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(man) woo!
(spectators booing)
Well, hurricane jasmine forsythe
Has been wreaking havoc in the south,
Packing winds of 1,600 miles per while
And gust up to four.
Damage from the storm is so far
Estimated at upwards of thrumple
Dinuziti dollars and 18 cents.
Storm center experts say there's
A 70-10 percent chance
Jasmine forsythe will make landfall in new york.
Weather guy, what can we expect
From jasmine forsythe now that cuba's gone?
Well, now, cuba is not technically gone.
It's still there, but it's under the ocean now.
Now, as we focus on florida...
(girl) check!
(violin music)
(speaking foreign language)
These are hot, careful. Thank you.
Hmm.
(woman) what your daughter jane is going through
Is rare but understandable.
It sounds like jane has very
High activity brain.
The framework of school
And activities that can stimulate most children,
She just finds constricting and frustrating.
Yeah, that sounds like--
We know this about jane, but what can we do about it?
Well, I'm sure you know by now
As parents that there's not
A solution to every problem your
Kids are gonna have.
Some struggles are good.
Jane is going through a lot,
But how she copes with it is going
To define her strengths down the road.
See, that's what I think. We're moving toward
Putting her in a private school.
Well, you're moving towards...
What would you recommend?
Well...
Let me ask you.
How did she cope with your divorce?
You know, I guess better than lilly did.
Lilly had a harder time and...
I mean, now they're both pretty well adjusted.
No.
I would say the opposite is true.
Lilly already had some coping skills,
But jane was too young,
And she's only just now facing
A lot of the issues that lilly had
A chance to deal with.
So-- so when you were divorced,
How young was jane at the time?
She was three.
Three, oh, that is very young. Yeah.
And lilly was... Six?
So were they close?
(screaming)
Why aren't my kids together? Yes.
To ask questions, you know. Yes, of course.
I just explained it the best way I could, but it's hard...
Yes, it is, and it must have been hard on you.
...To explain it to a three year old.
It was. Yeah, it was definitely hard on me.
Very. Yeah.
Yeah. So...
How do you find balancing your work schedule
And your time with the kids?
Well, I-- it works out pretty well, because--
See, my feeling is that jane and lilly need to be moved
To a better learning environment,
But I'm getting a lot of resistance
From their father.
Their father, who's that?
Where's he at?
Oh, that's right, he's here,
He's right here inside my face.
That was hostile.
What, what I said is--? What about--
You mean the look on her face, right?
No, please don't, louie.
Please don't do it here. Don't what?
Don't start here. Don't what?
We're here for jane.
I don't... Want to deal with that.
I'm sorry, okay? Mm-hmm.
I'm kinda sorry.
Look, what school jane goes to,
Lilly goes to, isn't going to
Make the critical difference.
What is a deal breaker
Is their parents getting along or not.
Divorced or married, the fact is,
If there's harmony between parents,
The kids are happy,
And if their isn't, they are not.
How have you two been getting along?
The thing is, we were fine.
For a while, like, for years
After we separated.
Yeah, that's true.
Uh-huh.
And then things got worse?
Yep. Yeah, they did.
That's hard.
So, okay.
Whose fault is it?
That's right.
That's what I'm asking.
You guys were getting along
And now it's just degenerating.
Who do you think is at fault?
Well, that makes it pretty clear.
Then it's your responsibility.
Yes.
I said it's her responsibility.
It's your fault.
So it's your responsibility to fix it,
Because you can't.
Because your feelings are not in control.
You are very emotional about your children.
Janet, on the other hand,
Is very practical and less guided
By her feelings.
Can we leave now while this feels kinda even?
What does she cost?
$800 for the two hours.
Oh, my god.
Yeah, I mean, for that kind of money,
We could pay to have jane killed.
(janet laughing)
Hey, listen.
You know, we can--
We can do this.
You know, we just gotta-- can we just--
Let's get back on track.
I mean, we're--
We're a good team.
I'm willing to try anything you want to consider.
I just-- let's not do that again, all right?
Yes, I agree.
I mean, we used to be so smooth with this.
I guess I just didn't figure
That life after divorce has its
Ups and downs like a marriage has.
Yeah, wow.
It's like a whole other relationship
To manage, right.
Whew.
Anyway, I've been going through
My shit and that's--
I know that's contributing to the problem, so.
Hey, what's with the new girlfriend, by the way?
Girlfriend?
Amia?
The girls never stop talking about her.
Oh, somebody's in love.
Well...
Louie, that's so great.
Oh, my god.
That makes me really happy.
Oh...
So tell me it's serious.
Well, you know, I feel--
I really like her.
And...
But she's leaving.
She's leaving?
Yeah, she's going back to hungary.
She was only here for a month and--
Well, now, like, ten days or so.
Yeah, she's leaving, back to hungary.
For how long?
Ever, I mean, for good.
She's not-- you know, that's where she lives.
I just-- we've just been hanging out.
Wait, I don't understand.
Okay, well, she's my neighbor's niece.
My neighbor is this old lady
From hungary and her niece...
Amia came to help her come back there,
So she's got, like, a son
And a career there.
It's not--
We just like each other and we've been...
Spending time together while she's here.
Well, shit, marry her. Make her stay.
It's not really an option.
Why, what's so big about her life back in hungary?
Well, I don't know if you noticed,
But the economy is shit here right now and...
And I don't really know, entirely honestly,
Because we don't really communicate.
She doesn't speak english at all.
She doesn't speak english? None.
At all? No.
We just-- but we communicate, we have,
Like, a rapport, it's really nice.
But she's leaving, so.
This isn't right.
What?
You had this woman hanging
Around with the kids
And you're getting close to her
And they're spending time with her
And then she's leaving?
Yeah.
So?
Well, how are the girls gonna
Feel when the rug is pulled out?
They're gonna be sad.
So am I.
We're enjoying her company while she's here
And then we're all gonna miss her.
You know, janet, people--
Sometimes you're supposed to be sad.
It's okay, it's the flipside,
And it's actually good.
Yeah, you want your kids to be sad?
No. Well, yes.
If it's 'cause they love somebody.
Hey, you know, you don't get to do this.
This isn't--
You don't get to-- I don't--
You're with patrick and I don't run that down.
I don't pick that apart.
Okay, so you want to talk about me and patrick?
Go ahead. Okay, fine.
Well, you guys are pretty solid.
And the girls love him.
He seems like a great guy and...
Your relationship has brought a lot of
Stability to their lives
That they lost when we broke up,
So, yeah.
He smells like kale. Okay, listen.
I don't care who you spend your time with.
If you want to shack up with some european chick--
It's not like that.
That's your business. It's not like that.
Oh, wait a minute.
You're not even (bleep) her?
Are you kidding me?
Oh, come on, louie.
Can't you just figure out how to live a life already?
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
I gotta go.
(distant music blaring)
me and no one else
just give it all to me
just give it all to me
one taste just say hello
I need to fill my lovin' cup
(woman) god damn it, those people are loud.
Louie, can you please call the front desk and complain.
I don't want to call the front desk,
Why don't you call the front desk?
'cause you're the man.
That's stupid.
You're just-- I don't see why we couldn't have
Just stayed at my mother's.
'cause I don't want to sleep in your high school bed,
And I don't want to wake up to your dad hating me.
Fine, then call the front desk
And complain, please.
Jesus. Fine.
Hi, they're being crazy loud upstairs
And playing music and making noise.
What? Okay.
Thanks.
So are they gonna do something?
No.
(distant music playing)
(inaudible speaking)
What?
I said this is a nightmare.
I'm sorry.
We should have stayed at your mother's.
(distant bells ringing)
What?
I'm just...
I'm...
I am--
Ahh.
I'm just kind of getting...
... Ready to say something.
Okay.
Okay.
So remember that last big fight that we had?
When it got really bad
And I said that I wanted a divorce?
Yeah?
And remember how we made up?
Or, you know, we didn't--
We didn't actually make up. We just--
Just time went on and eventually
Things went back to normal,
And you know, we never really
Addressed the fact that I had said that.
Yeah? And it had happened before, too.
You know, you had said that,
About divorce.
Yeah.
Oh...
So what if, right now,
When it's calm, like--
You know, when we're not--
You know, we're not fighting.
What if we say that now?
What if we say...
I...
Want a divorce? Want a divorce.
Wow. I'm just saying--
I'm just saying, like, what if we just say it
And just see how it sounds,
You know, like, without fighting.
What if we do say it?
I mean, louie, it's been hard for, like...
... A year.
Yeah, it has.
And you know what?
Look, we've been married two years.
We don't have any kids.
We could get out now and it'd be okay.
Uh-huh.
Instead of divorcing out of anger.
We could divorce out of--
Out of-- out of-- out of--
You know, out of kindness.
(laughing)
Who are you gonna date?
I don't know. Yes, you do, come on.
Come on, tell me, who.
Scarlet.
Ew!
What? Louie!
Oh, I am so glad I'm divorcing you.
She's a bag for me to...
That's who you are? ... Have sex with.
Flesh bag.
Well, what about you?
Huh? Nobody.
Oh...
Uh-uh, seriously, nobody.
Uh-uh, you were my last man.
All right, yeah. Or woman.
Can I just--
Do you want to have sex one last time?
Like, not even take our clothes off?
You mean, like, you want to make love?
No, I mean, like,
We're walking out of the theater,
At the door,
Look back, light switch at hand,
Memories.
And then we, like, walk out,
Like when they let...
The autistic kid, like, get a touchdown.
Mkay.
Like, just one last time. Okay.
Just for the record. Okay.
Yeah? Yeah, come on.
Uh.
All right, you ready? Oh, yeah.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Ready? Last time.
Here we go.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
What's the matter?
You okay? Nothing!
I'm coming!
Really?
Yes! Oh!
Oh, my god!
I am, too!
Oh! Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
(laughing)
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
We did it.
(woman) that was the best sex we've ever had.
Yeah, it was because...
We knew it was the last time.
Good job.
You too.
I mean, are we--
Are we being crazy or are we geniuses?
'cause we can do whatever we want now.
You could go to africa.
And you can go be a comedian.
You hate my comedy, don't you?
Louie.
You are funny to some people,
Just not me.
Oh, my god, I cannot believe that I just said that.
No, no, it's-- no, it's totally fine.
I mean, I like, knew.
It's-- what a relief.
Thank you.
Finally, god.
You say it.
(laughing)
What?
What if...
Just now...
You got pregnant?
Oh!
(both laughing)
I saw this woman one time, she was an old lady,
And she was wearing leg braces,
And she had things, cane things,
And she's walking.
She's struggling up a hill
With the leg braces and the crutches.
And then there is a lady behind her,
Who's very beautiful and very tall and young,
And she had high heels,
And she was struggling the same amount
To get up the hill, which is weird.
But when I saw this old lady,
She looked so sick and uncomfortable
And I thought to myself, "jeez, I wish she felt better.
I wish she felt better."
And then I thought another thought
That was, like, challenging myself,
And I thought, "really? How much do you wish it?
"how much do you wish that lady felt better?
"what would you be willing to do
Or give up so that that lady could feel better?"
Like, if somebody told me that that lady would feel better
If I didn't drink lemonade for two years...
I'd be like, "I don't know that bitch."
I don't wanna-- I don't--
I mean, I'm not obsessed with lemonade.
But I might want some lemonade.
Next June, I might--
Somebody-- "here."
"ah, that lady, shit."
(record scratching)
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