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1
00:00:06,416 --> 00:00:10,147
What is this bill,
$200 for Pronto Video Repair?
2
00:00:10,220 --> 00:00:12,211
It's from when your sister
borrowed my VCR...
3
00:00:12,289 --> 00:00:15,520
- Speaking of which...
- Just write it off. Next.
4
00:00:15,592 --> 00:00:17,958
All right, now, about this one,
I'm absolutely certain...
5
00:00:18,028 --> 00:00:20,758
we can't deduct dinner
at Empire Szechuan.
6
00:00:20,831 --> 00:00:23,356
- Why not? We discussed work.
- We didn't discuss work.
7
00:00:23,433 --> 00:00:26,095
We discussed my mother.
Remember, we got very heated,
8
00:00:26,169 --> 00:00:28,399
and they asked us to leave?
9
00:00:28,472 --> 00:00:31,908
- You don't recall this?
- It's a legitimate deduction.
10
00:00:31,975 --> 00:00:34,341
- How?
- If I hadn't gotten this off my chest,
11
00:00:34,411 --> 00:00:36,402
I would've been stressed out
the next day at work.
12
00:00:36,480 --> 00:00:38,277
I wouldn't have
been able to perform.
13
00:00:38,348 --> 00:00:40,714
I would've cost the company money.
I could've gotten fired,
14
00:00:40,784 --> 00:00:43,912
gone on unemployment and cost
the government thousands of dollars.
15
00:00:45,122 --> 00:00:47,090
All right, I'll give it to you.
16
00:00:59,703 --> 00:01:02,001
Tell me why
17
00:01:02,072 --> 00:01:03,471
I love you like I do
18
00:01:03,540 --> 00:01:05,531
Tell me who
19
00:01:05,609 --> 00:01:07,907
Can start my heart as much as you
20
00:01:07,978 --> 00:01:09,946
Let's take each other's hand
21
00:01:10,013 --> 00:01:13,744
As we jump intothe final frontier
22
00:01:13,817 --> 00:01:16,581
I'm mad about you, baby
23
00:01:16,653 --> 00:01:18,848
Yeah
24
00:01:18,922 --> 00:01:20,583
I'm mad about you
25
00:01:42,813 --> 00:01:45,304
I look like Auntie Mame.
26
00:01:45,382 --> 00:01:48,317
- What time is he picking you up?
- We're meeting there at 8:00.
27
00:01:48,385 --> 00:01:50,250
I have a really good feeling
about this guy.
28
00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:53,118
Maybe it'll last
all the way through intermission.
29
00:01:53,190 --> 00:01:55,351
Would you stop?
30
00:01:55,425 --> 00:01:57,416
I'm sorry Murray, buddy,
but it is my business,
31
00:01:57,494 --> 00:02:00,088
because what you did
makes you look very bad.
32
00:02:00,163 --> 00:02:01,926
See, when you look bad,
I look bad.
33
00:02:01,999 --> 00:02:05,366
- What'd he do?
- He knows what he did.
34
00:02:05,435 --> 00:02:08,131
- He's a dog.
- He can't keep using that as an excuse.
35
00:02:08,205 --> 00:02:10,969
What do you think?
36
00:02:11,041 --> 00:02:12,975
- I found another tax receipt.
- What for?
37
00:02:13,043 --> 00:02:15,477
For something deductible
if it kills me.
38
00:02:15,545 --> 00:02:17,638
Now this would look
great on you.
39
00:02:17,714 --> 00:02:19,648
- You think?
- Yes, tell her.
40
00:02:19,716 --> 00:02:21,843
- No, you're right. It's too much.
- Not necessarily.
41
00:02:21,918 --> 00:02:24,284
I'm telling you,
we're going for a look here.
42
00:02:24,354 --> 00:02:29,155
Sexy, but not slutty.
Interested, but not desperate.
43
00:02:29,226 --> 00:02:31,660
- The Madonna/whore thing.
- Exactly.
44
00:02:31,728 --> 00:02:34,253
- Hey, don't knock desperate and slutty.
- She's tried it.
45
00:02:34,331 --> 00:02:38,233
- Oh, yeah.
- But, this guy may be different.
46
00:02:38,301 --> 00:02:40,269
He's taking her to the Ice Capades.
47
00:02:40,337 --> 00:02:42,202
Which guy is it?
Is this the Cajun guy?
48
00:02:42,272 --> 00:02:44,797
- He wasn't Cajun.
- I thought he was Cajun.
49
00:02:44,875 --> 00:02:46,137
He lied.
50
00:02:47,711 --> 00:02:50,373
This is a new one.
She met him at the boat show.
51
00:02:50,447 --> 00:02:52,608
- What were you doing at the boat show?
- Working.
52
00:02:52,683 --> 00:02:57,017
- Doing what?
- Pointing at boats.
53
00:02:58,588 --> 00:03:02,991
- He noticed her right away.
- Wait a second. This guy owns a boat?
54
00:03:03,060 --> 00:03:05,494
- I like this one.
- I think it's a little too much.
55
00:03:05,562 --> 00:03:07,496
- You wear it.
- That's different.
56
00:03:07,564 --> 00:03:10,328
- How is that different?
- I'm talking to my sister here.
57
00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:13,836
I like it. If I'm going to err,
I'd rather err towards slutty.
58
00:03:13,904 --> 00:03:15,462
Good for you.
59
00:03:15,539 --> 00:03:17,871
Please, promise me you won't
sleep with him on the first date.
60
00:03:17,941 --> 00:03:21,308
- Oh, I won't.
- Yes, you will. You always do.
61
00:03:23,313 --> 00:03:25,304
I can't help it.
62
00:03:28,018 --> 00:03:29,713
You know what they say...
What is that expression?
63
00:03:29,786 --> 00:03:31,777
- What expression?
- You know, with the cow?
64
00:03:31,855 --> 00:03:34,517
- Cow? Oh, thanks.
- No.
65
00:03:34,591 --> 00:03:37,924
- What?
- Sleeping with the cow for free milk.
66
00:03:37,994 --> 00:03:39,928
- I don't know.
- That's disgusting.
67
00:03:39,996 --> 00:03:43,159
Will you tell her what men think
when girls give in on the first date?
68
00:03:43,233 --> 00:03:44,723
Yippee?
69
00:03:49,506 --> 00:03:51,667
- I'm taking this dress.
- That's a very good choice.
70
00:03:51,742 --> 00:03:53,209
- Have a good time.
- I will.
71
00:03:53,276 --> 00:03:54,834
Of course you will,
just not too good a time.
72
00:03:54,911 --> 00:03:57,345
I'm telling you,
I have a good feeling about this one.
73
00:03:57,414 --> 00:03:58,904
- You think?
- Yes. Absolutely.
74
00:03:58,982 --> 00:04:00,916
- Call me tomorrow. Bye.
- I will. Bye.
75
00:04:02,753 --> 00:04:04,584
I'm worried.
76
00:04:08,425 --> 00:04:09,915
Paul?
77
00:04:33,216 --> 00:04:35,150
- What the hell was that?
- I don't know. You up?
78
00:04:35,218 --> 00:04:38,381
- Yeah, what' going on?
- She's sleeping with him.
79
00:04:38,455 --> 00:04:41,686
Oh, would you stop it. Please.
80
00:04:41,758 --> 00:04:44,090
I'm serious. My sister and I
are very interconnected.
81
00:04:44,161 --> 00:04:46,220
It's like a psychic bond.
82
00:04:46,296 --> 00:04:48,491
She's having sex right now.
I can feel it.
83
00:04:52,702 --> 00:04:54,602
How is it?
84
00:04:56,406 --> 00:04:58,533
I'm serious.
85
00:04:58,608 --> 00:05:02,510
How can anyone have sex
after Ice Capades?
86
00:05:02,579 --> 00:05:06,640
I would imagine because during the show
it would be just too cold.
87
00:05:06,716 --> 00:05:08,411
Can we go to sleep now, please?
88
00:05:08,485 --> 00:05:10,510
Hey, wait a second.
89
00:05:10,587 --> 00:05:13,215
If you can feel it
when she has sex,
90
00:05:13,290 --> 00:05:15,281
you know, this takes
a huge burden off of me.
91
00:05:17,761 --> 00:05:19,956
- When we were in high school...
- So, I'm up now.
92
00:05:20,030 --> 00:05:22,328
You're up now.
When we were in high school,
93
00:05:22,399 --> 00:05:25,425
Lisa broke her toe in gym
playing soccer...
94
00:05:25,502 --> 00:05:28,266
'cause she was wearing thongs...
Yes, I told her not to wear thongs.
95
00:05:28,338 --> 00:05:32,638
I mean, it's Connecticut in December.
Anyway,
96
00:05:32,709 --> 00:05:36,577
I was in social studies class taking
a pop quiz on the Boxer Rebellion...
97
00:05:36,646 --> 00:05:39,274
two entire floors away,
and at the exact moment...
98
00:05:39,349 --> 00:05:43,149
she broke her toe,
I got a sharp pain in my foot.
99
00:05:43,220 --> 00:05:45,211
Wait a second. Wait a second.
100
00:05:45,288 --> 00:05:48,724
- Was this by any chance December '76?
- Yeah, why?
101
00:05:48,792 --> 00:05:51,420
Because that entire month,
my toe was killing me.
102
00:05:53,029 --> 00:05:54,553
- I could never figure out...
You don't think?
103
00:05:54,631 --> 00:05:57,293
- They're finished.
- They're finished?
104
00:05:58,535 --> 00:06:01,436
I just had this tremendous desire
to smoke a cigarette.
105
00:06:06,309 --> 00:06:08,834
Wait a second, did you just have
an orgasm that I don't know about?
106
00:06:10,380 --> 00:06:12,348
- No. Positive.
- Are you sure?
107
00:06:12,415 --> 00:06:15,179
You're not faking it
in reverse, are you?
108
00:06:16,519 --> 00:06:19,511
- Why is my sister so dumb?
- How is she dumb?
109
00:06:19,589 --> 00:06:22,581
She falls in love
like it's dish night at the movies.
110
00:06:22,659 --> 00:06:26,186
If they're not deadbeats, they're crazy.
If they're not crazy, they're married.
111
00:06:26,263 --> 00:06:28,231
It they're not married,
she's not interested.
112
00:06:28,298 --> 00:06:30,823
What does that mean,
dish night at the movies?
113
00:06:30,901 --> 00:06:33,062
People went to the movies,
they gave them dishes.
114
00:06:33,136 --> 00:06:35,661
- Why?
- Because it was the depression.
115
00:06:35,739 --> 00:06:37,730
I love how you know things.
116
00:06:39,175 --> 00:06:42,440
She's always getting hurt.
I can't stand to see that happen.
117
00:06:43,847 --> 00:06:47,339
- Oh, God.
- What?
118
00:06:47,417 --> 00:06:49,977
It's them again.
119
00:06:50,053 --> 00:06:51,543
So soon?
120
00:06:52,589 --> 00:06:54,181
Good for him.
121
00:06:57,827 --> 00:07:00,523
I think she's falling in love.
122
00:07:00,597 --> 00:07:03,031
You know, you are really cute
when you're telepathic.
123
00:07:03,099 --> 00:07:05,158
- I'm busy here.
- Would you leave them alone?
124
00:07:05,235 --> 00:07:07,396
I can't leave them alone,
if they don't...
125
00:07:12,309 --> 00:07:14,300
- Hello.
- How are you?
126
00:07:17,714 --> 00:07:19,944
So tell me about Michael.
What's his family like?
127
00:07:20,016 --> 00:07:21,608
I don't know,
they're still back in England.
128
00:07:21,685 --> 00:07:23,585
- So he has his green card?
- Yeah, why?
129
00:07:23,653 --> 00:07:25,883
Just interested.
130
00:07:25,956 --> 00:07:28,481
- Oh, my God. She's a goner.
- You think?
131
00:07:28,558 --> 00:07:32,050
Well, she's spelling out his name
with baby corn.
132
00:07:33,964 --> 00:07:35,955
You know what? We're going to
the Rainbow Room tonight.
133
00:07:36,032 --> 00:07:39,092
- Do you mind if I hang onto your dress?
- I guess it made a big impression, huh?
134
00:07:39,169 --> 00:07:41,660
- I don't know.
- He didn't like my dress?
135
00:07:41,738 --> 00:07:42,796
- He didn't say.
- Which dress?
136
00:07:42,872 --> 00:07:44,499
The black one with the back.
137
00:07:44,574 --> 00:07:46,565
I love that dress.
He didn't like it?
138
00:07:46,643 --> 00:07:50,079
I don't know. Why don't we
discuss it when he gets here.
139
00:07:50,146 --> 00:07:51,977
- I was wide open under the basket.
- You were not wide open.
140
00:07:52,048 --> 00:07:54,812
- Wide open like a prairie.
- I saw no prairie.
141
00:07:54,884 --> 00:07:58,251
All you had to do was pass it to me,
a little layup, boom, we would've won.
142
00:07:58,321 --> 00:08:02,189
- I'm under the basket, wide open.
- That's exactly why I didn't pass it.
143
00:08:02,258 --> 00:08:04,624
Because whenever you shoot a layup
you make that dumb sound.
144
00:08:04,694 --> 00:08:08,960
Just go, "Yeah. Yeah."
"Yeah," every time.
145
00:08:09,032 --> 00:08:10,556
- No, you are wrong.
- In the middle of...
146
00:08:10,633 --> 00:08:12,726
- What are you talking...
- It's a very embarrassing sound.
147
00:08:12,802 --> 00:08:15,066
- I'm sorry. We're ten minutes late.
- Twenty.
148
00:08:15,138 --> 00:08:18,665
- Fifteen.
- Look at you. You're soaked.
149
00:08:18,742 --> 00:08:21,540
You should've seen me out there.
I was phenomenal.
150
00:08:21,611 --> 00:08:24,239
I mean, I'm pushing Ken Sullivan
all over the court.
151
00:08:24,314 --> 00:08:27,909
And this is a big guy.
You know, I mean, he's a dentist.
152
00:08:27,984 --> 00:08:30,316
Excuse me one second.
I'll be right back.
153
00:08:35,692 --> 00:08:39,526
- She's putting on makeup.
- Oh, that slut.
154
00:08:39,596 --> 00:08:42,258
- Makeup for Michael.
- So what?
155
00:08:42,332 --> 00:08:44,129
- So, she never wears makeup.
- So what?
156
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:46,065
- All of a sudden she's wearing makeup?
- So what?
157
00:08:46,136 --> 00:08:47,626
What are you, Robert De Niro?
158
00:08:48,905 --> 00:08:51,135
What, is that 'cause of
the so whats?
159
00:08:51,207 --> 00:08:54,870
- Yes.
- It just doesn't feel right.
160
00:08:54,944 --> 00:08:58,607
- You haven't even met the guy.
- Doesn't matter. I know. I can tell.
161
00:08:58,681 --> 00:09:00,672
- What can you tell?
- That it's wrong.
162
00:09:00,750 --> 00:09:03,583
That's what I'm looking for.
Those kind of specifics.
163
00:09:03,653 --> 00:09:05,348
It's because of the dress,
isn't it?
164
00:09:05,422 --> 00:09:08,414
- Do I like Eggs Florentine?
- It's spinach.
165
00:09:08,491 --> 00:09:12,450
I know my sister. The higher she goes,
the harder she falls. It's too fast.
166
00:09:12,529 --> 00:09:14,394
You don't know.
Maybe she'll marry the guy.
167
00:09:14,464 --> 00:09:16,762
- Yeah, right.
- Maybe. How do you know?
168
00:09:16,833 --> 00:09:19,427
Listen, maybe she'll end up doing
her laundry at his place every Tuesday.
169
00:09:19,502 --> 00:09:22,130
See? This guy could end up
being our savior.
170
00:09:22,205 --> 00:09:25,697
- Then she will be out of our hair.
- I don't want her out of my hair.
171
00:09:25,775 --> 00:09:27,868
Well, that could be your problem.
172
00:09:27,944 --> 00:09:30,435
- What is that supposed to mean?
- Nothing.
173
00:09:30,513 --> 00:09:33,141
Look, she survived for three years
before you were born.
174
00:09:33,216 --> 00:09:35,776
- But she had no direction.
- No direction.
175
00:09:37,854 --> 00:09:39,048
Excuse me.
176
00:09:44,461 --> 00:09:46,691
- You look beautiful.
- Thanks.
177
00:09:46,763 --> 00:09:51,325
What's the matter with your eye?
I don't know. Could be Impetigo.
178
00:09:54,003 --> 00:09:56,198
- They're false eyelashes.
- Oh.
179
00:09:56,272 --> 00:10:00,709
- Why, don't they look good?
- No. You look beautiful.
180
00:10:00,777 --> 00:10:02,711
- You look beautiful.
- All right. Good.
181
00:10:04,848 --> 00:10:08,682
- You're not just saying that, are you?
- No! You look beautiful.
182
00:10:12,222 --> 00:10:15,521
There he is.
I think. I really can't see.
183
00:10:16,860 --> 00:10:18,623
Hi, honey.
184
00:10:20,029 --> 00:10:22,088
I think that's the guy.
185
00:10:24,434 --> 00:10:27,767
Jamie, Paul, Fran, Mark.
This is Michael.
186
00:10:27,837 --> 00:10:30,897
Hi. So pleased to finally meet you
after all this time.
187
00:10:30,974 --> 00:10:32,737
Been a busy week.
188
00:10:32,809 --> 00:10:35,369
I'm sorry I'm late,
I was talking to the movers.
189
00:10:35,445 --> 00:10:38,312
- Where are you going?
- Oh, I'm sorry. Didn't you tell them?
190
00:10:38,381 --> 00:10:41,145
- I was waiting for you.
- Tell us what?
191
00:10:41,217 --> 00:10:43,447
We're moving in together.
192
00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:46,683
- I'm sorry...
- We're very, very happy for you.
193
00:10:58,535 --> 00:11:00,503
- Ta-da. Video rentals.
- What is that?
194
00:11:00,570 --> 00:11:02,970
- Not deductible.
- Absolutely deductible.
195
00:11:03,039 --> 00:11:04,836
- I'm a filmmaker.
- So?
196
00:11:04,908 --> 00:11:07,638
So? You know, if I'm gonna stay
competitive in the market,
197
00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:09,507
I gotta know what's going on out there,
I gotta be on top of it.
198
00:11:09,579 --> 00:11:12,275
So, it's like an educational expense.
199
00:11:12,348 --> 00:11:14,839
What did you learn
by watchingPumping Irene?
200
00:11:18,922 --> 00:11:20,913
Believe me, babe,
we learned plenty.
201
00:11:22,625 --> 00:11:24,957
- Excuse me.
- Wow, you're hungry, huh?
202
00:11:25,028 --> 00:11:28,156
I know my sister's parties.
Remember my bridal shower?
203
00:11:28,231 --> 00:11:31,064
She had soda and gum.
204
00:11:31,134 --> 00:11:35,332
- What can she be thinking?
- Hey, I thought he was a very nice guy.
205
00:11:35,405 --> 00:11:38,897
Did you notice all through brunch
he kept using the word, actually?
206
00:11:38,975 --> 00:11:42,877
"Actually, Lisa and I love Indian food.
Actually, we took the crosstown bus.
207
00:11:42,946 --> 00:11:45,779
Actually, I prefer Siskel."
What was that?
208
00:11:47,784 --> 00:11:50,378
The way he kept hogging the ketchup.
It was just weird.
209
00:11:53,022 --> 00:11:55,490
Yeah, I still can get over
what he did to that waitress.
210
00:11:55,558 --> 00:11:58,356
- What did he do? I didn't see.
- Oh, you missed that?
211
00:11:58,428 --> 00:12:01,761
Waitress walks by,
he sticks out his hand, right?
212
00:12:01,831 --> 00:12:04,561
Not even his hand, like two fingers.
He says, "Excuse me, miss,
213
00:12:04,634 --> 00:12:06,625
but, could I please have
some water?"
214
00:12:13,142 --> 00:12:15,372
- Yeah. If this was your sister...
- Yeah, I understand.
215
00:12:15,445 --> 00:12:17,970
We'd be having
a very different conversation.
216
00:12:18,047 --> 00:12:21,107
I think you're making a big deal
over nothing. He's a very nice guy.
217
00:12:21,184 --> 00:12:25,280
And may I suggest you're going a little
overboard with the food here, geez.
218
00:12:25,355 --> 00:12:27,585
Fine. Lisa can eat the leftovers
when she finds out...
219
00:12:27,657 --> 00:12:30,387
he has a wife
and six kids in Liverpool.
220
00:12:30,460 --> 00:12:32,428
Or, maybe not.
221
00:12:32,495 --> 00:12:34,360
- I hope not.
- Do ya?
222
00:12:34,430 --> 00:12:36,330
Thank you very much.
223
00:12:36,399 --> 00:12:38,594
I'm just saying that she's never going
to learn to take care of herself...
224
00:12:38,668 --> 00:12:40,727
until you let her
take care of herself.
225
00:12:40,803 --> 00:12:43,465
- I can't help it. I'm protective.
- You may be protecting her...
226
00:12:43,539 --> 00:12:46,269
from something good, in which case,
you're not protecting her.
227
00:12:46,342 --> 00:12:48,810
No. Recycle.
228
00:12:48,878 --> 00:12:51,540
I'm really losing patience
with the Earth.
229
00:12:52,615 --> 00:12:54,276
I miss throwing things out willy-nilly.
230
00:12:54,350 --> 00:12:57,251
You think I enjoy picking up the pieces?
231
00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:59,788
Are we talking about the trash now,
or your sister?
232
00:12:59,856 --> 00:13:02,620
She's very fragile.
She's known this guy a week,
233
00:13:02,692 --> 00:13:04,660
she's about to give away
her whole life to him.
234
00:13:04,727 --> 00:13:06,718
Seriously, what life?
235
00:13:06,796 --> 00:13:08,957
It's an expression.
236
00:13:09,032 --> 00:13:11,694
Honey, I say this with love.
Butt out.
237
00:13:11,768 --> 00:13:13,827
I am not trying to interfere.
I'm trying to help.
238
00:13:13,903 --> 00:13:17,202
I can't believe her shrink
hung up on me.
239
00:13:17,273 --> 00:13:20,606
- You were screaming at the poor guy.
- If the man can't handle emotion...
240
00:13:20,677 --> 00:13:22,144
Oh, right.
241
00:13:26,616 --> 00:13:28,948
These are great.
242
00:13:29,018 --> 00:13:31,009
Would you like some?
243
00:13:35,625 --> 00:13:37,525
- Hi, there.
- Where's my brisket?
244
00:13:37,593 --> 00:13:40,687
I gave it to the guy in the elevator.
He was carrying a knife.
245
00:13:42,498 --> 00:13:44,489
Give me your coat.
We'll put 'em in the bedroom.
246
00:14:02,352 --> 00:14:04,081
What's different about this place
since last time?
247
00:14:04,153 --> 00:14:06,519
- Her sofa was repossessed.
- That's it.
248
00:14:06,589 --> 00:14:09,387
Hey, what did you do?
Michael's been cooking for two days.
249
00:14:09,459 --> 00:14:11,324
I made your favorite little quiches.
250
00:14:11,394 --> 00:14:14,659
Quiche. I love quiche.
What kind of cream do you use?
251
00:14:14,731 --> 00:14:16,722
The kind they put in frozen quiche.
252
00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:20,399
Michael seared his tuna on a hot plate.
253
00:14:20,470 --> 00:14:22,631
Ow! That must have hurt, huh?
254
00:14:22,705 --> 00:14:25,299
Where's your stove? I thought
Mom and Dad bought you a stove.
255
00:14:25,375 --> 00:14:27,536
Yeah, I loaned it to a friend.
256
00:14:27,610 --> 00:14:31,102
- You loaned it to a friend?
- She has such a generous spirit.
257
00:14:31,180 --> 00:14:34,081
Here, let me take those
from you. Thanks.
258
00:14:34,150 --> 00:14:37,517
So, tomorrow's the big day, huh?
That's really exciting.
259
00:14:37,587 --> 00:14:39,748
- Isn't it?
- It's very exciting.
260
00:14:39,822 --> 00:14:41,414
I know. I know.
261
00:14:41,491 --> 00:14:43,459
What time should we be over
to help you move?
262
00:14:43,526 --> 00:14:46,359
- No problem. It's all taken care of.
- No. We'd love to.
263
00:14:46,429 --> 00:14:49,023
- If they don't need us, they don't.
- They need us.
264
00:14:49,098 --> 00:14:51,623
- No, really. I've hired a mover.
- Well, you still need to pack.
265
00:14:51,701 --> 00:14:54,261
- It's under control.
- Let us help you pack.
266
00:14:54,337 --> 00:14:56,498
Honey, they've got professionals.
267
00:14:56,572 --> 00:14:59,200
And as much as I'd love to,
they're telling us no.
268
00:14:59,275 --> 00:15:02,767
What kind of hosts are we?
Let me get you something to eat.
269
00:15:04,614 --> 00:15:06,377
Stay away from the quiche.
270
00:15:09,852 --> 00:15:11,979
Did you know your sister
is friends with a grave digger?
271
00:15:12,054 --> 00:15:15,114
- Yeah, Alice.
- Fascinating girl, and what a grip.
272
00:15:15,191 --> 00:15:18,354
- Hey, Jamie.
- Oh, hi, Irwin. Hi, Spats.
273
00:15:19,529 --> 00:15:22,828
Fellas, these are our friends,
Mark and Fran.
274
00:15:22,899 --> 00:15:26,391
- Irwin's a ventriloquist.
- Nice to meet you.
275
00:15:26,469 --> 00:15:28,630
Ahh, saw your lips move.
276
00:15:31,774 --> 00:15:33,435
Got a helluva act.
277
00:15:33,509 --> 00:15:36,945
May I please remind everyone
that that's Lisa's last boyfriend.
278
00:15:37,013 --> 00:15:39,243
- Well, Michael seems nice.
- Ooh, I think he's charming.
279
00:15:39,315 --> 00:15:42,944
- What did I say?
- What, he's not? He's not charming?
280
00:15:43,019 --> 00:15:45,146
- Fine. He's a prince.
281
00:15:45,221 --> 00:15:48,213
You think everybody was so sure about
me when we started going together?
282
00:15:48,291 --> 00:15:50,282
- Yes.
- Really?
283
00:15:50,359 --> 00:15:52,520
- Yeah.
- No kidding?
284
00:15:52,595 --> 00:15:54,927
- Everybody loved you.
- Everybody loved me?
285
00:15:54,997 --> 00:15:58,262
But, like, what was it about me
that they loved, you think?
286
00:15:58,334 --> 00:16:00,825
- They loved everything.
- Honey, could you be specific?
287
00:16:00,903 --> 00:16:03,804
- I don't know.
- Come on. Just try to remember.
288
00:16:03,873 --> 00:16:06,637
Must have been something.
What, are you cold?
289
00:16:06,709 --> 00:16:08,734
- No.
- Then what are you sitting there for?
290
00:16:10,980 --> 00:16:13,039
- What did you do?
- I don't know. I'm talking to this guy,
291
00:16:13,115 --> 00:16:15,242
next thing I know,
I'm handcuffed to the radiator.
292
00:16:17,453 --> 00:16:20,980
Lisa, you wouldn't happen to have
a key that opens handcuffs, would you?
293
00:16:21,057 --> 00:16:23,150
Over there, top drawer.
294
00:16:23,226 --> 00:16:24,887
There we go.
295
00:16:24,961 --> 00:16:29,159
Sorry to keep you waiting.
I wanted it to look just right.
296
00:16:29,232 --> 00:16:33,965
Wow. That's... Hey, look at you two.
You guys look so happy together.
297
00:16:34,036 --> 00:16:36,061
- Don't they look happy?
- We are.
298
00:16:36,138 --> 00:16:38,732
You never know where you'll find love.
299
00:16:38,808 --> 00:16:43,768
The moment I saw her, I thought, this
isn't just a woman pointing at a boat.
300
00:16:43,846 --> 00:16:45,473
This is destiny.
301
00:16:45,548 --> 00:16:48,483
People don't believe
in love at first sight.
302
00:16:48,551 --> 00:16:51,042
Think it belongs in storybooks
and fairy-tales.
303
00:16:52,455 --> 00:16:54,480
After Fiona, I never thought
it would happen again,
304
00:16:54,557 --> 00:16:57,526
but somehow I suppose the angels
were smiling down on me.
305
00:16:57,593 --> 00:17:00,221
- And Fiona would be?
- That was his wife. She died.
306
00:17:00,296 --> 00:17:02,355
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Lightning.
307
00:17:04,433 --> 00:17:07,493
Lightning?
Well, that's unbelievable.
308
00:17:07,570 --> 00:17:08,901
Well, least she went quickly.
309
00:17:08,971 --> 00:17:11,633
Who knows how long Amanda
drifted out at sea.
310
00:17:14,310 --> 00:17:16,710
- Amanda being...
- My second wife.
311
00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:19,871
You remember that big flood
in Scotland?
312
00:17:19,949 --> 00:17:23,578
So, there was Fiona then Amanda...
313
00:17:23,653 --> 00:17:26,679
Fiona was the third.
Amanda was second, right?
314
00:17:26,756 --> 00:17:28,690
- So, the first wife would be?
- Delia.
315
00:17:28,758 --> 00:17:30,385
Bull run at Pamplona.
316
00:17:32,795 --> 00:17:35,127
Finally, a guy who likes to do things.
317
00:17:37,199 --> 00:17:39,929
So, you've been married three times?
318
00:17:40,002 --> 00:17:41,663
So far.
319
00:17:43,139 --> 00:17:46,302
Okay. Well, first of all, condolences.
320
00:17:49,845 --> 00:17:51,437
Second of all, honey...
321
00:17:51,514 --> 00:17:55,314
Could you just excuse us
for one second? Lisa, come here.
322
00:17:57,186 --> 00:18:00,019
- What?
- What?
323
00:18:00,089 --> 00:18:01,579
What?
324
00:18:03,159 --> 00:18:05,320
You know what? Come here.
Just for one second.
325
00:18:06,729 --> 00:18:08,287
Key didn't fit.
326
00:18:12,568 --> 00:18:15,469
For God's sake, be careful!
327
00:18:15,538 --> 00:18:17,597
Why? What's gonna happen to me?
328
00:18:17,673 --> 00:18:21,268
We can fix this.
Let's redo the apartment.
329
00:18:21,344 --> 00:18:25,110
Tomorrow, we'll get you a new couch, on
the way home we'll pick up your stove.
330
00:18:25,181 --> 00:18:27,513
I don't want my stove.
I don't need my stove.
331
00:18:27,583 --> 00:18:29,175
I'm not going to be living here anymore.
332
00:18:29,251 --> 00:18:31,242
Okay, come here.
333
00:18:33,990 --> 00:18:36,185
You should take a class.
334
00:18:37,393 --> 00:18:40,055
Ceramics. Calligraphy,
something with a future.
335
00:18:40,129 --> 00:18:41,858
You need a vocation.
You can't run around...
336
00:18:41,931 --> 00:18:44,161
pointing at boats the rest of your life.
337
00:18:44,233 --> 00:18:46,133
Would you give me a little credit?
338
00:18:46,202 --> 00:18:49,194
I have an audition
for the auto show next week.
339
00:18:49,271 --> 00:18:51,603
What happened to you?
340
00:18:51,674 --> 00:18:55,440
You wanted to be so many things.
You wanted to be an eye surgeon.
341
00:18:55,511 --> 00:18:58,674
- A Rockette.
- When?
342
00:18:58,748 --> 00:19:01,649
- When we were kids.
- That wasn't me. That was you.
343
00:19:01,717 --> 00:19:04,208
- No. I'm too short to be a Rockette.
- I told you that. You wouldn't listen.
344
00:19:04,286 --> 00:19:06,811
- I wanted to be a Rockette?
- Yes!
345
00:19:06,889 --> 00:19:08,481
How did I end up in P.R.?
346
00:19:08,557 --> 00:19:11,720
Stop worrying about me.
So Michael had a little run of bad luck.
347
00:19:11,794 --> 00:19:15,127
No. Custer had a little run of bad luck.
Michael has...
348
00:19:15,197 --> 00:19:16,789
- I can take care of myself.
- You don't know what you're doing.
349
00:19:16,866 --> 00:19:19,096
I do know what I'm doing.
I'm giving up a crummy apartment...
350
00:19:19,168 --> 00:19:22,137
where I spend most of my life alone,
and I'm moving into a beautiful loft...
351
00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:24,297
with a wonderful man who loves me.
352
00:19:24,373 --> 00:19:26,534
- Walk up?
- What?
353
00:19:26,609 --> 00:19:28,736
- Is it a walk up?
- No.
354
00:19:28,811 --> 00:19:31,473
- So there's an elevator shaft.
- Oh, would you stop?
355
00:19:31,547 --> 00:19:34,710
Fine. I'm just gonna sit by and wait
till you wind up under a glacier.
356
00:19:34,784 --> 00:19:36,752
Stop being my big sister.
I'm older than you.
357
00:19:36,819 --> 00:19:39,151
You do these things without thinking.
358
00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:42,418
That's right. That's how I live.
I just close my eyes and I leap.
359
00:19:42,491 --> 00:19:44,322
Yeah, while I'm running
all over town with a net.
360
00:19:44,393 --> 00:19:46,327
Who's Annette?
361
00:19:46,395 --> 00:19:50,729
A net! A net!
362
00:19:52,168 --> 00:19:54,534
Never mind.
363
00:19:54,603 --> 00:19:57,970
Okay. All right. I figure if
I just leap enough...
364
00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:01,032
eventually I'll land on someplace good
and, you know what, maybe this is it.
365
00:20:01,110 --> 00:20:03,578
- What if it isn't?
- Okay.
366
00:20:03,646 --> 00:20:07,742
You always say you know
what I'm feeling? What am I feeling now?
367
00:20:10,686 --> 00:20:12,711
I don't know.
I've never felt you feel this before.
368
00:20:14,990 --> 00:20:17,049
I'm happy.
369
00:20:17,126 --> 00:20:19,560
Oh, my God. You are.
370
00:20:21,330 --> 00:20:23,798
- How do you like it?
- I don't.
371
00:20:23,866 --> 00:20:26,027
- Well, then what are you doing?
- I don't know. For God's sake.
372
00:20:26,102 --> 00:20:28,832
- I've only known the man a week.
- Do you see how that keeps coming up?
373
00:20:28,904 --> 00:20:30,735
Hey, he's a good guy.
374
00:20:33,209 --> 00:20:36,906
Did I tell you he's taking me
to the Grand Canyon next month?
375
00:20:36,979 --> 00:20:39,470
- No. He's not taking you to the Grand...
- Kidding. Relax.
376
00:20:49,458 --> 00:20:52,757
- Wanna hear something gross?
- Please.
377
00:20:55,765 --> 00:20:59,599
I just ate thirteen mini hot dogs
and twenty-three little quiches.
378
00:21:01,504 --> 00:21:04,029
- Your sister?
- Mm-hmm.
379
00:21:04,106 --> 00:21:07,507
Do you know that twice as many people
are hit by lightning in Ohio...
380
00:21:07,576 --> 00:21:09,100
as they are in New York?
381
00:21:10,780 --> 00:21:12,213
That doesn't seem fair.
382
00:21:12,281 --> 00:21:15,444
What are you reading?
Actuary tables?
383
00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:20,148
"Natural disasters by state."
384
00:21:22,358 --> 00:21:25,350
Hey, did you know one out of every
two point three million people...
385
00:21:25,427 --> 00:21:28,396
are killed by locusts.
386
00:21:28,464 --> 00:21:30,796
I didn't know they still have those.
387
00:21:34,904 --> 00:21:37,065
Two point three... That means in New York
there's eight million people,
388
00:21:37,139 --> 00:21:40,540
which means like
locusts are going to get four of'em.
389
00:21:40,609 --> 00:21:43,305
One of them
will definitely be my sister.
390
00:21:43,379 --> 00:21:45,370
Come on. Stop it.
391
00:21:46,649 --> 00:21:48,810
We are going to bed.
392
00:21:52,087 --> 00:21:54,055
- Ow.
- Did you stub your toe?
393
00:21:54,123 --> 00:21:56,023
No, my sister did.
394
00:21:56,073 --> 00:22:00,623
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