709 With who? 439 00:26:44,709 --> 00:26:46,001 Maily, our daughter! 440 00:26:46,001 --> 00:26:47,542 Take it easy. 441 00:26:47,542 --> 00:26:58,542 Jet lag's got me confused. And these Chinese names! 442 00:26:58,542 --> 00:27:01,126 They checked the certificate! 443 00:27:01,126 --> 00:27:03,834 Calm down. Maybe they found your sock. 444 00:27:03,834 --> 00:27:09,834 Walk slowly and carry my bag. 445 00:27:09,834 --> 00:27:16,501 We don't even have the embassy phone number. 446 00:27:16,501 --> 00:27:18,667 - Shit. - Now what? 447 00:27:18,667 --> 00:27:21,792 It's the French doctor. 448 00:27:21,792 --> 00:27:26,334 Good news. A doctor on hand in such a country isn't a bad thing. 449 00:27:26,334 --> 00:27:28,709 - I'll do the talking. - Watch your tone. 450 00:27:28,709 --> 00:27:31,751 Shut up! 451 00:27:31,751 --> 00:27:33,834 Honey“. 452 00:27:33,834 --> 00:27:34,917 Yes, that's me. 453 00:27:34,917 --> 00:27:37,251 Glad to meet you. Dr. Luix lzkeban. 454 00:27:37,251 --> 00:27:40,459 Mother Marie-Souye is ill. She asked me to come. 455 00:27:40,459 --> 00:27:42,292 Hello, Doctor. Sorry... 456 00:27:42,292 --> 00:27:44,751 The damp heat makes my palms sweat. 457 00:27:44,751 --> 00:27:47,501 Yet the airport is air-conditioned. 458 00:27:47,501 --> 00:27:52,042 Right... It must be lovely outside. 459 00:27:52,042 --> 00:27:55,667 lzkeban. Is that a Spanish name? 460 00:27:55,667 --> 00:27:57,126 No relation. I'm Basque. 461 00:27:57,126 --> 00:27:59,917 No relation? It's still pretty close. 462 00:27:59,917 --> 00:28:02,917 They run bulls on both sides. 463 00:28:02,917 --> 00:28:06,167 The Basque Country isn't just bullfights. 464 00:28:06,167 --> 00:28:09,834 Where exactly are you from, Doctor? 465 00:28:09,834 --> 00:28:11,084 I was born in Arcangues. 466 00:28:11,084 --> 00:28:14,084 Wasn't Dario Moreno from the same place? 467 00:28:14,084 --> 00:28:15,834 That was Luis Mariano. 468 00:28:15,834 --> 00:28:20,167 Mariano, Moreno... Kinda like Tweedledee and Tweedledum. 469 00:28:20,167 --> 00:28:27,709 Even Tweedledum and Tweedledum, if I may. 470 00:28:27,709 --> 00:28:31,001 The car's outside. 471 00:28:31,001 --> 00:28:31,792 Lead the way. 472 00:28:31,792 --> 00:28:42,251 - He seems nice. - Shut up. 473 00:28:42,251 --> 00:28:45,126 We going straight to the orphanage? 474 00:28:45,126 --> 00:28:49,209 Not until tomorrow. A force 9 typhoon is still blowing. 475 00:28:49,209 --> 00:28:53,126 Shit! How long are we gonna be holed up here? 476 00:28:53,126 --> 00:28:55,459 For as long as we have to, honey. 477 00:28:55,459 --> 00:28:58,917 For tonight, I've booked rooms in a fine hotel. 478 00:28:58,917 --> 00:29:00,751 I'm sure you'll like it. 479 00:29:00,751 --> 00:29:02,667 Mostly Japanese makes here. 480 00:29:02,667 --> 00:29:04,126 What an eye. 481 00:29:04,126 --> 00:29:06,376 Figures, for a pump attendant. 482 00:29:06,376 --> 00:29:08,042 - Who is? - You. 483 00:29:08,042 --> 00:29:09,709 Who said so? 484 00:29:09,709 --> 00:29:13,709 It's in the adoption file Mother Superior showed me. 485 00:29:13,709 --> 00:29:15,959 She's off her rocker! 486 00:29:15,959 --> 00:29:19,917 Take it easy, Cesar. It's my fault. I said mechanic, 487 00:29:19,917 --> 00:29:22,167 and she wrote pump attendant. 488 00:29:22,167 --> 00:29:24,417 Pump attendant, mechanic. It's Tweedledee 489 00:29:24,417 --> 00:29:26,709 and HumptyDo, as you say. 490 00:29:26,709 --> 00:29:30,376 I'm not a mechanic either. Why'd you say that? 491 00:29:30,376 --> 00:29:32,709 Just what do you do in automobiles? 492 00:29:32,709 --> 00:29:36,584 I'm the exclusive dealer for Italian prestige cars 493 00:29:36,584 --> 00:29:39,209 in Western Paris. 494 00:29:39,209 --> 00:29:42,042 I wasn't far off. You're a car salesman. 495 00:29:42,042 --> 00:29:44,417 So I'm a car salesman. 496 00:29:44,417 --> 00:29:46,709 Now I've heard it all! 497 00:29:46,709 --> 00:29:51,126 It doesn't matter as long as you're a good father to Maily. 498 00:29:51,126 --> 00:29:54,584 The doctor's right. That's what counts. 499 00:29:54,584 --> 00:29:57,667 Anyway, attendants are a thing of the past. 500 00:29:57,667 --> 00:29:59,584 Now it's self-service or credit cards. 501 00:29:59,584 --> 00:30:05,792 Tell that to Marie-Stewya. 502 00:30:05,792 --> 00:30:07,209 Marie-Souye. 503 00:30:07,209 --> 00:30:13,459 I'll pass it on. 504 00:30:13,459 --> 00:30:15,667 Wow! 505 00:30:15,667 --> 00:30:19,209 Your pickup's had it. 506 00:30:19,209 --> 00:30:20,542 Junkyard material. 507 00:30:20,542 --> 00:30:23,792 Never. It was my wife's car. She loved it 508 00:30:23,792 --> 00:30:28,042 Forgive us, Doctor. We didn't know. 509 00:30:28,042 --> 00:30:32,292 We had no idea. 510 00:30:32,292 --> 00:30:38,084 Bags there. Climb in. 511 00:30:38,084 --> 00:30:40,459 We didn't know what? 512 00:30:40,459 --> 00:30:44,209 Shut up, I said. 513 00:30:44,209 --> 00:30:48,834 - Move it, Cesar. - Hang on a second. 514 00:30:48,834 --> 00:30:51,167 Old, but this pickup makes tracks. 515 00:30:51,167 --> 00:31:16,084 They sure knew how to build engines back then. 516 00:31:16,084 --> 00:31:18,251 Is it normal to be stuck so long? 517 00:31:18,251 --> 00:31:22,251 That's Bangkok. 518 00:31:22,251 --> 00:31:24,042 I'm curious by nature. 519 00:31:24,042 --> 00:31:27,959 An observer. But this staggers me. 520 00:31:27,959 --> 00:31:31,084 What does? The city's energy? Me, too. 521 00:31:31,084 --> 00:31:33,584 I meant the size of ears. 522 00:31:33,584 --> 00:31:34,626 Whose ears? 523 00:31:34,626 --> 00:31:38,667 People's. Lots of them have huge ears. 524 00:31:38,667 --> 00:31:41,792 Stop talking nonsense, Cesar. 525 00:31:41,792 --> 00:31:43,334 He's joking, Doctor. 526 00:31:43,334 --> 00:31:44,876 He's right. 527 00:31:44,876 --> 00:31:51,501 It's something I've often noticed but I can't explain. 528 00:31:51,501 --> 00:31:54,834 Bangkok isn't Thailand. The city's ruined by cars. 529 00:31:54,834 --> 00:31:58,834 Plus certain Westerners and their sexual abominations. 530 00:31:58,834 --> 00:32:00,709 A sin and a shame. 531 00:32:00,709 --> 00:32:01,792 Right, honey? 532 00:32:01,792 --> 00:32:05,292 Basically, it's still the land of the elephant. 533 00:32:05,292 --> 00:32:07,209 That might explain the big ears. 534 00:32:07,209 --> 00:32:09,834 We've said enough about ears. 535 00:32:09,834 --> 00:32:11,834 And child trafficking, to boot. 536 00:32:11,834 --> 00:32:14,251 They arrested a New Zealand couple, 537 00:32:14,251 --> 00:32:18,334 supposedly married, who came to adopt with fake papers. 538 00:32:18,334 --> 00:32:20,959 That's awful. It's appalling. 539 00:32:20,959 --> 00:32:22,001 What happened? 540 00:32:22,001 --> 00:32:24,542 They got 25 years. In Pachay. 541 00:32:24,542 --> 00:32:26,292 They don't play around. 542 00:32:26,292 --> 00:32:30,001 They're child traffickers, sweetie. 543 00:32:30,001 --> 00:32:31,626 They deserve it. 544 00:32:31,626 --> 00:32:37,917 I'd have shot them. 545 00:32:37,917 --> 00:32:59,334 - I think it's moving. - Yep, it's moving. 546 00:32:59,334 --> 00:33:00,501 Welcome. 547 00:33:00,501 --> 00:33:06,084 Thank you, Sam. 548 00:33:06,084 --> 00:33:09,126 What a classy place! Nice work, doc. 549 00:33:09,126 --> 00:33:12,834 We're just crossing the lobby to get to the pier. 550 00:33:12,834 --> 00:33:13,959 Oh, yeah? 551 00:33:13,959 --> 00:33:15,876 No tourist trap for you. 552 00:33:15,876 --> 00:33:18,209 - Too bad. - I prefer. 553 00:33:18,209 --> 00:33:21,167 International palace hotels depress me. 554 00:33:21,167 --> 00:33:22,626 Never mind the rates. 555 00:33:22,626 --> 00:33:24,376 So what? My sister's paying. 556 00:33:24,376 --> 00:33:27,126 She is? Do you have money problems? 557 00:33:27,126 --> 00:33:30,751 Not at all! It's just because... 558 00:33:30,751 --> 00:33:32,917 - Excuse me. - It's me, sweetheart. 559 00:33:32,917 --> 00:33:36,709 Who is it? 560 00:33:36,709 --> 00:33:39,792 - I'll catch up with you. - Okay. 561 00:33:39,792 --> 00:33:42,126 Actually, my sister... 562 00:33:42,126 --> 00:33:44,626 I lent my sister money. 563 00:33:44,626 --> 00:33:48,626 In her line she can't pay back in cash, so she said, 564 00:33:48,626 --> 00:33:52,584 "Treat the kid to a luxury hotel, it's on me." 565 00:33:52,584 --> 00:33:54,459 Word for word. 566 00:33:54,459 --> 00:33:56,209 What's your sister do? 567 00:33:56,209 --> 00:33:58,001 Lawyer in a huge firm. 568 00:33:58,001 --> 00:34:02,417 Getting cash out of that loony bin is touch and go-go. 569 00:34:02,417 --> 00:34:06,751 - Touch and go-go? - You bet. 570 00:34:06,751 --> 00:34:09,084 Your brother's a prize schmuck. 571 00:34:09,084 --> 00:34:12,459 - Where is he now? - Driving the doctor nuts. 572 00:34:12,459 --> 00:34:14,792 - A Thai? - No, French. A sort of bush doctor. 573 00:34:14,792 --> 00:34:17,834 - Tush? - Not tush. "Bush" with a 574 00:34:17,834 --> 00:34:19,626 Why'd he come to meet you? 575 00:34:19,626 --> 00:34:21,459 - No idea. - He suspicious? 576 00:34:21,459 --> 00:34:23,084 Not at all! Luckily. 577 00:34:23,084 --> 00:34:26,584 He must think I'm married to a jerk. That's all. 578 00:34:26,584 --> 00:34:29,959 Wait while I watch his next screw-up. 579 00:34:29,959 --> 00:34:31,667 He's getting in a boat, 580 00:34:31,667 --> 00:34:33,167 I bet he'll fall in. 581 00:34:33,167 --> 00:34:36,334 Nope, not him. His bag. 582 00:34:36,334 --> 00:34:37,876 - Drop it. - No way! 583 00:34:37,876 --> 00:34:41,667 It's got all my Lacoste shirts and my Lancia suede jacket! 584 00:34:41,667 --> 00:34:44,084 I'll pay if he dives for it. 585 00:34:44,084 --> 00:34:47,251 For $10 he'd swim across the river. 586 00:34:47,251 --> 00:34:48,709 Hand me your sandwich. 587 00:34:48,709 --> 00:34:50,501 I don't want his sandwich. 588 00:34:50,501 --> 00:34:52,542 Throw it in the water. You'll see. 589 00:34:52,542 --> 00:34:54,084 Throw it in, I said. 590 00:34:54,084 --> 00:34:58,917 What's it got to do with my bag? 591 00:34:58,917 --> 00:35:00,501 Holy cow! How gross! 592 00:35:00,501 --> 00:35:02,751 - It's teeming with them. - Catfish. 593 00:35:02,751 --> 00:35:06,084 They're sacred. The river's full of them. 594 00:35:06,084 --> 00:35:08,709 Below are man-sized monitor lizards. 595 00:35:08,709 --> 00:35:10,626 Your bag's already history. 596 00:35:10,626 --> 00:35:12,459 What's going on? 597 00:35:12,459 --> 00:35:14,792 You lose something, sweetie? 598 00:35:14,792 --> 00:35:17,501 Lizards ate my polo shirts. 599 00:35:17,501 --> 00:35:21,417 There! They ate my polo shirts! 600 00:35:21,417 --> 00:35:43,876 A great start! 601 00:35:43,876 --> 00:35:48,959 Looks charming. 602 00:35:48,959 --> 00:35:52,001 - It's here? - There. 603 00:35:52,001 --> 00:35:54,042 What do we do? 604 00:35:54,042 --> 00:35:56,292 Get out. 605 00:35:56,292 --> 00:35:59,709 We get out? Okay. Here I go. 606 00:35:59,709 --> 00:36:02,209 - Go on. - Gimme a second. 607 00:36:02,209 --> 00:36:05,917 I almost fell. 608 00:36:05,917 --> 00:36:10,209 The bag. 609 00:36:10,209 --> 00:36:14,001 Right, I take the bag. 610 00:36:14,001 --> 00:36:16,334 - It's Mama. - Yes, Mama, I hear you. 611 00:36:16,334 --> 00:36:18,501 Did you arrive? No news. 612 00:36:18,501 --> 00:36:20,334 Yes, I'm in Deauville. 613 00:36:20,334 --> 00:36:22,292 It's windy on the boardwalk. 614 00:36:22,292 --> 00:36:24,334 I can't hear you. 615 00:36:24,334 --> 00:36:26,251 Shit! It keeps cutting off. 616 00:36:26,251 --> 00:36:27,959 Why say you're in Deauville? 617 00:36:27,959 --> 00:36:30,334 Yes, why lie to your mother? 618 00:36:30,334 --> 00:36:32,376 When I'm abroad, her heart races. 619 00:36:32,376 --> 00:36:36,501 Once her pulse jumped to 196. Like Lance Armstrong. 620 00:36:36,501 --> 00:36:39,084 - Minus his bike. - Of course. 621 00:36:39,084 --> 00:36:40,792 Something smells good. 622 00:36:40,792 --> 00:36:48,001 It definitely smells. Do we have far to go? 623 00:36:48,001 --> 00:36:51,126 - Is that you? - Who else would it be? 624 00:36:51,126 --> 00:36:54,834 Gwen dressed the cat as a fireman. And pooped on the rug. 625 00:36:54,834 --> 00:36:59,292 Now Mama, Gwen didn't poop on the rug! 626 00:36:59,292 --> 00:37:02,417 It must be the cat. 627 00:37:02,417 --> 00:37:04,042 Cut off again! 628 00:37:04,042 --> 00:37:05,751 It's sad to get old. 629 00:37:05,751 --> 00:37:08,042 - What's your mother got? - You name it. 630 00:37:08,042 --> 00:37:10,501 Just before we left, her glottis shrank. 631 00:37:10,501 --> 00:37:11,959 Never heard of it. 632 00:37:11,959 --> 00:37:14,251 So where's this hotel? 633 00:37:14,251 --> 00:37:16,251 We're in it. 634 00:37:16,251 --> 00:37:19,709 Isn't it darling? Like a dollhouse. 635 00:37:19,709 --> 00:37:30,417 Next to the other one, it sucks. 636 00:37:30,417 --> 00:37:32,501 Here. 637 00:37:32,501 --> 00:37:37,001 Literally: "The nest of swallows in love for life." 638 00:37:37,001 --> 00:37:39,626 That's us! 639 00:37:39,626 --> 00:37:42,167 Please. 640 00:37:42,167 --> 00:37:46,459 It's tiny, too. 641 00:37:46,459 --> 00:37:48,084 That's a bed for two? 642 00:37:48,084 --> 00:37:52,876 Thais consider married couples sleep in each other's arms. 643 00:37:52,876 --> 00:37:55,834 We'll kill two birds with one stone: 644 00:37:55,834 --> 00:38:01,709 adopt and take a second honeymoon. 645 00:38:01,709 --> 00:38:06,167 Settle in. I'm next door. Meet in a half-hour for dinner. 646 00:38:06,167 --> 00:38:11,209 I booked a traditional Thai restaurant. 647 00:38:11,209 --> 00:38:13,417 Let go of me, right now! 648 00:38:13,417 --> 00:38:15,542 I'm playing my part, like we said. 649 00:38:15,542 --> 00:38:20,626 Don't act stupid, you'll regret it. 650 00:38:20,626 --> 00:38:23,542 That guy freaks me out. Did you hear him? 651 00:38:23,542 --> 00:38:26,959 If that Basque learns the truth, he'll have us shot. 652 00:38:26,959 --> 00:38:28,459 I heard him. 653 00:38:28,459 --> 00:38:30,417 Try not to screw up so much. 654 00:38:30,417 --> 00:38:33,084 - When did I screw up? - My bag. 655 00:38:33,084 --> 00:38:37,209 Every second. You haven't missed a trick. 656 00:38:37,209 --> 00:38:40,834 I warn you: If I go home without Maily, 657 00:38:40,834 --> 00:38:42,501 you don't get your money. 658 00:38:42,501 --> 00:38:48,209 So get smart. If your garage matters. 659 00:38:48,209 --> 00:38:51,251 - What's this water? - Close it. It's boiling hot! 660 00:38:51,251 --> 00:38:54,626 For cooking noodles or what? 661 00:38:54,626 --> 00:38:58,917 Asian refinement. Hot water. The cult of cleanliness. 662 00:38:58,917 --> 00:39:01,501 Why a hot tub in a room? 663 00:39:01,501 --> 00:39:03,292 It doesn't make you cleaner. 664 00:39:03,292 --> 00:39:06,251 Not even a couch! How do we sleep tonight? 665 00:39:06,251 --> 00:39:08,251 Me on the floor. You on the bed. 666 00:39:08,251 --> 00:39:13,042 Fine with me. You smoke a pipe? 667 00:39:13,042 --> 00:39:14,542 Smoke bother you? 668 00:39:14,542 --> 00:39:17,584 No, it's just that... 669 00:39:17,584 --> 00:39:22,084 Who'd have thought I'd be paired with a woman who smokes... 670 00:39:22,084 --> 00:39:26,542 And that I'd be paired with a guy with mahogany hair! 671 00:39:26,542 --> 00:39:28,542 I'm going down for a drink. 672 00:39:28,542 --> 00:39:36,209 Keep off alcohol. You'll lose your socks. 673 00:39:36,209 --> 00:39:46,292 This place is falling apart. The hotel is ancient! 674 00:39:46,292 --> 00:39:49,501 Confuses Luis Mariano and Dario Moreno. 675 00:39:49,501 --> 00:39:52,417 Big Oedipus complex. 676 00:39:52,417 --> 00:39:56,709 Tax dodging tendencies... 677 00:39:56,709 --> 00:40:00,501 A real traditional Thai restaurant. You take off your shoes. 678 00:40:00,501 --> 00:40:02,042 They're right. Hygiene first. 679 00:40:02,042 --> 00:40:04,667 I don't see the point, 680 00:40:04,667 --> 00:40:06,042 but here goes... 681 00:40:06,042 --> 00:40:14,834 Hope no monkeys pinch them, after those lizards... 682 00:40:14,834 --> 00:40:16,209 This is nice. 683 00:40:16,209 --> 00:40:23,709 Take a seat. 684 00:40:23,709 --> 00:40:26,959 I get the idea. 685 00:40:26,959 --> 00:40:29,876 I'll pull a muscle before dinner. 686 00:40:29,876 --> 00:40:32,834 There's no legroom. How do they do it? 687 00:40:32,834 --> 00:40:37,334 You should have left your long legs at the hotel, honey. 688 00:40:37,334 --> 00:40:42,917 Welcome to Thailand. Bottoms up. 689 00:40:42,917 --> 00:40:45,417 Go easy. It's very high proof. 690 00:40:45,417 --> 00:40:47,834 It tastes like soap. What is it? 691 00:40:47,834 --> 00:40:49,876 Rice wine with star anise. 692 00:40:49,876 --> 00:40:53,626 It could serve as both toothpaste and cocktail. 693 00:40:53,626 --> 00:40:56,251 I ordered a real Thai fisherman's meal. 694 00:40:56,251 --> 00:40:58,626 My mouth is watering. 695 00:40:58,626 --> 00:41:01,126 We love fish, don't we, honey? 696 00:41:01,126 --> 00:41:04,542 I hope it's not lizard pastry. 697 00:41:04,542 --> 00:41:07,917 You might find your shirts. 698 00:41:07,917 --> 00:41:13,459 I'd love steak and fries, and a chair with legs. 699 00:41:13,459 --> 00:41:15,126 The house specialty. 700 00:41:15,126 --> 00:41:17,459 What do you think this is? 701 00:41:17,459 --> 00:41:21,001 If I don't know I won't eat it. 702 00:41:21,001 --> 00:41:22,667 A big Slug 703 00:41:22,667 --> 00:41:26,376 We're not among savages. This is a refined country. 704 00:41:26,376 --> 00:41:28,834 She's right. It's a sea slug in garlic, 705 00:41:28,834 --> 00:41:30,959 marinated in nuoc mam and spices. 706 00:41:30,959 --> 00:41:33,126 The Thai fisherman's favorite dish. 707 00:41:33,126 --> 00:41:34,126 Swell... 708 00:41:34,126 --> 00:41:35,334 Pass me your plate. 709 00:41:35,334 --> 00:41:40,876 I prefer the French hunter's dish. 710 00:41:40,876 --> 00:41:52,292 Just a little. 711 00:41:52,292 --> 00:41:57,834 Well? 712 00:41:57,834 --> 00:42:00,959 It's good. 713 00:42:00,959 --> 00:42:03,959 You have to get used to 714 00:42:03,959 --> 00:42:07,084 the rubbery texture of the skin, 715 00:42:07,084 --> 00:42:09,251 which is thick. 716 00:42:09,251 --> 00:42:13,501 Their slugs are so fresh, you feel like you're at sea. 717 00:42:13,501 --> 00:42:15,459 Right. Out at sea. 718 00:42:15,459 --> 00:42:16,501 I feel seasick. 719 00:42:16,501 --> 00:42:19,292 Mother Marie-Souye gave me this questionnaire. 720 00:42:19,292 --> 00:42:21,584 Now? No more questionnaires. 721 00:42:21,584 --> 00:42:25,167 - Don't drink if you don't eat. - Eat what? 722 00:42:25,167 --> 00:42:27,834 Without this and my favorable report, 723 00:42:27,834 --> 00:42:30,084 you can't take the child. 724 00:42:30,084 --> 00:42:31,542 Sure. 725 00:42:31,542 --> 00:42:32,959 Let's begin. 726 00:42:32,959 --> 00:42:36,459 Do you believe it's worth having the child learn Thai? 727 00:42:36,459 --> 00:42:38,001 Indispensable. 728 00:42:38,001 --> 00:42:42,876 What for? Honestly, teaching her Thai is totally pointless. 729 00:42:42,876 --> 00:42:45,209 Her roots! It's her mother tongue. 730 00:42:45,209 --> 00:42:49,167 They all speak English here. Badly, but they speak it. 731 00:42:49,167 --> 00:42:51,709 There's a disagreement box. I check it? 732 00:42:51,709 --> 00:42:55,209 Check it! You get used to the soapy taste. 733 00:42:55,209 --> 00:42:59,292 Don't check it. We'll discuss it later. 734 00:42:59,292 --> 00:43:01,834 You're tired from jet lag, honey. 735 00:43:01,834 --> 00:43:06,334 I'm not tired. I'm against the child learning Chinese! 736 00:43:06,334 --> 00:43:12,542 - Thai. - I'm against Thai, too. 737 00:43:12,542 --> 00:43:16,959 - What'd I say? - Nothing but crap. 738 00:43:16,959 --> 00:43:20,792 What's he doing? 739 00:43:20,792 --> 00:43:25,917 The guy's a brute on top of it. 740 00:43:25,917 --> 00:43:27,501 Sorry, sorry. 741 00:43:27,501 --> 00:43:31,876 Noi! 742 00:43:31,876 --> 00:43:45,584 - I'll pay for all the damage, Noi. - Never mind. 743 00:43:45,584 --> 00:43:47,167 Are you homophobic? 744 00:43:47,167 --> 00:43:49,501 No, but I'm against prostitution. 745 00:43:49,501 --> 00:43:52,917 So am I. I applaud with two hands. 746 00:43:52,917 --> 00:43:54,584 Sure he was prostituting? 747 00:43:54,584 --> 00:43:58,292 It was obvious, honey. They both were. 748 00:43:58,292 --> 00:44:01,876 It's a scourge here. Dr. Louis told you. 749 00:44:01,876 --> 00:44:05,334 That boy left his village two weeks ago to find work. 750 00:44:05,334 --> 00:44:09,334 I got him a kitchen job here. The owner knew my wife. 751 00:44:09,334 --> 00:44:11,292 But he'd rather hustle. 752 00:44:11,292 --> 00:44:14,876 He's 15. 753 00:44:14,876 --> 00:44:20,959 The beauty from Cadiz has velvety eyes 754 00:44:20,959 --> 00:44:26,167 The beauty from Cadiz offers love without disguise 755 00:44:26,167 --> 00:44:29,126 Anyway, we had a marvelous dinner. 756 00:44:29,126 --> 00:44:31,292 - Fabulous! - It's not over. 757 00:44:31,292 --> 00:44:35,209 It's not? 758 00:44:35,209 --> 00:44:40,209 Stuffed fish head with herring liver. 759 00:44:40,209 --> 00:44:42,334 I really can't. 760 00:44:42,334 --> 00:44:45,459 They're staring at me. I'd feel like a cannibal. 761 00:44:45,459 --> 00:44:46,709 A Sunday dish. 762 00:44:46,709 --> 00:44:49,334 It's Tuesday. 763 00:44:49,334 --> 00:44:51,376 Say, if you know the owner, 764 00:44:51,376 --> 00:44:53,792 ask her to turn that music off. 765 00:44:53,792 --> 00:44:56,459 It's torture. 766 00:44:56,459 --> 00:44:57,834 It sounds like 767 00:44:57,834 --> 00:45:04,792 a cat that got stuck in a door. 768 00:45:04,792 --> 00:45:09,292 She's butchering a great song. They wreck everything here. 769 00:45:09,292 --> 00:45:11,459 That's enough, honey. 770 00:45:11,459 --> 00:45:14,542 Was your wife French? 771 00:45:14,542 --> 00:45:16,792 No,Thai 772 00:45:16,792 --> 00:45:20,626 Her name was Ty-Pong. She was a very popular singer here. 773 00:45:20,626 --> 00:45:23,709 She died five years ago. 774 00:45:23,709 --> 00:45:30,292 That's her singing. 775 00:45:30,292 --> 00:45:31,792 Now? 776 00:45:31,792 --> 00:45:36,542 She's the cat. 777 00:45:36,542 --> 00:45:38,042 That's her? 778 00:45:38,042 --> 00:45:40,167 Too bad we don't get the words. 779 00:45:40,167 --> 00:45:42,542 They're in French. 780 00:45:42,542 --> 00:45:46,417 That's for sure, honey. Listen good... 781 00:45:46,417 --> 00:45:48,042 You can make out the French. 782 00:45:48,042 --> 00:45:52,876 He's right. I don't have an ear for music. 783 00:45:52,876 --> 00:45:56,292 See a specialist. 784 00:45:56,292 --> 00:45:59,334 I think I'll have some of these 785 00:45:59,334 --> 00:46:00,584 stuffed fish heads. 786 00:46:00,584 --> 00:46:03,501 Me, too. 787 00:46:03,501 --> 00:46:05,167 How do you eat this? 788 00:46:05,167 --> 00:46:08,501 It's a surprise. We don't know what's inside. 789 00:46:08,501 --> 00:46:12,959 You can recognize the refrain. 790 00:46:12,959 --> 00:46:23,542 It's got something. 791 00:46:23,542 --> 00:46:26,376 We'll finish with an indiscreet question, 792 00:46:26,376 --> 00:46:29,959 but it's the doctor asking. 793 00:46:29,959 --> 00:46:32,251 Shoot, doc. 794 00:46:32,251 --> 00:46:42,042 Monthly frequency of intercourse? 795 00:46:42,042 --> 00:46:44,709 A loaded question. 796 00:46:44,709 --> 00:46:47,917 That certainly is a very private matter. 797 00:46:47,917 --> 00:46:49,626 Do we have to answer? 798 00:46:49,626 --> 00:46:51,792 It's the $64,000 question. 799 00:46:51,792 --> 00:46:54,792 And you must answer separately in writing. 800 00:46:54,792 --> 00:46:57,792 A good way of detecting bogus couples. 801 00:46:57,792 --> 00:47:00,167 Ah, clever. 802 00:47:00,167 --> 00:47:21,417 Downright sneaky. 803 00:47:21,417 --> 00:47:23,667 We have a problem. 804 00:47:23,667 --> 00:47:25,084 Really? 805 00:47:25,084 --> 00:47:28,251 What? 806 00:47:28,251 --> 00:47:31,417 It's just a rough idea. 807 00:47:31,417 --> 00:47:33,667 We don't keep track very carefully. 808 00:47:33,667 --> 00:47:36,042 Yes, but the ratio is 1:3. 809 00:47:36,042 --> 00:47:38,501 Meaning? 810 00:47:38,501 --> 00:47:41,209 Your wife says 4 811 00:47:41,209 --> 00:47:43,501 and you say 12. 812 00:47:43,501 --> 00:47:50,792 Can you explain that? 813 00:47:50,792 --> 00:47:53,834 Well, I'll be damned! 814 00:47:53,834 --> 00:47:56,292 My mistake. Cesar's right. 815 00:47:56,292 --> 00:47:57,709 Ah, for once! 816 00:47:57,709 --> 00:48:02,626 I was thinking, does she have amnesia or what? 817 00:48:02,626 --> 00:48:05,001 I gave a woman's answer. 818 00:48:05,001 --> 00:48:10,501 He gave the number of times and me, climaxes. 819 00:48:10,501 --> 00:48:29,084 There's your explanation. 820 00:48:29,084 --> 00:48:32,292 Careful, honey. You're crushing people's shoes. 821 00:48:32,292 --> 00:48:38,959 They're not shoes, they're flip-flops. 822 00:48:38,959 --> 00:48:41,376 Respect is a rule of life in Asia. 823 00:48:41,376 --> 00:48:48,876 But they shouldn't leave them lying around. 824 00:48:48,876 --> 00:48:50,251 Good night. 825 00:48:50,251 --> 00:48:54,417 Sorry about the restaurant brawl. I usually stay cool. 826 00:48:54,417 --> 00:48:58,792 Bangkok gets to me. 827 00:48:58,792 --> 00:49:02,042 Thank you for taking care of Maily. 828 00:49:02,042 --> 00:49:03,751 It means a lot to us. 829 00:49:03,751 --> 00:49:13,667 That's right. Gute nacht! 830 00:49:13,667 --> 00:49:16,084 What got into you to speak German? 831 00:49:16,084 --> 00:49:23,376 I did a workshop at Mercedes. 832 00:49:23,376 --> 00:49:25,584 Those fish heads aren't going down. 833 00:49:25,584 --> 00:49:31,917 Same here. But don't belch in my face. 834 00:49:31,917 --> 00:49:33,667 Well... 835 00:49:33,667 --> 00:49:37,292 we really ate... 836 00:49:37,292 --> 00:49:42,084 What are you doing? 837 00:49:42,084 --> 00:49:45,251 That's stupid. Don't sleep on the floor. 838 00:49:45,251 --> 00:49:47,626 You'll kill your back. 839 00:49:47,626 --> 00:49:52,501 Come on the bed with me, baby doll. 840 00:49:52,501 --> 00:49:54,542 Know what baby doll says? 841 00:49:54,542 --> 00:49:57,792 Tie it in a knot and bug off. 842 00:49:57,792 --> 00:49:59,584 "Wife: motherly. 843 00:49:59,584 --> 00:50:01,792 "Husband: many faults. 844 00:50:01,792 --> 00:50:22,834 "Some qualities, I hope." 845 00:50:22,834 --> 00:50:25,042 You haven't always been gay. 846 00:50:25,042 --> 00:50:33,209 You're too much of a dish. 847 00:50:33,209 --> 00:50:35,834 You're nuts. It burns like hell! 848 00:50:35,834 --> 00:50:37,501 See if it's blistering. 849 00:50:37,501 --> 00:50:41,501 No, it's not. I'll get the Biafine. 850 00:50:41,501 --> 00:50:43,167 Calm down. 851 00:50:43,167 --> 00:50:45,042 Lie down on the bed. 852 00:50:45,042 --> 00:50:47,876 Lie on the bed. I'll put this on. 853 00:50:47,876 --> 00:50:53,001 It's cold. 854 00:50:53,001 --> 00:50:56,959 I'm going slowly so it penetrates. 855 00:50:56,959 --> 00:50:59,959 That hurts. 856 00:50:59,959 --> 00:51:06,542 Relax, or it'll never penetrate. 857 00:51:06,542 --> 00:51:10,251 That feels so good. 858 00:51:10,251 --> 00:51:24,042 "Wild sexual habits!" 859 00:51:24,042 --> 00:51:27,334 I don't feel well. 860 00:51:27,334 --> 00:51:39,584 Put more cream on. 861 00:51:39,584 --> 00:51:48,042 Doctor, I feel sick. 862 00:51:48,042 --> 00:51:50,209 - What now? - I'm sorry. 863 00:51:50,209 --> 00:51:51,876 Something I ate... 864 00:51:51,876 --> 00:51:54,209 Do you have an antiemetic, Dr. Louis? 865 00:51:54,209 --> 00:51:56,292 Luish. 866 00:51:56,292 --> 00:51:59,376 Dr. Luish. Eesh, as in quiche, 867 00:51:59,376 --> 00:52:03,417 or as in leash! Is that so hard? 868 00:52:03,417 --> 00:52:06,251 - Go to bed, it'll pass. - It's worse lying down. 869 00:52:06,251 --> 00:52:10,834 I see fish heads laughing at me. I'm going to puke again. 870 00:52:10,834 --> 00:52:17,209 I'll get some anti-acid tablets. 871 00:52:17,209 --> 00:52:18,292 That all you have? 872 00:52:18,292 --> 00:52:20,376 It's my wife's jacket. 873 00:52:20,376 --> 00:52:25,292 Lizards ate my clothes, remember? 874 00:52:25,292 --> 00:52:28,042 To think I have to wear a chick's threads! 875 00:52:28,042 --> 00:52:29,959 What "chick"? 876 00:52:29,959 --> 00:52:33,667 My wife. It's her jacket. 877 00:52:33,667 --> 00:52:34,709 By the way, 878 00:52:34,709 --> 00:52:39,001 know where I can get driving gloves? A gift for my mechanic. 879 00:52:39,001 --> 00:52:40,834 Plus he's missing 2 fingers. 880 00:52:40,834 --> 00:52:41,876 No idea. 881 00:52:41,876 --> 00:52:44,792 You seem better. Don't you want to go back? 882 00:52:44,792 --> 00:52:47,959 No! The heads are right here. 883 00:52:47,959 --> 00:52:52,334 In your glottis? That sort of thing is often hereditary. 884 00:52:52,334 --> 00:52:54,542 Think so? I have a stitch. 885 00:52:54,542 --> 00:52:57,126 Hope it's not a fish bone piercing my lung. 886 00:52:57,126 --> 00:52:58,501 It's pretty wild here. 887 00:52:58,501 --> 00:53:03,584 It's the only all-night pharmacy. 888 00:53:03,584 --> 00:53:06,167 Do they sell real drugs here? 889 00:53:06,167 --> 00:53:11,626 Just asking, since they copy everything. 890 00:53:11,626 --> 00:53:13,709 Do we both need to wait? 891 00:53:13,709 --> 00:53:20,001 Those heads make me feel weak in the knees. 892 00:53:20,001 --> 00:53:21,376 It's Alex. 893 00:53:21,376 --> 00:53:23,459 My sister. 894 00:53:23,459 --> 00:53:25,751 Now he's starting. 895 00:53:25,751 --> 00:53:28,626 This place is hell! 896 00:53:28,626 --> 00:53:32,209 I can't hear you. Let me step inside somewhere. 897 00:53:32,209 --> 00:53:35,334 I'm just asking you to do your best with Kim. 898 00:53:35,334 --> 00:53:38,209 I'm sweet as pie to her. 899 00:53:38,209 --> 00:53:40,501 - How's Mama? - Just stick to our agreement. 900 00:53:40,501 --> 00:53:43,251 You didn't answer. What about Mama? 901 00:53:43,251 --> 00:53:45,792 She locked Gwen in the cupboard 902 00:53:45,792 --> 00:53:47,459 and hid the key in the butter. 903 00:53:47,459 --> 00:53:50,917 Good. At least she's having fun. 904 00:53:50,917 --> 00:53:52,376 I'm sure not. 905 00:53:52,376 --> 00:53:55,292 Don't imagine that I'm enjoying... 906 00:53:55,292 --> 00:53:59,917 Where are you? What's that racket? 907 00:53:59,917 --> 00:54:01,209 What's free? 908 00:54:01,209 --> 00:54:04,334 Frenchie! Pierre Cardin! 909 00:54:04,334 --> 00:54:06,459 I'm mistaken for someone else. 910 00:54:06,459 --> 00:54:07,834 Who's talking to you? 911 00:54:07,834 --> 00:54:12,834 I'm not Pierre Cardin There's some mistake 63439

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