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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 The Venom - $5 million GTD Poker Tourney Download AmericasCardroom.com 2 00:01:12,523 --> 00:01:13,998 (Man) 'Whenever I get gloomy... 3 00:01:14,098 --> 00:01:15,426 with the state of the world, 4 00:01:15,526 --> 00:01:17,456 'l think about the arrivals gate... 5 00:01:17,556 --> 00:01:18,638 at Heathrow airport. 6 00:01:18,738 --> 00:01:20,181 'General opinion makes out... 7 00:01:20,281 --> 00:01:22,600 that we live in a world of hatred and greed... 8 00:01:22,700 --> 00:01:24,394 'but I don't see that. 9 00:01:24,494 --> 00:01:27,021 'Seems to me that love is everywhere. 10 00:01:27,121 --> 00:01:29,483 'Often it's not particularly dignified... 11 00:01:29,583 --> 00:01:31,651 or newsworthy but it's always there. 12 00:01:31,751 --> 00:01:34,169 'Fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, 13 00:01:34,269 --> 00:01:35,363 husbands and wives, 14 00:01:35,463 --> 00:01:38,366 'boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. 15 00:01:38,466 --> 00:01:40,618 'When the planes hit the Twin Towers, 16 00:01:40,718 --> 00:01:43,103 'none of the phone calls from people on... 17 00:01:43,203 --> 00:01:45,415 board were messages of hate or revenge, 18 00:01:45,515 --> 00:01:47,792 'they were all messages of love. 19 00:01:47,892 --> 00:01:51,875 'lf you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling... 20 00:01:51,975 --> 00:01:55,885 you'll find that love actually is all around.' 21 00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:12,625 I feel it in my fingers 22 00:02:12,709 --> 00:02:15,878 I feel it in my toes 23 00:02:15,962 --> 00:02:20,508 Feel it in my toes, yeah 24 00:02:20,591 --> 00:02:25,138 Love is all around me And so the... 25 00:02:25,221 --> 00:02:26,221 (Feedback) 26 00:02:26,321 --> 00:02:28,082 I'm afraid you did it again, Bill. 27 00:02:28,182 --> 00:02:31,208 (Sighs) It's just I know the old version... 28 00:02:31,308 --> 00:02:32,545 so well, you know. 29 00:02:32,645 --> 00:02:34,897 Well, we all do. 30 00:02:34,981 --> 00:02:37,342 That's why we're making the new version. 31 00:02:37,442 --> 00:02:39,135 Right, OK, let's go. 32 00:02:39,235 --> 00:02:42,155 ( lntro begins) 33 00:02:42,238 --> 00:02:45,992 I feel it in my fingers In my fingers 34 00:02:46,075 --> 00:02:49,203 I feel it in my toes 35 00:02:49,287 --> 00:02:53,708 Feel it in my toes, yeah 36 00:02:53,791 --> 00:02:56,335 Love is all ar... 37 00:02:56,419 --> 00:03:00,669 Oh, fuck, wank, bugger, shitting arsehead and hole. 38 00:03:02,258 --> 00:03:04,385 Start again. 39 00:03:04,469 --> 00:03:07,555 ( lntro begins) 40 00:03:09,182 --> 00:03:12,727 I feel it in my fingers In my fingers 41 00:03:12,810 --> 00:03:15,772 I feel it in my toes 42 00:03:15,855 --> 00:03:20,526 Feel it in my toes, yeah 43 00:03:20,610 --> 00:03:24,113 Christmas is all around me All around me 44 00:03:24,197 --> 00:03:27,367 And so the feeling grows 45 00:03:27,450 --> 00:03:31,913 So the feeling grows 46 00:03:31,996 --> 00:03:35,458 It's written in the wind In the wind 47 00:03:35,541 --> 00:03:38,211 It's everywhere I go 48 00:03:38,252 --> 00:03:42,965 Everywhere I go 49 00:03:43,049 --> 00:03:45,516 So if you really love Christmas 50 00:03:45,616 --> 00:03:46,703 Love Christmas 51 00:03:46,803 --> 00:03:49,389 Come on and let it snow 52 00:03:49,472 --> 00:03:51,474 Come on and let it... 53 00:03:51,557 --> 00:03:53,810 This is shit, isn't it? 54 00:03:53,893 --> 00:03:56,562 Yep, solid gold shit, maestro. 55 00:04:20,586 --> 00:04:21,586 God, I'm so late. 56 00:04:21,686 --> 00:04:24,282 It's just round the corner, you'll make it. 57 00:04:24,382 --> 00:04:27,619 You sure you don't mind me going without you? 58 00:04:27,719 --> 00:04:30,079 No, really. I'm just feeling so rotten. 59 00:04:30,179 --> 00:04:32,849 I love you. - I know. 60 00:04:32,932 --> 00:04:35,473 I love you even when you're sick... 61 00:04:35,573 --> 00:04:37,003 and look disgusting. 62 00:04:37,103 --> 00:04:40,590 I know. Now, go or you will actually miss it. 63 00:04:40,690 --> 00:04:42,690 Right. 64 00:04:45,278 --> 00:04:47,864 Did I mention that I love you? 65 00:04:47,964 --> 00:04:50,463 Yes, you did. Get out, loser. 66 00:05:07,050 --> 00:05:09,844 Karen, it's me again. 67 00:05:09,927 --> 00:05:12,784 I'm sorry, I literally don't have... 68 00:05:12,884 --> 00:05:14,924 anybody else to talk to. 69 00:05:15,349 --> 00:05:17,407 Absolutely. Horrible moment, though. 70 00:05:17,507 --> 00:05:18,628 Can I call you back? 71 00:05:18,728 --> 00:05:20,171 Of course. 72 00:05:20,271 --> 00:05:22,668 Doesn't mean I'm not terribly concerned... 73 00:05:22,768 --> 00:05:24,175 that your wife just died. 74 00:05:24,275 --> 00:05:26,444 Understood. 75 00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:29,077 Er, bugger off, call me later. 76 00:05:32,658 --> 00:05:34,310 So what's this big news? 77 00:05:34,410 --> 00:05:37,063 We've been given our parts in the nativity play... 78 00:05:37,163 --> 00:05:38,940 and I'm the lobster. 79 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:40,692 The lobster? - Yeah. 80 00:05:40,792 --> 00:05:44,629 In the nativity play? - Yeah. First Lobster. 81 00:05:44,712 --> 00:05:46,814 There was more than one lobster present... 82 00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:47,991 at the birth of Jesus? 83 00:05:48,091 --> 00:05:50,093 Duh. 84 00:05:54,639 --> 00:05:56,934 Best sandwiches in Britain. 85 00:05:58,184 --> 00:06:00,436 Try my lovely nuts? 86 00:06:02,855 --> 00:06:06,085 Beautiful muffin for a beautiful lady. 87 00:06:08,820 --> 00:06:10,988 Morning, my future wife. 88 00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:31,534 (Man) OK, you can stop there. Thanks. 89 00:06:31,634 --> 00:06:33,995 (2nd man) I need a couple of orange gels. 90 00:06:34,095 --> 00:06:36,056 By the way, he introduced me as John... 91 00:06:36,156 --> 00:06:37,498 but everyone calls me Jack. 92 00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:40,643 Oh, fine. Nice to meet you, Jack. 93 00:06:40,727 --> 00:06:42,837 He got me right, though. I'm just Judy. 94 00:06:42,937 --> 00:06:45,440 Great, Just Judy.. 95 00:06:50,486 --> 00:06:53,239 No surprises? - No surprises. 96 00:06:53,322 --> 00:06:56,809 Not like the stag night? - Unlike the stag night. 97 00:06:56,909 --> 00:06:59,421 You admit the prostitutes were a mistake? 98 00:06:59,521 --> 00:07:00,521 I do. 99 00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:02,315 And it would've been much better... 100 00:07:02,415 --> 00:07:04,108 if they'd not turned out to be men? 101 00:07:04,208 --> 00:07:06,252 That is true. 102 00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:10,757 Good luck, kiddo. 103 00:07:23,061 --> 00:07:25,188 (Cheering, applause)... 104 00:07:33,905 --> 00:07:37,645 (Press shouting) Prime Minister, over here.. 105 00:07:45,333 --> 00:07:48,044 (Cheering) 106 00:07:48,127 --> 00:07:50,171 Thank you. 107 00:07:51,714 --> 00:07:53,678 Welcome, Prime Minister. 108 00:07:53,778 --> 00:07:56,158 Woh. I must work on my wave. 109 00:07:56,177 --> 00:07:58,177 How are you? 110 00:07:58,221 --> 00:08:00,373 How are you feeling? - Erm... 111 00:08:00,473 --> 00:08:02,642 Cool. Powerful. 112 00:08:02,725 --> 00:08:05,378 Would you like to meet your household staff? 113 00:08:05,478 --> 00:08:08,131 Yes, I would like that very much indeed. 114 00:08:08,231 --> 00:08:09,941 Anything to put off... 115 00:08:10,041 --> 00:08:12,506 actually running the country. 116 00:08:12,944 --> 00:08:14,788 This is Terence. He's in charge. 117 00:08:14,888 --> 00:08:15,888 Morning, sir. 118 00:08:15,988 --> 00:08:16,740 Good morning. 119 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:18,641 I had an uncle called Terence. 120 00:08:18,741 --> 00:08:20,781 Hated him, I think he was a pervert. 121 00:08:20,881 --> 00:08:22,979 But I very much like the look of you. 122 00:08:23,079 --> 00:08:25,206 This is Pat. - Hello, Pat. 123 00:08:25,289 --> 00:08:27,775 Good morning, sir. I'm the housekeeper. 124 00:08:27,875 --> 00:08:30,445 Oh, right. I should be easier than the last lot. 125 00:08:30,545 --> 00:08:33,364 No nappies, no teenagers, no scary wife. 126 00:08:33,464 --> 00:08:36,284 And this is Natalie. She's new, like you. 127 00:08:36,384 --> 00:08:40,096 Hello, Natalie. - Hello, David. I mean, sir. 128 00:08:40,179 --> 00:08:42,457 Shit, I can't believe I've just said that. 129 00:08:42,557 --> 00:08:44,636 And now I've gone and said 'shit'. 130 00:08:44,736 --> 00:08:46,252 Twice. I'm so sorry, sir. 131 00:08:46,352 --> 00:08:47,766 You could've said 'fuck'... 132 00:08:47,866 --> 00:08:49,714 and we'd have been in real trouble. 133 00:08:49,814 --> 00:08:52,511 Thank you, sir. I had a premonition 134 00:08:52,611 --> 00:08:55,386 I was gonna fuck up on my first day. 135 00:08:55,486 --> 00:08:58,281 Oh, piss it. 136 00:08:58,364 --> 00:09:00,237 Right, I'll get my things... 137 00:09:00,337 --> 00:09:03,102 and then let's fix the country, shall we? 138 00:09:03,202 --> 00:09:05,412 Yeah, I can't see why not. 139 00:09:18,092 --> 00:09:20,703 It's all right. - Did you see what I did? 140 00:09:20,803 --> 00:09:22,830 Yes, I did. - I just went 'blurh'. 141 00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:25,208 Hello there. - I'm right over here. 142 00:09:25,308 --> 00:09:28,644 Yeah, I'm in here. OK. Good. Thank you. 143 00:09:28,728 --> 00:09:30,728 Ah. 144 00:09:30,730 --> 00:09:32,774 (Clears throat) 145 00:09:34,859 --> 00:09:37,111 Oh, no. 146 00:09:37,195 --> 00:09:39,364 That is so inconvenient. 147 00:09:42,825 --> 00:09:43,972 In the presence of God, 148 00:09:44,072 --> 00:09:46,312 Peter and Juliet have given their consent... 149 00:09:46,412 --> 00:09:48,104 and made their marriage vows... 150 00:09:48,204 --> 00:09:48,940 to each other. 151 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:50,821 They've declared their marriage... 152 00:09:50,921 --> 00:09:52,110 by the giving of rings. 153 00:09:52,210 --> 00:09:54,006 I therefore proclaim... 154 00:09:54,106 --> 00:09:56,741 that they are husband and wife. 155 00:09:59,092 --> 00:10:01,472 ( Organ plays Wedding March) 156 00:10:02,095 --> 00:10:03,210 And you resisted... 157 00:10:03,310 --> 00:10:05,039 the temptation for surprises. 158 00:10:05,139 --> 00:10:07,266 Yeah, I'm mature now. 159 00:10:08,059 --> 00:10:11,629 ( Wedding March becomes La Marseillaise)... 160 00:10:16,943 --> 00:10:19,987 (Chorus) Love, love, love 161 00:10:21,614 --> 00:10:25,034 Love, love, love... 162 00:10:26,285 --> 00:10:28,521 Love, love, love... - Did you do this? 163 00:10:28,621 --> 00:10:31,624 Er, no. 164 00:10:31,708 --> 00:10:35,920 Love, love, love, love 165 00:10:38,589 --> 00:10:40,908 There's nothing you can do that can't be done 166 00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:43,052 Oh, it... 167 00:10:43,136 --> 00:10:45,371 There's nothing you can sing... 168 00:10:45,471 --> 00:10:46,748 that can't be sung 169 00:10:46,848 --> 00:10:48,631 There's nothing you can say... 170 00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:51,002 but you can learn how to play the game 171 00:10:51,102 --> 00:10:54,605 It's easy 172 00:10:55,898 --> 00:10:58,276 All you need is love 173 00:11:00,611 --> 00:11:03,156 All you need is love 174 00:11:05,700 --> 00:11:09,829 All you need is love, love 175 00:11:10,788 --> 00:11:13,207 Love is all you need... 176 00:11:15,418 --> 00:11:17,837 Look, it's Pikey. 177 00:11:28,848 --> 00:11:31,668 Hello. What the hell are you doing here? 178 00:11:31,768 --> 00:11:34,629 Oh, I just popped over to borrow some old CDs. 179 00:11:34,729 --> 00:11:36,532 The lady of the house let you in, did she? 180 00:11:36,632 --> 00:11:37,632 Yeah. 181 00:11:37,732 --> 00:11:41,110 Lovely, obliging girl. - Yeah. 182 00:11:41,194 --> 00:11:42,861 I thought I'd pop back and see... 183 00:11:42,961 --> 00:11:44,472 if she's better. This is good. 184 00:11:44,572 --> 00:11:45,572 Oh. 185 00:11:45,672 --> 00:11:48,910 Listen, erm, I've been thinking. 186 00:11:48,993 --> 00:11:51,064 I think we ought to take Mum out for... 187 00:11:51,164 --> 00:11:53,398 her birthday on Friday. What do you think? 188 00:11:53,498 --> 00:11:55,964 I just feel we've been bad sons this year. 189 00:11:56,064 --> 00:11:58,111 Sounds fine. A bit boring but fine. 190 00:11:58,211 --> 00:12:00,154 (Girlfriend) Hurry up, big boy. 191 00:12:00,254 --> 00:12:03,609 I'm naked and I want you at least twice... 192 00:12:03,709 --> 00:12:05,709 before Jamie gets home. 193 00:12:06,469 --> 00:12:08,596 (Music and chatter)... 194 00:12:14,852 --> 00:12:17,742 (Juliet) I am so happy to see you. 195 00:12:18,439 --> 00:12:21,499 Delicious delicacy? - Er, no, thanks. 196 00:12:26,781 --> 00:12:29,033 Taste explosion? 197 00:12:41,129 --> 00:12:43,214 Food? - No, thanks. 198 00:12:43,297 --> 00:12:45,325 Yeah, a bit dodgy, isn't it? 199 00:12:45,425 --> 00:12:49,053 Looks like a dead baby's finger. Oooh. 200 00:12:49,137 --> 00:12:51,556 Oh. Tastes like it, too. 201 00:12:55,226 --> 00:12:57,353 I'm Colin, by the way. 202 00:12:57,437 --> 00:12:59,939 I'm Nancy. - Wicked. 203 00:13:00,022 --> 00:13:02,425 What do you do, Nancy? - I'm a cook. 204 00:13:02,525 --> 00:13:04,427 Ever do weddings? - Yes, I do. 205 00:13:04,527 --> 00:13:07,248 They should've asked you to do this one. 206 00:13:07,348 --> 00:13:08,348 They did. 207 00:13:08,448 --> 00:13:10,835 God, I wish you hadn't have turned it down. 208 00:13:10,935 --> 00:13:11,935 I didn't. 209 00:13:12,035 --> 00:13:14,330 (Embarrassed giggle) Right. 210 00:13:16,831 --> 00:13:19,134 I've worked out why I can't find true love. 211 00:13:19,234 --> 00:13:20,234 Why is that? 212 00:13:20,334 --> 00:13:22,779 English girls. They're stuck up, you see. 213 00:13:22,879 --> 00:13:25,454 And I am primarily attractive to girls... 214 00:13:25,554 --> 00:13:27,617 who are cooler, game for a laugh. 215 00:13:27,717 --> 00:13:29,367 Like American girls. 216 00:13:29,467 --> 00:13:31,955 So I should just go to America. 217 00:13:32,055 --> 00:13:34,070 I'd get a girlfriend there instantly. 218 00:13:34,170 --> 00:13:35,124 What do you think? 219 00:13:35,224 --> 00:13:37,477 I think it's crap, Colin. 220 00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:39,337 That's where you're wrong. 221 00:13:39,437 --> 00:13:40,931 American girls would dig me... 222 00:13:41,031 --> 00:13:42,423 with my cute British accent. 223 00:13:42,523 --> 00:13:44,679 You don't have a cute British accent. 224 00:13:44,779 --> 00:13:46,636 Yes, I do. I'm going to America. 225 00:13:46,736 --> 00:13:49,081 Colin, you're a lonely, ugly arsehole. 226 00:13:49,181 --> 00:13:50,181 Accept it. 227 00:13:50,281 --> 00:13:52,237 Never. I am Colin, God of Sex. 228 00:13:52,337 --> 00:13:55,228 I'm just on the wrong continent, that's all. 229 00:13:55,328 --> 00:13:56,477 Bit of quiet... 230 00:13:56,577 --> 00:13:59,399 while we finish the lighting, guys. 231 00:13:59,499 --> 00:14:02,860 The traffic today was just... - Unbelievable. 232 00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:05,363 Judy, could you take the top off this time? 233 00:14:05,463 --> 00:14:07,511 Lighting need to know when we're gonna... 234 00:14:07,611 --> 00:14:09,659 see the, erm, nipples and when we're not. 235 00:14:09,759 --> 00:14:10,759 Yes, OK. Right. 236 00:14:10,859 --> 00:14:13,329 At least it's nice and warm in here. 237 00:14:13,429 --> 00:14:14,831 Not always the case, is it? 238 00:14:14,931 --> 00:14:17,123 I was standing in for Brad Pitt once... 239 00:14:17,223 --> 00:14:18,668 on Seven Years In Tibet... 240 00:14:18,768 --> 00:14:20,962 Yes, yeah. - Bloody freezing... 241 00:14:21,062 --> 00:14:22,173 Guys, time's tight... 242 00:14:22,273 --> 00:14:24,048 and we have to get the actors in. 243 00:14:24,148 --> 00:14:26,259 Fine. - I promise I won't look. 244 00:14:26,359 --> 00:14:28,359 (Judy laughs)... 245 00:14:29,070 --> 00:14:33,915 (Director) Right, let's have another look at that, please. 246 00:14:44,210 --> 00:14:46,613 Can you just put your hands on her breasts? 247 00:14:46,713 --> 00:14:48,990 OK, yeah. Is that all right? - Yes. 248 00:14:49,090 --> 00:14:51,090 I'll warm them up. 249 00:14:53,678 --> 00:14:56,556 And massage them, please. - Right. 250 00:15:02,019 --> 00:15:05,879 It's junction 13 that's just murder, isn't it? 251 00:15:05,979 --> 00:15:08,359 Total gridlock this morning. 252 00:15:11,154 --> 00:15:16,034 Jo and I had a lot of time to prepare for this moment. 253 00:15:16,117 --> 00:15:18,494 Some of her requests, 254 00:15:18,578 --> 00:15:21,002 for instance, that I should bring 255 00:15:21,102 --> 00:15:24,275 Claudia Schiffer as my date to the funeral, 256 00:15:24,375 --> 00:15:28,212 I was confident she expected me to ignore. 257 00:15:28,296 --> 00:15:31,951 But others she was pretty damn clear about. 258 00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:36,795 When she first mentioned what's about to happen, 259 00:15:37,138 --> 00:15:39,724 I said, 'Over my dead body.' 260 00:15:39,807 --> 00:15:42,919 And she said, 'No, Daniel, over mine.' 261 00:15:43,019 --> 00:15:46,147 And as usual, my darling girl... 262 00:15:47,899 --> 00:15:50,619 and Sam's darling mum was right. 263 00:15:51,652 --> 00:15:54,633 So she's going to say her final farewell... 264 00:15:54,733 --> 00:15:56,516 to you not through me but, 265 00:15:56,616 --> 00:15:58,659 inevitably, 266 00:15:59,952 --> 00:16:01,996 ever so coolly, 267 00:16:03,081 --> 00:16:05,315 through the immortal genius... 268 00:16:05,415 --> 00:16:07,193 of the Bay City Rollers. 269 00:16:07,293 --> 00:16:08,494 (On speakers) 270 00:16:08,594 --> 00:16:11,047 Bye bye baby, baby goodbye 271 00:16:11,130 --> 00:16:15,385 Goodbye baby, baby bye bye 272 00:16:15,468 --> 00:16:17,287 Bye bye baby 273 00:16:17,387 --> 00:16:19,365 Don't make me cry 274 00:16:19,465 --> 00:16:22,517 Goodbye baby, baby bye bye 275 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:26,521 You're the one girl in town I'd marry 276 00:16:26,604 --> 00:16:31,943 Girl I'd marry you now if I were free 277 00:16:31,984 --> 00:16:37,073 I wish it could be 278 00:16:37,156 --> 00:16:41,077 I could love you but why begin it? 279 00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:44,205 Cos there ain't any future in it 280 00:16:44,288 --> 00:16:47,834 She's got me but I'm not free so... 281 00:16:48,876 --> 00:16:49,827 (From DJ booth) 282 00:16:49,927 --> 00:16:51,613 Bye bye baby, baby goodbye 283 00:16:51,713 --> 00:16:56,384 Goodbye baby, baby bye bye 284 00:16:56,467 --> 00:16:59,262 Bye bye baby, don't make me cry 285 00:16:59,345 --> 00:17:03,349 Goodbye baby, baby bye bye 286 00:17:03,433 --> 00:17:05,209 Wish I never had known you... 287 00:17:05,309 --> 00:17:07,854 Do you love him? 288 00:17:07,937 --> 00:17:09,981 Er, er, what? 289 00:17:10,064 --> 00:17:11,957 No, l-I just thought I'd ask bluntly... 290 00:17:12,057 --> 00:17:13,801 in case it was the right question... 291 00:17:13,901 --> 00:17:16,769 and you needed someone to talk to about it... 292 00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:18,765 and no one had ever asked you. 293 00:17:18,865 --> 00:17:23,661 No. No. No is the answer. Absolutely not. 294 00:17:23,745 --> 00:17:25,745 .. on my finger... 295 00:17:25,788 --> 00:17:27,649 So that's a no, then? 296 00:17:27,749 --> 00:17:29,876 Yes. Erm... 297 00:17:29,959 --> 00:17:32,420 Bye bye baby, baby goodbye 298 00:17:32,503 --> 00:17:34,530 Goodbye baby, baby bye bye... 299 00:17:34,630 --> 00:17:37,508 This DJ, what do you reckon? 300 00:17:37,592 --> 00:17:40,470 The worst in history? - Probably. 301 00:17:40,553 --> 00:17:42,956 I think it all hangs on the next song. 302 00:17:43,056 --> 00:17:45,041 Now here's one for the lovers. 303 00:17:45,141 --> 00:17:46,763 That's quite a few of you, 304 00:17:46,863 --> 00:17:49,128 I shouldn't be surprised and a half. 305 00:17:49,228 --> 00:17:51,693 ( S Club Juniors: Puppy Love) 306 00:17:52,940 --> 00:17:55,234 And they called it... 307 00:17:55,318 --> 00:18:00,448 He's done it, it's official. - Worst DJ in the world. 308 00:18:00,531 --> 00:18:04,660 Oh, I guess they'll never know... 309 00:18:04,744 --> 00:18:07,121 (Knocks) 310 00:18:08,039 --> 00:18:10,079 Sarah's waiting for you. 311 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,503 Oh, yes, of course, erm... 312 00:18:14,253 --> 00:18:16,547 Great, er, good, good. 313 00:18:16,631 --> 00:18:18,098 How are you doing, Mia? 314 00:18:18,198 --> 00:18:20,785 Settling in fine? Learning who to avoid? 315 00:18:20,885 --> 00:18:22,885 Absolutely. 316 00:18:24,931 --> 00:18:26,708 Harry? - Sarah, 317 00:18:26,808 --> 00:18:30,372 switch off your phone and tell me exactly... 318 00:18:30,472 --> 00:18:34,297 how long it is that you've been working here. 319 00:18:36,693 --> 00:18:39,612 Two years, seven months, 320 00:18:39,696 --> 00:18:42,348 three days and, I suppose, what, two hours? 321 00:18:42,448 --> 00:18:45,276 And how long have you been in love... 322 00:18:45,376 --> 00:18:48,438 with Karl, our enigmatic chief designer? 323 00:18:48,538 --> 00:18:50,581 Um... 324 00:18:53,543 --> 00:18:55,934 Two years, seven months, three days... 325 00:18:56,034 --> 00:18:58,489 and, I suppose, an hour and 30 minutes. 326 00:18:58,589 --> 00:19:00,241 Thought as much. 327 00:19:00,341 --> 00:19:02,072 Do you think everybody knows? 328 00:19:02,172 --> 00:19:02,368 Yes. 329 00:19:02,468 --> 00:19:05,018 Do you think Karl knows? - Yes. 330 00:19:05,847 --> 00:19:08,808 Oh, that is... that is bad news. 331 00:19:08,891 --> 00:19:11,853 I just thought that maybe the time... 332 00:19:11,953 --> 00:19:14,843 had come to do something about it. 333 00:19:15,398 --> 00:19:17,842 Like what? - lnvite him out for a drink... 334 00:19:17,942 --> 00:19:20,544 then casually mention you'd like to marry... 335 00:19:20,644 --> 00:19:22,764 him and have lots of sex and babies. 336 00:19:22,864 --> 00:19:25,199 You know that? - Yes. 337 00:19:26,451 --> 00:19:28,703 And so does Karl. 338 00:19:28,786 --> 00:19:31,230 Think about it, for all our sakes. 339 00:19:31,330 --> 00:19:33,875 It's Christmas. 340 00:19:35,334 --> 00:19:38,838 Certainly. Excellent. Will do. 341 00:19:38,921 --> 00:19:41,090 Thanks, boss. 342 00:19:42,717 --> 00:19:44,969 Hi, Sarah. - Hi, Karl. 343 00:19:49,015 --> 00:19:51,334 ( On radio: Christmas Is All Around)... 344 00:19:51,434 --> 00:19:53,478 (Mobile) 345 00:19:55,646 --> 00:19:58,858 Babe. Absolutely, fire away. 346 00:20:00,026 --> 00:20:03,001 Mia, Mia, would you turn that down? 347 00:20:04,322 --> 00:20:06,015 What is that? 348 00:20:06,115 --> 00:20:07,879 That was the Christmas effort... 349 00:20:07,979 --> 00:20:09,686 from the once great Billy Mack. 350 00:20:09,786 --> 00:20:12,689 Oh, dear me, how are the mighty fallen. 351 00:20:12,789 --> 00:20:16,224 I can safely say that is the worst record 352 00:20:16,324 --> 00:20:18,403 I've heard this century... 353 00:20:18,503 --> 00:20:20,112 Oh, and coincidentally, 354 00:20:20,212 --> 00:20:22,615 I believe Billy will be a guest... 355 00:20:22,715 --> 00:20:26,035 on my friend Mike's show in a few minutes' time. 356 00:20:26,135 --> 00:20:28,679 Welcome back, Bill. 357 00:20:28,763 --> 00:20:30,790 Billy, welcome back to the airwaves. 358 00:20:30,890 --> 00:20:34,043 New Christmas single, cover of Love Is All Around. 359 00:20:34,143 --> 00:20:36,367 Except we've changed... 360 00:20:36,467 --> 00:20:39,482 the word 'love' to 'Christmas'. 361 00:20:39,524 --> 00:20:41,577 Yes, is that an important message... 362 00:20:41,677 --> 00:20:42,677 to you, Bill? 363 00:20:42,777 --> 00:20:45,238 (Snorts) Not really, Mike. 364 00:20:45,321 --> 00:20:47,260 Christmas is a time for people... 365 00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:49,601 with someone they love in their lives. 366 00:20:49,701 --> 00:20:52,145 And that's not you? - That's not me, Michael. 367 00:20:52,245 --> 00:20:54,335 When I was young and successful, 368 00:20:54,435 --> 00:20:56,190 I was greedy and foolish... 369 00:20:56,290 --> 00:20:58,735 and now I'm left with no one, 370 00:20:58,835 --> 00:21:00,403 wrinkled and alone. 371 00:21:00,503 --> 00:21:03,197 Wow. Thanks for that, Bill. - For what? 372 00:21:03,297 --> 00:21:06,117 For actually giving a real answer to a question. 373 00:21:06,217 --> 00:21:07,957 It doesn't often happen here... 374 00:21:08,057 --> 00:21:09,912 at Radio Watford, I can tell you. 375 00:21:10,012 --> 00:21:12,357 Ask me anything, I'll tell you the truth. 376 00:21:12,457 --> 00:21:13,750 Best shag you ever had? 377 00:21:13,850 --> 00:21:16,561 Britney Spears. - Wow. 378 00:21:16,644 --> 00:21:18,880 No, only kidding. (Snorts)... 379 00:21:18,980 --> 00:21:21,341 She was rubbish. - OK, here's one. 380 00:21:21,441 --> 00:21:23,611 How do you think the new record... 381 00:21:23,711 --> 00:21:26,012 compares to your old, classic stuff? 382 00:21:26,112 --> 00:21:28,520 Come on, Mikey, you know as well as I do... 383 00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:29,599 the record's crap. 384 00:21:29,699 --> 00:21:31,351 (Bill laughing) 385 00:21:31,451 --> 00:21:32,985 But wouldn't it be great... 386 00:21:33,085 --> 00:21:34,854 if number one this Christmas... 387 00:21:34,954 --> 00:21:37,231 wasn't some smug teenager... 388 00:21:37,331 --> 00:21:39,169 but an old ex-heroin addict... 389 00:21:39,269 --> 00:21:41,611 searching for a comeback at any price? 390 00:21:41,711 --> 00:21:43,610 Those young popsters come Christmas... 391 00:21:43,710 --> 00:21:45,198 will be stretched out naked... 392 00:21:45,298 --> 00:21:47,951 with a cute bird balancing on their balls... 393 00:21:48,051 --> 00:21:50,361 and I'll be stuck in some dingy flat... 394 00:21:50,461 --> 00:21:51,621 with me manager Joe, 395 00:21:51,721 --> 00:21:53,846 ugliest man in the world, 396 00:21:53,890 --> 00:21:55,829 fucking miserable because... 397 00:21:55,929 --> 00:21:58,294 our fucking gamble didn't pay off. 398 00:21:58,394 --> 00:22:00,998 So if you believe in Father Christmas, 399 00:22:01,098 --> 00:22:03,633 children, like your Uncle Billy does, 400 00:22:03,733 --> 00:22:07,487 buy my festering turd of a record. 401 00:22:07,570 --> 00:22:10,556 And particularly enjoy the incredible crassness... 402 00:22:10,656 --> 00:22:12,658 of the moment we try to squeeze... 403 00:22:12,758 --> 00:22:15,061 an extra syllable into the fourth line. 404 00:22:15,161 --> 00:22:17,397 I think you're referring to... 405 00:22:17,497 --> 00:22:19,774 'lf you really love Christmas...' 406 00:22:19,874 --> 00:22:23,086 'Come on and let it snow.' Ouch. 407 00:22:23,169 --> 00:22:25,196 So, here it is one more time, 408 00:22:25,296 --> 00:22:27,174 the dark horse for this year's 409 00:22:27,274 --> 00:22:28,574 Christmas number one, 410 00:22:28,674 --> 00:22:30,318 Christmas Is All Around. 411 00:22:30,418 --> 00:22:33,121 Thank you, Billy. After this, the news. 412 00:22:33,221 --> 00:22:36,791 Is the new prime minister in trouble already? 413 00:22:36,891 --> 00:22:40,895 I feel it in my fingers I feel it in my toes... 414 00:22:41,896 --> 00:22:44,507 OK. What's next? - The President's visit. 415 00:22:44,607 --> 00:22:47,569 Ah, yes, yes. I fear this is going to be... 416 00:22:47,669 --> 00:22:49,721 a difficult one to play. Alex. 417 00:22:49,821 --> 00:22:51,833 There's a strong feeling in the party... 418 00:22:51,933 --> 00:22:54,100 we mustn't allow ourselves to be bullied... 419 00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:56,686 like the last government. - (All) Here, here. 420 00:22:56,786 --> 00:22:59,496 This is our first really important test, 421 00:22:59,596 --> 00:23:00,857 let's take a stand. 422 00:23:00,957 --> 00:23:03,795 Right. Right. I understand that... 423 00:23:03,895 --> 00:23:05,895 but I have decided... 424 00:23:07,213 --> 00:23:09,257 not to. Not this time. 425 00:23:09,340 --> 00:23:11,231 Let's not forget that America... 426 00:23:11,331 --> 00:23:13,828 is the most powerful country in the world. 427 00:23:13,928 --> 00:23:17,583 I'm not going to act like a petulant child. 428 00:23:18,516 --> 00:23:21,561 Who do you have to screw round here... 429 00:23:21,661 --> 00:23:24,551 to get a cup of tea and a biscuit? 430 00:23:29,277 --> 00:23:31,012 Right. 431 00:23:31,112 --> 00:23:32,805 (Knocking) 432 00:23:32,905 --> 00:23:35,033 Yeah, come in. 433 00:23:39,287 --> 00:23:40,798 These are from the Treasury... 434 00:23:40,898 --> 00:23:41,898 Uh-huh. 435 00:23:41,998 --> 00:23:45,084 .. and these are for you. 436 00:23:45,168 --> 00:23:46,903 Excellent. Thanks a lot. 437 00:23:47,003 --> 00:23:48,679 I was hoping you'd win, not that 438 00:23:48,779 --> 00:23:51,157 I wouldn't have been nice to the other bloke, 439 00:23:51,257 --> 00:23:53,948 just always given him the boring biscuits... 440 00:23:54,048 --> 00:23:55,119 with no chocolate. 441 00:23:55,219 --> 00:23:57,514 Thanks very much. Thanks... 442 00:23:58,765 --> 00:24:00,892 Natalie. 443 00:24:05,396 --> 00:24:07,471 God, come on, get a grip. 444 00:24:07,571 --> 00:24:11,141 You're the Prime Minister, for God's sake. 445 00:24:12,278 --> 00:24:14,764 So what do you reckon to our new prime minister? 446 00:24:14,864 --> 00:24:17,354 Oh, I like him. I can't understand... 447 00:24:17,454 --> 00:24:19,394 why he's not married, though. 448 00:24:19,494 --> 00:24:22,605 You know the type, he's married to his job. 449 00:24:22,705 --> 00:24:25,935 Either that or gay as a picnic basket. 450 00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:27,767 Excuse me, Judy, if you could... 451 00:24:27,867 --> 00:24:29,237 just lower the nipples... 452 00:24:29,337 --> 00:24:31,467 and cheat them a bit to the left? 453 00:24:31,567 --> 00:24:33,567 OK. 454 00:24:35,093 --> 00:24:37,662 I have to say, Judy, this is a real pleasure, 455 00:24:37,762 --> 00:24:41,416 it's lovely to find someone I can actually chat to. 456 00:24:41,516 --> 00:24:43,543 Thank you. - Oh, well, you know. 457 00:24:43,643 --> 00:24:45,336 And ditto. - Thank you. 458 00:24:45,436 --> 00:24:47,755 The move again, please, Judy. 459 00:24:47,855 --> 00:24:48,855 Ooh, sorry. 460 00:24:48,955 --> 00:24:51,510 Oh, God, sorry. You all right? 461 00:24:53,486 --> 00:24:56,531 Exciting news. - What? 462 00:24:56,614 --> 00:24:58,542 I've bought a ticket to the States. 463 00:24:58,642 --> 00:24:59,892 I'm off in three weeks. 464 00:24:59,992 --> 00:25:01,394 No. - Yes. 465 00:25:01,494 --> 00:25:04,523 To a fantastic place called Wisconsin. 466 00:25:04,623 --> 00:25:05,607 No. 467 00:25:05,707 --> 00:25:09,335 Yes. Wisconsin babes, here comes Sir Colin. 468 00:25:09,419 --> 00:25:12,473 No, Col. There are a few babes in America, 469 00:25:12,573 --> 00:25:13,573 I grant you, 470 00:25:13,673 --> 00:25:16,409 but they're going out with rich, attractive guys. 471 00:25:16,509 --> 00:25:19,721 Tone, you're just jealous. 472 00:25:19,804 --> 00:25:21,400 You know perfectly well... 473 00:25:21,500 --> 00:25:23,666 that any bar anywhere in America... 474 00:25:23,766 --> 00:25:25,839 contains ten girls more beautiful... 475 00:25:25,939 --> 00:25:28,129 and more likely to have sex with me... 476 00:25:28,229 --> 00:25:30,550 than the whole of the United Kingdom. 477 00:25:30,650 --> 00:25:32,842 That is total bollocks. You're mad. 478 00:25:32,942 --> 00:25:36,070 No, I'm wise. Stateside I am Prince William... 479 00:25:36,170 --> 00:25:37,847 without the weird family. 480 00:25:37,947 --> 00:25:40,199 No, Colin, no. - Yes. 481 00:25:40,283 --> 00:25:41,434 Nyet. - Da. 482 00:25:41,534 --> 00:25:42,852 Nein. - Ja, darling. 483 00:25:42,952 --> 00:25:44,461 Right, the Christmas party, 484 00:25:44,561 --> 00:25:46,648 not my favourite night of the year... 485 00:25:46,748 --> 00:25:49,067 and your unhappy job to organise. 486 00:25:49,167 --> 00:25:52,128 Tell me. - It's basic, really. 487 00:25:52,211 --> 00:25:54,464 Find a venue, over-order on the drinks, 488 00:25:54,564 --> 00:25:55,990 bulk buy the guacamole... 489 00:25:56,090 --> 00:25:58,061 and advise the girls to avoid Kevin... 490 00:25:58,161 --> 00:26:00,078 if they want their breasts unfondled. 491 00:26:00,178 --> 00:26:04,624 Wives and family and stuff? - Yeah. I mean, not children. 492 00:26:04,724 --> 00:26:08,379 But their wives and girlfriends, et cetera. 493 00:26:08,394 --> 00:26:11,259 Oh, Christ, you haven't got some horrible... 494 00:26:11,359 --> 00:26:12,992 six-foot, tight-T - shirt-wearing... 495 00:26:13,092 --> 00:26:14,092 boyfriend? 496 00:26:14,192 --> 00:26:18,052 No. I'll just be hanging around the mistletoe, 497 00:26:18,152 --> 00:26:20,152 hoping to be kissed. 498 00:26:20,323 --> 00:26:23,034 Really? 499 00:26:23,117 --> 00:26:25,161 Right. 500 00:26:34,545 --> 00:26:36,655 He now spends all the time in his room. 501 00:26:36,755 --> 00:26:38,366 I mean, he'll be up there now. 502 00:26:38,466 --> 00:26:41,020 That's not unusual. My horrid son... 503 00:26:41,120 --> 00:26:42,120 Bernard? 504 00:26:42,220 --> 00:26:45,434 Bernard. Stays in his room all the time. 505 00:26:45,534 --> 00:26:46,708 Thank goodness. 506 00:26:46,808 --> 00:26:50,038 Yeah, but Karen, this is all the time. 507 00:26:51,104 --> 00:26:53,563 I'm afraid that there's something... 508 00:26:53,663 --> 00:26:55,216 really wrong, you know? 509 00:26:55,316 --> 00:26:57,343 I mean, clearly it's about his mum... 510 00:26:57,443 --> 00:27:00,286 but Christ, he might be injecting heroin... 511 00:27:00,386 --> 00:27:02,557 into his eyeballs for all I know. 512 00:27:02,657 --> 00:27:04,392 (Karen) At the age of 1 1? 513 00:27:04,492 --> 00:27:07,282 (Daniel) Well, maybe not his eyeballs, then. 514 00:27:07,382 --> 00:27:08,688 Maybe just his veins. 515 00:27:08,788 --> 00:27:10,771 The problem is his mum... 516 00:27:10,871 --> 00:27:14,611 always used to talk to him, you know, and... 517 00:27:14,877 --> 00:27:17,884 I don't know, this whole stepfather thing... 518 00:27:17,984 --> 00:27:20,158 seems suddenly to somehow matter 519 00:27:20,258 --> 00:27:22,510 Iike it never did before. 520 00:27:22,593 --> 00:27:25,627 Listen, it was always going to be... 521 00:27:25,727 --> 00:27:27,373 a totally shit time. 522 00:27:27,473 --> 00:27:30,017 Just be patient. 523 00:27:30,101 --> 00:27:32,420 And maybe check the room for needles. 524 00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:35,243 And then when he sometimes does... 525 00:27:35,343 --> 00:27:38,743 come out, it's obvious he's been crying. 526 00:27:46,701 --> 00:27:50,204 It's just such a ridiculous waste. 527 00:27:50,288 --> 00:27:54,538 And now if it's going to ruin Sam's life as well... 528 00:27:54,834 --> 00:27:57,670 I just don't know. 529 00:27:57,754 --> 00:28:00,423 Get a grip. 530 00:28:00,506 --> 00:28:02,675 People hate sissies. 531 00:28:02,759 --> 00:28:04,533 No one's ever gonna shag you... 532 00:28:04,633 --> 00:28:05,995 if you cry all the time. 533 00:28:06,095 --> 00:28:09,015 Yeah. Absolutely. 534 00:28:09,098 --> 00:28:11,142 Helpful. 535 00:28:18,858 --> 00:28:22,695 So, what's the problem, Samuel? 536 00:28:24,614 --> 00:28:29,410 Is it just Mum or is it something else, huh? 537 00:28:30,828 --> 00:28:32,955 Maybe school? 538 00:28:34,165 --> 00:28:36,165 Are you being bullied? 539 00:28:37,210 --> 00:28:39,379 Or is it something worse? 540 00:28:41,214 --> 00:28:44,019 Can you give me any clues at all? 541 00:28:45,093 --> 00:28:48,288 You really want to know? - I really want to know. 542 00:28:48,388 --> 00:28:50,915 Even though you won't be able to help? 543 00:28:51,015 --> 00:28:53,601 Even if that's the case, yeah. 544 00:28:55,645 --> 00:28:58,064 OK. Well... 545 00:28:59,273 --> 00:29:02,026 truth is, actually... 546 00:29:03,111 --> 00:29:04,971 I'm in love. 547 00:29:05,071 --> 00:29:06,639 Sorry? 548 00:29:06,739 --> 00:29:08,780 I know I should be thinking... 549 00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:11,269 about Mum and I am but I'm in love. 550 00:29:11,369 --> 00:29:12,960 I was before she died... 551 00:29:13,060 --> 00:29:15,607 and there's nothing I can do about it. 552 00:29:15,707 --> 00:29:18,652 Aren't you a bit young to be in love? 553 00:29:18,752 --> 00:29:19,736 No. 554 00:29:19,836 --> 00:29:22,839 Ah, well. OK, well... 555 00:29:24,716 --> 00:29:27,218 I'm a little relieved. 556 00:29:28,344 --> 00:29:30,471 Why? - Because l... 557 00:29:30,555 --> 00:29:32,665 thought it'd be something worse. 558 00:29:32,765 --> 00:29:35,752 Worse than the total agony of being in love? 559 00:29:35,852 --> 00:29:38,521 Er... 560 00:29:38,563 --> 00:29:41,232 No, you're right. 561 00:29:41,315 --> 00:29:43,443 Total agony. 562 00:30:20,521 --> 00:30:22,816 Night, Sarah. - Night, Karl. 563 00:30:27,195 --> 00:30:29,238 (Mobile) 564 00:30:32,617 --> 00:30:34,660 Yeah, absolutely. 565 00:30:35,787 --> 00:30:37,997 Free as a bird. Fire away. 566 00:31:09,529 --> 00:31:11,656 Alone again. 567 00:31:12,949 --> 00:31:14,601 Naturally. 568 00:31:14,701 --> 00:31:16,828 I'll deal with it. - Mm. 569 00:31:17,954 --> 00:31:21,499 Ah. Natalie. - Sir. 570 00:31:23,501 --> 00:31:25,069 Thanks. 571 00:31:25,169 --> 00:31:27,213 Natalie. 572 00:31:29,549 --> 00:31:32,260 Erm, I'm starting to feel... 573 00:31:33,469 --> 00:31:35,069 uncomfortable about us... 574 00:31:35,169 --> 00:31:37,165 working so closely every day... 575 00:31:37,265 --> 00:31:40,190 and me knowing so little about you, 576 00:31:40,290 --> 00:31:42,585 it seems elitist and wrong. 577 00:31:42,937 --> 00:31:44,714 Well, there's not much to know. 578 00:31:44,814 --> 00:31:48,301 Well, erm, where do you live, for instance? 579 00:31:48,401 --> 00:31:50,611 Wandsworth. The dodgy end. 580 00:31:50,653 --> 00:31:52,890 Ah, my sister lives in Wandsworth. 581 00:31:52,990 --> 00:31:54,990 Oh. 582 00:31:55,283 --> 00:31:57,810 So which exactly is the dodgy end? 583 00:31:57,910 --> 00:31:59,459 At the end of the high street, 584 00:31:59,559 --> 00:32:01,481 Harris Street, near the Queen's Head. 585 00:32:01,581 --> 00:32:03,300 Oh, yeah, yeah, that is dodgy. 586 00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:04,400 Hm. 587 00:32:04,500 --> 00:32:06,187 Erm, and you live... 588 00:32:06,287 --> 00:32:08,755 with your husband? Boyfriend? 589 00:32:10,048 --> 00:32:11,892 Three illegitimate but charming children? 590 00:32:11,992 --> 00:32:12,992 No. 591 00:32:13,092 --> 00:32:15,320 I've just split up with my boyfriend, so 592 00:32:15,420 --> 00:32:17,705 I'm back with my mum and dad for a while. 593 00:32:17,805 --> 00:32:22,101 Ah. Sorry. - No, it's fine. 594 00:32:22,185 --> 00:32:24,604 I'm well shot of him. 595 00:32:24,687 --> 00:32:27,465 He said I was getting fat. - I beg your pardon? 596 00:32:27,565 --> 00:32:29,352 He said no one'd fancy a girl... 597 00:32:29,452 --> 00:32:31,469 with thighs the size of tree trunks. 598 00:32:31,569 --> 00:32:34,714 Not a nice guy, actually, in the end. 599 00:32:35,531 --> 00:32:37,575 No. 600 00:32:44,624 --> 00:32:46,793 You know, erm... 601 00:32:47,460 --> 00:32:49,195 being Prime Minister, 602 00:32:49,295 --> 00:32:51,781 I could just have him murdered. 603 00:32:51,881 --> 00:32:54,325 Thank you, sir. I'll think about it. 604 00:32:54,425 --> 00:32:58,346 Do. The SAS are absolutely charming. 605 00:32:58,429 --> 00:33:02,849 Ruthless, trained killers are just a phone call away. 606 00:33:08,106 --> 00:33:10,149 Oh, God. 607 00:33:12,819 --> 00:33:15,709 Did you have this kind of problem? 608 00:33:17,615 --> 00:33:20,184 Yeah, course you did, you saucy minx. 609 00:33:20,284 --> 00:33:23,688 So, let's go. We can definitely crack this. 610 00:33:23,788 --> 00:33:25,982 Remember, I was a kid once, too. 611 00:33:26,082 --> 00:33:30,461 So, come on, it's someone at school. Right? 612 00:33:30,545 --> 00:33:32,405 Yeah. - Uh-huh. Good, good. 613 00:33:32,505 --> 00:33:35,575 And what does she, he, feel about you? 614 00:33:35,675 --> 00:33:38,594 SHE doesn't even know my name. 615 00:33:38,678 --> 00:33:41,456 And even if she did, she'd despise me. 616 00:33:41,556 --> 00:33:43,875 She's the coolest girl in school. 617 00:33:43,975 --> 00:33:48,062 And everyone worships her because she's heaven. 618 00:33:48,146 --> 00:33:50,648 Good. Good. 619 00:33:51,941 --> 00:33:54,068 Well, 620 00:33:54,152 --> 00:33:57,212 basically you're fucked, aren't you? 621 00:33:57,822 --> 00:34:01,409 ( All I Want For Christmas Is You) 622 00:34:03,077 --> 00:34:05,538 Hi there and welcome back. 623 00:34:05,621 --> 00:34:07,891 So, three weeks till Christmas, looks like... 624 00:34:07,991 --> 00:34:09,901 the real competition is gonna be Blue. 625 00:34:10,001 --> 00:34:12,008 I saw them on the show last week. 626 00:34:12,108 --> 00:34:14,489 They weren't very nice about my record. 627 00:34:14,589 --> 00:34:16,966 No. Little scamps. 628 00:34:17,050 --> 00:34:20,470 But very, very talented musicians. 629 00:34:20,553 --> 00:34:22,996 Yeah. I understand you've got a prize... 630 00:34:23,096 --> 00:34:24,791 for our competition winners. 631 00:34:24,891 --> 00:34:26,334 Yes, I have, Ant or Dec. 632 00:34:26,434 --> 00:34:30,438 It's a personalised felt-tip pen. 633 00:34:30,521 --> 00:34:32,131 Oh, great. 634 00:34:32,231 --> 00:34:35,985 It's brilliant. It even writes on glass, 635 00:34:36,069 --> 00:34:38,288 so if you've got a framed picture, 636 00:34:38,388 --> 00:34:40,807 like, for instance, this one of Blue, 637 00:34:40,907 --> 00:34:43,032 you can just write on it. 638 00:34:55,046 --> 00:34:56,614 (Kids snickering)... 639 00:34:56,714 --> 00:34:59,374 (Dec) Er, a lot of kids watching, Billy. 640 00:34:59,474 --> 00:35:00,576 (Billy) Oh, yeah. 641 00:35:00,676 --> 00:35:03,513 Hiya, kids. 642 00:35:03,596 --> 00:35:05,380 Here's an important message... 643 00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:06,958 from your Uncle Bill -... 644 00:35:07,058 --> 00:35:09,185 don't buy drugs. 645 00:35:11,187 --> 00:35:12,302 Become a pop star... 646 00:35:12,402 --> 00:35:14,215 and they give you them for free. 647 00:35:14,315 --> 00:35:17,105 And I do believe it's a commercial break. 648 00:35:17,205 --> 00:35:19,095 We'll see you soon. Bye-bye. 649 00:35:19,195 --> 00:35:23,991 All I want for Christmas is you... 650 00:35:31,249 --> 00:35:35,378 Look at him. Eurh. - Just a minute. 651 00:35:35,461 --> 00:35:38,946 Actually, they're not funny. They're art. 652 00:35:39,257 --> 00:35:41,426 (Laughing) 653 00:35:42,552 --> 00:35:45,246 OK, let's say, er, Thursday, my place. 654 00:35:45,346 --> 00:35:47,791 Great. I've got Juliet on the other line, 655 00:35:47,891 --> 00:35:49,667 she wants to ask you a favour. 656 00:35:49,767 --> 00:35:54,731 (Sighing) OK, fine. - Thanks and, er, be nice. 657 00:35:54,814 --> 00:35:56,139 I'm always nice. 658 00:35:56,239 --> 00:35:59,894 'You know what I mean, Marky, be friendly.' 659 00:35:59,986 --> 00:36:02,305 I'm always... - (Juliet) 'Mark?' 660 00:36:02,405 --> 00:36:05,324 Hi. How was the honeymoon? 661 00:36:05,408 --> 00:36:06,148 It was great. 662 00:36:06,248 --> 00:36:08,144 Thanks for the gorgeous sendoff. 663 00:36:08,244 --> 00:36:11,814 So, what can I do for you? - 'It's only a tiny favour.' 664 00:36:11,914 --> 00:36:13,757 I've just tried the wedding video... 665 00:36:13,857 --> 00:36:14,859 and it's a disaster. 666 00:36:14,959 --> 00:36:16,887 'It's come out all blue and wibbly.' 667 00:36:16,987 --> 00:36:17,987 I'm sorry. 668 00:36:18,087 --> 00:36:19,703 I remember you filming a lot... 669 00:36:19,803 --> 00:36:21,741 and I wondered if I could look at it. 670 00:36:21,841 --> 00:36:23,910 To be honest, I didn't really... 671 00:36:24,010 --> 00:36:26,258 Please. All I want is one shot of me... 672 00:36:26,358 --> 00:36:28,665 in a wedding dress that isn't turquoise. 673 00:36:28,765 --> 00:36:31,897 I'll have a look but I'm pretty sure I wiped it, 674 00:36:31,997 --> 00:36:33,670 so don't get any hopes up. 675 00:36:33,770 --> 00:36:36,606 'Must go.' - (Click) 676 00:36:41,277 --> 00:36:44,055 Any progress with our matchmaking plans? 677 00:36:44,155 --> 00:36:46,368 No. I've done fuck-all and never will... 678 00:36:46,468 --> 00:36:48,059 because he's too good for me. 679 00:36:48,159 --> 00:36:50,203 How true. 680 00:36:51,662 --> 00:36:53,706 (Sarah) Stop. - (Mobile) 681 00:36:53,790 --> 00:36:56,510 And of course, your mobile goes. 682 00:36:57,043 --> 00:36:59,712 Hello. Hi. How you doing? 683 00:37:00,797 --> 00:37:02,558 So, how's the Christmas party going? 684 00:37:02,658 --> 00:37:03,658 Good. 685 00:37:03,758 --> 00:37:05,927 Think I've found a venue. 686 00:37:06,010 --> 00:37:09,389 What's it like? - Good. Good. 687 00:37:09,472 --> 00:37:12,989 It's an art gallery. Full of dark corners... 688 00:37:13,089 --> 00:37:15,089 for doing dark deeds. 689 00:37:16,437 --> 00:37:19,774 Oh. Right. 690 00:37:19,857 --> 00:37:21,949 Good. Well, I suppose I should... 691 00:37:22,049 --> 00:37:24,012 take a look at it or something. 692 00:37:24,112 --> 00:37:26,197 You should. 693 00:37:33,996 --> 00:37:36,040 (Typewriter clacking)... 694 00:37:36,874 --> 00:37:38,918 (Bell tinkles) 695 00:37:45,299 --> 00:37:46,826 Ah, bonjour, Eleonore. 696 00:37:46,926 --> 00:37:49,746 Bonjour, Monsieur Bennett. Welcome back. 697 00:37:49,846 --> 00:37:51,914 And this year you bring a lady guest? 698 00:37:52,014 --> 00:37:55,209 No. There's a change of situation. Just me. 699 00:37:55,309 --> 00:37:57,254 Oh. Am I sad or not sad? 700 00:37:57,354 --> 00:37:59,714 I think you're not surprised. 701 00:37:59,814 --> 00:38:01,785 And you stay here till Christmas? 702 00:38:01,885 --> 00:38:02,508 Yeah, yeah. 703 00:38:02,608 --> 00:38:04,767 Good. Well, I find you... 704 00:38:04,867 --> 00:38:07,822 a perfect lady to clean the house. 705 00:38:07,905 --> 00:38:10,450 This is Aurelia. 706 00:38:10,533 --> 00:38:12,533 Ah. 707 00:38:12,535 --> 00:38:16,581 Er, bonjour, Aurelia. - Bonjour. 708 00:38:16,664 --> 00:38:20,179 (French) Er, je suis, er, tr�s heureux... 709 00:38:20,279 --> 00:38:22,279 de vous avoir ici. 710 00:38:22,587 --> 00:38:25,717 Unfortunately, she cannot speak French, 711 00:38:25,817 --> 00:38:26,908 just like you. 712 00:38:27,008 --> 00:38:29,008 She's Portuguese. 713 00:38:29,010 --> 00:38:31,596 (ltalian) Ah, ah, buongiorno. 714 00:38:31,679 --> 00:38:33,679 Eusebio, er, er... 715 00:38:33,681 --> 00:38:36,656 (Pidgin Spanish) Er, molto bueno... 716 00:38:37,351 --> 00:38:39,664 I think she's ten years too young... 717 00:38:39,764 --> 00:38:42,340 to remember a footballer called Eusebio. 718 00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:44,801 And 'molto bueno' is Spanish. 719 00:38:44,901 --> 00:38:46,386 Right. 720 00:38:46,486 --> 00:38:49,546 Anyway, it's nice to meet you and... 721 00:38:49,822 --> 00:38:52,016 Can you drive her home after her work? 722 00:38:52,116 --> 00:38:53,548 Oh, absolutely, yes. 723 00:38:53,648 --> 00:38:55,895 Con-Con grande, er, pl-plesura. 724 00:38:55,995 --> 00:38:58,206 Which is what? Turkish? 725 00:39:05,963 --> 00:39:08,173 (Pidgin Portuguese) Bello. 726 00:39:09,675 --> 00:39:11,719 Er, bella. 727 00:39:12,929 --> 00:39:15,264 Er, mon-montagno, 728 00:39:15,348 --> 00:39:17,392 arvarez... 729 00:39:20,353 --> 00:39:22,897 No, right. Silence is golden. 730 00:39:24,982 --> 00:39:27,151 As the Tremeloes said. 731 00:39:29,028 --> 00:39:30,680 Clever guys, 732 00:39:30,780 --> 00:39:33,541 although I think the original version was... 733 00:39:33,641 --> 00:39:36,019 by Frankie Valli And The Four Seasons. 734 00:39:36,119 --> 00:39:38,119 Gr-great band. 735 00:39:38,162 --> 00:39:40,648 ( High-pitched humming: Silence Is Golden) 736 00:39:40,748 --> 00:39:43,126 Oh, shut up. 737 00:39:43,209 --> 00:39:45,545 (Cheering)... 738 00:39:53,970 --> 00:39:56,139 (Press) Mr President. 739 00:39:57,932 --> 00:39:59,212 Over here, sir. 740 00:39:59,312 --> 00:40:02,012 What will you be talking about? 741 00:40:02,103 --> 00:40:03,755 Mr President, welcome. 742 00:40:03,855 --> 00:40:05,423 It's a pleasure to meet you. 743 00:40:05,523 --> 00:40:06,523 Come through. 744 00:40:06,623 --> 00:40:08,301 I'm sorry your wife couldn't make it. 745 00:40:08,401 --> 00:40:10,538 So is she. Although she would have been... 746 00:40:10,638 --> 00:40:11,638 kind of lonely. 747 00:40:11,738 --> 00:40:13,781 Yes. Pathetic, isn't it? 748 00:40:13,865 --> 00:40:16,309 Just never been able to tie a girl down. 749 00:40:16,409 --> 00:40:19,020 Not sure that politics and dating go together. 750 00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:22,081 Really? I've never found that. 751 00:40:22,165 --> 00:40:24,433 Yeah, you're still sickeningly handsome, 752 00:40:24,533 --> 00:40:26,569 whereas I look like my Aunt Mildred. 753 00:40:26,669 --> 00:40:29,250 Very jealous of your plane, by the way. 754 00:40:29,350 --> 00:40:31,324 Thank you. We love that thing. 755 00:40:31,424 --> 00:40:33,676 Ah, Natalie. Hi. 756 00:40:33,760 --> 00:40:36,454 Morning, ma'am. How's your day so far? 757 00:40:36,554 --> 00:40:39,223 (Natalie giggles) - Excellent. 758 00:40:41,893 --> 00:40:43,132 (Sighs) My goodness, 759 00:40:43,232 --> 00:40:45,630 that's a pretty little son of a bitch. 760 00:40:45,730 --> 00:40:47,774 Did you see those pipes? 761 00:40:47,857 --> 00:40:51,027 Yeah, she's terrific. At her job. 762 00:40:51,110 --> 00:40:53,251 No, absolutely not. We cannot... 763 00:40:53,351 --> 00:40:55,765 and will not consult on that either. 764 00:40:55,865 --> 00:40:57,725 That is unexpected. 765 00:40:57,825 --> 00:41:00,286 Well, it shouldn't be. 766 00:41:00,370 --> 00:41:03,523 The last administration made it perfectly clear. 767 00:41:03,623 --> 00:41:06,442 We're being consistent with their policies. 768 00:41:06,542 --> 00:41:09,362 With all respect, they were bad policies. 769 00:41:09,462 --> 00:41:11,094 Thanks, Alex. I don't think... 770 00:41:11,194 --> 00:41:12,657 we're making progress here. 771 00:41:12,757 --> 00:41:16,636 Let's, erm... move on, shall we? 772 00:41:19,180 --> 00:41:22,558 Well, now, that was an interesting day. 773 00:41:24,185 --> 00:41:26,286 Sorry if our line was firm but there's... 774 00:41:26,386 --> 00:41:28,172 no point in tiptoeing around today, 775 00:41:28,272 --> 00:41:31,009 then just disappointing you for four years. 776 00:41:31,109 --> 00:41:34,012 I have plans and I plan to see them through. 777 00:41:34,112 --> 00:41:35,112 Absolutely. 778 00:41:35,212 --> 00:41:37,140 There is one final thing to look at. 779 00:41:37,240 --> 00:41:40,435 It's very close to my heart. Just give me a second. 780 00:41:40,535 --> 00:41:43,104 I'll give you anything you ask for. 781 00:41:43,204 --> 00:41:45,619 As long as it's not something 782 00:41:45,719 --> 00:41:47,719 I don't wanna give. 783 00:41:51,045 --> 00:41:52,697 Hi. 784 00:41:52,797 --> 00:41:54,841 Pathetic. 785 00:42:15,570 --> 00:42:19,032 It's great Scotch. 786 00:42:19,115 --> 00:42:23,036 I'll, erm... I'll be going, then. 787 00:42:24,537 --> 00:42:26,831 Er, Natalie, 788 00:42:26,914 --> 00:42:28,939 I hope to see much more of you... 789 00:42:29,039 --> 00:42:31,819 as our countries work toward a better future. 790 00:42:31,919 --> 00:42:34,380 Thank you, sir. 791 00:42:50,688 --> 00:42:52,688 Er, yes, Peter. 792 00:42:52,690 --> 00:42:54,926 Mr President, has it been a good visit? 793 00:42:55,026 --> 00:42:58,571 Very satisfactory indeed. 794 00:42:58,654 --> 00:43:01,324 We got what we came for... 795 00:43:01,366 --> 00:43:04,852 and our special relationship is still very special. 796 00:43:04,952 --> 00:43:07,455 Prime Minister? 797 00:43:07,538 --> 00:43:09,540 I love that word 'relationship'. 798 00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:12,026 Covers all manner of sins, doesn't it? 799 00:43:12,126 --> 00:43:16,036 I fear that this has become a bad relationship. 800 00:43:16,839 --> 00:43:18,469 A relationship based on... 801 00:43:18,569 --> 00:43:20,910 the President taking what he wants... 802 00:43:21,010 --> 00:43:24,296 and casually ignoring all those things... 803 00:43:24,396 --> 00:43:26,861 that really matter to, erm... 804 00:43:28,684 --> 00:43:30,728 Britain. 805 00:43:30,812 --> 00:43:34,924 We may be a small country but we're a great one, too. 806 00:43:35,024 --> 00:43:36,699 The country of Shakespeare, 807 00:43:36,799 --> 00:43:38,219 Churchill, the Beatles, 808 00:43:38,319 --> 00:43:41,514 Sean Connery, Harry Potter. - (Laughter)... 809 00:43:41,614 --> 00:43:44,559 David Beckham's right foot. - (Laughter) 810 00:43:44,659 --> 00:43:47,312 David Beckham's left foot, come to that. 811 00:43:47,412 --> 00:43:51,399 And a friend who bullies us is no longer a friend. 812 00:43:51,499 --> 00:43:53,594 And since bullies only respond to strength, 813 00:43:53,694 --> 00:43:54,694 from now onward, 814 00:43:54,794 --> 00:43:58,506 I will be prepared to be much stronger. 815 00:43:58,589 --> 00:44:01,826 And the President should be prepared for that. 816 00:44:01,926 --> 00:44:04,721 (Press clamouring) 817 00:44:11,728 --> 00:44:13,771 Mr President. 818 00:44:17,900 --> 00:44:19,900 Joe. 819 00:44:20,236 --> 00:44:22,786 It's your sister on line four. 820 00:44:23,823 --> 00:44:26,103 All right. Er, yes, I'm very busy... 821 00:44:26,203 --> 00:44:28,353 and important, how can I help you? 822 00:44:28,453 --> 00:44:30,563 Have you gone completely insane? 823 00:44:30,663 --> 00:44:32,288 You can't always be sensible. 824 00:44:32,388 --> 00:44:34,359 'You can if you're Prime Minister.' 825 00:44:34,459 --> 00:44:36,095 It's the Chancellor on the other line. 826 00:44:36,195 --> 00:44:37,195 It isn't. 827 00:44:37,295 --> 00:44:40,440 'I'll call you back.' - No, you won't. 828 00:44:41,966 --> 00:44:44,880 The trouble with being the Prime Minister's... 829 00:44:44,980 --> 00:44:47,830 sister is it puts your life into perspective. 830 00:44:47,930 --> 00:44:49,499 What did my brother do today? 831 00:44:49,599 --> 00:44:51,000 He fought for his country. 832 00:44:51,100 --> 00:44:52,349 What did I do? 833 00:44:52,449 --> 00:44:55,646 I made a papier-mach� lobster head. 834 00:44:55,730 --> 00:44:58,258 What is this we're listening to? 835 00:44:58,358 --> 00:45:00,610 Joni Mitchell. 836 00:45:00,693 --> 00:45:03,513 I can't believe you still listen to Joni Mitchell. 837 00:45:03,613 --> 00:45:07,183 I love her and true love lasts a lifetime. 838 00:45:08,618 --> 00:45:11,251 Joni Mitchell is the woman who taught... 839 00:45:11,351 --> 00:45:13,648 your cold English wife how to feel. 840 00:45:13,748 --> 00:45:16,276 Did she? Oh, well, that's good, 841 00:45:16,376 --> 00:45:19,237 I must write to her and say thanks. 842 00:45:19,337 --> 00:45:21,572 Which doll for Daisy's friend Emily? 843 00:45:21,672 --> 00:45:24,337 The one that looks like a transvestite... 844 00:45:24,437 --> 00:45:27,036 or the one that looks like a dominatrix? 845 00:45:27,136 --> 00:45:28,983 (Female DJ) 'It's almost enough... 846 00:45:29,083 --> 00:45:30,540 to make you feel patriotic, 847 00:45:30,640 --> 00:45:31,749 'so here's one... 848 00:45:31,849 --> 00:45:34,252 for our arse-kicking prime minister. 849 00:45:34,352 --> 00:45:37,005 'A golden oldie for a golden oldie.' 850 00:45:37,105 --> 00:45:39,465 ( Pointer Sisters: Jump) Hold me 851 00:45:39,565 --> 00:45:42,276 I'll give you all that you need 852 00:45:43,403 --> 00:45:46,447 Wrap your love around me 853 00:45:46,531 --> 00:45:50,184 You're so excited I can feel you getting hotter 854 00:45:50,284 --> 00:45:51,936 Oh baby 855 00:45:52,036 --> 00:45:56,624 I'll take you down, I'll take you down 856 00:45:56,708 --> 00:45:59,027 Where no one's ever gone before 857 00:45:59,127 --> 00:46:00,945 And if you want more 858 00:46:01,045 --> 00:46:05,842 If you want more, more, more 859 00:46:05,925 --> 00:46:08,678 Jump for my love 860 00:46:08,761 --> 00:46:10,622 Jump in 861 00:46:10,722 --> 00:46:12,457 And feel my touch 862 00:46:12,557 --> 00:46:16,669 Jump, if you wanna taste my kisses in the night then 863 00:46:16,769 --> 00:46:19,439 Jump for my love 864 00:46:20,648 --> 00:46:25,069 I'll take you down, I'll take you down 865 00:46:25,153 --> 00:46:26,596 Where no one's ever gone... 866 00:46:26,696 --> 00:46:28,556 (Music stops) - Yeah, erm, 867 00:46:28,656 --> 00:46:31,052 Mary, can we move the Japanese... 868 00:46:31,152 --> 00:46:33,770 ambassador to four o'clock tomorrow? 869 00:46:33,870 --> 00:46:37,440 Certainly, sir. - Terrific. Thanks so much. 870 00:46:44,797 --> 00:46:47,492 Erm. Would you like the last, er...? 871 00:46:47,592 --> 00:46:49,869 (Portuguese) Thank you very much but no. 872 00:46:49,969 --> 00:46:52,080 If you saw my sister, you'd understand why. 873 00:46:52,180 --> 00:46:54,248 That's all right, more for me. 874 00:46:54,348 --> 00:46:54,825 (Portuguese) 875 00:46:54,925 --> 00:46:56,501 Just don't go eating it all yourself, 876 00:46:56,601 --> 00:46:58,086 you're getting chubbier every day. 877 00:46:58,186 --> 00:47:00,778 I'm very lucky I've got a constitution... 878 00:47:00,878 --> 00:47:02,632 where I never put on weight. 879 00:47:02,732 --> 00:47:04,817 (Phone)... 880 00:47:04,901 --> 00:47:08,529 Hello. - (Ringing continues) 881 00:47:15,370 --> 00:47:17,830 Oop. Sorry. 882 00:47:17,914 --> 00:47:20,041 (Ringing continues) 883 00:47:21,334 --> 00:47:23,334 Hello? 884 00:47:38,893 --> 00:47:41,437 Thank you. - (Portuguese) Nao. 885 00:47:41,521 --> 00:47:44,674 Eu peco imensa desculpa. - Oh, no. Hold on. 886 00:47:44,774 --> 00:47:46,522 God, it's half the book. Oh, no. 887 00:47:46,622 --> 00:47:47,302 Que desastre. 888 00:47:47,402 --> 00:47:50,888 Just leave them, please. They're not important. 889 00:47:50,988 --> 00:47:53,658 They're not worth it. 890 00:47:53,741 --> 00:47:56,661 Stop. Stop. 891 00:47:56,744 --> 00:47:59,330 Aa-ahh. 892 00:48:00,540 --> 00:48:02,709 It's all just rubbish. 893 00:48:04,377 --> 00:48:06,504 Just leave it. 894 00:48:18,433 --> 00:48:21,644 Oh, God, she's in. 895 00:48:21,728 --> 00:48:24,839 And now she'll think I'm a total spaz... 896 00:48:24,939 --> 00:48:26,549 if I don't go in too. 897 00:48:26,649 --> 00:48:29,199 (Portuguese) Fuck - it's cold. 898 00:48:32,572 --> 00:48:34,907 Fuck - it's freezing. Fuck. 899 00:48:34,991 --> 00:48:38,306 (Portuguese) This stuff better be good. 900 00:48:38,911 --> 00:48:39,950 It's not worth it, 901 00:48:40,050 --> 00:48:41,814 this isn't bloody Shakespeare. 902 00:48:41,914 --> 00:48:43,733 (Portuguese) I don't want to drown... 903 00:48:43,833 --> 00:48:45,538 saving some shit my grandmother... 904 00:48:45,638 --> 00:48:46,569 could have written. 905 00:48:46,669 --> 00:48:48,071 Just stop. Stop. 906 00:48:48,171 --> 00:48:49,844 (Portuguese) What kind of idiot... 907 00:48:49,944 --> 00:48:50,907 doesn't make copies? 908 00:48:51,007 --> 00:48:53,047 I really must do copies. 909 00:48:54,260 --> 00:48:56,412 There'd better not be eels in here. 910 00:48:56,512 --> 00:48:59,582 (Portuguese) Try not to disturb the eels. 911 00:48:59,682 --> 00:49:01,892 Oh, what the hell is that? 912 00:49:11,903 --> 00:49:14,368 Thank you. Thank you so much. 913 00:49:18,618 --> 00:49:19,909 I know. I'll name... 914 00:49:20,009 --> 00:49:22,105 one of the characters after you. 915 00:49:22,205 --> 00:49:24,566 (Portuguese) Maybe you could name... 916 00:49:24,666 --> 00:49:26,693 one of the characters after me. 917 00:49:26,793 --> 00:49:29,921 Or give me 50% of the profits. 918 00:49:30,004 --> 00:49:33,234 Or I could give you 5% of the profits. 919 00:49:36,219 --> 00:49:39,364 (Portuguese) What kind of book is it? 920 00:49:47,814 --> 00:49:49,899 Romance? - Yes. 921 00:49:49,982 --> 00:49:50,982 It's, erm... 922 00:49:51,082 --> 00:49:52,927 (lmitates horror film sound effects) 923 00:49:53,027 --> 00:49:54,220 Ah, er... 924 00:49:54,320 --> 00:49:56,514 (Portuguese) Thr iller...crime... 925 00:49:56,614 --> 00:49:57,962 (Portuguese) Sim. 926 00:49:58,062 --> 00:50:00,560 (English) Crime. Crime, murder. 927 00:50:00,660 --> 00:50:02,353 (Portuguese) Frightening? (Gasps) 928 00:50:02,453 --> 00:50:05,540 Er, scary? Yes, sometimes scary. 929 00:50:05,623 --> 00:50:07,528 And, er, sometimes not. 930 00:50:07,628 --> 00:50:10,688 Mainly scary how bad the writing is. 931 00:50:19,303 --> 00:50:21,723 Mm. 932 00:50:23,641 --> 00:50:27,437 (Portuguese) I'd better get back to work. 933 00:50:27,520 --> 00:50:28,520 Ah. 934 00:50:28,620 --> 00:50:31,257 (Portuguese) Later you'll drive me home? 935 00:50:31,357 --> 00:50:33,401 Sure. 936 00:50:36,738 --> 00:50:39,699 It's my favourite time of day... 937 00:50:39,782 --> 00:50:41,826 driving you. 938 00:50:44,120 --> 00:50:47,058 (Portuguese) It's the saddest part... 939 00:50:47,158 --> 00:50:49,158 of my day, leaving you. 940 00:50:54,505 --> 00:50:56,505 Sorry. 941 00:51:23,451 --> 00:51:24,648 (TV 'And coming up... 942 00:51:24,748 --> 00:51:26,896 later this morning, it's this guy...' 943 00:51:26,996 --> 00:51:31,376 There's no beginning, there'll be no end... 944 00:51:31,459 --> 00:51:32,774 Cos on Christmas... 945 00:51:32,874 --> 00:51:35,196 '. he bad grandad of rock'n'roll, 946 00:51:35,296 --> 00:51:38,271 'here at 10:30. Do not switch off.' 947 00:51:43,846 --> 00:51:45,707 Banoffee pie? 948 00:51:45,807 --> 00:51:47,542 No, thanks. 949 00:51:47,642 --> 00:51:50,004 Thank God. You would've broken my heart... 950 00:51:50,104 --> 00:51:51,087 if you'd said yes. 951 00:51:51,187 --> 00:51:54,649 Right, well, lucky you. 952 00:51:54,732 --> 00:51:55,833 Can I come in? 953 00:51:55,933 --> 00:51:58,595 Er, yeah, well, I'm a bit busy... 954 00:51:58,695 --> 00:52:01,042 I was just passing and I thought... 955 00:52:01,142 --> 00:52:03,558 we might check that video thing out. 956 00:52:03,658 --> 00:52:06,561 I thought I might be able to swap it for some pie... 957 00:52:06,661 --> 00:52:08,913 or maybe Munchies? 958 00:52:08,996 --> 00:52:11,210 Actually, I was serious - I don't know... 959 00:52:11,310 --> 00:52:13,359 where it is. I'll have a look tonight. 960 00:52:13,459 --> 00:52:16,379 Mark, can I say something? 961 00:52:16,462 --> 00:52:18,506 Yeah. 962 00:52:19,590 --> 00:52:22,076 I know you're Peter's best friend... 963 00:52:22,176 --> 00:52:27,306 and I know you've never particularly warmed to me. 964 00:52:27,390 --> 00:52:30,268 Look, don't, don't argue. 965 00:52:30,351 --> 00:52:32,729 We've never got friendly. 966 00:52:32,812 --> 00:52:35,298 But I wanted to say, I hope that can change. 967 00:52:35,398 --> 00:52:37,177 I'm nice. I really am. 968 00:52:37,277 --> 00:52:40,720 Apart from my terrible taste in pie and... 969 00:52:40,820 --> 00:52:43,973 It would be great if we could be friends. 970 00:52:44,073 --> 00:52:46,117 Absolutely. Absolutely. 971 00:52:49,746 --> 00:52:52,123 Great. 972 00:52:52,206 --> 00:52:55,151 Doesn't mean we'll be able to find the video, though. 973 00:52:55,251 --> 00:52:57,603 I had a real search when you first called... 974 00:52:57,703 --> 00:52:59,072 and couldn't find it so... 975 00:52:59,172 --> 00:53:00,154 This one says... 976 00:53:00,254 --> 00:53:02,075 'Peter and Juliet's Wedding'. 977 00:53:02,175 --> 00:53:04,452 Do you think we might be on the right track? 978 00:53:04,552 --> 00:53:09,098 Er, yeah, well... Wow. That-that could be it. 979 00:53:09,182 --> 00:53:11,876 Do you mind if l...? - I've probably taped over it. 980 00:53:11,976 --> 00:53:15,546 Almost everything's episodes of West Wing. 981 00:53:16,189 --> 00:53:18,232 Oh. 982 00:53:19,859 --> 00:53:21,944 Oh, bingo. 983 00:53:23,613 --> 00:53:25,698 That's lovely. 984 00:53:25,782 --> 00:53:27,909 Well done, you. 985 00:53:29,285 --> 00:53:31,496 Oh, that's gorgeous. 986 00:53:32,955 --> 00:53:34,945 Thank you so much, Mark, 987 00:53:35,045 --> 00:53:38,275 this is exactly what I was hoping for. 988 00:53:44,050 --> 00:53:46,302 I look quite pretty. 989 00:53:53,601 --> 00:53:55,896 You've stayed rather close. 990 00:54:49,866 --> 00:54:52,118 They're all of me. 991 00:54:56,205 --> 00:54:59,333 (Mark) Yeah. Yeah. 992 00:54:59,417 --> 00:55:01,461 Yes. 993 00:55:31,657 --> 00:55:33,657 But... 994 00:55:34,744 --> 00:55:36,913 you never talk to me. 995 00:55:39,332 --> 00:55:41,457 You always talk to Peter. 996 00:55:43,961 --> 00:55:46,130 You don't like me. 997 00:55:47,382 --> 00:55:49,425 I hope it's useful. 998 00:55:49,509 --> 00:55:52,553 Don't show it around too much. 999 00:55:52,637 --> 00:55:55,807 Needs a bit of editing. 1000 00:55:55,890 --> 00:55:59,560 Look, I've got to get to a...Iunch. 1001 00:55:59,644 --> 00:56:01,644 Early lunch. 1002 00:56:01,646 --> 00:56:05,216 You can just show yourself out, can't you? 1003 00:56:10,279 --> 00:56:14,617 It's a...self-preservation thing, you see. 1004 00:56:17,662 --> 00:56:19,706 ( Dido: Here With Me) 1005 00:56:25,878 --> 00:56:28,923 Oh I am what I am 1006 00:56:29,006 --> 00:56:31,926 I'll do what I want 1007 00:56:32,009 --> 00:56:36,764 But I can't hide 1008 00:56:36,848 --> 00:56:38,975 And I won't go 1009 00:56:39,934 --> 00:56:42,729 I won't sleep 1010 00:56:42,812 --> 00:56:45,690 And I can't breathe 1011 00:56:45,773 --> 00:56:48,818 Until you're resting here with me 1012 00:56:48,901 --> 00:56:51,487 And I won't leave 1013 00:56:51,571 --> 00:56:54,323 And I can't hide 1014 00:56:54,407 --> 00:56:57,201 I cannot be 1015 00:56:57,285 --> 00:56:59,871 Until you're resting here 1016 00:56:59,954 --> 00:57:02,790 And I won't go 1017 00:57:02,874 --> 00:57:05,668 And I won't sleep 1018 00:57:05,752 --> 00:57:08,629 And I can't breathe 1019 00:57:08,713 --> 00:57:13,176 Until you're resting here with me... 1020 00:57:13,259 --> 00:57:16,137 (Knocking) - Yeah. 1021 00:57:18,514 --> 00:57:21,659 Annie, my darling, my dream, my boat. 1022 00:57:22,477 --> 00:57:24,645 Ah... 1023 00:57:24,729 --> 00:57:26,621 Need you to do a favour for me. 1024 00:57:26,721 --> 00:57:27,298 Of course. 1025 00:57:27,398 --> 00:57:30,288 Anything for the hero of the hour. 1026 00:57:31,277 --> 00:57:32,270 Don't ask me why, 1027 00:57:32,370 --> 00:57:34,222 and don't read stuff into this, 1028 00:57:34,322 --> 00:57:36,724 it's just a weird personality thing. 1029 00:57:36,824 --> 00:57:39,852 But, erm, you know Natalie who works here? 1030 00:57:39,952 --> 00:57:42,455 The chubby girl? 1031 00:57:42,538 --> 00:57:44,565 Ooh, would we call her chubby? 1032 00:57:44,665 --> 00:57:48,440 I think there's a pretty sizeable arse there, 1033 00:57:48,540 --> 00:57:50,321 yes, sir. Huge thighs. 1034 00:57:50,421 --> 00:57:53,424 Yeah. Well, whatever, erm... 1035 00:57:54,592 --> 00:57:57,053 I'm sure she's a lovely girl... 1036 00:57:57,153 --> 00:57:59,958 but I wonder if you could, erm... 1037 00:58:01,057 --> 00:58:04,060 redistribute her? 1038 00:58:04,143 --> 00:58:06,187 It's done. 1039 00:58:41,180 --> 00:58:43,307 Hey, Sammo. Can't sleep? 1040 00:58:44,058 --> 00:58:46,169 I got some terrible news today. 1041 00:58:46,269 --> 00:58:48,269 Let's have it. 1042 00:58:48,312 --> 00:58:50,068 Joanna's going back to America. 1043 00:58:50,168 --> 00:58:51,341 Your girl's American? 1044 00:58:51,441 --> 00:58:53,943 Yes, she's American. 1045 00:58:54,027 --> 00:58:56,404 And she's not my girl. 1046 00:58:56,487 --> 00:58:58,272 And she's going back to America. 1047 00:58:58,372 --> 00:59:00,558 That's the end of my life as I know it. 1048 00:59:00,658 --> 00:59:02,827 That is bad news. 1049 00:59:04,954 --> 00:59:07,415 Well, we need Kate... 1050 00:59:07,498 --> 00:59:10,793 and we need Leo, and we need them now. 1051 00:59:10,877 --> 00:59:12,877 Come on. 1052 00:59:16,382 --> 00:59:18,509 'Hold on. Hold on. 1053 00:59:18,593 --> 00:59:20,845 'Keep your eyes closed. 1054 00:59:20,928 --> 00:59:25,391 'Do you trust me?' - 'l trust you.' 1055 00:59:26,350 --> 00:59:28,936 Do you trust me? - I trust you. 1056 00:59:29,020 --> 00:59:31,606 Fool. - Get off, you big bully. 1057 00:59:34,192 --> 00:59:37,278 'All right, open your eyes.' 1058 00:59:40,448 --> 00:59:41,448 You know, Sammy, 1059 00:59:41,548 --> 00:59:44,018 I'm sure she's unique and extraordinary... 1060 00:59:44,118 --> 00:59:47,063 but general wisdom is that in the end, 1061 00:59:47,163 --> 00:59:50,818 there isn't just one person for each of us. 1062 00:59:51,709 --> 00:59:53,736 There was for Kate and Leo. 1063 00:59:53,836 --> 00:59:56,506 There was for you. 1064 00:59:56,547 --> 00:59:58,547 And there is for me. 1065 00:59:58,549 --> 01:00:00,549 She's the one. 1066 01:00:02,178 --> 01:00:05,039 Fair enough. And her name's Joanna? 1067 01:00:05,139 --> 01:00:08,309 Yeah, I know. Same as Mum. 1068 01:00:18,653 --> 01:00:21,114 (Knocking) - Yeah. 1069 01:00:24,909 --> 01:00:28,054 Prime Minister. - Thank you very much. 1070 01:00:43,177 --> 01:00:44,227 (Pidgin Portuguese) 1071 01:00:44,327 --> 01:00:45,955 Oh. Appolo... Erm, appologia. 1072 01:00:46,055 --> 01:00:48,189 Grande, er... grande familio, 1073 01:00:48,289 --> 01:00:51,252 grande tradizione de Christmas presents. 1074 01:00:51,352 --> 01:00:53,396 Stupido. 1075 01:01:19,547 --> 01:01:22,216 Well, goodbye. 1076 01:01:22,300 --> 01:01:24,385 (Portuguese) Thank you. 1077 01:01:27,472 --> 01:01:29,932 Erm, it was, erm... 1078 01:01:31,059 --> 01:01:34,062 (Portuguese) I will miss you. 1079 01:01:35,396 --> 01:01:38,274 And your very slow typing... 1080 01:01:39,400 --> 01:01:42,236 and your very bad driving. 1081 01:02:33,579 --> 01:02:35,623 (Car horn) 1082 01:02:42,922 --> 01:02:47,093 You know I love Christmas, I always will 1083 01:02:48,594 --> 01:02:53,141 My mind's made up, the way that I feel 1084 01:02:54,600 --> 01:02:59,147 There's no beginning, there'll be no end 1085 01:02:59,230 --> 01:03:04,235 Cos on Christmas you can depend 1086 01:03:10,450 --> 01:03:12,493 Daniel. 1087 01:03:13,619 --> 01:03:17,665 I have a plan. - Thank the Lord. Tell me. 1088 01:03:17,749 --> 01:03:19,718 Well, girls love musicians, don't they? 1089 01:03:19,818 --> 01:03:20,818 Uh-huh. 1090 01:03:20,918 --> 01:03:22,721 Even the weird ones get girlfriends. 1091 01:03:22,821 --> 01:03:23,821 That's right. 1092 01:03:23,921 --> 01:03:26,324 Meat Loaf definitely got laid at least once. 1093 01:03:26,424 --> 01:03:27,580 For God's sake, 1094 01:03:27,680 --> 01:03:30,203 Ringo Starr married a Bond girl. 1095 01:03:30,303 --> 01:03:32,220 Whatever. There's this big concert... 1096 01:03:32,320 --> 01:03:34,290 at the end of term and Joanna's in it. 1097 01:03:34,390 --> 01:03:36,693 I thought if I was in the band... 1098 01:03:36,793 --> 01:03:38,169 and played superbly, 1099 01:03:38,269 --> 01:03:40,161 she might fall in love with me. 1100 01:03:40,261 --> 01:03:41,339 What do you think? 1101 01:03:41,439 --> 01:03:44,259 I think it's brilliant, I think it's stellar. 1102 01:03:44,359 --> 01:03:48,221 Apart from the one obvious tiny little baby little hiccup. 1103 01:03:48,321 --> 01:03:51,046 I don't play a musical instrument? 1104 01:03:51,146 --> 01:03:52,350 Yes, sir. 1105 01:03:52,450 --> 01:03:54,560 A tiny, insignificant detail. 1106 01:03:54,660 --> 01:03:57,380 (Loud, repetitive snare hits)... 1107 01:03:57,914 --> 01:03:59,209 ( Sugababes: Too Lost In You) 1108 01:03:59,309 --> 01:04:00,233 You look into my eyes 1109 01:04:00,333 --> 01:04:03,002 I go out of my mind 1110 01:04:03,044 --> 01:04:05,044 I can't see anything 1111 01:04:05,088 --> 01:04:07,632 Cos this love's got me blind 1112 01:04:07,715 --> 01:04:10,510 I can't help myself 1113 01:04:10,593 --> 01:04:12,245 I can't break this spell 1114 01:04:12,345 --> 01:04:15,973 I can't even try 1115 01:04:17,225 --> 01:04:21,771 Baby, I'm too lost in you 1116 01:04:21,854 --> 01:04:24,023 Caught in you 1117 01:04:24,107 --> 01:04:27,568 Lost in everything about you 1118 01:04:27,652 --> 01:04:32,115 So deep I can't sleep, I can't... 1119 01:04:32,198 --> 01:04:34,892 I suppose I'd better do the duty round. 1120 01:04:34,992 --> 01:04:37,036 You're a saint. 1121 01:04:41,624 --> 01:04:43,960 (Laughs) 1122 01:04:44,043 --> 01:04:47,103 Any chance of a dance with the boss? 1123 01:04:47,755 --> 01:04:50,007 Yeah, sure, sure. 1124 01:04:50,091 --> 01:04:53,406 As long as your boyfriend doesn't mind. 1125 01:04:55,221 --> 01:04:57,223 Not my boyfriend. 1126 01:04:57,306 --> 01:04:59,434 And you're all I see 1127 01:04:59,517 --> 01:05:02,019 And you're all I need 1128 01:05:02,103 --> 01:05:04,313 Help me, baby Help me, baby 1129 01:05:04,313 --> 01:05:05,757 Help me, baby 1130 01:05:05,857 --> 01:05:11,195 Oh baby, I'm too lost in you 1131 01:05:11,237 --> 01:05:12,430 Caught in you... 1132 01:05:12,530 --> 01:05:15,505 You're looking very pretty tonight. 1133 01:05:16,909 --> 01:05:18,953 It's for you. 1134 01:05:20,413 --> 01:05:22,457 Sorry? 1135 01:05:24,917 --> 01:05:27,086 It's all for you, sir. 1136 01:05:29,005 --> 01:05:30,823 You do 1137 01:05:30,923 --> 01:05:34,052 I'm too lost in you Baby, baby 1138 01:05:34,135 --> 01:05:38,306 Baby, I'm too lost in you Yeah, yeah 1139 01:05:38,389 --> 01:05:40,808 Caught in you 1140 01:05:40,892 --> 01:05:44,062 Lost in everything about you 1141 01:05:44,145 --> 01:05:48,232 So deep I can't sleep... 1142 01:05:49,400 --> 01:05:51,594 'This must be very exciting for you, 1143 01:05:51,694 --> 01:05:54,013 fighting for the Christmas number one. 1144 01:05:54,113 --> 01:05:57,183 'How's it looking so far?' - 'Very bad indeed. 1145 01:05:57,283 --> 01:06:00,513 'Blue are outselling me five to one... 1146 01:06:00,536 --> 01:06:03,581 'but I'm hoping for a late surge. 1147 01:06:03,664 --> 01:06:06,667 'And, if I reach number one, 1148 01:06:06,751 --> 01:06:10,402 'l promise to sing a song stark naked... 1149 01:06:10,502 --> 01:06:12,673 on TV on Christmas Eve.' 1150 01:06:13,841 --> 01:06:16,494 'Do you mean that?' - 'Of course I do, Michael. 1151 01:06:16,594 --> 01:06:19,622 'Do you want a preview? You old flirt.' 1152 01:06:19,722 --> 01:06:22,058 (Parkinson laughing)... 1153 01:06:23,184 --> 01:06:25,253 'That'll never make number one.' 1154 01:06:25,353 --> 01:06:28,339 ( Justin Timberlake: Like I Love You) 1155 01:06:28,439 --> 01:06:31,843 And I burn every track Clipse and J Timberlake... 1156 01:06:31,943 --> 01:06:33,432 I suppose it's his job... 1157 01:06:33,532 --> 01:06:35,513 to dance with everyone, isn't it? 1158 01:06:35,613 --> 01:06:37,782 Some more than others. 1159 01:06:41,035 --> 01:06:43,204 Just one dance? 1160 01:06:43,287 --> 01:06:45,649 Before we run out of chances. 1161 01:06:45,749 --> 01:06:46,733 Who, me? 1162 01:06:46,833 --> 01:06:51,003 Unless you just... - No. No. Good. 1163 01:06:51,087 --> 01:06:53,214 Yes. Thanks. 1164 01:06:54,674 --> 01:06:55,806 You're a good girl 1165 01:06:55,906 --> 01:06:58,745 And that's what makes me trust you like I do 1166 01:06:58,845 --> 01:07:01,514 Late at night I talk to you 1167 01:07:01,556 --> 01:07:03,041 Hey 1168 01:07:03,141 --> 01:07:05,126 You will know the difference when... 1169 01:07:05,226 --> 01:07:07,420 (Music changes to slow tune)... 1170 01:07:07,520 --> 01:07:09,772 ( Norah Jones: Turn Me On) 1171 01:07:13,609 --> 01:07:17,572 Like a flower 1172 01:07:17,655 --> 01:07:21,701 Waiting to bloom 1173 01:07:23,870 --> 01:07:26,622 Like a light bulb 1174 01:07:27,832 --> 01:07:30,168 In a dark room 1175 01:07:32,295 --> 01:07:35,006 I'm just sitting here 1176 01:07:35,089 --> 01:07:37,800 Waiting for you 1177 01:07:37,884 --> 01:07:40,178 To come on home 1178 01:07:40,261 --> 01:07:42,305 And turn me on 1179 01:07:48,227 --> 01:07:51,105 Like the desert 1180 01:07:52,231 --> 01:07:56,986 Waiting for the rain 1181 01:07:58,112 --> 01:08:00,656 Like a schoolkid 1182 01:08:02,325 --> 01:08:05,078 Waiting for the spring 1183 01:08:06,871 --> 01:08:08,648 I'm just sitting here 1184 01:08:08,748 --> 01:08:13,753 Waiting for you to come on home 1185 01:08:13,836 --> 01:08:17,048 And turn me on 1186 01:08:17,131 --> 01:08:22,053 Turn me on 1187 01:08:22,136 --> 01:08:24,346 Well, then. I'd better go. 1188 01:08:24,389 --> 01:08:26,432 OK. 1189 01:08:27,809 --> 01:08:30,019 Good night. - Good night. 1190 01:08:47,203 --> 01:08:49,247 Actually... 1191 01:08:49,330 --> 01:08:51,608 I don't have to go. - Right. Good. 1192 01:08:51,708 --> 01:08:54,003 I mean... - No, that's good. 1193 01:08:54,836 --> 01:08:57,212 Just, erm, would you excuse me... 1194 01:08:57,312 --> 01:08:58,364 for one second? 1195 01:08:58,464 --> 01:09:01,134 Sure. - Just one second. 1196 01:09:08,558 --> 01:09:11,936 Erm, OK, that's done. Erm... 1197 01:09:13,563 --> 01:09:15,564 Why don't you come upstairs... 1198 01:09:15,664 --> 01:09:17,050 in about ten seconds? 1199 01:09:17,150 --> 01:09:19,402 Ten seconds. - Ten seconds. 1200 01:09:28,327 --> 01:09:30,538 ( Eva Cassidy: Songbird) 1201 01:09:44,218 --> 01:09:48,473 For you 1202 01:09:49,724 --> 01:09:54,520 There'll be no crying 1203 01:09:56,773 --> 01:10:02,904 For you 1204 01:10:04,530 --> 01:10:09,285 The sun will be shining 1205 01:10:09,702 --> 01:10:14,916 Cos I feel that when I'm with you 1206 01:10:16,042 --> 01:10:19,837 It's all right... 1207 01:10:19,921 --> 01:10:22,382 Just tug it. - OK. 1208 01:10:22,465 --> 01:10:27,804 I know it's right 1209 01:10:27,887 --> 01:10:31,432 And the songbirds 1210 01:10:31,516 --> 01:10:40,441 Keep singing like they know the score 1211 01:10:40,525 --> 01:10:43,761 And I love you, I love you, I love you... 1212 01:10:43,861 --> 01:10:46,572 You're beautiful. 1213 01:10:46,656 --> 01:10:51,035 Like never before... 1214 01:11:03,840 --> 01:11:05,883 (Mobile) 1215 01:11:09,887 --> 01:11:12,140 I-I'd better answer that. 1216 01:11:16,436 --> 01:11:19,605 Hello. Hi. Hello, darling. 1217 01:11:19,689 --> 01:11:22,749 No, no, I'm not busy. No, fire away. 1218 01:11:23,776 --> 01:11:25,595 Right. 1219 01:11:25,695 --> 01:11:29,682 Yes, l... I'm not quite sure it's gonna be possible... 1220 01:11:29,782 --> 01:11:33,437 to get the Pope on the phone tonight but... 1221 01:11:33,619 --> 01:11:37,268 Yes. Yes, I'm sure he's very good... 1222 01:11:37,368 --> 01:11:39,368 at exorcism but... 1223 01:11:42,670 --> 01:11:45,131 Well, I'm sure... 1224 01:11:45,214 --> 01:11:46,829 Jon Bon Jovi is as well... 1225 01:11:46,929 --> 01:11:48,993 and I'll definitely look into it. 1226 01:11:49,093 --> 01:11:52,638 OK? OK, I'll talk to you later. 1227 01:11:52,722 --> 01:11:54,766 All right, bye-bye. 1228 01:12:00,188 --> 01:12:04,067 Sorry about that. - No, it's fine. 1229 01:12:04,150 --> 01:12:08,145 It's my brother, he's not well, he calls a lot. 1230 01:12:09,113 --> 01:12:11,557 I'm sorry. - No, it's fine. It's fine. 1231 01:12:11,657 --> 01:12:14,978 I mean, it's not really fine, it is what it is, 1232 01:12:15,078 --> 01:12:17,157 and there being no parents now... 1233 01:12:17,257 --> 01:12:18,690 and us being over here, 1234 01:12:18,790 --> 01:12:21,108 it's my job to keep an eye on him. 1235 01:12:21,208 --> 01:12:24,153 Not my job, obviously, I'm glad to do it... 1236 01:12:24,253 --> 01:12:26,304 That's OK. Life is full... 1237 01:12:26,404 --> 01:12:29,379 of interruptions and complications. 1238 01:12:31,677 --> 01:12:33,677 So... 1239 01:12:45,149 --> 01:12:47,193 (Mobile) 1240 01:12:50,196 --> 01:12:52,240 Will it make him better? 1241 01:12:53,658 --> 01:12:55,393 No. 1242 01:12:55,493 --> 01:12:57,537 Then maybe... 1243 01:12:58,329 --> 01:13:00,373 don't answer. 1244 01:13:07,880 --> 01:13:10,425 Hey. How you doing? 1245 01:13:11,175 --> 01:13:14,137 Right, right. Oh, no, please. 1246 01:13:14,220 --> 01:13:17,457 Oh, please, please don't, little darling. 1247 01:13:17,557 --> 01:13:20,493 Between the two of us we'll find the answer... 1248 01:13:20,593 --> 01:13:22,295 and it won't hurt any more. 1249 01:13:22,395 --> 01:13:24,395 No, no. 1250 01:13:24,439 --> 01:13:26,482 I'm-I'm not busy. I... 1251 01:13:28,151 --> 01:13:32,571 Of course, if you want me to come over I will. Mm-hm. 1252 01:13:33,197 --> 01:13:35,197 OK. 1253 01:13:44,042 --> 01:13:46,878 That was a good night. 1254 01:13:46,961 --> 01:13:49,614 Except I felt fat. - Don't be ridiculous. 1255 01:13:49,714 --> 01:13:51,324 It's true. 1256 01:13:51,424 --> 01:13:53,855 Nowadays the only clothes I can get into... 1257 01:13:53,955 --> 01:13:55,578 were once owned by Pavarotti. 1258 01:13:55,678 --> 01:13:59,333 I always think Pavarotti dresses very well. 1259 01:14:02,143 --> 01:14:04,187 Mia's very pretty. 1260 01:14:06,105 --> 01:14:08,149 Is she? 1261 01:14:09,567 --> 01:14:12,570 You know she is, darling. 1262 01:14:12,653 --> 01:14:14,822 Be careful there. 1263 01:14:38,096 --> 01:14:41,071 Have you been watching stuff on TV? 1264 01:14:42,225 --> 01:14:44,769 Yeah. 1265 01:14:44,852 --> 01:14:46,852 Every night. - Good. 1266 01:14:46,896 --> 01:14:49,023 And every day. 1267 01:14:55,988 --> 01:14:58,827 The nurses are trying to kill me. 1268 01:14:58,927 --> 01:15:01,853 Nobody's trying to kill you, babe. 1269 01:15:07,041 --> 01:15:09,085 Thank you. 1270 01:15:11,838 --> 01:15:14,298 Don't do that, my darling. 1271 01:15:16,634 --> 01:15:18,678 Thank you. 1272 01:15:25,768 --> 01:15:27,895 Don't do that. 1273 01:15:53,337 --> 01:15:55,462 (Dog barking in distance) 1274 01:16:00,595 --> 01:16:03,393 Right. Back at three. Christmas shopping, 1275 01:16:03,493 --> 01:16:05,041 never easy or pleasant. 1276 01:16:05,141 --> 01:16:08,019 Are you gonna get me something? 1277 01:16:08,102 --> 01:16:10,146 Er... 1278 01:16:11,689 --> 01:16:13,716 I don't know, I hadn't thought. 1279 01:16:13,816 --> 01:16:15,635 Where's Sarah, by the way? 1280 01:16:15,735 --> 01:16:18,471 She couldn't make it in. Family thing. 1281 01:16:18,571 --> 01:16:20,478 There's a word for hangover 1282 01:16:20,578 --> 01:16:22,267 I've never heard before. 1283 01:16:22,367 --> 01:16:26,496 See you later. - Yes. Looking forward to it. 1284 01:16:29,916 --> 01:16:31,959 A lot. 1285 01:16:44,055 --> 01:16:46,775 Are you gonna give me something? 1286 01:16:47,266 --> 01:16:49,961 I thought I made it clear last night. 1287 01:16:50,061 --> 01:16:53,801 When it comes to me, you can have everything. 1288 01:16:53,856 --> 01:16:57,318 So, erm, what do you need? 1289 01:16:58,611 --> 01:17:00,877 Something along the stationery line? 1290 01:17:00,977 --> 01:17:02,599 Are you short of staplers? 1291 01:17:02,699 --> 01:17:06,119 No. I don't want something I need. 1292 01:17:06,202 --> 01:17:09,772 I want something I want. Something pretty. 1293 01:17:10,832 --> 01:17:12,832 Right. 1294 01:17:13,835 --> 01:17:15,878 Right. 1295 01:17:23,261 --> 01:17:26,016 Sorry I'm late, I had to drop off 1296 01:17:26,116 --> 01:17:28,116 Bernie at rehearsal. 1297 01:17:30,893 --> 01:17:33,504 Right, listen, you keep yourself occupied... 1298 01:17:33,604 --> 01:17:37,344 while I do the boring stuff for our mothers. 1299 01:17:58,713 --> 01:18:00,840 Thank you. - Thank you. 1300 01:18:00,923 --> 01:18:03,618 Looking for anything in particular, sir? 1301 01:18:03,718 --> 01:18:07,346 Yes. That necklace there, how much is it? 1302 01:18:07,430 --> 01:18:09,599 It's 270. 1303 01:18:10,975 --> 01:18:15,063 Erm, all right. Er, I'll have it. - Lovely. 1304 01:18:18,107 --> 01:18:21,194 Would you like i t...giftwrapped? 1305 01:18:21,277 --> 01:18:24,030 Yes, all right. - Lovely. 1306 01:18:27,158 --> 01:18:29,708 Let me just pop it in the box. 1307 01:18:31,079 --> 01:18:32,480 There. 1308 01:18:32,580 --> 01:18:34,910 Look, could we be quite quick? 1309 01:18:35,010 --> 01:18:36,150 Certainly, sir. 1310 01:18:36,250 --> 01:18:39,140 Ready in the flashiest of flashes. 1311 01:18:46,594 --> 01:18:48,204 There. - That's great. 1312 01:18:48,304 --> 01:18:51,099 Not quite finished. 1313 01:18:54,644 --> 01:18:57,544 I don't need a bag, I'll put it in my pocket. 1314 01:18:57,644 --> 01:18:59,299 Oh, this isn't a bag, sir. 1315 01:18:59,399 --> 01:19:00,399 Really? 1316 01:19:00,499 --> 01:19:03,219 This is so much more than a bag. 1317 01:19:09,575 --> 01:19:11,577 Ooh. 1318 01:19:26,008 --> 01:19:28,369 Could we be quite quick, please? 1319 01:19:28,469 --> 01:19:31,222 Prontissimo. 1320 01:19:49,532 --> 01:19:52,226 What's that? - A cinnamon stick, sir. 1321 01:19:52,326 --> 01:19:55,813 Actually, I really can't wait. - You won't regret it, sir. 1322 01:19:55,913 --> 01:19:58,166 Want to bet? 1323 01:19:58,249 --> 01:20:00,799 'Tis but the work of a moment. 1324 01:20:04,172 --> 01:20:06,407 There we go. Almost finished. 1325 01:20:06,507 --> 01:20:08,645 Are you gonna dip it in yogurt? 1326 01:20:08,745 --> 01:20:10,954 Cover it with chocolate buttons? 1327 01:20:11,054 --> 01:20:12,880 No, sir, we're going to pop it... 1328 01:20:12,980 --> 01:20:14,123 in the Christmas box. 1329 01:20:14,223 --> 01:20:15,792 I don't want a Christmas box. 1330 01:20:15,892 --> 01:20:17,796 But you wanted it giftwrapped. 1331 01:20:17,896 --> 01:20:18,628 I did but... 1332 01:20:18,728 --> 01:20:20,463 The final flourish. - Can I pay? 1333 01:20:20,563 --> 01:20:23,274 All we need now... - Oh, God. 1334 01:20:23,358 --> 01:20:25,510 .. is a sprig of holly. - No, no, no, no. 1335 01:20:25,610 --> 01:20:27,595 No bloody holly. - But sir... 1336 01:20:27,695 --> 01:20:30,365 Leave it. - Ooh. 1337 01:20:30,448 --> 01:20:32,628 Loitering around the jewellery section? 1338 01:20:32,728 --> 01:20:34,394 No. I was just looking around. 1339 01:20:34,494 --> 01:20:36,031 Don't worry. My expectations... 1340 01:20:36,131 --> 01:20:37,105 are not that high... 1341 01:20:37,205 --> 01:20:38,405 after 1 3 years of 1342 01:20:38,505 --> 01:20:40,817 Mr Oh-But-You-Alw ays-Love-Scarves. 1343 01:20:40,917 --> 01:20:42,944 Actually, I do love this one. 1344 01:20:43,044 --> 01:20:45,196 ( Darlene Love: All Alone On Christmas) 1345 01:20:45,296 --> 01:20:47,465 I've gotta know 1346 01:20:47,548 --> 01:20:53,679 Where do the lonely hearts go... 1347 01:20:53,763 --> 01:20:57,100 Hey. - What are you doing here? 1348 01:20:57,183 --> 01:21:00,169 Had to rent out my flat to pay for my ticket. 1349 01:21:00,269 --> 01:21:02,235 You're not actually going ahead... 1350 01:21:02,335 --> 01:21:03,589 with this stupid plan? 1351 01:21:03,689 --> 01:21:05,383 I bloody am. 1352 01:21:05,483 --> 01:21:07,662 You think this is full of clothes? 1353 01:21:07,762 --> 01:21:08,761 Like hell it is. 1354 01:21:08,861 --> 01:21:11,921 It is chock-a-block full of condoms. 1355 01:21:11,989 --> 01:21:15,393 Excellent. Excellent. Perfect, keep that going. 1356 01:21:15,493 --> 01:21:17,873 (Clears throat) Look, erm... 1357 01:21:19,122 --> 01:21:21,649 sorry to be a bit forward and all that but... 1358 01:21:21,749 --> 01:21:24,370 you don't fancy going for a Christmas drink, 1359 01:21:24,470 --> 01:21:26,362 do you? I mean, nothing implied. 1360 01:21:26,462 --> 01:21:29,506 Just maybe go and see something 1361 01:21:29,606 --> 01:21:32,051 Christmassy or something. 1362 01:21:32,135 --> 01:21:33,992 Obviously, if you don't want to, 1363 01:21:34,092 --> 01:21:35,413 you don't have to. I... 1364 01:21:35,513 --> 01:21:37,206 I'm rambling now, sorry. 1365 01:21:37,306 --> 01:21:39,976 No. That would be lovely. 1366 01:21:40,059 --> 01:21:42,395 Oh, great. 1367 01:21:44,772 --> 01:21:46,049 Yay. 1368 01:21:46,149 --> 01:21:48,259 You know, that is really great. 1369 01:21:48,359 --> 01:21:50,950 Normally, I'm really shy, takes me ages... 1370 01:21:51,050 --> 01:21:53,264 to get the courage up, so thank you. 1371 01:21:53,364 --> 01:21:55,491 (Repetitive drumbeats)... 1372 01:21:59,871 --> 01:22:02,654 Explain again why you're so late. 1373 01:22:02,754 --> 01:22:05,219 Can't a man have any secrets? 1374 01:22:05,293 --> 01:22:07,378 We've been waiting for hours, 1375 01:22:07,478 --> 01:22:09,489 it's the first ever preview. 1376 01:22:09,589 --> 01:22:11,714 .. is a thing of the past 1377 01:22:11,716 --> 01:22:15,078 Maybe you can bring us all hope this year 1378 01:22:15,178 --> 01:22:18,122 Visions of sugarplums have disappeared... 1379 01:22:18,222 --> 01:22:22,251 (Karen) It was a starry night in ancient Jerusalem... 1380 01:22:22,351 --> 01:22:25,521 and the baby Jesus was in his manger. 1381 01:22:33,654 --> 01:22:37,325 Sherlock Holmes is not a real detective. 1382 01:22:37,408 --> 01:22:40,395 (Russian) Is this the way to the train station? 1383 01:22:40,495 --> 01:22:43,623 I would like half-pint of churly. 1384 01:22:44,749 --> 01:22:47,402 I would like a one-day Travelcard. 1385 01:22:47,502 --> 01:22:49,054 (Portuguese) Oh, my God, 1386 01:22:49,154 --> 01:22:51,239 I've got a terrible stomachache. 1387 01:22:51,339 --> 01:22:53,574 It must have been the prawns. 1388 01:22:53,674 --> 01:22:56,649 Milton Keynes has many roundabouts. 1389 01:22:57,387 --> 01:23:01,557 (Portuguese) My goodness, this is a very big fish. 1390 01:23:01,641 --> 01:23:04,644 It tastes delicious. 1391 01:23:04,727 --> 01:23:06,379 All alone on Christmas 1392 01:23:06,479 --> 01:23:09,090 Nobody ought to be alone on Christmas 1393 01:23:09,190 --> 01:23:10,596 All alone on Christmas 1394 01:23:10,696 --> 01:23:13,094 Nobody ought to be alone on Christmas 1395 01:23:13,194 --> 01:23:14,679 Tell me I've got to know 1396 01:23:14,779 --> 01:23:17,600 Nobody ought to be alone on Christmas 1397 01:23:17,700 --> 01:23:19,434 Don't leave me alone... 1398 01:23:19,534 --> 01:23:21,638 You'll come back a broken man. 1399 01:23:21,738 --> 01:23:24,272 Yeah, back broken from too much sex. 1400 01:23:24,372 --> 01:23:26,691 You are on the road to disaster. 1401 01:23:26,791 --> 01:23:30,253 No, I am on shag highway, heading west. 1402 01:23:30,878 --> 01:23:32,878 Farewell, failure. 1403 01:23:32,922 --> 01:23:36,843 America, watch out. Here comes Colin Frissell. 1404 01:23:36,926 --> 01:23:40,471 And he's got a big knob... 1405 01:23:41,597 --> 01:23:43,982 ( Santana Featuring Rob Thomas: 1406 01:23:44,082 --> 01:23:46,082 Smooth)... 1407 01:23:51,232 --> 01:23:53,760 Take me to a bar. - What kind of bar? 1408 01:23:53,860 --> 01:23:54,915 Just any bar. 1409 01:23:55,015 --> 01:23:57,650 Just your average American bar. 1410 01:23:58,031 --> 01:24:00,908 (On jukebo Man, it's a hot one 1411 01:24:00,992 --> 01:24:04,307 Like seven inches from the midday sun... 1412 01:24:04,370 --> 01:24:05,464 Can I help you? 1413 01:24:05,564 --> 01:24:08,107 Yes. I'd like a Budweiser, please. 1414 01:24:08,207 --> 01:24:11,586 King of beers. - Bud coming up. 1415 01:24:12,545 --> 01:24:14,797 Oh, my God. 1416 01:24:14,881 --> 01:24:16,881 Are you from England? 1417 01:24:18,426 --> 01:24:20,845 Yes. - Oh... 1418 01:24:20,928 --> 01:24:23,890 that is so cute. 1419 01:24:23,973 --> 01:24:27,643 Hi, I'm Stacey. (Giggles) 1420 01:24:27,727 --> 01:24:29,771 Jeannie? 1421 01:24:31,689 --> 01:24:33,775 Yeah? 1422 01:24:33,858 --> 01:24:36,611 This is... - Colin. 1423 01:24:38,154 --> 01:24:40,365 Frissell. 1424 01:24:40,448 --> 01:24:42,533 Cute name. 1425 01:24:42,617 --> 01:24:45,411 Jeannie. - He's from England. 1426 01:24:45,495 --> 01:24:47,705 Yep. Basildon. 1427 01:24:47,789 --> 01:24:50,666 Oh. - Oh. 1428 01:24:50,750 --> 01:24:53,153 Wait till Carol-Anne gets here. 1429 01:24:53,253 --> 01:24:55,655 She's crazy about English guys. 1430 01:24:55,755 --> 01:24:57,882 (Stacey) Uh-huh. 1431 01:25:00,968 --> 01:25:02,036 Hey, girls. 1432 01:25:02,136 --> 01:25:04,931 Carol-Anne, come meet Colin. 1433 01:25:05,014 --> 01:25:07,600 He's from England. 1434 01:25:07,683 --> 01:25:11,896 Well, step aside, ladies. This one's on me. 1435 01:25:15,066 --> 01:25:17,616 Hey, gorgeous. - (Gentle growl) 1436 01:25:19,404 --> 01:25:21,489 That is so funny. 1437 01:25:22,865 --> 01:25:25,184 What do you call that? - Er, bottle. 1438 01:25:25,284 --> 01:25:27,353 (With English accent) 'Bottle.' 1439 01:25:27,453 --> 01:25:29,480 What about this? - Er, straw. 1440 01:25:29,580 --> 01:25:31,399 (Girls) 'Straw.' 1441 01:25:31,499 --> 01:25:33,539 What about this? - Table. 1442 01:25:34,752 --> 01:25:36,779 Table. The same. - Oh, it's the same. 1443 01:25:36,879 --> 01:25:40,241 Where are you staying? - I don't actually know. 1444 01:25:40,341 --> 01:25:43,119 I'll just check into a motel like in the movies. 1445 01:25:43,219 --> 01:25:46,497 Oh, my God. Oh, my God, that is so cute. 1446 01:25:46,597 --> 01:25:49,548 No, no, no, listen. This may be a bit pushy... 1447 01:25:49,648 --> 01:25:51,294 cos we just met you but... 1448 01:25:51,394 --> 01:25:53,880 why don't you come back and sleep at our place? 1449 01:25:53,980 --> 01:25:56,107 Yeah. - Yeah. 1450 01:25:56,190 --> 01:25:59,135 Well, if it's not too much of an inconvenience. 1451 01:25:59,235 --> 01:26:02,238 Hell no. - But there's one problem. 1452 01:26:02,321 --> 01:26:04,407 What? 1453 01:26:04,490 --> 01:26:07,002 Well, we're not the richest of girls, 1454 01:26:07,102 --> 01:26:08,102 you know. 1455 01:26:08,202 --> 01:26:13,166 So we just have a little bed and no couch. 1456 01:26:13,249 --> 01:26:16,569 So you'd have to share with all three of us. 1457 01:26:16,669 --> 01:26:20,525 And on this cold, cold night it's gonna be... 1458 01:26:20,625 --> 01:26:23,092 crowded and sweaty and stuff. 1459 01:26:23,176 --> 01:26:25,981 And we can't even afford pyjamas. 1460 01:26:26,012 --> 01:26:28,389 No? 1461 01:26:28,473 --> 01:26:30,975 Which means... 1462 01:26:31,059 --> 01:26:33,227 we would be naked. 1463 01:26:37,940 --> 01:26:39,550 No, no, I think it'd be fine. 1464 01:26:39,650 --> 01:26:42,028 (Girls) Great. - Erm... 1465 01:26:42,111 --> 01:26:44,081 The thing that's gonna make it... 1466 01:26:44,181 --> 01:26:45,181 more crowded... 1467 01:26:45,281 --> 01:26:47,433 Harriet. You haven't met Harriet. 1468 01:26:47,533 --> 01:26:49,352 There's a fourth? - Yeah. 1469 01:26:49,452 --> 01:26:52,114 Don't worry, you're totally gonna like her... 1470 01:26:52,214 --> 01:26:53,731 cos she is 'the sexy one'. 1471 01:26:53,831 --> 01:26:56,584 Really? Wow. - Yeah. 1472 01:26:56,667 --> 01:27:00,505 Praise the Lord. - Oh, and he's a Christian. 1473 01:27:03,007 --> 01:27:04,617 (All) Cheers. 1474 01:27:04,717 --> 01:27:07,220 If I could 1475 01:27:07,303 --> 01:27:09,430 Then I would 1476 01:27:09,514 --> 01:27:13,684 I'll go wherever you will go 1477 01:27:13,768 --> 01:27:15,770 Way up high 1478 01:27:15,853 --> 01:27:17,897 Or down low 1479 01:27:17,980 --> 01:27:22,151 I'll go wherever you will go 1480 01:27:22,235 --> 01:27:25,613 If I could turn back... 1481 01:27:25,697 --> 01:27:27,490 One present only each tonight. 1482 01:27:27,590 --> 01:27:28,891 Who's got one for Dad? 1483 01:27:28,991 --> 01:27:30,935 I have. - Let Mummy go first. 1484 01:27:31,035 --> 01:27:32,035 I'll get it. 1485 01:27:32,135 --> 01:27:34,147 No, no, no. I want to choose mine. 1486 01:27:34,247 --> 01:27:36,499 I think I want... 1487 01:27:38,710 --> 01:27:39,710 .. this one. 1488 01:27:39,810 --> 01:27:42,447 I have bought the traditional scarf as well... 1489 01:27:42,547 --> 01:27:44,074 but this is my other, 1490 01:27:44,174 --> 01:27:46,451 slightly special, personal one. 1491 01:27:46,551 --> 01:27:48,678 Thank you. 1492 01:27:48,761 --> 01:27:50,847 That's a real first. 1493 01:27:50,930 --> 01:27:53,349 Rip it. - What is it? 1494 01:27:53,433 --> 01:27:56,748 I'm going to... All right, I'll rip it. 1495 01:28:02,567 --> 01:28:04,944 God, that's a surprise. 1496 01:28:06,237 --> 01:28:08,237 (Daisy) What is it? 1497 01:28:09,907 --> 01:28:13,578 It's a CD. Joni Mitchell, wow. 1498 01:28:13,661 --> 01:28:15,980 To continue your emotional education. 1499 01:28:16,080 --> 01:28:18,249 Yes. 1500 01:28:18,332 --> 01:28:20,793 Goodness. 1501 01:28:20,877 --> 01:28:22,877 That's great. 1502 01:28:22,920 --> 01:28:25,840 My brilliant wife. - Ah, yes. 1503 01:28:28,134 --> 01:28:31,313 Actually, do you mind if I just absent myself... 1504 01:28:31,413 --> 01:28:32,413 for a second? 1505 01:28:32,513 --> 01:28:35,391 All that ice cream. Er... 1506 01:28:35,475 --> 01:28:37,216 Darling, could you make sure... 1507 01:28:37,316 --> 01:28:38,711 the kids are ready to go? 1508 01:28:38,811 --> 01:28:39,811 Back in a minute. 1509 01:28:39,911 --> 01:28:42,215 (Harry to kids) All right, take it easy. 1510 01:28:42,315 --> 01:28:44,525 (Bernie) Mine first. Mine. 1511 01:28:44,692 --> 01:28:46,466 ( Joni Mitchell: Both Sides No 1512 01:28:46,566 --> 01:28:47,428 Moons and Junes 1513 01:28:47,528 --> 01:28:49,906 And Ferris wheels 1514 01:28:51,407 --> 01:28:56,621 The dizzy dancing way that you feel 1515 01:28:56,704 --> 01:29:01,751 As every fairy tale comes real 1516 01:29:04,170 --> 01:29:06,631 I've looked at love that way 1517 01:29:10,301 --> 01:29:13,930 But now it's just another show 1518 01:29:16,182 --> 01:29:20,728 And you leave 'em laughing when you go 1519 01:29:22,146 --> 01:29:24,857 And if you care 1520 01:29:24,941 --> 01:29:27,110 Don't let them know 1521 01:29:28,945 --> 01:29:32,156 Don't give yourself away 1522 01:29:34,992 --> 01:29:37,286 I've looked at love 1523 01:29:37,370 --> 01:29:40,248 From both sides now 1524 01:29:40,331 --> 01:29:42,417 From give and take 1525 01:29:43,668 --> 01:29:46,838 And still somehow 1526 01:29:46,921 --> 01:29:52,135 It's love's illusions that I recall 1527 01:29:54,053 --> 01:29:56,472 I really don't know love 1528 01:30:00,810 --> 01:30:03,521 I really don't know love at all 1529 01:30:15,283 --> 01:30:17,535 Tears and fears 1530 01:30:17,618 --> 01:30:20,413 And feeling proud 1531 01:30:21,539 --> 01:30:26,586 To say I love you right out loud 1532 01:30:27,712 --> 01:30:30,381 Dreams and schemes 1533 01:30:30,465 --> 01:30:33,259 And circus crowds 1534 01:30:34,635 --> 01:30:37,680 I've looked at life that way 1535 01:30:39,182 --> 01:30:41,350 Oh but now old friends... 1536 01:30:41,434 --> 01:30:43,044 Oh, my God. 1537 01:30:43,144 --> 01:30:46,189 It's a miracle. You're all dressed. 1538 01:30:46,272 --> 01:30:47,933 Come on, come on, come on, 1539 01:30:48,033 --> 01:30:49,300 we're horribly late. 1540 01:30:49,400 --> 01:30:52,630 Come on, then. In the car. In the car. 1541 01:30:53,071 --> 01:30:55,865 Well something's lost 1542 01:30:55,948 --> 01:30:57,948 But something's gained 1543 01:30:59,243 --> 01:31:02,538 In living every day... 1544 01:31:02,830 --> 01:31:05,875 Has she noticed you yet? - No. 1545 01:31:05,958 --> 01:31:08,215 But the thing about romance is people... 1546 01:31:08,315 --> 01:31:10,571 only get together right at the very end. 1547 01:31:10,671 --> 01:31:12,840 Of course. 1548 01:31:13,966 --> 01:31:16,209 By the way, I feel bad. I never ask you... 1549 01:31:16,309 --> 01:31:17,787 how your love life is going. 1550 01:31:17,887 --> 01:31:19,887 Er-huh. 1551 01:31:19,931 --> 01:31:21,708 No. 1552 01:31:21,808 --> 01:31:22,808 As you know, 1553 01:31:22,908 --> 01:31:25,458 that was a done deal long ago. 1554 01:31:26,062 --> 01:31:28,733 Unless Claudia Schiffer calls, in which case 1555 01:31:28,833 --> 01:31:31,009 I want you out of here straightaway, 1556 01:31:31,109 --> 01:31:33,220 you wee motherless mongrel. 1557 01:31:33,320 --> 01:31:34,304 Oh. 1558 01:31:34,404 --> 01:31:36,689 No, no. We'll want to have sex... 1559 01:31:36,789 --> 01:31:38,933 in every room, including yours. 1560 01:31:39,033 --> 01:31:40,033 (Male DJ)... 1561 01:31:40,133 --> 01:31:42,061 'It's a rainy Christmas Eve all over the UK... 1562 01:31:42,161 --> 01:31:44,279 'and the question is who is number one... 1563 01:31:44,379 --> 01:31:46,232 on the Radio One chart show tonight? 1564 01:31:46,332 --> 01:31:48,043 'ls it Blue or the unexpected 1565 01:31:48,143 --> 01:31:50,278 Christmas sensation from Billy Mack? 1566 01:31:50,378 --> 01:31:52,164 'You might have guessed it... 1567 01:31:52,264 --> 01:31:54,240 although you may not believe it. 1568 01:31:54,340 --> 01:31:56,551 'It's Billy Mack.' 1569 01:31:58,761 --> 01:32:01,414 You are the champion. - (Crowd) Shh. 1570 01:32:01,514 --> 01:32:03,514 'Hi, Billy.' - Hello. 1571 01:32:03,558 --> 01:32:07,337 'We're live across the nation and you're number one. 1572 01:32:07,437 --> 01:32:09,179 'How will you be celebrating?' 1573 01:32:09,279 --> 01:32:10,006 I don't know. 1574 01:32:10,106 --> 01:32:11,767 Er, either I could behave like... 1575 01:32:11,867 --> 01:32:13,217 a real rock'n'roll loser... 1576 01:32:13,317 --> 01:32:16,054 and get drunk with my fat manager... 1577 01:32:16,154 --> 01:32:18,239 or, when I hang up, 1578 01:32:18,322 --> 01:32:20,501 I'll be flooded by invitations... 1579 01:32:20,601 --> 01:32:23,186 to a large number of glamorous parties. 1580 01:32:23,286 --> 01:32:25,361 'Let's hope it's the latter. Here it is. 1581 01:32:25,461 --> 01:32:26,898 Number one, from Billy Mack, 1582 01:32:26,998 --> 01:32:29,046 'it's Christmas Is All Around.' 1583 01:32:29,146 --> 01:32:31,194 Oh, Jesus, not that crap again. 1584 01:32:31,294 --> 01:32:33,963 I feel it in my fingers... 1585 01:32:34,005 --> 01:32:36,466 Bill, it's for you, babe. 1586 01:32:37,508 --> 01:32:39,969 Hello. Elton. 1587 01:32:40,053 --> 01:32:43,514 O-Of course. Of course. 1588 01:32:43,598 --> 01:32:45,723 Send an embarrassingly big car... 1589 01:32:45,823 --> 01:32:46,960 and I'll be there. 1590 01:32:47,060 --> 01:32:48,711 (Crowd laughing) 1591 01:32:48,811 --> 01:32:52,482 It's gonna be a very good Christmas. 1592 01:32:52,565 --> 01:32:54,609 (Cheering)... 1593 01:33:00,490 --> 01:33:01,490 Right. 1594 01:33:01,590 --> 01:33:03,226 I'd better be getting inside, actually. 1595 01:33:03,326 --> 01:33:04,727 My mum and...you know. 1596 01:33:04,827 --> 01:33:07,480 Of course, yeah. It's getting a bit cold. 1597 01:33:07,580 --> 01:33:10,041 Erm... 1598 01:33:10,124 --> 01:33:12,919 Well, good night. - Night. 1599 01:33:15,546 --> 01:33:17,546 Er... 1600 01:33:22,845 --> 01:33:25,890 Er... OK. 1601 01:33:38,653 --> 01:33:41,322 All I want for Christmas... 1602 01:33:41,406 --> 01:33:44,867 is you. - (Laughs nervously) 1603 01:33:44,951 --> 01:33:47,537 Right. 1604 01:33:47,620 --> 01:33:50,623 Thank you. Good. 1605 01:33:50,707 --> 01:33:52,707 Good night. 1606 01:33:53,710 --> 01:33:57,004 Ha ha ha. Ho. 1607 01:33:57,088 --> 01:33:59,789 ( Otis Redding: White Christmas) 1608 01:33:59,889 --> 01:34:01,889 I'm, I'm dreaming 1609 01:34:02,635 --> 01:34:06,222 Dreaming of a white... 1610 01:34:06,305 --> 01:34:08,875 Oh, look, everyone, it's Uncle Jamie. 1611 01:34:08,975 --> 01:34:11,811 Hi, Uncle Jamie. 1612 01:34:11,894 --> 01:34:16,149 Yes, oh, splendid. It's lovely to see you all. 1613 01:34:16,232 --> 01:34:18,693 And, er... 1614 01:34:19,819 --> 01:34:21,137 I'm off, actually. 1615 01:34:21,237 --> 01:34:24,115 But Jamie, darling. 1616 01:34:24,198 --> 01:34:26,743 Sorry. 1617 01:34:26,826 --> 01:34:29,971 Man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. 1618 01:34:32,582 --> 01:34:34,582 I hate Uncle Jamie. 1619 01:34:34,584 --> 01:34:37,820 (Girl) I hate Uncle Jamie. (Boy) I hate Uncle Jamie. 1620 01:34:37,920 --> 01:34:40,048 And try to listen 1621 01:34:41,799 --> 01:34:44,844 To hear 1622 01:34:44,927 --> 01:34:47,221 Hear for the sleigh bells 1623 01:34:47,305 --> 01:34:49,332 That are ringing in the snow... 1624 01:34:49,432 --> 01:34:52,917 Gatwick airport, please. Fast as you can. 1625 01:34:53,311 --> 01:34:56,286 ( Song continues on radio, quietly) 1626 01:34:56,731 --> 01:34:59,192 I-l-l 1627 01:35:00,276 --> 01:35:02,320 I'm dreaming 1628 01:35:04,364 --> 01:35:07,075 Of a white... 1629 01:35:07,158 --> 01:35:09,911 Night, Sarah. - Night, Karl. 1630 01:35:10,870 --> 01:35:12,914 I, er... 1631 01:35:17,001 --> 01:35:19,891 Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas. 1632 01:35:24,509 --> 01:35:27,970 I want you to know, may your day 1633 01:35:28,054 --> 01:35:31,224 May your day 1634 01:35:31,307 --> 01:35:35,645 Be so merry, merry and bright... 1635 01:35:40,274 --> 01:35:43,277 Hi, babe, how's it going? Yeah. 1636 01:35:43,361 --> 01:35:45,972 Is it all party, party, party down there? 1637 01:35:46,072 --> 01:35:48,157 All of your Christmases 1638 01:35:49,283 --> 01:35:51,828 And may all 1639 01:35:51,911 --> 01:35:55,248 And may all of your Christmases 1640 01:35:56,791 --> 01:35:58,610 Baby may your days 1641 01:35:58,710 --> 01:36:02,422 May your days be merry 1642 01:36:02,505 --> 01:36:04,716 Merry, so merry... 1643 01:36:04,799 --> 01:36:07,910 Sam, time for dinner. - I'm not hungry. 1644 01:36:08,010 --> 01:36:11,472 Sam, I've done chicken kebabs. 1645 01:36:11,556 --> 01:36:13,708 (Sam) Look at the sign on the door. 1646 01:36:13,808 --> 01:36:15,852 (Drumming) 1647 01:36:17,895 --> 01:36:19,939 Right. 1648 01:36:25,737 --> 01:36:28,448 It's a little long. 1649 01:36:28,531 --> 01:36:29,599 Dreaming, 1650 01:36:29,699 --> 01:36:34,495 dreaming of a white, white Christmas... 1651 01:36:34,579 --> 01:36:36,579 (Doorbell) 1652 01:36:36,622 --> 01:36:38,666 I'll get it. 1653 01:36:44,881 --> 01:36:47,842 Oh, hi. - (Peter) Who is it? 1654 01:36:52,388 --> 01:36:54,248 It's carol singers. 1655 01:36:54,348 --> 01:36:56,417 Give them a quid and tell them to bugger off. 1656 01:36:56,517 --> 01:36:58,853 (Turns volume up) 1657 01:37:00,146 --> 01:37:05,026 Silent night 1658 01:37:05,109 --> 01:37:09,489 Holy night 1659 01:37:09,572 --> 01:37:13,993 All is calm 1660 01:37:14,077 --> 01:37:18,498 All is bright 1661 01:37:18,581 --> 01:37:23,127 Round yon virgin 1662 01:37:23,211 --> 01:37:27,548 Mother and child 1663 01:37:27,632 --> 01:37:31,677 Holy infant 1664 01:37:31,761 --> 01:37:36,349 So tender and mild 1665 01:37:36,432 --> 01:37:44,524 Sleep in heavenly peace 1666 01:37:45,858 --> 01:37:51,197 Sleep in heavenly peace 1667 01:37:54,951 --> 01:37:59,038 Silent night 1668 01:37:59,122 --> 01:38:03,584 Holy night 1669 01:38:03,668 --> 01:38:07,922 Shepherds quake 1670 01:38:08,005 --> 01:38:10,005 At the sight... 1671 01:38:10,049 --> 01:38:12,118 (Whispers) Merry Christmas. 1672 01:38:12,218 --> 01:38:16,472 Glories stream 1673 01:38:16,556 --> 01:38:20,893 From heaven afar 1674 01:38:21,686 --> 01:38:30,486 Heavenly hosts sing alleluia 1675 01:38:30,570 --> 01:38:38,661 Christ the saviour is born 1676 01:38:39,787 --> 01:38:45,293 Christ the saviour is born 1677 01:38:48,337 --> 01:38:51,049 Enough. 1678 01:38:51,132 --> 01:38:52,992 Enough now. 1679 01:38:53,092 --> 01:38:55,136 (Sound turned down)... 1680 01:38:58,473 --> 01:39:00,473 (Doorbell) 1681 01:39:00,475 --> 01:39:02,569 What the hell are you doing here? 1682 01:39:02,669 --> 01:39:05,088 You're supposed to be at Elton John's. 1683 01:39:05,188 --> 01:39:08,216 Well, I was there for a minute or two... 1684 01:39:08,316 --> 01:39:10,343 and then I had an epiphany. 1685 01:39:10,443 --> 01:39:12,820 Really? - Yeah. 1686 01:39:12,904 --> 01:39:14,989 Come on. Just come up. 1687 01:39:15,073 --> 01:39:18,201 So what was this epiphany? 1688 01:39:18,284 --> 01:39:21,089 Erm, it...it was about Christmas. 1689 01:39:21,120 --> 01:39:23,356 You realised it was all around. 1690 01:39:23,456 --> 01:39:26,577 No. I realised that Christmas is the time... 1691 01:39:26,677 --> 01:39:28,861 to be with the people you love. 1692 01:39:28,961 --> 01:39:30,446 Right. 1693 01:39:30,546 --> 01:39:34,135 And I realised that, as dire chance... 1694 01:39:34,235 --> 01:39:37,345 and fateful cockup would have it, 1695 01:39:37,428 --> 01:39:39,430 here I am, 1696 01:39:39,514 --> 01:39:41,808 mid-fifties, 1697 01:39:41,891 --> 01:39:43,091 and without knowing it, 1698 01:39:43,191 --> 01:39:45,044 I've spent most of my adult life... 1699 01:39:45,144 --> 01:39:48,940 with a chubby employee. (Snorts) 1700 01:39:49,023 --> 01:39:51,718 And, much as it grieves me to say it, 1701 01:39:51,818 --> 01:39:57,573 it might be that the people I love is, in fact... 1702 01:39:58,700 --> 01:40:01,577 you. 1703 01:40:02,704 --> 01:40:04,829 Well, this is a surprise. 1704 01:40:04,872 --> 01:40:06,649 Yeah. 1705 01:40:06,749 --> 01:40:08,985 Ten minutes at Elton John's and you're gay? 1706 01:40:09,085 --> 01:40:11,112 No, look. I'm serious here. 1707 01:40:11,212 --> 01:40:13,718 I left Elton's and a hefty number... 1708 01:40:13,818 --> 01:40:17,035 of half-naked chicks with their mouths open... 1709 01:40:17,135 --> 01:40:21,431 in order to hang out with you at Christmas. 1710 01:40:23,015 --> 01:40:24,224 Well, Bill... 1711 01:40:24,324 --> 01:40:28,438 It's a terrible, terrible mistake, chubs... 1712 01:40:32,275 --> 01:40:36,525 but you turn out to be the fucking love of my life. 1713 01:40:39,115 --> 01:40:40,510 And to be honest, 1714 01:40:40,610 --> 01:40:43,075 despite all my complaining... 1715 01:40:44,912 --> 01:40:47,377 we have had a wonderful life. 1716 01:40:51,878 --> 01:40:53,878 Well... 1717 01:40:55,381 --> 01:40:57,550 thank you. 1718 01:40:59,260 --> 01:41:02,405 I mean, come on, it's been an honour. 1719 01:41:03,806 --> 01:41:06,184 I feel very proud. 1720 01:41:06,267 --> 01:41:08,562 Oh, look, don't be a moron. 1721 01:41:16,652 --> 01:41:19,238 (Clears throat) 1722 01:41:19,322 --> 01:41:22,807 Come on, let's get pissed and watch porn. 1723 01:41:42,220 --> 01:41:44,706 (Natalie) 'Dear sir, Dear David, 1724 01:41:44,806 --> 01:41:46,932 'Merry Christmas and I hope you have... 1725 01:41:47,032 --> 01:41:48,209 a very happy New Year. 1726 01:41:48,309 --> 01:41:49,191 'I'm very sorry... 1727 01:41:49,291 --> 01:41:50,795 about the thing that happened. 1728 01:41:50,895 --> 01:41:53,965 'lt was a very odd moment and I feel like a prize idiot. 1729 01:41:54,065 --> 01:41:55,925 'Particularly because -... 1730 01:41:56,025 --> 01:41:57,636 'if you can't say it at Christmas, 1731 01:41:57,736 --> 01:41:58,761 when can you, eh? -... 1732 01:41:58,861 --> 01:42:02,771 'I'm actually yours. With love, your Natalie.' 1733 01:42:22,593 --> 01:42:24,762 Jack, yeah, I need a car. 1734 01:42:24,846 --> 01:42:26,889 Right now. Thank you. 1735 01:42:26,973 --> 01:42:29,142 ( Pointer Sisters: Jump) 1736 01:42:38,526 --> 01:42:40,862 Oh, don't wait up. 1737 01:42:44,615 --> 01:42:45,482 I'd like to go to 1738 01:42:45,582 --> 01:42:46,935 Wandsworth, the dodgy end. 1739 01:42:47,035 --> 01:42:49,245 Very good, sir. 1740 01:42:49,328 --> 01:42:52,957 Tell me how you want me 1741 01:42:53,041 --> 01:42:56,711 I can feel it in your heart beat 1742 01:42:56,794 --> 01:42:59,756 I know you like what you see... 1743 01:42:59,839 --> 01:43:02,742 (Terry) Harris Street. What number, sir? 1744 01:43:02,842 --> 01:43:05,224 (David) Oh, God, it's the longest street... 1745 01:43:05,324 --> 01:43:07,705 in the world and I have absolutely no idea. 1746 01:43:07,805 --> 01:43:10,725 Wrap your love around me 1747 01:43:10,808 --> 01:43:11,780 You're so excited 1748 01:43:11,880 --> 01:43:13,753 I can feel you getting hotter... 1749 01:43:13,853 --> 01:43:15,853 (Doorbell) 1750 01:43:15,897 --> 01:43:17,757 Hello, does Natalie live here? 1751 01:43:17,857 --> 01:43:18,857 No. 1752 01:43:18,957 --> 01:43:21,302 Right, fine, thank you. Sorry to disturb. 1753 01:43:21,402 --> 01:43:23,529 Here, aren't... 1754 01:43:23,613 --> 01:43:26,949 Aren't you the Prime Minister? 1755 01:43:27,033 --> 01:43:30,604 Er, yes. In fact, I am. Merry Christmas. 1756 01:43:30,704 --> 01:43:31,688 Oh. 1757 01:43:31,788 --> 01:43:34,164 Part of the service now. Trying to get round... 1758 01:43:34,264 --> 01:43:35,608 everyone by New Year's Eve. 1759 01:43:35,708 --> 01:43:37,752 (Doorbell) 1760 01:43:39,879 --> 01:43:43,174 Ah. Hello. Does Natalie live here? 1761 01:43:43,257 --> 01:43:45,927 No, she doesn't. - Oh dear. OK. 1762 01:43:45,968 --> 01:43:49,205 Are you singing carols? - Er, no. No, I'm not. 1763 01:43:49,305 --> 01:43:52,517 Please, sir, please. - Please. 1764 01:43:55,395 --> 01:43:57,213 Well, I suppose I could. 1765 01:43:57,313 --> 01:43:59,313 Please. 1766 01:44:00,525 --> 01:44:02,735 All right. - (Girls cheer) 1767 01:44:05,071 --> 01:44:08,032 Good King Wenceslas looked out 1768 01:44:08,116 --> 01:44:11,869 On the feast of Stephen... 1769 01:44:11,953 --> 01:44:13,710 (Joins in with rich, deep voice) 1770 01:44:13,810 --> 01:44:15,398 When the snow lay round about 1771 01:44:15,498 --> 01:44:18,918 Deep and crisp and even 1772 01:44:19,001 --> 01:44:22,505 Brightly shone the moon that night... 1773 01:44:22,588 --> 01:44:25,116 (Doorbell) - Hello. Sorry to disturb. 1774 01:44:25,216 --> 01:44:28,177 Does Natalie live here? - No. 1775 01:44:28,261 --> 01:44:30,388 She lives next door. 1776 01:44:32,890 --> 01:44:35,476 Ah. Brilliant. 1777 01:44:35,560 --> 01:44:38,504 You're not who I think you are, are you? 1778 01:44:38,604 --> 01:44:40,673 Yes and I'm sorry about all the cockups. 1779 01:44:40,773 --> 01:44:42,368 My cabinet are absolute crap. 1780 01:44:42,468 --> 01:44:44,177 We hope to do better next year. 1781 01:44:44,277 --> 01:44:46,487 Merry Christmas to you. 1782 01:44:59,167 --> 01:45:01,167 (Doorbell)... 1783 01:45:01,294 --> 01:45:05,089 (Chatting stops suddenly) - Ah. Hello. 1784 01:45:05,173 --> 01:45:07,425 Is, er, Natalie in? 1785 01:45:07,508 --> 01:45:10,738 Oh, where the fuck is my fucking coat? 1786 01:45:11,763 --> 01:45:15,641 Oh. Hello. - Hello. 1787 01:45:15,725 --> 01:45:18,000 Erm, this is my mum and my dad... 1788 01:45:18,100 --> 01:45:20,797 and my Uncle Tony and my Auntie Glynne. 1789 01:45:20,897 --> 01:45:22,799 Hello. - Very nice to meet you. 1790 01:45:22,899 --> 01:45:26,694 And, erm...this is the Prime Minister. 1791 01:45:26,778 --> 01:45:29,655 Yes, we can see that, darling. 1792 01:45:29,739 --> 01:45:32,517 And erm, unfortunately, we're very late. 1793 01:45:32,617 --> 01:45:34,587 It's the school Christmas concert, 1794 01:45:34,687 --> 01:45:35,687 you see, David. 1795 01:45:35,787 --> 01:45:38,136 All the local schools have joined together, 1796 01:45:38,236 --> 01:45:39,190 even St Basil's... 1797 01:45:39,290 --> 01:45:40,845 Too much detail, Mum. 1798 01:45:40,945 --> 01:45:43,111 Anyway, how can we help, sir? 1799 01:45:43,211 --> 01:45:47,090 Well, l...just needed Natalie... 1800 01:45:49,884 --> 01:45:51,928 on some state business. 1801 01:45:52,011 --> 01:45:56,599 Oh. - Right, yes. Of course. 1802 01:45:56,682 --> 01:45:58,418 Right, er... 1803 01:45:58,518 --> 01:46:01,212 Well, perhaps you should come on later, Plumpy. 1804 01:46:01,312 --> 01:46:02,672 Er, Natalie. 1805 01:46:02,772 --> 01:46:05,258 I don't want to make you late for the concert. 1806 01:46:05,358 --> 01:46:06,950 No, it's nothing, really. 1807 01:46:07,050 --> 01:46:08,970 Keith'll be very disappointed. 1808 01:46:09,070 --> 01:46:10,834 No, really, it doesn't matter. 1809 01:46:10,934 --> 01:46:13,182 The octopus costume's taken me months. 1810 01:46:13,282 --> 01:46:15,268 Eight is a lot of legs, David. 1811 01:46:15,368 --> 01:46:17,870 Mm. Erm... 1812 01:46:19,706 --> 01:46:21,774 Listen, why don't I give you a lift... 1813 01:46:21,874 --> 01:46:24,182 and then we can talk about... 1814 01:46:24,282 --> 01:46:27,682 this state business business in the car. 1815 01:46:28,548 --> 01:46:30,033 OK. 1816 01:46:30,133 --> 01:46:32,969 Lovely, yes. - Thank you. 1817 01:46:33,052 --> 01:46:35,138 Hold tight, everybody. 1818 01:46:41,769 --> 01:46:44,547 How far is this place? - Just round the corner. 1819 01:46:44,647 --> 01:46:47,316 Ah, right. Well, er... 1820 01:46:49,277 --> 01:46:51,487 I just wanted to say... 1821 01:46:53,448 --> 01:46:55,558 thank you for the Christmas card. 1822 01:46:55,658 --> 01:46:57,435 You're welcome. 1823 01:46:57,535 --> 01:46:59,437 Look, I'm so sorry about that day. 1824 01:46:59,537 --> 01:47:01,529 I came in and he slinked towards me... 1825 01:47:01,629 --> 01:47:02,815 and there was a fire... 1826 01:47:02,915 --> 01:47:05,488 and he's the President of the United States... 1827 01:47:05,588 --> 01:47:07,362 and nothing happened, I promise. 1828 01:47:07,462 --> 01:47:10,573 I just felt like such a fool because... 1829 01:47:10,673 --> 01:47:13,910 I think about you all the time, actually. 1830 01:47:14,010 --> 01:47:16,272 And I think you're the man that I really... 1831 01:47:16,372 --> 01:47:17,372 We're here. 1832 01:47:17,472 --> 01:47:19,082 .. Iove. - Oh, wow. 1833 01:47:19,182 --> 01:47:22,922 That really was just round the corner. Er... 1834 01:47:23,561 --> 01:47:25,605 Erm... 1835 01:47:28,107 --> 01:47:30,318 Ow. 1836 01:47:34,530 --> 01:47:36,783 (Sighs) 1837 01:47:36,866 --> 01:47:39,118 Well, look, l... 1838 01:47:40,912 --> 01:47:44,397 I think I'd better not come in, you know? 1839 01:47:44,415 --> 01:47:46,251 Nobody wants some politician... 1840 01:47:46,351 --> 01:47:47,944 stealing the kids' thunder. 1841 01:47:48,044 --> 01:47:51,631 No, please come. It'll be great. 1842 01:47:51,714 --> 01:47:54,384 No, l'd...I'd better not. 1843 01:47:55,510 --> 01:48:00,306 But I will be very sorry... 1844 01:48:00,390 --> 01:48:02,475 to drive away from you. 1845 01:48:03,976 --> 01:48:06,145 Just give me one second. 1846 01:48:20,118 --> 01:48:21,776 John's been very mysterious. 1847 01:48:21,876 --> 01:48:23,229 Where did you two meet? 1848 01:48:23,329 --> 01:48:26,416 Erm...erm... - Um...um... 1849 01:48:29,544 --> 01:48:31,587 No. 1850 01:49:02,952 --> 01:49:06,581 Come on in. We can watch from backstage. 1851 01:49:06,664 --> 01:49:08,959 OK. Terry, I won't be long. 1852 01:49:12,336 --> 01:49:15,198 Look, this has to be a very secret visit, OK? 1853 01:49:15,298 --> 01:49:17,968 Don't worry. This was my school. 1854 01:49:18,068 --> 01:49:20,618 I know my way around. Come on. 1855 01:49:22,180 --> 01:49:24,113 Look, the sheep are ready already... 1856 01:49:24,213 --> 01:49:25,375 and you're not even... 1857 01:49:25,475 --> 01:49:29,479 Oh, David. - Ah. 1858 01:49:29,562 --> 01:49:31,856 Oh, how are you? 1859 01:49:31,939 --> 01:49:35,985 Hi, guys. Hey, hey, hey. You all right? 1860 01:49:36,069 --> 01:49:38,179 What the hell are you doing here? 1861 01:49:38,279 --> 01:49:39,265 Well, you know... 1862 01:49:39,365 --> 01:49:41,266 We always tell your secretary... 1863 01:49:41,366 --> 01:49:43,888 that these things are going on but it never... 1864 01:49:43,988 --> 01:49:46,062 occurred to me you'd actually turn up. 1865 01:49:46,162 --> 01:49:48,022 I thought it was time I did. 1866 01:49:48,122 --> 01:49:49,753 I didn't want anyone to see, 1867 01:49:49,853 --> 01:49:51,484 so I'm gonna hide somewhere. 1868 01:49:51,584 --> 01:49:53,987 Good luck, Daisy, good luck, Bernie. 1869 01:49:54,087 --> 01:49:55,784 I've never been gladder... 1870 01:49:55,884 --> 01:49:57,782 to see my stupid big brother. 1871 01:49:57,882 --> 01:50:01,135 Thank you. - All right. 1872 01:50:01,219 --> 01:50:04,122 Oh, now. We haven't been introduced. 1873 01:50:04,222 --> 01:50:07,266 Right. Well, this is Gavin. 1874 01:50:07,350 --> 01:50:09,560 Hello, Gavin. - My copper. 1875 01:50:09,644 --> 01:50:11,671 And this is Natalie, who's my, erm... 1876 01:50:11,771 --> 01:50:13,491 who's my, erm, catering manager. 1877 01:50:13,591 --> 01:50:14,591 Oh. 1878 01:50:14,691 --> 01:50:16,734 Hi. - Catering manager. 1879 01:50:16,818 --> 01:50:18,845 Watch he keeps his hands off you. 1880 01:50:18,945 --> 01:50:21,097 20 years ago, you'd have been his type. 1881 01:50:21,197 --> 01:50:24,221 I'll be very careful. Don't try something, sir, 1882 01:50:24,321 --> 01:50:26,102 just because it's Christmas. 1883 01:50:26,202 --> 01:50:28,329 No, seriously. - (Bell) 1884 01:50:28,413 --> 01:50:30,748 Come on. Showtime. Quickly. 1885 01:50:30,832 --> 01:50:33,443 Look, see you after, yeah? - Probably. 1886 01:50:33,543 --> 01:50:36,446 Thank you, Prime Minister. - It's all right. 1887 01:50:36,546 --> 01:50:38,715 Come on. - Right. 1888 01:50:38,798 --> 01:50:42,035 Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket 1889 01:50:42,135 --> 01:50:46,723 Save it for a rainy day 1890 01:50:46,806 --> 01:50:50,852 Catch a falling star And put it in your pocket 1891 01:50:50,935 --> 01:50:54,063 Never let it fade away 1892 01:50:55,189 --> 01:50:59,235 Never let it fade away 1893 01:50:59,902 --> 01:51:05,033 Never let it fade away... 1894 01:51:05,116 --> 01:51:07,160 (Cheering, applause) 1895 01:51:12,707 --> 01:51:14,983 Hillier School would now like to present... 1896 01:51:15,083 --> 01:51:16,277 their Christmas number. 1897 01:51:16,377 --> 01:51:19,280 Lead vocals by ten-year-old Joanna Anderson, 1898 01:51:19,380 --> 01:51:21,950 backing vocals coordinated by her mother, 1899 01:51:22,050 --> 01:51:24,243 the great Mrs Jean Anderson. 1900 01:51:24,343 --> 01:51:27,205 Erm, some of the staff have decided to help out... 1901 01:51:27,305 --> 01:51:31,809 and for this, we ask you to forgive us. 1902 01:51:31,893 --> 01:51:33,711 Thank you. 1903 01:51:33,811 --> 01:51:35,811 (Applause)... 1904 01:51:39,484 --> 01:51:43,054 (A capella) I don't want a lot for Christmas 1905 01:51:43,154 --> 01:51:47,450 There's just one thing I need 1906 01:51:47,533 --> 01:51:50,828 I don't care about the presents 1907 01:51:50,912 --> 01:51:54,791 Underneath the Christmas tree 1908 01:51:54,874 --> 01:51:58,503 I just want you for my own 1909 01:51:58,586 --> 01:52:02,382 More than you could ever know 1910 01:52:02,465 --> 01:52:06,386 Make my wish come true 1911 01:52:06,469 --> 01:52:10,598 All I want for Christmas 1912 01:52:10,681 --> 01:52:18,356 Is you 1913 01:52:20,441 --> 01:52:23,011 I don't want a lot for Christmas 1914 01:52:23,111 --> 01:52:26,406 There's just one thing I need 1915 01:52:26,489 --> 01:52:29,450 I don't care about the presents 1916 01:52:29,534 --> 01:52:32,704 Underneath the Christmas tree 1917 01:52:32,787 --> 01:52:36,082 I just want you for my own 1918 01:52:36,165 --> 01:52:39,085 More than you could ever know 1919 01:52:39,168 --> 01:52:42,255 Make my wish come true 1920 01:52:42,338 --> 01:52:47,009 All I want for Christmas is you 1921 01:52:48,678 --> 01:52:50,972 You baby 1922 01:52:51,055 --> 01:52:54,934 Oh, all the lights are shining 1923 01:52:55,017 --> 01:52:59,105 So brightly everywhere 1924 01:52:59,188 --> 01:53:01,826 And the sound of children's laughter... 1925 01:53:01,926 --> 01:53:02,926 fills the air 1926 01:53:03,026 --> 01:53:05,403 Laughter fills the air 1927 01:53:05,486 --> 01:53:08,406 Everyone is singing Oh yeah 1928 01:53:08,489 --> 01:53:10,850 I hear those sleigh bells ringing 1929 01:53:10,950 --> 01:53:13,755 Santa won't you bring me my honey 1930 01:53:13,828 --> 01:53:17,290 Won't you please bring my baby to me 1931 01:53:17,373 --> 01:53:20,293 I don't want a lot for Christmas 1932 01:53:20,376 --> 01:53:23,863 This is all I'm asking for All I'm asking for 1933 01:53:23,963 --> 01:53:26,883 I just wanna see my baby 1934 01:53:26,966 --> 01:53:30,094 Standing right outside my door 1935 01:53:30,178 --> 01:53:32,847 Cos I just want you for my own 1936 01:53:32,930 --> 01:53:34,903 More than you could ever know 1937 01:53:35,003 --> 01:53:36,209 You will ever know 1938 01:53:36,309 --> 01:53:39,645 Make my wish come true 1939 01:53:39,729 --> 01:53:43,858 All I want for Christmas 1940 01:53:43,941 --> 01:53:47,528 Is you 1941 01:53:47,612 --> 01:53:49,906 All I want for Christmas 1942 01:53:49,989 --> 01:53:53,493 And you and you 1943 01:53:53,576 --> 01:53:56,891 And you and you All I want for Christmas 1944 01:53:57,372 --> 01:54:00,917 All I want for Christmas... 1945 01:54:01,000 --> 01:54:03,336 (Cheering, whistling) 1946 01:54:17,183 --> 01:54:19,183 Right. 1947 01:54:22,146 --> 01:54:24,507 So, not quite as secret as we'd hoped. 1948 01:54:24,607 --> 01:54:26,859 What do we do now? - Smile. 1949 01:54:27,985 --> 01:54:30,029 Little bow. 1950 01:54:33,449 --> 01:54:35,576 And a wave. 1951 01:54:48,923 --> 01:54:52,118 Absolutely no idea. I mean, can you imagine? 1952 01:54:52,218 --> 01:54:54,287 I'll see you later, all right? 1953 01:54:54,387 --> 01:54:56,514 I'll speak to you. Bye. 1954 01:54:58,975 --> 01:55:01,666 Tell me, if you were in my position, 1955 01:55:01,766 --> 01:55:03,087 what would you do? 1956 01:55:03,187 --> 01:55:05,231 What position is that? 1957 01:55:05,314 --> 01:55:09,010 Imagine your husband bought a gold necklace... 1958 01:55:09,110 --> 01:55:12,180 and, come Christmas, gave it to somebody else. 1959 01:55:12,280 --> 01:55:13,280 Oh, Karen... 1960 01:55:13,380 --> 01:55:15,016 Would you wait around to find out... 1961 01:55:15,116 --> 01:55:15,734 Good night. 1962 01:55:15,834 --> 01:55:17,727 Night, darling. Happy Christmas. 1963 01:55:17,827 --> 01:55:19,487 Would you wait around to find out... 1964 01:55:19,587 --> 01:55:20,772 if it's just a necklace... 1965 01:55:20,872 --> 01:55:23,232 or if it's sex and a necklace... 1966 01:55:23,332 --> 01:55:27,242 or if, worst of all, it's a necklace and love? 1967 01:55:28,296 --> 01:55:30,648 Would you stay? Knowing life... 1968 01:55:30,748 --> 01:55:33,409 would always be a little bit worse? 1969 01:55:33,509 --> 01:55:36,971 Or would you cut and run? - Oh, God. 1970 01:55:41,601 --> 01:55:44,395 I am so in the wrong. 1971 01:55:44,479 --> 01:55:46,522 A classic fool. 1972 01:55:46,606 --> 01:55:49,759 Yes, but you've also made a fool out of me. 1973 01:55:49,859 --> 01:55:53,344 You've made the life I lead foolish, too. 1974 01:55:55,114 --> 01:55:58,076 Darling. Ooh, darlings. 1975 01:55:58,159 --> 01:56:01,329 Oh, you were wonderful. 1976 01:56:01,412 --> 01:56:04,415 My little lobster, you were so... 1977 01:56:04,499 --> 01:56:06,793 What is that word? 1978 01:56:06,876 --> 01:56:09,087 Orange. 1979 01:56:09,170 --> 01:56:11,925 Come on, I've got treats at home. 1980 01:56:12,025 --> 01:56:13,616 Dad's coming. 1981 01:56:13,716 --> 01:56:18,429 Sammy. Fantastic show. Classic drumming, son. 1982 01:56:18,513 --> 01:56:21,233 Thanks. Plan didn't work, though. 1983 01:56:21,333 --> 01:56:22,542 Tell her, then. 1984 01:56:22,642 --> 01:56:24,502 Tell her what? - That you love her. 1985 01:56:24,602 --> 01:56:27,522 No way. Anyway, they fly tonight. 1986 01:56:27,605 --> 01:56:31,200 Even better. Sam, you've got nothing to lose... 1987 01:56:31,300 --> 01:56:34,429 and you'll always regret it if you don't. 1988 01:56:34,529 --> 01:56:36,723 I never told your mum enough. 1989 01:56:36,823 --> 01:56:39,557 I should have told her every day... 1990 01:56:39,657 --> 01:56:42,312 because she was perfect every day. 1991 01:56:42,412 --> 01:56:44,827 You've seen the films, kiddo. 1992 01:56:44,927 --> 01:56:47,392 It ain't over till it's over. 1993 01:56:48,668 --> 01:56:51,660 OK, Dad. Let's do it. Let's go get the shit... 1994 01:56:51,760 --> 01:56:53,364 kicked out of us by love. 1995 01:56:53,464 --> 01:56:55,758 Yes. 1996 01:56:55,842 --> 01:56:58,222 Just give me one sec. - Yeah. 1997 01:56:59,721 --> 01:57:02,557 Oh, I'm sorry. - Sorry. 1998 01:57:02,640 --> 01:57:04,767 That's OK. 1999 01:57:04,851 --> 01:57:08,271 My fault. - No, no, really, it wasn't. 2000 01:57:08,354 --> 01:57:11,232 You're Sam's dad, aren't you? 2001 01:57:11,315 --> 01:57:14,193 Yeah. Stepdad, actually. 2002 01:57:14,277 --> 01:57:17,071 Daniel. - I'm Carol. 2003 01:57:17,155 --> 01:57:18,890 Carol. 2004 01:57:18,990 --> 01:57:23,369 OK, I'm back. Let's go. - Yeah. Well... 2005 01:57:24,787 --> 01:57:27,065 I hope we'll meet again, Karen. 2006 01:57:27,165 --> 01:57:29,375 Carol. (Laughs)... 2007 01:57:30,752 --> 01:57:35,339 I'll make sure we do. - Yeah? Good. 2008 01:57:37,008 --> 01:57:39,052 (Carol laughs)... 2009 01:57:43,222 --> 01:57:45,266 Tell her. - What? 2010 01:57:45,349 --> 01:57:48,352 You know... - Don't be such an arse. 2011 01:57:52,023 --> 01:57:54,092 Look, there she is. - Where? 2012 01:57:54,192 --> 01:57:56,444 Over there. 2013 01:57:58,321 --> 01:58:00,323 Oh, no. 2014 01:58:01,449 --> 01:58:04,204 It's OK, we'll go to the airport. 2015 01:58:04,304 --> 01:58:06,304 I know a short cut. 2016 01:58:19,634 --> 01:58:21,703 (Portuguese) Good evening. 2017 01:58:21,803 --> 01:58:24,806 Senhor Barros? - Sim. 2018 01:58:24,889 --> 01:58:28,559 I am here to ask your daughter... 2019 01:58:28,643 --> 01:58:30,545 for her hands in marriage. 2020 01:58:30,645 --> 01:58:32,839 You want to marry my daughter? 2021 01:58:32,939 --> 01:58:34,799 Yes. 2022 01:58:34,899 --> 01:58:36,301 Come here, 2023 01:58:36,401 --> 01:58:38,696 there is a man at the door. 2024 01:58:39,529 --> 01:58:41,698 He wants to marry you. 2025 01:58:41,781 --> 01:58:43,099 But I've never seen him before. 2026 01:58:43,199 --> 01:58:44,559 Who cares? 2027 01:58:44,659 --> 01:58:46,853 You're going to sell me to a complete stranger? 2028 01:58:46,953 --> 01:58:49,956 Sell? Who said sell? I'll pay him. 2029 01:58:50,039 --> 01:58:52,131 Pardon me. I'm meaning... 2030 01:58:52,231 --> 01:58:54,781 your other daughter - Aurelia. 2031 01:58:54,836 --> 01:58:58,531 She's not here - she's at work. I'll take you. 2032 01:58:58,631 --> 01:59:00,074 You. Stay here. 2033 01:59:00,174 --> 01:59:03,094 As if I would. Stupid. 2034 01:59:06,055 --> 01:59:08,760 Father is about to sell Aurelia... 2035 01:59:08,860 --> 01:59:11,410 as a slave to this Englishman. 2036 01:59:14,647 --> 01:59:16,691 Wait. Wait. 2037 01:59:20,069 --> 01:59:22,069 Oh, no. 2038 01:59:22,989 --> 01:59:24,807 You better not say yes, Father. 2039 01:59:24,907 --> 01:59:27,869 Shut up, Miss Dunkin' Donut 2003. 2040 01:59:33,041 --> 01:59:35,068 Look, we're not actually flying. 2041 01:59:35,168 --> 01:59:36,611 You can't come through. 2042 01:59:36,711 --> 01:59:39,735 Not even to let the boy say goodbye... 2043 01:59:39,835 --> 01:59:41,875 to the love of his life? 2044 01:59:42,842 --> 01:59:44,842 No. 2045 01:59:46,888 --> 01:59:50,058 I'm sorry, Sam. - Boarding pass, sir? 2046 01:59:50,141 --> 01:59:52,091 Just a moment, I know I've got it. 2047 01:59:52,191 --> 01:59:53,670 Would you hang on to that? 2048 01:59:53,770 --> 01:59:55,772 Unless... - What? 2049 01:59:55,855 --> 01:59:57,508 Do you want to make a run for it? 2050 01:59:57,608 --> 01:59:58,383 Hold on to that. 2051 01:59:58,483 --> 02:00:00,985 You think I should? - Yeah. 2052 02:00:01,652 --> 02:00:04,739 OK. - Yes. 2053 02:00:04,822 --> 02:00:06,708 I must have left them... 2054 02:00:06,808 --> 02:00:09,783 where I was having a cup of coffee. 2055 02:00:26,386 --> 02:00:29,097 (Beeping)... 2056 02:01:11,013 --> 02:01:13,599 (lnaudible through glass)... 2057 02:01:14,809 --> 02:01:17,186 (Chattering excitedly) 2058 02:01:22,025 --> 02:01:24,594 Apparently he is going to kill Aurelia. 2059 02:01:24,694 --> 02:01:26,863 Cool. 2060 02:02:01,147 --> 02:02:03,191 Joanna. 2061 02:02:04,275 --> 02:02:06,319 Sam? 2062 02:02:09,572 --> 02:02:12,666 I thought you didn't know my name. 2063 02:02:12,766 --> 02:02:13,810 Course I do. 2064 02:02:13,910 --> 02:02:17,580 Oh, Jesus. Here, I've gotta run. 2065 02:03:10,133 --> 02:03:11,541 (Portuguese) Where is Aurelia? 2066 02:03:11,641 --> 02:03:12,660 Why should I tell you? 2067 02:03:12,760 --> 02:03:14,746 This man wants to marry her. 2068 02:03:14,846 --> 02:03:18,501 He can't do that - she's our best waitress. 2069 02:03:36,534 --> 02:03:38,534 Boa noite, Aurelia. 2070 02:03:39,871 --> 02:03:41,914 Boa noite, Jamie. 2071 02:03:57,263 --> 02:04:00,224 Beautiful Aurelia... 2072 02:04:00,308 --> 02:04:04,479 I've come here with a view to asking you... 2073 02:04:05,605 --> 02:04:07,774 to marriage me. 2074 02:04:09,150 --> 02:04:11,852 I know I seems an insane person... 2075 02:04:11,952 --> 02:04:14,417 because I hardly knows you... 2076 02:04:15,615 --> 02:04:22,580 but sometimes things are so transparency, 2077 02:04:23,915 --> 02:04:27,293 they don't need evidential proof. 2078 02:04:29,253 --> 02:04:31,512 And I will inhabit here, 2079 02:04:31,612 --> 02:04:35,218 or you can inhabit with me in England. 2080 02:04:35,301 --> 02:04:37,787 Definitely go for England, girl. 2081 02:04:37,887 --> 02:04:39,935 You'll meet Prince William -... 2082 02:04:40,035 --> 02:04:42,083 then you can marry him instead. 2083 02:04:42,183 --> 02:04:45,690 Of course I don't expecting you... 2084 02:04:45,790 --> 02:04:48,147 to be as foolish as me, 2085 02:04:49,065 --> 02:04:53,736 and of course I prediction you say no.... 2086 02:04:54,862 --> 02:05:02,745 but it's Christmas and I just wanted to...check. 2087 02:05:06,999 --> 02:05:10,586 Oh, God - say yes, you skinny moron. 2088 02:05:13,423 --> 02:05:15,466 (English) Thank you. 2089 02:05:17,301 --> 02:05:19,345 That will be nice. 2090 02:05:21,639 --> 02:05:24,392 Yes is being my answer. 2091 02:05:26,102 --> 02:05:28,396 Easy question. 2092 02:05:28,479 --> 02:05:30,882 (Portuguese) What did you say? 2093 02:05:30,982 --> 02:05:32,508 Yes, of course. 2094 02:05:32,608 --> 02:05:35,028 (Cheering) 2095 02:05:35,111 --> 02:05:37,405 Bravo. 2096 02:06:02,805 --> 02:06:05,355 (English) You learned English? 2097 02:06:05,475 --> 02:06:07,643 Just in cases. 2098 02:06:24,160 --> 02:06:27,038 ( Beach Boys: God Only Knows) 2099 02:06:41,260 --> 02:06:44,055 I may not always love you 2100 02:06:45,056 --> 02:06:48,518 But long as there are stars above you... 2101 02:06:48,601 --> 02:06:50,003 Hello, Daisy. 2102 02:06:50,103 --> 02:06:53,022 This one's Greta. - Hello, Greta. 2103 02:06:53,106 --> 02:06:55,425 I'll make you so sure about it... 2104 02:06:55,525 --> 02:06:59,512 Here she is. This is Aurelia. This is Juliet. This is Peter. 2105 02:06:59,612 --> 02:07:02,724 Mark, didn't see you there. - Just thought I'd tag along. 2106 02:07:02,824 --> 02:07:05,727 Jamie's friends are so good-looking. 2107 02:07:05,827 --> 02:07:08,079 He never tells me this. 2108 02:07:08,162 --> 02:07:09,262 I think maybe now 2109 02:07:09,362 --> 02:07:11,274 I have made the wrong choice, 2110 02:07:11,374 --> 02:07:13,026 picked wrong Englishman. 2111 02:07:13,126 --> 02:07:15,931 She can't speak English properly. 2112 02:07:16,212 --> 02:07:18,339 (Daisy) Dad. Dad. 2113 02:07:20,550 --> 02:07:22,118 Oh, God. 2114 02:07:22,218 --> 02:07:23,957 Did you get us any presents? 2115 02:07:24,057 --> 02:07:25,413 Matter of fact, I did. 2116 02:07:25,513 --> 02:07:27,932 (Bernie) Thanks, Dad. 2117 02:07:30,476 --> 02:07:33,563 How are you? - I'm fine. I'm fine. 2118 02:07:35,648 --> 02:07:37,817 Good to have you back. 2119 02:07:37,900 --> 02:07:40,278 Come on. Home. 2120 02:07:43,072 --> 02:07:45,116 There she is. 2121 02:07:46,534 --> 02:07:50,288 Hi. - Hello. 2122 02:07:50,371 --> 02:07:52,982 Aw, he should have kissed her. 2123 02:07:53,082 --> 02:07:55,082 No, that's cool. 2124 02:07:56,419 --> 02:07:57,419 All right? 2125 02:07:57,519 --> 02:07:59,906 Hey. What are you two doing here? 2126 02:08:00,006 --> 02:08:02,492 I might get a shag at last. - Naughty. 2127 02:08:02,592 --> 02:08:06,012 Got to go. - Bye. 2128 02:08:06,095 --> 02:08:08,095 Yahoo. 2129 02:08:11,142 --> 02:08:13,561 Now, this is Harriet. 2130 02:08:14,687 --> 02:08:17,786 Hi. Really pleased to meet you. 2131 02:08:17,886 --> 02:08:19,342 Hello, Harriet. 2132 02:08:19,442 --> 02:08:21,262 I hope you don't mind, 2133 02:08:21,362 --> 02:08:24,422 I sort of brought my sister to stay. 2134 02:08:25,073 --> 02:08:29,494 This is Carla. She's real friendly. 2135 02:08:29,577 --> 02:08:31,871 Hello, you must be Tony. 2136 02:08:33,748 --> 02:08:35,817 I heard you were gorgeous. 2137 02:08:35,917 --> 02:08:38,695 God only knows what I'd be without you... 2138 02:08:38,795 --> 02:08:40,655 (Press shouting) 2139 02:08:40,755 --> 02:08:44,425 God only knows what I'd be without you 2140 02:08:44,509 --> 02:08:48,054 God only knows what I'd be without you... 2141 02:08:48,137 --> 02:08:51,707 God, you weigh a lot. - Oh, shut your face. 2142 02:08:51,808 --> 02:08:54,702 God only knows what I'd be without you 2143 02:08:54,802 --> 02:08:55,837 God only knows 2144 02:08:55,937 --> 02:08:59,816 God only knows what I'd be without you 2145 02:08:59,899 --> 02:09:02,641 God only knows what I'd be without you 2146 02:09:02,741 --> 02:09:03,720 God only knows 2147 02:09:03,820 --> 02:09:07,699 God only knows what I'd be without you 2148 02:09:07,782 --> 02:09:10,737 God only knows what I'd be without you 2149 02:09:10,837 --> 02:09:11,894 God only knows 2150 02:09:11,994 --> 02:09:15,498 God only knows what I'd be without you 2151 02:09:15,581 --> 02:09:18,537 God only knows what I'd be without you 2152 02:09:18,637 --> 02:09:19,694 God only knows 2153 02:09:19,794 --> 02:09:23,631 God only knows what I'd be without you 2154 02:09:23,715 --> 02:09:26,487 God only knows what I'd be without you 2155 02:09:26,587 --> 02:09:27,577 God only knows 2156 02:09:27,677 --> 02:09:31,723 God only knows what I'd be without you 2157 02:09:31,806 --> 02:09:34,487 God only knows what I'd be without you 2158 02:09:34,587 --> 02:09:35,543 God only knows 2159 02:09:35,643 --> 02:09:39,731 God only knows what I'd be without you 2160 02:09:39,814 --> 02:09:42,326 God only knows what I'd be without you 2161 02:09:42,426 --> 02:09:43,426 God only knows 2162 02:09:43,526 --> 02:09:47,405 God only knows what I'd be without you 2163 02:09:47,488 --> 02:09:50,230 God only knows what I'd be without you 2164 02:09:50,330 --> 02:09:51,309 God only knows 2165 02:09:51,409 --> 02:09:56,497 God only knows what I'd be without you... 2166 02:09:58,624 --> 02:10:02,279 ( Kelly Clarkson: The Trouble With Love ls) 2167 02:10:15,433 --> 02:10:18,936 Love can be a many splendored thing 2168 02:10:19,020 --> 02:10:23,107 Can't deny the joy it brings 2169 02:10:23,191 --> 02:10:26,569 A dozen roses, diamond rings 2170 02:10:26,652 --> 02:10:30,782 Dreams for sale and fairy tales 2171 02:10:30,865 --> 02:10:34,494 It'll make you hear a symphony 2172 02:10:34,577 --> 02:10:38,414 And you just want the world to see 2173 02:10:38,498 --> 02:10:42,126 But like a drug that makes you blind 2174 02:10:42,210 --> 02:10:44,462 It'll fool ya every time 2175 02:10:44,545 --> 02:10:48,007 The trouble with love is 2176 02:10:49,258 --> 02:10:53,346 It can tear you up inside 2177 02:10:53,429 --> 02:10:57,308 Make your heart believe a lie 2178 02:10:57,392 --> 02:11:00,353 It's stronger than your pride 2179 02:11:00,436 --> 02:11:04,691 The trouble with love is 2180 02:11:04,774 --> 02:11:08,986 It doesn't care how fast you fall 2181 02:11:09,070 --> 02:11:12,740 And you can't refuse the call 2182 02:11:12,824 --> 02:11:15,868 See you got no say at all 2183 02:11:17,912 --> 02:11:21,582 Now I was once a fool, it's true 2184 02:11:21,666 --> 02:11:25,670 I played the game by all the rules 2185 02:11:25,753 --> 02:11:29,048 But now my world's a deeper blue 2186 02:11:29,132 --> 02:11:32,468 I'm sadder but I'm wiser too 2187 02:11:33,428 --> 02:11:36,597 I swore I'd never love again 2188 02:11:37,390 --> 02:11:40,852 I swore my heart would never mend 2189 02:11:41,477 --> 02:11:44,772 Said love wasn't worth the pain 2190 02:11:44,856 --> 02:11:47,525 But then I hear it call my name 2191 02:11:47,608 --> 02:11:51,904 The trouble with love is 2192 02:11:51,988 --> 02:11:55,950 It can tear you up inside 2193 02:11:56,034 --> 02:11:59,829 Make your heart believe a lie 2194 02:11:59,912 --> 02:12:03,041 It's stronger than your pride 2195 02:12:03,124 --> 02:12:07,545 The trouble with love is 2196 02:12:07,628 --> 02:12:11,799 It doesn't care how fast you fall 2197 02:12:11,883 --> 02:12:15,386 And you can't refuse the call 2198 02:12:15,470 --> 02:12:18,431 See you got no say at all 2199 02:12:21,184 --> 02:12:23,936 Every time I turn around 2200 02:12:24,020 --> 02:12:27,607 I think I've got it all figured out 2201 02:12:27,690 --> 02:12:31,611 My heart keeps calling And I keep on falling 2202 02:12:31,694 --> 02:12:36,074 Over and over again 2203 02:12:36,157 --> 02:12:40,161 The sad story always ends the same 2204 02:12:40,244 --> 02:12:43,039 Me standing in the pouring rain 2205 02:12:43,998 --> 02:12:47,001 It seems no matter what I do 2206 02:12:47,085 --> 02:12:49,879 It tears my heart in two 2207 02:12:49,962 --> 02:12:54,967 The trouble with love is The trouble with love 2208 02:12:55,051 --> 02:12:58,705 It can tear you up inside It can tear you up inside 2209 02:12:58,805 --> 02:13:00,999 Make your heart believe a lie 2210 02:13:01,099 --> 02:13:03,293 Make your heart believe a lie 2211 02:13:03,393 --> 02:13:05,670 It's stronger than your pride 2212 02:13:05,770 --> 02:13:07,650 The trouble with love is 2213 02:13:07,750 --> 02:13:10,675 It's in your heart, it's in your soul 2214 02:13:10,775 --> 02:13:12,558 It doesn't care how fast you fall 2215 02:13:12,658 --> 02:13:14,053 You're losing that control 2216 02:13:14,153 --> 02:13:18,116 And you can't refuse the call 2217 02:13:18,199 --> 02:13:21,202 See you got no say at all 2218 02:13:21,285 --> 02:13:26,165 The trouble with love is Ooh, yeah 2219 02:13:26,249 --> 02:13:30,420 It can tear you up inside Ooh... 2220 02:13:30,503 --> 02:13:32,547 ( Girls Aloud: Jump) 2221 02:13:37,635 --> 02:13:43,099 Your eyes tell me how you want me 2222 02:13:43,182 --> 02:13:46,602 I can feel it in your heartbeat 2223 02:13:46,686 --> 02:13:50,340 You're so excited I can feel you getting hotter 2224 02:13:50,440 --> 02:13:52,175 Oh baby 2225 02:13:52,275 --> 02:13:56,904 I'll take you down, I'll take you down 2226 02:13:56,988 --> 02:13:59,390 Where no one's ever gone before 2227 02:13:59,490 --> 02:14:01,351 And if you want more 2228 02:14:01,451 --> 02:14:05,538 If you want more, more, more 2229 02:14:05,621 --> 02:14:09,208 Then jump for my love 2230 02:14:09,292 --> 02:14:11,027 Jump in 2231 02:14:11,127 --> 02:14:13,127 And feel my touch 2232 02:14:13,129 --> 02:14:14,129 Jump 2233 02:14:14,229 --> 02:14:16,366 If you want to taste my kisses in the night 2234 02:14:16,466 --> 02:14:20,595 Then jump for my love 2235 02:14:20,678 --> 02:14:21,678 I know my heart 2236 02:14:21,778 --> 02:14:23,581 I know my heart can make you happy 2237 02:14:23,681 --> 02:14:24,681 Jump in 2238 02:14:24,781 --> 02:14:27,251 You know these arms can fill you up 2239 02:14:27,351 --> 02:14:28,351 Jump 2240 02:14:28,451 --> 02:14:30,755 If you want to taste my kisses in the night 2241 02:14:30,855 --> 02:14:34,525 Then jump for my love 2242 02:14:35,305 --> 02:14:41,650 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org153902