Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,032 --> 00:00:01,940
- Lucy, it's here!
- Hmm?
2
00:00:01,965 --> 00:00:03,341
- Uh, no, you open it.
- Yeah?
3
00:00:03,366 --> 00:00:05,228
- I can't. I can't look, yeah.
- Okay, okay.
4
00:00:06,210 --> 00:00:07,800
- Oh, nice.
- Oh, my.
5
00:00:07,825 --> 00:00:10,227
- Wow, Lucy!
- Nice.
6
00:00:10,317 --> 00:00:12,019
- That's amazing.
- Thanks.
7
00:00:12,044 --> 00:00:14,390
I can't believe something you designed
8
00:00:14,415 --> 00:00:16,028
is gonna be on, like,
billboards and stuff.
9
00:00:16,052 --> 00:00:18,046
Yup, yup, and buses and t-shirts
10
00:00:18,071 --> 00:00:19,536
and those annoying, like, pop-up ads.
11
00:00:19,561 --> 00:00:20,855
Ah, I'm so proud of you.
12
00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:22,049
- Thanks.
- This is so cool.
13
00:00:22,074 --> 00:00:25,044
(pleasant music)
14
00:00:25,069 --> 00:00:28,940
15
00:00:30,956 --> 00:00:32,459
(computer whooshes)
16
00:00:32,492 --> 00:00:33,793
Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad.
17
00:00:33,818 --> 00:00:35,822
Hey, Lucy, glad you found a way
18
00:00:35,847 --> 00:00:38,538
to turn that $5,000
computer into a telephone.
19
00:00:38,563 --> 00:00:39,531
(laughs)
20
00:00:39,565 --> 00:00:41,660
Yeah... yes, I did.
21
00:00:41,685 --> 00:00:44,020
Um, I just wanted to thank you guys
22
00:00:44,045 --> 00:00:46,420
for taking care of my
loan payment this month.
23
00:00:46,445 --> 00:00:47,749
Uh, I'm totally gonna pay you back.
24
00:00:47,773 --> 00:00:48,984
(laughs) Right.
25
00:00:49,009 --> 00:00:51,099
No, really. No, I am.
I actually just landed
26
00:00:51,124 --> 00:00:53,202
a major new client.
I designed the poster
27
00:00:53,227 --> 00:00:54,887
for a pretty big music festival.
28
00:00:54,912 --> 00:00:56,446
They, uh, pay you for that?
29
00:00:56,471 --> 00:00:58,502
Of course they did. Yeah, um...
30
00:00:58,527 --> 00:01:00,163
yeah, no, it's not a lot of money,
31
00:01:00,188 --> 00:01:02,664
but it's exposure,
which is way more valuable
32
00:01:02,689 --> 00:01:04,057
for someone like me, so.
33
00:01:04,082 --> 00:01:05,865
Sure. I remember when I was
34
00:01:05,897 --> 00:01:07,575
making your student loan payment,
they asked me
35
00:01:07,599 --> 00:01:11,013
if it'd be cash, credit, or exposure.
(laughs)
36
00:01:11,038 --> 00:01:11,949
Uh-huh.
37
00:01:11,974 --> 00:01:16,088
When can we see you?
You haven't been home in ages.
38
00:01:16,606 --> 00:01:20,797
Ah, wow, you know,
it's actually kind of crazy here
39
00:01:20,822 --> 00:01:22,391
with, uh, with work and everything.
40
00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:24,312
Surely you can take a
day off from the grind
41
00:01:24,337 --> 00:01:26,939
now that you just saved $937.
42
00:01:26,964 --> 00:01:28,897
Yes, I can.
43
00:01:29,221 --> 00:01:32,291
Yes, um... what about this weekend?
44
00:01:32,316 --> 00:01:33,761
Well, great. Settled then.
45
00:01:33,786 --> 00:01:36,920
Yay. You look tired.
46
00:01:42,028 --> 00:01:44,998
(light music)
47
00:01:45,023 --> 00:01:48,161
48
00:01:48,186 --> 00:01:50,400
Oh, wow. Can't believe I finally
49
00:01:50,425 --> 00:01:53,765
get to meet your parents.
You never talk about them.
50
00:01:53,790 --> 00:01:56,358
Yeah, with good reason.
51
00:01:56,544 --> 00:01:58,382
God, I'm really dreading this.
52
00:01:58,443 --> 00:02:00,854
Oh, I don't know.
53
00:02:00,923 --> 00:02:05,161
Seems like a pretty good... deal to me.
54
00:02:05,368 --> 00:02:07,166
You got the money for your loan,
55
00:02:07,191 --> 00:02:09,774
and all we have to do is spend
one night in this old house.
56
00:02:09,827 --> 00:02:12,998
(ominous wind blowing)
57
00:02:14,860 --> 00:02:18,102
(downtempo electronic music)
58
00:02:18,127 --> 00:02:19,278
59
00:02:19,303 --> 00:02:20,670
Ah!
60
00:02:20,695 --> 00:02:23,854
61
00:02:24,372 --> 00:02:25,990
(squeaks)
62
00:02:26,015 --> 00:02:27,550
63
00:02:27,575 --> 00:02:29,318
(growls)
64
00:02:29,343 --> 00:02:31,607
65
00:02:41,433 --> 00:02:45,520
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
66
00:02:45,692 --> 00:02:48,827
No, you don't understand,
Josh, this is an evil place.
67
00:02:49,031 --> 00:02:51,600
There's a malevolent
energy swirling all around.
68
00:02:51,625 --> 00:02:53,668
(scoffs) Malevolent energy?
69
00:02:53,693 --> 00:02:55,924
Lucy, what are you talking about?
70
00:02:56,416 --> 00:02:58,571
Passive-aggressive activity.
71
00:02:58,773 --> 00:03:01,620
(ominous music)
72
00:03:01,861 --> 00:03:04,711
Oh, ho ho! There she is!
73
00:03:04,736 --> 00:03:05,937
Hi, Mommy.
74
00:03:05,962 --> 00:03:08,395
Oh, so good of you to take the time.
75
00:03:08,420 --> 00:03:09,420
Hi.
76
00:03:09,478 --> 00:03:11,868
- Well, hey, there.
- Hi there, Mr. Parker.
77
00:03:11,893 --> 00:03:13,532
Ooh, firm handshake, good eye contact.
78
00:03:13,557 --> 00:03:14,471
You've got the job!
79
00:03:14,496 --> 00:03:16,124
Oh. (laughs)
80
00:03:16,149 --> 00:03:17,914
Oh, you must be the Josh
we've heard so much about.
81
00:03:17,938 --> 00:03:19,296
Guilty.
82
00:03:19,321 --> 00:03:20,597
- Guilty.
- Guilty.
83
00:03:20,622 --> 00:03:21,569
- Guilty, huh?
- Yup.
84
00:03:21,594 --> 00:03:23,719
Well, then I sentence you
to let me carry those bags.
85
00:03:23,743 --> 00:03:26,138
(laughter)
86
00:03:26,399 --> 00:03:28,733
- Thank you. Thank you.
- Oh, I've got iced teas
87
00:03:28,758 --> 00:03:29,635
for everyone.
88
00:03:29,660 --> 00:03:31,526
- Mmm.
- Come on.
89
00:03:32,526 --> 00:03:34,546
Your parents seem great!
90
00:03:34,571 --> 00:03:36,931
Yeah, well, they're not.
They're super judgmental.
91
00:03:39,184 --> 00:03:40,579
(dramatic music)
92
00:03:40,604 --> 00:03:42,427
Oh, my God, look, look, look!
93
00:03:42,452 --> 00:03:43,753
94
00:03:43,777 --> 00:03:45,012
What?
95
00:03:45,204 --> 00:03:46,686
My mom was just up in that window,
96
00:03:46,711 --> 00:03:48,240
giving me a disapproving look.
97
00:03:48,265 --> 00:03:50,824
Oh, that's just foolish talk.
98
00:03:50,849 --> 00:03:52,561
It's probably just a trick of the light.
99
00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:54,767
Here, I'll meet you inside there.
100
00:03:54,945 --> 00:03:57,833
(spooky music)
101
00:03:58,251 --> 00:04:00,413
Ah, it's just nice to
get out of the city,
102
00:04:00,438 --> 00:04:01,773
I'll tell you that much.
103
00:04:01,798 --> 00:04:03,366
Josh, Josh, look, look, look! Look!
104
00:04:03,391 --> 00:04:04,833
- What?
- The picture.
105
00:04:04,988 --> 00:04:06,217
I-I don't see a picture.
106
00:04:06,242 --> 00:04:07,249
Exactly.
107
00:04:08,278 --> 00:04:10,889
108
00:04:11,350 --> 00:04:14,671
This is the only picture
they have of me that I like,
109
00:04:14,836 --> 00:04:16,571
okay, and it's in there?
110
00:04:16,596 --> 00:04:18,066
Oh, it's probably just the wind.
111
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,750
The wind put it in a drawer?
112
00:04:19,775 --> 00:04:22,344
Josh, come on, this is classic
passive-aggressive activity.
113
00:04:22,369 --> 00:04:24,386
You smell that country
air? That's just...
114
00:04:24,411 --> 00:04:26,497
(sniffs) It's refreshing,
is what that is.
115
00:04:26,522 --> 00:04:27,957
(groans) Josh!
116
00:04:27,982 --> 00:04:30,393
Ahh. (sniffs)
117
00:04:33,057 --> 00:04:34,059
(screams)
118
00:04:34,084 --> 00:04:35,769
(dramatic music flourish)
119
00:04:37,099 --> 00:04:38,568
Oh.
120
00:04:38,593 --> 00:04:41,449
(light rock music)
121
00:04:41,474 --> 00:04:45,545
122
00:04:45,570 --> 00:04:46,796
Okay.
123
00:04:46,821 --> 00:04:49,194
124
00:04:49,219 --> 00:04:51,209
(sighs) Okay.
125
00:04:51,234 --> 00:04:54,426
We should be safe in here.
126
00:04:54,530 --> 00:04:56,478
(scary music)
127
00:04:56,503 --> 00:04:58,484
What the heck?
128
00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:02,569
Are you kidding me? The Broke, Confused,
129
00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:04,804
Out of Control Kidz Guide to Finances?
130
00:05:04,829 --> 00:05:06,140
This isn't mine.
131
00:05:06,165 --> 00:05:07,494
Ah, it's probably just the wind.
132
00:05:07,519 --> 00:05:09,260
No, Josh, it was moved here.
133
00:05:09,285 --> 00:05:10,883
They're trying to send me a message.
134
00:05:11,133 --> 00:05:13,666
A message about-about IRAs and 401(k)s.
135
00:05:13,691 --> 00:05:15,158
You can see it. You can see it, right?
136
00:05:15,182 --> 00:05:19,823
Hmm. All I see is a girl
who needs a vacation.
137
00:05:21,270 --> 00:05:23,065
You think I'm crazy, don't you?
138
00:05:23,090 --> 00:05:25,302
Hmm. Crazy adorable, maybe.
139
00:05:25,327 --> 00:05:27,208
No, Josh! Josh, listen, okay?
140
00:05:27,233 --> 00:05:28,948
This is real. This is real and-and,
141
00:05:28,973 --> 00:05:31,125
and-and it's happening and
I'm gonna prove it to you!
142
00:05:31,605 --> 00:05:34,181
Hey, hey, you're missing
the movie and the popcorn.
143
00:05:34,206 --> 00:05:36,076
What are you doing, hiding away there?
144
00:05:36,108 --> 00:05:38,415
Wha...?
Uh, who-who the heck are these guys?
145
00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:39,535
(spooky music)
146
00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:40,754
You want proof my parents are dicks?
147
00:05:40,778 --> 00:05:41,904
- No.
- These guys are gonna
148
00:05:41,929 --> 00:05:43,123
- get it for ya.
- Okay.
149
00:05:43,148 --> 00:05:44,575
That's right, Luce, we are experts
150
00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:46,680
in detecting
passive-aggressive activity.
151
00:05:46,705 --> 00:05:50,160
If it's in this house
we're gonna get it on tape.
152
00:05:50,186 --> 00:05:52,000
This stuff does everything.
153
00:05:52,098 --> 00:05:55,863
This one picks up sighs.
This picks up sarcastic remarks.
154
00:05:55,888 --> 00:05:57,473
This picks up eye rolls.
155
00:05:57,498 --> 00:05:59,513
This one picks up ghosts.
Don't worry about that one.
156
00:05:59,537 --> 00:06:01,823
Lucy, is all this necessary?
And why is there a camera
157
00:06:01,870 --> 00:06:04,881
- pointed at the toilet?
- Okay, Josh, please.
158
00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:06,813
Switching to night vision!
159
00:06:06,838 --> 00:06:08,540
(electronic whoosh)
160
00:06:08,565 --> 00:06:10,739
Lucy, we're-we're missing
all the fun, okay,
161
00:06:10,764 --> 00:06:12,619
so let's just you and me go downstairs,
162
00:06:12,644 --> 00:06:15,417
watch the end of Saving
Mr. Banks with your folks.
163
00:06:15,442 --> 00:06:16,942
Josh, Josh, no, Josh, no.
164
00:06:16,975 --> 00:06:18,101
You have to stay until
we find something.
165
00:06:18,125 --> 00:06:19,897
Something concrete,
something you can't deny.
166
00:06:19,922 --> 00:06:22,124
But I need to know how
they save Mr. Banks.
167
00:06:22,149 --> 00:06:23,149
Josh.
168
00:06:23,659 --> 00:06:25,325
Fine.
169
00:06:25,350 --> 00:06:27,492
(machines beeping)
170
00:06:27,517 --> 00:06:29,582
(movie music playing on the TV)
171
00:06:30,297 --> 00:06:32,033
Look out, Mr. Banks.
172
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:34,627
Thanks, pal, you just saved my life.
173
00:06:34,661 --> 00:06:36,262
174
00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:37,424
Damn it.
175
00:06:38,060 --> 00:06:39,875
(snoring)
176
00:06:42,950 --> 00:06:45,339
Hmm? What?
177
00:06:45,502 --> 00:06:47,626
- What time is it?
- 10:20.
178
00:06:47,911 --> 00:06:50,413
Still nothing. You want to call it?
179
00:06:50,438 --> 00:06:54,065
That's... (coughs)
180
00:06:54,312 --> 00:06:55,562
Wait a minute.
181
00:06:55,587 --> 00:06:57,328
Wait, what is that? What's on the table?
182
00:06:57,682 --> 00:06:59,119
Can you enhance that?
183
00:06:59,144 --> 00:07:00,913
Ask and ye shall receive.
184
00:07:00,938 --> 00:07:02,538
(typing clacks)
185
00:07:02,563 --> 00:07:04,165
How long has that breakfast been there?
186
00:07:04,190 --> 00:07:07,027
Let me just rewind here.
187
00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:08,736
188
00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:12,349
Three hours.
189
00:07:12,429 --> 00:07:15,366
Why would they put
breakfast out so early?
190
00:07:15,391 --> 00:07:16,768
I will tell you why,
191
00:07:16,793 --> 00:07:18,369
so that I would sleep through it
192
00:07:18,394 --> 00:07:20,236
and they could make jokes
about how long I slept,
193
00:07:20,260 --> 00:07:21,599
like, "Oh, nice of you to join us",
194
00:07:21,624 --> 00:07:23,209
you lazy, unsuccessful loser."
195
00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:25,547
This-this-this is proof.
Can you make me a copy of this?
196
00:07:25,598 --> 00:07:28,047
- Already done.
- (groans)
197
00:07:28,072 --> 00:07:30,266
Josh, hey. Josh, you want proof?
I got it right here.
198
00:07:30,291 --> 00:07:31,560
(dramatic music)
199
00:07:31,585 --> 00:07:33,554
Josh?
200
00:07:33,579 --> 00:07:34,811
201
00:07:34,836 --> 00:07:37,338
- Josh?
- (laughter)
202
00:07:37,363 --> 00:07:39,774
- Ah. Give him a second.
- For me.
203
00:07:39,799 --> 00:07:41,701
- That is not a...
- You give him half a second.
204
00:07:41,734 --> 00:07:42,944
- Aw, well, I tried.
- I know, he thought about...
205
00:07:42,968 --> 00:07:44,536
He's running a racket here.
206
00:07:44,569 --> 00:07:46,372
- A career in the arts.
- How 'bout Spanish?
207
00:07:46,405 --> 00:07:47,941
Can we use Spanish words like "si"?
208
00:07:47,973 --> 00:07:49,350
- No, you can't use Spanish.
- No, of course not.
209
00:07:49,374 --> 00:07:50,566
(scary music)
210
00:07:50,591 --> 00:07:51,666
Nice of you to join us.
211
00:07:51,691 --> 00:07:54,050
Oh, the dead have finally risen.
212
00:07:54,075 --> 00:07:56,041
Yeah, look who's up at
the crack of noon there,
213
00:07:56,066 --> 00:07:57,167
sleepyhead.
214
00:07:57,192 --> 00:07:58,969
(laughter)
215
00:07:58,995 --> 00:08:01,586
(whispering) That's
why you couldn't see.
216
00:08:02,441 --> 00:08:05,105
You're one of them.
217
00:08:05,257 --> 00:08:06,659
(pleasant music)
218
00:08:06,684 --> 00:08:08,101
- Yeah!
- (both groan)
219
00:08:08,126 --> 00:08:09,928
Gosh darn it, that's three in a row.
220
00:08:09,953 --> 00:08:11,091
You're getting so good at Bananagrams,
221
00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:12,549
it's losing its "appeal."
222
00:08:12,574 --> 00:08:13,632
- (laughs)
- (groans)
223
00:08:13,657 --> 00:08:15,644
I get it, "a peel."
224
00:08:15,669 --> 00:08:18,472
Well, then I guess it's a
good thing we have to "split."
225
00:08:18,497 --> 00:08:20,032
- (both groan)
- (laughs)
226
00:08:20,057 --> 00:08:21,759
- That's a good one!
- Terrible.
227
00:08:21,784 --> 00:08:23,329
Oh, you two.
228
00:08:23,354 --> 00:08:25,124
Josh, do you want popcorn for the road?
229
00:08:25,149 --> 00:08:26,152
- Ooh. Come on.
- Hmm, let me think on that.
230
00:08:26,176 --> 00:08:27,507
Ooh, ooh.
231
00:08:27,532 --> 00:08:29,339
- Yes, please!
- Yes, of course..
232
00:08:29,364 --> 00:08:30,778
- I'll get it.
- I got it.
233
00:08:30,803 --> 00:08:32,875
- (drumming on the table)
- Ah.
234
00:08:32,900 --> 00:08:33,685
- (sighs)
- Oh.
235
00:08:33,710 --> 00:08:35,263
Hey, you.
236
00:08:35,423 --> 00:08:37,491
What are you doing out there?
237
00:08:37,516 --> 00:08:39,255
- Whoa.
- I thought you were on my side.
238
00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:41,447
Uh, I, I am on your side.
239
00:08:41,472 --> 00:08:43,275
Are you? 'Cause it-it looked
like you spent the whole morning
240
00:08:43,299 --> 00:08:44,882
with my folks, laughing
and ganging up on me
241
00:08:44,906 --> 00:08:46,458
and making fun of me for not
coming down to breakfast.
242
00:08:46,482 --> 00:08:49,686
Lucy, we're just "Bananagraming."
243
00:08:49,711 --> 00:08:52,815
Not everything is, like,
a conspiracy against you.
244
00:08:53,830 --> 00:08:56,033
(ominous music)
245
00:08:56,194 --> 00:08:58,796
Joshua, c-can, can I talk to
you upstairs for just a minute?
246
00:08:58,821 --> 00:09:00,123
- Oh, okay.
- Okay.
247
00:09:00,148 --> 00:09:01,250
Yep.
248
00:09:01,275 --> 00:09:04,453
249
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:08,339
(door closes)
250
00:09:08,364 --> 00:09:11,767
251
00:09:11,792 --> 00:09:14,195
(sighs)
252
00:09:17,756 --> 00:09:19,693
(crowd murmuring)
253
00:09:19,718 --> 00:09:23,261
Oh. All right, Christ, Jesus.
All right, okay.
254
00:09:23,287 --> 00:09:25,463
What the hell? Uh...
255
00:09:25,487 --> 00:09:28,782
Lu... Lucy? Um, um...
256
00:09:29,509 --> 00:09:32,246
What-what's... what's going on?
257
00:09:32,271 --> 00:09:34,322
Mr. Greenberg,
you stand before us under suspicion
258
00:09:34,347 --> 00:09:36,323
of being a parent sympathizer.
259
00:09:36,348 --> 00:09:38,682
What? That's-that's, that's ridiculous.
260
00:09:38,707 --> 00:09:40,107
Is it, Mr. Greenberg?
261
00:09:40,305 --> 00:09:42,187
- Yes.
- Is it?
262
00:09:42,479 --> 00:09:45,449
I will prove that this man
not only attended meetings,
263
00:09:45,474 --> 00:09:48,819
but was found in possession
of parental literature.
264
00:09:48,844 --> 00:09:49,803
(all gasp)
265
00:09:49,828 --> 00:09:51,514
What? Uh, uh, what? Uh...
266
00:09:51,539 --> 00:09:54,107
Mr. Greenberg, who gave you this book?
267
00:09:54,132 --> 00:09:56,569
(muffled) Well, I don't remember.
268
00:09:56,715 --> 00:09:59,561
- I-I don't remember.
- (feedback screeches)
269
00:09:59,844 --> 00:10:01,279
Was it this man?
270
00:10:01,304 --> 00:10:02,431
Shit. (stammers)
271
00:10:02,456 --> 00:10:06,652
Um, I-I-I would like to
plead the Third Amendment.
272
00:10:06,748 --> 00:10:07,947
You want to forbid soldiers
273
00:10:07,972 --> 00:10:09,082
from quartering in private homes?
274
00:10:09,106 --> 00:10:12,737
(stuttering) Uh, the 12th Amendment.
275
00:10:13,001 --> 00:10:15,536
You want to revise presidential
election proced...
276
00:10:15,561 --> 00:10:17,643
You know the amendment
I'm trying to get to!
277
00:10:17,668 --> 00:10:20,180
Mr. Greenberg, who gave you this book?
278
00:10:20,205 --> 00:10:22,757
No. I'm not gonna name names,
279
00:10:22,868 --> 00:10:24,794
because this is a witch hunt,
and you know it.
280
00:10:24,819 --> 00:10:26,197
Is it not true, Mr. Greenberg,
281
00:10:26,222 --> 00:10:27,724
that my father gave you this book?
282
00:10:27,749 --> 00:10:29,654
Is it not also true that
you have been posing
283
00:10:29,679 --> 00:10:31,915
as a loyal Lucy-ist,
all the while fraternizing
284
00:10:31,940 --> 00:10:34,069
and conspiring with the enemy secretly?
285
00:10:34,095 --> 00:10:35,892
And is it not also true, Mr. Greenberg,
286
00:10:35,917 --> 00:10:38,191
that you are in fact
a parent-loving pinko
287
00:10:38,224 --> 00:10:39,291
- and a traitor?
- Okay, fine!
288
00:10:39,315 --> 00:10:41,280
- It's true, I am!
- (all gasping)
289
00:10:41,305 --> 00:10:43,441
I am! I did it!
290
00:10:43,466 --> 00:10:45,268
I went to some of their meetings!
291
00:10:45,293 --> 00:10:47,529
And I listened to what they had to say.
292
00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:50,930
And you know what? It
sounded pretty good.
293
00:10:50,955 --> 00:10:53,491
So maybe I am a parent sympathizer,
294
00:10:53,516 --> 00:10:57,997
because I like your parents!
I like your parents.
295
00:10:58,022 --> 00:10:59,303
I don't know why that's a crime.
296
00:10:59,328 --> 00:11:02,409
They're nice to me.
They gave me popcorn.
297
00:11:02,434 --> 00:11:04,795
They showed me a very good movie
298
00:11:04,820 --> 00:11:08,290
that I will now never see the ending of,
all right?
299
00:11:08,314 --> 00:11:09,417
I'm not gonna spend money just to see
300
00:11:09,441 --> 00:11:11,518
the last 14 minutes of it.
301
00:11:11,543 --> 00:11:14,879
No, I'm probably gonna end up
"Wikipedia-ing" the synopsis,
302
00:11:14,904 --> 00:11:16,263
like an animal!
303
00:11:16,287 --> 00:11:19,358
The point is your
parents are nice to me.
304
00:11:19,421 --> 00:11:22,621
And by the way, they're
nice to you, too.
305
00:11:22,646 --> 00:11:24,853
They did cover your
student loan payment,
306
00:11:24,878 --> 00:11:26,903
didn't they? I mean, this whole time,
307
00:11:26,928 --> 00:11:30,551
the only person in that house
who hasn't been nice is you.
308
00:11:30,576 --> 00:11:32,782
(all gasping)
309
00:11:33,883 --> 00:11:35,819
That's cool. Uh, yeah, you.
310
00:11:35,844 --> 00:11:39,294
This whole time you've been
pouting in your room, Eeyore.
311
00:11:39,319 --> 00:11:40,749
(crowd murmurs)
312
00:11:40,774 --> 00:11:42,574
Yeah. Ever since we got here,
313
00:11:42,599 --> 00:11:45,103
you've been acting really immature.
314
00:11:45,128 --> 00:11:47,818
Really?
Really, Josh, I've been acting immature?
315
00:11:47,843 --> 00:11:49,829
Okay, that's great.
You've been acting like somebody
316
00:11:49,853 --> 00:11:51,732
- who should suck my dick!
- Oh, Jesus.
317
00:11:51,757 --> 00:11:54,296
- Jesus Christ, Lucy, that's...
- You know what?
318
00:11:54,321 --> 00:11:56,376
(bleep) all y'all can suck my dick,
all right?
319
00:11:56,401 --> 00:11:59,264
Suck my dick. Suck my dick.
You, (bleep) that guy.
320
00:11:59,289 --> 00:12:00,457
You, (bleep) eat me.
321
00:12:00,482 --> 00:12:01,512
Can we talk about this?
322
00:12:01,537 --> 00:12:03,340
What is there to talk about?
323
00:12:03,365 --> 00:12:08,266
Okay? Surprise, surprise,
I'm on my own... as usual.
324
00:12:11,730 --> 00:12:14,767
Wait, Lucy, I-I just... Can you...?
325
00:12:14,824 --> 00:12:17,975
Okay, can I just...?
Can you guys move a little bit?
326
00:12:19,529 --> 00:12:21,885
Wait, wait, Lucy, Lucy.
327
00:12:21,910 --> 00:12:23,482
Wait, what the...?
328
00:12:24,791 --> 00:12:26,896
Uh, Lu-Lucy!
329
00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:29,793
Lucy! Lucy!
330
00:12:29,818 --> 00:12:31,320
Oh, is she in the attic?
331
00:12:31,345 --> 00:12:32,714
Yeah, uh,
332
00:12:32,739 --> 00:12:34,274
is there, like,
a string that comes down, or...?
333
00:12:34,298 --> 00:12:36,033
No, no, she takes it up with her.
334
00:12:36,058 --> 00:12:37,625
- Hmm.
- I'd settle in.
335
00:12:37,650 --> 00:12:39,811
- Could be a while.
- (sighs)
336
00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:41,797
Lu-Lucy?
337
00:12:41,822 --> 00:12:45,660
Luce, talk to me, please. Say something.
338
00:12:55,228 --> 00:12:58,198
(wistful music)
339
00:12:58,223 --> 00:13:01,360
340
00:13:01,385 --> 00:13:03,788
(door creaks)
341
00:13:14,107 --> 00:13:16,744
(short laugh)
342
00:13:19,175 --> 00:13:21,613
343
00:13:35,895 --> 00:13:38,865
(pleasant music)
344
00:13:38,890 --> 00:13:41,294
345
00:13:57,568 --> 00:13:59,572
(chuckles)
346
00:14:04,351 --> 00:14:06,355
(laughs)
347
00:14:09,827 --> 00:14:12,831
(blows horn)
348
00:14:14,984 --> 00:14:17,237
Queen Lucy?
349
00:14:17,787 --> 00:14:19,550
Puffala!
350
00:14:20,015 --> 00:14:22,654
- Oh, how I missed you so!
- (laughing) Hi!
351
00:14:22,679 --> 00:14:24,525
(both laughing)
352
00:14:24,550 --> 00:14:26,219
Your Majesty.
353
00:14:26,244 --> 00:14:28,447
Ruffala! Picklepop!
354
00:14:28,472 --> 00:14:30,413
You've returned!
355
00:14:30,795 --> 00:14:32,698
We haven't seen you in 20 years,
356
00:14:32,731 --> 00:14:33,968
not since the time you ran away
357
00:14:33,992 --> 00:14:36,108
because your parents threw
out your Play-Doh statues.
358
00:14:36,133 --> 00:14:37,735
I'll never forget that night.
359
00:14:37,861 --> 00:14:39,698
We howled at the moon and...
360
00:14:39,731 --> 00:14:42,371
and did the wild monster
dance all night long!
361
00:14:42,396 --> 00:14:46,451
Right, the wild monster dance!
Remember, guys?
362
00:14:46,476 --> 00:14:49,563
All:
Grakka gundda grakka snools
363
00:14:49,588 --> 00:14:52,812
No more parents no more rules
364
00:14:52,837 --> 00:14:54,640
(laughter)
365
00:14:54,665 --> 00:14:57,071
Oh, ha ha ha!
366
00:14:57,186 --> 00:14:59,225
So, what brings you back to us?
367
00:14:59,250 --> 00:15:00,385
I ran away again.
368
00:15:00,418 --> 00:15:03,255
(laughs) Wait, no, seriously?
369
00:15:03,288 --> 00:15:05,572
Come, let's travel to
the land of Biddle Bop
370
00:15:05,597 --> 00:15:07,466
and eat 100 jelly pies!
371
00:15:07,491 --> 00:15:09,727
Um, I totally would,
372
00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:12,197
but my nutritionist has me off pies.
373
00:15:12,230 --> 00:15:13,466
And Biddle Bop?
374
00:15:13,491 --> 00:15:15,141
With the construction they're
doing on the bridge...
375
00:15:15,165 --> 00:15:17,268
ugh, that's a four-hour ordeal.
376
00:15:17,302 --> 00:15:18,712
I don't understand.
What happened to you guys?
377
00:15:18,736 --> 00:15:19,871
You changed.
378
00:15:19,904 --> 00:15:21,409
We didn't change, Lucy, we just,
379
00:15:21,434 --> 00:15:24,161
you know, grew up, I guess.
380
00:15:24,394 --> 00:15:26,786
Uh, wait,
so who are you running away from again?
381
00:15:26,874 --> 00:15:27,954
My parents.
382
00:15:27,979 --> 00:15:30,251
Jim and Carolyn? They're still alive?
383
00:15:30,276 --> 00:15:33,313
Oh, that is such a
blessing. How are they?
384
00:15:33,338 --> 00:15:34,666
They're driving me
crazy is how they are.
385
00:15:34,690 --> 00:15:36,720
Look, look at this
stupid book they gave me.
386
00:15:36,745 --> 00:15:39,748
Ooh, you're in for a treat.
That book changed my life.
387
00:15:39,780 --> 00:15:41,140
What? No, that... No, no.
388
00:15:41,165 --> 00:15:42,196
Listen, that's-that's not the point.
389
00:15:42,220 --> 00:15:43,763
I don't need them to save me.
390
00:15:43,788 --> 00:15:46,897
If I want to do an IRA,
then that-that's my business, right?
391
00:15:46,922 --> 00:15:49,957
"Do an IRA"?
Do you even know what an IRA is?
392
00:15:49,990 --> 00:15:52,894
Uh-huh, it's, like, um, a savings bond.
393
00:15:52,927 --> 00:15:54,475
Do you want me to explain it to you?
394
00:15:54,500 --> 00:15:55,787
No.
395
00:15:56,509 --> 00:15:57,893
Okay.
396
00:15:57,918 --> 00:16:00,877
All right, so, an IRA is an account
397
00:16:00,902 --> 00:16:03,904
where you set aside a portion
of your pre-tax income...
398
00:16:03,929 --> 00:16:05,697
up to 5,500 bucks a year,
399
00:16:05,722 --> 00:16:08,343
or $6,500 when you hit 50.
400
00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:10,946
That money comes right
off your taxable income,
401
00:16:10,971 --> 00:16:13,292
which means... you guessed it...
402
00:16:13,317 --> 00:16:17,154
instant tax refund.
That's free money right there.
403
00:16:17,179 --> 00:16:19,515
Um, okay, I guess that makes sense.
404
00:16:19,540 --> 00:16:21,477
You know what doesn't make sense?
405
00:16:21,502 --> 00:16:24,305
Running away from your problems,
406
00:16:24,330 --> 00:16:26,933
because they're never really out there,
are they?
407
00:16:26,958 --> 00:16:28,660
They're in here.
408
00:16:28,685 --> 00:16:30,564
Oh, that's a Hertzberg line.
409
00:16:30,589 --> 00:16:31,894
I know that's a Hertzberg line.
410
00:16:31,919 --> 00:16:33,278
He used that one on me.
411
00:16:33,303 --> 00:16:34,210
Who's Hertzberg?
412
00:16:34,235 --> 00:16:35,450
Oh, he's my therapist.
413
00:16:35,475 --> 00:16:36,877
I mean, he was mine.
414
00:16:36,902 --> 00:16:39,538
Now we all use him. He's amazing.
415
00:16:39,563 --> 00:16:40,969
- I mean, I'm gay, obviously.
- Right.
416
00:16:40,993 --> 00:16:43,028
But just saying that was impossible
417
00:16:43,053 --> 00:16:45,174
before I went to him... just saying it!
418
00:16:45,199 --> 00:16:48,711
And now, because of him,
I know that that's not all I am.
419
00:16:48,736 --> 00:16:51,222
Yes, I'm gay, but I'm also a friend,
420
00:16:51,247 --> 00:16:53,717
a monster, a-a Christian, a brother.
421
00:16:53,742 --> 00:16:55,043
A damn good one, too.
422
00:16:55,068 --> 00:16:56,382
Aw, thanks, Puff.
423
00:16:56,407 --> 00:16:58,443
Lucy? Talk to me.
424
00:16:58,468 --> 00:17:00,466
- Who's that?
- Oh, that's...
425
00:17:00,492 --> 00:17:02,596
Um, that's... that's my boyfriend Josh.
426
00:17:02,621 --> 00:17:04,691
- He sounds worried.
- And hot.
427
00:17:04,716 --> 00:17:07,546
- Muffala!
- I know, I'm terrible.
428
00:17:07,570 --> 00:17:08,771
(laughs)
429
00:17:08,796 --> 00:17:10,944
Lucy... (sighs) I know what it's like
430
00:17:10,969 --> 00:17:12,913
to hate your parents. I get it.
431
00:17:12,938 --> 00:17:16,194
My dad was a monster,
but as far as I see it,
432
00:17:16,219 --> 00:17:17,699
you got two choices.
433
00:17:17,724 --> 00:17:19,951
You can run away and
scream and throw tantrums
434
00:17:19,976 --> 00:17:21,818
until you've scared everyone
else in your life away
435
00:17:21,842 --> 00:17:24,689
or... or you can grow up.
436
00:17:26,334 --> 00:17:28,281
Oh, and next time you visit your folks,
437
00:17:28,306 --> 00:17:29,985
definitely pop one of these.
438
00:17:30,011 --> 00:17:32,522
It's one of my Xanax.
Every time I go home
439
00:17:32,547 --> 00:17:34,394
I take one, like,
an hour before I get even there
440
00:17:34,418 --> 00:17:36,273
so it has time to kick in. (chuckles)
441
00:17:36,298 --> 00:17:37,938
It's monster size, so I don't know,
442
00:17:37,963 --> 00:17:40,386
take a half, I guess. Whatever.
443
00:17:41,723 --> 00:17:43,496
Thanks, Puffala.
444
00:17:43,522 --> 00:17:45,233
(laughs) You got it.
445
00:17:45,258 --> 00:17:46,559
(upbeat music)
446
00:17:46,584 --> 00:17:48,058
Hey, can I drink with this?
447
00:17:48,083 --> 00:17:49,328
Short answer, no.
448
00:17:49,353 --> 00:17:51,279
Long answer, depends on the holiday.
449
00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:53,206
(both laughing)
450
00:17:53,231 --> 00:17:54,466
451
00:17:54,491 --> 00:17:55,432
Bye, guys.
452
00:17:55,458 --> 00:17:58,292
- Bye-bye! (laughs)
- Bye-bye now.
453
00:18:04,063 --> 00:18:05,929
- Hey.
- Hi. Yeah.
454
00:18:05,954 --> 00:18:08,032
Uh, guess we should probably get going.
455
00:18:08,057 --> 00:18:09,692
Josh, wait. Hey, I'm sorry.
456
00:18:09,717 --> 00:18:11,613
- It's okay.
- No, it's not okay.
457
00:18:11,638 --> 00:18:13,194
You were totally right, okay?
458
00:18:13,219 --> 00:18:14,453
I like to think I have my shit together,
459
00:18:14,477 --> 00:18:16,080
and then I spend ten minutes with them
460
00:18:16,105 --> 00:18:17,731
and I-I feel like I'm a kid again,
461
00:18:17,756 --> 00:18:20,092
like a-a stupid kid
who wants their parents
462
00:18:20,117 --> 00:18:21,752
to say she's good enough.
463
00:18:23,433 --> 00:18:24,501
Thank you for coming.
464
00:18:24,526 --> 00:18:26,457
- Thanks, Daddy.
- (chuckles)
465
00:18:26,482 --> 00:18:28,289
I suppose to you've got
to get back to the office,
466
00:18:28,313 --> 00:18:29,914
or is Monday not a workday for you?
467
00:18:29,939 --> 00:18:31,331
- (laughs)
- Oh, now, come on,
468
00:18:31,356 --> 00:18:34,577
she's gotta go to work on
her little poster thing.
469
00:18:34,602 --> 00:18:36,295
Um, great!
470
00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:38,956
Well, thank you both
so much for having us.
471
00:18:38,981 --> 00:18:42,562
Uh, you do know that it's not
a little poster thing, right?
472
00:18:42,587 --> 00:18:45,621
- Josh, it's not worth it.
- No, no, it's a very big deal.
473
00:18:45,646 --> 00:18:47,142
I mean, this is gonna be on billboards.
474
00:18:47,166 --> 00:18:48,685
Something she did is
gonna be on billboards
475
00:18:48,709 --> 00:18:50,445
and in newspapers, the...
476
00:18:50,470 --> 00:18:53,205
The Reader, Time Out,
maybe even the Tribune.
477
00:18:53,230 --> 00:18:54,942
- Hmm.
- We only get USA Today.
478
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:57,171
Oh, my God.
Well, then I guess you're missing out.
479
00:18:57,196 --> 00:18:58,474
- Hmm.
- Yeah. Oh, Josh,
480
00:18:58,498 --> 00:19:00,595
you don't want to forget
your popcorn for the road.
481
00:19:00,620 --> 00:19:01,922
Actually, you know what?
482
00:19:01,947 --> 00:19:04,546
I seem to have lost my
appetite for popcorn.
483
00:19:06,433 --> 00:19:09,236
(Alvvays' "Archie Marry Me")
484
00:19:09,261 --> 00:19:11,172
Boy, you were right,
your parents sure are
485
00:19:11,197 --> 00:19:12,565
- passive-aggressive.
- Josh. Josh, wait.
486
00:19:12,589 --> 00:19:13,657
What? What? Oh.
487
00:19:13,682 --> 00:19:15,774
Oh, mmm. Mmm.
488
00:19:15,858 --> 00:19:16,936
That's nice.
489
00:19:16,961 --> 00:19:18,431
I love you.
490
00:19:18,456 --> 00:19:21,028
(stuttering) I-I love you too.
491
00:19:21,053 --> 00:19:22,885
492
00:19:24,376 --> 00:19:25,841
Hey, um...
493
00:19:27,391 --> 00:19:28,916
can you drive? You wouldn't believe
494
00:19:28,941 --> 00:19:30,531
how much Xanax I just took just now.
495
00:19:30,556 --> 00:19:31,912
Oh. Yeah, no, not at all.
496
00:19:31,937 --> 00:19:33,326
- Let's do it.
- Okay.
497
00:19:33,351 --> 00:19:36,802
You've expressed explicitly
498
00:19:36,827 --> 00:19:41,084
Your contempt for matrimony
499
00:19:41,109 --> 00:19:44,412
Hey, hey
500
00:19:44,437 --> 00:19:49,472
Marry me, Archie
501
00:19:50,347 --> 00:19:53,966
I am a sex addict.
502
00:19:53,991 --> 00:19:56,130
There, I-I said the words.
503
00:19:56,155 --> 00:19:59,558
It took... it took ten
years, but there-there it is.
504
00:19:59,583 --> 00:20:02,180
It... I'm addicted to sex.
505
00:20:02,205 --> 00:20:04,270
There have been other women.
506
00:20:04,295 --> 00:20:06,908
Um, one of Susan's friends from work.
507
00:20:06,933 --> 00:20:09,054
I have not been safe.
508
00:20:09,622 --> 00:20:11,054
Have you told your wife?
509
00:20:11,079 --> 00:20:12,223
No.
510
00:20:12,396 --> 00:20:14,861
What's the worst that could happen?
511
00:20:14,970 --> 00:20:16,630
She could leave me.
512
00:20:16,655 --> 00:20:18,735
Like your mother left your father.
513
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:21,647
Oh, my God! Another breakthrough!
514
00:20:21,673 --> 00:20:24,668
Hertzberg, you're a genius.
515
00:20:24,693 --> 00:20:26,598
Unfortunately, we're out of time.
516
00:20:26,623 --> 00:20:30,533
(roars)
517
00:20:30,583 --> 00:20:35,133
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
36223
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.