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Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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♪ Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie ♪
3
00:00:14,922 --> 00:00:17,894
♪ Louie, Louie, Louie Louaaa ♪
4
00:00:19,566 --> 00:00:22,509
♪ Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie ♪
5
00:00:24,279 --> 00:00:27,386
♪ Louie, Louie you're gonna cry ♪
6
00:00:28,857 --> 00:00:31,660
♪ Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie ♪
7
00:00:33,598 --> 00:00:36,601
♪ Louie, Louie, Louie Louaaa ♪
8
00:00:38,207 --> 00:00:41,443
♪ Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie ♪
9
00:00:42,946 --> 00:00:46,018
♪ Louie, Louie you're gonna die ♪
10
00:00:47,521 --> 00:00:50,192
♪ Louie, Louie, Louie
Louie... ♪
11
00:00:52,195 --> 00:00:54,196
Um...
12
00:00:57,256 --> 00:01:00,712
I was on an airplane and there
was a Hasidic Jewish man
13
00:01:00,972 --> 00:01:04,107
trying to put an
enormous bag under the seat.
14
00:01:04,175 --> 00:01:06,578
It doesn't matter that
he was Hasidic,
15
00:01:06,645 --> 00:01:10,249
but it's a detail.
16
00:01:10,316 --> 00:01:12,284
It's a detail.
17
00:01:12,352 --> 00:01:15,320
When you try to put enormous
bags under seats,
18
00:01:15,388 --> 00:01:18,356
folks notice
the kind of person you are.
19
00:01:18,424 --> 00:01:20,158
They make note.
20
00:01:20,226 --> 00:01:21,927
They say some
Chinese guy--
21
00:01:21,994 --> 00:01:25,263
whatever you are--
they're going to describe you.
22
00:01:25,331 --> 00:01:26,431
They're not just gonna say,
23
00:01:26,499 --> 00:01:29,900
"A man put a giant thing
under a seat."
24
00:01:29,968 --> 00:01:31,068
What kind of man?
25
00:01:31,136 --> 00:01:33,037
It's not important.
26
00:01:33,105 --> 00:01:35,207
Just a fellow.
27
00:01:35,274 --> 00:01:38,311
No, this guy trying to
shove this thing under the seat
28
00:01:38,378 --> 00:01:41,181
and no one can leave, 'cause
he's not gonna not do it.
29
00:01:41,249 --> 00:01:44,218
And the flight attendant
was a guy--
30
00:01:44,286 --> 00:01:46,032
and I'm not gonna say he was gay,
31
00:01:46,152 --> 00:01:49,191
'cause that's not important.
32
00:01:49,259 --> 00:01:51,227
It doesn't enter into the story.
33
00:01:51,295 --> 00:01:53,930
I'm gonna call
the Jewish guy a Jewish guy
34
00:01:53,998 --> 00:01:58,301
and I'm gonna call the gay guy
just some guy.
35
00:01:58,369 --> 00:01:59,903
How do you like that?
36
00:01:59,970 --> 00:02:02,005
Isn't that unfair?
37
00:02:02,072 --> 00:02:04,874
I'm not gonna identify him
as gay,
38
00:02:04,942 --> 00:02:08,144
'cause I don't
want to discredit them.
39
00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:09,778
Actually, he didn't do
anything wrong.
40
00:02:09,846 --> 00:02:11,547
So...
41
00:02:11,615 --> 00:02:15,885
Boy, what a disaster
this is right now.
42
00:02:15,953 --> 00:02:18,488
Um...
43
00:02:18,556 --> 00:02:20,257
Jewish guy trying to put
the thing under the seat
44
00:02:20,325 --> 00:02:23,094
and the guy's going,
"Sir, it's not gonna fit."
45
00:02:23,161 --> 00:02:24,862
It's-- He was only slightly gay,
like that.
46
00:02:24,930 --> 00:02:27,032
He wasn't like,
"Sir, it's not gonna fit !
47
00:02:27,100 --> 00:02:28,600
Ahhh !"
48
00:02:28,668 --> 00:02:33,840
No, he just said,
"Sir, it's not gonna fit."
49
00:02:33,907 --> 00:02:35,208
( with Jewish accent )
"It's going to fit,
50
00:02:35,276 --> 00:02:37,110
"I know it's going to fit.
51
00:02:37,178 --> 00:02:40,013
"It's going to fit,
I'm telling you.
52
00:02:40,081 --> 00:02:41,681
Moses..."
53
00:02:41,749 --> 00:02:43,283
( laughing )
54
00:02:59,436 --> 00:03:01,038
What are you doing?
55
00:03:01,105 --> 00:03:03,907
I'm moving this desk so I can
put something else there.
56
00:03:04,075 --> 00:03:05,977
No, Mama put that there.
57
00:03:06,045 --> 00:03:07,545
It's hers.
58
00:03:07,613 --> 00:03:08,747
You better ask her first.
59
00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:10,082
It's all right, baby.
60
00:03:12,719 --> 00:03:16,022
You better ask Mama,
she put that there.
61
00:03:16,090 --> 00:03:17,557
Baby, Mama doesn't
live here anymore.
62
00:03:17,624 --> 00:03:19,525
She lives at her place, okay?
63
00:03:19,593 --> 00:03:21,627
But she used to live here,
64
00:03:21,695 --> 00:03:24,430
and what if she came over
and you moved that?
65
00:03:24,498 --> 00:03:25,598
Hmm?
66
00:03:36,611 --> 00:03:38,979
You suck, man.
67
00:03:39,047 --> 00:03:40,714
You suck at comedy.
68
00:03:43,418 --> 00:03:44,819
There's a lot of cheap places
on the Upper West Side,
69
00:03:44,886 --> 00:03:46,320
but I'd have to--
70
00:03:46,388 --> 00:03:48,623
It's just so far
from the kids' school.
71
00:03:48,691 --> 00:03:51,031
Your mom ate my asshole
last night.
72
00:03:52,328 --> 00:03:53,529
It was good.
73
00:03:53,596 --> 00:03:55,397
Not great, but it was good.
74
00:03:57,401 --> 00:03:58,934
Wanna know why it wasn't great?
75
00:04:00,404 --> 00:04:01,738
( tapping )
76
00:04:01,806 --> 00:04:03,039
Do you want to know why
it wasn't great?
77
00:04:03,107 --> 00:04:04,341
Why?
78
00:04:04,408 --> 00:04:07,878
Because it was your mom
and she sucks.
79
00:04:07,946 --> 00:04:10,047
I could go to Midtown,
80
00:04:10,115 --> 00:04:11,382
take the subway to
school every day.
81
00:04:11,450 --> 00:04:12,450
I don't know, man.
82
00:04:12,517 --> 00:04:14,118
Oh, you know what?
83
00:04:14,185 --> 00:04:15,652
Can I pitch an idea to you?
84
00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:16,987
It's a project.
Yeah, sure.
85
00:04:17,055 --> 00:04:18,088
Okay.
86
00:04:18,156 --> 00:04:19,489
Okay, this is great.
87
00:04:19,557 --> 00:04:21,757
We start with your mom.
88
00:04:21,825 --> 00:04:25,128
We kind of lower her
into a bathtub,
89
00:04:25,195 --> 00:04:26,562
but the bathtub's
not filled with water,
90
00:04:26,630 --> 00:04:30,799
it's filled with diarrhea
from homeless people,
91
00:04:30,867 --> 00:04:34,570
and then we put this
thing on her head, um...
92
00:04:34,637 --> 00:04:35,804
What are those things?
93
00:04:35,872 --> 00:04:37,939
It's like a brick,
but bit's bigger and gray.
94
00:04:38,007 --> 00:04:39,040
A cinder block?
95
00:04:39,108 --> 00:04:40,408
A cinder block,
we put a cinder block,
96
00:04:40,476 --> 00:04:43,077
put it on top of her head
to kind of hold her down.
97
00:04:43,144 --> 00:04:44,845
Do you know anybody who
lives in the East Village?
98
00:04:44,913 --> 00:04:46,046
I'm not done, I'm not done.
99
00:04:46,114 --> 00:04:48,013
I'm sorry, man, I got to
go to an open house.
100
00:04:48,133 --> 00:04:49,209
Can you tell me about this later?
101
00:04:49,275 --> 00:04:50,716
Yeah, that was, like,
10% of the idea.
102
00:04:50,784 --> 00:04:51,984
I gotta go to an open house.
103
00:04:52,052 --> 00:04:53,152
I'll see you later.
All right, can you--
104
00:04:53,220 --> 00:04:53,987
Oh, yeah.
Thanks.
105
00:04:54,054 --> 00:04:55,155
Yeah.
106
00:04:55,275 --> 00:04:56,755
There's a lot more to it,
I think you're gonna like it.
107
00:04:56,823 --> 00:04:57,924
Okay, cool, thanks.
Some twists and turns.
108
00:04:57,991 --> 00:04:59,258
I'll see you later.
Cool.
109
00:05:03,364 --> 00:05:05,132
This is a great place.
110
00:05:05,199 --> 00:05:07,633
There's lots of light,
really modern,
111
00:05:07,753 --> 00:05:09,903
plenty of space.
112
00:05:09,971 --> 00:05:12,184
None of those things
are true about this place.
113
00:05:13,213 --> 00:05:15,209
This one is available
first of the month.
114
00:05:41,169 --> 00:05:42,736
Okay, so I really
want to thank you
115
00:05:42,804 --> 00:05:44,571
for helping me look--
Thanks.
116
00:05:44,639 --> 00:05:46,774
Oh, well, you're so welcome.
117
00:05:46,842 --> 00:05:47,942
Well, I just never
had to find a place
118
00:05:48,010 --> 00:05:49,644
for me and my girls by myself.
119
00:05:49,711 --> 00:05:52,079
It's just easier with somebody to, y'know...
Totally.
120
00:05:52,146 --> 00:05:53,247
I don't care.
121
00:05:53,314 --> 00:05:54,815
Do what I told you.
122
00:05:54,882 --> 00:05:57,394
You take a-- you take
the stove from apartment 16-B
123
00:05:57,514 --> 00:05:58,986
and put it in 17-B.
124
00:05:59,054 --> 00:06:00,855
"B," like "Boratikashi."
125
00:06:00,922 --> 00:06:01,889
Okay?
126
00:06:01,957 --> 00:06:03,090
Yeah.
127
00:06:03,158 --> 00:06:04,792
You act like a man,
you do your job.
128
00:06:04,860 --> 00:06:06,427
Okay, bye.
129
00:06:06,495 --> 00:06:08,329
What can I do for you, buddy?
130
00:06:08,396 --> 00:06:10,278
Hi, there's an ad in the paper
131
00:06:10,398 --> 00:06:12,192
for a three-bedroom
for 2,500.
132
00:06:12,312 --> 00:06:13,567
We don't have that.
133
00:06:13,635 --> 00:06:14,568
What are you looking for?
134
00:06:14,636 --> 00:06:15,702
Was it rented or--
135
00:06:15,770 --> 00:06:16,970
I'm sorry, we don't have it.
136
00:06:17,038 --> 00:06:18,172
You want three-bedroom,
two-bedroom,
137
00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:19,173
what you looking for?
138
00:06:19,241 --> 00:06:20,307
Is this the right place?
139
00:06:20,375 --> 00:06:21,709
'Cause this was in
this morning's paper.
140
00:06:21,777 --> 00:06:23,544
That's a bait-and-switch.
141
00:06:23,612 --> 00:06:24,845
Yes, exactly.
142
00:06:24,913 --> 00:06:27,147
We have a nice apartment,
we put it in the ad
143
00:06:27,215 --> 00:06:28,983
and then you come here
and we show you something else.
144
00:06:29,050 --> 00:06:30,718
Hey, that's illegal, man.
145
00:06:30,785 --> 00:06:32,219
Okay, so call the police, man.
146
00:06:32,287 --> 00:06:33,320
What do you want from me?
147
00:06:33,388 --> 00:06:35,160
Hummus or an apartment, huh?
148
00:06:35,280 --> 00:06:36,423
You come here,
149
00:06:36,491 --> 00:06:39,468
nice couple like you,
you want a nice child nest?
150
00:06:39,588 --> 00:06:40,795
Make a child.
No, no, we're not--
151
00:06:40,863 --> 00:06:42,491
No, she's just my friend.
152
00:06:42,611 --> 00:06:43,631
She just came to help me.
153
00:06:43,699 --> 00:06:45,733
Go to building 701
down the block,
154
00:06:45,801 --> 00:06:47,910
to the left,
apartment 17-A.
155
00:06:48,030 --> 00:06:49,295
Okay?
156
00:06:49,589 --> 00:06:51,038
All right.
Yeah.
157
00:06:51,106 --> 00:06:53,974
There's people there now,
but they'll be out in a week.
158
00:06:54,042 --> 00:06:54,908
Okay.
159
00:06:57,578 --> 00:06:59,346
It's here.
Is that it?
160
00:06:59,414 --> 00:07:00,714
Give me the key.
161
00:07:06,252 --> 00:07:09,008
Did you just...
smell my head?
162
00:07:10,155 --> 00:07:13,141
Ahh, what you...
Oh, shit!
163
00:07:13,261 --> 00:07:14,359
What you do ?!
164
00:07:14,427 --> 00:07:15,560
Let's go, let's go.
Hi.
165
00:07:15,627 --> 00:07:16,628
Sorry--
Let's go.
166
00:07:16,695 --> 00:07:17,930
No, no, it's okay.
Get out!
167
00:07:17,997 --> 00:07:19,331
Get out of my house!
168
00:07:19,399 --> 00:07:20,366
Let's go, come on.
No, no.
169
00:07:20,434 --> 00:07:21,233
It's okay.
170
00:07:21,301 --> 00:07:22,335
Hi, hi.
171
00:07:22,402 --> 00:07:24,630
I'm Pamela and this is Louie,
172
00:07:24,750 --> 00:07:26,206
and Shai gave us the key.
173
00:07:26,273 --> 00:07:28,008
Right, but let's go,
come on, come on.
174
00:07:28,075 --> 00:07:29,543
We're just-- No, no, no, it's okay.
I'm sorry.
175
00:07:29,610 --> 00:07:31,512
Let's go, 'cause I don't want to live here.
No-- Why?
176
00:07:31,580 --> 00:07:33,495
You didn't even give it a chance.
There's a toilet in the kitchen.
177
00:07:33,615 --> 00:07:34,584
Oh, my...
178
00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:35,849
( laughing )
179
00:07:35,917 --> 00:07:37,618
It's a toilet!
Yeah.
180
00:07:37,686 --> 00:07:39,553
So let's go, come on.
So awesome.
181
00:07:39,621 --> 00:07:41,849
Let's get out of here.
No, no, don't write it off.
182
00:07:41,969 --> 00:07:44,320
You're just-- Come on,
look at the living room.
183
00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:46,569
I mean, there's windows
in there, it's so nice.
184
00:07:46,689 --> 00:07:47,719
Would you just look around?
185
00:07:47,839 --> 00:07:48,663
Come on.
186
00:07:48,730 --> 00:07:50,256
We're just gonna look around
the apartment
187
00:07:50,376 --> 00:07:51,499
for a second, okay?
188
00:07:51,566 --> 00:07:53,067
Do you want me to make you an egg?
Okay.
189
00:07:53,135 --> 00:07:54,402
Yeah?
Yes, okay.
190
00:07:54,436 --> 00:07:55,670
That's what I'm gonna...a.
191
00:07:55,737 --> 00:07:57,838
Okay.
Okay, all right.
192
00:07:57,906 --> 00:08:01,174
It's fine, I'll make you
nice, all right?
193
00:08:01,242 --> 00:08:03,444
Okay.
( speaking foreign language )
194
00:08:03,511 --> 00:08:05,125
Okay, we're done with the pickle.
195
00:08:05,245 --> 00:08:07,898
You don't need
any more pickled things.
196
00:08:08,237 --> 00:08:10,651
You're fine, everything's fine.
197
00:08:10,719 --> 00:08:12,920
We're gonna have some nice eggs
198
00:08:12,988 --> 00:08:14,989
and I'm gonna cook for you
199
00:08:15,057 --> 00:08:17,225
and it's all gonna be great.
200
00:08:19,628 --> 00:08:21,396
( footsteps approaching )
201
00:09:09,312 --> 00:09:10,613
There you go.
202
00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:12,815
You're gonna eat this egg,
you're gonna love it.
203
00:09:12,883 --> 00:09:14,950
The edges are crunchy and brown.
204
00:09:15,018 --> 00:09:16,218
Good for you.
( groaning )
205
00:09:16,286 --> 00:09:18,421
Hey, hey, hey, I don't
want to live here, so...
206
00:09:18,489 --> 00:09:20,189
Why?
207
00:09:20,257 --> 00:09:21,591
'Cause he's not done living here
208
00:09:21,658 --> 00:09:23,192
and there's a toilet
in the kitchen and--
209
00:09:23,260 --> 00:09:25,028
You...
So what?
210
00:09:25,095 --> 00:09:26,763
You not cook the right way.
211
00:09:26,830 --> 00:09:28,197
Yeah, he doesn't want the eggs.
What?
212
00:09:28,265 --> 00:09:29,432
Just let's go, come on.
213
00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:30,567
Oh, my God!
214
00:09:30,634 --> 00:09:32,502
With the two of you!
215
00:09:32,569 --> 00:09:34,870
You know what, Pateli?
216
00:09:34,938 --> 00:09:37,239
Your wife died
a year ago, so your turn is up
217
00:09:37,307 --> 00:09:39,541
in a statistical month.
218
00:09:39,609 --> 00:09:43,546
And you, you're so afraid of
life that you're boring.
219
00:09:43,614 --> 00:09:45,180
You know what?
220
00:09:45,248 --> 00:09:47,382
You know what?
221
00:09:47,450 --> 00:09:50,219
Thanks for the reminder, fellas.
222
00:09:50,286 --> 00:09:52,287
( bleep ) men.
223
00:09:52,355 --> 00:09:54,156
I'm outtie.
224
00:10:35,570 --> 00:10:36,503
Hello?
225
00:10:39,302 --> 00:10:43,134
This house was built in 1850
in the Federalist style,
226
00:10:43,254 --> 00:10:44,531
as I'm sure you noticed.
227
00:10:44,662 --> 00:10:47,130
This is the entrance foyer.
228
00:10:47,198 --> 00:10:48,932
It's one of the few houses
on the road
229
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,332
to retain the
single-family layout.
230
00:10:53,670 --> 00:10:56,639
This is just as it was when it
was built and then lived in,
231
00:10:56,706 --> 00:10:58,540
first by a fabric merchant,
232
00:10:58,608 --> 00:11:01,110
and then later, by a daughter
of Theodore Roosevelt
233
00:11:01,177 --> 00:11:02,644
when he was police commissioner.
234
00:11:02,712 --> 00:11:04,246
Actually, she died here.
235
00:11:04,314 --> 00:11:08,317
It was only rented once to
a somewhat famous comedian,
236
00:11:08,384 --> 00:11:11,254
Lenny Bruce.
237
00:11:11,321 --> 00:11:14,290
This bathroom has a shower
that's also a steam room,
238
00:11:14,358 --> 00:11:17,446
a heated toilet seat
and a claw-foot bathtub.
239
00:11:19,911 --> 00:11:22,499
This could be
a bedroom for a child.
240
00:11:22,619 --> 00:11:24,502
How many bedrooms are there?
Five.
241
00:11:25,971 --> 00:11:28,840
So I could have my own room
242
00:11:28,908 --> 00:11:30,508
and the kids could
each have their own room.
243
00:11:30,576 --> 00:11:32,310
And you could have
a play room and an office.
244
00:11:36,148 --> 00:11:38,148
What did you say
you do for a living?
245
00:11:38,216 --> 00:11:39,587
I'm in show business.
246
00:11:42,955 --> 00:11:44,058
Okay.
247
00:11:46,891 --> 00:11:48,758
Here is the kitchen,
which, as you can see,
248
00:11:48,826 --> 00:11:52,128
is full-service-- very modern
and yet tasteful.
249
00:11:52,196 --> 00:11:54,631
And these beautiful glass doors
250
00:11:54,698 --> 00:11:57,483
lead to a gorgeous garden.
251
00:12:03,074 --> 00:12:05,175
This would be the ideal home
252
00:12:05,243 --> 00:12:07,611
for a single father
and his children.
253
00:12:07,679 --> 00:12:11,182
Your girls would be
very, very happy here,
254
00:12:11,250 --> 00:12:14,887
even happier than they are
at their mother's house.
255
00:12:14,954 --> 00:12:16,856
You would be their favorite
256
00:12:16,923 --> 00:12:18,824
and no one could judge you
257
00:12:18,892 --> 00:12:20,527
or say that you were anything
258
00:12:20,594 --> 00:12:23,063
but a wonderful,
wonderful father.
259
00:12:23,130 --> 00:12:27,100
Buying this house would
fix absolutely everything...
260
00:12:27,168 --> 00:12:28,602
everything...
261
00:12:28,669 --> 00:12:30,036
everything...
262
00:12:30,104 --> 00:12:31,538
everything...
263
00:12:31,605 --> 00:12:32,939
everything...
264
00:12:33,007 --> 00:12:34,307
everything...
265
00:12:34,375 --> 00:12:35,408
everything...
266
00:12:35,475 --> 00:12:36,876
everything...
267
00:12:36,943 --> 00:12:38,010
everything...
268
00:12:38,077 --> 00:12:39,244
everything...
269
00:12:39,312 --> 00:12:40,412
everything...
270
00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:42,172
everything...
271
00:12:42,292 --> 00:12:44,015
Yes, it would, yes, it would.
272
00:12:44,083 --> 00:12:45,683
Yes, it would!
273
00:12:45,751 --> 00:12:48,452
I'm sorry?
274
00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:50,889
Uh, how much is the house?
275
00:12:50,957 --> 00:12:52,824
The asking price is 17 million.
276
00:12:55,595 --> 00:12:56,940
I'll take it.
277
00:13:00,978 --> 00:13:01,978
Hey.
Hey.
278
00:13:02,046 --> 00:13:03,313
Louie.
How's it going?
279
00:13:03,380 --> 00:13:04,247
How are you, my man?
How are you?
280
00:13:04,315 --> 00:13:06,182
Good to see you, Ken.
281
00:13:06,250 --> 00:13:07,617
You don't stop up here too often.
282
00:13:07,685 --> 00:13:09,385
What's-- what's up?
283
00:13:09,453 --> 00:13:12,021
Just checking in.
Good.
284
00:13:12,089 --> 00:13:14,356
I got some theater gigs
this month coming up,
285
00:13:14,424 --> 00:13:16,325
so some good money rolling in.
286
00:13:16,393 --> 00:13:18,126
Great, great.
A lot of good money coming in.
287
00:13:18,194 --> 00:13:20,028
So what are you trying to buy?
288
00:13:20,096 --> 00:13:21,930
What do you mean?
289
00:13:21,997 --> 00:13:23,765
Whenever you tell me you
have good money coming in,
290
00:13:23,832 --> 00:13:25,032
it's because you want to
buy something.
291
00:13:25,100 --> 00:13:27,368
Yeah, I know.
So... what is it?
292
00:13:27,435 --> 00:13:28,603
Well, okay.
293
00:13:28,670 --> 00:13:30,071
My girls and I are--
294
00:13:30,138 --> 00:13:31,505
We're still living in
the same place
295
00:13:31,573 --> 00:13:32,973
as when I was married.
Right.
296
00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:35,165
And I just-- I think
we need a fresh start.
297
00:13:35,285 --> 00:13:36,076
Okay.
298
00:13:36,144 --> 00:13:37,105
So you want to move.
299
00:13:37,225 --> 00:13:40,131
Yeah, it's time and--
Good, good, good, good.
300
00:13:40,251 --> 00:13:42,082
So have you started looking?
301
00:13:42,150 --> 00:13:44,023
Well, so I found a place.
Great.
302
00:13:44,143 --> 00:13:45,786
To rent?
303
00:13:45,853 --> 00:13:47,387
It's to buy.
Louie.
304
00:13:47,455 --> 00:13:48,555
I know.
305
00:13:48,623 --> 00:13:49,957
Louie, we talked about this.
306
00:13:50,024 --> 00:13:51,491
You can't afford to buy
anything right now.
307
00:13:51,559 --> 00:13:53,095
You're still paying support.
308
00:13:53,215 --> 00:13:54,961
I know, I just--
309
00:13:55,029 --> 00:13:56,229
This place is perfect
310
00:13:56,297 --> 00:13:58,432
and I know my girls would be
really happy there.
311
00:13:58,499 --> 00:14:00,266
Look, I'm your accountant.
312
00:14:00,334 --> 00:14:02,168
I can only tell you
what you can afford
313
00:14:02,236 --> 00:14:04,960
and I think that you're gonna
have a very hard time
314
00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:07,507
finding credit right now.
315
00:14:07,575 --> 00:14:08,808
Dude.
316
00:14:10,210 --> 00:14:11,944
Okay.
317
00:14:12,012 --> 00:14:13,946
How much is it?
318
00:14:14,014 --> 00:14:15,881
Look, it's a lot,
but--
319
00:14:15,949 --> 00:14:17,383
How much?
320
00:14:17,450 --> 00:14:19,485
It's-- For what it is,
it's really cheap.
321
00:14:19,553 --> 00:14:21,053
Right.
Like, I couldn't believe--
322
00:14:21,121 --> 00:14:23,823
When the lady told me how much
it was, I was blown away...
323
00:14:23,891 --> 00:14:25,325
How much?
... by how little it is.
324
00:14:25,392 --> 00:14:27,427
But it is-- it's a lot, though,
I'll acknowledge that.
325
00:14:27,495 --> 00:14:28,895
I acknowledge--
Louie.
326
00:14:28,963 --> 00:14:29,929
How much?
327
00:14:29,997 --> 00:14:32,565
Okay, it's...
328
00:14:32,633 --> 00:14:35,035
... seven...
329
00:14:35,103 --> 00:14:37,604
... teen...
330
00:14:37,672 --> 00:14:39,606
million.
331
00:14:39,674 --> 00:14:41,407
$17 million.
332
00:14:42,448 --> 00:14:46,668
So... I know it's a lot.
333
00:14:47,848 --> 00:14:51,318
Um, Louie, do I really
need to say anything?
334
00:14:51,386 --> 00:14:52,787
I mean...
335
00:14:52,854 --> 00:14:55,090
Well, I had a good year,
you know, and I just--
336
00:14:55,157 --> 00:14:57,425
When do I get
to step up, you know?
337
00:14:57,493 --> 00:14:59,394
I just feel like--
come on, man.
338
00:14:59,462 --> 00:15:03,432
Do I-- do I really need to
explain to you
339
00:15:03,500 --> 00:15:06,802
why you can't buy
a $17 million house?
340
00:15:06,870 --> 00:15:08,571
I just thought if--
maybe if I really bear down
341
00:15:08,638 --> 00:15:09,939
and I don't spend, like,
342
00:15:10,007 --> 00:15:11,507
you know, I don't spent
a lot on other stuff.
343
00:15:11,575 --> 00:15:14,245
I could just change--
I think I could change--
344
00:15:14,365 --> 00:15:16,846
Let's-- let's take a look
at the numbers.
345
00:15:16,914 --> 00:15:19,048
Okay, totally, yes, yes.
346
00:15:19,116 --> 00:15:20,950
So that's 17 million.
347
00:15:21,017 --> 00:15:22,818
Mm-hmm.
348
00:15:22,886 --> 00:15:26,056
So you have to
put down 3.4 million.
349
00:15:26,124 --> 00:15:28,926
And you have to put that
down now, in cash.
350
00:15:28,993 --> 00:15:30,594
And then your monthly payments
351
00:15:30,662 --> 00:15:34,165
are gonna be 77,000,
352
00:15:34,233 --> 00:15:36,902
plus maintenance and tax.
353
00:15:36,970 --> 00:15:40,573
So basically, 80,000 a month,
354
00:15:40,641 --> 00:15:43,276
plus the 3.4 million that
you're gonna plunk down
355
00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:44,877
right now, okay?
356
00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:46,212
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
357
00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:49,415
So now let's compare that
to your current assets.
358
00:15:49,483 --> 00:15:51,517
All right, currently,
359
00:15:51,585 --> 00:15:54,953
in savings, you have $7,000.
360
00:15:59,526 --> 00:16:01,693
7,000.
361
00:16:01,761 --> 00:16:03,094
Yeah.
362
00:16:06,793 --> 00:16:10,381
So, um... you have
363
00:16:11,236 --> 00:16:15,908
less than ten times less
364
00:16:15,976 --> 00:16:20,699
than one mortgage payment
on this house.
365
00:16:22,083 --> 00:16:23,784
Well, let me-- Okay.
366
00:16:23,852 --> 00:16:27,021
Louie, you're gonna have to...
367
00:16:27,089 --> 00:16:29,690
If-- if-- I--
368
00:16:29,758 --> 00:16:30,925
'Cause we haven't even--
369
00:16:30,993 --> 00:16:34,394
I mean, if I was able to
get them to come down.
370
00:16:34,462 --> 00:16:36,730
I'm just saying, what could
I afford right now?
371
00:16:36,797 --> 00:16:39,866
Like, what could I buy
a house for right now?
372
00:16:39,933 --> 00:16:40,967
Buy a house?
373
00:16:41,034 --> 00:16:42,902
Right now?
Yeah.
374
00:16:42,969 --> 00:16:45,171
Well...
375
00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:46,372
I mean, right now,
376
00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:49,375
you could buy a house
that costs $7,000.
377
00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:58,117
You know, you should
find a nice rental.
378
00:17:02,924 --> 00:17:04,224
I mean, isn't there...
379
00:17:06,895 --> 00:17:08,863
What about--
what about Obama?
380
00:17:12,234 --> 00:17:14,268
What-- what about it?
381
00:17:14,336 --> 00:17:16,971
I mean...
what do you mean?
382
00:17:17,039 --> 00:17:19,775
I have children, I have two kids,
383
00:17:19,842 --> 00:17:22,778
and I should totally be
saving for them
384
00:17:22,846 --> 00:17:25,948
and I'm totally not
saving for them at all.
385
00:17:26,016 --> 00:17:27,816
It's really bad
386
00:17:27,884 --> 00:17:31,586
how I'm not preparing
for their future
387
00:17:31,654 --> 00:17:34,589
or even their near-present.
388
00:17:34,657 --> 00:17:39,093
It's so irresponsible and unfair.
389
00:17:39,161 --> 00:17:41,128
I know it's wrong,
but part of me feels like,
390
00:17:41,196 --> 00:17:43,597
why should they get the money,
anyway?
391
00:17:43,665 --> 00:17:46,400
They didn't do the shows,
why should they get the money?
392
00:17:46,468 --> 00:17:49,404
Why should they get paid
for shit I did?
393
00:17:49,471 --> 00:17:51,906
It doesn't really
make sense to me.
394
00:17:51,974 --> 00:17:53,709
It doesn't make sense that
kids get your money
395
00:17:53,776 --> 00:17:54,910
after you're gone.
396
00:17:54,978 --> 00:17:56,412
It's like when
we used to let kings
397
00:17:56,479 --> 00:17:57,880
take over for their fathers.
398
00:17:57,948 --> 00:18:02,152
That's the craziest rule
that ever existed.
399
00:18:02,220 --> 00:18:06,357
That if the king dies,
they let his kid be the king.
400
00:18:06,425 --> 00:18:10,595
What are the odds that he's not
gonna be a piece of shit?
401
00:18:10,663 --> 00:18:12,397
How do you let that...
402
00:18:15,234 --> 00:18:17,001
That's one of the weirdest
things that we've ever done
403
00:18:17,069 --> 00:18:18,302
as a race of people.
404
00:18:18,370 --> 00:18:19,704
I mean all of us.
405
00:18:19,772 --> 00:18:20,839
White people and--
406
00:18:20,906 --> 00:18:22,774
I mean, there are
black kings, too.
407
00:18:22,842 --> 00:18:26,244
Of African countries.
408
00:18:26,311 --> 00:18:28,379
There's never been
a black king of England.
409
00:18:30,682 --> 00:18:33,017
That's never gonna happen.
410
00:18:33,085 --> 00:18:35,686
That is one color line
that's never gonna get--
411
00:18:35,754 --> 00:18:37,422
Don't even hope, man.
412
00:18:37,489 --> 00:18:38,856
It ain't gonna happen.
413
00:18:38,924 --> 00:18:42,694
There's not gonna be
a black king of England.
414
00:18:42,761 --> 00:18:44,462
I mean, after all that white
415
00:18:44,530 --> 00:18:46,664
that's been pumped into their
blood for years,
416
00:18:46,732 --> 00:18:49,534
they've just been this
kind of jizzy white color
417
00:18:49,602 --> 00:18:52,604
for all these generations.
418
00:18:52,671 --> 00:18:53,971
"Purpley"-- They're all--
419
00:18:54,039 --> 00:18:57,109
Every British royal
looks like cock meat.
420
00:18:57,176 --> 00:19:00,979
That's what their faces look
like, an Irish penis.
421
00:19:03,482 --> 00:19:04,815
That's what they look like--
422
00:19:04,883 --> 00:19:07,885
Someone took an Irishman's penis
and stretched it out
423
00:19:07,953 --> 00:19:11,789
and drew a face
on it with Sharpie.
424
00:19:11,857 --> 00:19:13,158
Just...
425
00:19:13,225 --> 00:19:14,158
That's what they look like.
426
00:19:23,368 --> 00:19:24,602
Hey.
427
00:19:24,669 --> 00:19:26,904
I didn't see you today.
428
00:19:26,971 --> 00:19:28,505
Yeah, I...
429
00:19:30,575 --> 00:19:32,842
Oh.
430
00:19:32,910 --> 00:19:34,210
I see.
431
00:19:36,846 --> 00:19:39,147
You know, I don't just
have these places.
432
00:19:39,215 --> 00:19:41,583
I could show you
some nice rentals.
433
00:19:41,651 --> 00:19:44,102
Small, but okay.
434
00:19:46,355 --> 00:19:48,190
No.
435
00:19:48,257 --> 00:19:49,791
No, I'm buying this house.
436
00:19:52,295 --> 00:19:53,829
I'm buying this house.
437
00:20:48,648 --> 00:20:58,825
Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
438
00:20:58,875 --> 00:21:03,425
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