Original subtitles

Sync & corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com

♪ Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie ♪

♪ Louie, Louie, Louie Louaaa ♪

♪ Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie ♪

♪ Louie, Louie you're gonna cry ♪

♪ Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie ♪

♪ Louie, Louie, Louie Louaaa ♪

♪ Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie ♪

♪ Louie, Louie you're gonna die ♪

♪ Louie, Louie, Louie Louie... ♪

No, I like-- my favorite thing to do is sleep now.

I love sleep.

Sleep is like-- that's my thing.

I love it.

And my kids don't let me.

They get me up at 6:00 in the morning.

I don't have to get up 'til, like, 7:00 a.m.

to get them to school.

They wake up at 6:00.

They don't-- I don't even understand this shit...

with getting out of bed before you have to.

They wake up and they're like...

They're so excited and they want to--

I get it, they want to share with me.

"Daddy, look, it's all still here !"

That hurts my brain, 'cause at--

at 6:00 a.m., I'm just--

Uh, I'm so deep in the-- in the deep African sleep,

like it's just an ancient, mysterious,

submerged in a river of warm chocolate, just...

Ahh...

And sleep was like a goddess whore

just sucking me off, just...

( slurping )

Ahh...

She's got a gold helmet and 40 tongues and she's--

( slurping )

( gurgling )

( slurping )

Ahh...

And she's speaking in a dead language.

Los stalica forgentila !

( slurping )

Seiz deleca porgentila !

Ahh...

And she's feeding syrupy heroin

into my penis while she's sucking--

( slurping )

For stalica forgentila !

Uh, let this be my life!

Please let this be real, let this be real.

"Daddy !"

No, oh, shit!

"Daddy, wake up !"

( bleep )

Thanks a lot, folks, good night.

Thank you very much.

( cheers and applause )

( cheers and applause )

Hey, good set.

Hey, thanks, man.

I didn't really see any of it,

but they sounded happy through the door.

Yeah, thank you.

Hey, man, good set.

Hey, how's it going? All right.

This is my agent, Doug.

This is Steven.

Nice to meet you, big fan.

Thank you.

See you later, man.

Wait, you leaving?

Yeah, I gotta--

Why, what?

After a set like that,

you gotta hang out and get laid.

I haven't done that since I was, like, 20.

I got kids.

I gotta go home and pick 'em up in the morning.

That's a complete waste.

Is that what you do?

You hang out after shows and pick up girls?

Heck no.

I have a family.

I have a wife and two kids

and I'm taking them to Six Flags in the morning.

But you need to stay here and get some tail.

After a set like that,

you own every woman in that place.

You can have anyone you want,

so you need to stay here.

Now just sit down, goddamn it, and wait.

Don't be an asshole.

Can I get a shot?

A shot of what?

Whiskey.

What kind of whiskey?

Just, please, a brown liquid

that makes people feel differently than

if they didn't drink it.

( coughing )

Hey.

That was a really good set.

Thank you.

I know, I was watching you all night inside.

It was really, really good. Really, thank-- That's--

Really, really, really good new stuff.

Thank you, that's nice that you were watching, that's...

Thanks a lot.

Do you have new head shots?

Excuse me?

I need new head shots for the website,

- because I only have the ones from when you were younger. - Sure.

Can you have those sent to the office? Yes, I'll do that, the...

Yup.

Thank you.

( woman ) I know.

It was amazing, right?

It was amazing, but it was a very long day.

Oh, it was, it was...

15 hours.

But, still, we had a good time, right?

I know, I know, it was wonderful.

( no sound )

( sighing )

( horns honking )

Hello.

Hello?

Hi.

The show was terrific.

Oh, you were at--you were at the show? Yes.

Thank you.

Thanks very much.

I've just been sitting out here,

hoping you would come out.

Why were you doing that?

Because I wanna show you my pussy.

Well...

that's-- that's very nice.

I'm glad you enjoyed the show.

( beeping )

So what is-- what's your name?

My name is Eunice.

Eunice.

Where are we going?

My house.

Your house?

You didn't want me to show you my pussy

in the street, did you?

No, no, I didn't--

I didn't want you to show me my-- your--

I didn't want you to show you mou..

It's just that I don't know you

and it's a little weird to be going to your home.

Um, and I didn't-- I-- I--

( horn honking )

Are we going to New Jersey?

Maybe.

Listen, I-- I don't know you

and I guess I feel a little funny,

because I'm-- I'm in the middle...

This is-- this is a very nice house.

Yes, well, we're very wealthy.

Hello, darling.

John, this is Louie.

How do you do?

Hello.

Uh, you're-- Jonathan's my husband.

Oh, this is, uh...

( chuckling )

I didn't know that you had a--

What did you tell him?

I told him I wanted to take him home

and show him my pussy.

Did she tell you that?

Well...

She said something like that, yes, I--

Well, great!

Let's get started.

Wait a minute, hold on a second.

What's the matter?

You guys wanna do this together as a--

Well, she's my wife.

Don't I get to see it, too?

Yeah, but-- I-- I-- it's just that--

Look.

A man and a woman and me together with a--

I'm not-- I-- I-- I've never done--

You got into the car, you came here with me.

Yeah, but I-- I thought that we would be alone.

And what right did you have to assume that?

Yes.

What right did you have?

Do you guys do this all the time?

Well, that's a bit of none of your business.

Listen, John, I saw your show,

I thought you were very talented,

that really... turned me on,

and I though it might be nice to share you

with my husband.

Listen, whatever you guys are into, that's fine.

I just-- I think I better go.

What's the matter, you don't like my wife?

You're too good for her?

No. Huh?

She's great, I just--

I have kids, I gotta pick 'em up in the morning,

and I-- I didn't...

Well go on, then.

Get out of here.

Can you drive me back to the city?

Well, I really don't wanna go back out.

We have to be up early.

The children have soccer tomorrow.

It's the playoffs.

Can you call me a cab,

'cause I don't even know where I am right now.

I think you better go, buddy.

I think you better leave.

Now! ( gasping )

( sighing )

Hello?

Hey, man, listen, I'm...

I'm stranded out in the middle of New Jersey somewhere.

What?

( woman ) Who's that?

It's Louie.

I got into a weird thing with some woman and I don't--

I don't know where I am, but could you come get me?

I think I'm near you.

Okay, so you don't know where you are

but you want me to come and get you?

You're not going anywhere.

Well, I'm stranded out here.

And that just became my problem.

There's no street signs.

I have no idea how to find anyplace.

I've been walking for ten minutes.

You got GPS on your phone?

I don't know, I--

You got GPS on your phone.

Anyway, hang up, look up where you are

and I'll come and get you, okay?

Okay.

Bye.

You're not going anywhere.

I told you to stop being friends with him when he got divorced.

You can't trust divorced people.

They ruin their lives and now they wanna--

So you just jumped in a woman's car,

just like that?

Well, she said she was gonna--

Show you her pussy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's real smart, Louie.

So now my wife's mad at me

and I'm driving you around at 2:00 in the morning.

I'm soy, okay?

I said I'm sorry.

Just please take me home, okay?

I'm not taking you home.

I'll take you to my place, you'll spend the night.

No, I can't, I gotta pick up my kids in the morning.

Oh, God.

All right, you know what?

You'll come back to my place,

you'll call a cab, they'll pick you up, okay? Okay.

All right, all right.

I'm not taking you to the city at 2:00 in the morning

'cause you had to look at

some crazy woman's vagina. Okay.

That's not how I plan my life, okay? I-- I get it.

All right.

I'm sorry and thank you.

Gotta grow up, man. Thank you and I'm sorry.

Okay, okay!

Next time, find a vagina in New York, okay?

She was in New York.

Well, that lives in New York.

I didn't know, I didn't ask her--

Somebody says, "I wanna show you my pussy,"

I don't ask 'em where--

Do you live in this area code?

Well, you should.

Thank you.

Thanks, baby.

Coming to my house, 2:00.

What are you doing, man?

Goddamn. Doing what?

With your life, what are you doing?

You're a father, Louie.

Jumping into cars, messing around with swingers.

This is 30-year-old shit, it's not 40-year-old shit.

Come on, man, when are you gonna grow up?

When are you gonna settle down?

Settle down?

I'm divorced.

Yeah, well, you still gotta grow up.

You got out of your marriage, good for you.

But look at you, man.

You're getting into cars with crazy people,

you gotta take care of your kids in the morning.

Where is this headed?

I don't know.

Well, you're 43, you should know.

Where are you headed? Where am I headed?

I ain't headed nowhere, I'm right here.

In my house, with my wife, with my kids,

for better or worse--

Worse most of the time, but I'm here, okay?

I'm not in the wrong state,

calling up your wife, pissing people off,

having you come and pick me up like some drunken teenager.

Okay, I feel appropriately shitty. Good.

Yes, thank you.

You are a lot better than I am.

Damn right he is.

He's ten times the man you are.

Stop it.

Don't tell me when I can talk.

It's not your conversation.

It is when it's in my house!

And tell your fat friend that this is my house, not his.

I just want to ask you, have you ever done something

or lived a moment that you, afterwards, said,

"Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna tell anybody about that"?

( audience laughing )

"Yeah, that's going to my grave with me, that one is."

Either because you're--

It's stupid, embarrassing or horrible.

You just think, yeah, that's staying with me.

That's-- I'm not telling any people about that.

I would say that probably 40% of my life

is made up of moments like that.

So...

( airplane approaching )

Wee here so early.

Well, it's good to get here early, because--

Can I smoke in your car?

Please don't.

Can I have one?

Thank you.

So why-- why are you going to Paris?

Serge's dad sent for him two weeks ago

and he's been there two weeks.

I guess they bonded and...

he wants to be with him.

Who wants to be with which?

Both.

They both want to be together.

A month ago, Serge never even mentioned he had a dad,

his dad never called, everything was fine,

now they're in Paris and, all of a sudden,

they give a shit about each other.

So you're going for what?

Why are you...

I'm going to give it a shot.

Give what a shot?

I don't know, man.

Don't ask me.

I'm going.

But, so-- how long are you--

I'm gonna check in and drink at the gate.

Okay.

So how... long are you going for?

Thanks for driving me here, by the way.

That was nice.

Sure, but, so how--

When are you coming back?

Can I help you?

Yes, I'm going to Paris.

Okay, passport, please.

Thank you.

Can I have your passport, too?

- I'm-- I'm not going. - Just me. - All right.

Okay.

Do you mind taking one of those bags off, please?

I'm sorry. Thanks.

All right.

Got your--

What's your return-- what's the return?

But so when are you-- when are you...

When are you coming?

Okay.

Listen, here's the deal.

I'm going to Paris

to make it work with my kid's dad

and I'm not coming back.

You understand?

I'm going there. Well...

Okay, here's the thing.

You gotta move on, dude.

I mean, I-- I don't think I'm being arrogant

by saying that regardless of the fact

that I've done nothing

but let you know there's no shot in hell

of you ever being with me,

you still got all your hopes pinned on me, am I right?

Yeah. Right.

So what I'm saying to you

right here and now in this airport is,

stop doing that.

You gotta move on, I'm going to Europe.

Yeah, but you might come back.

Louie.

Look, I know the chances are slim,

but I-- I think we're supposed to be together.

Jesus.

Come on, man.

I'm not attracted to you.

Why do you keep making me say mean things to you?

I'm just saying, this guy is a piece of shit.

I know that.

He left you and he left the kid

and now he has a whim to be a family again

and I'm, frankly, a little shocked.

What, what?

That-- What?

You're really strong.

You're tough and you're no bullshit

and here you're tailing after this guy?

Stop it.

Okay, maybe you're not attracted to me.

No, no, not maybe.

I am not.

I have a hard time believing that I feel this way

and that there's nothing coming back.

I think you're just not aware of it yet.

( snorting )

Oh, God.

Louie, come here.

Oh...

You're the most ( bleep ) person I ever knew.

I love you... I do,

but you gotta move on.

You gotta move on.

Forget about me, now.

I get it, I know what's going on here, okay?

I'm not stupid.

It's just that--

You don't meet somebody like you every day, and I just--

I think I'm gonna wait.

Don't.

It's my choice, I can if I want to.

No, don't.

You can't tell me not to.

If I wanna do it, I'll wait, I'm gonna wait.

I gotta go, dude.

It has not been a bummer knowing you.

I will say that.

Thanks.

You're a good guy.

You're a good dad.

And you're a good friend to someone

who you have an unhealthy obsession with.

But just...

You gotta give yourself a break, okay?

You're really going, aren't you?

Yes, Louie, I'm going.

Oh, shit.

Okay, really?

Really now-- now it's bye.

Bye.

Hi.

Thank you.

( man ) Go, passengers, down to one.

Go down to two.

Wave to me, dummy.

Wave to me!

Wave to me!

What ?!

Wave to me!

What ?!

Oh, Jesus.

Wave to me, wave to me!

Wait for you ?!

What ?!

Wait for you?

Wave to me!

Wait-- wait for you?

( woman on PA ) ... Flight 1760...

You said-- you said wait for you?

Yeah, wave to me!

I will, I'll wait for you!

I'll wait for you!

Pamela, I will wait for you!

I...

I will wait for you!

Pamela!

I will wait for you!

I'll wait for you!

Sync & corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0