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1
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Ladies and gentlemen,
Josh Greenberg.
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[applause]
3
00:00:13,085 --> 00:00:14,084
Masturbation.
4
00:00:16,288 --> 00:00:19,339
We all do it, but what if I told you,
5
00:00:19,424 --> 00:00:22,626
you've been doing it all wrong?
6
00:00:23,795 --> 00:00:26,630
In his 2008 book "Outliers,"
7
00:00:26,715 --> 00:00:30,717
Malcolm Gladwell argues that
any expert in any given field
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must accumulate over 10,000 hours
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00:00:33,605 --> 00:00:35,939
in his or her own craft.
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He calls this the "10,000 Hour Rule."
11
00:00:39,311 --> 00:00:42,775
Well, folks, what about
a 10 million hour rule?
12
00:00:44,449 --> 00:00:47,284
By noon of most days,
I've become desensitized
13
00:00:47,319 --> 00:00:49,736
to even the most outlandish
forms of pornography.
14
00:00:49,821 --> 00:00:53,123
I am just a joyless husk of a man.
15
00:00:53,158 --> 00:00:55,575
So how do I push through it? Hmm?
16
00:00:55,661 --> 00:01:00,380
How do I make myself continue?
17
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Ingenuity.
18
00:01:02,501 --> 00:01:05,969
Say you want to masturbate
to an ex-girlfriend,
19
00:01:06,004 --> 00:01:08,388
or a high school crush
but she's never done porn.
20
00:01:08,473 --> 00:01:11,174
Well, guess you can't
masturbate to her, right?
21
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Wrong!
22
00:01:13,011 --> 00:01:15,345
Take the audio from a porn vid,
23
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and play it under her most
skin-revealing Facebook photos.
24
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Now she's in the action.
25
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[applause]
26
00:01:27,693 --> 00:01:30,026
Um...
27
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Unfortunately, I have to
go take care of something.
28
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[audience murmurs agreement]
29
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Wish me luck. [applause]
30
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Whoo! [applause]
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Synced and corrected by OussLP
- www.addic7ed.com
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I'm not even eating it for
the marshmallows anymore.
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I actually look forward to the oat pieces.
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Guess I'm getting older.
35
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Josh?
36
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Are you even listening to me?
37
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No, no. Sorry.
38
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What, I'm just kind of
in the middle of a thing
39
00:02:20,329 --> 00:02:22,128
with the girl across the bar.
40
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- Ooh, which one?
- Don't... don't look, don't look.
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00:02:23,882 --> 00:02:25,749
I'm trying to take a long game approach.
42
00:02:25,834 --> 00:02:28,051
Step one: facial recognition.
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Just want to plant the
seed. That way maybe sometime
44
00:02:31,423 --> 00:02:33,840
weeks from now I bump
into her and she goes,
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"Hey, don't I recognize
you from someplace?"
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And I'll be like, "Huh. I don't know.
47
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Do you? Maybe?"
48
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That sounds like a really long game.
49
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Ah, I figure what's the hurry, right?
50
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[indistinct whispering]
51
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H-Hello?
52
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Aah! Aah! Aah!
53
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Aah!
54
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Aah!
55
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[screams]
56
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[screaming]
57
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Oh, God.
58
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Are you here to kill me?
59
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No, no? So then, what, what?
60
00:03:29,564 --> 00:03:31,648
What? What do you want?
61
00:03:31,733 --> 00:03:35,318
My teeth? My mouth? My face. My...
62
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My hair?
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00:03:41,326 --> 00:03:43,827
Oh, God, it's gonna look that bad?
64
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Ah, oh! No!
65
00:03:45,497 --> 00:03:47,714
But I'm only 28. I'm too young to go bald!
66
00:03:47,799 --> 00:03:50,633
No, okay! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
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00:03:50,669 --> 00:03:52,168
Okay, what can I do? What can I...
68
00:03:52,254 --> 00:03:54,087
Rogaine! I'll start doing Rogaine, right?
69
00:03:54,172 --> 00:03:55,755
That can buy me some time, if I start using
70
00:03:55,841 --> 00:03:57,974
the creams and the gels, right?
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00:03:58,009 --> 00:04:00,343
No. Okay, so,
72
00:04:00,429 --> 00:04:02,679
So no hair. Guys look good without hair.
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Like Jason Statham.
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00:04:06,101 --> 00:04:09,269
Yeah, I know, okay, I'm not Jason Statham.
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00:04:09,354 --> 00:04:11,654
Man, I feel like... black
guys. If I were black, like...
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00:04:11,690 --> 00:04:14,908
'Cause black guys can pull off
the bald look, I think, right?
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Like...
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00:04:16,445 --> 00:04:18,862
I suppose they have it bad in other ways,
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like oppression.
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I mean, I mean, would you...
would you make that trade?
81
00:04:27,672 --> 00:04:31,257
Yeah, it is interesting. It is interesting.
82
00:04:31,343 --> 00:04:32,709
No!
83
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Oh! Oh! Oh!
84
00:04:38,216 --> 00:04:41,017
So, it's like a gradual process.
85
00:04:41,052 --> 00:04:45,688
Okay, so, ballpark, how
much time we looking at here?
86
00:04:48,527 --> 00:04:51,394
No!
87
00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:54,063
I've got to hurry.
88
00:04:54,149 --> 00:04:56,983
[laughing maniacally]
89
00:05:03,785 --> 00:05:04,985
Man.
90
00:05:06,062 --> 00:05:07,478
God damn it.
91
00:05:09,232 --> 00:05:10,531
Oh, my God.
92
00:05:10,566 --> 00:05:13,150
[knocking on front door]
93
00:05:13,236 --> 00:05:15,569
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold one second.
94
00:05:17,490 --> 00:05:19,907
Both: Hey!
95
00:05:19,992 --> 00:05:23,544
Hey. What's... what's with the hat?
96
00:05:23,579 --> 00:05:25,162
You know, I'm just trying a new look.
97
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It's, uh, business on the bottom,
98
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party atop my head.
99
00:05:30,086 --> 00:05:32,336
- What would you like for dinner?
- Give me that hat, all right?
100
00:05:32,422 --> 00:05:33,921
- You look so ridiculous.
- No, no!
101
00:05:33,973 --> 00:05:35,056
What? It looks ridiculous.
102
00:05:35,091 --> 00:05:37,091
I'm... I got a... I got a...
103
00:05:37,176 --> 00:05:40,561
- What?
- I'm going bald, Liz.
104
00:05:40,596 --> 00:05:43,180
I don't see it. Where?
105
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I can't see it. There's a spot.
106
00:05:44,183 --> 00:05:45,766
There's a spot.
107
00:05:45,818 --> 00:05:48,853
- Right here, there's like a...
- Right there?
108
00:05:48,938 --> 00:05:51,072
I think you're overreacting, there.
109
00:05:51,107 --> 00:05:52,857
I'm not over... you don't
know what this is like.
110
00:05:52,942 --> 00:05:55,776
Imagine just trying to date,
and there's this one part
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00:05:55,862 --> 00:05:58,245
of your body that you have no control over,
112
00:05:58,281 --> 00:06:00,948
that has, like, a ticking clock to it.
113
00:06:03,286 --> 00:06:04,952
Yeah, fair enough. Fair enough.
114
00:06:05,004 --> 00:06:07,788
My point is, I need to
lock something down now.
115
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I need to get in there.
116
00:06:09,125 --> 00:06:11,125
I need to lock something down yesterday,
117
00:06:11,177 --> 00:06:15,463
and I'm not above lowering
my expectations to do that.
118
00:06:15,548 --> 00:06:18,132
Wait, what? Why? What does that mean?
119
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I don't need someone with
all the bells and whistles.
120
00:06:20,436 --> 00:06:25,139
I just need someone
safe. Reliable, you know.
121
00:06:25,224 --> 00:06:26,941
Sounds like you're talking about a car.
122
00:06:29,278 --> 00:06:31,445
Maybe I am.
123
00:06:31,481 --> 00:06:33,147
Maybe I am.
124
00:06:35,401 --> 00:06:38,152
Mike, Liz, I want you to
meet my new girlfriend.
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She's a 1998 Saturn.
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00:06:41,791 --> 00:06:43,657
Hi... hi.
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00:06:43,743 --> 00:06:45,493
What's up? I'm Mike.
128
00:06:45,578 --> 00:06:46,794
[horn honks]
129
00:06:46,829 --> 00:06:48,712
- [laughs]
- Hey, man.
130
00:06:48,798 --> 00:06:50,247
You want to come hit up the buffet with me?
131
00:06:50,333 --> 00:06:52,166
- Oh, yeah, you got it.
- Cool.
132
00:06:52,251 --> 00:06:53,134
All right, I'll see you in a bit.
133
00:06:53,169 --> 00:06:55,669
Mwah!
134
00:06:55,721 --> 00:06:58,672
Uh, don't listen to anything
this one says about me.
135
00:06:58,758 --> 00:07:00,474
- Oh, gosh.
- Nice to meet you.
136
00:07:00,510 --> 00:07:01,592
[bells ring]
137
00:07:01,677 --> 00:07:03,427
Well, I love your hubcaps.
138
00:07:03,513 --> 00:07:05,312
[horn honks]
139
00:07:05,348 --> 00:07:07,982
- So you're attracted to her?
- Yeah, yeah.
140
00:07:08,017 --> 00:07:10,234
I'm not blind... I know she
doesn't have the kind of body
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00:07:10,319 --> 00:07:14,071
you'd see on the cover of
"Penthouse" or "Car and Driver"
142
00:07:14,157 --> 00:07:16,190
or something, but...
143
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We... we make it work.
144
00:07:20,196 --> 00:07:21,745
How, exactly?
145
00:07:21,831 --> 00:07:23,247
Ah, that's pretty personal.
146
00:07:23,332 --> 00:07:27,368
Would you say that you...
put it in her gas hole?
147
00:07:27,420 --> 00:07:29,954
- Mike!
- Well, do you? I don't know.
148
00:07:32,208 --> 00:07:37,378
[laughs nervously]
149
00:07:41,133 --> 00:07:42,716
Yes.
150
00:07:42,768 --> 00:07:44,969
God, um, and... and... and...
151
00:07:47,139 --> 00:07:50,357
Do you, uh, complete the act?
152
00:07:53,229 --> 00:07:56,313
- Yes.
- My God.
153
00:07:56,399 --> 00:08:00,367
Well, look, is it the
best sex I've ever had? No.
154
00:08:00,403 --> 00:08:03,487
Does it get the job done? Sort of.
155
00:08:03,573 --> 00:08:06,323
Does it hurt? Well, I'm
sticking my cock into a gas tank,
156
00:08:06,409 --> 00:08:09,326
so yes, but I'm just
happy to have a girlfriend.
157
00:08:09,412 --> 00:08:11,412
Well, as long as you're happy, man.
158
00:08:11,464 --> 00:08:13,998
Michael, I couldn't be happier.
159
00:08:14,083 --> 00:08:17,668
F-F-Fun on the sun
160
00:08:17,753 --> 00:08:20,971
F-F-Fun on the sun
161
00:08:21,057 --> 00:08:24,258
F-F-Fun on the sun
162
00:08:24,343 --> 00:08:27,478
Everyone loves the sun
163
00:08:27,563 --> 00:08:30,598
F-F-Fun on the sun
164
00:08:30,683 --> 00:08:33,817
F-F-Fun on the sun
165
00:08:33,903 --> 00:08:36,737
Everyone loves the sun
166
00:08:36,772 --> 00:08:38,105
[horn honks]
167
00:08:38,190 --> 00:08:40,324
Everyone loves the sun
168
00:08:40,409 --> 00:08:42,443
Everyone loves the sun
169
00:08:42,495 --> 00:08:44,411
[romantic jazz music]
170
00:08:44,447 --> 00:08:45,412
Hey, hey.
171
00:08:45,448 --> 00:08:46,780
[horn honks]
172
00:08:46,866 --> 00:08:50,618
Yeah.
173
00:08:50,670 --> 00:08:53,671
[singer vocalizing]
174
00:08:53,756 --> 00:08:57,124
175
00:08:57,176 --> 00:09:01,962
We take it slow
176
00:09:02,048 --> 00:09:04,465
177
00:09:04,550 --> 00:09:08,519
We take it slow
178
00:09:08,604 --> 00:09:10,220
We take it slow
179
00:09:10,306 --> 00:09:13,724
No need to hurry
180
00:09:13,809 --> 00:09:15,643
[shooting star twinkling]
181
00:09:15,695 --> 00:09:17,645
We take it slow
182
00:09:17,730 --> 00:09:20,981
[grunting] Ouch.
183
00:09:21,033 --> 00:09:23,484
Oh! Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch.
184
00:09:23,536 --> 00:09:24,818
Ow! Ow!
185
00:09:26,689 --> 00:09:28,372
Josh doesn't bring a lot of ladies home,
186
00:09:28,457 --> 00:09:30,791
so this is a real treat.
187
00:09:35,665 --> 00:09:38,716
Uh, are you sure I can't
get you a glass of wine?
188
00:09:38,801 --> 00:09:42,419
Oh, well, actually, she doesn't drink.
189
00:09:42,505 --> 00:09:43,837
How about some brisket?
190
00:09:43,889 --> 00:09:46,924
She doesn't eat meat.
191
00:09:47,009 --> 00:09:49,510
Just gas, usually.
192
00:09:49,595 --> 00:09:52,313
No only, she... all she eats is gas.
193
00:09:52,348 --> 00:09:53,764
Neato.
194
00:09:57,987 --> 00:10:02,406
Well, I think I'll clear some plates.
195
00:10:02,491 --> 00:10:04,742
Josh, would you mind helping me?
196
00:10:04,827 --> 00:10:06,327
Oh, yeah, not at all.
197
00:10:06,362 --> 00:10:10,414
So, thank you, uh, for having us over.
198
00:10:10,499 --> 00:10:11,865
Mmm.
199
00:10:11,917 --> 00:10:13,834
And I can tell she really likes you.
200
00:10:13,869 --> 00:10:18,539
Josh, you know that Tom
and I love you very much,
201
00:10:18,591 --> 00:10:22,009
and you know that we
will always support you.
202
00:10:22,044 --> 00:10:25,262
- Mm-hmm.
- Having said that,
203
00:10:25,348 --> 00:10:27,181
this is a tough one.
204
00:10:27,216 --> 00:10:29,433
What do you mean?
205
00:10:29,518 --> 00:10:33,937
I think you're settling, Josh,
and I don't want you to settle!
206
00:10:34,023 --> 00:10:38,108
I want you to be with
the person, or the car,
207
00:10:38,194 --> 00:10:41,395
or the boat, or whatever you think
208
00:10:41,447 --> 00:10:43,063
is the absolute best.
209
00:10:43,115 --> 00:10:46,817
Why? Why? It's not like
I'm the absolute best.
210
00:10:46,902 --> 00:10:51,789
- Oh, Joshy!
- Seriously, Mom, I'm a...
211
00:10:51,874 --> 00:10:54,575
balding 28-year-old temp.
212
00:10:54,660 --> 00:10:58,579
I think this midsize sedan is
about the best I'll ever do,
213
00:10:58,664 --> 00:11:03,834
which... which is why I'm
gonna ask her to marry me.
214
00:11:06,138 --> 00:11:08,922
Oh.
215
00:11:08,974 --> 00:11:10,140
Well.
216
00:11:11,811 --> 00:11:13,811
This is a tough one.
217
00:11:18,984 --> 00:11:21,151
Would you do me the honor
218
00:11:21,237 --> 00:11:24,405
of taking me as I am on bended knee?
219
00:11:26,275 --> 00:11:27,991
Oh, shit. The ring.
220
00:11:28,077 --> 00:11:30,611
The ring, the ring, the ring.
221
00:11:30,696 --> 00:11:32,413
Very important.
222
00:11:32,448 --> 00:11:34,665
Oh, right, yeah.
223
00:11:34,750 --> 00:11:36,166
[exhales]
224
00:11:36,252 --> 00:11:38,252
Yeah.
225
00:11:38,287 --> 00:11:40,621
- Saturn, I'm home.
- Ah, you're dirty.
226
00:11:40,706 --> 00:11:42,506
- You are dirty!
- What the hell?
227
00:11:42,591 --> 00:11:44,541
- Ah, Jesus!
- Oh, my God!
228
00:11:44,627 --> 00:11:46,293
- Oh...
- Aah!
229
00:11:46,378 --> 00:11:48,378
Hey, hey, it's not what
it looks like, I'm sorry.
230
00:11:48,464 --> 00:11:50,848
- Get out of my house!
- Can I finish?
231
00:11:50,933 --> 00:11:52,633
No, you can't finish! Get out of here!
232
00:11:52,685 --> 00:11:53,851
Sorry, sorry.
233
00:11:56,639 --> 00:11:58,806
You too!
234
00:11:58,891 --> 00:11:59,773
Sorry.
235
00:12:05,314 --> 00:12:06,213
[horn honks] Yes, ma'am.
236
00:12:15,050 --> 00:12:18,718
[dance music]
237
00:12:18,770 --> 00:12:20,720
Hey, buddy.
238
00:12:20,806 --> 00:12:22,889
What are you doing all alone in the corner?
239
00:12:22,975 --> 00:12:25,392
Mike, I've been doing
240
00:12:25,444 --> 00:12:28,311
some thinking about life,
241
00:12:28,397 --> 00:12:30,981
and I've come to the conclusion
242
00:12:31,066 --> 00:12:32,782
I'm the most pathetic
piece of shit on the planet.
243
00:12:32,868 --> 00:12:34,401
Ah, don't say that.
244
00:12:34,486 --> 00:12:36,369
It's true, though. It's true.
245
00:12:36,405 --> 00:12:39,573
I just keep getting rejected.
246
00:12:39,625 --> 00:12:41,575
And even when I settle,
247
00:12:41,660 --> 00:12:43,743
I still get cheated on
with three other guys.
248
00:12:43,829 --> 00:12:45,712
- Thought it was two guys.
- No, no.
249
00:12:45,747 --> 00:12:47,497
A third was discovered.
250
00:12:47,583 --> 00:12:52,135
Let's face it: I'm a
miserable bald piece of shit
251
00:12:52,221 --> 00:12:54,254
in a stupid beanie.
252
00:12:54,339 --> 00:12:57,307
You know what, I don't
think... I don't care anymore.
253
00:12:57,392 --> 00:12:59,426
I don't even care anymore. That's it.
254
00:12:59,478 --> 00:13:02,345
Take a look, everybody.
Take a look at the freak!
255
00:13:02,431 --> 00:13:03,847
Shut up, shut up.
256
00:13:03,932 --> 00:13:05,815
There's a crazy hot girl over there.
257
00:13:05,901 --> 00:13:09,486
All right, don't look,
don't look, don't look.
258
00:13:09,571 --> 00:13:10,570
Hey, what are you doing?
259
00:13:12,691 --> 00:13:14,441
I'm gonna ask her out.
260
00:13:14,526 --> 00:13:16,159
How are you so confident all of a sudden?
261
00:13:16,245 --> 00:13:17,444
You were just talking
about what a loser you are.
262
00:13:17,496 --> 00:13:19,279
That's just it.
263
00:13:19,348 --> 00:13:23,783
I'm such a loser, I gots
nothing left to lose.
264
00:13:23,869 --> 00:13:26,036
Staring at the red sky
265
00:13:26,121 --> 00:13:29,456
Trying not to run away
266
00:13:29,541 --> 00:13:31,291
You think you
need to save me
267
00:13:31,343 --> 00:13:36,763
Sell yourselfanother lie
268
00:13:36,798 --> 00:13:38,465
Staring atthe ground again
269
00:13:38,550 --> 00:13:40,634
Trying not to wonder why...
270
00:13:40,719 --> 00:13:43,553
Hey, you want to date,
like, a creepy bald guy?
271
00:13:43,639 --> 00:13:45,522
- No.
- Cool.
272
00:13:45,607 --> 00:13:49,059
Dude, that was crazy. Sorry.
273
00:13:49,144 --> 00:13:49,976
- Want to date?
- Go away.
274
00:13:50,028 --> 00:13:51,978
Yep.
275
00:13:52,030 --> 00:13:53,446
- I'm Josh, you want to party?
- No.
276
00:13:53,482 --> 00:13:56,032
Makes sense.
277
00:13:56,118 --> 00:13:57,867
- Should we do this?
- Gross.
278
00:13:57,953 --> 00:14:00,987
- All right.
- Dude, that was insane.
279
00:14:01,039 --> 00:14:03,490
I've never seen somebody get
rejected so many times in a row.
280
00:14:03,542 --> 00:14:05,241
How are you still alive?
281
00:14:05,327 --> 00:14:06,826
Because I use my secret weapon:
282
00:14:06,878 --> 00:14:08,712
not giving a shit.
283
00:14:08,797 --> 00:14:10,497
Yeah, well, you know who will give a shit.
284
00:14:10,582 --> 00:14:13,750
Greenberg!
285
00:14:13,835 --> 00:14:15,385
You're a loose cannon!
286
00:14:15,470 --> 00:14:17,554
You can't walk straight up to girls!
287
00:14:17,639 --> 00:14:19,389
It's too direct.
288
00:14:19,474 --> 00:14:21,725
You got to be cool.
289
00:14:21,810 --> 00:14:23,593
You got to make small talk.
290
00:14:23,679 --> 00:14:25,929
Talk about the "Game of Thrones."
291
00:14:26,014 --> 00:14:30,317
At least play the college
name game, for Christ's sake!
292
00:14:33,405 --> 00:14:35,855
God damn it, Greenberg.
293
00:14:35,907 --> 00:14:37,407
Put that out!
294
00:14:40,996 --> 00:14:43,863
Holy shit!
295
00:14:43,915 --> 00:14:46,166
That's unnecessary, man.
296
00:14:46,201 --> 00:14:47,701
Get out!
297
00:14:47,753 --> 00:14:49,035
[spits]
298
00:14:49,087 --> 00:14:52,372
[siren whirring]
299
00:14:52,457 --> 00:14:53,923
Wait, whoa, whoa. What's going on?
300
00:14:54,009 --> 00:14:55,342
There's a real hot girl at Flanagan's.
301
00:14:55,377 --> 00:14:56,876
She's been there two hours now
302
00:14:56,962 --> 00:14:57,877
and everyone's too afraid to hit on her.
303
00:14:57,929 --> 00:14:59,879
Let's roll.
304
00:14:59,965 --> 00:15:01,297
Now, Josh, wait.
305
00:15:01,383 --> 00:15:02,766
It sounds like she's really hot, man.
306
00:15:02,851 --> 00:15:05,802
We got to think this through. Josh! Ugh!
307
00:15:05,887 --> 00:15:07,387
I'm getting too old for this shit.
308
00:15:07,439 --> 00:15:10,974
[upbeat dramatic music]
309
00:15:11,059 --> 00:15:12,776
Get this shit out of my face.
310
00:15:17,199 --> 00:15:19,899
- What's the sitch?
- It's worse than we thought.
311
00:15:19,951 --> 00:15:21,534
That super-hot woman is
in there with her friends,
312
00:15:21,570 --> 00:15:23,570
and they're really hot too.
313
00:15:23,655 --> 00:15:25,572
The guys inside are scared, all right?
314
00:15:25,657 --> 00:15:27,073
There's no way anyone's gonna hit on her.
315
00:15:27,159 --> 00:15:28,992
Excuse me! Excuse me! Excuse me!
316
00:15:29,077 --> 00:15:32,245
Hi, sorry.
317
00:15:32,330 --> 00:15:34,297
Why does someone have to hit on her?
318
00:15:34,383 --> 00:15:36,249
Well, because she's hot.
319
00:15:36,334 --> 00:15:37,801
Okay, but, so what?
320
00:15:37,886 --> 00:15:42,005
Why does an attractive
woman have to be hit on?
321
00:15:42,090 --> 00:15:43,723
It just doesn't make sense.
322
00:15:46,228 --> 00:15:48,344
- Somebody get her out of here!
- Good. All right.
323
00:15:48,430 --> 00:15:50,430
What's the game plan?
324
00:15:50,515 --> 00:15:52,315
Well, we need a guy on the inside,
325
00:15:52,401 --> 00:15:53,566
talking close to her about something
326
00:15:53,602 --> 00:15:54,984
she can kind of latch on to.
327
00:15:55,070 --> 00:15:56,853
The latest episode of "Empire."
328
00:15:56,938 --> 00:15:58,321
Then maybe, hopefully,
she can say something like,
329
00:15:58,407 --> 00:15:59,823
"Hey, you guys talking about 'Empire'?"
330
00:15:59,908 --> 00:16:02,659
- And then we can say...
- No, no. Screw that.
331
00:16:02,744 --> 00:16:04,360
I'm going in. Hey, hey, hey, hey!
332
00:16:04,446 --> 00:16:05,779
You can't go straight up to her, man.
333
00:16:05,831 --> 00:16:06,780
It's a suicide mission.
334
00:16:06,865 --> 00:16:08,782
You think I care?
335
00:16:08,834 --> 00:16:10,500
I'm loco.
336
00:16:22,380 --> 00:16:25,215
[women speaking indistinctly]
337
00:16:27,969 --> 00:16:30,053
Excuse me, I need to talk
to your friend for a second.
338
00:16:38,063 --> 00:16:40,063
Hi, I'm Josh. You want to go on a date?
339
00:16:40,148 --> 00:16:42,482
You want to reject me?
You want to reject me?
340
00:16:42,567 --> 00:16:45,318
You want to reject me? Go
on, reject me, reject me.
341
00:16:45,370 --> 00:16:48,621
I live for this shit.
Just do me a favor, babe.
342
00:16:48,657 --> 00:16:50,824
Do it right to my face.
343
00:16:50,876 --> 00:16:53,243
- I'll go out with you.
- What?
344
00:16:53,328 --> 00:16:55,462
I'll go on a date with you.
345
00:16:55,497 --> 00:16:57,247
Well, so, when? When should we do this?
346
00:16:57,332 --> 00:16:59,749
When's good for you? I'm available, always.
347
00:16:59,835 --> 00:17:01,551
I mean, you know what? Let's just...
348
00:17:01,636 --> 00:17:04,554
Let's just... let's just give
each other... exchange info,
349
00:17:04,639 --> 00:17:08,725
like we're in a car accident,
and we will figure out
350
00:17:08,810 --> 00:17:11,478
the logistics of everything later on.
351
00:17:11,513 --> 00:17:12,929
Okay.
352
00:17:13,014 --> 00:17:14,931
[triumphant music]
353
00:17:15,016 --> 00:17:17,851
[cheers and applause]
354
00:17:20,522 --> 00:17:24,824
He may be crazy, but god
damn it, he gets the job done.
355
00:17:24,860 --> 00:17:26,326
Occasionally.
356
00:17:26,361 --> 00:17:27,994
Hey, you better not say "I told you so."
357
00:17:28,029 --> 00:17:29,445
Okay.
358
00:17:29,531 --> 00:17:31,414
- But I told you so.
- both: Hey!
359
00:17:31,500 --> 00:17:33,299
[upbeat rock music]
360
00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:37,222
I want to know how the date went.
361
00:17:37,342 --> 00:17:38,149
Terrible.
362
00:17:38,477 --> 00:17:40,598
I got nervous and went on a rant
363
00:17:40,683 --> 00:17:42,850
about the plot holes in "Prometheus."
364
00:17:42,935 --> 00:17:44,735
- How long?
- Pretty long.
365
00:17:44,771 --> 00:17:47,405
I mean, it's a long movie.
It's rife with plot holes.
366
00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:49,490
Did you use the word "rife"?
367
00:17:49,575 --> 00:17:51,442
- Several times.
- Yeah.
368
00:17:51,527 --> 00:17:54,161
Anyway, at least I went for it, right?
369
00:17:54,247 --> 00:17:56,113
And just 'cause it
didn't work out this time,
370
00:17:56,199 --> 00:17:58,582
doesn't mean I won't try again.
371
00:17:58,618 --> 00:18:00,201
Good.
372
00:18:00,286 --> 00:18:01,836
I'm just glad you got
rid of that stupid hat.
373
00:18:01,921 --> 00:18:03,371
Yeah, me too.
374
00:18:21,474 --> 00:18:22,973
[car motor running, wheels squealing]
375
00:18:23,059 --> 00:18:24,358
Man: Watch out!
376
00:18:24,444 --> 00:18:26,143
[dog barking]
377
00:18:32,869 --> 00:18:35,236
Saturn, what the hell are you doing here?
378
00:18:35,321 --> 00:18:37,822
[distorted horn honking]
379
00:18:37,874 --> 00:18:39,240
How much have you had to drink?
380
00:18:39,325 --> 00:18:41,292
[horn honking]
381
00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:42,910
Really? That doesn't sound like two beers.
382
00:18:42,995 --> 00:18:44,929
[distorted horn honking]
383
00:18:49,168 --> 00:18:51,335
No, no, no, no.
384
00:18:51,387 --> 00:18:53,337
[honking continues]
385
00:18:53,423 --> 00:18:55,005
Why do you think? Because
you treated me like crap,
386
00:18:55,091 --> 00:18:56,507
all right, and I moved on.
387
00:18:56,559 --> 00:18:59,427
So please do me a favor,
vacate the premises.
388
00:18:59,512 --> 00:19:01,645
[horn honking]
389
00:19:01,681 --> 00:19:02,847
Reverse.
390
00:19:02,899 --> 00:19:03,931
[distorted horn honk]
391
00:19:04,016 --> 00:19:06,350
Hey, reverse!
392
00:19:08,324 --> 00:19:11,415
Synced and corrected by OussLP
- www.addic7ed.com
393
00:19:11,465 --> 00:19:16,015
Repair and Synchronization by
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