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00:00:02,396 --> 00:00:09,923
Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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♪ Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie ♪
3
00:00:14,786 --> 00:00:17,713
♪ Louie, Louie, Louie Louaaa ♪
4
00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:22,360
♪ Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie ♪
5
00:00:24,212 --> 00:00:26,811
♪ Louie, Louie you're gonna cry ♪
6
00:00:28,745 --> 00:00:31,445
♪ Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie ♪
7
00:00:33,519 --> 00:00:36,155
♪ Louie, Louie, Louie Louaaa ♪
8
00:00:38,126 --> 00:00:40,862
♪ Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie ♪
9
00:00:42,801 --> 00:00:49,675
♪ Louie, Louie you're gonna die ♪
10
00:00:50,131 --> 00:00:54,415
I heard that ducks have one hole.
11
00:00:54,482 --> 00:00:57,286
I don't know if you know that,
but ducks have one hole,
12
00:00:57,353 --> 00:00:59,154
and they pee out of it
13
00:00:59,222 --> 00:01:01,122
and they shit out of it,
14
00:01:01,190 --> 00:01:03,793
they get ( blank ) in it
15
00:01:03,861 --> 00:01:07,129
and they lay eggs out of it.
16
00:01:07,196 --> 00:01:08,764
That...
17
00:01:08,831 --> 00:01:12,034
has got to be one smelly,
dirty hole.
18
00:01:12,101 --> 00:01:15,603
That hole has got to
be a pretty awful place.
19
00:01:19,173 --> 00:01:22,642
I feel a little bard for
the man duck,
20
00:01:22,710 --> 00:01:24,342
because ducks are monogamous.
21
00:01:24,410 --> 00:01:25,644
I don't know if you know that,
22
00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:27,412
but ducks stay in their
relationships forever
23
00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:30,684
and by the time
that duck gets to be 48,
24
00:01:30,752 --> 00:01:31,818
her husband must be like,
25
00:01:31,886 --> 00:01:33,653
"Dude...
26
00:01:36,424 --> 00:01:37,591
"... that shit sucks.
27
00:01:37,659 --> 00:01:39,861
I hate it."
28
00:01:39,929 --> 00:01:43,298
And then he goes and ( blank )
a swan or something.
29
00:01:43,365 --> 00:01:46,067
His wife's like, "Why do you
have to ( bleep ) a swan for ?"
30
00:01:46,135 --> 00:01:47,969
She's got an asshole, that's why.
31
00:01:48,036 --> 00:01:50,738
She's got an asshole.
32
00:01:50,805 --> 00:01:51,805
Okay?
33
00:01:51,873 --> 00:01:53,373
I got a green head.
34
00:01:55,410 --> 00:01:57,844
( audience laughing )
35
00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:01,447
I don't know what
that means, just somehow...
36
00:02:01,515 --> 00:02:04,617
They got green heads,
they deserve more.
37
00:02:04,685 --> 00:02:08,120
Speaking of animal-type humor
that's not totally finished,
38
00:02:08,188 --> 00:02:11,123
uh, I...
39
00:02:13,094 --> 00:02:15,061
... I actually, I have
this "joke-joke,"
40
00:02:15,129 --> 00:02:16,396
like a, you know,
41
00:02:16,464 --> 00:02:18,632
"animals talking to each other"
type joke,
42
00:02:18,700 --> 00:02:19,867
that I don't know
how to finish it.
43
00:02:19,935 --> 00:02:21,802
I know what's funny about it,
44
00:02:21,870 --> 00:02:22,970
but I don't know how to
finish it.
45
00:02:23,038 --> 00:02:24,872
What--
Basically, it's about a lion
46
00:02:24,940 --> 00:02:27,041
who goes up to the giraffe
47
00:02:27,109 --> 00:02:31,512
and he says, "Hey, man,
did you see that dude ?"
48
00:02:31,580 --> 00:02:32,913
And the giraffe's like,
"What dude ?"
49
00:02:32,981 --> 00:02:34,214
And he goes, "He's that dude,
50
00:02:34,282 --> 00:02:37,284
"he lives by the river
in a hut."
51
00:02:37,351 --> 00:02:39,119
And the giraffe goes,
"What does he look like ?"
52
00:02:39,186 --> 00:02:41,054
And the lion goes,
"He looks like this,
53
00:02:41,121 --> 00:02:42,622
'Ahhh !'"
54
00:02:46,059 --> 00:02:47,626
And the giraffe's like,
"Well, I know a dude
55
00:02:47,694 --> 00:02:50,329
that lives by the river,
but he doesn't look like that."
56
00:02:50,396 --> 00:02:53,633
He goes, "No, that's what
he looks like, 'Ahhh !'"
57
00:02:53,700 --> 00:02:56,369
The giraffe says, "I know
a guy, but he looks like this."
58
00:02:58,105 --> 00:03:00,707
See, the lion just thinks that
people look like that.
59
00:03:04,012 --> 00:03:06,913
The lion doesn't
get that he makes
60
00:03:06,981 --> 00:03:09,550
a person look like that...
61
00:03:09,618 --> 00:03:11,285
by scaring the shit out of them.
62
00:03:11,352 --> 00:03:12,786
He just thinks that,
63
00:03:12,854 --> 00:03:14,221
"Hey, that's that dude that's
always going, 'Ahhh !'"
64
00:03:14,288 --> 00:03:17,090
That's what he's like.
65
00:03:17,158 --> 00:03:19,726
He doesn't see his own part of...
66
00:03:28,835 --> 00:03:30,569
Hello, Daddy.
Hey, baby, how you doing?
67
00:03:30,637 --> 00:03:31,871
Hi.
Hi.
68
00:03:31,938 --> 00:03:34,040
You need to take home
the ducklings tonight.
69
00:03:34,108 --> 00:03:35,375
Take what?
70
00:03:35,443 --> 00:03:37,110
We're raising ducklings
71
00:03:37,178 --> 00:03:38,078
and they can't
stay in the school,
72
00:03:38,145 --> 00:03:40,013
so you gotta take 'em.
73
00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:42,515
Yay, can we--
No, no, wait, wait, wait, no, no, this is not--
74
00:03:42,583 --> 00:03:43,716
Why me, why am I doing this?
75
00:03:43,784 --> 00:03:45,418
Every family took a turn,
it's your turn.
76
00:03:45,485 --> 00:03:46,385
Yeah, but I--
I'm going to--
77
00:03:46,453 --> 00:03:48,321
I'm going to Afghanistan.
78
00:03:48,389 --> 00:03:50,323
It's your turn to take the ducklings.
We can put them in a bathtub.
79
00:03:50,391 --> 00:03:52,158
Yeah, but listen, I have tomorrow morning--
And they can sleep in my bed!
80
00:03:52,226 --> 00:03:54,094
Excuse me, Jane, baby.
81
00:03:54,161 --> 00:03:56,162
Tomorrow morning, I have--
I'm starting a USO tour,
82
00:03:56,230 --> 00:03:57,364
do you understand?
83
00:03:57,431 --> 00:03:58,732
I'm going all over
the Middle East.
84
00:03:58,799 --> 00:04:00,333
I'm going to Iraq
and Afghanistan and Kuwait.
85
00:04:00,401 --> 00:04:02,802
Are you dropping Jane here tomorrow morning?
Yes, I am.
86
00:04:02,870 --> 00:04:06,940
Well, so take 'em
and bring 'em back tomorrow.
87
00:04:07,008 --> 00:04:08,241
Yay!
Yes!
88
00:04:08,308 --> 00:04:09,943
Yes!
Yay!
89
00:04:10,010 --> 00:04:11,378
Yes!
90
00:04:11,445 --> 00:04:13,313
Yeah.
We can put them in the bathtub!
91
00:04:13,380 --> 00:04:15,081
Yeah, whatever.
We gotta give 'em a bath!
92
00:04:15,149 --> 00:04:16,983
All right, come on.
Yeah, they can sleep in my bed.
93
00:04:18,285 --> 00:04:19,385
Look how...
94
00:04:20,553 --> 00:04:21,653
Oh!
95
00:04:21,721 --> 00:04:23,155
Don't let 'em go--
Yay!
96
00:04:23,222 --> 00:04:24,756
( Louie )
Okay, okay, don't let 'em go--
97
00:04:24,824 --> 00:04:26,591
Don't let 'em go under
there, please.
98
00:04:26,659 --> 00:04:28,160
Jane.
99
00:04:28,228 --> 00:04:30,263
( girls giggling )
100
00:04:30,330 --> 00:04:33,298
No, I wanna keep this one...
101
00:04:33,366 --> 00:04:34,533
( Lilly )
Look at them, they're--
102
00:04:34,601 --> 00:04:35,601
Careful, you're gonna
step on them.
103
00:04:35,669 --> 00:04:37,169
Okay, okay, please.
No, I won't.
104
00:04:37,237 --> 00:04:39,071
Please, Lilly,
put that one down, put...
105
00:04:39,139 --> 00:04:41,173
Wait.
106
00:04:41,241 --> 00:04:42,474
Thank you for letting them come home with us.
( Jane ) Ew, I got poop!
107
00:04:42,542 --> 00:04:44,176
All right, I'm glad--
108
00:04:44,244 --> 00:04:46,245
All right, girls.
109
00:04:46,313 --> 00:04:47,280
Good night.
110
00:04:47,347 --> 00:04:48,848
Daddy?
Yeah.
111
00:04:48,915 --> 00:04:50,482
Can we keep the ducklings?
112
00:04:50,550 --> 00:04:52,852
No, we're not doing that.
113
00:04:52,919 --> 00:04:54,420
Can we keep just one?
114
00:04:54,488 --> 00:04:55,588
No.
115
00:04:55,655 --> 00:04:57,756
Just one!
No.
116
00:04:57,824 --> 00:05:00,726
Daddy, can we keep
just one duckling?
117
00:05:02,863 --> 00:05:05,564
Are you really
going to a war tomorrow?
118
00:05:05,632 --> 00:05:08,000
I'm going to where
there is a war,
119
00:05:08,068 --> 00:05:11,003
but I'm just there to--
to make some soldiers laugh.
120
00:05:11,071 --> 00:05:13,139
I'm just gonna do shows
and it's safe.
121
00:05:13,207 --> 00:05:14,808
Are you sure?
122
00:05:14,875 --> 00:05:17,210
They've never let any
performer get hurt, ever,
123
00:05:17,278 --> 00:05:19,079
so it's gonna be okay.
124
00:05:19,147 --> 00:05:20,414
Okay.
( groaning )
125
00:05:20,482 --> 00:05:21,749
Yeah.
126
00:05:21,817 --> 00:05:23,351
Just one duckling?
127
00:05:23,419 --> 00:05:25,553
Dude, no.
128
00:05:25,621 --> 00:05:27,321
Oh.
129
00:05:27,389 --> 00:05:28,989
Could we keep them
for another night?
130
00:05:29,057 --> 00:05:30,791
Tomorrow morning, I'm taking
you guys to school
131
00:05:30,858 --> 00:05:32,192
with the ducklings
132
00:05:32,260 --> 00:05:34,828
and I'm going right from
the school to an airfield
133
00:05:34,895 --> 00:05:38,030
where I'm getting on a huge
gray plane called a C-17
134
00:05:38,098 --> 00:05:40,799
and I'm flying
to the Middle East.
135
00:05:40,867 --> 00:05:42,768
Whoa.
136
00:05:42,836 --> 00:05:44,069
Are we going on the plane?
137
00:05:44,137 --> 00:05:45,304
You're not going on--
138
00:05:45,371 --> 00:05:47,406
Your mom's picking you up
tomorrow at school.
139
00:05:47,474 --> 00:05:50,510
Can I keep just one duckling?
140
00:05:50,577 --> 00:05:51,644
Good night.
141
00:05:51,712 --> 00:05:53,546
Good night, Daddy.
142
00:05:53,614 --> 00:05:55,648
( ducks peeping )
143
00:05:56,984 --> 00:05:58,351
( sighing )
144
00:06:16,870 --> 00:06:19,038
( ducks peeping )
145
00:06:36,557 --> 00:06:38,157
Y'know, for a bunch of tiny
creatures, you guys are
146
00:06:38,225 --> 00:06:39,659
a real pain in the ass.
147
00:06:41,500 --> 00:06:43,997
If this was a toilet, I would
just flush it, I swear to God.
148
00:08:05,871 --> 00:08:07,004
( bleep )
149
00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:16,214
( woman ) So how long have you
been there?
150
00:08:16,281 --> 00:08:18,650
( laughing )
151
00:08:18,717 --> 00:08:19,817
( man )
Since I graduated high school.
152
00:08:19,885 --> 00:08:20,952
Oh, really.
153
00:08:21,020 --> 00:08:22,420
A real long time.
154
00:08:22,488 --> 00:08:24,956
So do you-- do you--
do you like music?
155
00:08:25,024 --> 00:08:27,325
Yeah, I like music.
156
00:08:27,392 --> 00:08:29,359
What kind of music do you like?
157
00:08:29,427 --> 00:08:32,462
Um, pretty much everything.
158
00:08:32,530 --> 00:08:34,797
Do you like, um...
159
00:08:34,865 --> 00:08:36,364
do you like Led Zeppelin or...
160
00:08:36,432 --> 00:08:38,433
Led Zeppelin?
161
00:08:38,501 --> 00:08:41,335
You don't know who that is?
No.
162
00:08:41,403 --> 00:08:42,669
What about like--
( clearing throat )
163
00:08:42,737 --> 00:08:45,138
Van Halen, you like Van Halen?
164
00:08:45,205 --> 00:08:46,839
No.
165
00:08:46,907 --> 00:08:48,340
You don't like them
or you don't know 'em?
166
00:08:48,408 --> 00:08:50,575
I'm not sure who they are, no.
167
00:08:50,643 --> 00:08:52,377
What about Aerosmith?
168
00:08:52,445 --> 00:08:54,345
You like Aerosmith?
169
00:08:54,413 --> 00:08:55,546
No.
170
00:08:55,614 --> 00:08:58,249
You don't know who they--
No, not sure.
171
00:08:58,316 --> 00:09:02,319
Uh, Steven Tyler, y'know,
is in Aerosmith.
172
00:09:02,387 --> 00:09:04,087
"American Idol."
Yeah.
173
00:09:04,155 --> 00:09:06,790
Yeah, I know who Steven Tyler is.
174
00:09:06,857 --> 00:09:09,092
He was in Aerosmith, he was
in a band called Aerosmith.
175
00:09:09,159 --> 00:09:10,460
Yeah, he's a judge on
"American Idol."
176
00:09:10,527 --> 00:09:11,761
Yeah, he is.
177
00:09:11,828 --> 00:09:13,128
But, uh--
( clearing throat )
178
00:09:13,196 --> 00:09:16,098
You're a cheerleader?
Yeah.
179
00:09:16,166 --> 00:09:18,033
Football-- like a football
cheerleader?
180
00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:19,934
Mm-hmm, yeah.
181
00:09:20,002 --> 00:09:21,202
You ever date any
football players?
182
00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:22,469
Oh, no, no, no.
183
00:09:22,537 --> 00:09:24,938
We're not allowed to date
any football players.
184
00:09:25,006 --> 00:09:26,740
Do you ever do it anyway?
185
00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:35,182
I didn't-- I...
186
00:09:35,250 --> 00:09:39,454
Hello and welcome to
Task Force Base Charlie.
187
00:09:39,521 --> 00:09:43,525
I'm General Thompson in charge
of operations in Afghanistan.
188
00:09:43,592 --> 00:09:45,827
Let me be the first to
thank you for coming here.
189
00:09:45,895 --> 00:09:47,896
I know it's been a long trip.
190
00:09:47,963 --> 00:09:50,031
I'd like to be able to
tell you to get some rest,
191
00:09:50,098 --> 00:09:51,499
but I can't.
192
00:09:51,566 --> 00:09:54,802
We need to get you out there
and cheer up our troops.
193
00:09:54,869 --> 00:09:57,071
You're gonna see some
things in the next five days
194
00:09:57,138 --> 00:10:00,374
that you've never seen
or imagined.
195
00:10:00,441 --> 00:10:01,675
These young people of ours
196
00:10:01,742 --> 00:10:04,344
are living in some
pretty bad conditions.
197
00:10:04,412 --> 00:10:07,714
In fact, for many of them,
it sucks out there.
198
00:10:07,781 --> 00:10:10,283
Some of our
forward operating bases
199
00:10:10,351 --> 00:10:13,287
or FOBs, as you'll come to
know them,
200
00:10:13,355 --> 00:10:17,258
have little more than a pot
to piss in and dry, cold food.
201
00:10:17,326 --> 00:10:19,795
Many of our troops are in
their second year.
202
00:10:19,863 --> 00:10:23,099
Most of them have lost a buddy.
203
00:10:23,167 --> 00:10:25,168
Some of them have
been wounded in action,
204
00:10:25,236 --> 00:10:27,437
returned for more.
205
00:10:27,505 --> 00:10:30,274
We can't give them
the comforts of home.
206
00:10:30,342 --> 00:10:32,709
We can't send them home.
207
00:10:32,777 --> 00:10:34,445
The only thing that
we can hope to do
208
00:10:34,512 --> 00:10:37,781
is try and lift their spirits.
209
00:10:37,849 --> 00:10:41,186
So you see, your job here
is terribly important.
210
00:10:41,253 --> 00:10:44,256
This is not
a joke to us or a trifle.
211
00:10:44,323 --> 00:10:46,992
This is a vital mission
212
00:10:47,060 --> 00:10:48,627
and I thank you most sincerely
213
00:10:48,695 --> 00:10:53,099
for taking time from your
family to come here and do this.
214
00:10:53,166 --> 00:10:55,268
Now we need to have you
go to your quarters,
215
00:10:55,335 --> 00:10:58,138
drop your gear, grab what
you need, get on transport.
216
00:10:58,205 --> 00:10:59,939
Your first destination
will be Alpha Camp
217
00:11:00,007 --> 00:11:01,041
where you are going to entertain
218
00:11:01,109 --> 00:11:03,043
about a thousand troops.
219
00:11:03,112 --> 00:11:05,413
They are excited to see you.
220
00:11:05,481 --> 00:11:07,482
You'll be sleeping
for about three hours
221
00:11:07,550 --> 00:11:09,751
and then we're gonna pack you
onto Black Hawk helicopters
222
00:11:09,818 --> 00:11:12,854
in pairs and fly you out
to the FOBs.
223
00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:14,689
I'm not going to lie to you.
224
00:11:14,756 --> 00:11:18,358
These are dangerous places
in remote mountain regions.
225
00:11:18,426 --> 00:11:19,826
We've got guys in the mountains
226
00:11:19,894 --> 00:11:22,495
firing rockets into these camps
all the time
227
00:11:22,563 --> 00:11:23,930
and whenever a Black Hawk lands,
228
00:11:23,997 --> 00:11:25,598
it increases the vue
of the target
229
00:11:25,666 --> 00:11:28,401
by about a billion dollars.
230
00:11:28,468 --> 00:11:30,637
So some of you
may take some fire,
231
00:11:30,704 --> 00:11:32,505
but we know where it's
coming from,
232
00:11:32,573 --> 00:11:35,008
we know how to protect you,
233
00:11:35,076 --> 00:11:37,010
so don't worry.
234
00:11:37,078 --> 00:11:39,613
Thanks again for coming,
and drive on.
235
00:11:39,680 --> 00:11:41,048
Gentlemen.
236
00:11:47,523 --> 00:11:48,990
Did he say we're taking fire?
237
00:11:49,058 --> 00:11:51,126
What does that--
Oh, no, no, don't worry, we'll be fine.
238
00:11:51,193 --> 00:11:52,794
Nothing to worry about.
239
00:12:07,642 --> 00:12:09,276
You're a comedian, sir?
Yeah.
240
00:12:10,711 --> 00:12:12,045
Did you see me
on TV or something?
241
00:12:12,113 --> 00:12:13,346
No, sir, I haven't.
242
00:12:23,023 --> 00:12:24,958
( duck peeping )
243
00:12:25,025 --> 00:12:26,660
What the ( blank )?
244
00:12:33,969 --> 00:12:35,303
( duck peeping )
245
00:12:37,206 --> 00:12:40,843
"Dear Daddy, this duckling will
keep you safe, Lilly."
246
00:12:44,081 --> 00:12:46,249
( duck peeping )
247
00:12:49,620 --> 00:12:52,722
Holy shit on the tits of a dog.
248
00:12:52,789 --> 00:12:54,657
( duck peeping )
249
00:13:00,229 --> 00:13:01,863
Hey, man.
Hey.
250
00:13:01,931 --> 00:13:03,297
How are you?
Good, okay.
251
00:13:03,365 --> 00:13:04,765
Kenny Thomas.
Louie.
252
00:13:04,833 --> 00:13:06,233
It looks like they got you
and me going out together.
253
00:13:06,301 --> 00:13:08,369
Yeah.
Yeah.
254
00:13:08,436 --> 00:13:10,204
All right.
255
00:13:10,272 --> 00:13:12,073
Have-- have you
done this before?
256
00:13:12,140 --> 00:13:13,374
Once or twice.
257
00:13:13,442 --> 00:13:15,443
I used to-- I used to
be in the military.
258
00:13:15,510 --> 00:13:17,212
I was a--
I was a ranger.
259
00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:18,680
Oh.
260
00:13:18,748 --> 00:13:19,481
You all right?
261
00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:20,849
You look scared.
262
00:13:20,917 --> 00:13:22,852
Yeah, is that stupid?
263
00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:24,721
No, man, you'd be
stupid not to be.
264
00:13:24,789 --> 00:13:25,755
( gun cocking )
265
00:13:25,823 --> 00:13:27,124
Wow.
266
00:13:27,192 --> 00:13:31,494
Yeah, never ever go in
a hostile area unarmed.
267
00:13:31,562 --> 00:13:32,963
All right, so we'll see you
on the flight line?
268
00:13:33,030 --> 00:13:34,297
Okay, man.
All right.
269
00:13:34,365 --> 00:13:35,431
See ya.
Yeah.
270
00:13:37,868 --> 00:13:40,704
( duck peeping )
271
00:13:53,286 --> 00:13:56,588
( peeping continues )
272
00:13:59,358 --> 00:14:01,126
Come here, come here,
shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
273
00:14:01,194 --> 00:14:02,694
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
274
00:14:02,762 --> 00:14:05,798
It's okay, it's okay, shh, shh,
shh, shh, shh, shh, shh...
275
00:14:05,865 --> 00:14:08,300
You're okay, you're okay.
276
00:14:08,368 --> 00:14:11,169
( duck peeping )
277
00:15:10,204 --> 00:15:11,071
( applauding )
278
00:15:12,272 --> 00:15:13,406
My name's Kenny.
279
00:15:13,474 --> 00:15:14,940
Thanks.
280
00:15:18,696 --> 00:15:20,930
Kenny Thomas, everybody,
let's hear it for him.
281
00:15:20,998 --> 00:15:22,666
( cheers and applause )
282
00:15:22,733 --> 00:15:24,601
You guys ready to be entertained
by some cheerleaders?
283
00:15:24,669 --> 00:15:27,370
( cheers and applause )
284
00:15:27,438 --> 00:15:29,772
Let's make 'em feel
at home here in Afghanistan.
285
00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:32,842
Ladies and gentlemen,
Jamie and Ashley!
286
00:15:32,910 --> 00:15:35,412
( cheers and applause )
287
00:15:35,479 --> 00:15:38,748
( rock music playing )
288
00:15:40,517 --> 00:15:41,784
( whistling )
289
00:15:44,020 --> 00:15:46,888
( cheers and applause )
290
00:15:58,434 --> 00:16:01,236
( cheers and applause )
291
00:16:03,006 --> 00:16:04,172
... to Afghanistan.
292
00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:06,240
Ladies and gentlemen,
Louie C.K.
293
00:16:06,308 --> 00:16:08,309
( cheers and applause )
294
00:16:13,582 --> 00:16:15,182
Thank you very much.
295
00:16:15,250 --> 00:16:17,585
How you guys-- how are--
how are you guys doing?
296
00:16:17,652 --> 00:16:18,786
( all ) Good!
297
00:16:18,854 --> 00:16:21,021
Okay, okay, I was...
298
00:16:23,225 --> 00:16:24,925
I don't do a lot
to improve myself.
299
00:16:24,993 --> 00:16:27,628
You know, you guys are all
young, you're healthy.
300
00:16:27,696 --> 00:16:31,199
I've reached a point where
I could never be healthy again.
301
00:16:31,267 --> 00:16:35,870
Like I-- I work out
to keep this.
302
00:16:35,938 --> 00:16:38,440
That's the best
that I can hope for,
303
00:16:38,508 --> 00:16:39,842
that I won't have--
I'll keep--
304
00:16:39,910 --> 00:16:41,577
I'll always have this belly,
305
00:16:41,645 --> 00:16:44,680
I have to work hard so I won't
have another one.
306
00:16:44,748 --> 00:16:47,617
Like those-- that second
crotch belly that people--
307
00:16:47,684 --> 00:16:50,753
You ever see the guy who's got
like a ( blank ) second belly?
308
00:16:50,821 --> 00:16:53,656
It's like a-- I'll be like
a letter "B."
309
00:16:53,724 --> 00:16:56,292
Just that belly
and it's just-- Uhh!
310
00:16:56,359 --> 00:16:57,693
And it's--
311
00:16:57,760 --> 00:16:59,995
And my penis will just be
hidden somewhere in there.
312
00:17:00,062 --> 00:17:02,497
You ever seen somebody
with like a second--
313
00:17:02,565 --> 00:17:03,632
( man )
It's a gut. And a--
314
00:17:03,699 --> 00:17:05,233
Yeah, and then you can't--
315
00:17:05,301 --> 00:17:07,235
When he pees,
it just dribbles down
316
00:17:07,303 --> 00:17:09,704
the front of his belly
317
00:17:09,772 --> 00:17:10,872
and when get gets horny,
318
00:17:10,940 --> 00:17:13,174
he just ( blank ) his fat
from the inside.
319
00:17:13,242 --> 00:17:15,344
That's the kind of
person I'm talking about.
320
00:17:15,411 --> 00:17:17,713
Now, that's what mine is
become like, it just--
321
00:17:17,781 --> 00:17:19,683
My dick, it just--
322
00:17:19,750 --> 00:17:22,519
The whole dick and balls
just looks like--
323
00:17:22,587 --> 00:17:25,456
It's like an old horse
that nobody brushes anymore.
324
00:17:25,524 --> 00:17:26,757
You know?
325
00:17:26,825 --> 00:17:28,426
( all laughing )
326
00:17:28,493 --> 00:17:30,795
( imitating whinnying horse )
327
00:17:30,862 --> 00:17:33,464
My balls...
328
00:17:33,532 --> 00:17:35,633
Like, my balls are like--
329
00:17:35,701 --> 00:17:38,469
I'm 43, my balls
are like 72 years old.
330
00:17:38,537 --> 00:17:40,771
They're seriously older than me.
331
00:17:40,839 --> 00:17:42,206
My balls, just--
they just kinda--
332
00:17:42,274 --> 00:17:43,474
They're like...
333
00:17:43,542 --> 00:17:45,176
they're like two
just John McCains
334
00:17:45,243 --> 00:17:47,211
just hanging from my--
they're just...
335
00:17:49,347 --> 00:17:51,114
They-- they hang like--
336
00:17:51,182 --> 00:17:53,017
They look like they're being
rescued from a river
337
00:17:53,085 --> 00:17:54,953
by a helicopter,
that's what they...
338
00:17:57,089 --> 00:17:59,291
It's very sad.
339
00:17:59,358 --> 00:18:00,959
I still love women.
340
00:18:01,027 --> 00:18:02,161
I love women.
341
00:18:02,229 --> 00:18:03,462
I wanna ( blank ) women.
342
00:18:03,530 --> 00:18:04,964
That's-- For guys,
that's their--
343
00:18:05,032 --> 00:18:06,699
It's both things.
344
00:18:06,767 --> 00:18:08,234
It's very sad.
345
00:18:08,302 --> 00:18:10,670
Guys can't really can't be
romantic without being sexual.
346
00:18:10,737 --> 00:18:11,704
It's the way we--
347
00:18:11,772 --> 00:18:14,574
That's the way we're built.
348
00:18:14,642 --> 00:18:15,642
That's the way we're designed.
349
00:18:15,709 --> 00:18:17,643
We have to be that way
350
00:18:17,711 --> 00:18:19,779
because we have to
( blank ) women
351
00:18:19,847 --> 00:18:21,380
and you have to be kind of gross
352
00:18:21,448 --> 00:18:23,382
to climb on a perfectly
beautiful woman
353
00:18:23,450 --> 00:18:26,385
and ( blank ) her
and ruin her with your penis.
354
00:18:26,453 --> 00:18:29,087
You have to have kind of
a gross mentality.
355
00:18:29,155 --> 00:18:30,823
Women get to be
elegant during sex,
356
00:18:30,890 --> 00:18:33,125
they get to lay back with their
hair arranged on the pillow.
357
00:18:33,193 --> 00:18:34,226
"Ooh !"
358
00:18:34,294 --> 00:18:35,761
Even women that are aggressive,
359
00:18:35,829 --> 00:18:37,396
they get to ride with their
hair up,
360
00:18:37,464 --> 00:18:38,531
"Mmm !"
361
00:18:38,598 --> 00:18:41,400
They get to go for a ride.
362
00:18:41,468 --> 00:18:43,369
But guys just climb on and--
( blowing raspberry )
363
00:18:43,437 --> 00:18:44,503
We just--
364
00:18:44,571 --> 00:18:45,604
"Uhh."
365
00:18:45,672 --> 00:18:48,207
We have to be gross.
366
00:18:48,275 --> 00:18:49,809
"Gotta prosecute the pussy."
367
00:18:49,877 --> 00:18:54,080
That's the kind of idiot
you have to be to be a man.
368
00:18:54,148 --> 00:18:56,316
Get on the dick train, bitches!
369
00:18:56,383 --> 00:18:57,884
That's how dumb you have to be.
370
00:18:57,951 --> 00:19:00,086
( cheering )
371
00:19:03,824 --> 00:19:05,525
Here you go, guys.
Thanks, Lou. Thank you.
372
00:19:05,593 --> 00:19:07,060
( man )
Do you still work with Jim Norton?
373
00:19:07,127 --> 00:19:08,561
( Kenny ) It was good to meet you,
take care of yourself.
374
00:19:11,231 --> 00:19:12,264
Are you, you a Gator?
375
00:19:12,332 --> 00:19:13,465
Oh, hell no.
376
00:19:13,533 --> 00:19:15,567
I'm a Georgia Bulldog.
377
00:19:15,635 --> 00:19:17,636
What's your name, man?
Ryan.
378
00:19:19,906 --> 00:19:21,573
That was so good!
379
00:19:23,309 --> 00:19:25,010
That was awesome!
380
00:19:25,078 --> 00:19:26,044
You are really good.
381
00:19:26,112 --> 00:19:27,279
Hey, what's your name?
Ryan.
382
00:19:27,346 --> 00:19:28,447
Hey, Ryan, how's it going?
Good, sir.
383
00:19:28,514 --> 00:19:29,581
Sign that for you?
384
00:19:29,649 --> 00:19:31,483
Oh, you got a--
That's Kenny's.
385
00:19:31,551 --> 00:19:35,020
( Kenny ) We sure appreciate
y'all being here.
386
00:19:35,088 --> 00:19:36,688
Thanks for letting us come.
387
00:19:38,158 --> 00:19:39,926
I never knew
a cheerleader--
388
00:19:39,993 --> 00:19:41,761
I never knew a cheerleader,
like, personally.
389
00:19:41,829 --> 00:19:43,429
I mean, I-- There were
girls in my high school
390
00:19:43,498 --> 00:19:46,033
who were cheerleaders that I knew
391
00:19:46,100 --> 00:19:47,601
who they were,
but they never--
392
00:19:47,669 --> 00:19:49,569
I never...
393
00:19:49,637 --> 00:19:51,371
It's cool, though,
it's like you're--
394
00:19:51,439 --> 00:19:53,473
Like an artist, you know, right?
395
00:19:53,540 --> 00:19:56,209
'Cause you dance and...
396
00:19:56,277 --> 00:19:58,878
Did you go to--
did you study dance or...
397
00:19:58,946 --> 00:20:01,547
Y'all are kind of disgusting,
the things you say on stage.
398
00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:09,288
Yeah, yeah, I guess so.
399
00:20:09,356 --> 00:20:12,358
Why can't you say Christian
things and be funny?
400
00:20:12,426 --> 00:20:15,462
Christian things?
401
00:20:15,529 --> 00:20:19,232
What kind of-- what kind of
Christian things are funny?
402
00:20:26,576 --> 00:20:29,077
How old are you?
19.
403
00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:30,645
You wanna see something?
404
00:20:30,713 --> 00:20:31,880
Ew, what?
405
00:20:41,890 --> 00:20:43,257
( duck peeping )
406
00:20:44,893 --> 00:20:46,860
Oh, my gosh!
407
00:20:46,928 --> 00:20:49,263
That is so cute!
408
00:20:49,331 --> 00:20:50,931
Can I hold him?
No, no, no.
409
00:20:50,999 --> 00:20:52,233
Maybe later.
410
00:20:52,300 --> 00:20:53,668
Why do you have that?
411
00:20:53,736 --> 00:20:55,604
Well, my daughter
put it in my bag.
412
00:20:55,771 --> 00:20:57,839
She said it's to keep me safe.
413
00:20:57,907 --> 00:20:59,908
That is adorable.
414
00:20:59,976 --> 00:21:01,710
Well, it's not gonna
help against an RPG,
415
00:21:01,778 --> 00:21:03,612
but it's a pretty bad-ass
duckling.
416
00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:05,781
( chuckling )
417
00:21:05,848 --> 00:21:06,982
See?
418
00:21:07,050 --> 00:21:08,817
You're being Christian and funny.
419
00:21:15,425 --> 00:21:17,426
Would you ever date a guy my age?
420
00:21:17,494 --> 00:21:19,762
Why?
Would you ever date a 19-year-old?
421
00:21:19,829 --> 00:21:21,096
Sure.
422
00:21:21,164 --> 00:21:22,464
Would you really?
423
00:21:24,934 --> 00:21:26,635
Yeah.
424
00:21:26,703 --> 00:21:27,869
That's disgusting.
425
00:22:53,103 --> 00:22:56,571
( men speaking Arabic )
426
00:22:58,708 --> 00:22:59,775
( man ) No, I got it over here.
427
00:24:11,108 --> 00:24:13,343
( man ) What's up, fellas?
428
00:24:13,411 --> 00:24:15,712
How's it going?
429
00:24:15,780 --> 00:24:17,981
Welcome to Camp Timothy, sir.
Thanks, good to be here.
430
00:24:18,049 --> 00:24:19,717
Where are we?
Camp Timothy, sir.
431
00:24:19,784 --> 00:24:20,684
Who's Timothy?
432
00:24:20,752 --> 00:24:22,552
( radio chatter )
433
00:24:22,620 --> 00:24:24,021
Incoming rocket fire, take cover!
434
00:24:24,088 --> 00:24:25,288
( woman ) Incoming!
435
00:24:31,128 --> 00:24:32,896
( explosions blasting )
436
00:24:32,964 --> 00:24:34,097
( soldiers laughing )
437
00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:37,367
( man )
They can't hit shit, don't worry.
438
00:24:37,435 --> 00:24:39,136
Come on, let's go to work.
439
00:24:39,203 --> 00:24:40,470
That's funny?
440
00:24:45,309 --> 00:24:46,409
( man ) How you doing?
441
00:24:46,477 --> 00:24:48,945
Camp Timothy, sir.
Thank you very much.
442
00:24:49,013 --> 00:24:50,246
How you doing?
443
00:24:50,314 --> 00:24:51,481
Excellent, sir, how you doing?
444
00:24:51,549 --> 00:24:53,150
You guys live here?
445
00:24:53,217 --> 00:24:54,985
Unfortunately.
446
00:24:55,052 --> 00:24:56,052
Yeah.
447
00:24:56,120 --> 00:24:57,587
How long you been here for?
448
00:24:57,655 --> 00:24:59,556
Uh, well, we built this FOB
about a year ago
449
00:24:59,624 --> 00:25:01,992
and we've been here ever since.
450
00:25:02,059 --> 00:25:04,127
You got cable?
451
00:25:04,195 --> 00:25:06,062
Not out here, sir.
452
00:25:06,130 --> 00:25:07,864
Sir, this is our company
commander, Major Burroughs.
453
00:25:07,932 --> 00:25:09,299
Hello, sir.
454
00:25:12,269 --> 00:25:13,870
( man ) Afghani Nationals.
455
00:25:13,938 --> 00:25:15,305
We're training 'em.
456
00:25:17,107 --> 00:25:18,608
Hey, guys, how's it going?
457
00:25:20,678 --> 00:25:21,677
Hi.
458
00:25:24,715 --> 00:25:25,782
( men ) Incoming!
459
00:25:25,850 --> 00:25:26,916
( man ) Incoming!
460
00:25:28,820 --> 00:25:30,020
All right.
461
00:25:32,824 --> 00:25:34,426
( man ) Hey, guys, let's
square this place away.
462
00:25:36,595 --> 00:25:38,063
We're gonna...
463
00:25:38,131 --> 00:25:39,298
we're gonna do a show in here?
464
00:25:39,365 --> 00:25:40,999
Yeah.
465
00:25:41,067 --> 00:25:42,534
Dude.
466
00:25:44,104 --> 00:25:45,671
It's all right,
you just tell your jokes,
467
00:25:45,739 --> 00:25:47,006
I'll sing a song, it'll be cool.
468
00:25:47,073 --> 00:25:48,107
They're gonna love you.
469
00:25:57,450 --> 00:25:58,817
Hey, fellas.
470
00:25:58,885 --> 00:26:02,422
Thanks for being here,
not that you have a choice.
471
00:26:02,489 --> 00:26:04,958
But my name's Louie C.K.,
I'm a comedian.
472
00:26:05,025 --> 00:26:06,126
Never d heard of you.
473
00:26:06,194 --> 00:26:08,195
I never heard of
you either, dickface.
474
00:26:08,262 --> 00:26:10,398
Listen, I'm not afraid of
you guys,
475
00:26:10,465 --> 00:26:12,700
you got guns,
you're only 21, though,
476
00:26:12,768 --> 00:26:13,701
I'm 43.
477
00:26:13,769 --> 00:26:15,603
I got a lot of years on you,
478
00:26:15,671 --> 00:26:17,905
so we're gonna have a good time.
479
00:26:17,973 --> 00:26:19,440
I'm gonna tell you a few jokes,
try to make you laugh,
480
00:26:19,508 --> 00:26:21,976
but first a little music.
481
00:26:22,043 --> 00:26:25,345
This is a young man who is one
of your own, first of all,
482
00:26:25,413 --> 00:26:28,281
he's an Army Ranger and he's
a country-western singer.
483
00:26:28,349 --> 00:26:29,883
I'm not sure which one's worse,
484
00:26:29,951 --> 00:26:31,684
but let's find out
what he can do.
485
00:26:31,752 --> 00:26:33,753
Ladies and gentlemen, please,
a nice welcome for Kenny Thomas.
486
00:26:33,821 --> 00:26:34,821
Give him a hand.
487
00:26:34,888 --> 00:26:36,355
( applauding )
488
00:26:40,126 --> 00:26:41,861
( Kenny ) Hey, how y'all doing?
( man ) Hey.
489
00:26:41,928 --> 00:26:43,696
Thanks for coming out of your
holes in the ground
490
00:26:43,764 --> 00:26:45,465
and spending some time with us.
491
00:26:45,533 --> 00:26:47,401
We appreciate you spending
the day with us.
492
00:26:47,469 --> 00:26:48,669
We appreciate ya.
493
00:26:48,737 --> 00:26:49,770
I wanna do a song for you.
494
00:26:51,706 --> 00:26:54,575
It's from my father's generation.
495
00:26:54,642 --> 00:26:55,943
Now, I don't know
how many of you guys
496
00:26:56,011 --> 00:26:58,045
have been up to the Vietnam Wall
in Washington, DC.
497
00:26:58,113 --> 00:26:59,681
But when one of
our service members
498
00:26:59,749 --> 00:27:02,650
was listing as a POW...
499
00:27:02,718 --> 00:27:04,052
or missing in action,
500
00:27:04,119 --> 00:27:07,956
what they would do is
put a cross by their name.
501
00:27:08,023 --> 00:27:10,058
And in the event that that man
was to make it back alive
502
00:27:10,125 --> 00:27:11,326
and accounted for,
503
00:27:11,393 --> 00:27:13,528
they'd put a circle
around the cross
504
00:27:13,595 --> 00:27:16,865
and that would
signify the circle of life.
505
00:27:16,933 --> 00:27:19,300
And you can look all you want,
but to this day,
506
00:27:19,368 --> 00:27:21,103
there's still no circles
507
00:27:21,170 --> 00:27:22,837
inscribed on the Vietnam Wall.
508
00:27:24,974 --> 00:27:27,475
♪ Now Daddy got the call
sometime ♪
509
00:27:27,542 --> 00:27:30,845
♪ In the summer of '69 ♪
510
00:27:30,912 --> 00:27:32,680
♪ Did his tour in the war ♪
511
00:27:32,748 --> 00:27:34,782
♪ But the home
he was fighting for ♪
512
00:27:34,850 --> 00:27:37,619
♪ Wasn't what he left behind ♪
513
00:27:37,686 --> 00:27:41,389
♪ I was there that day
when the telegram came ♪
514
00:27:41,457 --> 00:27:44,259
♪ And Mama fell to her knees ♪
515
00:27:44,327 --> 00:27:46,161
♪ He was a mighty good man ♪
516
00:27:46,229 --> 00:27:50,733
♪ But he fell into the hands of
the North Vietnamese ♪
517
00:27:54,805 --> 00:27:57,607
♪ Another folded
stars and stripes ♪
518
00:28:01,646 --> 00:28:04,247
♪ Another man who gave his life ♪
519
00:28:08,319 --> 00:28:10,987
♪ Husbands
fathers brothers sons ♪
520
00:28:11,055 --> 00:28:14,757
♪ Will never be forgotten
I know ♪
521
00:28:14,825 --> 00:28:19,295
♪ And when you
find what once was lost ♪
522
00:28:19,363 --> 00:28:21,698
♪ We'll put a circle
on the cross ♪
523
00:28:29,107 --> 00:28:31,643
♪ Two years my mama held on ♪
524
00:28:31,710 --> 00:28:34,713
♪ Said I'm trying to
do the best I can ♪
525
00:28:34,781 --> 00:28:36,682
♪ Yeah but the army
wasn't paying ♪
526
00:28:36,749 --> 00:28:38,317
♪ And she had a boy to raise ♪
527
00:28:38,384 --> 00:28:41,019
♪ So she found herself
another man ♪
528
00:28:41,087 --> 00:28:43,255
♪ And I was there that day ♪
529
00:28:43,323 --> 00:28:45,024
♪ When the "Taps" was played ♪
530
00:28:45,091 --> 00:28:48,160
♪ And they buried
his name in the ground ♪
531
00:28:48,228 --> 00:28:49,995
♪ Well the preacher
was still talking ♪
532
00:28:50,063 --> 00:28:51,664
♪ As my mama started walking ♪
533
00:28:51,731 --> 00:28:54,299
♪ And she ain't never
turned around ♪
534
00:28:54,367 --> 00:28:56,335
♪ Yeah ♪
535
00:28:56,403 --> 00:28:59,504
♪ Another folded stars
and stripes ♪
536
00:29:01,475 --> 00:29:05,311
♪ We'll put
a circle on the cross ♪
537
00:29:05,379 --> 00:29:07,447
♪ Yeah ♪
538
00:29:16,325 --> 00:29:18,793
( cheers and applause )
539
00:29:22,131 --> 00:29:23,097
Thanks, you guys, appreciate it.
540
00:29:23,165 --> 00:29:24,299
( applauding )
541
00:29:24,366 --> 00:29:25,734
God bless you guys,
and we mean it.
542
00:29:25,801 --> 00:29:27,369
Take care of each other and come
on home safe, all right?
543
00:29:27,436 --> 00:29:29,404
All right, I want
to introduce a guy,
544
00:29:29,471 --> 00:29:30,672
he's a very funny man
545
00:29:30,739 --> 00:29:32,374
and he came a long way
to make you ugh,
546
00:29:32,441 --> 00:29:35,043
so, you know, make him
feel good about himself.
547
00:29:35,111 --> 00:29:36,711
Please give it up for Louie?
548
00:29:36,779 --> 00:29:38,246
( applauding )
549
00:29:38,314 --> 00:29:39,814
All right.
550
00:29:39,882 --> 00:29:42,150
Thank you, Kenny, for depressing
the shit out of everybody
551
00:29:42,218 --> 00:29:44,719
and now I gotta
try to make 'em laugh.
552
00:29:44,787 --> 00:29:45,854
Uh...
553
00:29:45,921 --> 00:29:47,455
Well, I live in New York City.
554
00:29:47,523 --> 00:29:48,857
Anybody here from New York,
New Yorkers?
555
00:29:48,924 --> 00:29:50,058
New York?
556
00:29:50,126 --> 00:29:50,959
What kind--
what part of New York?
557
00:29:51,026 --> 00:29:52,294
Buffalo.
558
00:29:52,361 --> 00:29:54,362
Buffalo, that's not New York.
559
00:29:54,430 --> 00:29:56,431
Dude, don't mess with Buffalo.
560
00:29:56,499 --> 00:29:58,133
Hey, man, it's okay.
561
00:29:58,201 --> 00:29:59,468
I understand how Buffalo's--
562
00:29:59,536 --> 00:30:01,403
That's home.
563
00:30:01,471 --> 00:30:03,472
I don't wanna mess with
your home.
564
00:30:03,540 --> 00:30:05,274
But seriously,
Buffalo sucks shit.
565
00:30:05,342 --> 00:30:06,575
( all laughing )
566
00:30:06,643 --> 00:30:07,876
I mean, come on, man.
567
00:30:07,944 --> 00:30:09,412
You gotta have some
courage to live here,
568
00:30:09,479 --> 00:30:12,081
but you gotta have more courage
to live in Buffalo.
569
00:30:12,149 --> 00:30:14,383
I think if I woke up
at a bus stop in Buffalo,
570
00:30:14,451 --> 00:30:15,384
I would kill myself.
571
00:30:15,452 --> 00:30:17,687
( all laughing )
572
00:30:17,754 --> 00:30:19,622
The only thing
worse than being in Buffalo
573
00:30:19,689 --> 00:30:21,190
is being in a hotel room
574
00:30:21,258 --> 00:30:23,059
trying to find how far you can
get your finger
575
00:30:23,127 --> 00:30:24,627
into your own asshole.
576
00:30:24,695 --> 00:30:29,566
That's actually more fun than
being in shit, horrible--
577
00:30:29,633 --> 00:30:31,167
Do you know that
there was a president
578
00:30:31,235 --> 00:30:32,735
who was shot in downtown Buffalo
579
00:30:32,803 --> 00:30:34,003
and his last words were,
580
00:30:34,071 --> 00:30:35,371
"Thank God I can get
the ( bleep ) out of
581
00:30:35,439 --> 00:30:37,273
this shitty town."
582
00:30:37,341 --> 00:30:38,975
Uh...
583
00:30:39,043 --> 00:30:41,511
( cheers and applause )
584
00:30:41,578 --> 00:30:43,980
( rock music playing )
585
00:30:46,683 --> 00:30:48,017
Hi, how are you?
586
00:31:07,949 --> 00:31:09,049
( duck peeping )
587
00:31:09,117 --> 00:31:11,118
Shh, shh, shh, shh,
shh, shh, shh, shh...
588
00:31:11,185 --> 00:31:13,821
Shush, shush.
( duck peeping )
589
00:31:13,889 --> 00:31:14,888
Can I see it?
Hey.
590
00:31:14,956 --> 00:31:16,323
Yeah, come over.
591
00:31:16,391 --> 00:31:18,559
( duck peeping )
592
00:31:18,627 --> 00:31:19,527
So cute.
593
00:31:19,595 --> 00:31:20,394
How old is your daughter?
594
00:31:20,462 --> 00:31:21,763
She's five.
595
00:31:21,830 --> 00:31:23,531
And I got
a nine-year-old.
596
00:31:23,599 --> 00:31:24,800
Aww.
597
00:31:26,669 --> 00:31:28,470
Pour water for this thing.
598
00:31:32,375 --> 00:31:35,477
You're a good dad.
599
00:31:35,545 --> 00:31:36,812
Thank you.
600
00:31:41,717 --> 00:31:42,550
( chuckling )
601
00:31:45,654 --> 00:31:47,555
In actual Detroit, inside--
Detroit.
602
00:31:47,622 --> 00:31:49,623
Detroit.
Right in the actual...
603
00:31:49,691 --> 00:31:51,158
( man ) Hey, guys...
604
00:31:51,226 --> 00:31:53,260
Every time, what, what?
605
00:31:53,328 --> 00:31:55,129
Football, one more,
one more short game--
606
00:31:55,197 --> 00:31:57,198
No, you beat us
every single time.
607
00:31:57,265 --> 00:31:58,733
It's not fair.
( man ) Every time.
608
00:31:58,801 --> 00:32:00,168
Football.
609
00:32:00,235 --> 00:32:01,202
( man ) No, no, no, no, no...
Yeah, yeah.
610
00:32:01,270 --> 00:32:02,404
Football.
611
00:32:02,471 --> 00:32:03,572
That's a football.
612
00:32:03,639 --> 00:32:04,639
( man ) Football.
613
00:32:04,707 --> 00:32:05,874
You're ball.
Our ball?
614
00:32:05,942 --> 00:32:06,942
Oh, sweet.
615
00:32:07,077 --> 00:32:08,945
I give you free kick.
616
00:32:09,012 --> 00:32:11,280
( speaking Arabic )
617
00:32:15,985 --> 00:32:17,786
Get it around!
618
00:32:17,854 --> 00:32:19,521
See, I told you.
619
00:33:01,998 --> 00:33:03,432
( no sound )
620
00:33:50,114 --> 00:33:52,048
Gets to you, doesn't it?
621
00:33:52,116 --> 00:33:54,117
Freaking kids, man.
622
00:33:54,184 --> 00:33:55,485
Yeah.
623
00:33:58,656 --> 00:34:00,556
Still scared?
624
00:34:00,624 --> 00:34:01,724
No.
625
00:34:01,792 --> 00:34:03,559
That's right, man.
626
00:34:03,627 --> 00:34:05,328
'Til something bigger
comes along.
627
00:34:37,959 --> 00:34:38,958
Oh!
628
00:34:39,026 --> 00:34:39,726
What?
629
00:34:39,793 --> 00:34:41,060
( man shouting )
630
00:34:42,930 --> 00:34:43,997
Ahh!
631
00:34:44,065 --> 00:34:44,931
Ahh!
632
00:34:44,999 --> 00:34:46,633
Knock it...
633
00:34:46,700 --> 00:34:47,834
No!
634
00:34:47,902 --> 00:34:48,868
No!
635
00:34:48,936 --> 00:34:50,437
Prepare to land!
636
00:34:52,006 --> 00:34:53,073
Whoo!
637
00:34:53,141 --> 00:34:54,441
This is fun!
638
00:34:55,977 --> 00:34:57,845
We're going down!
What?
639
00:34:57,913 --> 00:35:00,582
We're landing!
640
00:35:00,649 --> 00:35:02,817
That's not good!
Not--
641
00:35:02,885 --> 00:35:05,354
Jesus...
642
00:35:05,422 --> 00:35:06,689
Oh!
643
00:35:09,827 --> 00:35:11,360
What's happening?
644
00:35:17,934 --> 00:35:20,569
( Louie shouting )
645
00:35:31,215 --> 00:35:33,049
Woo!
646
00:35:33,117 --> 00:35:34,417
Good job, guys.
647
00:35:37,121 --> 00:35:38,154
Can somebody please tell me
648
00:35:38,221 --> 00:35:39,809
what is actually happening
right now?
649
00:35:39,929 --> 00:35:42,358
We had a mechanical problem.
650
00:35:42,426 --> 00:35:44,927
Well, so what--
what now happens?
651
00:35:44,995 --> 00:35:46,695
Hopefully someone
comes and gets us.
652
00:35:46,763 --> 00:35:49,064
Hopefully nothing happens
to go down.
653
00:35:49,132 --> 00:35:49,956
Oh...
654
00:35:50,076 --> 00:35:52,969
They'll be here in about
30 minutes so just sit tight.
655
00:35:55,572 --> 00:35:58,275
Sit tight.
656
00:35:58,342 --> 00:36:00,076
Okay, I'm sitting tight.
657
00:36:03,581 --> 00:36:06,117
I'm taking a leak.
658
00:36:06,184 --> 00:36:07,785
I already did that.
659
00:36:07,853 --> 00:36:08,919
Ew.
660
00:36:24,738 --> 00:36:28,341
I'm very-- I'm very
sensitive to the sun.
661
00:36:28,408 --> 00:36:29,742
I get burned.
662
00:36:29,810 --> 00:36:31,344
I'm sensitive.
663
00:36:33,847 --> 00:36:34,814
Oh.
664
00:36:34,882 --> 00:36:36,215
Uh-oh.
665
00:36:36,283 --> 00:36:37,417
Hey, Sergeant Major.
666
00:36:41,455 --> 00:36:43,590
Everyone just be calm.
667
00:36:43,657 --> 00:36:46,225
Hey.
668
00:36:46,293 --> 00:36:48,161
Is that worry--
"worryable"?
669
00:36:48,228 --> 00:36:50,496
( woman ) Don't know yet.
670
00:36:50,564 --> 00:36:52,298
Dude, they got guns.
671
00:36:52,366 --> 00:36:53,566
Yeah.
672
00:36:53,634 --> 00:36:54,801
A lot of people have guns here.
673
00:36:54,868 --> 00:36:56,235
They might just be hunting, man.
674
00:36:58,171 --> 00:37:05,311
( speaking Arabic )
675
00:37:05,378 --> 00:37:06,645
( man ) Put your weapons down!
676
00:37:06,713 --> 00:37:12,216
( shouting in Arabic )
677
00:37:13,885 --> 00:37:15,352
It's okay, it's okay!
678
00:37:15,420 --> 00:37:17,121
Drop your weapons, put 'em down!
679
00:37:17,189 --> 00:37:21,092
( shouting in Arabic )
680
00:37:23,029 --> 00:37:29,335
( shouting in Arabic continues )
681
00:37:29,403 --> 00:37:31,037
( duck peeping )
682
00:37:31,105 --> 00:37:36,143
( all laughing )
683
00:37:36,211 --> 00:37:39,614
( duck peeing )
684
00:37:58,632 --> 00:37:59,999
Salam alaikum, salam alaikum.
685
00:38:00,067 --> 00:38:00,900
Salam alaikum.
686
00:38:00,968 --> 00:38:02,402
Salam...
687
00:38:02,469 --> 00:38:05,838
Salam alaikum, salam alaikum,
salam alaikum, salam alaikum...
688
00:38:05,906 --> 00:38:08,907
( laughing )
689
00:38:08,975 --> 00:38:10,275
Salam alaikum.
690
00:38:11,911 --> 00:38:15,213
( speaking Arabic )
691
00:38:16,949 --> 00:38:19,283
( all speaking Arabic )
692
00:38:28,695 --> 00:38:32,097
( speaking Arabic )
693
00:38:32,165 --> 00:38:33,365
Uh, "duckie."
694
00:38:33,433 --> 00:38:34,333
Duckie, duckie!
695
00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:35,267
Duckie.
696
00:38:35,335 --> 00:38:36,802
( all laughing )
697
00:38:36,870 --> 00:38:38,170
( man ) Duckie, duckie.
698
00:38:38,238 --> 00:38:40,172
( speaking Arabic )
699
00:38:40,240 --> 00:38:41,307
Duckie.
700
00:38:41,374 --> 00:38:43,209
( man ) Duckie, duckie, duckie...
701
00:38:43,277 --> 00:38:44,978
( speaking Arabic )
702
00:38:45,046 --> 00:38:46,747
It's my daughter's.
( man ) Daughter?
703
00:38:46,814 --> 00:38:48,282
Jane, my daughter.
704
00:38:48,350 --> 00:38:51,419
( speaking Arabic )
705
00:38:55,435 --> 00:38:58,336
♪ Here goes ♪
706
00:38:58,404 --> 00:39:02,541
♪ Another sad song about
a trip gone wrong ♪
707
00:39:02,608 --> 00:39:04,592
♪ Down to Mexico ♪
708
00:39:06,900 --> 00:39:09,702
♪ Mariachi band
and a girl with a tan ♪
709
00:39:09,770 --> 00:39:11,504
♪ Man and how it all happened ♪
710
00:39:11,572 --> 00:39:13,673
♪ Hell I don't know ♪
711
00:39:13,741 --> 00:39:17,110
♪ 'Cause no hablo español ♪
712
00:39:17,178 --> 00:39:19,045
♪ Another sad, sad song ♪
713
00:39:19,113 --> 00:39:23,284
♪ About a trip gone wrong
in Afghanistan ♪
714
00:39:23,352 --> 00:39:25,153
Yee-ha!
715
00:39:25,220 --> 00:39:26,588
( man )
Yee-ha!
716
00:39:28,224 --> 00:39:29,658
Hey, time to go.
717
00:39:48,776 --> 00:39:50,443
( duck peeping )
718
00:40:50,626 --> 00:41:00,950
Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
719
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:05,550
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
49483
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