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1
00:00:00,008 --> 00:00:01,408
(radio disc jockey) Wake
'n bake, kids, it's 7 AM
2
00:00:01,410 --> 00:00:03,910
and your favorite holiday
is just one week away.
3
00:00:03,912 --> 00:00:05,078
Have you bought your gifts?
4
00:00:05,080 --> 00:00:06,413
Put up your ganja tree?
5
00:00:06,415 --> 00:00:08,481
It's 420, doobs and doobettes.
6
00:00:08,483 --> 00:00:11,906
Mmm-mmm, I can almost smell
those brownies baking.
7
00:00:11,931 --> 00:00:13,364
Whoa!
8
00:00:13,516 --> 00:00:15,382
Somebody's got a lot of holiday spirit.
9
00:00:15,384 --> 00:00:17,551
It's your first 420 since
we started Mary + Jane.
10
00:00:17,553 --> 00:00:19,019
I want it to be special
11
00:00:19,021 --> 00:00:20,688
because this is the most
wonderful time of the year.
12
00:00:20,690 --> 00:00:22,523
- What are you doing?
- I'm leaving a doob out
13
00:00:22,548 --> 00:00:24,882
for Saint Fiacre. Fiacre.
14
00:00:25,228 --> 00:00:26,570
It's Ganja Claus.
15
00:00:26,578 --> 00:00:28,904
If you're good, he comes on 420
morning and brings you presents.
16
00:00:28,929 --> 00:00:31,771
- You don't really believe that.
- I mean, he's not gonna come
17
00:00:31,796 --> 00:00:33,863
if you don't have any
420 holiday spirit.
18
00:00:33,887 --> 00:00:36,232
_
19
00:00:36,257 --> 00:00:38,045
Dude, I was looking at
our orders for this week.
20
00:00:38,070 --> 00:00:39,436
- We are stacked.
- I know.
21
00:00:39,438 --> 00:00:41,505
'Cause 420's like the
Super Bowl of weed,
22
00:00:41,507 --> 00:00:43,240
except that people order a lot of weed
23
00:00:43,242 --> 00:00:44,593
for the actual Super Bowl,
24
00:00:44,618 --> 00:00:47,377
so technically, the Super Bowl
is the Super Bowl of weed.
25
00:00:47,379 --> 00:00:49,379
(doorbell rings)
26
00:00:50,922 --> 00:00:52,655
So what we get drunk
27
00:00:52,657 --> 00:00:54,390
So what we smoke weed
28
00:00:54,392 --> 00:00:55,758
We're just having fun
29
00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:57,727
We don't care who sees
30
00:00:57,729 --> 00:00:59,161
So what we go out
31
00:00:59,163 --> 00:01:00,930
That's how it's s'posed to be
32
00:01:00,932 --> 00:01:05,034
When we're young and wild
and free (and free)
33
00:01:05,036 --> 00:01:06,502
Oh, guys!
34
00:01:07,005 --> 00:01:08,604
35
00:01:08,628 --> 00:01:10,374
_
36
00:01:10,375 --> 00:01:11,574
Hey, Anne!
37
00:01:11,576 --> 00:01:13,542
Hey, guys, did you hear?
38
00:01:13,544 --> 00:01:14,977
Our place got robbed last night.
39
00:01:14,979 --> 00:01:16,178
Oh, my God.
40
00:01:16,180 --> 00:01:17,647
Yeah, asshole took everything.
41
00:01:17,649 --> 00:01:19,849
Yeah, robberies always go
up during the 420 holiday.
42
00:01:19,851 --> 00:01:21,851
Just a lot of cash
and weed lying around.
43
00:01:21,853 --> 00:01:24,353
He stole a Zippo High Sparrow
that cost me 400 bucks.
44
00:01:24,355 --> 00:01:26,989
We got a picture from the helmet
cam on our neighbor's Vespa.
45
00:01:26,991 --> 00:01:29,275
No ID, but the dirt
pants wears a poncho.
46
00:01:29,694 --> 00:01:31,761
He hit four places on
our block this week.
47
00:01:31,763 --> 00:01:33,262
I'd be really careful.
48
00:01:33,264 --> 00:01:34,385
You might be next.
49
00:01:35,552 --> 00:01:37,388
Thanks for the warning.
50
00:01:38,603 --> 00:01:39,802
Sheesh.
51
00:01:39,804 --> 00:01:41,604
Oh, don't worry about it, we have a dog.
52
00:01:41,628 --> 00:01:43,628
_
53
00:01:43,975 --> 00:01:48,210
(Bob Marley)
I
see trees of green
54
00:01:48,212 --> 00:01:51,247
Red roses too
55
00:01:51,249 --> 00:01:53,983
I see them bloom...
56
00:01:53,985 --> 00:01:55,117
Look at this.
57
00:01:55,119 --> 00:01:56,886
Look at how commercial
this has gotten, okay?
58
00:01:56,888 --> 00:01:58,888
This is not what 420 is about!
59
00:01:58,890 --> 00:02:00,856
They've been playing
420 music since February.
60
00:02:00,858 --> 00:02:02,925
It gets earlier every year.
61
00:02:02,927 --> 00:02:04,260
I kinda wanna see that.
62
00:02:04,963 --> 00:02:06,963
Ugh! No.
63
00:02:06,965 --> 00:02:09,832
(buzzing) What the...?
64
00:02:09,834 --> 00:02:12,301
DopeCo's delivering with drones now?
65
00:02:12,303 --> 00:02:15,071
Man, corporate weed has
money for everything.
66
00:02:15,073 --> 00:02:17,773
- I wish I had the money for a drone.
- Excuse me?
67
00:02:17,775 --> 00:02:20,176
Would you like to buy some
limited edition 420 cookies?
68
00:02:20,178 --> 00:02:22,517
- They're gluten-free.
- And Paleo.
69
00:02:22,955 --> 00:02:25,815
You (bleep) kidding me?
70
00:02:25,817 --> 00:02:27,850
(Snoop Dogg)
Say,
baby, what's your name?
71
00:02:27,852 --> 00:02:30,953
Are you the one
Mary? Are you Jane?
72
00:02:30,977 --> 00:02:32,322
Synced and corrected by Chitorafa
www.addic7ed.com
73
00:02:32,323 --> 00:02:33,856
Oh, my angels!
74
00:02:33,858 --> 00:02:36,359
Get the (bleep) in here!
75
00:02:36,361 --> 00:02:37,927
Hi, Doris!
76
00:02:37,929 --> 00:02:40,997
You girls are saving my life, I swear.
77
00:02:40,999 --> 00:02:45,267
My arthritis was keeping me
from doing all the things I love.
78
00:02:45,269 --> 00:02:47,870
Painting, cooking, masturbating.
79
00:02:47,872 --> 00:02:49,472
But you two changed all of that.
80
00:02:49,474 --> 00:02:50,673
Hey, maybe you'll feel good enough
81
00:02:50,675 --> 00:02:51,841
to leave the apartment soon.
82
00:02:51,843 --> 00:02:53,576
Well, let's don't get crazy.
83
00:02:53,578 --> 00:02:54,810
Anything I need
84
00:02:54,812 --> 00:02:55,963
I can have delivered.
85
00:02:55,988 --> 00:02:57,056
Oh!
86
00:02:57,081 --> 00:02:58,814
I got you two a holiday present.
87
00:03:00,685 --> 00:03:02,551
How long has it been
since she's been outside?
88
00:03:02,553 --> 00:03:05,121
She just asked me to return
videos to Blockbuster.
89
00:03:05,123 --> 00:03:06,355
Ooh.
90
00:03:06,357 --> 00:03:08,524
Happy 420, girls!
91
00:03:08,526 --> 00:03:10,359
Aw, Doris!
92
00:03:10,361 --> 00:03:11,627
You knew me so well!
93
00:03:11,629 --> 00:03:13,896
Oh, me too!
94
00:03:13,898 --> 00:03:16,432
Well, you know, when you
don't leave the house,
95
00:03:16,434 --> 00:03:18,868
the people who come to
visit are your only family.
96
00:03:18,870 --> 00:03:21,103
You girls are like the
daughters I never had.
97
00:03:21,105 --> 00:03:23,172
I thought you had a daughter.
98
00:03:23,174 --> 00:03:25,708
I said the people who come to visit.
99
00:03:25,687 --> 00:03:27,173
That bitch!
100
00:03:27,221 --> 00:03:31,390
She has money for vagioplasty
but she won't fly out to see me.
101
00:03:31,392 --> 00:03:32,958
- Ooh.
- Oh.
102
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:34,460
She went big.
103
00:03:34,462 --> 00:03:36,595
I mean, that is a choice.
104
00:03:37,791 --> 00:03:38,759
Hey look!
105
00:03:38,784 --> 00:03:41,059
I got a free copy of the
new Adam Sandler 420 song,
106
00:03:41,061 --> 00:03:43,361
with all the Jewish celebrities
who like to get high.
107
00:03:43,363 --> 00:03:47,132
(music pumping from car)
108
00:03:47,134 --> 00:03:50,368
Ooooh hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo!
109
00:03:50,370 --> 00:03:51,570
(Bentley) Afternoon, ladies.
110
00:03:51,572 --> 00:03:52,838
Notice anything, I dunno,
111
00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:54,439
independently wealthy about me?
112
00:03:54,441 --> 00:03:56,141
(scoffing) Nice asshole-mobile.
113
00:03:56,143 --> 00:03:57,642
Oh, Jordan, are you jealous?
114
00:03:57,644 --> 00:03:59,778
I'm sorry, you had your
chance, you blew it.
115
00:03:59,780 --> 00:04:01,613
Now that I'm a member of the 1%,
116
00:04:01,615 --> 00:04:03,582
I've decided to upgrade...
117
00:04:03,584 --> 00:04:04,750
No? Okay, sorry.
118
00:04:04,752 --> 00:04:06,184
What are you talking about?
119
00:04:06,186 --> 00:04:08,720
I sold to DopeCo.
120
00:04:08,722 --> 00:04:10,977
Yeah, made mountains of dollars
121
00:04:11,002 --> 00:04:12,617
and I'm not talkin' singles either.
122
00:04:12,642 --> 00:04:14,773
Then I took all that green and sunk it
123
00:04:14,798 --> 00:04:16,828
into the greatest
investment of all time:
124
00:04:16,830 --> 00:04:17,963
a restaurant boat.
125
00:04:17,965 --> 00:04:20,866
That's right, a restaurant on a boat.
126
00:04:20,868 --> 00:04:23,305
Two moneymakers in one!
127
00:04:23,330 --> 00:04:24,875
Soft opening's in a month,
128
00:04:24,900 --> 00:04:27,188
wanted to let you both
know you're not invited.
129
00:04:27,213 --> 00:04:28,455
You sold Doob Dude?
130
00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:30,991
Yeah, gave 'em my client list,
gave 'em my branding rights,
131
00:04:31,016 --> 00:04:33,550
gave 'em all of my
delivery services, okay?
132
00:04:33,552 --> 00:04:36,220
The whole burrito, fart-pushers.
133
00:04:36,222 --> 00:04:37,988
DopeCo is buying everyone out.
134
00:04:37,990 --> 00:04:40,624
And you guys should
definitely get on board,
135
00:04:40,626 --> 00:04:43,017
so Happy 420, chicas.
136
00:04:43,830 --> 00:04:45,896
Oh, Jordan? Real talk?
137
00:04:45,898 --> 00:04:47,965
If you wanna have a
threesome with Katya and I,
138
00:04:47,967 --> 00:04:49,666
I just wanted to let you know
139
00:04:49,668 --> 00:04:52,402
she only has three-ways
with other dudes!
140
00:04:52,404 --> 00:04:53,837
Joke's on you!
141
00:04:53,839 --> 00:04:55,305
Bye-eee!
142
00:04:55,307 --> 00:04:57,482
C'mon, girl. C'mon!
143
00:04:58,310 --> 00:04:59,643
I am not calling DopeCo.
144
00:04:59,645 --> 00:05:05,048
(phone ringing)
145
00:05:05,050 --> 00:05:06,383
Hello?
146
00:05:11,290 --> 00:05:12,689
Beautiful, isn't it?
147
00:05:12,691 --> 00:05:14,057
It's our newest model.
148
00:05:14,059 --> 00:05:17,661
Top speed of 75 miles
per hour. (chuckling)
149
00:05:17,663 --> 00:05:19,496
The future is here, ladies.
150
00:05:19,498 --> 00:05:22,299
And the future is green.
151
00:05:22,301 --> 00:05:24,801
I'm Edward Gregory and I'm
the president of DopeCo.
152
00:05:24,803 --> 00:05:27,437
Can I offer you a coconut water?
153
00:05:28,741 --> 00:05:30,340
(both) Yes, please.
154
00:05:30,342 --> 00:05:33,677
You guys have made a very smart
decision coming here to DopeCo.
155
00:05:33,679 --> 00:05:36,346
Well, we haven't made any decisions yet.
156
00:05:36,348 --> 00:05:37,648
'Course you haven't.
157
00:05:37,650 --> 00:05:39,149
Couple of smart girls like you
158
00:05:39,151 --> 00:05:41,852
getting in on the ground
floor of an emerging industry.
159
00:05:41,854 --> 00:05:44,087
You know, I was just like you guys once.
160
00:05:44,089 --> 00:05:44,962
Yeah.
161
00:05:44,987 --> 00:05:48,058
I saw a void in the marketplace,
and so I built something.
162
00:05:48,060 --> 00:05:49,459
Diapers Now.
163
00:05:49,461 --> 00:05:52,162
If somebody needs a diaper, you
better believe they need it now.
164
00:05:52,187 --> 00:05:55,492
So I developed an app that
allows my drivers and my drones
165
00:05:55,517 --> 00:05:58,235
to get anywhere in Los
Angeles in under 20 minutes.
166
00:05:58,237 --> 00:06:01,375
And then I applied that same
algorithm to Pets on Pets
167
00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:03,507
and Wowza cleaning products,
168
00:06:03,509 --> 00:06:06,443
and now, cannabis.
169
00:06:06,445 --> 00:06:09,539
If somebody wants to get their
weed on, they open our app,
170
00:06:09,564 --> 00:06:14,418
they select Mary + Jane and
20 minutes later, they have us.
171
00:06:14,420 --> 00:06:16,820
So, we won't deliver our own product?
172
00:06:16,822 --> 00:06:18,889
No, you're not gonna deliver at all.
173
00:06:18,891 --> 00:06:21,224
The product is still gonna
carry the Mary + Jane name,
174
00:06:21,226 --> 00:06:24,594
but it'll be under a
division of DopeCo label.
175
00:06:24,596 --> 00:06:26,063
We're really just
buying your client list,
176
00:06:26,065 --> 00:06:27,205
(pen clicking)
177
00:06:27,230 --> 00:06:32,502
and here, is what we're prepared
to offer for that privilege.
178
00:06:35,474 --> 00:06:36,896
Holy...
179
00:06:37,343 --> 00:06:37,940
Yeah.
180
00:06:39,298 --> 00:06:42,079
Legal marijuana is the
fastest growing industry
181
00:06:42,081 --> 00:06:43,213
in the world right now,
182
00:06:43,215 --> 00:06:45,148
and you girls got in
at just the right time.
183
00:06:45,150 --> 00:06:46,216
Good for you.
184
00:06:46,218 --> 00:06:48,585
But now it's time to step aside
185
00:06:48,587 --> 00:06:50,798
and let the real businessmen take over.
186
00:06:53,359 --> 00:06:54,725
(pen clicking)
187
00:06:54,727 --> 00:06:56,493
Oh, what's this? A counteroffer?
188
00:06:56,495 --> 00:06:58,462
(chuckling)
189
00:06:58,464 --> 00:06:59,629
Okay.
190
00:06:59,631 --> 00:07:01,531
I will entertain it.
191
00:07:03,602 --> 00:07:05,550
Do you touch your mother with that hand?
192
00:07:06,271 --> 00:07:07,471
Let's go.
193
00:07:07,473 --> 00:07:08,896
We're leaving.
194
00:07:09,775 --> 00:07:11,274
Well, you will be back, okay?
195
00:07:11,276 --> 00:07:13,610
Because everybody sells
to DopeCo eventually,
196
00:07:13,612 --> 00:07:15,112
but please, do not wait too long
197
00:07:15,114 --> 00:07:17,014
because the world is
not very safe out there
198
00:07:17,016 --> 00:07:18,849
for two girls trying to sell drugs.
199
00:07:18,851 --> 00:07:21,118
Especially not this time of year.
200
00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:23,020
(crickets chirping)
201
00:07:24,123 --> 00:07:26,690
(banging outside)
202
00:07:32,331 --> 00:07:34,664
(banging)
203
00:07:42,643 --> 00:07:43,843
Oh, what's going on?
204
00:07:43,845 --> 00:07:45,444
I didn't sleep at all last night.
205
00:07:45,446 --> 00:07:47,480
I heard all these noises
in the middle of the night
206
00:07:47,482 --> 00:07:51,450
and the dog slept through
the entire thing, and...
207
00:07:51,452 --> 00:07:53,119
you know what?
208
00:07:54,589 --> 00:07:55,754
I can't.
209
00:07:55,756 --> 00:07:57,148
I can't do it anymore, Jordan.
210
00:07:57,173 --> 00:07:58,691
I want to sell to DopeCo.
211
00:07:58,693 --> 00:07:59,455
What?
212
00:07:59,961 --> 00:08:03,162
All DopeCo wants to do
is suck up Mary + Jane
213
00:08:03,164 --> 00:08:06,999
and fold us into some
generic corporate crapfest,
214
00:08:07,001 --> 00:08:11,003
(bleep) slap our name on
some diapers... no way.
215
00:08:11,005 --> 00:08:12,972
I'm not giving up everything I built.
216
00:08:12,974 --> 00:08:14,840
Our customers wanna see us,
217
00:08:14,842 --> 00:08:17,276
not some idiot in a green polo shirt.
218
00:08:17,278 --> 00:08:18,461
(laughing ruefully)
219
00:08:18,486 --> 00:08:20,570
Jordan, I hate to break it to you,
220
00:08:20,595 --> 00:08:22,288
but everybody just wants their weed.
221
00:08:22,290 --> 00:08:23,723
They don't care how they get it.
222
00:08:23,725 --> 00:08:27,026
Wait... so because you're
afraid of some guy in a poncho,
223
00:08:27,028 --> 00:08:29,462
we have to give up our entire business?
224
00:08:29,464 --> 00:08:31,664
I can't believe we aren't
on the same page about this!
225
00:08:31,666 --> 00:08:34,667
No, you can't believe that I'm
not on your page about this!
226
00:08:34,669 --> 00:08:35,567
You know what?
227
00:08:35,592 --> 00:08:36,505
This always happens.
228
00:08:36,530 --> 00:08:39,482
You make some decision and
I just have to agree with it.
229
00:08:39,507 --> 00:08:41,174
We shouldn't even call
it being on the same page.
230
00:08:41,176 --> 00:08:43,255
We should call it being
on the same Jordan!
231
00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:44,723
That's stupid.
232
00:08:44,748 --> 00:08:46,606
Actually, I like it.
233
00:08:46,631 --> 00:08:48,919
See? I agree with you.
234
00:08:49,531 --> 00:08:50,897
Aaaaah!
235
00:09:00,795 --> 00:09:02,061
Oh, Jordan.
236
00:09:02,063 --> 00:09:04,464
- I didn't expect you today.
- I know.
237
00:09:04,466 --> 00:09:06,032
I just haven't heard from
you in a couple of days,
238
00:09:06,034 --> 00:09:07,367
so I wanted to check in.
239
00:09:07,369 --> 00:09:08,868
I'm always looking out for family.
240
00:09:08,870 --> 00:09:11,237
Well, aren't you just the sweetest.
241
00:09:11,239 --> 00:09:12,672
I'm fine, though. Thanks.
242
00:09:12,674 --> 00:09:13,873
I have your usual.
243
00:09:13,875 --> 00:09:15,074
Yeah, well, maybe next time.
244
00:09:15,076 --> 00:09:16,303
Are you okay, Doris?
245
00:09:17,746 --> 00:09:20,046
(sighs)
246
00:09:20,513 --> 00:09:22,479
(gasps)
247
00:09:22,481 --> 00:09:24,815
You ordered from DopeCo?!
248
00:09:24,817 --> 00:09:26,450
Well...
249
00:09:26,452 --> 00:09:27,818
I get the same product,
250
00:09:27,820 --> 00:09:30,137
and in under 20 minutes
for half the price.
251
00:09:30,162 --> 00:09:31,361
You just want your weed.
252
00:09:31,363 --> 00:09:33,163
You don't care how you get it.
253
00:09:33,165 --> 00:09:35,298
Oh, now don't get all sulky.
254
00:09:35,299 --> 00:09:36,765
You sound like my daughter.
255
00:09:36,767 --> 00:09:39,735
I mean, nobody made
her push three children
256
00:09:39,737 --> 00:09:40,969
through her cooch.
257
00:09:40,971 --> 00:09:43,138
(exhales sharply)
258
00:09:45,935 --> 00:09:48,744
Oh my God, so tired.
259
00:09:48,746 --> 00:09:51,030
One more delivery and then coffee.
260
00:09:51,949 --> 00:09:53,009
Oh my God.
261
00:09:53,318 --> 00:09:54,751
Is that him?
262
00:09:54,753 --> 00:09:56,662
The poncho burglar.
263
00:09:57,222 --> 00:09:58,588
(car honking)
264
00:09:58,590 --> 00:10:00,557
Oh my God, shut up!
265
00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:02,259
I'm fighting crime!
266
00:10:02,261 --> 00:10:05,228
Got you now, you
poncho-wearing mother(bleep)!
267
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:06,630
- Ha!
- (metal crunching)
268
00:10:06,632 --> 00:10:08,732
(siren whoops)
269
00:10:08,734 --> 00:10:11,368
(gasps) Oh, no no no no no no no no.
270
00:10:16,542 --> 00:10:17,741
License and registration.
271
00:10:17,743 --> 00:10:20,301
I'm so, so sorry.
272
00:10:20,326 --> 00:10:22,254
Believe it or not, I have
a perfect driving record,
273
00:10:22,279 --> 00:10:23,778
and I know that I was using my phone,
274
00:10:23,780 --> 00:10:25,513
but I was just trying to
stop the poncho burglar.
275
00:10:25,515 --> 00:10:27,015
He's been breaking into
all of the apartments
276
00:10:27,017 --> 00:10:27,904
in this neighborhood.
277
00:10:27,929 --> 00:10:29,301
And I guess my reflexes weren't 100%
278
00:10:29,326 --> 00:10:30,490
because I stayed up all night
279
00:10:30,515 --> 00:10:32,505
because I thought he was trying
to break into our apartment,
280
00:10:32,530 --> 00:10:34,396
and between that and
all the 420 madness,
281
00:10:34,398 --> 00:10:36,398
my brain's just been going in
a million different directions,
282
00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:38,000
but it's all for the common good.
283
00:10:38,002 --> 00:10:39,451
Did you say 420?
284
00:10:39,476 --> 00:10:40,846
No.
285
00:10:40,871 --> 00:10:42,896
What's in the bag, miss?
286
00:10:44,175 --> 00:10:45,441
It's not my weed.
287
00:10:45,443 --> 00:10:47,910
- So you're a dealer.
- It's all my weed?
288
00:10:47,912 --> 00:10:50,212
- Step out of the car. Now.
- (sighs)
289
00:11:00,936 --> 00:11:02,287
I want those shoes.
290
00:11:03,748 --> 00:11:05,248
Aren't they great?
291
00:11:05,250 --> 00:11:06,549
You know, they're made in Nigeria
292
00:11:06,551 --> 00:11:09,191
and for every pair sold,
they relocate a rhino.
293
00:11:09,216 --> 00:11:10,200
I can give you the website.
294
00:11:10,225 --> 00:11:13,327
I want those shoes. Now.
295
00:11:13,329 --> 00:11:14,872
Absolutely.
296
00:11:14,897 --> 00:11:16,296
Um, you know what?
297
00:11:16,298 --> 00:11:17,798
I will give these to you
298
00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:21,055
and I will buy a second
pair and help two rhinos.
299
00:11:22,451 --> 00:11:24,184
I want your dress.
300
00:11:24,874 --> 00:11:26,874
Leave her alone, Pam.
301
00:11:27,410 --> 00:11:28,939
Sorry, kid.
302
00:11:29,412 --> 00:11:31,041
First time in jail?
303
00:11:31,615 --> 00:11:33,148
What gave me away?
304
00:11:33,150 --> 00:11:34,583
Hang in there.
305
00:11:34,585 --> 00:11:37,686
It's taking a long time
processing everybody today.
306
00:11:37,688 --> 00:11:40,589
They brought in a busload
of us for celebrating 420.
307
00:11:40,591 --> 00:11:41,617
Really?
308
00:11:41,783 --> 00:11:42,865
I'm a...
309
00:11:44,228 --> 00:11:45,794
I'm in for 420 too.
310
00:11:45,796 --> 00:11:48,330
(whispering) Oh, happy holiday!
311
00:11:48,332 --> 00:11:50,265
Keep fighting the good fight.
312
00:11:50,267 --> 00:11:51,500
It's great to have a young woman
313
00:11:51,502 --> 00:11:53,569
at the forefront of the movement.
314
00:11:53,571 --> 00:11:55,370
Actually, I'm thinking
about giving it all up.
315
00:11:55,372 --> 00:11:56,972
No. Why?
316
00:11:56,974 --> 00:11:59,942
Oh, it's just getting
harder and harder out there,
317
00:11:59,944 --> 00:12:02,978
and my partner... actually,
she's my best friend...
318
00:12:02,980 --> 00:12:05,080
suddenly, we just want different things.
319
00:12:05,082 --> 00:12:07,716
I can't tell ya how much
that resonates with me.
320
00:12:07,718 --> 00:12:08,951
My husband Frank and I
321
00:12:08,953 --> 00:12:10,752
used to have a little
market in Pasadena.
322
00:12:10,754 --> 00:12:12,721
Then about ten years ago,
323
00:12:12,723 --> 00:12:15,402
a big supermarket chain
wanted to build there.
324
00:12:16,268 --> 00:12:19,161
Well, all the other stores
on the block were selling.
325
00:12:19,163 --> 00:12:20,796
Frank didn't want to.
326
00:12:20,798 --> 00:12:22,664
But they were offering so much money.
327
00:12:22,666 --> 00:12:24,933
Oh, the fights we had.
328
00:12:24,935 --> 00:12:26,235
Oh!
329
00:12:26,237 --> 00:12:28,270
Then finally, he agreed.
330
00:12:28,272 --> 00:12:34,142
But, without our store,
Frank had no purpose.
331
00:12:34,144 --> 00:12:36,178
He'd just wander around
the house from room to room
332
00:12:36,180 --> 00:12:38,258
with this empty look.
333
00:12:39,316 --> 00:12:41,383
He died about a year later.
334
00:12:41,385 --> 00:12:43,096
It broke his heart.
335
00:12:44,188 --> 00:12:45,654
Anyway.
336
00:12:45,656 --> 00:12:47,956
So tell me, what kind
of cake did you bake
337
00:12:47,958 --> 00:12:50,058
for the F??hrer's birthday this year?
338
00:12:50,928 --> 00:12:52,127
What?
339
00:12:52,129 --> 00:12:54,129
You know... 420!
340
00:12:54,131 --> 00:12:55,364
Hitler's birthday.
341
00:12:55,366 --> 00:12:56,565
Uh ha ha.
342
00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:58,133
Um... actually,
343
00:12:58,135 --> 00:13:01,470
I think that maybe we're
celebrating different 420s.
344
00:13:01,472 --> 00:13:02,859
What do you mean?
345
00:13:06,377 --> 00:13:07,709
A carrot cake.
346
00:13:07,711 --> 00:13:09,244
You know, I make a cream cheese frosting
347
00:13:09,246 --> 00:13:11,513
that'll knock your jackboots off.
348
00:13:11,515 --> 00:13:12,948
Let's exchange emails.
349
00:13:12,950 --> 00:13:15,517
You can celebrate with us next year!
350
00:13:15,519 --> 00:13:17,286
(woman) You made bail, little girl.
351
00:13:17,288 --> 00:13:18,520
Oh...
352
00:13:18,522 --> 00:13:20,842
Auf wiedersehen!
353
00:13:22,326 --> 00:13:24,555
Happy 420!
354
00:13:32,436 --> 00:13:34,803
I'm so sorry, Jordan.
355
00:13:34,805 --> 00:13:36,805
They confiscated everything.
356
00:13:36,807 --> 00:13:38,807
Our weed, our cash...
357
00:13:38,809 --> 00:13:40,208
No, I'm sorry.
358
00:13:40,210 --> 00:13:41,243
This was my idea.
359
00:13:41,245 --> 00:13:42,844
You wanted to be an event planner.
360
00:13:42,846 --> 00:13:44,046
I got you into this.
361
00:13:44,048 --> 00:13:46,148
Now you have a criminal record.
362
00:13:46,150 --> 00:13:49,217
Look, I'd rather lose my
business than my best friend.
363
00:13:49,219 --> 00:13:50,752
So, you were right.
364
00:13:50,754 --> 00:13:53,055
We're going to sell to DopeCo.
365
00:13:53,057 --> 00:13:54,089
No!
366
00:13:54,091 --> 00:13:56,258
We built Mary + Jane together.
367
00:13:56,260 --> 00:13:58,894
And I don't wanna know what our
lives would be like without it.
368
00:13:58,896 --> 00:14:01,263
I don't want us to lose our purpose.
369
00:14:01,265 --> 00:14:03,632
I also don't want to become
white supremacist hatemongers,
370
00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:05,033
although I'm not exactly
sure if that happened
371
00:14:05,035 --> 00:14:07,336
before or after she
sold the grocery store.
372
00:14:07,338 --> 00:14:08,537
What was that?
373
00:14:08,539 --> 00:14:09,938
All I am saying is that
374
00:14:09,940 --> 00:14:12,407
we have the rest of
our lives to sell out.
375
00:14:12,409 --> 00:14:13,608
But right now,
376
00:14:13,610 --> 00:14:16,812
we are young, badass independent women
377
00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:19,670
and we should stay that
way for as long as we can.
378
00:14:20,117 --> 00:14:23,585
But first, I am going to
go and wash off my feet
379
00:14:24,033 --> 00:14:25,366
and my other parts.
380
00:14:26,858 --> 00:14:30,170
We have had a lot of time
to consider your offer
381
00:14:30,194 --> 00:14:32,494
and our final answer is...
382
00:14:32,496 --> 00:14:33,595
NO!
383
00:14:33,597 --> 00:14:35,097
- We were going to say it together.
- Oh.
384
00:14:35,099 --> 00:14:36,568
Sorry. I just got excited.
385
00:14:36,593 --> 00:14:38,604
Let's do it again. One, two...
386
00:14:38,624 --> 00:14:40,524
Please! I got it. I heard the no.
387
00:14:40,526 --> 00:14:42,459
I'm disappointed, but
if that's your decision,
388
00:14:42,461 --> 00:14:43,960
I have to respect it,
389
00:14:43,962 --> 00:14:45,495
but why'd you feel the need
to come all the way down here
390
00:14:45,497 --> 00:14:46,763
and reject me in person?
391
00:14:46,765 --> 00:14:48,398
I'll tell you why,
buddy. Free coconut water.
392
00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:50,834
Also, last time, I didn't
take any clicky pens.
393
00:14:50,836 --> 00:14:52,435
Also, I wanna see the look on your face
394
00:14:52,437 --> 00:14:56,940
when two independent badass
women stand up to the Man.
395
00:14:56,942 --> 00:14:59,690
Coconut water mic drop, out!
396
00:15:00,546 --> 00:15:03,680
Well, to tell you the truth,
I'm glad you came down here.
397
00:15:03,682 --> 00:15:05,649
Because, you know, we just closed a deal
398
00:15:05,651 --> 00:15:08,185
to acquire Humboldt Meadows.
399
00:15:08,187 --> 00:15:09,886
They're your suppliers, aren't they?
400
00:15:09,888 --> 00:15:13,390
So now, not only will you not
get the DopeCo buyout money,
401
00:15:13,392 --> 00:15:16,149
but you won't have any
weed to sell either.
402
00:15:16,717 --> 00:15:18,417
(satisfied sigh)
403
00:15:18,419 --> 00:15:19,685
You're right.
404
00:15:19,687 --> 00:15:22,254
That was a lot more
satisfying in person.
405
00:15:25,678 --> 00:15:27,077
It's over.
406
00:15:27,079 --> 00:15:31,348
In one day, DopeCo killed
420 and our entire business.
407
00:15:31,350 --> 00:15:33,383
So what do you wanna do?
408
00:15:33,385 --> 00:15:35,518
There's only one thing we can do now.
409
00:15:36,374 --> 00:15:38,007
One last post.
410
00:15:38,943 --> 00:15:42,845
(sighs) Dear Loyal Customers,
411
00:15:42,847 --> 00:15:45,848
On what should be the
happiest day of the year,
412
00:15:45,850 --> 00:15:49,365
Mary + Jane has some
sad news to announce.
413
00:15:50,621 --> 00:15:52,223
We've lost our supplier
414
00:15:52,248 --> 00:15:57,259
and have no weed to sell
you on this joyous holiday...
415
00:15:57,261 --> 00:16:00,796
or ever...
416
00:16:00,798 --> 00:16:04,005
So it is with a heavy
heart that we say we...
417
00:16:05,870 --> 00:16:09,248
are officially closed for business.
418
00:16:09,273 --> 00:16:11,784
Happy 420, guys.
419
00:16:11,809 --> 00:16:14,543
Love and buds always.
420
00:16:14,545 --> 00:16:15,745
Mary + Jane.
421
00:16:15,747 --> 00:16:17,762
Sad face.
422
00:16:52,323 --> 00:16:54,290
Jordan! The door!
423
00:16:54,292 --> 00:16:56,014
It's the poncho burglar!
424
00:16:58,496 --> 00:16:59,853
Not today.
425
00:17:00,431 --> 00:17:01,631
Yaaaaaah!
426
00:17:01,633 --> 00:17:02,632
Oh!
427
00:17:02,634 --> 00:17:04,704
Guys, what are you all doing here?
428
00:17:04,729 --> 00:17:06,502
Well, we all saw your Instagram post
429
00:17:06,504 --> 00:17:08,938
and we couldn't stand
the thought of a 420
430
00:17:08,940 --> 00:17:10,172
without Mary + Jane.
431
00:17:10,174 --> 00:17:11,874
So we all decided to bring you our weed.
432
00:17:11,876 --> 00:17:14,477
So you'd have something to deliver
to the rest of your customers.
433
00:17:14,479 --> 00:17:16,479
You've helped so many
people over the past year,
434
00:17:16,481 --> 00:17:18,614
we're not gonna just
let you up and quit.
435
00:17:18,616 --> 00:17:22,051
Without you guys, I would
be bedridden with back pain.
436
00:17:22,053 --> 00:17:24,253
But Jordan, you found
me the perfect strain
437
00:17:24,255 --> 00:17:27,923
to keep me high-fiving
those kids across the street.
438
00:17:27,925 --> 00:17:29,625
Yeah, and I have terrible period cramps
439
00:17:29,627 --> 00:17:32,061
but Paige brought me some
awesome Sticky Gervais
440
00:17:32,063 --> 00:17:33,829
that was just amaze-balls.
441
00:17:33,831 --> 00:17:36,899
And I'm sorry I even thought
about switching dealers.
442
00:17:36,901 --> 00:17:38,668
You girls are my family.
443
00:17:38,670 --> 00:17:40,269
Doris, you left the apartment.
444
00:17:40,271 --> 00:17:42,813
First time out in 15 years.
445
00:17:42,838 --> 00:17:45,816
Of course you realize this
means I have to live here now.
446
00:17:46,511 --> 00:17:48,744
Oh, actually, yeah, I
might have to live here too
447
00:17:48,746 --> 00:17:50,646
'cause that restaurant boat?
448
00:17:50,648 --> 00:17:51,914
Did not blow doors down.
449
00:17:51,916 --> 00:17:55,584
Basically, we're all here
to say (bleep) DopeCo.
450
00:17:55,586 --> 00:17:57,853
And long live Mary + Jane.
451
00:17:57,855 --> 00:17:59,775
Yeah! (clapping)
452
00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:02,113
It's a 420 miracle!
453
00:18:02,927 --> 00:18:04,126
Guys!
454
00:18:04,128 --> 00:18:06,195
Aww!
455
00:18:09,534 --> 00:18:13,135
I think my first 420 was the best 420.
456
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:15,158
They're only gonna get better.
457
00:18:16,046 --> 00:18:18,847
Get up off that beanbag chair
458
00:18:18,849 --> 00:18:21,717
There's something
magic in the air
459
00:18:21,719 --> 00:18:27,289
We've waited patiently
all freakin' year
460
00:18:27,291 --> 00:18:32,394
Now 420 Day is finally...
461
00:18:33,897 --> 00:18:35,397
462
00:18:36,567 --> 00:18:39,267
Life's a big ball of amazing
463
00:18:39,611 --> 00:18:42,237
When the sun ain't
all that's blazing
464
00:18:42,239 --> 00:18:47,409
And we've got Permagrin
from ear to ear
465
00:18:47,411 --> 00:18:52,547
Now 420 Day is finally...
466
00:18:54,451 --> 00:18:55,651
467
00:18:55,653 --> 00:18:58,253
My pee may be unclean
468
00:18:58,255 --> 00:19:01,323
But my mind is worry-free
469
00:19:01,325 --> 00:19:04,159
It's easy bein' green
470
00:19:04,161 --> 00:19:07,496
When your BFF is THC
471
00:19:07,498 --> 00:19:09,004
Ho ho ho!
472
00:19:09,029 --> 00:19:10,559
(gasps) Ganja Claus?!
473
00:19:10,599 --> 00:19:11,832
You came!
474
00:19:11,834 --> 00:19:13,266
Of course I came.
475
00:19:13,268 --> 00:19:14,801
You know I couldn't let a 420 go by
476
00:19:14,803 --> 00:19:17,237
without stopping to
see my favorite girls,
477
00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:18,638
Mary + Jane.
478
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:21,308
Um, actually I'm Paige
and this is Jordan.
479
00:19:21,310 --> 00:19:22,943
This is for you, Mary.
480
00:19:22,945 --> 00:19:24,277
And Jane, this is for you.
481
00:19:24,279 --> 00:19:25,846
I heard you lost a pair on the inside.
482
00:19:25,848 --> 00:19:27,147
Thanks!
483
00:19:27,149 --> 00:19:29,483
Y'all keep up the good
work, and remember.
484
00:19:29,485 --> 00:19:31,880
The real true meaning of 420...
485
00:19:32,721 --> 00:19:34,521
Aw (bleep), I can't remember.
486
00:19:34,523 --> 00:19:35,922
Finish your song though.
487
00:19:35,924 --> 00:19:36,968
I'm gone.
488
00:19:38,126 --> 00:19:40,560
489
00:19:40,562 --> 00:19:42,488
Making your brain
cells disappear
490
00:19:42,513 --> 00:19:44,019
Like we will take the blame
491
00:19:44,044 --> 00:19:46,779
Mary + Jane play
Arranging the Membrane
492
00:19:46,781 --> 00:19:48,113
I'm the Cheech to your Chong
493
00:19:48,115 --> 00:19:49,715
You're the wind beneath my bong
494
00:19:49,716 --> 00:19:51,048
Never mess with a blizzard
495
00:19:51,050 --> 00:19:54,356
When our pure
brand is this strong
496
00:19:54,381 --> 00:19:57,132
Life's a big ball of amazing
497
00:19:57,157 --> 00:19:59,991
'Cause the sun ain't
all that's blazing
498
00:19:59,993 --> 00:20:03,394
Now let's get this (bleep)
through the stratosphere
499
00:20:03,396 --> 00:20:05,663
(through the stratosphere)
500
00:20:05,665 --> 00:20:07,331
'Cause 420 Day
501
00:20:07,333 --> 00:20:08,633
(420)
502
00:20:08,635 --> 00:20:11,602
420 Day
503
00:20:11,604 --> 00:20:14,272
420 Day
504
00:20:14,274 --> 00:20:19,277
Is finally
505
00:20:19,876 --> 00:20:25,973
Here
506
00:20:27,668 --> 00:20:31,287
The global conglomerate DopeCo has
come into federal investigation today
507
00:20:31,312 --> 00:20:36,195
after its delivery service experienced an
unfortunate glimpse in their operations.
508
00:20:36,328 --> 00:20:38,039
According to reports,
509
00:20:38,064 --> 00:20:41,719
subscribers to Diapers Now were
delivered an unwelcome surprise,
510
00:20:41,743 --> 00:20:43,523
packages of marihuana,
511
00:20:43,547 --> 00:20:45,547
while customers expecting
marihuana received...
512
00:20:45,571 --> 00:20:47,367
you guessed it, diapers.
513
00:20:47,391 --> 00:20:50,476
Since the sell of marihuana
is still federally illegal,
514
00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:53,930
all of DopeCo's operations
have been indefinitely suspended
515
00:20:53,954 --> 00:20:58,031
until the Federal Trade Commission
completes their investigation.
516
00:21:00,445 --> 00:21:03,351
Man, this 420 parade gets
better every year.
517
00:21:03,375 --> 00:21:05,375
Spectacular.
518
00:21:14,983 --> 00:21:16,484
Idiot.
519
00:21:18,319 --> 00:21:20,319
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www.addic7ed.com
520
00:21:20,369 --> 00:21:24,919
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