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1
00:00:01,500 --> 00:00:05,600
Pile cream? Pile cream.
Why have you bought me pile cream?
2
00:00:05,650 --> 00:00:08,600
Hally from school said sometimes
when you're pregnant, you get piles.
3
00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:11,460
Well, I haven't.
You sure? Have you checked?
4
00:00:11,500 --> 00:00:14,860
Because she said her downstairs
is... Dan. ..like smashed-up plum crumble.
5
00:00:14,900 --> 00:00:16,260
Sorry, I had that cued up.
6
00:00:16,300 --> 00:00:18,860
Look, I know you're sorry about
forgetting to pick me up.
7
00:00:18,900 --> 00:00:20,620
You don't need to buy me presents.
8
00:00:20,660 --> 00:00:24,020
I want to buy you presents,
you're my...
9
00:00:24,060 --> 00:00:27,220
My?
10
00:00:27,260 --> 00:00:31,260
One more present.
11
00:00:33,580 --> 00:00:36,020
They look happy, don't they?
Makes you think?
12
00:00:36,060 --> 00:00:38,100
Doesn't make me think.
Makes me think.
13
00:00:38,140 --> 00:00:40,620
Makes you think what?
What does it make you think of?
14
00:00:40,660 --> 00:00:42,220
Makes me think of the game
of Twister.
15
00:00:42,260 --> 00:00:44,700
I think if you think a bit harder,
it might make you think of...
16
00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:46,340
Get a job, Dan.
17
00:01:16,380 --> 00:01:18,540
"And that's when I realised,
18
00:01:18,580 --> 00:01:22,220
"I should've gone for a wee
when I had the chance.
19
00:01:22,260 --> 00:01:25,500
"I had started to leak,
and what a surprise,
20
00:01:25,540 --> 00:01:28,420
"I was wearing light blue jeans".
21
00:01:28,460 --> 00:01:31,260
Oh, dear! He sounds very sorry
for himself.
22
00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:34,060
Absolutely self-obsessed,
I'm afraid.
23
00:01:34,100 --> 00:01:38,100
"I was late..." Oh, morning, Carol.
Oh? Would you like a coffee?
24
00:01:38,180 --> 00:01:39,740
Oh, thank you, I'm not to have it.
25
00:01:39,780 --> 00:01:41,340
Father says it makes me skiff.
26
00:01:41,380 --> 00:01:44,060
Skiff? A skiff-skiff here,
a skiff-skiff there.
27
00:01:44,100 --> 00:01:46,860
"Have you had coffee again, girl?
Stop skiffing about the place,"
28
00:01:46,900 --> 00:01:50,180
he'll say, "It's like living with a
Mad March pink-eyed hare"!
29
00:01:50,220 --> 00:01:52,900
..and shouted, 'Look at his
winkle!'"
30
00:01:52,940 --> 00:01:54,180
Did you see the flowers?
31
00:01:54,220 --> 00:01:56,380
Oh, did you leave those?
Thank you, it's really kind.
32
00:01:56,420 --> 00:01:59,940
Just wanted to brighten the place
up a bit for you, it can't be easy.
33
00:01:59,980 --> 00:02:02,580
Living in a dead man's room?
Yeah. No. No.
34
00:02:02,620 --> 00:02:06,620
"Dad did that joke again when he
pulls my trousers and pants down
35
00:02:06,900 --> 00:02:08,860
"when I'm not expecting it.
36
00:02:08,900 --> 00:02:12,100
"Jerry, the milkman, was delivering
at that very moment,
37
00:02:12,140 --> 00:02:14,460
"and he saw my peas and carrot".
38
00:02:14,500 --> 00:02:17,740
On that, do you think we could move
some of the old man's stuff out?
39
00:02:17,780 --> 00:02:21,780
Um... Specifically, the giant
statue of Christ? It's just...
40
00:02:22,220 --> 00:02:25,420
..it's a bit unnerving, cos...
I mean, it's cross-eyed.
41
00:02:25,460 --> 00:02:26,780
Cross-eyed Christ?
42
00:02:26,820 --> 00:02:28,380
Yeah, it's a cross-eyed Christ.
43
00:02:28,420 --> 00:02:29,740
Oh, I'm so sorry, Daniel,
44
00:02:29,780 --> 00:02:32,900
I'm afraid the family absolutely
insist that we move nothing
45
00:02:32,940 --> 00:02:34,820
until they can come themselves.
46
00:02:34,860 --> 00:02:36,700
Lord knows when that's going to be.
47
00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:40,340
They've had their bus pass
taken away!
48
00:02:40,380 --> 00:02:42,740
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
49
00:02:42,780 --> 00:02:44,580
"He gave Dad a thumbs-up,
50
00:02:44,620 --> 00:02:48,540
"and then they started talking about
race horses, as if I wasn't there.
51
00:02:48,580 --> 00:02:51,700
"I pulled my pants up, and watched
Swap Shop".
52
00:02:51,740 --> 00:02:55,740
The child had no idea about
narrative structure, for a start.
53
00:02:55,820 --> 00:02:59,820
Is it any wonder his dad ridiculed
him? Sounds like he needed it!
54
00:02:59,940 --> 00:03:03,340
Needed it! Yes, Richard was just
trying to toughen the boy up!
55
00:03:03,380 --> 00:03:06,620
You were too soft on him, Polly,
let him get away with too much!
56
00:03:06,660 --> 00:03:10,660
Shh! His dad loved him very much.
57
00:03:11,780 --> 00:03:14,380
What are you reading?
58
00:03:14,420 --> 00:03:16,380
Nothing. Mum!
59
00:03:16,420 --> 00:03:19,220
Well, Daniel, I was going through
some things in storage,
60
00:03:19,260 --> 00:03:21,140
and I found your diary.
61
00:03:21,180 --> 00:03:23,060
And it's worried me very much!
62
00:03:23,100 --> 00:03:24,180
She overindulged you,
63
00:03:24,220 --> 00:03:26,980
and she's worried you'll do the same
to Simon Bridges.
64
00:03:27,020 --> 00:03:28,380
Give me that!
65
00:03:28,420 --> 00:03:31,580
Daniel! You must make Simon strong!
66
00:03:31,620 --> 00:03:34,180
Teach him not to be so frightened of
everything!
67
00:03:34,220 --> 00:03:37,580
Yes, and teach him not to put his
Action Men rifles up his penis!
68
00:03:38,900 --> 00:03:40,180
Page 54!
69
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,100
The child was deranged!
70
00:03:42,140 --> 00:03:43,820
Like a hot monkey!
71
00:03:43,860 --> 00:03:47,860
Unbelievable!
72
00:03:49,340 --> 00:03:52,380
Remember, one man's rubbish
is another man's gold.
73
00:03:52,420 --> 00:03:54,780
Last week, I went past the bins
in Marks and Spencer,
74
00:03:54,820 --> 00:03:56,540
I found a whole frozen chicken.
75
00:03:56,580 --> 00:03:59,140
It got wrapped in a cardigan,
and was perfectly preserved.
76
00:03:59,180 --> 00:04:01,220
Mr Crumbs... Enjoying that?
77
00:04:01,260 --> 00:04:05,260
I like yogurt.
Well, you like MY yogurts.
78
00:04:05,740 --> 00:04:07,060
It was in fridge.
79
00:04:07,100 --> 00:04:09,300
My fridge!
80
00:04:09,340 --> 00:04:11,580
Morning Brian! Really exciting
meeting.
81
00:04:11,620 --> 00:04:14,660
You know what? Being fired from the
lost property office has made me
82
00:04:14,700 --> 00:04:18,620
realise money is an absolute con.
83
00:04:18,660 --> 00:04:20,980
Turns out, you don't need a job.
84
00:04:21,020 --> 00:04:23,340
You can live with no money.
85
00:04:23,380 --> 00:04:27,140
OK, just as an alternative theory,
no, you can't.
86
00:04:27,180 --> 00:04:30,660
You can, and it's called
"freeganism"!
87
00:04:30,700 --> 00:04:33,860
Right, Mr Crumbs? Oh, yeah, big
time!
88
00:04:33,900 --> 00:04:37,340
You, Mickey and...
89
00:04:37,380 --> 00:04:41,380
Mr Crumbs. Mr Crumbs are indeed
living for free, in my flat.
90
00:04:41,900 --> 00:04:45,900
Brian, yesterday, Mickey
and Mr Crumbs only ate bread
91
00:04:45,980 --> 00:04:47,700
they found in the park.
92
00:04:47,740 --> 00:04:48,780
And that was just day one!
93
00:04:48,820 --> 00:04:50,660
We've come up with loads
of ideas today!
94
00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:54,700
OK, well, while you and your two
human ducks are wasting the day
95
00:04:55,060 --> 00:04:57,900
with this horseshit, could you
please ask Mr Crumbs to stop
96
00:04:57,940 --> 00:05:00,380
helping himself to my yogurts?
97
00:05:00,420 --> 00:05:04,420
I likes yogurts. Yes!
98
00:05:04,740 --> 00:05:07,300
See how stressed money makes you,
guys?
99
00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:09,020
Right, let's get brainstorming.
100
00:05:09,060 --> 00:05:13,060
MUSIC: Lovely Day
by Bill Withers
101
00:05:14,780 --> 00:05:18,780
When I wake up in the morning,
love
102
00:05:19,700 --> 00:05:23,700
And the sunlight hurts my eyes
103
00:05:24,820 --> 00:05:28,820
And something without warning,
love
104
00:05:29,300 --> 00:05:33,300
Bears heavy on my mind
105
00:05:33,460 --> 00:05:37,060
Then I look at you
106
00:05:37,100 --> 00:05:40,140
? And the world's all right
with me... ?
107
00:05:43,300 --> 00:05:46,940
Just one look at you
108
00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:50,980
And I know it's going to be
109
00:05:52,140 --> 00:05:53,340
? A lovely day... ?
110
00:05:58,140 --> 00:06:00,340
The hell was all that about?
What?
111
00:06:00,380 --> 00:06:02,700
Don't "what" me, mate, you just
assaulted Jason!
112
00:06:02,740 --> 00:06:04,940
I'm not mate, I'm Kevin.
113
00:06:04,980 --> 00:06:08,980
Right. It's a figure of speech,
Kevin.
114
00:06:09,820 --> 00:06:12,860
Just go over there and cool off.
115
00:06:12,900 --> 00:06:14,380
Sir! This'll come off, yeah?
116
00:06:14,420 --> 00:06:18,380
He's fucking mad! Why's he written
"rat" on my head?
117
00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:21,060
Not going well, his interview,
is it? He's got "rat" on his head.
118
00:06:21,100 --> 00:06:23,180
He's mad! Why's he written "rat"?
119
00:06:23,220 --> 00:06:26,220
You are a rat.
Fuck off, mum's clothes!
120
00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:29,180
I don't wear my mum's clothes!
Come on then, you prick!
121
00:06:36,460 --> 00:06:37,700
How old is that kid?
122
00:06:37,740 --> 00:06:39,620
Yes or no?
I mean, they're challenging,
123
00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:41,620
but I think I can develop
some strategies.
124
00:06:41,660 --> 00:06:45,340
Do you want the job or not?
Well, let's talk pay.
125
00:06:45,380 --> 00:06:46,820
Classroom assistant, basic.
126
00:06:46,860 --> 00:06:48,580
Not a teaching role. Noise is fine,
127
00:06:48,620 --> 00:06:50,820
we're far enough away from the main
school building.
128
00:06:50,860 --> 00:06:53,860
And it'll be the same faces
that get sent here most days.
129
00:06:53,900 --> 00:06:56,380
Yeah...if I didn't know better,
130
00:06:56,420 --> 00:07:00,420
I'd say this place was a dumping
ground for the disruptive kids.
131
00:07:00,540 --> 00:07:04,020
It's almost... A bin?
132
00:07:04,060 --> 00:07:05,060
It's your call.
133
00:07:06,620 --> 00:07:10,620
Babies are expensive things,
aren't they?
134
00:07:12,620 --> 00:07:14,460
Mum's clothes!
135
00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:18,500
Come on, then! Who wants to fight
me? Come on, let's go...
136
00:07:19,060 --> 00:07:20,060
Go well?
137
00:07:21,740 --> 00:07:22,980
They're insane!
138
00:07:23,020 --> 00:07:24,500
I'm going to tell him to stick it!
139
00:07:25,780 --> 00:07:27,860
And go back to farming?
140
00:07:27,900 --> 00:07:30,340
Well, there's got to be another way.
141
00:07:30,380 --> 00:07:32,580
What other skills have you got?
142
00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:35,500
Didn't you say you could get four
digestives in your mouth?
143
00:07:35,540 --> 00:07:38,060
Five. Listen to me when I tell
you things.
144
00:07:40,340 --> 00:07:43,180
She's got it all worked out
already.
145
00:07:43,220 --> 00:07:46,180
She can live at her parents' house.
146
00:07:46,220 --> 00:07:48,780
I've got nothing to offer that baby
before it even arrives.
147
00:07:48,820 --> 00:07:50,700
Yeah, you have. What?
148
00:07:50,740 --> 00:07:52,700
Come on, use your brains!
149
00:07:52,740 --> 00:07:55,540
You remember what it's like to be a
kid, don't ya?
150
00:07:55,580 --> 00:07:57,180
What did you need?
151
00:08:02,740 --> 00:08:04,900
"I don't know what I'd do
without him!
152
00:08:04,940 --> 00:08:07,980
"He's my special, special friend!
153
00:08:08,020 --> 00:08:11,860
"I want to squeeze him so tight
until we both cry together
154
00:08:11,900 --> 00:08:13,540
"like best friends!"
155
00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:16,140
Is this your diary? You were
King of the Losers!
156
00:08:16,180 --> 00:08:17,180
Give me that!
157
00:08:23,980 --> 00:08:26,540
"Bear and I had a lovely day
in the park.
158
00:08:26,580 --> 00:08:30,220
"We held hands. It was so sunny
and lovely.
159
00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:33,900
"Don't think I'll ever forget".
160
00:08:33,940 --> 00:08:37,060
Oh, Bear! This ice cream
is so lovely!
161
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:39,620
Would you like some?
162
00:08:39,660 --> 00:08:42,340
You've got it all over your nose!
163
00:08:42,380 --> 00:08:46,380
You're my best friend! Oh...
164
00:08:46,820 --> 00:08:50,060
A bear?
165
00:08:50,100 --> 00:08:52,780
I don't remember.
166
00:08:52,820 --> 00:08:54,060
I don't remember!
167
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:56,020
MUSIC: Only You by
The Platters
168
00:08:56,060 --> 00:08:59,220
Only you...
169
00:08:59,260 --> 00:09:03,260
Can make this world seem right
170
00:09:05,820 --> 00:09:09,820
Only you...
171
00:09:10,860 --> 00:09:14,860
Can make the darkness bright
172
00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:21,500
Only you and you alone
173
00:09:23,900 --> 00:09:27,900
Can thrill me like you do
174
00:09:30,060 --> 00:09:31,380
? And fill... ?
175
00:09:44,100 --> 00:09:47,020
Brian! Look at all the stuff I got
for free!
176
00:09:47,060 --> 00:09:49,700
Jo, we need to talk. I can't believe
I never thought of it before!
177
00:09:49,740 --> 00:09:52,140
Why would you get a boring job
when you've got all this stuff
178
00:09:52,180 --> 00:09:53,500
just scattered around for free?
179
00:09:53,540 --> 00:09:55,740
I'll tell you why, because you're
not a fucking Womble.
180
00:09:55,780 --> 00:09:57,340
Why are you so angry?
181
00:09:57,380 --> 00:09:59,660
Shakira? I don't use money any more.
182
00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:01,620
What've you got for free? Fuck all.
183
00:10:01,660 --> 00:10:05,620
Well said. Come on, you must have
something that's going out of date.
184
00:10:05,660 --> 00:10:07,380
It's good for the environment?
185
00:10:07,420 --> 00:10:09,420
Whatever that means.
Jo, has it occurred to you,
186
00:10:09,460 --> 00:10:11,300
I might want my flat back soon?
187
00:10:11,340 --> 00:10:12,940
So my children can visit me?
188
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:14,420
That's all part of the strategy.
189
00:10:14,460 --> 00:10:16,900
Me and Mickey are trialling a free
food and drink technique
190
00:10:16,940 --> 00:10:20,340
this afternoon, and Mr Crumbs
is out bulb-scrumping as we speak.
191
00:10:20,380 --> 00:10:21,500
Bulb-scrumping?
192
00:10:21,540 --> 00:10:23,700
Bulb-scrumping. Bulb-scrumping?
193
00:10:23,740 --> 00:10:26,420
Mr Crumbs goes around unscrewing
light bulbs,
194
00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:28,780
creating what we call "Dark Town".
195
00:10:28,820 --> 00:10:31,500
Ultimately, we make a deal
with the council.
196
00:10:31,540 --> 00:10:34,180
We restore light, in exchange for
land.
197
00:10:34,220 --> 00:10:36,220
Bish bash bosh, you get your
flat back,
198
00:10:36,260 --> 00:10:37,980
we build a house out of old tyres.
199
00:10:38,020 --> 00:10:39,340
You're insane!
200
00:10:39,380 --> 00:10:42,180
Jo, you can't live in my flat for
free like some twisted Fagin,
201
00:10:42,220 --> 00:10:46,220
sending your street urchins out
to steal light bulbs!
202
00:10:51,060 --> 00:10:54,460
Listen to this. Oh, God...
203
00:10:54,500 --> 00:10:58,500
"Mum and dad were out, so Bear and
I played in my room all night".
204
00:11:03,100 --> 00:11:05,460
Oh, Bear, you won!
205
00:11:05,500 --> 00:11:08,140
"Me and Bear were so tired,
we snuggled in bed
206
00:11:08,180 --> 00:11:12,180
"and had nice kisses".
207
00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:15,900
I just came to say goodnight.
208
00:11:15,940 --> 00:11:17,940
Goodnight, Mummy.
209
00:11:17,980 --> 00:11:20,900
That better not be
who I think it is!
210
00:11:21,980 --> 00:11:23,780
You're too old for this, Daniel!
211
00:11:23,820 --> 00:11:27,780
You'll get bullied at school again
if they find out!
212
00:11:27,820 --> 00:11:31,820
But he's my friend!
213
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,420
Well? Well, what?
214
00:11:42,460 --> 00:11:45,500
Well, my only friend as a child was
a toy bear that
215
00:11:45,540 --> 00:11:48,260
I can't even remember. And?
216
00:11:48,300 --> 00:11:49,780
And?
217
00:11:49,820 --> 00:11:52,140
It stands to reason that my child
might be a
218
00:11:52,180 --> 00:11:55,940
no-friends loser too, so... So?
219
00:11:55,980 --> 00:11:58,900
So, I'm going to have to find that
bear, aren't I?
220
00:11:58,940 --> 00:12:02,940
Pass him down to my child!
As a matter of urgency. Thank you!
221
00:12:03,100 --> 00:12:04,940
That's the conclusion you've
reached?
222
00:12:04,980 --> 00:12:08,220
Yes! A friend for life.
223
00:12:08,260 --> 00:12:10,260
The friend that saved his dad's
life.
224
00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:12,860
My God, you always were a deluded
idiot.
225
00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:15,740
You can read it for yourself,
you '70s catalogue model!
226
00:12:15,780 --> 00:12:19,540
Grow up! Both of you, grow up!
227
00:12:19,580 --> 00:12:20,900
Brian?
228
00:12:20,940 --> 00:12:22,340
What's wrong with him?
229
00:12:22,380 --> 00:12:25,060
He needs a fuck.
230
00:12:25,100 --> 00:12:29,100
A good, hard fuck.
231
00:12:29,620 --> 00:12:31,860
How is Bob? He's left me.
232
00:12:31,900 --> 00:12:35,780
He's got a part in "Star Wars".
233
00:12:35,820 --> 00:12:37,800
Amazing!
234
00:12:46,220 --> 00:12:47,860
Oi!
235
00:12:47,900 --> 00:12:49,460
What's so urgent, Daniel?
236
00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:53,180
Nesta and I are going to a cheese
and wine at Cath Price's chalet.
237
00:12:53,220 --> 00:12:56,700
Oh, why didn't you say?
I would've arranged a police escort!
238
00:12:56,740 --> 00:12:58,300
Why are you in a judo outfit?
239
00:12:58,340 --> 00:13:01,140
Well, every do we attend,
240
00:13:01,180 --> 00:13:04,980
Jeanie Edwards copies what I wear,
241
00:13:05,020 --> 00:13:07,020
so I'm giving her something to think
about.
242
00:13:07,060 --> 00:13:10,300
My God. Certainly puts the conflict
in the Middle East into perspective.
243
00:13:10,340 --> 00:13:11,980
If we don't get there early,
244
00:13:12,020 --> 00:13:14,900
Christine Kenyon will have gobbled
all the blue cheese.
245
00:13:14,940 --> 00:13:17,460
What do you want? I want my bear!
246
00:13:17,500 --> 00:13:18,780
No, you don't. Yes, I do.
247
00:13:18,820 --> 00:13:21,580
I don't even remember having a bear,
but he was obviously important,
248
00:13:21,620 --> 00:13:23,540
so I want it!
You had all sorts of silly toys.
249
00:13:23,580 --> 00:13:25,380
You were a spoiled little puffer
fish.
250
00:13:25,420 --> 00:13:27,340
Good. Where are they?
251
00:13:27,380 --> 00:13:30,540
You shouldn't be playing with toys,
Daniel, you're a big boy!
252
00:13:30,580 --> 00:13:33,500
I don't want to play with them,
you mummified clown!
253
00:13:33,540 --> 00:13:34,580
Where are they?
254
00:13:34,620 --> 00:13:36,060
Paulie!
255
00:13:36,100 --> 00:13:37,220
Nesta will be cross.
256
00:13:37,260 --> 00:13:39,620
She used to tell me off when she
came to stay.
257
00:13:39,660 --> 00:13:43,500
What? Why?
258
00:13:43,540 --> 00:13:45,740
Oh, Bear, look at you!
You've got it all over you!
259
00:13:45,780 --> 00:13:46,820
Boop!
260
00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:50,300
Honestly, he's been much better
recently, Nesta!
261
00:13:50,340 --> 00:13:53,540
So, let me see the boy, Paulie!
262
00:13:53,580 --> 00:13:57,540
I knew it! You are ten years of age,
Daniel.
263
00:13:57,580 --> 00:13:58,740
It isn't right.
264
00:13:58,780 --> 00:14:00,700
Do you want people to think that
you're odd?
265
00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:03,100
No!
266
00:14:03,140 --> 00:14:04,940
No! Bear!
267
00:14:06,100 --> 00:14:08,100
Bear!
268
00:14:08,140 --> 00:14:10,580
Bear!
269
00:14:10,620 --> 00:14:12,580
I do remember!
270
00:14:12,620 --> 00:14:14,740
But why was Nesta cross?
271
00:14:14,780 --> 00:14:16,980
Paulie, what are you playing at?
272
00:14:17,020 --> 00:14:20,420
Kenyon's just gobbled up the best
part of a wheel of Roquefort.
273
00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:22,260
Daniel's looking for his toys.
274
00:14:22,300 --> 00:14:24,420
He wants Bear.
275
00:14:24,460 --> 00:14:27,580
I knew this would happen.
Never mind about the past, Daniel.
276
00:14:27,620 --> 00:14:29,940
Concentrate on being a strong
father.
277
00:14:29,980 --> 00:14:31,820
Where are they? Where are my toys?!
278
00:14:31,860 --> 00:14:35,260
I gave your toys to the children's
ward at the hospital.
279
00:14:35,300 --> 00:14:37,740
Oh, Paulie, will you never
learn? Right!
280
00:14:37,780 --> 00:14:41,020
But, Daniel...about the bear...
281
00:14:41,060 --> 00:14:45,060
Oh, Daniel.
282
00:14:46,940 --> 00:14:48,180
Pretty delicious, eh, Mick?
283
00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:50,580
One pint of blood, two free
biscuits and a cup of tea.
284
00:14:50,620 --> 00:14:54,620
Bosh! So much for Brian's theory.
285
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:02,540
I don't mean you should double drop,
Mick.
286
00:15:02,580 --> 00:15:05,380
You can't handle it,
you haven't got enough blood.
287
00:15:05,420 --> 00:15:09,420
On your head be it.
288
00:15:11,940 --> 00:15:13,620
Oh, hello.
289
00:15:13,660 --> 00:15:16,100
Come to give blood?
We most certainly have.
290
00:15:16,140 --> 00:15:20,140
OK, well, come on in, take a seat.
291
00:15:23,580 --> 00:15:27,580
MUSIC: Wichita Lineman
by Glen Campbell
292
00:15:32,340 --> 00:15:36,340
? I am a lineman for the county... ?
293
00:15:38,740 --> 00:15:42,740
How did we end up here, eh,
young man?
294
00:15:43,460 --> 00:15:47,460
Searchin' in the sun for another
overload
295
00:15:52,540 --> 00:15:56,540
? I hear you singin'
in the wire... ?
296
00:15:57,060 --> 00:15:58,500
Hello?
297
00:15:58,540 --> 00:16:00,620
It's me.
298
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:03,740
Yeah, I was expecting to be at work
today.
299
00:16:03,780 --> 00:16:07,780
But I don't have that much on,
and...I could use some time,
300
00:16:08,020 --> 00:16:10,540
a couple of hours.
301
00:16:10,580 --> 00:16:14,580
No, I know we said not today, it's
just, I could really do...
302
00:16:16,060 --> 00:16:18,460
Yeah.
303
00:16:18,500 --> 00:16:21,540
That's great. Just great.
304
00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:25,580
Yeah...only a couple of hours,
I promise.
305
00:16:27,140 --> 00:16:31,140
And I want you for all time
306
00:16:32,980 --> 00:16:36,980
? And the Wichita lineman... ?
307
00:17:03,380 --> 00:17:06,260
What are you doing?
308
00:17:06,300 --> 00:17:08,220
Oh, hello!
309
00:17:08,260 --> 00:17:10,180
You're too big to play with toys.
310
00:17:10,220 --> 00:17:13,340
Oh, you're never too big to play
with toys.
311
00:17:13,380 --> 00:17:15,780
You are! You're too big!
312
00:17:15,820 --> 00:17:17,780
Toys are for poorly boys and girls.
313
00:17:17,820 --> 00:17:20,500
Right. Well, we're all poorly in
our own way, kid.
314
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:23,140
Do one.
315
00:17:23,180 --> 00:17:25,540
Rabbit wants to know why you haven't
said hello.
316
00:17:25,580 --> 00:17:27,100
Because I'm not insane, kid.
317
00:17:27,140 --> 00:17:29,500
Get lost! I'm trying to find a
bear here.
318
00:17:29,540 --> 00:17:30,900
There's no bear anywhere!
319
00:17:30,940 --> 00:17:34,220
Rabbit says he might know where
there's other toys.
320
00:17:34,260 --> 00:17:35,740
Good, where?
321
00:17:35,780 --> 00:17:37,420
You have to ask Rabbit.
322
00:17:37,460 --> 00:17:39,060
Where are the toys?
323
00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:40,980
Rude.
324
00:17:41,020 --> 00:17:42,620
Excuse me, Rabbit.
325
00:17:42,660 --> 00:17:46,660
Where are the other toys, please?
326
00:17:53,180 --> 00:17:55,740
Oh, my God.
327
00:17:55,780 --> 00:17:57,780
He says, "Follow us".
328
00:17:57,820 --> 00:17:59,820
At last!
329
00:17:59,860 --> 00:18:02,180
Rabbit says, "Don't be so
impatient."
330
00:18:02,220 --> 00:18:06,220
I'm this close, kid.
331
00:18:06,820 --> 00:18:07,900
Not long now, Mick!
332
00:18:07,940 --> 00:18:09,700
Yum-yum, biscuit time!
333
00:18:09,740 --> 00:18:10,900
In your face, Brian!
334
00:18:10,940 --> 00:18:13,980
Who said there's no such thing as
free food?
335
00:18:14,020 --> 00:18:18,020
Mick? Mickey?! Nurse!
336
00:18:22,940 --> 00:18:26,900
Hello? Jo, calm down!
337
00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:28,900
Well, what's wrong with him?
338
00:18:28,940 --> 00:18:31,700
I'm going somewhere.
339
00:18:31,740 --> 00:18:35,740
He's not going to die, Jo.
340
00:18:36,460 --> 00:18:37,900
All right, all right!
341
00:18:37,940 --> 00:18:40,340
I'll come over.
342
00:18:40,380 --> 00:18:44,380
God! Can there be no release?!
343
00:18:44,620 --> 00:18:48,620
The ladies put them in there when
they come in.
344
00:18:54,540 --> 00:18:58,460
What? Rabbit wants to know what we
get for showing you where they are.
345
00:18:58,500 --> 00:19:02,500
The knowledge that you have got my
baby a special friend.
346
00:19:02,620 --> 00:19:06,220
Oh... Rabbit says he wants 100 quid.
347
00:19:06,260 --> 00:19:08,580
What?! 100...?
348
00:19:08,620 --> 00:19:11,380
You want to choose your special
friends a little more carefully!
349
00:19:11,420 --> 00:19:13,500
Bear would never try a cheap trick
like that.
350
00:19:13,540 --> 00:19:17,540
You and Rabbit should be ashamed of
yourselves!
351
00:19:19,340 --> 00:19:22,900
Ah, he's stealing the toys!
He's stealing the toys!
352
00:19:22,940 --> 00:19:24,900
You bitch!
353
00:19:28,060 --> 00:19:30,180
Oi, stop!
354
00:19:30,220 --> 00:19:31,980
What's going on? Oh...
355
00:19:32,020 --> 00:19:33,380
It's Mickey, don't worry.
356
00:19:33,420 --> 00:19:35,620
He's going to be fine,
he's just given too much blood.
357
00:19:35,660 --> 00:19:37,860
He double dropped for another
biscuit.
358
00:19:37,900 --> 00:19:39,500
Is that what you've been doing?
359
00:19:39,540 --> 00:19:42,900
Jo, this free-gan thing is madness,
for God's sake!
360
00:19:42,940 --> 00:19:45,420
I'm sorry for calling you, Brian,
but I was frightened.
361
00:19:45,460 --> 00:19:47,860
I've spent my whole life dealing
with your bullshit.
362
00:19:47,900 --> 00:19:51,180
Either you or that idiot are getting
in my way all the bloody time!
363
00:19:51,220 --> 00:19:53,980
They're my toys! Oi! Dan?
364
00:19:54,020 --> 00:19:57,500
Oi, stop!
365
00:20:03,300 --> 00:20:05,460
Oh, God! He's not here!
366
00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:07,260
The bear's not here!
367
00:20:07,300 --> 00:20:09,700
Oh, Dan. Jesus.
368
00:20:09,740 --> 00:20:13,140
Bear! Where are you, Bear?
369
00:20:16,540 --> 00:20:18,540
Dad? Where have you been, Dan?
370
00:20:18,580 --> 00:20:20,540
Her waters have broken!
371
00:20:20,580 --> 00:20:23,060
I've been looking for Bear! What?
372
00:20:23,100 --> 00:20:25,620
I went to the hospital to have Bear,
but he's not here!
373
00:20:25,660 --> 00:20:27,540
Bear! Where are you, Bear?!
374
00:20:27,580 --> 00:20:30,740
Dan! Emma is about to give birth,
pull yourself together!
375
00:20:30,780 --> 00:20:32,540
Bear!
I need to get onto labour ward.
376
00:20:32,580 --> 00:20:34,460
Yeah. It's all I had to give!
377
00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:36,020
Bear's all I've got to give!
378
00:20:36,060 --> 00:20:38,540
She's in pain, you stupid man!
379
00:20:38,580 --> 00:20:40,300
Dan! I'm useless!
380
00:20:40,340 --> 00:20:43,420
Our son will be too without his
special friend! Daniel!
381
00:20:43,460 --> 00:20:46,060
Ow, it really hurts! Bear! Dan!
382
00:20:47,220 --> 00:20:48,700
Dan! Bear! Oh, Mummy, it hurts!
383
00:20:48,740 --> 00:20:50,500
Bear! Bear!
384
00:20:50,540 --> 00:20:52,260
Bear! Dan!
385
00:20:52,300 --> 00:20:53,860
Bear!
386
00:20:53,900 --> 00:20:57,740
Dan, for God's sake!
387
00:20:57,780 --> 00:21:00,580
I was Bear!
388
00:21:02,020 --> 00:21:04,540
Bear and I had a lovely day in
the park.
389
00:21:04,580 --> 00:21:07,780
We held hands...so sunny and lovely.
390
00:21:07,820 --> 00:21:11,500
Oh, Bear! This ice cream's so
lovely, would you like a lick?
391
00:21:11,540 --> 00:21:13,300
Oh! Bear! No!
392
00:21:13,340 --> 00:21:17,100
You've got it all over your nose!
393
00:21:17,140 --> 00:21:18,540
You're my best friend!
394
00:21:18,580 --> 00:21:19,700
Bear!
395
00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:23,020
Oh, God! Oh, God!
396
00:21:23,060 --> 00:21:27,060
Mum and Dad were out, so Bear and
I played in my room all night.
397
00:21:27,300 --> 00:21:29,340
Oh, Bear, you won!
398
00:21:29,380 --> 00:21:33,140
Me and Bear were so tired, we
snuggled in bed and had nice kisses.
399
00:21:33,180 --> 00:21:35,660
No! No!
400
00:21:43,580 --> 00:21:46,420
That better not be who I think
it is!
401
00:21:48,620 --> 00:21:51,020
Oh, Bear! Look at you, you've got
it all over you!
402
00:21:55,620 --> 00:21:56,700
Oh!
403
00:22:03,020 --> 00:22:05,340
I knew it! Bear!
404
00:22:05,380 --> 00:22:08,020
No! Bear!
405
00:22:08,060 --> 00:22:12,060
Bear!
406
00:22:18,380 --> 00:22:21,140
Get that woman in here, now!
407
00:22:21,180 --> 00:22:22,620
Are you the father?
408
00:22:22,660 --> 00:22:25,540
Come on, then!
409
00:22:25,580 --> 00:22:26,580
Breathe.
410
00:22:32,100 --> 00:22:34,500
Go on.
411
00:22:34,540 --> 00:22:37,100
We're OK, yeah? Yep!
412
00:22:37,140 --> 00:22:40,460
No, it's just that I...
Just go and meet your child.
413
00:22:40,500 --> 00:22:42,020
Yeah.
414
00:22:42,060 --> 00:22:44,900
We'll talk about it later. No need.
415
00:22:44,940 --> 00:22:48,940
But we're cool? Yep!
416
00:22:49,220 --> 00:22:53,220
MUSIC: The Teddy Bears' Picnic
by Henry Hall
417
00:22:54,260 --> 00:22:56,940
If you go down in the woods today
418
00:22:56,980 --> 00:22:59,500
You're sure of a big surprise
419
00:22:59,540 --> 00:23:02,140
If you go down in the woods today
420
00:23:02,180 --> 00:23:04,740
You'd better go in disguise!
421
00:23:04,780 --> 00:23:07,380
For every bear that ever there was
422
00:23:07,420 --> 00:23:10,060
Will gather there for certain
because
423
00:23:10,100 --> 00:23:14,100
Today's the day the teddy bears
have their picnic
424
00:23:16,620 --> 00:23:20,620
? Today's the day the teddy bears
have their picnic. ?
425
00:23:20,670 --> 00:23:25,220
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