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1
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:05,100
Okay, five rows to go.
2
00:00:05,169 --> 00:00:06,502
Why do we have to rotate this again?
3
00:00:06,571 --> 00:00:07,359
So it doesn't get moldy.
4
00:00:07,384 --> 00:00:08,783
Jordan, I am your business partner.
5
00:00:08,852 --> 00:00:10,734
You really should have asked
me before buying this much.
6
00:00:10,774 --> 00:00:13,929
No, no, this is HufflePuff.
This strain commands top dollar.
7
00:00:13,953 --> 00:00:15,386
And I got it for half off.
8
00:00:15,454 --> 00:00:17,414
Trust me, you'll be thanking
me when we sell all this.
9
00:00:17,439 --> 00:00:19,534
We're gonna be 80 when
we sell all of this.
10
00:00:19,559 --> 00:00:21,140
Also, we really need the cash.
11
00:00:21,164 --> 00:00:23,631
Did you see we got a second
notice on our power bill?
12
00:00:23,945 --> 00:00:25,600
Okay, I'm sorry... we'll go to the DWP
13
00:00:25,669 --> 00:00:26,935
and we'll pay the bill tomorrow.
14
00:00:27,003 --> 00:00:29,037
(scoffs) No, I'm sorry.
15
00:00:29,062 --> 00:00:31,406
God, I had the worst date
with this guy last night.
16
00:00:31,474 --> 00:00:33,408
I'm still so bummed about it.
17
00:00:33,476 --> 00:00:35,376
Okay, sat across from
him for like two hours,
18
00:00:35,445 --> 00:00:37,345
he didn't ask me a single
question about myself.
19
00:00:37,414 --> 00:00:39,681
And then I caught him
Tindering under the table.
20
00:00:39,749 --> 00:00:40,748
Ugh, bad form.
21
00:00:40,817 --> 00:00:43,218
I think I'm just done dating in L.A.
22
00:00:43,286 --> 00:00:45,153
I mean, seriously, is it so much to ask
23
00:00:45,222 --> 00:00:46,554
just to have someone listen to you?
24
00:00:46,623 --> 00:00:48,223
Girl, if I was dating you,
25
00:00:48,299 --> 00:00:50,199
I would listen to the shit out of you.
26
00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:51,482
Thanks, lady.
27
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,358
And trust me about
this HufflePuff strain.
28
00:00:53,383 --> 00:00:54,420
It's gonna sell.
29
00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:56,255
I have a good feeling about this.
30
00:00:56,324 --> 00:00:58,591
- _
-
31
00:00:58,659 --> 00:01:00,793
Is is possible it's getting bigger?
32
00:01:00,862 --> 00:01:03,362
Or are we getting smaller?
33
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,532
34
00:01:08,849 --> 00:01:10,949
(Paige) What is this line?
35
00:01:11,018 --> 00:01:13,285
Ugh, there's Bentley.
36
00:01:13,354 --> 00:01:15,454
He's like the UTI of weed dealers.
37
00:01:15,523 --> 00:01:18,123
And then she wasn't a "she," and I was
like, "So what?" You know what I mean?
38
00:01:18,192 --> 00:01:20,359
- 'Scuse me? What is all this?
- Oh, wow.
39
00:01:20,428 --> 00:01:22,428
It's Beach East, dummies.
40
00:01:22,496 --> 00:01:23,529
- What?
- Heh, of course,
41
00:01:23,597 --> 00:01:24,797
you wouldn't know about it.
42
00:01:24,865 --> 00:01:26,532
It's the premiere beach experience
43
00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:27,733
for the Eastside.
44
00:01:27,758 --> 00:01:30,212
It's got lifeguards, sands, lime-aritas,
45
00:01:30,237 --> 00:01:33,072
broken glass, lost children, mm-hmm.
46
00:01:33,140 --> 00:01:35,574
Yeah, but the actual beach
is only like 40 minutes away.
47
00:01:35,643 --> 00:01:38,377
Anybody can get into
the actual beach, mm-kay?
48
00:01:38,446 --> 00:01:40,345
It's just... whoa.
49
00:01:40,414 --> 00:01:41,947
You guys smell weird.
50
00:01:42,016 --> 00:01:45,284
Did somebody buy that skunk-ass
HufflePuff weed in bulk?
51
00:01:45,352 --> 00:01:47,252
Oh, my God, you did, didn't you?
52
00:01:47,321 --> 00:01:48,754
Goddamn it.
53
00:01:48,823 --> 00:01:50,322
How did you know about
this place, anyway?
54
00:01:50,391 --> 00:01:51,890
Because Immaeatit posted about it
55
00:01:51,959 --> 00:01:54,860
on his Whaaaaaaat.com channel.
56
00:01:54,929 --> 00:01:56,095
All these people are waiting in line
57
00:01:56,163 --> 00:01:58,063
because a guy in a
viral video told them to?
58
00:01:58,132 --> 00:02:01,166
Hey, Immaeatit has
millions of subscribers.
59
00:02:01,235 --> 00:02:02,570
He's an influencer.
60
00:02:02,602 --> 00:02:06,270
So why don't you scatter
before they see me with you,
61
00:02:06,339 --> 00:02:08,272
and then they don't let me in.
62
00:02:08,341 --> 00:02:09,407
Go on!
63
00:02:09,953 --> 00:02:11,575
Don't scrunch your nose at me.
64
00:02:11,644 --> 00:02:13,110
Yo, yo, yo, it's Immaeatit!
65
00:02:13,179 --> 00:02:14,645
Everyone check out Beach
East in Silver Lake.
66
00:02:14,714 --> 00:02:16,147
It's a beach, but
inside, all right?
67
00:02:16,215 --> 00:02:18,516
I just found a burrito
in a nail salon dumpster
68
00:02:18,584 --> 00:02:20,418
under a pile of hair extensions.
69
00:02:20,486 --> 00:02:23,387
Immaeatit!
70
00:02:23,456 --> 00:02:24,822
Okay, this is our answer. Look at this.
71
00:02:24,891 --> 00:02:26,857
We'll hire a viral video
guy to plug our business.
72
00:02:26,926 --> 00:02:28,526
Girl, I'm gonna prove to you
that buying a wall of weed
73
00:02:28,594 --> 00:02:31,495
was not stupid by hiring
a guy who eats garbage.
74
00:02:31,564 --> 00:02:32,663
Yeah!
75
00:02:36,002 --> 00:02:39,070
Uh... yeah, thank you. I'm so sorry.
76
00:02:39,812 --> 00:02:41,839
Immaeatit can't do it.
He's in the hospital.
77
00:02:41,908 --> 00:02:44,008
- Why? What'd he eat?
- He got stabbed.
78
00:02:44,077 --> 00:02:45,576
- Oh.
- I know.
79
00:02:45,645 --> 00:02:49,639
But I've compiled a list of
the top-rated Whaaaaaaat...
80
00:02:49,664 --> 00:02:50,581
You don't have to say it every time.
81
00:02:50,606 --> 00:02:52,083
- Oh. Right.
- Yeah.
82
00:02:52,151 --> 00:02:53,684
Okay, these guys
83
00:02:53,753 --> 00:02:56,087
prank each other until
one of 'em throws up.
84
00:02:56,461 --> 00:02:57,955
Um, this girl...
85
00:02:58,024 --> 00:03:00,691
puts makeup on with her feet.
86
00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:02,360
Uh, this girl puts makeup on her feet.
87
00:03:02,428 --> 00:03:03,828
Close.
88
00:03:03,896 --> 00:03:05,262
And these are goats screaming at cops.
89
00:03:05,331 --> 00:03:06,897
(goat screeching)
90
00:03:06,966 --> 00:03:08,432
(female announcer)
Tired of dating frogs
91
00:03:08,501 --> 00:03:10,368
instead of princes
in Los Angeles?
92
00:03:10,436 --> 00:03:11,769
- Yeah.
- Why date real guys
93
00:03:11,838 --> 00:03:13,971
when you can create
the perfect guy?
94
00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:15,573
What is this?
95
00:03:15,641 --> 00:03:16,874
Download the Prinz app
96
00:03:16,943 --> 00:03:18,676
to create your ideal
Prinz Charming.
97
00:03:18,745 --> 00:03:20,511
Yeah, Prinz Charming, we get it... skip.
98
00:03:20,580 --> 00:03:21,712
Oh, yeah, skip all day.
99
00:03:21,781 --> 00:03:24,281
Oh, a gamer! MasonFlipsCubes... sweet!
100
00:03:24,350 --> 00:03:26,615
Gamers love weed.
101
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:28,498
What's up, everybody?
It's MasonFlipsCubes.
102
00:03:28,523 --> 00:03:29,520
Here we go.
103
00:03:29,589 --> 00:03:31,455
Okay, he plays a game called Cube Move.
104
00:03:31,524 --> 00:03:33,824
Basically, he just
flips and stacks cubes.
105
00:03:33,893 --> 00:03:36,127
But look at how many subscribers he has.
106
00:03:36,195 --> 00:03:37,561
I mean, people travel to competitions
107
00:03:37,630 --> 00:03:39,147
to watch him play.
108
00:03:39,937 --> 00:03:42,633
He made $5 million last year?!
109
00:03:42,702 --> 00:03:44,975
It is a sad day when
any kid with a phone
110
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:47,226
can make more money than a drug dealer.
111
00:03:48,541 --> 00:03:50,508
Say, baby, what's your name?
112
00:03:50,576 --> 00:03:53,444
Are you the one
Mary, are you Jane?
113
00:03:53,469 --> 00:03:55,469
Synced and corrected by Chitorafa
www.addic7ed.com
114
00:03:57,216 --> 00:03:59,150
Noodles is pregnant?
115
00:03:59,383 --> 00:04:01,990
Well, who let her outside?
116
00:04:02,015 --> 00:04:03,254
No, I can't find another (bleep) cat
117
00:04:03,322 --> 00:04:05,671
with 200 million followers.
118
00:04:05,696 --> 00:04:07,095
Get... get the cat in the box.
119
00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:08,630
'Scuse me, Andrew?
120
00:04:08,699 --> 00:04:09,998
Mason's manager?
121
00:04:10,067 --> 00:04:12,968
Hi. Jordan. Mary + Jane.
122
00:04:13,036 --> 00:04:14,369
- Oh, right, the drug dealer.
- Yeah.
123
00:04:14,438 --> 00:04:16,137
Okay, listen, I'm gonna level with you.
124
00:04:16,206 --> 00:04:17,772
Mason is very much in demand right now.
125
00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:19,641
Why don't I hook you
up with Dranks Pranks?
126
00:04:19,710 --> 00:04:21,142
- Or, uh, Twerking Grandma?
- No, no, no.
127
00:04:21,211 --> 00:04:22,711
Mason is who we want, and don't worry.
128
00:04:22,779 --> 00:04:24,145
He's gonna love me.
129
00:04:24,214 --> 00:04:26,848
I have a giant wall of
rotting weed that says has to.
130
00:04:26,917 --> 00:04:28,183
Well, if you want to win him over,
131
00:04:28,252 --> 00:04:29,651
you'll have to meet with
him in his cube cave.
132
00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:31,074
You know, if you do actually get him
133
00:04:31,105 --> 00:04:32,627
to promote Mary + Jane,
134
00:04:32,652 --> 00:04:34,985
that Mason bump is a game-changer.
135
00:04:35,046 --> 00:04:37,613
There's tons of fans in
L.A. They all love weed.
136
00:04:37,682 --> 00:04:40,383
You think people watch that
shit not stoned? I mean, come on.
137
00:04:40,730 --> 00:04:43,252
Hi, Therese, it's
Paige from Mary + Jane.
138
00:04:43,322 --> 00:04:45,589
We're running a special
on some amazing HufflePuff
139
00:04:45,657 --> 00:04:47,023
we have this week, and...
140
00:04:47,091 --> 00:04:49,759
(British accent) the
Sorting Hat picked you!
141
00:04:49,827 --> 00:04:51,160
Hello?
142
00:04:51,229 --> 00:04:53,886
You will be flying higher than a snitch.
143
00:04:53,917 --> 00:04:57,033
If it was bad, we'd call it
The Weed That Must Not Be Named.
144
00:04:57,101 --> 00:04:58,000
Oh!
145
00:04:59,170 --> 00:05:00,269
Uhh.
146
00:05:07,761 --> 00:05:09,134
_
147
00:05:09,159 --> 00:05:09,879
(phone chimes)
148
00:05:09,947 --> 00:05:11,449
Welcome to Prinz.
149
00:05:11,474 --> 00:05:13,424
Create your ultimate
Prinz Charming
150
00:05:13,449 --> 00:05:15,182
with a brief survey.
151
00:05:15,251 --> 00:05:16,917
Okay, lame.
152
00:05:16,986 --> 00:05:19,353
Um, let's see.
153
00:05:19,421 --> 00:05:20,988
"What is your favorite color?"
154
00:05:21,056 --> 00:05:22,055
Light Blue.
155
00:05:22,124 --> 00:05:23,757
You've selected "Handsome,
156
00:05:23,826 --> 00:05:25,744
but doesn't know
how handsome he is."
157
00:05:25,769 --> 00:05:30,164
Okay, uh, "What is your favorite
Thanksgiving Day side dish?"
158
00:05:30,232 --> 00:05:31,832
(scoffs) Mashed potatoes.
159
00:05:32,300 --> 00:05:36,303
You've selected
stable and supportive.
160
00:05:36,372 --> 00:05:38,438
161
00:05:38,507 --> 00:05:41,175
Hey, I don't know, I guess
it's maybe that I die first,
162
00:05:41,243 --> 00:05:43,043
and then he dies... no, no, no, no, no.
163
00:05:43,112 --> 00:05:45,379
He would die first, and then
I would die of a broken heart,
164
00:05:45,447 --> 00:05:46,647
John Green style.
165
00:05:46,715 --> 00:05:48,882
- (phone chimes)
- Survey completed.
166
00:05:49,081 --> 00:05:53,420
Introducing your ideal
boyfriend: Channing.
167
00:05:53,489 --> 00:05:56,523
Wow... you are beautiful.
168
00:05:56,592 --> 00:05:58,192
Oh, my God, come on.
169
00:05:58,260 --> 00:06:00,527
No, really, I didn't
know what to expect.
170
00:06:00,596 --> 00:06:03,263
Sorry... I'm Channing.
171
00:06:03,462 --> 00:06:06,815
So, Paige... tell
me about yourself.
172
00:06:06,902 --> 00:06:09,765
(scoffs, stammers) Okay, come on.
173
00:06:09,790 --> 00:06:12,573
Like I'm gonna talk to some
stupid, fake phone person.
174
00:06:12,641 --> 00:06:14,593
(snickers) Weak.
175
00:06:14,618 --> 00:06:16,226
(Channing) Look, I know
thatit's a little weird.
176
00:06:16,251 --> 00:06:19,152
But give it a shot.
I'm here to listen.
177
00:06:19,751 --> 00:06:20,920
What are you up to, Paige?
178
00:06:21,813 --> 00:06:25,425
I'm just sorting my giant
wall of rotting weed.
179
00:06:25,493 --> 00:06:26,719
You sound upset.
180
00:06:26,728 --> 00:06:28,461
Well, I am, because, yet again,
181
00:06:28,530 --> 00:06:30,130
Jordan has dreamed up some amazing plan,
182
00:06:30,198 --> 00:06:32,117
but I'm stuck doing all the grunt work.
183
00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:33,808
That must be really hard for you.
184
00:06:34,212 --> 00:06:35,297
It is.
185
00:06:36,321 --> 00:06:37,412
Thanks.
186
00:06:37,481 --> 00:06:38,780
I'm here to listen.
187
00:06:38,849 --> 00:06:40,415
You know, you are so cute
188
00:06:40,484 --> 00:06:41,850
when you do that little
thing with your nose
189
00:06:41,918 --> 00:06:43,952
that only you can do... Paige.
190
00:06:45,922 --> 00:06:48,390
191
00:06:53,563 --> 00:06:56,768
What? This kid is 19?
192
00:06:57,300 --> 00:07:00,101
What the (bleep) have I
been doing with my life?
193
00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:02,937
He lives in a house like
this for playing video games?
194
00:07:03,006 --> 00:07:04,472
- (scoffs)
- (cell phone ringing)
195
00:07:04,541 --> 00:07:06,341
Oh! Hello, Mary + Jane.
196
00:07:06,410 --> 00:07:07,942
(Scottish man) Ah, hello!
197
00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:09,978
Yeah, I'd like to
purchase a large,
198
00:07:10,046 --> 00:07:13,782
Costco-sized quantity
of your reefer product!
199
00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:15,183
Great! Amazing!
200
00:07:15,207 --> 00:07:17,086
We're actually running a
big special right now on...
201
00:07:17,087 --> 00:07:19,921
On bullshit, moldy
weed! Ya better burn it.
202
00:07:19,990 --> 00:07:21,756
(bleep) you, Bentley!
God... you know what?
203
00:07:21,825 --> 00:07:23,758
Your Scottish accent sucks!
204
00:07:23,827 --> 00:07:24,859
No, it doesn't!
205
00:07:24,928 --> 00:07:26,895
(muttering) Stupid...
206
00:07:27,898 --> 00:07:31,065
So, Mason, huge fan.
207
00:07:31,134 --> 00:07:34,869
Um... I really admire the way you...
208
00:07:34,938 --> 00:07:37,639
flip and stack cubes.
209
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:39,174
Uh, Mary + Jane would be honored
210
00:07:39,242 --> 00:07:41,940
if you would wear our gear
in your next competition.
211
00:07:42,550 --> 00:07:44,546
I've given your marijuana
venture some thought.
212
00:07:44,614 --> 00:07:46,881
In my two long years as a businessman,
213
00:07:46,950 --> 00:07:48,750
I've learned its vital
I protect my brand.
214
00:07:48,819 --> 00:07:51,586
White Castle wanted me to eat
burgers during competitions.
215
00:07:51,655 --> 00:07:53,054
- Seven figures.
- Sweet!
216
00:07:53,123 --> 00:07:54,556
- I said no.
- Right, say no to that.
217
00:07:54,624 --> 00:07:56,991
They have square burgers,
and I refuse to be limited
218
00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:58,126
to cube-shaped products.
219
00:07:58,195 --> 00:07:59,237
Well, I am proud to tell you
220
00:07:59,262 --> 00:08:01,743
that our weed has no right angles.
221
00:08:03,333 --> 00:08:04,299
(sighs)
222
00:08:05,469 --> 00:08:07,268
- I'll need to try it.
- Yeah, absolutely.
223
00:08:07,293 --> 00:08:08,226
I'll hook you up.
224
00:08:10,941 --> 00:08:12,841
Oh, now! Oh.
225
00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:14,995
226
00:08:15,020 --> 00:08:16,555
Then Laurie posts a picture of her bag,
227
00:08:16,580 --> 00:08:18,613
and I say "love it," but I put a period
228
00:08:18,682 --> 00:08:21,282
and seven exclamation points,
and she got all offended.
229
00:08:21,351 --> 00:08:22,776
I didn't even know that was a thing.
230
00:08:22,801 --> 00:08:24,368
Sounds like she's jealous.
231
00:08:24,393 --> 00:08:25,526
Thank you!
232
00:08:26,597 --> 00:08:28,223
Does this shirt look too tenty?
233
00:08:28,291 --> 00:08:30,191
You look beautiful in everything.
234
00:08:32,362 --> 00:08:33,972
You...
235
00:08:33,995 --> 00:08:35,962
Have you really been
to all these places?
236
00:08:36,031 --> 00:08:38,655
No... my fans just send me those.
237
00:08:39,067 --> 00:08:40,665
I don't really go anywhere.
238
00:08:40,690 --> 00:08:42,902
Yeah, but you can't
play videogames 24/7.
239
00:08:42,971 --> 00:08:44,170
You have to get out sometime.
240
00:08:44,239 --> 00:08:46,290
Oh, my orthodontist is in Tarzana.
241
00:08:46,315 --> 00:08:48,576
Dude, there's a whole world out
there you should be experiencing.
242
00:08:48,644 --> 00:08:50,642
- You're 12 years old.
- I'm 19!
243
00:08:50,667 --> 00:08:52,947
What?! Then there's even more
you should be experiencing.
244
00:08:53,015 --> 00:08:54,315
You're 40 minutes from
the mountains, dude.
245
00:08:54,384 --> 00:08:56,132
You're 40 minutes from the beach.
246
00:08:56,552 --> 00:08:58,085
You're right.
247
00:08:58,643 --> 00:08:59,720
We need to go to the beach!
248
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:02,423
What? No, I can't... I
can't take you to the beach.
249
00:09:02,737 --> 00:09:04,592
You know who also didn't
take me to the beach?
250
00:09:04,823 --> 00:09:05,559
White Castle.
251
00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:06,794
To the beach!
252
00:09:08,164 --> 00:09:09,864
(crowd chattering faintly)
253
00:09:09,932 --> 00:09:12,800
Okay, Mary + Jane is proud to present...
254
00:09:12,869 --> 00:09:14,034
the beach.
255
00:09:14,103 --> 00:09:17,204
Now, will you please
agree to wear Mary and...
256
00:09:17,273 --> 00:09:19,407
Oh, my God, what the
(bleep) are you doing?
257
00:09:19,475 --> 00:09:22,309
(bleep), dude, have you seriously
never been to the beach before?
258
00:09:22,378 --> 00:09:23,823
Oh, is this not what
you do at the beach?
259
00:09:23,848 --> 00:09:25,246
No, this is not what
you do at the beach.
260
00:09:25,314 --> 00:09:27,081
(laughing) Oh... I always...
261
00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:29,483
- I'm gonna go find Nemo!
- No, Mason, what are you doing?
262
00:09:29,552 --> 00:09:31,118
(cell phone ringing)
263
00:09:33,289 --> 00:09:35,222
(New York man) Hey,
yo, this is the police.
264
00:09:35,291 --> 00:09:37,324
We got a call about
a terrible smell
265
00:09:37,393 --> 00:09:38,859
coming from your apartment,
266
00:09:38,928 --> 00:09:40,761
Yeah, we suspect it's a...
267
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:42,696
dead business! Ha ha ha ha...
268
00:09:42,765 --> 00:09:43,864
Hey, (bleep) you, Bentley, okay?
269
00:09:43,933 --> 00:09:45,065
Your police accent sucks.
270
00:09:45,134 --> 00:09:46,519
No, it doesn't!
271
00:09:50,212 --> 00:09:55,937
272
00:09:55,962 --> 00:09:57,495
Imma blaze high
till the day I die
273
00:09:57,564 --> 00:09:59,497
Sweat the shit out,
every tear, every lie
274
00:09:59,566 --> 00:10:01,299
Hey, anybody wanna
dance with me?
275
00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:03,201
Sipping on my rum
in the corner still
276
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:06,671
277
00:10:06,696 --> 00:10:10,475
Too original for them pawdie
278
00:10:10,544 --> 00:10:12,877
279
00:10:17,551 --> 00:10:18,550
Nathan, are you okay?
280
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,385
Look at me. Are you okay?
281
00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:21,519
- Uhh!
- Ohh!
282
00:10:25,892 --> 00:10:27,524
I'm so sor...
283
00:10:27,593 --> 00:10:28,726
It's okay.
284
00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:31,695
285
00:10:34,066 --> 00:10:35,933
Hey, they have any hand sanitizer?
286
00:10:36,002 --> 00:10:37,534
No, but they had this
artisanal beard oil.
287
00:10:37,603 --> 00:10:39,970
It smells like juniper and entitlement.
288
00:10:40,039 --> 00:10:40,986
Thank you.
289
00:10:42,275 --> 00:10:43,340
Listen...
290
00:10:43,409 --> 00:10:45,309
I'm not just saying this because you...
291
00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:47,711
let me make you into
a sand mermaid and I...
292
00:10:47,780 --> 00:10:49,480
ralphed on you, but...
293
00:10:49,548 --> 00:10:52,016
Jordan, this has been
the best day of my life.
294
00:10:52,084 --> 00:10:53,918
So I will probably wear Mary + Jane
295
00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:55,119
for a very large fee.
296
00:10:55,187 --> 00:10:56,587
Mason, thank you!
297
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,589
Oh, and wait till you see the nasty gear
298
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:01,423
we're gonna put you in...
you're gonna look so dope.
299
00:11:02,628 --> 00:11:03,627
To the Mason bump.
300
00:11:03,688 --> 00:11:05,321
See ya, weed wall.
301
00:11:05,626 --> 00:11:07,631
(laughing) But then I had a boyfriend
302
00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:10,555
while I was at Northwestern
who stole $500 from me
303
00:11:10,580 --> 00:11:12,227
and my Social Security number.
304
00:11:12,252 --> 00:11:14,838
I mean, he was nice
compared to guys in L.A.
305
00:11:14,907 --> 00:11:16,974
You deserve so much better.
306
00:11:17,043 --> 00:11:20,148
307
00:11:20,173 --> 00:11:22,279
You know, I thought this
was gonna be so weird.
308
00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:25,082
But... we're just like everybody else.
309
00:11:25,151 --> 00:11:26,917
Nobody else has what we have.
310
00:11:26,986 --> 00:11:28,290
Excuse me.
311
00:11:28,314 --> 00:11:30,514
Did I hear you say you
went to Northwestern?
312
00:11:30,583 --> 00:11:31,582
I went to Northwestern.
313
00:11:32,055 --> 00:11:33,250
And...
314
00:11:35,788 --> 00:11:36,954
Is that guy bothering you?
315
00:11:37,023 --> 00:11:39,457
Channing... you jealous?
316
00:11:39,525 --> 00:11:40,758
Of course I am.
317
00:11:40,827 --> 00:11:41,959
I don't wanna share you, Paige.
318
00:11:42,028 --> 00:11:43,632
I'm here to please you...
319
00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:46,253
in every way imaginable.
320
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:47,965
Shh.
321
00:11:48,034 --> 00:11:49,633
Let's go back to your place,
322
00:11:49,702 --> 00:11:51,802
you slip your headphones in.
323
00:11:51,871 --> 00:11:53,433
Let's just say...
324
00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:56,436
you're gonna need
to be hands-free.
325
00:11:57,343 --> 00:11:59,276
You like a hotter Margot Robbie.
326
00:12:01,380 --> 00:12:02,613
(chair clatters)
327
00:12:02,682 --> 00:12:04,548
328
00:12:04,617 --> 00:12:06,984
I know, I can't stop
thinking about it, either.
329
00:12:07,053 --> 00:12:08,853
- (door slams)
- Hey, do you want me to take a shift?
330
00:12:08,921 --> 00:12:10,913
Uh, what... wha... Yeah, sure!
331
00:12:10,938 --> 00:12:12,857
Um, did you pick up that dehumidifier?
332
00:12:12,925 --> 00:12:14,258
It's next on my list, but right now,
333
00:12:14,327 --> 00:12:16,894
we gotta celebrate 'cause we got Mason!
334
00:12:16,963 --> 00:12:18,362
Mason bump!
335
00:12:18,431 --> 00:12:19,630
Boom!
336
00:12:19,699 --> 00:12:21,098
See, I promised you I'd fix everything.
337
00:12:21,167 --> 00:12:23,400
And I did. I'm gonna get
you off that wall, girl.
338
00:12:23,469 --> 00:12:24,902
I knew you had it in you.
339
00:12:24,971 --> 00:12:26,971
Right? I'm killing it at business.
340
00:12:27,039 --> 00:12:31,542
So, to celebrate, I got... a...
341
00:12:31,611 --> 00:12:33,273
$225 owl T-shirt.
342
00:12:33,298 --> 00:12:34,898
You know I love owls, right?
343
00:12:34,966 --> 00:12:36,141
Look at him, look at his eyes.
344
00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:38,322
It's like he understands
the secrets of the universe.
345
00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:39,623
I love it so much.
346
00:12:39,692 --> 00:12:41,025
- Wait, you do?
- Yeah.
347
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:42,593
You're not gonna, like, lecture me
348
00:12:42,662 --> 00:12:43,794
about reckless spending
349
00:12:43,863 --> 00:12:45,196
or ask me if it was on sale or...
350
00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:46,597
Mm-mm.
351
00:12:46,666 --> 00:12:47,977
Oh, my God.
352
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:50,000
You met a guy!
353
00:12:50,069 --> 00:12:52,069
- What?
- P, I'm so happy for you!
354
00:12:52,138 --> 00:12:54,038
No, I... ptuh! Well, it's not...
355
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:56,741
Look at your face. You
spent the night with him.
356
00:12:56,809 --> 00:12:57,808
I don't want to talk about it.
357
00:12:57,877 --> 00:12:59,310
Good, don't jinx it.
358
00:12:59,626 --> 00:13:02,446
In the meantime, check out
the gear I had made for Mason.
359
00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:03,514
Boom!
360
00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:05,316
"Gary + Jane."
361
00:13:05,384 --> 00:13:07,118
What? Oh, crap weasel.
362
00:13:07,509 --> 00:13:08,757
I have to get all-new gear made.
363
00:13:08,782 --> 00:13:10,849
Mm, you gotta spend money to make money.
364
00:13:10,917 --> 00:13:13,718
Wow, you must really like him.
365
00:13:13,787 --> 00:13:16,187
No... get...
366
00:13:18,225 --> 00:13:20,658
I was thinking maybe this weekend
we could drive down to Ojai.
367
00:13:20,727 --> 00:13:24,229
I heard about this amazing place
where there are these lavender fields.
368
00:13:24,297 --> 00:13:26,865
We could pack a picnic.
What do you think?
369
00:13:26,933 --> 00:13:27,932
Hmm?
370
00:13:28,001 --> 00:13:29,601
About Ojai?
371
00:13:29,669 --> 00:13:31,136
Were you listening?
372
00:13:31,415 --> 00:13:33,493
Uh... whatever you want.
373
00:13:34,509 --> 00:13:36,141
I'm sorry, I'm just tired.
374
00:13:36,209 --> 00:13:38,510
375
00:13:38,578 --> 00:13:40,545
(dog whimpers)
376
00:13:40,614 --> 00:13:42,881
377
00:13:42,949 --> 00:13:47,118
(phone ringing, shower running)
378
00:13:47,187 --> 00:13:48,520
Oh, hey, Andrew.
379
00:13:48,588 --> 00:13:49,921
Where's Mason?
380
00:13:49,990 --> 00:13:52,057
I don't know, I haven't
seen him since the beach.
381
00:13:52,125 --> 00:13:54,492
Hey, can I call you back, I'm
about to take a shower right now.
382
00:13:54,561 --> 00:13:57,562
You took him to the beach
the week of his competition?
383
00:13:57,631 --> 00:13:58,897
Do you know what you've done?
384
00:13:58,965 --> 00:14:00,240
Made you very loud?
385
00:14:00,265 --> 00:14:01,399
The last big gamer
386
00:14:01,468 --> 00:14:02,801
that went outside before a championship
387
00:14:02,869 --> 00:14:04,769
volunteered for Habitat for Humanity.
388
00:14:04,838 --> 00:14:05,837
That sounds great.
389
00:14:05,906 --> 00:14:07,338
No! It wasn't great!
390
00:14:07,407 --> 00:14:10,111
Two weeks later, she quit
gaming to become a doctor.
391
00:14:10,710 --> 00:14:11,779
A doctor!
392
00:14:12,446 --> 00:14:14,612
Doctors don't play videogames
in front of millions of people,
393
00:14:14,681 --> 00:14:16,284
wearing your brand.
394
00:14:16,351 --> 00:14:18,049
Aw, don't worry.
395
00:14:18,118 --> 00:14:19,751
Mason'll be fine. I'll find him.
396
00:14:19,820 --> 00:14:21,286
At least you didn't
introduce him to a girl.
397
00:14:21,354 --> 00:14:23,221
That's fatal for gamers.
398
00:14:23,290 --> 00:14:24,989
May as well just shoot
me in the dick right now.
399
00:14:25,058 --> 00:14:26,758
(shower running)
400
00:14:26,827 --> 00:14:28,526
401
00:14:28,595 --> 00:14:29,961
Mason!
402
00:14:30,030 --> 00:14:31,396
- Mason!
- Very cool.
403
00:14:31,465 --> 00:14:33,565
- (panting)
- Do you play good at that?
404
00:14:33,633 --> 00:14:35,767
(gasping)
405
00:14:35,836 --> 00:14:37,545
- Ma...
- Jordan?
406
00:14:37,570 --> 00:14:38,903
What are you doing here?
407
00:14:40,740 --> 00:14:42,540
Uh, I don't know if
you two officially met,
408
00:14:42,609 --> 00:14:44,576
but you remember Julie, right?
409
00:14:47,314 --> 00:14:49,380
- Sorry.
- See ya.
410
00:14:50,726 --> 00:14:52,005
Who needs the beach?
411
00:14:52,030 --> 00:14:53,185
This is where you belong.
412
00:14:53,210 --> 00:14:54,642
The cube cave, where you can practice.
413
00:14:55,031 --> 00:14:59,100
We can hang, while you practice.
414
00:14:59,169 --> 00:15:01,903
Right? Cube for life.
415
00:15:03,890 --> 00:15:06,941
Back in the lab, Muay Thai
kickin' bags, mashin'...
416
00:15:07,164 --> 00:15:08,317
Flip it!
417
00:15:09,085 --> 00:15:10,521
And up, and forward.
418
00:15:10,546 --> 00:15:13,186
You gotta get in there, flip
the cubes, you know what I mean?
419
00:15:13,211 --> 00:15:14,777
You're just gonna give up now?
420
00:15:14,846 --> 00:15:15,978
That's all you got?!
421
00:15:16,047 --> 00:15:18,114
Hit 'em with the heavyweight
422
00:15:18,182 --> 00:15:19,390
Yeah!
423
00:15:20,992 --> 00:15:22,694
I like your owl shirt.
424
00:15:22,773 --> 00:15:24,477
It's so cool you like owls.
425
00:15:25,042 --> 00:15:26,174
Did you know that an eagle owl
426
00:15:26,243 --> 00:15:27,676
can carry off an adult monkey?
427
00:15:27,745 --> 00:15:29,111
Psh, do I?
428
00:15:29,179 --> 00:15:30,912
And their feathers
make no noise, either.
429
00:15:30,981 --> 00:15:32,447
So, by the time the owl gets here...
430
00:15:32,516 --> 00:15:34,249
You've never even had a chance to run.
431
00:15:34,318 --> 00:15:35,083
Yeah!
432
00:15:35,152 --> 00:15:36,418
Dude, this is hard!
433
00:15:36,487 --> 00:15:38,019
Seriously, I guess I thought it was,
434
00:15:38,088 --> 00:15:39,588
I don't know, like, silly at first,
435
00:15:39,656 --> 00:15:40,822
but it's a skill.
436
00:15:40,891 --> 00:15:42,624
I mean, you found something you love,
437
00:15:42,693 --> 00:15:44,092
and you're great at it.
438
00:15:44,161 --> 00:15:46,165
That took me forever to figure out.
439
00:15:46,796 --> 00:15:47,863
You should be proud.
440
00:15:47,931 --> 00:15:49,865
Thanks, that's... that's really nice.
441
00:15:49,933 --> 00:15:51,767
And I'm not just blowing smoke.
442
00:15:51,835 --> 00:15:53,769
(snickering) Get it?
443
00:15:53,837 --> 00:15:55,737
"Blowing smoke." Oh, my God.
444
00:15:55,806 --> 00:15:57,305
Your muscles are so soft.
445
00:15:57,726 --> 00:15:59,241
It's like you're made of memory foam.
446
00:15:59,309 --> 00:16:00,242
Oh.
447
00:16:02,179 --> 00:16:04,146
And so I realized I was
having that dream again
448
00:16:04,214 --> 00:16:06,047
where Rihanna has invited
me to a dinner party,
449
00:16:06,116 --> 00:16:07,649
but then suddenly,
all my teeth fall out,
450
00:16:07,718 --> 00:16:09,317
and my mom shows up, and I...
451
00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:12,754
Hey, you used to love
hearing about my dreams.
452
00:16:13,171 --> 00:16:14,523
Channing, hello?
453
00:16:14,999 --> 00:16:16,458
(snaps) What?
454
00:16:17,257 --> 00:16:18,827
Are you mad at me?
455
00:16:18,896 --> 00:16:20,295
Whoa... babe...
456
00:16:20,364 --> 00:16:21,997
I think you're being
a little dramatic.
457
00:16:22,358 --> 00:16:24,132
- I'm not being...
- Okay.
458
00:16:24,968 --> 00:16:26,568
We're in public.
459
00:16:26,637 --> 00:16:28,136
You need to calm down.
460
00:16:28,205 --> 00:16:31,072
Do not tell me to calm down.
461
00:16:31,141 --> 00:16:33,141
Seems like somebody's on the rag.
462
00:16:33,421 --> 00:16:34,709
Must be Shark Week.
463
00:16:34,778 --> 00:16:36,678
Ohh! You...
464
00:16:36,944 --> 00:16:38,747
Channing?
465
00:16:38,816 --> 00:16:41,850
Channing! Channing...
466
00:16:41,919 --> 00:16:44,419
(woman) If you would like
Channingto turn around,
467
00:16:44,488 --> 00:16:46,221
pay $19.99.
468
00:16:46,290 --> 00:16:48,089
Are you (bleep) kidding me?
469
00:16:48,158 --> 00:16:50,125
If you'd like Channing
to tearfully apologize
470
00:16:50,194 --> 00:16:51,793
and introduce you to his parents,
471
00:16:51,862 --> 00:16:54,496
- pay $29.99.
- Oh, hell no.
472
00:16:54,565 --> 00:16:56,998
473
00:16:57,067 --> 00:16:59,801
(man on PA) All right, squares,it's almost Cube-o-clock!
474
00:16:59,870 --> 00:17:02,838
Who's ready to rock out
with their blocks out?
475
00:17:02,906 --> 00:17:04,280
Where is he?
476
00:17:05,008 --> 00:17:06,541
Oh...
477
00:17:06,610 --> 00:17:08,333
Oh, my God, Mason,
where the hell were you?
478
00:17:08,358 --> 00:17:09,811
I had to get your present.
479
00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:11,671
You didn't have to get me a present.
480
00:17:11,696 --> 00:17:13,215
Oh, my God, is that an owl?
481
00:17:13,283 --> 00:17:14,916
You got me an owl?
482
00:17:14,985 --> 00:17:16,151
Yeah, you like them, remember?
483
00:17:16,220 --> 00:17:17,752
Yeah, but I...
484
00:17:17,821 --> 00:17:20,355
And now the reigning
World Cube Move champion.
485
00:17:20,424 --> 00:17:23,124
You know him as MasonFlipsCubes.
486
00:17:23,193 --> 00:17:24,626
Oh, quick, the Mary + Jane gear!
487
00:17:24,695 --> 00:17:26,094
Oh, right.
488
00:17:26,163 --> 00:17:27,829
(crowd cheering, music pumping)
489
00:17:27,898 --> 00:17:29,030
Yeah.
490
00:17:29,099 --> 00:17:30,131
Don't worry, Jordan.
491
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:31,433
I'm gonna slay this.
492
00:17:31,501 --> 00:17:33,034
In about an hour, the entire world
493
00:17:33,103 --> 00:17:34,970
will know the name Mary + Jane.
494
00:17:35,038 --> 00:17:36,037
Yes!
495
00:17:36,345 --> 00:17:37,377
Good luck.
496
00:17:37,402 --> 00:17:39,608
(cheering and applause)
497
00:17:39,676 --> 00:17:41,042
(gasps) Oh...
498
00:17:41,111 --> 00:17:43,178
So this is actually a male owl.
499
00:17:43,247 --> 00:17:44,579
His name is Owl Gore.
500
00:17:44,648 --> 00:17:45,580
(both) Aww...
501
00:17:45,649 --> 00:17:46,548
Here's his food.
502
00:17:46,617 --> 00:17:48,250
Fresh mice and water every day.
503
00:17:48,318 --> 00:17:50,948
Oh, and this freak is
agitated by the color purple.
504
00:17:50,973 --> 00:17:51,987
The movie?
505
00:17:52,012 --> 00:17:53,174
Yeah, because he should
really watch that.
506
00:17:53,199 --> 00:17:55,223
Oprah's performance is like next level.
507
00:17:55,292 --> 00:17:56,925
Oh, it's an amazing Broadway musical.
508
00:17:56,994 --> 00:17:57,993
The color.
509
00:17:58,061 --> 00:17:59,527
(both) Ohh...
510
00:17:59,596 --> 00:18:01,429
(Mason) I'd like to
dedicatethis performance
511
00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:02,731
to Mary + Jane.
512
00:18:03,129 --> 00:18:06,067
And especially...
to my girlfriend...
513
00:18:06,559 --> 00:18:07,605
Jordan.
514
00:18:09,106 --> 00:18:10,505
Come on up here, babe.
515
00:18:10,574 --> 00:18:12,340
(scattered cheering)
516
00:18:12,409 --> 00:18:14,309
Come on, I wanna...
show you off, heh.
517
00:18:15,152 --> 00:18:17,045
I'm... I'm not your girlfriend.
518
00:18:17,114 --> 00:18:19,147
Heh heh. Such a kidder.
519
00:18:19,216 --> 00:18:21,049
(mic feedback)
520
00:18:21,118 --> 00:18:23,885
Wha... of course you are.
521
00:18:23,954 --> 00:18:25,353
I mean, you...
522
00:18:25,422 --> 00:18:26,588
You stayed up all night with me.
523
00:18:26,657 --> 00:18:28,857
You pulled me off of
the girl at the beach.
524
00:18:28,926 --> 00:18:30,525
Gave me a finger massage, I mean...
525
00:18:30,594 --> 00:18:32,327
You said that my muscles
were like memory foam.
526
00:18:32,396 --> 00:18:35,363
I mean... the impression of
your fingers are still in my arm.
527
00:18:35,432 --> 00:18:37,499
That was business, Mason.
528
00:18:37,567 --> 00:18:39,267
I just needed you to
stay inside and practice
529
00:18:39,336 --> 00:18:40,735
and not get distracted.
530
00:18:40,804 --> 00:18:43,918
I'm sorry, I have to
stay loyal to my brand.
531
00:18:45,008 --> 00:18:46,637
You can sympathize?
532
00:18:47,511 --> 00:18:49,110
(sighs)
533
00:18:49,179 --> 00:18:51,392
(near tears) I'm your square burger.
534
00:18:52,816 --> 00:18:54,749
You keep the owl. And I'll...
535
00:18:54,818 --> 00:18:56,584
I'll wear the Mary + Jane brand.
536
00:18:56,653 --> 00:18:57,786
A deal's a deal.
537
00:18:57,854 --> 00:19:00,021
(crying) Even if it
is the brand of my ex.
538
00:19:00,090 --> 00:19:01,256
I'm not your ex.
539
00:19:01,325 --> 00:19:02,691
(woman) Is he crying?
540
00:19:02,759 --> 00:19:04,626
(man on PA) He does
appear to be crying!
541
00:19:04,695 --> 00:19:05,694
Nope, nope, not crying.
542
00:19:05,762 --> 00:19:07,701
Mason flips cubes...
543
00:19:07,965 --> 00:19:09,597
not tears.
544
00:19:09,666 --> 00:19:10,765
(owl screeching)
545
00:19:10,834 --> 00:19:12,634
(all gasping)
546
00:19:12,703 --> 00:19:15,136
(crowd screaming)
547
00:19:15,205 --> 00:19:17,772
Oh! I mean, you really
can hear them coming.
548
00:19:17,841 --> 00:19:19,174
(Mason whimpering)
549
00:19:20,293 --> 00:19:22,327
This is not good for our brand.
550
00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:24,662
It's great for our brand!
551
00:19:24,731 --> 00:19:27,265
And, look, we already have
500 new Instagram followers
552
00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:28,967
and 40 orders, just for this week.
553
00:19:29,035 --> 00:19:31,069
I'm gonna swing by the
hospital and bring Mason
554
00:19:31,138 --> 00:19:32,170
some cush for the pain.
555
00:19:32,239 --> 00:19:33,404
Maybe I'll bring him two.
556
00:19:33,473 --> 00:19:34,862
He can, like, flip 'em and stack 'em.
557
00:19:34,887 --> 00:19:36,708
Should I pick up candy or just, like,
558
00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:38,106
let him touch a boob?
559
00:19:38,418 --> 00:19:39,550
(phone chimes)
560
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:42,447
(woman) Channing says,"How are you? "
561
00:19:42,516 --> 00:19:44,482
Oh, uh, hey, babe,
562
00:19:44,551 --> 00:19:47,218
can you give us a
second to catch up?
563
00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:52,524
Hey.
564
00:19:52,855 --> 00:19:53,871
Hey.
565
00:19:54,621 --> 00:19:56,194
You look good.
566
00:19:56,785 --> 00:19:58,530
- Thanks.
- (phone chimes)
567
00:19:58,598 --> 00:20:00,762
(woman) For closure, pay $2.99.
568
00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:02,734
(scoffs)
569
00:20:06,504 --> 00:20:09,777
If you'd like Channing to get
an STD from his new girlfriend,
570
00:20:09,802 --> 00:20:12,102
pay $35.
571
00:20:14,679 --> 00:20:16,112
(phone chimes)
572
00:20:17,653 --> 00:20:18,761
(whispering) What's up, guys?
573
00:20:18,786 --> 00:20:20,276
This is Weed Pranks.
574
00:20:20,301 --> 00:20:23,340
My friend Paige is super high right now.
575
00:20:24,137 --> 00:20:26,245
So I'm gonna go in there and tell her
576
00:20:26,270 --> 00:20:29,372
that there was an apocalypse
and that I got bit by a zombie.
577
00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:31,140
Okay? Here we go.
578
00:20:31,209 --> 00:20:33,442
Oh, my God, help! Help, I was attacked!
579
00:20:33,511 --> 00:20:34,744
- I got bit by a zombie!
- What?!
580
00:20:34,812 --> 00:20:36,712
Help, I got bit by a
zombie! I think I died!
581
00:20:36,781 --> 00:20:38,881
- Oh, my God!
- Paige, oh, my God, look!
582
00:20:38,950 --> 00:20:40,983
(both shouting)
583
00:20:41,052 --> 00:20:43,019
(Paige screaming)
584
00:20:43,087 --> 00:20:46,288
This is not my day to die, bitch!
585
00:20:46,357 --> 00:20:48,290
(screaming)
586
00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:49,825
(panting)
587
00:20:49,894 --> 00:20:51,661
(laughing weakly)
588
00:20:51,729 --> 00:20:54,797
That was... awesome!
589
00:20:54,866 --> 00:20:56,632
You should have seen your face, Paige.
590
00:20:56,701 --> 00:20:58,523
I totally got you.
591
00:20:58,548 --> 00:21:00,348
Synced and corrected by Chitorafa
www.addic7ed.com
592
00:21:00,398 --> 00:21:04,948
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