All language subtitles for Man Down s03e04 The Visa.eng

I guess I've always felt too big
for this country.

Know what I mean?
Like a mighty, mighty caged eagle.

Think I can put that on there?

Dad says you have to fill your own visa
application out to teach you a lesson.

Well, you tell your dad
from me that I don't need his help,

and that his moustache makes him
look like a gay man from the 1970s.

He says... I heard, Daisy.

How long is it going to go on,
this childishness?

Please remind Uncle Dan that last
week emergency services had to be

called out to cut me
from a child's swing because of him.

Luckily the firemen
were medically trained

so were able to treat my
monkey bites at the same time.

The one degree of separation rule
is there for a reason.

Can you say it all again?
Just sit down, Daisy.

Hi, girls. Hi, Jo! Half ten?

New promotion for the shop.

Loyalty cards. When you buy
a hammer, you get a stamp.

When you've got eight hammers,
you get a free hammer.

Is anyone going to need eight
hammers?

Yes, they're really bad quality.
That's my genius.

God.

Maybe Jo should give up on a shop
and follow a girl out to America

without even securing a job first.

Told her you're coming yet?
Thought not.

You're petrified to
because that would make it real.

Oh, hello. Someone forgot his own
rule and spoke to me directly.

Your inconsistency is delicious.
Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom!

Look at your old man, girls,
gobbling up his forgetful pie.

You're silly. Shut up, chimp.

Me and Mickey are having
an executive meeting if you fancy.

No, I've got to do this. Brian?

Sorry, I've got the girls all week

and we're off to play squash,
aren't we?

Oh, will the girls be playing squash

or will they just be watching Dad
again?

Good luck with your form filling.
Come on, girls.

You boys need to make up.

My aunt didn't speak to my Uncle Ted
for seven years.

He was too stubborn to ask what was
wrong. Turns out she was dead.

Had been all along.

Stank. Right. I'll see you later.

You'll miss me when I go to America,
won't you, Shakira?

This is my normal face.

This is the face I'll have when
I find out your plane's crashed.

It's the same face. Yeah.

What the f...

Hello, dear. You need a new razor.

Had to have a go at the pins
and some of their hairs down there

were like the mooring ropes
on the Titanic.

Well, best make yourself scarce.

I'm about to drop gown

and I don't think you're quite ready
for this jelly.

Why do I have to share my flat
with my auntie? Am I Charlie Bucket?

Nesta and Daddy had a chat and
they thought it would be nice for us

to have a little privacy.

He's moving in already?

I thought you'd be pleased for me.

Oh, I'm delighted my mum's shacking
up with a fun-sized Peter Sutcliffe.

You'll only have to share with Nesta
for a few weeks

before you've gone to America.

I like Nesta but she snores
like a goblin farting down a well.

I don't want to speak out of turn

but wasn't the flat originally
left to Nesta?

It's none of your business,
you sinister little shit. Daniel!

Oh, Polly, I know why he's so upset.

He thinks I want to
step into his dad's shoes.

Those are my dad's shoes!
I gave them him, Daniel.

He was weeding my borders.

He's trying to get rid of me
before I go to America.

You can't see it cos you're too
busy dragging your arse

across a carpet in front of him like
a baffled labrador. It's disgusting.

Oh, now, Daniel.
I propose we do top and tail.

I sometimes forget
that Bertie is dead

and I can get quite...hands-on.

You listen to me,
you crumpled trolls.

If I have to share my flat
before I go to America,

I leave this house today and I take
every single thing I own with me.

What, this is it?
I'm afraid so, dear.

All I've got to show for 45 years?
A little blue chair?

Daniel, we don't want you to go.
No, no, he's won.

I hope you're happy.

Imagining you're only son
spending his remaining time

in this country in the back
of a 1980s Honda.

Oh, dear,
this is a terrible oversight.

This is still in your dad's name.

You've been driving illegally
for years, I'm afraid.

It's not your car. Fine!
Oh, Daniel, don't be silly.

You can take the car. No, no.
I only want what's mine.

Well, if you're going to be stupid
about it, that's your father's coat.

Daniel, you can have the coat!

Oh, dear.
I do worry about that lad.

I mean, culturally, it just makes
sense for me as a move.

I love the place.

Even when I was at primary school,
my mum used to address me

as Boss Hogg from Dukes Of Hazzard,
which...

..unsurprisingly, on reflection,
led to prolific bullying.

Do you have the form? Oh, yeah,
sorry. Sure I'll be fine, though.

I know you love us over there.

If I get in trouble, I'll just do
the old Hugh Grant.

The old...bee-bee-bee-bee.

"I think I love you."
You love all that, don't you?

What I love is a fully completed
visa application.

Yeah, I'm struggling a little bit.

I normally have a friend
who helps me

with the boring stuff but
he's one degree of separated me.

This does not even have
a home address.

Oh, I'm having a nightmare.

I've been kicked out of my house
because...

My mom's banging Chucky's grandad.

Sir, it is of no interest to me
your family matters,

or indeed why you walk around
with a little blue chair.

What I need is a completed form.

Come on, mate. Cut me some slack.
I'm safe as houses.

I haven't even had a look
at a Qur'an. Complete the damn form.

Oh, my God. This is mental. Marital
status? What the hell is that?

This may as well be in Chinese.
I filled out section 8, you clown.

I don't want your help with this.

I need somewhere to stay
for a couple of days.

I'm sleeping
in the storage cupboard.

Micky's bags are
the only available space.

Micky! I told you,
I can't have my mannequins asleep.

Now you're up,
go down to Dave Tubbard's lockup.

Got some interesting new stock,
apparently.

Have the sleeping bag. I can't shift
it. It's got holes at both ends.

What? I'll stay in a hotel.

My wallet. Shit.

Time to move on, Polly, love.

Yes, I suppose there's no point
being sentimental.

They belong to your husband.
Just feels a bit odd for me.

Yes, of course.

Let's have a brew, shall we?
Good idea.

Oh! I'll put the kettle on.

Mr Davies! Oh, God, sorry.
No, I thought it was half term.

It is half term.
It's holiday drama club, sir.

So you're teaching
in your spare time?

And you're all coming in?

It enhances our curriculum-based
work and helps us

further bond with our teachers.

Who's he? It's me, Robin!

Why don't you go in, lads?

You're teaching in your holidays.
It's weird.

Well, maybe if you did a drama club,

the head wouldn't think
you were so rubbish.

Yeah. You've picked up on that,
have you?

Well, he just said it. He said,
'You're taking over from Dan Davies.

'He's rubbish.

'And a dick.' What? Huh?
You don't have to be here.

Well, my boys are with their dad all
week, so what else am I going to do?

But I'd love to get tractored
tonight

if I could find a drinking partner.

Are you here tomorrow? Yes. Why? No
reason. I'm not trying to live here.

Calm down.

Don't forget your little blue chair.

I won't!

And that last move I did on Hank
is called a crosscourt dash.

60% knees, 40% confidence.

You can talk about it in show and
tell next week if you like. Oh, God.

You can drop that look,
Captain Smugwash.

I just need somewhere to stay
for a couple of days.

Mum's being blinded by a sex fog
and they've kicked me out.

He can have my bed. Or mine.

Dan isn't sleeping on anyone's
bed, nor indeed my new sofa

until I receive a full apology.

I need a permanent address.

For the visa form you don't
need my help with? Come on, girls.

What's a tax code?
What does naturalisation mean?

It's not funny, you losers.
Tell your dad to let me stay!

Cancel your gym membership
while you're here.

Next time you're homeless,
you might be able to afford a hotel!

Yeah. Oh!

Well done, Lester.

Oh, God.

What's this? It's a...

It's my exercise tube.
That's not a sleeping bag?

Well, what's this?
Little blue chair.

I just use it to chill out on
after I've done a workout, so...

Are trying to sleep in the gym,
mate? No! Yeah, you are.

You're trying to sleep in the gym.
You can't sleep here.

I'm not trying to live in the gym.
Live?! Live, sleep. Whatever.

I'm just a member. I'm just...

Hoo. Ooh.

Where's your gym kit?
No-one wears gym kit any more, mate.

It is not 1990.
I'm not Monica from Friends.

I exist. I gym.
There's no distinction.

If you're in the gym,

you use the facilities at all times.
Do you understand? Yeah!

We exercise in the gym, mate.
We don't live in the gym.

We don't live in the gym. Yeah.

OK, you lovely people.
Let's box till midnight, yeah?!

Left, left.

Right, right.

Left, left.

Come on! Push it!

Harder!

Come on!

Let's fucking have it!

Look, go into your email
and search for HMRC in your inbox

and there'll be something in there
with your tax code on it

and you'll know it's your tax code
because it will say tax code on it.

And what on earth have you done
to your face? You look like ham.

Never mind that. Listen, I also need
to know... Hang on.

Dan, look, I'm not your PA.
I'm your...

Well... Why do you need all this
information, anyway?

I can't tell you
that from inside a sleeping bag.

I want to do it properly.
Do what properly?

Dan, look, I can't be doing with
these mysterious phone

calls in the middle of the night.

I feel like shit. Look...

I just... I've got to go. Dan?

Hey, I'm on a private phone call
here, mate.

People are waiting to use this
machine.

Tell them to get their own machines.
They're all busy.

Who are these people? It's midnight.
Feel the burn or hit the bricks.

What's it to be?

Yeah, I'll feel the burn.
I'm burning all night.

I'll burn all fucking night, mate.

It looks sore.

It is sore.

There's a lot of information
missing here.

I sort of figured
if I don't understand it,

I probably don't have it.

Like a tax code.

Not applicable. You have a tax code,
sir. And this address... Yep?

This is your new address? Yep, yes.

The 24-Hour Pump Zone? Yes.

The 24-Hour Pump Zone?

Houses have names, mate.

Fucking hell, mate. Prince William
wouldn't get this, would he?

You'd teabag anyone with their own
coat of arms, you lot.

Teabag?
You know.

Go back to your pump zone.
Do it again.

Mate, please don't make me go...
home for another night.

That's it, Alice. Well done, love!

And you, you fat fucker! Move it!

Hey, fella!

Maybe you shouldn't have tried to
keep up with Mad Mike. Hey!?

I didn't pick it. It just bled.

You. Use the facilities or get out.
Please. Zumba or street now.

I was just taking five minutes
to fill this form out

while I was resting in betw...
Dad.

Hello.
Glad I've bumped into you, actually.

Am I a specialist occupation or
a skilled worker? First one. Why?

Excuse us, Miss. He has a class.
I'm using the facilities.

He thinks I'm trying to live here.
He is. He's trying to live here.

Do you need a place to stay? No, I'm
just here to using the facilities.

You're...what?

Excuse us. The spa counts as one
of the facilities, right?

Well. She has a point, doesn't she?

You beautiful sculpture of a man.
Come on, Dad.

Let's get that place sorted.

I am worth it.

The shipping
forecast issued by the Met Office

at 0730...

Dad, can Uncle Dan come to stay now?

Uncle Dan owes me a formal apology,

which I doubt will be forthcoming,
so no.

It's fun hanging out
with him and Jo.

Depends on your definition of fun.

I like it when Uncle Dan says rude
words. The prosecution rests.

Now, could you pass me the resin?
I'm going to erect the mast.

Girls... We made him a den!

They're clean, mate! They're clean!

Do you mind?

Sorry?

Oh, no, this is my chair.

Well, you have to give up
your seat for pensioners.

You're not listening. The chair
belongs to me. It's my chair.

Give the lady the seat!

You don't understand. It's not a bus
seat. It's my little chair.

Show a bit of respect!

What's wrong with his eyebrows?

I hate him! He's got a rash!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
Let's be clear.

If it's a bus seat,
I have to give it up. But it's not.

It's my little chair.

In fact, it's all I own,
so with the greatest of respect,

I'll be fucked if I'm going to give
up my legacy

to some old lady
to have a lazy cruise to the bingo.

I'll give you a bloody legacy, mate.

Hey!

Nice eyebrows!

Oh, fuck off.

You what?

All good? Pft. Ah, but...
The form. All good?

It has a lot of writing on it.
All the pages are there.

However,
it clearly indicates it must be

witnessed by a person in a position
of responsibility.

It isn't.

Not a problem.

Jo, it's me. Yeah. Listen, I need
you to do me a favour.

Can you come down to the American
visa place in town? Yeah, now. What?

Yes, there are lots of Americans
here. What are you on about? Right.

Yes, good, hurry up.

I got your message, Mrs D. Brian.
Have you seen Daniel?

No, I'm afraid not. We're not
really on the best of terms.

I was sure he'd be staying with you.
I've got him some pants.

I'm sure he'll be fine.
He hasn't even got a coat.

- Let's go for a little drive, see if
we can track him down. - Yay!

Come on.

Wow. It is buzzing here.
Alright, Dan? Been to a party?

What's all this shit? And what's
Mickey doing here? No offence, mate.

I'm Vicki Bigg, Dan, bringing
the mountain to Muhammad.

Shh! You can't say that round here.

Just sign this for me.
Can I put retail magnet?

No. Put shop owner, and don't
mention the name of the shop.

Cheers.

Right. Let's do a test, see if we've
got any real Americans. Nickelback!

Oh, my God. We've hit the fucking
motherlode. Quick. Put the sign up!

Happy? Happy is a bit extreme.

We're going to have to
retake your passport photos. Why?

Because you don't look like this
anymore. Please?

What do you want from me?
I've got nothing left.

I haven't even got my little blue
chair anymore.

Sir, I will have to get these
ratified.

That's it!

I'm finished.

I can't go now!

I'm finished!

Fine. Fine! Cut it out.
I'll take care of it. Goddammit.

How in the hell did you people
ever have an empire?

Have Mr Kreeler come through,
please.

Yeeha, partners.

It's the American sale.
Home from home.

We've got Beefy Lee wrestling goals,
cos wrestling is American.

McDonald's apple pies
only just out of date,

and top of the list, A number one,
we've got American flags.

Pass it to them, Mickey.

Careful, Mickey.

Yes? MAN: There is
an incident outside, sir. What?

Turn on your CCTV.

Is this your witness?

Oh, fuck!

Oh, fuck.

Oh, my God.

Put it out! Put it out! Calm down!

I didn't mean it!
It was an accident!

Daniel?

We didn't mean it.
It was an accident.

Your birth certificate must be
here somewhere.

I'm surprised they still agreed to
see you after all that palaver.

Brian plays squash with
one of the big bosses,

so he went in and smoothed it all
over. Oh, Daniel.

How ever are you going to
cope in America?

I've read that one in three
people get shot.

Not to mention the portions.
I'll be fine. I'll be with Emma.

You have told her, haven't you?
No. I will.

Thought it might be a nice surprise.
Tell her.

You should definitely tell her.

Modern ladies like some notice
so they can trim their pampers.

Nesta's moving back into the main
house for now.

I've told Daddy he'll just have to
be quieter for a few weeks.

Yes, thank you, Mum.

What's this? That's nothing to do
with you. It's got my name on it.

Oh. Polly, I thought you got
rid of that.

Adoption certificate?

Mum?

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