All language subtitles for Marry Me s01e06 Bruges Me.eng

Deedle-deedle-deedle-dum

Oh, Annie, you were so adorable.

Totally.

Hey, not to crap all over this,

But why the hell
are we watching all this crap?

Oh, we have our first meeting
with our wedding officiant

And she made the critical
mistake of telling Annie

That she wants to get
to know us.

And to know me is to know
my entire body of work,

Warts and all.

Which, coincidentally,
is the name of a musical

I wrote about a frog named
warts and a princess named all.

I am prepared
to start from the top.

Or I could just do memory
from cats.

I love you, but I'm also
sometimes ashamed of you.

Annie banannie,

I thought you said
you never did school musicals

When you were little because of
your crippling stage fright.

I didn't.
That's actually my backyard.

My dads built me a little stage
so I could get up my confidence,

And I did my own costumin'
and my lightin'

And my own make-upin'um.

Oh, no, she's gone
full muh-mush muh-mouth.

Just to clarify, you chose
Fiddle and the role of Tevye?

[off-key]
trying and failing
to find the note

- Eh, nah.
- Well, one thing

That never hits a sour note...

In auuu-totune.

Yum. Mommy like.

Oh, well, then baby's got
a hot steaming load for ya.

- Ew.
- That came out wrong.

Point is I got a bunch of those.

I'm making a ton for this year's
Flemish pride parade.

Back up, buttercup.
There is a Flemish pride parade?

Well, it's really
more of a small, tiny gathering

Of really pasty, weird people
eating things that no one else

Would think to pickle.

Hmm. Okay, no one's laughing.

So this isn't one of those jokes
that I don't get.

Yeah, no, it's not a joke.

This is very important to me.

This is my heritage.

- I am 120% Flemish.
- 120?

We had a little bit
of inbreeding going on.

- Why are you proud of that?
- Well,

It's nice to have a family
that gets along.

Really nice memories, Gil.

Speaking of memory...
oh, those aren't memories.

Those are more just facts.
I can take a hint.

-
Memories!

Both:
it's so easy
to leave me

[whistling]

sync and corrections by Squallounet
www.addic7ed.com

So here are my tapes.

You know,
watch them in your own time.

Just be careful,
they are originals.

You know, don't leave them
near any large magnets.

You don't own any large magnets,
do you?

- No.
- Medium-sized?

'Cause I'll tell you, sometimes
even a medium-sized magnet can...

Why don't we put a pin
in these for right now?

Sure.

I wanted to discuss
these questionnaires

- You two filled out.
- Oh, great.

You both rate family

- As a top priority.
- All right.

And while Annie knows a lot
about Jake�s mother...

Her safety school is bard,

Her pedicure color
is ballet slippers,

And she agrees with everything
Rachel Maddow has to say,

But wishes she would tone
it down.

Nailed it.

Uh, Jake,
you answered the question,

"what would Annie�s family's
ideal ceremony be?"

With "good question."

Yeah, well,

It was a good question.

- Hm.
- Can't a guy compliment

Someone on a question?
Well, in the rest of

The section for Annie�s parents,

You drew a picture
of what I'm assuming is

Two men shopping for sweaters.

Well, you're assuming wrong,

Because they're shopping
for sweater vests.

Well, you've got to work
on your shading.

I'm sorry, you know what?
You do make a good point.

I mean, Jake,
you probably could make

A little bit more of an effort
to get to know my dads.

Are you kidding?
What do you mean "effort"?

I mean, we already
have a great relationship.

Here, check it out.

Look at this. Here.

Kevin sent me a picture
of a cat dressed as a lion.

Right? I wrote back, "roar."
and then he wrote back,

"in the future,
please do not "reply all."

It's classic Kevin. Which Kevin?

Which Kevin wrote that?

The one. [chuckles]

Okay, to be fair,
they coordinate their outfits,

They finish
each other's sentences,

And they have the same first
and middle name.

- You know?
- It just makes me sad

That you don't have
a relationship with my dads,

And they're soon
to be your dads too.

You're right. Good point.

And I am going to try
to get to know them better.

I'm gonna make more
of an effort.

Starting now. Watch this.

God bless social media.

Here we go. Apparently,

Kevin loves the pixies,
while Kevin loves pixies.

Oh, god, it's like they're
trying to make it hard for me.

Oh, I hate this place.

I guess I'll try the 40-minute
slow-scrambled eggs.

Apparently it's the same
temperature as your body,

So it's like eating yourself.

Ugh, who writes this menu?

Ooh,
you have to try the pancakes.

You will be blown away
by how terrible they are.

Awful.
Are you waiting for one more?

- Both: Yes.
- No.

- Wait, what?
- Oh, it's just the three of us.

Being not weird together.

Is Annie not coming?
Is she okay?

Did somebody kidnap her?
Can you not answer that question

Because the kidnapper's watching
you right now with binoculars?

I'm sorry, Jake, Kevin just
watched taken, taken 2,

And a really sad
insurance commercial.

Though that last one
was unrelated,

But it really bummed me out.

I know.

But seriously,
where the hell is Annie?

Well, she's home.
Safe and sound.

You know,
I just thought it would be nice

For the three of us to be
by ourselves for once, you know.

Wouldn't that be nice?
Both: Yeah.

Annie, where's Jake?

You have keys to our apartment?

Oh, never mind that.

Look, every year
at this Flemish pride parade,

I make waffles in my booth.

But this year Marge Flarnschnard

Called dibs on waffles.

And in the Flemish community,
dibs is like sharia law.

I need Jake to help me come up
with some new ideas.

Well, Jake is out with my dads,

But maybe I could help you.

Step into my office.

Hm.

All right. Wow me.

Okay, what are some other things

The Flemish are known for?

Well, we were one
of the first people

To cave to the Germans
in world war I

Before everybody
was doing it in world war ii.

I'm not sure how that's gonna
translate to a booth.

I just want to do
something special.

Ever since my grandma died,
this parade is the thing

That makes me feel closest
to her.

That and getting my hair set.

I miss grandma Gil.

Wait, what about a song?

All great places have a song.
New york, new york.

I left my heart
in San Francisco.

I'm in Miami, bitch.

Music is the international
language.

Or is it love? Or is it math?

I think it's mandarin.

Whatever it is,
I am loving this idea.

We could write
and perform it together.

No, you have all these years
of theater experience,

I have all this raw Flemish
talent.

Together we could be whatever
those two things add up to.

I don't know. I mean,

It's been a while
since I trod the boards.

Annie, yesterday, when we sang
the entire second act of cats,

And then circled back around

And did the entire show
to completion,

I kinda feel like we had "it."

Oh, my god!
I felt like we had "it" too,

But I didn't want to
say anything

Because sometimes just talking
about "it" can jinx "it."

Shh.

I had you at "it."

So, Kevin, what's up

With those Lunesta commercials,
you know?

Is that, like, a glowing moth
or a fairy, or what is that?

I have no idea
what you're talking about.

Well, you love pixies,

So I figured this would be
in your wheelhouse.

Wrong Kevin.

I'm the one who loves pixies.

And it's a will-o'-the-wisp.
Will of the what?

Will you excuse me?
I'm going to use the bathroom.

Wait, you never go
in public places.

I'm making an exception.

What are you doing?

Let go.

Oh, hey, water. That's great.

Oh, no, no, no. Please don't go.

Just stay and talk to us
for a little bit.

- Why not?
- You know, maybe give us

A list of your specials
three or four more times?

Yeah, I need to talk to you
about anything.

- Just start from the beginning.
- I love that outfit.

Can you tell me about it?
Where'd you buy it?

Tell us.
Does it come with the job?

Where'd you get the outfit?

[engine purrs] ooh.

Sweet hog.

- You like motorcycles?
- Are you kidding me?

I like motorcycles
more than I like making love

To Annie�s dad.

[laughs] wow.
That's... that's a lot.

- I'm assuming.
- Yeah.

I had a sweet triumph
in college, man, ooh.

I used to twist the wick
up and down the big slab.

Mm, mm, mm, yeah,
I still have my brain bucket.

Sounds flimflam, my man.

I shoo-be-dooed myself.

Real flip flop-like.

That's what I would sound
like to someone

Who didn't get our lingo.
That is so true.

It's like a squirrel trying
to understand a wolf, you know.

They don't know
why we howl at the moon.

- [howls]
- [howls]

Yeah, well, unfortunately,

My chopper days are behind me.
You know what?

You should get a new motorcycle.
You think?

Absolutely.
Remember that feeling?

The freedom,
the wind in your hair,

Your balls vibrating
to the rhythm of the road?

That's too much information,
isn't it?

No, no, no, I love rumble balls.

Kevin!

Hey, what'd I miss?

Oh, I was just
talking to Kevin here,

How he should get
a new motorcycle, ri...

- Mm-mm-mm.
- What?

You mean a two-wheeled hearse?

No, I mean a motor... oh.

Kevin, have you been talking
about two-wheeled hearses again?

Oh, I'm sorry, Kevin.
I didn't realize that you were

In control of what I can
and cannot talk about.

I wasn't aware
that you could so quickly

Turn into such a jerk.

So, where are you guys
from originally... where is that?

Well, Kevin grew up
in a selfish home

With selfish people
who do selfish things.

I'm from Richmond, Virginia.

More like a suburb outside of!

- [gasps]
- oh, no, don't go.

Oh, wow.

So they... you know,
they say Virginia is for lovers.

- Ugh!
- You're gonna go as well.

Hey, babe.
How'd it go with my dads?

Oh, awesome.

They're, uh...
We're really getting to

To know each other, you know?
I mean,

Here is just one
of 100 facts that I've learned.

Kevin is from Richmond,
Virginia.

Well, a suburb outside of,
but that's progress.

I'm so happy.

And in entertainment news, Gil
and I are writing a song later,

So I'm just learning
all about splenderklauts.

Did not ask.
Do not understand the answer.

Gosh, you are getting to know

The two most important men
in my life,

And I am getting to know
the most important man

In your life. [phone ringing]

Second only to Mr. T.

I still pity the fool.

Hello.

Hey, yeah.

It's my dad.

And he wants to talk to you.

Wow, one brunch and you're
already getting phone calls?

Get a room.

Hey, don't be jelly. Kev-Kev.

I cannot believe you, Jake.

How can you be so irresponsible?
[laughs]

Because of you,

Kevin will not shut up about
getting a two-wheeled hearse.

Uh, what's that?

Oh, you want to get a gift
for Annie?

Yeah, I'd gladly be
in cahoots with you.

Just let me go
in the other room.

Do you know what we used
to call those in the emergency

Room? Which was right next door

To my first stationery store?

Well, if I had to take a guess,

I would say "two-wheeled..."
donorcycles.

- Oh.
- You get it?

- I do get it.
- Do you get it, Jake?

Because they all died.
Okay, Kevin, I'm so sorry.

I see your point,
and I will talk to Kevin.

I promise. I'm sorry.

That would be great.

For a minute there, I felt
like I didn't know who you were.

And now I do. You're Jake.

Oh, that's...

Good, right?

No, no, no, no.

Um... Mm... Mm... Mm...

Okay, what about
something like...

No! God, no!

That is just garbage.

I'm so frustrated!

I can't believe
this is our Saturday.

This is what happens
when we don't make a plan.

[crowd commotion]
what are we watching?

Oh,
it's a popular Flemish sport.

Loosely translated,
it's called log soccer.

You basically just throw trees.

They used to throw Jews,
but... You know.

Okay, come on, come on, come on.

Come on, what else?
What else Flemish?

Uh, uh,
uh, okay, all right, well,

We are famous for our chocolate.
Okay.

- And our frites.
- Yes.

So what if we did something
like...

[taps pencil rhythmically]

Stop! Pass, that is horrible.

Okay, I was thinking
something more like...

I mean, does it have to be about
the Flemish region?

Yes. That's the whole point.

I knew it. Working with friends

Never ends well.

Look at Lennon and McCartney.

Ugh, I know. Sean and Stella

Never should have collaborated
on that sports drink.

Maybe the real problem
here is you don't have "it."

[gasps] oh, I have it!

No, you don't.

Thought you did,
but you were probably just

Getting a contact "it"
off of me!

Well, jimmy cracked corn,
and I don't care!

[door slams]
wait, is that something?

I feel like I just wrote a song.

No, girl, you didn't.

Hey, Kev, my man.

I just came by to hang,

But you weren't here,

So I dropped off
some alarming literature

On motorcycle decapitations
in your mailbox.

[howling]

Oh, no.

Kevin, you gone done and did it.

I'm a wolf!

Check out my sweet
new motorcycle.

Motorcycle? That's a ve...

Very special motorcycle.

I owe it all to you, Jake.

That talk we had this morning

Really made me feel like a man
again.

Say, can I hide
this at your place?

'Cause Kevin will kill me
if he found it.

Oh, my sweet lord,
you actually went and did it?

You bought a motorcycle?

Motorcycle? You too?

This is so stupid
and selfish, Kevin.

Jake agrees. You tell him.

No, no, Jake agrees with me,

'cause we run in the same pack.

We're a pack of wolves,
and we howl.

- Howl with me, Jake.
- [laughs]

- You agree with him?
- Wait, you're on his side?

No, come on, guys.

I see where Kevin�s coming from,

And I also see where Kevin�s

Coming from, because I
know you both so well, you know,

Because we're bonding.

I cannot believe
that you'd be willing

To commit to a death machine,

But you're not willing
to commit to me.

Oh, here we go again.

- Yeah, here we go again.
- Wait, where are we going?

I don't wanna go.
Let's stay here.

Hang out, be cool, chill.

We agreed that the marriage
thing was off the table for now.

Yeah, we also agreed
that the motorcycle thing

Was off the table, and you just
tore in here on a hog from hell.

Scooter! Come on,
if it makes you feel any better,

It's a scooter.

You know what, Kevin Marie?

- I'm gone.
- Good.

Go.

[engine revving]

Watch it, lady!

Hey.

You look great.

Hello, der hondsdolheid.

That's Flemish for "rabies."

If I knew the word for "non-song
helper," I would use that.

Gil, the only language
I speak is guac.

And this means "I'm sorry."

Guac?

My favorite vegetable.

Come in.

Look, to be honest,

I was just getting stressed
at the thought of performing.

I was feeling these twinges
of stage fright.

I... you gonna get chips
with that?

- Mm?
- The point is I was rude.

Well, for what it's worth,

I had a rude attitude also.

- Friends?
- Of course.

Wait, rude attitude?
Rude attitude?

Yeah, I just
said I had a rude attitude.

You're gonna
throw it right back in my face?

[laughs] classic Annie!

No, Gil, wait, don't you see?

I'm feeling "it" again.

What was the name
of that weird city?

- Milwaukee.
- No, the Flemish one

That starts with a "B." Bruges?

Are you familiar with
that classic Patti Labelle song

New attitude?

I think so, but gimme
a little taste.

Both:
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
I got a new attitude

- Oh, my god, let's go!
- Yes!

I was just trying to get
to know Annie�s dads,

And now I feel like I've broken
the unbreakable relationship.

- What happened?
- Well,

Kevin screamed at Kevin because
Kevin won't commit to Kevin.

Oh, god, this whole name thing
is just... you know,

I wish we were just allowed
to say "white Kevin"

And "black Kevin." are we?

- No.
- Racism.

Thing is,
gay marriage being legal

Has actually put a lot
of pressure on couples.

But on the bright side,
it has been a boon

For those of us on the rebound
Janey Diddle business.

I mean,
they've been together 35 years.

What's the big deal?

Why doesn't
Kevin want to get married?

Well, it doesn't matter
how long you've been together,

You know, taking that next step
can be terrifying.

[gasps] oh, holy crap!

Okay.
Kevin's afraid to get married.

That's what this is about.

I can solve this.

I was Kevin. That was me.

Oh, yes, finally something
in my wheelhouse.

Ha ha ha!

"Janey Diddle business"?

"Janey" means "vagina,"
and business is a-boomin'.

Soak it in, Annie.

Are you ready for this?
Absolutely.

Wow, there's a few more people

Here than I was expecting.
Are you kidding?

This is more of a sidewalk
nuisance than a parade.

Anybody else's mouth feel
really dry and their palms,

Like, super sweaty?

Think it's
all these bright lights.

- That's the sun.
- Okay,

You're feeling
a little stage fright.

No bigs. Just remember:

The hopes and dreams of
an entire region rest with you.

Gil, I'm totally fine.

Just give me one second.

I'm never coming out.

There's my guy.

Wow, Jake.

How'd you find me?

Well, what can I say?

I got a little private dick
in me.

Hey, aren't you afraid you're
gonna get beat up in this place?

No, they're all gay.

Really? Wow.

There's tons of crossover
between bikers and gay dudes.

Some gay men are scared
that a motorcycle

Will make them seem too gay.

Just like some gay men
are afraid of getting married.

"Some gay men" is you, Kevin.

Yeah,
I understand your meaning, Jake.

But yes, I-I guess I'm scared.

Oh, yes! I knew it!

I love it. I was right.

[laughs] I know you so well.

I'm so happy right now.

But I'm also very sad

That you guys are going through
what you're going through.

Why should we change something

That has worked perfectly
for the past 35 years?

Listen, man, I get it.

Okay? I was you.

Everything was perfect
with me and Annie.

And I was worried if I proposed
it would ruin everything.

So you're saying
that I'm putting Kevin

Through the same hell
you put Annie through.

Well,
today's more about your story.

But I mean,
you were such a dick.

Okay, sticks and stones, buddy.

Believe me,
I'm not happy about this.

I hate letting Kevin down.

So don't. You love him, right?

Yeah, more than anything.

You really don't things
will change?

Look, man, if they do, it's
only gonna be for the better.

Personally, it was the best
decision I've ever made.

- Mm.
- That and my new part.

You know, I switched sides.

Yeah, I know,
I've been tracking that.

It's way better.
Oh, yeah? You noticed?

Thanks, Jake.

Let's go find my man.

To the pride parade.

There's a pride parade today?

- Uh, Flemish.
- Oh.

Baby? Daddy's here now, okay?

So you can do it.

Just take a deep breath.
Trust me,

If you were in here, you
would not be recommending that.

Gotta say, doesn't smell great
out here either.

White Kevin! [beeping]

People of Flem!

I have something to say!

What's happening?

Kevin, I'm sorry.

- I've been stupid.
- You have.

You know, everything
has been perfect between us.

I guess I was just scared
that I would ruin it.

But Jake said some things
that made sense.

Jake? My Jake?

Uh, Annie,
talking from the terlet?

More of a home thing, babe.

Kevin, what are you saying?

I'm saying that you
are the love of my life.

What's happening now?
Are they smiling?

Are they gonna kiss?

Honey, kind
of ruining the moment for daddy.

This is the point
where I would get on one knee,

But the runoff
from this porta potty's potent.

- And those are my pants.
- Yeah.

Wait, I'm not gonna let this
stage fright ruin this moment.

Start again from the beginning.

Kevin Marie...

Will you marry me?

Yes. Yes, a thousand times, yes.

Oh, my god!

Oh, my dads
are getting married, yay!

- Get in here, Jake.
- Oh.

Did you somehow have something
to do with this?

Well, when you know two people

As well as I do, you
can create these magic moments.

- Oh, you guys!
- Aww.

It's so great, guys!

[murmuring and cooing]

Annie, are you sure
you can handle this?

Because I can do this alone.
I'm sure.

If my dad can get over his fear
of getting married,

I can get
over a little stage fright.

Thank god,
because I cannot do this alone.

Gonna be great.

I would like
to dedicate this song

To my two dads.
My favorite show of all time.

[whimsical chords]

- Hey-oh!
- And also to the Kevins.

You are the best parents
a girl could hope for, congrats.

I love you.

- And also to Jake.
- One love.

Who knows the crap outta you.
Hit it, Gil!

[playing new attitude by
Patti Labelle]

One, two, three, four...

_

_

_

_

Yeah!

_

_

_

_

_

- All: Whoo!
- Encore!

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