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1
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Sometimes when
I'm talking to my daughter,
2
00:00:05,785 --> 00:00:08,854
I'll be looking down at her,
my little girl,
3
00:00:08,922 --> 00:00:12,925
and I just...
I see my mother, y'know?
4
00:00:12,992 --> 00:00:15,094
Your mother?
5
00:00:15,161 --> 00:00:16,528
Yeah.
6
00:00:17,897 --> 00:00:20,265
Is your mother there?
7
00:00:20,333 --> 00:00:22,367
Is she...
8
00:00:22,435 --> 00:00:23,969
No, I just mean I...
9
00:00:24,037 --> 00:00:25,204
I mean when
I look at my daughter,
10
00:00:25,271 --> 00:00:26,638
I just... that's what
I see sometimes.
11
00:00:26,706 --> 00:00:29,241
I see my mom.
12
00:00:29,309 --> 00:00:31,977
Is she standing
in front of her or...
13
00:00:32,045 --> 00:00:34,379
Is...
14
00:00:34,447 --> 00:00:37,116
Are you at your
mother's house or...
15
00:00:39,018 --> 00:00:42,592
Sync by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
16
00:00:46,693 --> 00:00:49,862
♪ Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie ♪
17
00:00:51,464 --> 00:00:54,399
♪ Louie, Louie, Louie Louaaa ♪
18
00:01:00,807 --> 00:01:03,842
♪
♪ Louie, Louie you're gonna cry ♪
19
00:01:05,345 --> 00:01:08,514
♪ Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie ♪
20
00:01:10,083 --> 00:01:13,118
♪ Louie, Louie, Louie Louaaa ♪
21
00:01:14,654 --> 00:01:17,422
♪ Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie ♪
22
00:01:19,292 --> 00:01:23,695
♪ Louie, Louie
you're gonna die ♪
23
00:01:23,763 --> 00:01:26,365
♪ Louie, Louie, Louie
Louie... ♪
24
00:01:38,178 --> 00:01:41,113
You doing a show tomorrow?
25
00:01:41,181 --> 00:01:43,115
Uh, yeah, I'm doing
a short set at the Cellar.
26
00:01:44,884 --> 00:01:47,653
I got this girl I'm dating,
you mind if I bring her?
27
00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:49,988
Fine.
28
00:01:50,056 --> 00:01:52,391
What are you doing after?
29
00:01:52,458 --> 00:01:55,594
I don't know, why?
30
00:01:55,662 --> 00:01:59,598
Maybe you could
hang out with us after.
31
00:01:59,666 --> 00:02:01,266
You're gonna be on a date?
32
00:02:03,002 --> 00:02:05,270
Well, you...
33
00:02:05,338 --> 00:02:09,007
Come hang out with us
after you're done.
34
00:02:09,075 --> 00:02:11,410
Why?
That's weird.
35
00:02:11,477 --> 00:02:14,246
She wants to meet you.
36
00:02:14,314 --> 00:02:16,515
All right.
37
00:02:16,583 --> 00:02:19,451
After the show, I'll hang out
for a few minutes, say hi,
38
00:02:19,519 --> 00:02:21,053
then you take her out.
39
00:02:22,555 --> 00:02:25,857
But...
40
00:02:25,925 --> 00:02:27,793
Jeez, you...
41
00:02:27,860 --> 00:02:30,596
What's the deal?
42
00:02:30,663 --> 00:02:32,197
Okay, this is kind of weird.
43
00:02:32,265 --> 00:02:33,865
Yeah, it is.
44
00:02:33,933 --> 00:02:36,668
Don't get all jaggedy on me.
45
00:02:36,736 --> 00:02:39,371
Bro, I met this girl.
46
00:02:39,439 --> 00:02:40,339
I really like her.
47
00:02:40,406 --> 00:02:42,040
I mean, she's amazing
48
00:02:42,108 --> 00:02:45,510
and she gets me really,
really horny.
49
00:02:45,578 --> 00:02:47,379
I mean, she's...
she's beautiful.
50
00:02:47,447 --> 00:02:49,881
I mean,
this chick... this woman...
51
00:02:49,949 --> 00:02:52,150
Oh, my God!
Okay, so what?
52
00:02:52,218 --> 00:02:54,019
All right, so we've
been out like six times.
53
00:02:54,087 --> 00:02:56,388
We always wind up back at her
place making out,
54
00:02:56,456 --> 00:02:58,123
but, I mean, really making out,
55
00:02:58,191 --> 00:02:59,725
tongues are everywhere.
56
00:02:59,792 --> 00:03:01,560
I mean, she's grabbing on me.
57
00:03:01,628 --> 00:03:03,562
I mean,
she's grabbing on me... This sounds great, Robbie,
58
00:03:03,630 --> 00:03:04,896
but I don't really want to
keep hearing about it.
59
00:03:04,964 --> 00:03:07,633
Okay, so...
60
00:03:07,700 --> 00:03:16,508
we always do the same thing,
just making out at her place.
61
00:03:16,576 --> 00:03:19,244
And I get... I mean, my dick
is hard as a naiking...
62
00:03:19,312 --> 00:03:22,347
This is the part I didn't
want to hear, so stop, okay? Okay, okay, okay, okay...
63
00:03:22,415 --> 00:03:24,383
Okay, here's the thing.
64
00:03:24,450 --> 00:03:26,451
She really wants me.
65
00:03:26,519 --> 00:03:27,919
But only with another uuy.
66
00:03:31,457 --> 00:03:36,028
She can't get off with
anything less than two guys.
67
00:03:36,095 --> 00:03:37,562
She can't get off with one guy?
68
00:03:37,630 --> 00:03:40,232
Anything less than two,
she can't do it.
69
00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:42,501
So she said if
I can get another guy...
70
00:03:42,568 --> 00:03:44,569
Stop talking now, stop talking.
71
00:03:44,637 --> 00:03:46,538
Stop making
words with your... No, no, no.
72
00:03:46,606 --> 00:03:48,373
You don't understand,
you're not getting it. Robbie, don't say it
73
00:03:48,441 --> 00:03:49,941
Please don't say it out loud.
74
00:03:50,009 --> 00:03:52,611
I told her who you were.
75
00:03:52,679 --> 00:03:54,046
She's a fan.
76
00:03:54,113 --> 00:03:55,947
She thought it would be hot!
77
00:03:56,015 --> 00:03:58,583
You want to have a threesome
with your own brother? No!
78
00:03:58,651 --> 00:04:00,218
What's wrong with you?
No, no, no.
79
00:04:00,286 --> 00:04:02,654
She does, she does.
80
00:04:02,722 --> 00:04:04,289
I have a plan.
81
00:04:04,357 --> 00:04:06,792
Look, you pretend like you're
gonna do it, you're into it,
82
00:04:06,859 --> 00:04:09,227
we'll all go out,
then we come back,
83
00:04:09,295 --> 00:04:11,296
y'know, you pretend like you're
gonna start in with us
84
00:04:11,364 --> 00:04:12,931
and then leave.
85
00:04:12,999 --> 00:04:15,300
Y'know, like you have to
leave because you have...
86
00:04:15,368 --> 00:04:17,369
you have prior engagements.
87
00:04:17,437 --> 00:04:19,504
And then I'm there,
she's all hot...
88
00:04:19,572 --> 00:04:20,872
Louie, she's
all hot and then...
89
00:04:20,940 --> 00:04:22,407
I mean, look, it might
not work,
90
00:04:22,475 --> 00:04:24,643
but that's... that's my
only chance, bro. Robbie...
91
00:04:26,012 --> 00:04:28,780
Look, you're my brother,
92
00:04:28,848 --> 00:04:30,382
and I like you a lot,
93
00:04:30,450 --> 00:04:33,385
so... here's what
I'm willing to do, okay?
94
00:04:33,453 --> 00:04:35,787
Yeah.
95
00:04:35,855 --> 00:04:37,723
I'm gonna go home now
96
00:04:37,790 --> 00:04:39,858
and I'm not gonna talk to you
for about three weeks, okay?
97
00:04:39,926 --> 00:04:41,393
Bro...
Good luck.
98
00:04:41,461 --> 00:04:42,794
Bro!
99
00:04:52,438 --> 00:04:54,439
I don't know, I'm supposed to
give my kids values.
100
00:04:54,507 --> 00:04:57,075
I don't... I don't
have any of those.
101
00:04:57,143 --> 00:04:59,378
I used to, but they're
melting away.
102
00:04:59,445 --> 00:05:00,879
They finally are.
103
00:05:00,947 --> 00:05:03,415
You know, you get instilled
with values byour parents
104
00:05:03,483 --> 00:05:05,684
and by school, whatever else,
you know?
105
00:05:05,752 --> 00:05:07,886
Society teaches
you things, makes you...
106
00:05:07,954 --> 00:05:09,488
teaches you how to
be a good person.
107
00:05:09,555 --> 00:05:12,724
But you ever feel for
your real values inside?
108
00:05:12,792 --> 00:05:15,894
Like, who you would be if
you had no guidance?
109
00:05:15,962 --> 00:05:17,462
Like, I think
about that sometimes.
110
00:05:17,530 --> 00:05:20,766
Like, what are the things
I believe in my marrow
111
00:05:20,833 --> 00:05:23,301
that I can't really...
112
00:05:23,369 --> 00:05:24,569
that had to be shaved away?
113
00:05:24,637 --> 00:05:26,905
They're coming back now.
114
00:05:26,973 --> 00:05:28,039
Like, here's one.
115
00:05:28,107 --> 00:05:34,679
I really, somewhere deep down,
116
00:05:38,851 --> 00:05:40,719
You kind of didn't
do anything wrong.
117
00:05:51,998 --> 00:05:53,265
Mom?
118
00:05:53,332 --> 00:05:54,699
Hello, Louie.
119
00:05:57,570 --> 00:05:58,970
Mom.
120
00:05:59,038 --> 00:06:01,440
Hello!
121
00:06:01,507 --> 00:06:03,642
Mom, I didn't know
you were coming here.
122
00:06:03,709 --> 00:06:06,611
Well, that's because
I didn't tell you.
123
00:06:06,679 --> 00:06:08,580
Uh, girls, say hi
to your grandma.
124
00:06:08,648 --> 00:06:09,748
Hello, Grandma.
125
00:06:09,816 --> 00:06:11,283
Hello, girls.
126
00:06:11,350 --> 00:06:14,052
Listen, I got... I gotta
take them to their mom's.
127
00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:15,420
You want to come with me or...
128
00:06:15,488 --> 00:06:18,423
Well, not really, I'm tired.
129
00:06:18,491 --> 00:06:20,025
Okay, well,
why don't you wait here
130
00:06:20,092 --> 00:06:21,993
and I'll be back in about
half an hour.
131
00:06:22,061 --> 00:06:25,130
Well, what do I do
while you're gone?
132
00:06:25,198 --> 00:06:26,364
Um, whatever you want.
133
00:06:26,432 --> 00:06:27,999
Make yourself something to eat.
134
00:06:28,067 --> 00:06:29,568
Well, that's not really ideal.
135
00:06:29,635 --> 00:06:32,604
I am hungry, but I don't
like fending for myself.
136
00:06:32,672 --> 00:06:34,039
Mom, I... I didn't know
you were coming here
137
00:06:34,106 --> 00:06:35,407
and I gotta take them, so...
138
00:06:35,475 --> 00:06:37,242
Well, can't you make me
something to eat first
139
00:06:37,310 --> 00:06:39,110
and then take them?
140
00:06:39,178 --> 00:06:40,512
What are they
doing here anyway?
141
00:06:40,580 --> 00:06:42,247
You're divorced.
142
00:06:42,315 --> 00:06:43,281
Mom...
143
00:06:43,349 --> 00:06:44,716
Oh, sorry.
144
00:06:44,784 --> 00:06:47,219
They... they don't know
you're divorced yet?
145
00:06:47,286 --> 00:06:48,920
Daddy, can we please go now?
146
00:06:48,988 --> 00:06:50,188
Yeah, let's go, baby.
147
00:06:50,256 --> 00:06:51,790
Sorry, Mom,
we gotta get going, so...
148
00:06:51,858 --> 00:06:55,293
Well, I think this
is very rude!
149
00:06:55,361 --> 00:06:56,561
I hardly ever see you,
150
00:06:56,629 --> 00:06:58,296
and I can't get
a thing out of you.
151
00:06:58,364 --> 00:06:59,898
Meanwhile, this one peeps
she wants to go
152
00:06:59,966 --> 00:07:02,334
and you hop to it.
153
00:07:02,401 --> 00:07:03,168
Bye, Mom.
154
00:07:03,236 --> 00:07:04,569
See you later.
155
00:07:04,637 --> 00:07:07,939
I'm frankly amazed
that you're leaving me!
156
00:07:08,007 --> 00:07:09,808
I'm... I came all this way
to see you.
157
00:07:09,876 --> 00:07:11,843
I wanted to surprise you.
158
00:07:11,911 --> 00:07:15,647
I need to lie down,
have a cup of tea.
159
00:07:15,715 --> 00:07:16,982
Let's go, girls, come on.
160
00:07:17,049 --> 00:07:19,584
I came a long way
and I'm very tired.
161
00:07:19,652 --> 00:07:21,086
My feet are killing me.
Daddy?
162
00:07:21,153 --> 00:07:23,021
Yeah?
Why is your mommy like that?
163
00:07:23,089 --> 00:07:24,823
Why did you
leave me here? I don't know, baby.
164
00:07:24,891 --> 00:07:26,491
I deserve more
respect than this.
165
00:07:26,559 --> 00:07:27,926
Do you love her?
166
00:07:27,994 --> 00:07:30,061
Yeah.
167
00:07:30,129 --> 00:07:31,796
Why?
168
00:07:31,864 --> 00:07:33,732
I... I don't know.
169
00:07:33,799 --> 00:07:35,133
Love... love is a weird thing,
170
00:07:35,201 --> 00:07:36,268
because if you really
love somebody,
171
00:07:36,335 --> 00:07:38,336
I think you hate
them at some point.
172
00:07:38,404 --> 00:07:40,639
You know, like your mother is
the first person you ever love.
173
00:07:40,706 --> 00:07:42,874
That's the first person
that you love,
174
00:07:42,942 --> 00:07:50,282
and who wants to ever
talk to their mother anymore?
175
00:07:50,349 --> 00:07:52,183
I mean, once you're a grown-up,
and your friends... u
176
00:07:52,251 --> 00:07:54,319
Like, when you're alone
with your mom, you can take it.
177
00:07:54,387 --> 00:07:55,787
But when you're with your
friends
178
00:07:55,855 --> 00:07:57,656
and she starts talking,
"Well, we got here at 5:00."
179
00:07:57,723 --> 00:08:00,625
You're like, "Just shut up,
just shut up!
180
00:08:00,693 --> 00:08:02,761
Just shut up !"
181
00:08:02,828 --> 00:08:06,464
Please let there be
another 9/11 right now
182
00:08:06,532 --> 00:08:08,567
and there's a phone call
about it
183
00:08:08,634 --> 00:08:10,201
so that I don't
have to listen to this.
184
00:08:17,261 --> 00:08:19,463
I'm just saying that
if I had known we were
185
00:08:19,530 --> 00:08:20,864
going to take a taxi here,
186
00:08:20,932 --> 00:08:22,532
I would have
dressed differently.
187
00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:25,102
How do you dress for
a cab ride, Mom?
188
00:08:25,169 --> 00:08:27,204
Okay, are you
guys ready? I'm sorry, yes.
189
00:08:27,271 --> 00:08:29,640
Please bring me a menu
with larger type.
190
00:08:29,707 --> 00:08:31,308
I'm sorry?
This print is too small.
191
00:08:31,376 --> 00:08:33,143
Bring me a menu
with larger type.
192
00:08:33,211 --> 00:08:34,444
Mom, I can read it to you.
193
00:08:34,512 --> 00:08:36,079
I don't need you
to read it to me.
194
00:08:36,147 --> 00:08:38,548
He can bring me a menu
with larger type.
195
00:08:38,616 --> 00:08:40,217
Jesus Christ.
196
00:08:40,284 --> 00:08:41,518
Ma'am, I'm sorry.
197
00:08:41,586 --> 00:08:43,420
We don't have menus
with larger type.
198
00:08:45,356 --> 00:08:46,790
We don't have those menus.
199
00:08:50,128 --> 00:08:52,529
Well, I guess we'll just have
to eat somewhere else. Here we go, yep.
200
00:08:57,402 --> 00:08:59,870
This salad isn't very good.
201
00:08:59,937 --> 00:09:01,371
In fact, it's not good.
202
00:09:01,439 --> 00:09:02,506
I hate it.
203
00:09:02,573 --> 00:09:03,807
Mom, why are you here?
204
00:09:03,875 --> 00:09:05,909
Why did you come here
without telling me?
205
00:09:05,977 --> 00:09:08,779
That's right, I came to
tell you that I'm a lesbian.
206
00:09:12,817 --> 00:09:14,618
What?
207
00:09:14,686 --> 00:09:17,554
I said,
"I'm a lesbian."
208
00:09:21,492 --> 00:09:23,026
Okay.
209
00:09:23,094 --> 00:09:24,895
You know, I think I always was,
210
00:09:24,962 --> 00:09:26,830
even when I was
with your father.
211
00:09:26,898 --> 00:09:28,298
We only had sex two times,
212
00:09:28,366 --> 00:09:30,934
one was for your brother
and the other for you.
213
00:09:31,002 --> 00:09:35,305
And it was...
really disgusting.
214
00:09:35,373 --> 00:09:36,740
I... at least it
was for me.
215
00:09:36,808 --> 00:09:37,908
I hated it.
216
00:09:37,975 --> 00:09:39,209
All right, then.
217
00:09:39,277 --> 00:09:40,944
And now I know that it was
because I wasn't
218
00:09:41,012 --> 00:09:43,714
paying attention to
what my body needed.
219
00:09:43,781 --> 00:09:45,682
This is my body.
220
00:09:45,750 --> 00:09:52,355
It... it's worth something more
than squeezing out two men
221
00:09:52,423 --> 00:09:55,325
I mean, who needs any of you?
222
00:09:55,393 --> 00:09:56,860
This is my body.
223
00:09:56,928 --> 00:09:58,795
My body is a woman.
224
00:09:58,863 --> 00:10:00,430
Woman!
225
00:10:02,867 --> 00:10:04,367
Wo-man.
226
00:10:08,406 --> 00:10:11,274
Woman!
227
00:10:11,342 --> 00:10:14,745
Well, what do you think?
228
00:10:14,812 --> 00:10:15,846
Don't you have anything to say?
229
00:10:15,913 --> 00:10:17,647
Not really.
230
00:10:17,715 --> 00:10:20,317
Wouldn't you like to know
how I arrived at this?
231
00:10:20,384 --> 00:10:21,852
What my journey has been?
232
00:10:21,919 --> 00:10:24,421
You know, Mom...
233
00:10:24,489 --> 00:10:26,256
I haven't seen you in a year.
234
00:10:26,324 --> 00:10:27,424
I know.
235
00:10:27,492 --> 00:10:28,291
You've gotten fatter.
236
00:10:28,359 --> 00:10:30,193
You know, last Christmas,
237
00:10:30,261 --> 00:10:31,828
you asked the kids and I
to come with you
238
00:10:31,896 --> 00:10:33,497
to spend it at your house,
239
00:10:33,564 --> 00:10:34,931
and we get there
and it's dark and empty.
240
00:10:34,999 --> 00:10:36,666
You were gone.
241
00:10:36,734 --> 00:10:38,935
Yeah, I was in Phoenix.
242
00:10:39,003 --> 00:10:40,871
You... you invited us
for Christmas.
243
00:10:40,938 --> 00:10:43,006
And then I decided
to go to Phoenix.
244
00:10:43,074 --> 00:10:44,241
It was very cold.
245
00:10:44,308 --> 00:10:46,676
And my friend invited me.
246
00:10:46,744 --> 00:10:50,013
My kids spent Christmas
in a Holiday Inn
247
00:10:50,081 --> 00:10:54,417
and Santa brought
them each a bag of M&M's.
248
00:10:54,485 --> 00:10:56,086
Are you serious?
249
00:10:56,154 --> 00:10:58,255
Your mother tells you that she
just found out who she is
250
00:10:58,322 --> 00:11:00,290
and you...
you have no opinion?
251
00:11:00,358 --> 00:11:01,491
Nope.
252
00:11:01,559 --> 00:11:03,660
I don't care.
Uh-huh.
253
00:11:03,728 --> 00:11:05,228
You're homophobic.
254
00:11:05,296 --> 00:11:06,429
Oh, no.
255
00:11:06,497 --> 00:11:07,731
No!
256
00:11:07,799 --> 00:11:09,633
I don't care what you do
with your vagina.
257
00:11:09,700 --> 00:11:11,168
You know what, honestly,
you can take your vagina
258
00:11:11,235 --> 00:11:13,003
and you can
shove it up your ass.
259
00:11:13,070 --> 00:11:14,337
Be careful what you say about
260
00:11:14,405 --> 00:11:16,339
the place from whence you came.
261
00:11:18,142 --> 00:11:21,111
"From whence I came"?
262
00:11:21,179 --> 00:11:22,946
That's really...
I gotta... I gotta go.
263
00:11:25,049 --> 00:11:26,716
But I... I haven't
told you about my wife!
264
00:11:26,784 --> 00:11:29,286
I don't give a shit, Mom!
265
00:11:29,353 --> 00:11:31,555
I don't care!
266
00:11:31,622 --> 00:11:32,856
I'm 42 now!
267
00:11:32,924 --> 00:11:35,792
I don't even
ever think about you.
268
00:11:35,860 --> 00:11:39,796
You know, Lily asked me
today why I love you.
269
00:11:39,864 --> 00:11:41,064
I couldn't remember.
270
00:11:41,132 --> 00:11:42,132
You know why?
271
00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:43,767
Because I don't...
I don't.
272
00:11:43,835 --> 00:11:46,369
I really don't love you, Mom.
273
00:11:46,437 --> 00:11:48,538
My kids don't love you, either.
274
00:11:48,606 --> 00:11:50,473
Because you don't even
care that they're alive.
275
00:11:50,541 --> 00:11:52,509
You don't even know
that I'm alive.
276
00:11:52,577 --> 00:11:53,810
The only people...
the only person who loves you
277
00:11:53,878 --> 00:11:56,880
is my brother, and that's
why he's a loser.
278
00:11:56,948 --> 00:11:58,215
You didn't come here to see us.
279
00:11:58,282 --> 00:12:00,250
You came here to parade around
your new identity.
280
00:12:00,318 --> 00:12:02,786
Well, I don't give a shit, Mom.
281
00:12:02,854 --> 00:12:07,657
I really don't.
282
00:12:19,537 --> 00:12:21,471
Oh, Jesus.
283
00:12:24,575 --> 00:12:27,143
This is bullshit,
you need to know that.
284
00:12:31,249 --> 00:12:32,382
Dude.
285
00:12:41,525 --> 00:12:43,126
Here's another one,
another thing I believe
286
00:12:43,194 --> 00:12:44,694
deep down, again,
287
00:12:44,762 --> 00:12:48,298
is that gay people
should stop doing that,
288
00:12:48,366 --> 00:12:50,667
because...
289
00:12:50,735 --> 00:12:53,236
And not for any moral
or societal reason.
290
00:12:53,304 --> 00:12:54,371
I don't give a shit.
291
00:12:54,438 --> 00:12:56,106
I have gay friends...
that's love.
292
00:12:56,173 --> 00:12:58,208
You should respect what they
want to do with their lives,
293
00:12:58,276 --> 00:13:01,378
but they're just...
they're doing it wrong.
294
00:13:01,445 --> 00:13:05,048
It's not supposed to be two
vaginas smooshed together.
295
00:13:05,116 --> 00:13:06,850
It doesn't make any sense.
296
00:13:06,918 --> 00:13:08,852
It's like two buckets
and you hold the openings
297
00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:10,253
against each other.
298
00:13:10,321 --> 00:13:12,489
There's nothing being
accomplished.
299
00:13:12,556 --> 00:13:15,058
You need to put a thing in
a thing, otherwise what's...
300
00:13:15,126 --> 00:13:16,793
What are you doing?
301
00:13:16,861 --> 00:13:18,261
I mean, gay guys, I get it,
302
00:13:18,329 --> 00:13:20,864
'cause they're
putting a dick in a place,
303
00:13:20,932 --> 00:13:22,499
in a ass of a man,
304
00:13:22,566 --> 00:13:24,534
which, by the way,
what better place
305
00:13:24,602 --> 00:13:27,037
to put a dick than a man's ass?
306
00:13:27,104 --> 00:13:29,105
It's perfect.
307
00:13:29,173 --> 00:13:31,741
It's... even a vagina
is awkward.
308
00:13:31,809 --> 00:13:34,644
You have to go up and in
and you have to kind of...
309
00:13:34,712 --> 00:13:36,746
Or she has to splay herself
310
00:13:36,814 --> 00:13:38,014
and you have to go like this.
311
00:13:38,082 --> 00:13:41,084
It just looks weird, even.
312
00:13:41,152 --> 00:13:43,920
But a guy,
you just walk up to him
313
00:13:43,988 --> 00:13:45,188
and your dick's in his ass.
314
00:13:45,256 --> 00:13:48,558
That's it, you just walk up
behind him.
315
00:13:48,626 --> 00:13:51,528
It's that simple.
316
00:13:51,595 --> 00:13:53,596
Just, I'm... gay.
317
00:13:53,664 --> 00:13:56,700
That's it, you just walk up,
you're gay.
318
00:13:56,767 --> 00:13:59,869
And then
somebody goes into you.
319
00:13:59,937 --> 00:14:02,372
That's how we were packed
originally to save space.
320
00:14:07,878 --> 00:14:09,312
But the two holes bump...
321
00:14:10,481 --> 00:14:11,881
What the hell are you doing?
322
00:14:11,949 --> 00:14:13,016
It's wrong.
323
00:14:13,084 --> 00:14:15,652
Not morally,
just geometrically.
324
00:14:23,253 --> 00:14:25,621
Bro, what are you
telling me here?
325
00:14:25,688 --> 00:14:27,990
Mom is a "lesbonian"?
326
00:14:28,057 --> 00:14:29,224
Yeah.
327
00:14:30,660 --> 00:14:33,395
This... this is bad.
328
00:14:33,463 --> 00:14:35,297
This is bad news.
It is?
329
00:14:35,365 --> 00:14:36,565
Yeah!
330
00:14:36,633 --> 00:14:37,666
That's my mother.
331
00:14:37,734 --> 00:14:38,834
I'm her son.
332
00:14:38,902 --> 00:14:40,102
I gotta go to a doctor
or something
333
00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:41,703
and get checked out.
334
00:14:41,771 --> 00:14:43,505
Checked out for what?
335
00:14:43,573 --> 00:14:45,841
Stupid, if she's got
the gay genes,
336
00:14:45,909 --> 00:14:47,643
I might have the gay genes.
337
00:14:47,710 --> 00:14:49,845
So you're gonna get
screened for gay genes?
338
00:14:49,913 --> 00:14:52,247
Dude, what...
what if I'm gay?
339
00:14:52,315 --> 00:14:55,050
Then you're gay, man,
I don't know.
340
00:14:55,118 --> 00:14:56,351
There's no way
she's a "lesbonian."
341
00:14:56,419 --> 00:14:58,086
That's our mother.
342
00:15:01,157 --> 00:15:03,725
How did she have kids
if she doesn't do guys? I don't know.
343
00:15:03,793 --> 00:15:05,894
And why the hell
did she tell you ?
344
00:15:05,962 --> 00:15:07,462
I call her every day.
I don't know.
345
00:15:07,530 --> 00:15:10,165
She didn't tell me
she was in town. I n't know, man.
346
00:15:10,233 --> 00:15:12,401
She wants us to meet her
tonight with her... her wife.
347
00:15:12,468 --> 00:15:14,770
Wife... my mother's wife!
348
00:15:14,838 --> 00:15:17,206
What the shit is that, Lou?
349
00:15:17,273 --> 00:15:19,041
What's this world coming to?
350
00:15:19,108 --> 00:15:20,576
Look, man, maybe
this is a good thing.
351
00:15:20,643 --> 00:15:22,444
I mean, Mom has been a mess
her whole life.
352
00:15:22,512 --> 00:15:25,514
Maybe this will center her.
353
00:15:25,582 --> 00:15:27,983
I... I don't know, bro.
354
00:15:28,051 --> 00:15:29,785
I'm not into this shit.
355
00:15:45,368 --> 00:15:47,369
ing a suit?
356
00:15:47,437 --> 00:15:48,770
I'm trying to have
some respect.
357
00:15:58,681 --> 00:15:59,915
Hi, boys.
358
00:16:03,853 --> 00:16:05,287
Hey.
359
00:16:05,355 --> 00:16:06,555
Love you, Ma.
Robbie.
360
00:16:08,625 --> 00:16:10,058
Louie.
How's it going?
361
00:16:11,361 --> 00:16:14,062
Robbie, you're pretty fat, too.
362
00:16:14,130 --> 00:16:15,264
Is that all you boys do?
363
00:16:15,331 --> 00:16:16,632
Get fat and die?
364
00:16:19,869 --> 00:16:21,503
Oh, here she comes.
365
00:16:25,108 --> 00:16:26,108
Hi.
366
00:16:34,918 --> 00:16:35,918
Okay, okay.
367
00:16:35,985 --> 00:16:37,586
Can we have a seat, please?
368
00:16:39,155 --> 00:16:43,091
Jasmine, these are my boys,
369
00:16:43,159 --> 00:16:44,693
Louie and Robbie.
370
00:16:44,761 --> 00:16:46,862
Hi, what's up?
371
00:16:46,930 --> 00:16:48,764
Your mom's really cool.
372
00:16:48,831 --> 00:16:49,831
That's great.
373
00:16:49,899 --> 00:16:51,800
That's really great.
374
00:16:51,868 --> 00:16:53,302
Hi.
375
00:16:57,440 --> 00:16:59,408
Can I start you guys off
with a drink?
376
00:16:59,475 --> 00:17:01,677
Yeah, I'll have
a vodka on the rocks.
377
00:17:01,744 --> 00:17:03,245
Oh, perfect, me too.
378
00:17:03,313 --> 00:17:06,181
Just bring him a water, please.
379
00:17:06,249 --> 00:17:08,750
No fun.
380
00:17:08,818 --> 00:17:10,619
Since when did you start
drinking vodka?
381
00:17:10,687 --> 00:17:13,989
Jasmine has been introducing
me to a lot of new things.
382
00:17:14,057 --> 00:17:15,791
She's been very good for me.
383
00:17:17,961 --> 00:17:19,695
So let me get this straight.
384
00:17:19,762 --> 00:17:21,029
My mother's married to a girl
385
00:17:21,097 --> 00:17:23,398
who's younger than me
386
00:17:23,466 --> 00:17:26,501
and way hotter than
any chick I've ever dated
387
00:17:26,569 --> 00:17:28,670
or ever will date in my life.
388
00:17:28,738 --> 00:17:30,339
Robbie.
389
00:17:30,406 --> 00:17:33,141
I would think you'd be
glad for me.
390
00:17:33,209 --> 00:17:36,511
Aren't you happy that your
mother finally found love?
391
00:17:36,579 --> 00:17:39,681
Finally found love?
392
00:17:39,749 --> 00:17:42,551
Mom, I've loved you
my whole life.
393
00:17:42,618 --> 00:17:43,819
That's all I've ever done
394
00:17:43,886 --> 00:17:45,887
is love you,
and you didn't even notice.
395
00:17:47,156 --> 00:17:49,524
Come on, who doesn't
love their mother?
396
00:17:51,461 --> 00:17:53,729
Jasmine loves me for me.
397
00:17:53,796 --> 00:17:55,964
I love you for you.
398
00:17:56,032 --> 00:18:02,137
I love you for you, Ma.
399
00:18:02,205 --> 00:18:04,239
When you said it to me
400
00:18:04,307 --> 00:18:06,742
and I just can't.
401
00:18:06,809 --> 00:18:09,011
Oh, I'm sure I said it.
402
00:18:09,078 --> 00:18:10,312
When, Ma?
403
00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:11,913
When?
404
00:18:11,981 --> 00:18:14,883
I've never felt
your love, ever.
405
00:18:17,186 --> 00:18:19,454
You know what that's like?
406
00:18:19,522 --> 00:18:21,757
Your own mother?
407
00:18:21,824 --> 00:18:23,091
That's why I'm...
408
00:18:23,159 --> 00:18:25,560
My life is just so messed up.
409
00:18:25,628 --> 00:18:27,763
Don't blame me for that.
410
00:18:27,830 --> 00:18:30,098
I'm sure I said "I love you"
411
00:18:30,166 --> 00:18:32,734
somewhere down the line.
412
00:18:32,802 --> 00:18:35,837
So you're saying
you do love me?
413
00:18:35,905 --> 00:18:37,873
Do you love me, Mom?
414
00:18:37,940 --> 00:18:39,241
Stop it!
415
00:18:39,308 --> 00:18:41,276
This is a restaurant.
416
00:18:41,344 --> 00:18:43,178
I asked you a question.
417
00:18:43,246 --> 00:18:46,048
Do... you...
love me, Mom?
418
00:18:46,115 --> 00:18:47,416
Robbie, don't go there.
419
00:18:47,483 --> 00:18:51,153
If you do, if you love me,
just... just tell me.
420
00:18:51,220 --> 00:18:53,889
Robert, I will not be
held hostage like this.
421
00:18:53,956 --> 00:18:57,092
I do not play this game.
422
00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:58,193
Game?
423
00:18:58,261 --> 00:19:00,128
What... what game?
424
00:19:00,196 --> 00:19:01,329
I'm your son.
425
00:19:01,397 --> 00:19:04,099
I'm just asking you
to say that you love me.
426
00:19:04,167 --> 00:19:05,667
What game, Ma?
427
00:19:08,971 --> 00:19:10,272
So you go to...
you go to school?
428
00:19:10,339 --> 00:19:12,374
Ma...
429
00:19:12,442 --> 00:19:15,043
just say it.
430
00:19:15,111 --> 00:19:16,845
Say you love me.
431
00:19:19,949 --> 00:19:22,317
Ma, please, just say it.
432
00:19:24,954 --> 00:19:26,655
Please.
433
00:19:32,995 --> 00:19:33,929
No.
434
00:19:33,996 --> 00:19:35,263
You stay.
435
00:19:46,742 --> 00:19:48,410
This is a total bummer.
436
00:19:53,082 --> 00:19:55,917
I think there's a hell
and I think I'm going.
437
00:19:55,985 --> 00:19:57,953
And... like, a friend of mine
was telling me
438
00:19:58,020 --> 00:19:59,888
about how he
had sex with a hooker
439
00:19:59,956 --> 00:20:01,423
and it turned out to be a guy
440
00:20:01,491 --> 00:20:03,692
and it was, like,
a horrible thing for him
441
00:20:03,759 --> 00:20:05,560
and he had to get over it
with therapy.
442
00:20:05,628 --> 00:20:07,028
And as I'm listening
to this, I realize,
443
00:20:07,096 --> 00:20:10,198
shit, that happened to me, too.
444
00:20:10,266 --> 00:20:12,033
And the upsetting part of it
wasn't that it happened
445
00:20:12,101 --> 00:20:19,608
but that I had forgotten.
446
00:20:19,675 --> 00:20:20,842
Like, oh, yeah, no shit.
447
00:20:20,910 --> 00:20:22,244
I ( bleep ) a guy
once back in Montreal.
448
00:20:22,311 --> 00:20:25,280
I forgot about that.
449
00:21:04,021 --> 00:21:06,021
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450
00:21:06,071 --> 00:21:10,621
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