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♪ Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie ♪
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♪ Louie, Louie Louie, Louaaa ♪
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♪ Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie ♪
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♪ Louie, Louie
you're gonna cry ♪
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♪ Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie ♪
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♪ Louie, Louie Louie, Louaaa ♪
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Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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( audience laughing )
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00:00:50,585 --> 00:00:52,219
( Louie ) You know, I went
to a doctor recently,
10
00:00:52,287 --> 00:00:53,988
he told me to eat slower.
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And I was like, why eat slower?
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And he said because your body
gets full,
13
00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:01,595
but that message
that your body's full
14
00:01:01,663 --> 00:01:05,466
takes 20 minutes to travel from
your stomach to your brain.
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00:01:05,534 --> 00:01:07,835
It takes 20 minutes
before you know
16
00:01:07,903 --> 00:01:10,004
that you've already
been full for 20 minutes.
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First of all, what a douche bag
your body is
18
00:01:13,542 --> 00:01:16,811
that it takes 20 minutes.
19
00:01:16,878 --> 00:01:19,480
What's taking 20 minutes
to get...
20
00:01:19,548 --> 00:01:22,616
If I stub my toe,
I know it immediately
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and that's twice the distance.
22
00:01:25,320 --> 00:01:28,089
What is this message doing
that it's...
23
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It, like, stops at my tit,
"Hey, tit, what's up ?"
24
00:01:30,358 --> 00:01:32,059
"Hanging out,
what are you doing ?"
25
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"I'm going to tell them
that we're full."
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"Get up there, you idiot.
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00:01:35,764 --> 00:01:38,632
We're gonna get huge
if you don't tell 'em."
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"Oh, well, excuse me,
I guess... "
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00:01:46,808 --> 00:01:47,741
My asshole's like...
30
00:01:47,809 --> 00:01:49,777
( blowing raspberry )
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That's how my asshole talks.
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I... I...
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00:01:55,617 --> 00:01:56,817
( woman ) Oh, my God.
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00:01:56,885 --> 00:01:58,752
( laughing )
35
00:01:58,820 --> 00:02:01,122
No, I'm gonna go, if you can.
36
00:02:01,189 --> 00:02:02,490
Seriously.
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00:02:07,796 --> 00:02:09,663
( chuckling )
38
00:02:09,731 --> 00:02:10,865
What?
39
00:02:10,932 --> 00:02:12,500
Hi, could you stop talking?
40
00:02:12,567 --> 00:02:14,335
'Cause you're making it hard
for me to do my job.
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00:02:14,402 --> 00:02:16,537
Oh, okay, sorry.
42
00:02:16,605 --> 00:02:18,305
It's okay, just...
you don't have to be sorry,
43
00:02:18,373 --> 00:02:21,175
just please don't do it
anymore, okay? Okay.
44
00:02:21,243 --> 00:02:22,977
Okay, thank you.
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Anyway.
46
00:02:24,746 --> 00:02:25,779
Holy shit.
47
00:02:25,847 --> 00:02:27,948
Um...
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00:02:28,016 --> 00:02:29,283
Always gets me a little...
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00:02:29,351 --> 00:02:30,818
Sorry.
50
00:02:30,886 --> 00:02:33,187
I was on a plane the other day
and people on planes...
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00:02:33,255 --> 00:02:35,456
You know when you're on
a plane and you're on the Tarmac
52
00:02:35,524 --> 00:02:37,591
and you haven't... but you can't
get to the gate,
53
00:02:37,659 --> 00:02:39,527
'cause there's
a plane at your gate...
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00:02:39,594 --> 00:02:41,395
That's what happened
to Mike the other day.
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Excuse me?
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00:02:42,998 --> 00:02:44,331
No, my...
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Well, my...
My friend...
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00:02:45,834 --> 00:02:47,735
That happened to him, too.
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00:02:47,802 --> 00:02:49,036
I don't care.
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00:02:49,104 --> 00:02:50,304
( audience laughing )
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00:02:50,372 --> 00:02:52,540
Well, no, my friend Mike...
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00:02:52,607 --> 00:02:54,608
Hey, hey, hey, nobody cares
about your friend Mike.
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00:02:54,676 --> 00:02:56,510
Nobody cares
about your friend Mike.
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00:02:56,578 --> 00:02:58,145
Okay, okay.
Nobody cares about your friend Mike.
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00:02:58,213 --> 00:02:59,680
Okay, whatever, it was funny.
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00:02:59,748 --> 00:03:01,882
What was funny?
Unlike you.
67
00:03:01,950 --> 00:03:03,584
I'm sorry?
68
00:03:03,652 --> 00:03:05,853
I said "unlike you."
69
00:03:05,921 --> 00:03:08,055
It was funny, unlike me?
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00:03:08,123 --> 00:03:09,857
Yes, yes, I did.
71
00:03:09,925 --> 00:03:11,825
Can I ask you a question?
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00:03:11,893 --> 00:03:14,028
Go ahead.
73
00:03:14,095 --> 00:03:16,096
What happened to the...
the parade?
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00:03:18,500 --> 00:03:19,833
What parade?
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00:03:19,901 --> 00:03:23,871
The parade of stupid ( bleep )
you were a float in.
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00:03:23,939 --> 00:03:26,040
I'm just curious...
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00:03:26,107 --> 00:03:28,142
Okay, that's not even funny.
It's not?
78
00:03:28,210 --> 00:03:31,212
No.
Okay... you sure?
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00:03:31,279 --> 00:03:33,080
All right.
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00:03:35,550 --> 00:03:37,184
No, you're offensive.
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00:03:37,252 --> 00:03:38,852
I'm offensive?
Yes.
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00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:40,487
What do you mean?
83
00:03:40,555 --> 00:03:42,423
You're making jokes about rape
and that's offensive.
84
00:03:42,490 --> 00:03:44,658
You don't like rape?
85
00:03:44,726 --> 00:03:45,726
No.
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00:03:45,794 --> 00:03:46,961
You don't?
No.
87
00:03:47,028 --> 00:03:49,029
That's really weird because,
88
00:03:49,097 --> 00:03:50,764
you know, that you
wouldn't even exist
89
00:03:50,832 --> 00:03:53,767
if your mom hadn't raped that
homeless Chinese guy.
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00:03:53,835 --> 00:03:55,402
Oh, my God.
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00:03:55,470 --> 00:04:02,076
However many years ago
you were born.
92
00:04:02,143 --> 00:04:04,044
It's harder to come back from that.
But I am sorry.
93
00:04:04,112 --> 00:04:06,814
I don't... I didn't...
94
00:04:06,881 --> 00:04:08,749
I didn't mean that.
95
00:04:11,052 --> 00:04:12,820
Look, can you do me a favor?
96
00:04:12,887 --> 00:04:14,121
What?
97
00:04:14,189 --> 00:04:16,824
Can you please
just die of AIDS?
98
00:04:16,891 --> 00:04:18,826
Does anybody have AIDS who...
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00:04:18,893 --> 00:04:20,828
That could put their dick
in her face
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00:04:20,895 --> 00:04:22,763
and get her started on that?
101
00:04:22,831 --> 00:04:24,164
Anybody?
102
00:04:24,232 --> 00:04:26,200
I could like...
I could sue you.
103
00:04:26,268 --> 00:04:27,601
What, you could sue me?
Yeah.
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00:04:27,669 --> 00:04:29,370
You know who I would
like to sue?
105
00:04:29,437 --> 00:04:31,105
Everybody that
works in the hospital
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00:04:31,172 --> 00:04:33,574
that you were born at,
because...
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00:04:33,642 --> 00:04:35,776
I would like to sue
them for not responsibly
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00:04:35,844 --> 00:04:38,445
pulling your head off
the second...
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00:04:38,513 --> 00:04:42,082
Letting you live...
was medical malpractice.
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00:04:44,219 --> 00:04:46,153
Can you just, like, move on?
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00:04:46,221 --> 00:04:47,955
No, I can't, I really can't,
112
00:04:48,023 --> 00:04:50,924
'cause you're the worst thing
that ever happened in America.
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00:04:50,992 --> 00:04:53,193
You're... seriously,
it goes you...
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00:04:53,261 --> 00:04:56,997
slavery...
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00:04:57,065 --> 00:04:59,566
and then Pearl Harbor
and 9/11 combined.
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00:04:59,634 --> 00:05:02,036
Those are the three.
117
00:05:02,103 --> 00:05:04,104
And so, like, as an American,
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00:05:04,172 --> 00:05:08,475
I feel like it's my duty
to make you feel poorly.
119
00:05:08,543 --> 00:05:10,577
And your mother's a whore.
120
00:05:10,645 --> 00:05:12,546
My mother's dead.
121
00:05:12,614 --> 00:05:13,881
Your mother's dead?
Yeah.
122
00:05:13,948 --> 00:05:15,416
That's good.
123
00:05:15,483 --> 00:05:17,284
It is, it is, you know why?
124
00:05:17,352 --> 00:05:20,788
Because she can't make
any more ( bleep ).
125
00:05:20,855 --> 00:05:24,491
With her ( bleep ).
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00:05:24,559 --> 00:05:26,327
You did not just call me
a "C"-word.
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00:05:26,394 --> 00:05:27,628
What's that?
128
00:05:27,696 --> 00:05:28,996
Did you just
call me a "C"-word?
129
00:05:29,064 --> 00:05:30,964
No, I called you a ( bleep ).
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00:05:31,032 --> 00:05:32,566
Because you're a ( bleep )
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00:05:32,634 --> 00:05:34,902
and your mother is one
and she had one.
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00:05:34,969 --> 00:05:37,571
You know what,
the moment you were being born,
133
00:05:37,639 --> 00:05:39,273
there was a guy walking by,
and you know what he said?
134
00:05:39,341 --> 00:05:40,941
He said, "Hey, look!
135
00:05:41,009 --> 00:05:43,077
Some ( bleep ) coming out
of some ( bleeps ) !"
136
00:05:54,055 --> 00:05:55,289
Hey, man.
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00:05:55,357 --> 00:05:57,224
That woman was
a nightmare in there.
138
00:05:57,292 --> 00:05:59,259
( man ) The one who looked like
the Fox News anchor? Yeah.
139
00:05:59,327 --> 00:06:00,728
Oh, she will not stop.
140
00:06:00,795 --> 00:06:02,963
The whole night, she's been
yelling out and stuff?
141
00:06:03,031 --> 00:06:04,798
She wasn't so aggressive
at first,
142
00:06:04,866 --> 00:06:06,367
but I think
she's getting encouraged
143
00:06:06,434 --> 00:06:08,435
and it's building now.
Yeah, but, you know...
144
00:06:08,503 --> 00:06:10,537
I'm joking.
145
00:06:10,605 --> 00:06:13,574
That was totally uncalled for.
146
00:06:13,641 --> 00:06:18,779
Actually, no, it wasn't.
147
00:06:18,847 --> 00:06:20,481
Oh, I was participating.
148
00:06:20,548 --> 00:06:22,249
I'm allowed to participate.
149
00:06:22,317 --> 00:06:24,651
Then why were you
the only one participating?
150
00:06:24,719 --> 00:06:26,320
Just think about that
for a second.
151
00:06:26,388 --> 00:06:28,122
Why was it just you?
152
00:06:28,189 --> 00:06:29,957
You know why, 'cause most
people would never do that.
153
00:06:30,024 --> 00:06:32,192
Most people are polite,
154
00:06:32,260 --> 00:06:33,894
and they'd rather
cut off their hand
155
00:06:33,962 --> 00:06:35,896
than hurt a show by talking.
156
00:06:35,964 --> 00:06:37,931
That's what...
a good person wouldn't do that,
157
00:06:37,999 --> 00:06:39,166
so you must be a bad person.
158
00:06:39,234 --> 00:06:41,335
No, I'm not.
159
00:06:41,403 --> 00:06:43,137
Yeah, I think you are.
160
00:06:43,204 --> 00:06:45,439
No, I'm a good person.
161
00:06:45,507 --> 00:06:46,540
Why?
162
00:06:46,608 --> 00:06:48,409
Why do you think
you're a good person?
163
00:06:48,443 --> 00:06:50,544
I just am,
I know I'm a good person
164
00:06:50,612 --> 00:06:53,414
and you have no right to
talk to me like that.
165
00:06:53,481 --> 00:06:55,082
Actually, I do,
that's the whole thing.
166
00:06:55,150 --> 00:06:57,050
That's how that room works,
I have a right to talk.
167
00:06:57,118 --> 00:06:58,819
I'm actually paid to talk
in there
168
00:06:58,887 --> 00:07:00,721
and to say stuff
and people laugh.
169
00:07:00,789 --> 00:07:03,090
You're not supposed
to say anything... it's a show.
170
00:07:03,158 --> 00:07:04,525
Oh, my God, get over yourself.
171
00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:06,427
I mean, people come to these
shows and they talk,
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00:07:06,494 --> 00:07:08,095
that's what they do.
173
00:07:08,163 --> 00:07:09,963
And it's your job
to put up with it,
174
00:07:10,031 --> 00:07:11,632
or learn how to deal
with it at least.
175
00:07:11,699 --> 00:07:13,300
I mean, why are you
being such a baby?
176
00:07:13,368 --> 00:07:15,536
Okay, look,
let me ask you a question.
177
00:07:15,603 --> 00:07:17,538
Do you like your life?
178
00:07:17,605 --> 00:07:19,039
Yes, so?
179
00:07:19,107 --> 00:07:20,674
No, I'm sure you do.
180
00:07:20,742 --> 00:07:23,076
You're a student, you're happy,
you have good days
181
00:07:23,144 --> 00:07:26,146
and you have full
and fun nights, right?
182
00:07:26,214 --> 00:07:28,682
Yes, I'm not a loser like you.
183
00:07:28,750 --> 00:07:30,584
Yeah, see,
that's the whole point.
184
00:07:30,652 --> 00:07:32,786
You have a good life and it's
just the way you want it to be,
185
00:07:32,854 --> 00:07:34,822
these guys, comedians, me,
186
00:07:34,889 --> 00:07:36,757
these guys don't have a life.
187
00:07:36,825 --> 00:07:38,325
This is all they have.
188
00:07:38,393 --> 00:07:40,461
Their days are shit.
189
00:07:40,528 --> 00:07:42,362
They don't have many friends,
they don't have families.
190
00:07:42,430 --> 00:07:44,164
They have this.
191
00:07:44,232 --> 00:07:46,066
The only good part
of their lives
192
00:07:46,134 --> 00:07:48,035
is the 15 minutes that
they get to be onstage,
193
00:07:48,102 --> 00:07:51,004
maybe once a week,
sometimes once a month.
194
00:07:51,072 --> 00:07:53,540
And you took that 15 minutes,
the one...
195
00:07:53,608 --> 00:07:56,076
Just picture this,
the one 15 minutes
196
00:07:56,144 --> 00:07:58,679
that they would've had that
they would have enjoyed,
197
00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:01,448
maybe for a long time,
and you ruined it.
198
00:08:01,516 --> 00:08:04,251
You took that away from them.
199
00:08:04,319 --> 00:08:06,086
I know you think it's cute,
but it's not.
200
00:08:06,154 --> 00:08:07,721
It's really...
201
00:08:07,789 --> 00:08:09,656
It's a rotten thing to do.
202
00:08:09,724 --> 00:08:12,860
And I don't know how you can
think you're a good person
203
00:08:12,927 --> 00:08:15,229
if you do things like that.
204
00:08:15,296 --> 00:08:17,331
Honestly, I think you should
be ashamed of yourself.
205
00:08:17,398 --> 00:08:20,701
I really do.
206
00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:24,204
You have no right
to make me feel like that.
207
00:08:24,272 --> 00:08:26,974
I did nothing tonight,
208
00:08:27,041 --> 00:08:29,910
and you were just gross
and insulting.
209
00:08:29,978 --> 00:08:35,349
You're just one of those unattractive people
who is just bitter against people like me.
210
00:08:35,416 --> 00:08:38,085
That's right, that's right.
211
00:08:38,152 --> 00:08:39,653
You're right.
212
00:08:39,721 --> 00:08:41,388
That's what happened,
that's exactly what happened.
213
00:08:41,456 --> 00:08:42,956
Thank you very much.
214
00:08:43,024 --> 00:08:44,458
Good night, good night.
215
00:08:44,526 --> 00:08:46,126
Good night, good night.
216
00:08:48,663 --> 00:08:50,797
Man.
217
00:08:50,865 --> 00:08:53,901
You had a shot up 'til
you did that last thing.
218
00:08:53,968 --> 00:08:55,335
You think?
219
00:08:55,403 --> 00:08:57,604
Yeah, you could have
turned that around.
220
00:08:57,672 --> 00:08:59,006
Shit.
221
00:08:59,073 --> 00:09:00,574
She was about to feel bad.
222
00:09:00,642 --> 00:09:02,609
You could be going to get
a drink with her right now.
223
00:09:02,677 --> 00:09:04,545
She'd probably pay for
the drink, too.
224
00:09:04,612 --> 00:09:05,812
Shit.
225
00:09:14,076 --> 00:09:15,076
Hey, Laurie.
226
00:09:15,084 --> 00:09:15,951
Hey, you here to see Simon?
227
00:09:16,079 --> 00:09:17,480
Yeah, yeah,
he asked me to come in.
228
00:09:17,547 --> 00:09:19,582
Okay, well, he's finishing up
a conference call.
229
00:09:19,649 --> 00:09:22,451
Do you want to sit for a minute?
Sure.
230
00:09:22,519 --> 00:09:25,554
You know,
we never see you here.
231
00:09:25,622 --> 00:09:28,257
Oh, yeah, well, I don't go out
for the acting much anymore.
232
00:09:28,625 --> 00:09:30,793
Oh, how come?
233
00:09:30,860 --> 00:09:32,561
I don't know,
I'm not a good actor.
234
00:09:32,629 --> 00:09:34,062
Oh, don't say that.
235
00:09:34,130 --> 00:09:36,031
No, it's okay,
I'm just not good at it.
236
00:09:36,099 --> 00:09:37,599
That's really "neg."
237
00:09:37,667 --> 00:09:39,535
What?
238
00:09:39,602 --> 00:09:41,203
It's really negative.
239
00:09:41,271 --> 00:09:42,571
Oh, okay, I didn't know,
240
00:09:42,639 --> 00:09:44,506
'cause you only used
the first three letters.
241
00:09:44,574 --> 00:09:46,542
Yeah, I just think
you have to go for it.
242
00:09:46,609 --> 00:09:48,844
How do you know you're not
the next Tom Cruise?
243
00:09:48,912 --> 00:09:50,612
Because I just hate it,
244
00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:53,382
standing there in
fake clothes and acting.
245
00:09:53,450 --> 00:09:55,284
It just feels stupid, but...
246
00:09:55,351 --> 00:09:57,286
Yeah, but if that's
your dream...
247
00:09:57,353 --> 00:09:58,854
See, it's not my dream,
though, Laurie.
248
00:09:58,922 --> 00:10:00,622
To be an actor,
249
00:10:00,690 --> 00:10:03,559
the odds are so low
that it's like saying
250
00:10:03,626 --> 00:10:06,795
I'm gonna be a cartoon dog
with a jetpack.
251
00:10:06,863 --> 00:10:08,831
That's what I'm gonna do.
252
00:10:08,898 --> 00:10:10,966
I mean, that has just gotta be
253
00:10:11,034 --> 00:10:13,669
the dumbest,
most irresponsible,
254
00:10:13,736 --> 00:10:16,371
stupid, stupid thing
255
00:10:16,439 --> 00:10:18,106
to want to be an actor.
256
00:10:18,174 --> 00:10:20,142
I'm trying to be an actor.
257
00:10:24,547 --> 00:10:26,215
( phone ringing )
258
00:10:26,282 --> 00:10:27,683
Yes, he's here.
259
00:10:38,795 --> 00:10:40,629
Listen, I...
260
00:10:40,697 --> 00:10:42,297
I didn't...
261
00:10:45,735 --> 00:10:47,736
I didn't...
I meant that...
262
00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:52,875
You know, I just meant,
good luck, you know?
263
00:10:52,942 --> 00:10:54,309
I mean...
264
00:10:58,648 --> 00:11:00,582
Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi!
265
00:11:00,650 --> 00:11:02,150
Hey, Simon.
266
00:11:02,218 --> 00:11:04,052
For crying out loud, how are you?
I'm okay.
267
00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:05,354
Hi.
Hey.
268
00:11:05,421 --> 00:11:07,155
Long time no see.
269
00:11:07,223 --> 00:11:09,191
No, I know,
I just haven't been around.
270
00:11:09,259 --> 00:11:12,661
Listen, sit down, 'cause
I got incredible news.
271
00:11:12,729 --> 00:11:14,062
Yeah?
272
00:11:14,130 --> 00:11:17,132
Louie... Louie.
273
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:19,301
Hey, Simon.
274
00:11:19,369 --> 00:11:23,639
I got you a part in
"The Godfather."
275
00:11:23,706 --> 00:11:25,874
You mean another sequel?
276
00:11:25,942 --> 00:11:27,309
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
277
00:11:27,377 --> 00:11:29,111
Somebody bought
the rights again
278
00:11:29,178 --> 00:11:31,280
and they're making
another "Godfather,"
279
00:11:31,347 --> 00:11:33,882
but it's set two years
into the future
280
00:11:33,950 --> 00:11:36,785
and it's all Jews.
281
00:11:36,853 --> 00:11:38,453
Oh, my God.
282
00:11:38,521 --> 00:11:41,356
I know, and I got you
a part in it!
283
00:11:41,424 --> 00:11:44,192
I got you a part!
284
00:11:44,260 --> 00:11:46,094
Listen, Simon.
285
00:11:46,162 --> 00:11:48,130
Yeah, yeah, I know you.
286
00:11:48,197 --> 00:11:51,199
No auditions, no acting.
287
00:11:51,267 --> 00:11:54,870
But this, you don't even
have to read for it.
288
00:11:54,938 --> 00:11:56,572
You know what happened?
289
00:11:56,639 --> 00:11:58,574
Matthew Broderick,
290
00:11:58,641 --> 00:12:01,543
who is starring
and directing in this,
291
00:12:01,611 --> 00:12:04,746
he saw you on television
and he personally called
292
00:12:04,814 --> 00:12:07,382
and wanted you to have
this part.
293
00:12:07,450 --> 00:12:09,384
You play a cop.
294
00:12:09,452 --> 00:12:11,587
You're in about five scenes.
295
00:12:11,654 --> 00:12:14,056
And they're all
about your character.
296
00:12:14,123 --> 00:12:16,658
It's huge!
297
00:12:16,726 --> 00:12:18,560
Listen, Simon, I appreciate...
298
00:12:18,628 --> 00:12:20,462
You're not saying no to this.
299
00:12:20,530 --> 00:12:22,197
Well...
You're not!
300
00:12:22,265 --> 00:12:24,166
Well...
This is not a "no"!
301
00:12:24,233 --> 00:12:26,201
I told them you're doing it!
302
00:12:26,269 --> 00:12:28,003
I said yes!
303
00:12:28,071 --> 00:12:30,339
Well, you may have to
call 'em back. No!
304
00:12:30,406 --> 00:12:32,207
You gotta call 'em back.
You're doing it!
305
00:12:32,275 --> 00:12:35,944
Simon...
You're doing it!
306
00:12:36,012 --> 00:12:37,846
Listen, Simon...
307
00:12:37,914 --> 00:12:39,781
You're doing it!
308
00:12:39,849 --> 00:12:42,517
Simon, look, I...
( wheezing )
309
00:12:42,585 --> 00:12:45,120
I came to you because
I'm a comedian
310
00:12:45,188 --> 00:12:50,525
and everybody tells you
that if you're onstage,
311
00:12:50,593 --> 00:12:52,861
I appreciate everything
you've done for me.
312
00:12:52,929 --> 00:12:54,429
You've been great,
313
00:12:54,497 --> 00:12:57,299
and you got me that
Martin Lawrence movie.
314
00:12:57,367 --> 00:12:59,134
Simon.
315
00:12:59,202 --> 00:13:00,636
Simon?
316
00:13:00,703 --> 00:13:02,871
Simon?
317
00:13:02,939 --> 00:13:04,806
( woman crying )
318
00:13:13,783 --> 00:13:15,450
Oh, Louie.
319
00:13:15,518 --> 00:13:17,319
Hey, Joan, I'm sorry.
320
00:13:17,387 --> 00:13:18,987
He loved you.
321
00:13:19,055 --> 00:13:21,590
You were his favorite client.
322
00:13:21,658 --> 00:13:23,291
Really?
323
00:13:25,495 --> 00:13:27,029
Sorry.
324
00:13:36,339 --> 00:13:38,006
Hey, Laurie.
325
00:13:38,074 --> 00:13:40,976
Are you gonna take that part
in "The Godfather"?
326
00:13:41,044 --> 00:13:42,778
I don't know.
327
00:13:42,845 --> 00:13:45,914
He was so happy
he got that for you.
328
00:13:45,982 --> 00:13:47,416
You should do it.
329
00:13:47,483 --> 00:13:48,884
For him.
Okay.
330
00:13:48,951 --> 00:13:50,419
I'll see you later, okay?
331
00:13:56,859 --> 00:13:58,493
Like this?
332
00:14:01,431 --> 00:14:03,331
So, Matthew,
this is Louie C.K.
333
00:14:03,399 --> 00:14:05,534
Hi.
Oh, hi, hi.
334
00:14:05,601 --> 00:14:06,868
Nice to meet you.
335
00:14:06,936 --> 00:14:08,437
How you doing?
336
00:14:08,504 --> 00:14:10,138
Good, thank you very much
for... Oh, yeah, yeah.
337
00:14:10,206 --> 00:14:11,473
I saw you on one of those
late-night shows.
338
00:14:11,541 --> 00:14:13,241
You're really funny.
339
00:14:13,309 --> 00:14:14,576
Thanks, thank you.
340
00:14:14,644 --> 00:14:16,311
This isn't funny,
341
00:14:16,379 --> 00:14:18,346
but I had an idea
that you'd be good at it.
342
00:14:18,414 --> 00:14:20,615
Thank you.
343
00:14:20,683 --> 00:14:22,117
You excited?
344
00:14:22,185 --> 00:14:24,619
Sure, yeah, it's great.
345
00:14:27,156 --> 00:14:28,690
Am I... Can I just ask you
a question?
346
00:14:28,758 --> 00:14:31,259
Am I one of the...
am I one of the Jews?
347
00:14:31,327 --> 00:14:33,495
What?
348
00:14:33,563 --> 00:14:36,064
Am I...
Am I one of the...
349
00:14:36,132 --> 00:14:38,500
I'll see you out there.
Okay.
350
00:14:38,568 --> 00:14:40,268
I thought it was all Jews.
351
00:14:46,676 --> 00:14:48,410
You... you can't
go in there.
352
00:14:48,478 --> 00:14:50,278
Where's my father?
353
00:14:50,346 --> 00:14:51,713
Your father is dead.
354
00:14:57,587 --> 00:14:59,521
Is that seriously
how you're gonna say it?
355
00:14:59,589 --> 00:15:01,456
What?
356
00:15:01,524 --> 00:15:03,524
Cut, cut.
357
00:15:07,997 --> 00:15:09,831
Look, you're telling me
that my father is dead.
358
00:15:09,899 --> 00:15:11,199
Uh-huh.
359
00:15:11,267 --> 00:15:13,335
How do you tell somebody
something like that?
360
00:15:13,402 --> 00:15:15,971
Pretend my father's dead.
361
00:15:16,038 --> 00:15:19,441
Your... your father
or the character's father?
362
00:15:19,509 --> 00:15:21,276
Is your father dead?
Let's just try again.
363
00:15:21,344 --> 00:15:23,178
Okay.
Okay.
364
00:15:23,246 --> 00:15:24,746
I'm sorry, I'm really sorry.
It's okay, don't say you're sorry.
365
00:15:24,814 --> 00:15:25,981
Okay, okay.
It's okay.
366
00:15:26,048 --> 00:15:28,617
Okay, let's go again,
we'll go again.
367
00:15:28,684 --> 00:15:30,552
I'm sorry.
Okay?
368
00:15:35,558 --> 00:15:37,125
You can't go in there.
369
00:15:37,193 --> 00:15:38,627
Where's my father?
370
00:15:38,694 --> 00:15:40,228
Your father is dead.
371
00:15:48,471 --> 00:15:50,272
What the hell is that?
372
00:15:50,339 --> 00:15:52,541
What?
That face.
373
00:15:52,608 --> 00:15:54,309
I didn't...
Cut.
374
00:15:54,377 --> 00:15:55,710
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
375
00:15:55,778 --> 00:15:57,179
No, cut, it's okay.
376
00:15:57,246 --> 00:15:58,780
I thought that it was
the way that I said,
377
00:15:58,848 --> 00:16:00,348
"Your father's dead... "
378
00:16:00,416 --> 00:16:02,150
No, let's just go again,
we'll go again.
379
00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:05,987
You can't go in there.
380
00:16:06,055 --> 00:16:07,422
Where's my father?
381
00:16:07,490 --> 00:16:09,858
Oh, your father's dead.
382
00:16:09,926 --> 00:16:11,593
Ugh, cut.
383
00:16:11,661 --> 00:16:13,495
I'm sorry, what did...
384
00:16:13,563 --> 00:16:15,363
That wasn't good, either?
385
00:16:15,431 --> 00:16:17,232
You can't go in there.
Where's my father?
386
00:16:17,300 --> 00:16:18,834
He's dead!
387
00:16:18,901 --> 00:16:20,235
Well...
388
00:16:20,303 --> 00:16:21,603
Oh, oh.
389
00:16:21,671 --> 00:16:23,004
I forgot to say it was your father.
Yeah.
390
00:16:23,072 --> 00:16:24,573
So you don't know
who I'm talking about.
391
00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:26,208
Yeah, it helps if you say that.
Okay, I'll do it again.
392
00:16:26,275 --> 00:16:28,310
You can't go in there.
Where's my father?
393
00:16:28,377 --> 00:16:30,445
Your father's dead.
394
00:16:30,513 --> 00:16:31,713
Where's my father?
395
00:16:31,781 --> 00:16:34,249
Your father is dead.
396
00:16:34,317 --> 00:16:35,884
That wasn't good, right?
397
00:16:35,952 --> 00:16:37,252
No, no.
398
00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:39,054
I really have to imagine
that your father's dead?
399
00:16:39,121 --> 00:16:40,455
Yeah.
Okay.
400
00:16:40,523 --> 00:16:42,023
Right, you're telling somebody
his father's dead.
401
00:16:42,091 --> 00:16:43,825
That's why you say,
"Your father's dead."
402
00:16:45,828 --> 00:16:48,697
Your father's dead.
403
00:16:48,764 --> 00:16:50,866
I don't know anybody
whose father died
404
00:16:50,933 --> 00:16:52,167
that I was supposed to tell them.
Yeah, right.
405
00:16:52,235 --> 00:16:53,902
I never did that before.
406
00:16:56,005 --> 00:16:57,539
You can't go in there.
407
00:16:57,607 --> 00:16:58,974
Where's my father?
408
00:16:59,041 --> 00:17:00,609
Your father's dead.
409
00:17:22,199 --> 00:17:24,467
You... How did you get...
You get the train here...
410
00:17:25,534 --> 00:17:27,035
We'll go again.
411
00:17:27,103 --> 00:17:28,904
Are you...
412
00:17:28,971 --> 00:17:30,639
We'll go again, we'll go again.
No, I...
413
00:17:43,686 --> 00:17:45,220
Hey.
Hey.
414
00:17:45,288 --> 00:17:47,188
Hey, hey, I'm really sorry
about how it's going.
415
00:17:47,256 --> 00:17:49,090
That's okay, that's okay.
416
00:17:49,158 --> 00:17:51,793
So what is it, are you nervous?
417
00:17:51,861 --> 00:17:54,129
Not really.
418
00:17:54,196 --> 00:17:56,564
What then?
419
00:17:56,632 --> 00:17:59,200
I just don't like acting.
420
00:17:59,268 --> 00:18:02,070
I'm not good at it
and I don't like it.
421
00:18:02,138 --> 00:18:03,972
Look...
422
00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:06,141
Look, maybe you
don't like acting.
423
00:18:06,208 --> 00:18:08,143
That's not my business.
424
00:18:08,210 --> 00:18:10,445
But try and respect
other people's work.
425
00:18:10,513 --> 00:18:12,247
We're gonna move on
426
00:18:12,315 --> 00:18:14,449
and then we'll come back
and shoot your scene.
427
00:18:14,517 --> 00:18:16,851
And why don't you take a walk
and try to find it in yourself
428
00:18:16,919 --> 00:18:19,120
to give a shit?
429
00:18:44,153 --> 00:18:45,854
"Your father is dead."
430
00:18:53,162 --> 00:18:55,396
You can't just charge
whatever you want for things.
431
00:18:55,464 --> 00:18:57,665
And last week, this can
of soup was $1.30,
432
00:18:57,733 --> 00:18:59,967
now you're asking $2.
433
00:19:00,035 --> 00:19:01,969
What, do you make it up
as you go along?
434
00:19:02,037 --> 00:19:05,573
Hey, do you have cake-y,
doughnut-y treat things?
435
00:19:05,641 --> 00:19:07,375
Yeah, in the back.
Thank you.
436
00:19:07,442 --> 00:19:09,677
This is supposed to be
a business with set prices.
437
00:19:09,745 --> 00:19:10,878
You know what?
438
00:19:10,946 --> 00:19:12,647
I think I'm gonna have
dinner out.
439
00:19:12,714 --> 00:19:14,348
Forget that, I don't
want that soup anyway,
440
00:19:14,416 --> 00:19:15,917
it's too expensive.
441
00:19:15,984 --> 00:19:17,185
And, oh, I would like...
442
00:19:17,252 --> 00:19:19,420
( cat meowing )
443
00:19:19,488 --> 00:19:21,722
What's the matter, pal?
444
00:19:21,790 --> 00:19:23,191
( cat meowing )
445
00:19:23,258 --> 00:19:24,659
What you doing?
446
00:19:24,726 --> 00:19:26,494
Meow, meow.
447
00:19:26,562 --> 00:19:28,162
Meow.
448
00:19:28,230 --> 00:19:29,630
Meow.
449
00:19:29,698 --> 00:19:32,767
Meow, meow, meow.
450
00:19:32,835 --> 00:19:34,769
Oh... meow, meow.
451
00:19:34,837 --> 00:19:36,003
Please explain it to me.
452
00:19:36,071 --> 00:19:38,039
Why would you charge
a fat man more money
453
00:19:38,106 --> 00:19:39,440
than you would a pretty girl?
454
00:19:39,508 --> 00:19:40,975
( bleating )
455
00:19:41,043 --> 00:19:42,844
( mooing )
456
00:19:42,911 --> 00:19:44,078
( blowing raspberry )
457
00:19:44,146 --> 00:19:45,680
Bah!
458
00:19:45,747 --> 00:19:47,648
I'm gonna do all my
business elsewhere.
459
00:19:47,716 --> 00:19:49,183
I'm going to
the big supermarket.
460
00:19:49,251 --> 00:19:51,953
You know, you can phone them
now, they deliver.
461
00:19:52,020 --> 00:19:53,855
Of course,
you have to buy a lot.
462
00:19:53,922 --> 00:19:55,756
So just pack it all up.
463
00:19:55,824 --> 00:19:57,258
Give me a lot of plastic bags.
464
00:19:57,326 --> 00:19:59,026
I use them for garbage
and all that sort of thing.
465
00:19:59,094 --> 00:20:00,695
Don't move, man!
( screaming )
466
00:20:00,762 --> 00:20:02,663
Give us the cash,
give us the cash!
467
00:20:02,731 --> 00:20:05,233
Help!
468
00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:07,101
Oh, shit!
469
00:20:07,169 --> 00:20:08,836
Do something!
470
00:20:16,445 --> 00:20:18,546
Drop it!
471
00:20:22,351 --> 00:20:24,385
Oh, Jesus.
472
00:20:24,453 --> 00:20:26,053
Oh, shit!
473
00:20:26,121 --> 00:20:28,956
They don't give you guys
real guns?
474
00:20:29,024 --> 00:20:31,492
Yo, yo, shoot that bitch!
475
00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:33,527
Mama!
476
00:20:33,595 --> 00:20:35,129
Hurry up, man, shoot him!
477
00:20:37,165 --> 00:20:39,100
Mine ain't real, either.
478
00:20:39,167 --> 00:20:40,635
What?
479
00:20:40,702 --> 00:20:48,876
It's my little brother's,
man... it's a toy.
480
00:20:48,944 --> 00:20:50,978
Oh, my God,
you get out of here!
481
00:20:51,046 --> 00:20:53,381
Get out of here!
482
00:20:56,051 --> 00:20:57,485
Some help you were.
483
00:20:57,552 --> 00:20:58,853
Some cop...
484
00:20:58,921 --> 00:20:59,820
Sorry, I...
485
00:21:12,184 --> 00:21:13,618
( Louie )
Do it like this, when...
486
00:21:13,686 --> 00:21:15,153
Just say it.
487
00:21:15,221 --> 00:21:16,454
Instead of like exclaiming it,
just say it.
488
00:21:16,522 --> 00:21:18,189
Go ahead.
489
00:21:18,257 --> 00:21:19,424
Oh, my God.
490
00:21:19,492 --> 00:21:20,792
That was great.
491
00:21:20,860 --> 00:21:22,193
Was that real?
Did you believe it?
492
00:21:22,261 --> 00:21:23,962
Yeah, that was good,
that was good.
493
00:21:24,029 --> 00:21:25,330
Say it... say it,
instead of at me,
494
00:21:25,398 --> 00:21:26,998
say it to yourself this time.
495
00:21:27,066 --> 00:21:28,666
The same way,
just declare, saying it.
496
00:21:28,734 --> 00:21:29,667
Go.
497
00:21:29,735 --> 00:21:31,169
Oh, my God.
498
00:21:35,074 --> 00:21:38,176
It's getting there,
it's getting there.
499
00:21:38,244 --> 00:21:39,778
I have all night, so.
500
00:21:39,845 --> 00:21:41,212
Yeah, okay.
501
00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:42,781
You know what, I'm really...
502
00:21:42,848 --> 00:21:44,582
I'm really sorry.
503
00:21:44,650 --> 00:21:54,318
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
504
00:21:54,368 --> 00:21:58,918
Repair and Synchronization by
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