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1
00:00:06,900 --> 00:00:09,138
Knock, knock.
2
00:00:09,413 --> 00:00:10,413
Who's there?
3
00:00:10,776 --> 00:00:14,296
Lilly, knock, knock.
4
00:00:14,409 --> 00:00:16,634
Knock, knock.
5
00:00:16,747 --> 00:00:18,266
Lilly, knock, knock!
6
00:00:18,379 --> 00:00:21,969
Could you answer the door, please?
I don't want to.
7
00:00:22,082 --> 00:00:24,203
Well, then you have to
say "not home."
8
00:00:24,316 --> 00:00:26,640
Knock, knock.
9
00:00:26,753 --> 00:00:28,942
Not home.
10
00:00:29,055 --> 00:00:30,576
Daddy, knock, knock.
11
00:00:30,689 --> 00:00:31,977
No, no, no.
12
00:00:32,090 --> 00:00:34,577
You didn't want me a minute ago,
so I don't think so.
13
00:00:34,690 --> 00:00:36,679
But, please, Daddy, please.
14
00:00:36,792 --> 00:00:39,373
I want you now, please.
15
00:00:39,486 --> 00:00:40,486
Daddy.
16
00:00:40,599 --> 00:00:42,182
Please?
17
00:00:42,295 --> 00:00:44,517
Knock, knock.
18
00:00:44,630 --> 00:00:46,286
Who's there?
19
00:00:46,399 --> 00:00:47,821
Moo.
20
00:00:47,934 --> 00:00:49,456
Moo who?
21
00:00:49,569 --> 00:00:51,192
I didn't know you were crying.
22
00:00:51,305 --> 00:00:52,639
Cow.
23
00:00:58,310 --> 00:00:59,365
That's ridiculous.
24
00:00:59,478 --> 00:01:01,300
I have one.
Okay.
25
00:01:01,413 --> 00:01:02,701
Knock, knock.
26
00:01:02,814 --> 00:01:04,036
Who's there?
27
00:01:04,149 --> 00:01:06,339
Who.
Who who?
28
00:01:06,452 --> 00:01:07,452
Hi, owl.
29
00:01:09,484 --> 00:01:11,373
Knock, knock.
30
00:01:11,486 --> 00:01:12,940
Who's there?
31
00:01:13,053 --> 00:01:14,607
Painter.
32
00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:15,908
Painter who?
Painter who?
33
00:01:16,021 --> 00:01:18,273
The painter who painted
both of you as mermaids,
34
00:01:18,386 --> 00:01:20,039
but instead of
being underwater,
35
00:01:20,152 --> 00:01:21,685
it's pee-pee.
36
00:01:24,588 --> 00:01:26,076
What does that even mean?
37
00:01:26,189 --> 00:01:27,476
I don't--
I don't know, man.
38
00:01:27,589 --> 00:01:29,344
Daddy, you tell one.
39
00:01:29,457 --> 00:01:31,914
Okay.
40
00:01:32,027 --> 00:01:33,527
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
41
00:01:39,834 --> 00:01:41,422
I don't get it.
42
00:01:44,804 --> 00:01:46,504
Chicken.
Chicken who?
43
00:01:49,174 --> 00:01:51,395
I just don't get it.
44
00:01:51,508 --> 00:01:53,830
If you don't get it,
you just don't get it.
45
00:01:53,943 --> 00:01:55,531
But that's not fair.
That's okay, baby.
46
00:01:55,644 --> 00:01:58,300
Tell another one.
47
00:01:58,413 --> 00:02:00,635
I want to tell a joke.
48
00:02:00,748 --> 00:02:02,937
Not a knock-knock one.
49
00:02:03,050 --> 00:02:05,239
Like a riddle.
Okay, go ahead.
50
00:02:05,352 --> 00:02:07,041
I have kids,
and after you have kids,
51
00:02:07,154 --> 00:02:08,709
you reserve your wishes
for your kids.
52
00:02:08,822 --> 00:02:10,277
My kids, I love my kids.
53
00:02:10,390 --> 00:02:12,011
My daughter told me a joke
the other day,
54
00:02:12,124 --> 00:02:15,414
and she tells great jokes.
55
00:02:15,527 --> 00:02:17,349
They're not-- They're not like
anybody else's jokes,
56
00:02:17,462 --> 00:02:18,783
that's why I like them.
57
00:02:18,896 --> 00:02:20,451
I've been doing comedy
for 25 years.
58
00:02:20,564 --> 00:02:22,086
I know every joke.
59
00:02:22,199 --> 00:02:23,654
Even if I haven't heard it.
60
00:02:23,767 --> 00:02:26,022
You start telling me a joke,
I know how it's gonna work.
61
00:02:26,135 --> 00:02:28,191
But her jokes, I have no idea
what's gonna happen.
62
00:02:28,304 --> 00:02:30,192
I have no idea.
63
00:02:30,305 --> 00:02:33,395
This is the joke she told me
the other day, she said,
64
00:02:33,508 --> 00:02:36,142
"Who didn't let the gorilla...
65
00:02:40,147 --> 00:02:42,203
...into the ballet?"
66
00:02:42,316 --> 00:02:45,106
Who didn't let the gorilla
into the ballet?
67
00:02:45,219 --> 00:02:47,042
Already, I love this joke.
68
00:02:47,155 --> 00:02:48,943
I love this joke.
69
00:02:49,056 --> 00:02:51,579
I have not heard this joke.
70
00:02:51,692 --> 00:02:53,547
This is a new joke for me,
71
00:02:53,660 --> 00:02:56,050
who didn't let
the gorilla into the ballet?
72
00:02:56,163 --> 00:02:57,384
And I said, "Who?"
73
00:02:57,497 --> 00:02:59,019
And she said, "Just the people
who are in charge
74
00:02:59,132 --> 00:03:00,699
of that decision."
75
00:03:04,504 --> 00:03:07,493
Just the folks
who make that assessment.
76
00:03:07,606 --> 00:03:11,097
They-- Their judgment
was that it was--
77
00:03:11,210 --> 00:03:13,099
wasn't a good idea
to let 'em in.
78
00:03:13,212 --> 00:03:17,336
I love this joke
because I picture it.
79
00:03:17,449 --> 00:03:19,873
I-- A whole story's
in my head of
80
00:03:19,986 --> 00:03:22,542
people going
into a ballet theatre
81
00:03:22,655 --> 00:03:25,611
and the gorilla's just trying to
text and not make eye contact,
82
00:03:25,724 --> 00:03:27,346
just kinda--
83
00:03:27,459 --> 00:03:30,116
Just trying to go in,
it's cool.
84
00:03:30,229 --> 00:03:31,584
And somebody's--
"Hey, no, no, no, no, no, no.
85
00:03:31,697 --> 00:03:33,252
No, no, no, no--
you, no, no."
86
00:03:33,365 --> 00:03:34,553
"What?"
87
00:03:34,666 --> 00:03:35,922
"Yeah, you."
88
00:03:36,035 --> 00:03:39,359
"Yes, the gorilla,
I'm talking to the gorilla."
89
00:03:39,472 --> 00:03:40,493
"Why not, man?"
90
00:03:40,606 --> 00:03:41,794
"'Cause you're a gorilla,
91
00:03:41,907 --> 00:03:44,864
I don't even have to
say anything."
92
00:03:44,977 --> 00:03:47,032
"Don't I get
any credit for talking
93
00:03:47,145 --> 00:03:49,769
"and wanting to go to a ballet?
94
00:03:49,882 --> 00:03:51,771
Doesn't that
buy me any credibility?"
95
00:03:51,884 --> 00:03:53,271
"No, man, it's a long show.
96
00:03:53,384 --> 00:03:55,037
"It's three hours.
97
00:03:55,150 --> 00:03:56,704
"You're not gonna-- I'm telling
you, you're not gonna make it.
98
00:03:56,817 --> 00:03:59,506
"You're okay now,
but halfway through,
99
00:03:59,619 --> 00:04:01,774
"you're gonna start pounding
on people.
100
00:04:01,887 --> 00:04:04,774
"That's just the way
you guys are, man, I ain't--
101
00:04:04,887 --> 00:04:06,687
I ain't gonna get burned
like that again."
102
00:04:09,924 --> 00:04:12,279
A gorilla kills everybody
at the ballet once,
103
00:04:12,392 --> 00:04:14,160
shame on the gorilla.
104
00:04:19,962 --> 00:04:21,382
When you have children--
105
00:04:21,495 --> 00:04:23,181
Like, I was talking to my
daughter the other day,
106
00:04:23,294 --> 00:04:24,880
and I was talking
to her like this.
107
00:04:24,993 --> 00:04:27,580
I was bent over and I was
talking like this.
108
00:04:27,693 --> 00:04:29,448
I have no idea
what I was talking about.
109
00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:31,381
I think I even forgot while
I was saying it.
110
00:04:31,494 --> 00:04:34,383
I just was upset and I was
talking to her like this.
111
00:04:34,496 --> 00:04:37,017
And she's looking up at me with
this face, like, coping,
112
00:04:37,130 --> 00:04:39,152
like looking at me like--
113
00:04:39,265 --> 00:04:42,688
And I realized,
I'm her first asshole.
114
00:04:42,801 --> 00:04:44,234
Like, I'm the first one.
115
00:05:38,545 --> 00:05:40,567
My wife and I are very blessed.
116
00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:42,836
We have no children.
117
00:05:42,949 --> 00:05:44,371
We're not gonna have children.
118
00:05:44,484 --> 00:05:46,440
Refugee kids-- too bad,
I'll write you a check,
119
00:05:46,553 --> 00:05:48,275
but you're not
coming to my house.
120
00:05:48,388 --> 00:05:50,344
No kids.
121
00:05:50,457 --> 00:05:51,879
And people are very cruel
122
00:05:51,992 --> 00:05:53,680
when they meet couples
without children.
123
00:05:53,793 --> 00:05:55,081
They go, "Oh,
you don't have children?
124
00:05:55,194 --> 00:05:56,549
What happened?"
125
00:05:56,662 --> 00:05:58,017
What happened-- I pulled out,
I shot on the sheets,
126
00:05:58,130 --> 00:05:59,919
that's what happened.
127
00:06:00,032 --> 00:06:01,320
Married, buddy?
128
00:06:01,433 --> 00:06:02,854
Nope.
Nope! That's good.
129
00:06:02,967 --> 00:06:03,989
See that? Energy.
130
00:06:04,102 --> 00:06:05,823
How old are you?
131
00:06:05,936 --> 00:06:07,024
24.
132
00:06:07,137 --> 00:06:10,561
That guy has a young,
nervous penis.
133
00:06:10,674 --> 00:06:12,663
No, when you're 24 and single,
134
00:06:12,776 --> 00:06:14,231
your penis is like
the nervous guy
135
00:06:14,344 --> 00:06:16,066
in the World War II movies
in the foxhole.
136
00:06:16,179 --> 00:06:17,601
Any sound your penis hears--
137
00:06:17,714 --> 00:06:19,136
What was that?
138
00:06:19,249 --> 00:06:22,240
Let's go, let's go, let's move!
139
00:06:22,353 --> 00:06:24,576
I'm married in my 50s.
140
00:06:24,689 --> 00:06:27,246
My penis is relaxed.
141
00:06:27,359 --> 00:06:29,282
My penis is sitting in a chair,
smoking a pipe,
142
00:06:29,395 --> 00:06:31,751
reading the paper.
143
00:06:31,864 --> 00:06:34,454
My penis is like Bing Crosby.
144
00:06:34,567 --> 00:06:36,890
Yes, I heard a noise.
145
00:06:37,003 --> 00:06:40,260
Could be a hand,
could be a vagina.
146
00:06:43,477 --> 00:06:46,233
You've been very nice,
thank you very much!
147
00:06:46,346 --> 00:06:48,169
Thank you!
148
00:06:48,282 --> 00:06:52,852
Allan Havey!
149
00:06:54,321 --> 00:06:56,089
Allan Havey in the house.
150
00:07:02,931 --> 00:07:05,721
Did you hear about
Dominic Peretti?
151
00:07:05,834 --> 00:07:08,057
Who?
152
00:07:08,170 --> 00:07:11,260
That comic from Connecticut.
153
00:07:11,373 --> 00:07:12,828
The guitar guy?
154
00:07:12,941 --> 00:07:14,797
With the guitar?
No.
155
00:07:14,910 --> 00:07:16,599
The guy that did
the arms thing?
156
00:07:16,712 --> 00:07:18,834
Gets a chick onstage,
put her arms through his.
157
00:07:18,947 --> 00:07:21,470
Oh, a million guys do that bit.
158
00:07:21,583 --> 00:07:24,440
You don't remember
Dominic Peretti?
159
00:07:24,553 --> 00:07:27,209
Did he have an Asian wife?
160
00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:29,679
I don't know.
161
00:07:29,792 --> 00:07:32,081
Anyway, he died.
162
00:07:32,194 --> 00:07:34,917
Really?
Yeah.
163
00:07:35,030 --> 00:07:37,853
That's too bad.
164
00:07:37,966 --> 00:07:40,990
Hey, you want to come over
next week for dinner?
165
00:07:41,103 --> 00:07:43,458
To your house?
166
00:07:43,571 --> 00:07:46,227
Yeah, Debbie'll cook something.
167
00:07:46,340 --> 00:07:48,329
I don't think your wife
likes me, man.
168
00:07:48,442 --> 00:07:50,131
No, she likes you.
169
00:07:50,244 --> 00:07:51,867
I don't think so.
170
00:07:51,980 --> 00:07:53,270
It was her idea.
171
00:07:53,383 --> 00:07:54,872
She wanted me to ask you.
172
00:07:54,985 --> 00:07:56,641
She did?
173
00:07:56,754 --> 00:07:58,544
She said to invite you over.
174
00:07:58,657 --> 00:08:01,366
So come over, have dinner.
175
00:08:46,796 --> 00:08:48,185
Thank you very much.
176
00:08:48,298 --> 00:08:49,664
Thank you very much.
177
00:09:56,522 --> 00:09:57,610
Hey.
178
00:09:57,723 --> 00:09:58,845
Hi.
179
00:09:58,958 --> 00:09:59,784
How you doing, son?
180
00:09:59,904 --> 00:10:00,797
What's going on, how are you?
181
00:10:00,913 --> 00:10:03,236
Hi, sweetie.
Hi, Debbie, thanks for having me.
182
00:10:03,356 --> 00:10:04,203
Oh, totally.
183
00:10:04,316 --> 00:10:05,804
Lori.
184
00:10:05,917 --> 00:10:06,972
Hi, Debbie.
Hey.
185
00:10:07,085 --> 00:10:08,986
Lori, how you doing?
Come on in.
186
00:10:13,124 --> 00:10:14,479
Louie, this is Lori.
187
00:10:14,592 --> 00:10:16,181
Lori, this is Louie.
188
00:10:16,294 --> 00:10:18,462
Hi, nice to meet you.
Hi.
189
00:10:18,693 --> 00:10:19,694
Weird.
190
00:10:19,807 --> 00:10:21,186
Why?
191
00:10:21,299 --> 00:10:22,988
We were just both
at the liquor store.
192
00:10:23,101 --> 00:10:24,122
Oh.
193
00:10:24,235 --> 00:10:26,619
Well, let me get you a drink.
194
00:10:27,744 --> 00:10:29,181
I'll come with.
195
00:10:35,379 --> 00:10:37,269
Sorry.
196
00:10:37,382 --> 00:10:39,104
Allan.
197
00:10:39,217 --> 00:10:40,773
She wanted to set you up.
198
00:10:40,886 --> 00:10:42,074
I knew you wouldn't come.
199
00:10:42,187 --> 00:10:44,743
No, I wouldn't have, man.
200
00:10:44,856 --> 00:10:47,346
Look, just so you know,
this Lori,
201
00:10:47,459 --> 00:10:49,114
she didn't know, either.
202
00:10:49,227 --> 00:10:50,382
This is stupid, though.
203
00:10:50,495 --> 00:10:52,151
This kind of shit never works.
204
00:10:52,264 --> 00:10:54,620
It's a good dinner, we'll eat.
205
00:10:54,733 --> 00:10:56,054
You don't have to talk to her
if you don't want to.
206
00:10:56,167 --> 00:10:57,823
We'll go out to a bar.
207
00:10:57,936 --> 00:10:59,591
We'll leave them, I don't care.
208
00:10:59,704 --> 00:11:01,427
Hey, where's the vodka?
209
00:11:01,540 --> 00:11:03,062
You drank it.
Oh yeah.
210
00:11:03,175 --> 00:11:04,797
I got you here.
211
00:11:04,910 --> 00:11:06,878
That's all I promised her.
212
00:11:21,493 --> 00:11:25,417
So Louie's a comedian
just like Allan.
213
00:11:25,530 --> 00:11:26,797
Yeah?
214
00:11:30,034 --> 00:11:31,702
Yes, I'm a comedian.
215
00:11:34,477 --> 00:11:36,766
Louie.
216
00:11:36,879 --> 00:11:38,746
Why don't you ask Lori
what she does?
217
00:11:41,851 --> 00:11:44,775
What do you do, Lori?
218
00:11:44,888 --> 00:11:47,277
I have a landscaping company.
219
00:11:47,390 --> 00:11:48,679
I own six trucks.
220
00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:51,715
We cover Northern Jersey
and Nyack.
221
00:11:51,828 --> 00:11:55,353
In the summer, I got
two clam shacks in Sag Harbor.
222
00:11:55,466 --> 00:11:56,854
Wow.
223
00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:59,056
So you like own
your own business?
224
00:11:59,169 --> 00:12:00,424
Yeah.
225
00:12:00,537 --> 00:12:02,559
That's what I just told you.
226
00:12:02,672 --> 00:12:03,672
Lori.
227
00:12:17,257 --> 00:12:19,480
Why did you say not a word
during dinner?
228
00:12:19,593 --> 00:12:20,915
Oh, you want me to talk now?
229
00:12:21,028 --> 00:12:22,350
Yeah, I do want you
to talk now.
230
00:12:22,463 --> 00:12:24,119
That's bullshit.
No, it's not bullshit.
231
00:12:24,232 --> 00:12:26,288
I was in there all by myself.
232
00:12:26,401 --> 00:12:28,225
No you weren't, I was there.
Oh yeah, what did you say?
233
00:12:28,338 --> 00:12:29,727
I'm going out for a smoke.
234
00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:31,362
You want to join me?
235
00:12:31,475 --> 00:12:33,843
Oh, I don't smoke anymore,
but I'll keep you company.
236
00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:36,979
Whatever.
237
00:12:42,286 --> 00:12:44,508
Married people.
238
00:12:44,621 --> 00:12:46,577
They just want to spread
their shit on everybody.
239
00:12:46,690 --> 00:12:49,214
I know.
240
00:12:49,327 --> 00:12:51,650
I don't want a husband.
241
00:12:51,763 --> 00:12:53,798
Last thing I need's
another mouth to feed.
242
00:12:56,736 --> 00:12:58,692
Want to get out of here?
243
00:12:58,805 --> 00:13:00,361
Get a drink?
244
00:13:00,474 --> 00:13:01,763
Yeah.
245
00:13:01,876 --> 00:13:03,031
Yes.
246
00:13:03,144 --> 00:13:05,294
Come on, I'll drive you.
Okay.
247
00:13:18,001 --> 00:13:19,556
Oh yeah.
248
00:13:19,669 --> 00:13:22,523
You're not even menstruating.
249
00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:23,637
How do you know?
250
00:13:23,757 --> 00:13:25,296
Well, I just--
Sorry to assume.
251
00:13:25,409 --> 00:13:27,331
You haven't met every guy.
Sorry to assume.
252
00:13:27,444 --> 00:13:28,800
No, but it is.
253
00:13:28,913 --> 00:13:31,035
Like, you don't believe
anything good ever happens.
254
00:13:31,148 --> 00:13:32,470
Yep.
255
00:13:32,583 --> 00:13:33,705
Yep.
256
00:13:33,818 --> 00:13:35,006
And then what makes you--
257
00:13:35,119 --> 00:13:36,341
You know,
and then what happens?
258
00:13:36,561 --> 00:13:37,564
It's not that something
good happens.
259
00:13:37,684 --> 00:13:38,551
It's just that--
260
00:13:38,750 --> 00:13:40,205
No, something good happens
and you feel better
261
00:13:40,318 --> 00:13:41,740
and you forget
that you feel better
262
00:13:41,853 --> 00:13:43,308
'cause it was something--
263
00:13:43,421 --> 00:13:45,148
When does that--
When does that happen?
264
00:13:45,268 --> 00:13:47,112
Mostly, it's really shitty.
265
00:13:47,225 --> 00:13:49,280
I think-- Isn't it like, 90%
of the time, isn't it shitty?
266
00:13:49,393 --> 00:13:50,827
Pretty much.
267
00:13:57,234 --> 00:13:59,023
Why are you so much fun?
268
00:13:59,136 --> 00:14:01,025
Will you marry me?
No!
269
00:14:01,138 --> 00:14:03,409
Woo-hoo!
270
00:14:10,013 --> 00:14:11,469
You're a pisser.
271
00:14:11,582 --> 00:14:13,904
You're a pisser, too.
272
00:14:14,017 --> 00:14:16,285
You are seriously a pisser.
273
00:14:18,187 --> 00:14:20,376
Whoopsie-daisy.
274
00:14:20,489 --> 00:14:22,124
And a dribbler.
275
00:14:26,516 --> 00:14:28,706
This is the most fun
I've had in a long time.
276
00:14:28,819 --> 00:14:30,486
I know, me too.
277
00:14:32,556 --> 00:14:34,045
The best part about it is
278
00:14:34,158 --> 00:14:36,682
I never have to see
your ( blank ) face again.
279
00:14:36,795 --> 00:14:37,995
I know!
280
00:14:45,103 --> 00:14:47,225
What are you--
281
00:14:47,338 --> 00:14:49,260
Hey, what are you doing?
282
00:14:49,373 --> 00:14:51,128
I'm gonna put out.
283
00:14:51,241 --> 00:14:53,264
Let me blow you.
284
00:14:53,377 --> 00:14:54,965
Seriously?
285
00:14:55,078 --> 00:14:56,934
No, it's a hidden-
camera show.
286
00:14:57,047 --> 00:14:59,970
Come on, get that thing out.
287
00:15:00,083 --> 00:15:01,350
Okay.
288
00:15:04,688 --> 00:15:05,688
All right.
289
00:15:13,864 --> 00:15:16,187
Good?
290
00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:18,056
Yeah, that was--
291
00:15:18,169 --> 00:15:19,457
That was very good.
292
00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:21,426
Nice.
293
00:15:21,539 --> 00:15:23,106
Okay.
294
00:15:25,276 --> 00:15:27,132
Let's get some payback.
295
00:15:27,245 --> 00:15:28,567
What?
296
00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:30,736
Strap on the feedbag.
297
00:15:30,849 --> 00:15:32,538
Oh.
298
00:15:32,651 --> 00:15:35,174
Yeah.
299
00:15:35,287 --> 00:15:37,009
Um...
300
00:15:37,122 --> 00:15:39,512
Well, I don't really
want to do that.
301
00:15:39,625 --> 00:15:41,915
What?
I don't--
302
00:15:42,028 --> 00:15:44,196
I just don't want to--
I don't want to do it.
303
00:15:48,134 --> 00:15:49,857
Jesus.
304
00:15:49,970 --> 00:15:51,525
Don't tell me you're
one of those guys
305
00:15:51,638 --> 00:15:53,026
that doesn't eat pussy.
306
00:15:53,139 --> 00:15:54,294
No, I do.
307
00:15:54,407 --> 00:15:55,629
I do, I just--
308
00:15:55,742 --> 00:15:57,397
Just not with me?
309
00:15:57,510 --> 00:15:59,633
Yeah, no, not now.
310
00:15:59,746 --> 00:16:01,902
What do you mean not now?
311
00:16:02,015 --> 00:16:03,671
Well, that's very--
That's very intimate.
312
00:16:03,784 --> 00:16:05,173
I don't really know you.
313
00:16:05,286 --> 00:16:06,407
Intimate?
314
00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:08,476
Me sucking your dick's
not intimate?
315
00:16:08,589 --> 00:16:09,810
Well, no, apparently not.
316
00:16:09,923 --> 00:16:11,078
I mean, it didn't--
317
00:16:11,191 --> 00:16:13,114
It doesn't seem like
a big deal for you,
318
00:16:13,227 --> 00:16:16,551
but for me, it would be,
to do that, to you.
319
00:16:16,664 --> 00:16:18,752
You gotta be shitting me.
320
00:16:18,865 --> 00:16:20,688
I did you, you're not
doing me, that's not fair.
321
00:16:20,801 --> 00:16:21,956
Well, no, it's just--
322
00:16:22,069 --> 00:16:23,524
We just have different
values about that.
323
00:16:23,637 --> 00:16:24,892
This isn't about values.
324
00:16:25,005 --> 00:16:27,461
I just sucked your dick,
you can eat my pussy.
325
00:16:27,574 --> 00:16:30,610
I'm not gonna do it,
I'm sorry, it's just too soon.
326
00:16:33,114 --> 00:16:34,628
Are you saying I'm a whore?
327
00:16:34,741 --> 00:16:35,742
No!
328
00:16:35,855 --> 00:16:37,405
Not by how you feel.
329
00:16:37,518 --> 00:16:39,039
That's what you did,
I just--
330
00:16:39,152 --> 00:16:42,576
I'm just saying that if
I had done what you did, I--
331
00:16:42,689 --> 00:16:45,078
I would feel like a whore.
332
00:16:45,191 --> 00:16:46,613
You shouldn't have said that.
333
00:16:46,726 --> 00:16:47,815
Listen.
334
00:16:47,928 --> 00:16:49,416
Would you really want me
to do that to you
335
00:16:49,529 --> 00:16:50,751
if I didn't want to do it?
336
00:16:50,864 --> 00:16:54,155
I don't give a shit,
I just want to get off.
337
00:16:54,268 --> 00:16:55,824
You know how many dicks
I sucked
338
00:16:55,937 --> 00:16:58,293
I didn't want to suck,
'cause I'm a good kid?
339
00:16:58,406 --> 00:17:00,061
'Cause I do what's right?
340
00:17:00,174 --> 00:17:01,663
I never left anyone hanging.
341
00:17:01,776 --> 00:17:03,932
How dare you.
342
00:17:04,045 --> 00:17:05,467
Listen, if this is--
343
00:17:05,580 --> 00:17:08,336
If-- if you blowing me hinged
on my doing that to you,
344
00:17:08,449 --> 00:17:10,272
then you just should
have said something first.
345
00:17:10,385 --> 00:17:11,941
Your sperms are dying
346
00:17:12,054 --> 00:17:15,978
inside my mouth right now,
goddammit.
347
00:17:16,091 --> 00:17:18,314
Louie the gentleman.
348
00:17:18,427 --> 00:17:21,684
What is wrong
with this country?
349
00:17:21,797 --> 00:17:23,986
Just this is--
That's how I feel, it's--
350
00:17:24,099 --> 00:17:25,266
Obama.
351
00:17:29,471 --> 00:17:32,127
I say, this is balls.
352
00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:35,142
I'm gonna say it, this is
freaking balls on you.
353
00:17:38,847 --> 00:17:42,404
I'll tell you what, though.
354
00:17:42,517 --> 00:17:44,406
Wanna make a bet?
355
00:17:44,519 --> 00:17:46,742
What?
356
00:17:46,855 --> 00:17:48,979
I bet you 200 bucks
in about three minutes,
357
00:17:49,092 --> 00:17:51,983
you're gonna be licking
my asshole and my pussy.
358
00:17:52,096 --> 00:17:54,318
What?
I'm serious.
359
00:17:54,431 --> 00:17:55,853
You're gonna be.
360
00:17:55,966 --> 00:17:59,423
You're gonna be licking up
my asshole, my pussy,
361
00:17:59,536 --> 00:18:00,958
all back and forth.
362
00:18:01,071 --> 00:18:02,360
You're gonna be doing that.
363
00:18:02,473 --> 00:18:04,161
No, I think you're mistaken.
364
00:18:04,274 --> 00:18:06,597
I don't think it's--
That's not gonna happen.
365
00:18:06,710 --> 00:18:08,677
200 bucks.
Make it 1,000.
366
00:18:13,684 --> 00:18:16,986
You wanna know why
you won't do it?
367
00:18:19,591 --> 00:18:21,480
Why? I told you why.
368
00:18:21,593 --> 00:18:22,881
Oh yeah.
369
00:18:22,994 --> 00:18:25,517
And you're real smart
and make good points.
370
00:18:25,630 --> 00:18:28,053
But I think we both know
what's going on here.
371
00:18:28,166 --> 00:18:29,889
What?
372
00:18:30,002 --> 00:18:31,335
Faggot.
373
00:18:33,438 --> 00:18:35,227
Are you serious?
374
00:18:35,340 --> 00:18:36,929
I'm not gay.
375
00:18:37,042 --> 00:18:38,630
Yeah, you're gay.
376
00:18:38,743 --> 00:18:41,199
That's not gonna work.
377
00:18:41,312 --> 00:18:42,601
That's stupid.
378
00:18:42,714 --> 00:18:44,536
I'm not gay, you know
I'm not gay.
379
00:18:44,649 --> 00:18:47,139
You're gay, mm-hmm.
380
00:18:47,252 --> 00:18:49,810
I think you get girls
to blow you
381
00:18:49,923 --> 00:18:52,679
and you shut your eyes
and think about men.
382
00:18:52,792 --> 00:18:54,581
And then when it's your turn,
lo and behold,
383
00:18:54,694 --> 00:18:56,383
you're disgusted
by the female vagina
384
00:18:56,496 --> 00:18:58,018
because you're gay.
385
00:18:58,131 --> 00:18:59,286
That's not--
386
00:18:59,399 --> 00:19:00,854
That's so stupid, I'm not gay.
387
00:19:00,967 --> 00:19:03,090
Yeah, you get some tough girl
who chain smokes
388
00:19:03,203 --> 00:19:05,492
to blow you in her truck,
389
00:19:05,605 --> 00:19:07,027
and then you go home
and jerk yourself off
390
00:19:07,140 --> 00:19:08,440
thinking about dick.
391
00:19:10,110 --> 00:19:12,766
Oh, Jesus!
392
00:19:12,879 --> 00:19:14,734
Come on, come on!
Fucking--
393
00:19:14,847 --> 00:19:15,902
Come on!
394
00:19:16,015 --> 00:19:17,170
Lick it, lick it!
395
00:19:17,283 --> 00:19:18,338
Lick it!
396
00:19:18,451 --> 00:19:20,340
Lick it,
I'll break your finger!
397
00:19:20,453 --> 00:19:21,753
Okay, okay.
398
00:19:29,762 --> 00:19:31,418
Oh.
399
00:19:31,531 --> 00:19:34,554
Goddammit, you are crazy.
400
00:19:34,667 --> 00:19:36,722
You owe me a thousand bucks.
401
00:19:36,835 --> 00:19:39,091
Well, I don't have it on me.
402
00:19:39,204 --> 00:19:41,594
That's okay, you can pay me
next time.
403
00:19:41,707 --> 00:19:43,128
You want to
go out again, right?
404
00:19:43,248 --> 00:19:45,452
Yeah, sure.
Okay.
405
00:19:56,468 --> 00:19:58,890
Who told the gorilla
406
00:19:59,003 --> 00:20:01,626
that he couldn't go to
the ballet performance?
407
00:20:01,739 --> 00:20:03,028
What?
What?
408
00:20:03,141 --> 00:20:04,997
Who told the gorilla
409
00:20:05,110 --> 00:20:07,499
that he couldn't go to
the ballet performance?
410
00:20:07,612 --> 00:20:09,735
I don't know, who?
411
00:20:09,848 --> 00:20:14,306
Well... just whoever
was in charge.
412
00:20:14,419 --> 00:20:16,875
The people in charge decided
413
00:20:16,988 --> 00:20:19,611
not to put a gorilla in,
414
00:20:19,724 --> 00:20:20,924
in case there was problems.
415
00:20:24,062 --> 00:20:25,483
That's really funny, Jane.
416
00:20:25,596 --> 00:20:27,252
It's a good joke.
Thanks.
417
00:20:27,365 --> 00:20:28,787
Yeah, that's really good.
418
00:20:28,900 --> 00:20:30,701
It's really good.
419
00:20:32,270 --> 00:20:33,558
You guys done eating?
420
00:20:33,671 --> 00:20:34,892
I'm done.
421
00:20:35,005 --> 00:20:36,372
Okay, go do your homework.
422
00:20:39,810 --> 00:20:41,765
Thank you for making
the nice food, Daddy.
423
00:20:41,878 --> 00:20:43,000
Thank you so much.
424
00:20:43,113 --> 00:20:44,135
Oh, you're welcome.
425
00:20:44,248 --> 00:20:45,870
Oh, no problem.
426
00:20:45,983 --> 00:20:47,938
Yeah, Daddy, it's really nice
how you make food for us
427
00:20:48,051 --> 00:20:50,975
all the time
and clean up afterwards.
428
00:20:51,088 --> 00:20:53,243
Well, jeez, girls.
429
00:20:53,356 --> 00:20:56,035
Your appreciation really makes
it all worth it, you know.
430
00:20:56,085 --> 00:21:00,635
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