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1
00:00:05,013 --> 00:00:06,950
You know, sometimes sex is like
2
00:00:07,018 --> 00:00:09,287
such a confusing thing
in my life.
3
00:00:09,356 --> 00:00:13,028
Listen, sex seems very
complicated and confusing,
4
00:00:13,095 --> 00:00:14,830
but it's very simple.
5
00:00:14,898 --> 00:00:16,733
The man takes his penis,
6
00:00:16,801 --> 00:00:19,004
puts it into a woman's vagina,
7
00:00:19,071 --> 00:00:21,241
he ejaculates and she dies.
8
00:00:24,747 --> 00:00:26,649
She dies?
9
00:00:26,717 --> 00:00:28,351
Oh, no, I was thinking
of something else.
10
00:00:28,419 --> 00:00:30,053
That's...
11
00:00:42,803 --> 00:00:47,408
♪ Louie, Louie, Le, Louie ♪
12
00:00:47,476 --> 00:00:52,012
♪ Louie, Louie, Louie louaaa ♪
13
00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:56,786
♪ Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie ♪
14
00:00:56,854 --> 00:01:01,227
♪ Louie, Louie
you're gonna cry ♪
15
00:01:01,294 --> 00:01:06,033
♪ Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie ♪
16
00:01:06,101 --> 00:01:10,504
♪ Louie, Louie, Louie louaaa ♪
17
00:01:10,505 --> 00:01:20,505
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
18
00:01:22,686 --> 00:01:24,755
( audience laughing )
19
00:01:24,823 --> 00:01:27,524
I guess I feel like
I should go out and get laid,
20
00:01:27,592 --> 00:01:29,959
but I don't have sex drive,
really.
21
00:01:30,027 --> 00:01:31,427
I have...
22
00:01:31,494 --> 00:01:33,595
It's not sex drive...
I have sex...
23
00:01:33,662 --> 00:01:36,664
Just sit in the car
and hope someone gets in.
24
00:01:36,732 --> 00:01:39,567
There's not really...
it's not drive.
25
00:01:50,113 --> 00:01:52,280
Hi.
26
00:01:52,348 --> 00:01:54,683
I just wanted to say I
thought you were really funny.
27
00:01:54,751 --> 00:01:56,852
Wow, thank you,
thanks very much.
28
00:01:56,920 --> 00:01:58,487
I was listening
to what Louie said
29
00:01:58,555 --> 00:02:00,322
about younger girls, though.
30
00:02:00,390 --> 00:02:01,857
Uh-huh.
31
00:02:01,925 --> 00:02:04,426
Well, it's not true,
not for all of us.
32
00:02:04,494 --> 00:02:06,195
Oh, yeah, how's that?
33
00:02:06,263 --> 00:02:07,963
Well, I'm really turned on
by older guys.
34
00:02:17,307 --> 00:02:19,041
You are?
Sure.
35
00:02:21,211 --> 00:02:22,711
How old are you?
36
00:02:22,779 --> 00:02:25,181
26.
37
00:02:25,248 --> 00:02:26,816
That turns you on, doesn't it?
38
00:02:26,883 --> 00:02:28,884
Just the number.
39
00:02:31,021 --> 00:02:34,657
Can I ask you...
Why do you like older guys?
40
00:02:34,724 --> 00:02:36,525
I don't know.
41
00:02:36,593 --> 00:02:39,028
Guys my age just suck.
42
00:02:39,095 --> 00:02:40,830
They all think
they're so great.
43
00:02:40,897 --> 00:02:43,165
They have all this
annoying energy,
44
00:02:43,233 --> 00:02:46,035
and they're all pink
and smooth like a baby.
45
00:02:46,102 --> 00:02:47,970
Eww.
46
00:02:48,038 --> 00:02:50,939
Yeah, I guess I... but older
guys are just relaxed.
47
00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:53,742
I mean, you've given up,
which makes you grounded.
48
00:02:53,810 --> 00:02:56,445
Your skin is all loose
and a little dry.
49
00:02:56,546 --> 00:02:58,180
And you smell weirdo
50
00:03:00,650 --> 00:03:02,183
we smell weird
51
00:03:02,251 --> 00:03:03,718
totally... do you mind?
52
00:03:08,123 --> 00:03:11,392
Mmm, yeah... you smell.
53
00:03:11,460 --> 00:03:13,127
Like what?
54
00:03:13,195 --> 00:03:16,097
I don't know, like...
55
00:03:16,165 --> 00:03:18,065
Dying?
56
00:03:18,133 --> 00:03:20,301
It's sexy.
57
00:03:20,369 --> 00:03:22,970
Well, you smell nice, too.
58
00:03:23,038 --> 00:03:25,306
Well, yeah,
young pussy smells good.
59
00:03:28,810 --> 00:03:30,377
Holy shit.
60
00:03:30,445 --> 00:03:31,979
I know.
61
00:03:32,046 --> 00:03:33,547
You've hit the jackpot, right?
62
00:03:38,386 --> 00:03:41,254
Listen, this is
the greatest thing
63
00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:43,622
that e to me, clearly,
64
00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:45,723
but I don't know about
65
00:03:45,791 --> 00:03:47,225
being in a relationship
with a younger...
66
00:03:47,292 --> 00:03:49,693
Relationship ? Eww.
67
00:03:49,727 --> 00:03:51,927
Who said anything about that?
68
00:03:51,995 --> 00:03:53,829
Here you are...
can we go?
69
00:03:56,231 --> 00:03:57,630
Oh, baby.
70
00:03:57,698 --> 00:03:59,032
Yeah.
71
00:03:59,099 --> 00:04:00,366
Oh...
72
00:04:00,434 --> 00:04:02,902
Oh, my God, you're so old.
73
00:04:02,970 --> 00:04:04,804
What?
74
00:04:04,871 --> 00:04:07,639
You're so old,
you're so goddamn old.
75
00:04:07,707 --> 00:04:09,274
Yeah, I'm pretty old.
76
00:04:09,342 --> 00:04:10,675
Tell me.
77
00:04:10,743 --> 00:04:12,376
Tell me how old you are.
78
00:04:12,444 --> 00:04:14,078
I'm 42.
Oh...
79
00:04:14,146 --> 00:04:15,780
I'm almost 43.
80
00:04:15,847 --> 00:04:17,481
Oh!
81
00:04:17,548 --> 00:04:19,316
I was born in 1967.
82
00:04:19,383 --> 00:04:21,617
Oh, God, that's cry old!
83
00:04:21,685 --> 00:04:23,552
I remember going to movies
when it cost $3.
84
00:04:23,620 --> 00:04:25,454
Oh, shit, yeah!
85
00:04:25,521 --> 00:04:27,723
I remember smoking
on airplanes.
86
00:04:27,790 --> 00:04:30,025
Oh, shit, that's so long ago!
87
00:04:30,092 --> 00:04:31,993
I had a vein removed
from my leg year.
88
00:04:32,061 --> 00:04:33,961
Yes, so did my mom...
don't stop!
89
00:04:34,029 --> 00:04:35,696
I voted for Mike Dukakis.
90
00:04:35,763 --> 00:04:37,130
Oh!
91
00:04:37,198 --> 00:04:38,599
Who the hell is that?
92
00:04:38,667 --> 00:04:40,501
I'm older than
any baseball player,
93
00:04:40,569 --> 00:04:42,303
except Jamie Moyer, I think.
94
00:04:42,370 --> 00:04:43,670
He's still playing
for the Phillies.
95
00:04:43,738 --> 00:04:46,640
Oh, oh... oh!
96
00:04:51,612 --> 00:04:53,412
Should I call you, or...?
97
00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:54,646
Nope.
98
00:04:54,714 --> 00:04:56,548
That was great, though, thanks.
99
00:04:59,618 --> 00:05:01,051
Okay.
100
00:05:03,321 --> 00:05:05,688
Sex drive has to come
from somewhere,
101
00:05:05,756 --> 00:05:07,824
and it's not just about sex.
102
00:05:07,892 --> 00:05:09,659
Sex has something behind it
and it's weird,
103
00:05:09,727 --> 00:05:11,294
'cause we ignore it.
104
00:05:11,362 --> 00:05:12,963
Sex is reallying
to get somewhere.
105
00:05:13,030 --> 00:05:14,965
E it's... it's trying
to have a family.
106
00:05:15,032 --> 00:05:17,300
You don't really
wanna know that
107
00:05:17,368 --> 00:05:19,368
because we've separated
those two things,
108
00:05:19,436 --> 00:05:23,070
but the entire reason
sex exists is to have babies.
109
00:05:23,138 --> 00:05:25,906
That the only reason
it exists at all,
110
00:05:25,973 --> 00:05:27,975
but we're such
a narcissistic species
111
00:05:28,043 --> 00:05:29,911
that we've separate...
we've made it just...
112
00:05:29,978 --> 00:05:32,714
'cause we just wanna...
like, we just wanna just...
113
00:05:32,781 --> 00:05:35,283
( grunting )
114
00:05:35,350 --> 00:05:37,985
It's just a weird kind
of behavior.
115
00:05:38,053 --> 00:05:41,921
We just want to spray jizz
everywhere just for no reason.
116
00:05:41,989 --> 00:05:45,124
( Grunting )
117
00:05:45,192 --> 00:05:48,660
'Cause that urge is the urge
to procreate.
118
00:05:48,728 --> 00:05:52,497
A horny teenage boy
is thinking, "I want a baby.
119
00:05:52,564 --> 00:05:55,032
"Oh, yeah.
120
00:05:58,003 --> 00:06:00,137
"Oh, dude.
121
00:06:00,205 --> 00:06:01,771
"Oh, look at her tits.
122
00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:03,973
"I want her to feed my little
baby with her big tits.
123
00:06:04,041 --> 00:06:05,408
Oh, yeah !"
124
00:06:05,475 --> 00:06:08,110
That's what that is.
125
00:06:08,178 --> 00:06:10,345
But we make it this
separate thing.
126
00:06:10,413 --> 00:06:13,181
Animals must
think we're idiots.
127
00:06:13,249 --> 00:06:15,250
Animals that watch us have sex
must be like...
128
00:06:15,318 --> 00:06:16,784
"they don't know what they're...
129
00:06:16,852 --> 00:06:20,187
He's coming on her tits,
he's a moron, this guy."
130
00:06:20,255 --> 00:06:22,122
"Woo-hoo, doo !"
131
00:06:22,190 --> 00:06:24,390
Just, "whoops !"
132
00:06:24,458 --> 00:06:26,392
It just looks stupid to them.
133
00:06:29,183 --> 00:06:31,650
Anyway, I'm a...
I'm a father.
134
00:06:31,718 --> 00:06:33,452
( Scattered applause )
135
00:06:33,519 --> 00:06:36,087
Why?
136
00:06:36,155 --> 00:06:37,855
Why?
137
00:06:37,923 --> 00:06:40,457
It's weird the kind of things
people will clap for.
138
00:06:40,525 --> 00:06:42,225
It's interesting.
139
00:06:42,293 --> 00:06:43,660
First of all, right away,
any kind of a, "I got kids."
140
00:06:44,695 --> 00:06:47,396
There you go.
141
00:06:47,463 --> 00:06:49,197
"I ate 'em both."
142
00:06:49,265 --> 00:06:51,032
"Oh.
143
00:06:51,100 --> 00:06:54,268
"Wish I'd had...
wish I'd waited.
144
00:06:54,335 --> 00:06:58,305
Maybe a premature clap
right there with that."
145
00:06:58,372 --> 00:07:00,540
I mean, some parents are okay.
146
00:07:00,608 --> 00:07:01,707
Some parents are douche bags.
147
00:07:02,743 --> 00:07:05,844
( Loatter )
148
00:07:05,912 --> 00:07:07,212
( Woman ) Good evening.
149
00:07:07,380 --> 00:07:09,413
Good evening, may I have
your attention?
150
00:07:09,481 --> 00:07:11,082
Yes.
151
00:07:11,149 --> 00:07:13,718
Thank you, good evening.
152
00:07:13,785 --> 00:07:16,787
As always, we are really
grateful for those of you
153
00:07:16,855 --> 00:07:19,923
who pitch in here
and add your ideas.
154
00:07:19,990 --> 00:07:23,626
Except you never use any
of our ideas or really listen.
155
00:07:23,694 --> 00:07:26,962
Jay, I don't think you can
say that and be fair.
156
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:31,266
Look, I am more than
happy to look at your ideas.
157
00:07:31,333 --> 00:07:32,800
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
158
00:07:32,868 --> 00:07:34,234
Okay.
159
00:07:34,302 --> 00:07:36,269
Chris is here to talk
about some ways
160
00:07:36,337 --> 00:07:38,838
are trying to include
more physical activity
161
00:07:38,906 --> 00:07:40,406
in the curriculum
162
00:07:40,474 --> 00:07:43,109
to deal with this
fatigue problem.
163
00:07:43,176 --> 00:07:44,810
I'm sorry, what was that?
164
00:07:44,878 --> 00:07:46,245
Sorry?
165
00:07:46,312 --> 00:07:48,780
Oh, it's my first PTA meeting.
166
00:07:48,848 --> 00:07:51,282
Oh, well, thank you,
thank you for coming.
167
00:07:51,350 --> 00:07:52,883
Thanks.
168
00:07:52,951 --> 00:07:55,085
I just was wondering, what is
meant by the fatigue problem?
169
00:07:55,153 --> 00:07:57,320
Yeah, I'm curious about that, too.
170
00:07:57,388 --> 00:08:01,424
It's also my first PTA meeting.
171
00:08:01,492 --> 00:08:03,793
I work, hi.
172
00:08:03,861 --> 00:08:06,362
The fatigue problem
is what was identified
173
00:08:06,430 --> 00:08:08,265
in the first quarter
of this school year
174
00:08:08,332 --> 00:08:10,299
as being a marked decline
175
00:08:10,367 --> 00:08:13,702
in the spirit and interest
and energy of the kids here.
176
00:08:13,770 --> 00:08:16,605
Usually around noon
or right after lunch.
177
00:08:16,673 --> 00:08:18,506
It's because of the lunch.
178
00:08:18,574 --> 00:08:20,608
They aren't given
enough time to eat.
179
00:08:20,675 --> 00:08:22,709
No, it's not that...
they're being demoralized.
180
00:08:22,777 --> 00:08:24,711
You fill them with academics,
181
00:08:24,779 --> 00:08:26,813
you don't tell
them who they are.
182
00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:30,749
For now, we are focusing on
the lack of physical activity.
183
00:08:30,816 --> 00:08:32,615
Now, we still don't have a gym
184
00:08:32,683 --> 00:08:34,516
because of last year's
diarrhea flood.
185
00:08:34,583 --> 00:08:36,183
Excuse me, excuse me.
S.
186
00:08:36,251 --> 00:08:38,385
My name is Nancy Cartesian.
187
00:08:38,453 --> 00:08:41,019
My son is never Cartesian.
188
00:08:41,087 --> 00:08:42,920
Jesus.
189
00:08:42,988 --> 00:08:46,156
He has definitely suffered
from the fatigue syndrome.
190
00:08:46,224 --> 00:08:48,858
In my opinion, it's because
of the competitive nature
191
00:08:48,926 --> 00:08:51,226
of this school,
of the children and...
192
00:08:51,293 --> 00:08:53,394
I've been reading about this
reggio teaching method
193
00:08:53,461 --> 00:08:55,261
from Italy...
it's like Montessori,
194
00:08:55,329 --> 00:08:57,163
only it's a little bit
more creative.
195
00:08:57,230 --> 00:08:58,931
When are they
supposed to dance?
196
00:08:58,998 --> 00:09:00,466
It's the academics.
197
00:09:00,533 --> 00:09:02,034
This place is
still stuck in the '70s.
198
00:09:02,102 --> 00:09:03,870
Who still teaches math anymore?
199
00:09:03,938 --> 00:09:05,173
We've been talking
about introducing
200
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:06,808
some competitive sports.
201
00:09:06,876 --> 00:09:08,476
I think our just
need to be allowed
202
00:09:08,543 --> 00:09:10,110
to play more creatively.
203
00:09:10,177 --> 00:09:11,678
You are all way off...
this problem's...
204
00:09:11,745 --> 00:09:14,046
Isn't it just...
it's school, right?
205
00:09:14,113 --> 00:09:16,381
So, I mean, school sucks.
206
00:09:16,449 --> 00:09:18,450
Right?
207
00:09:18,517 --> 00:09:22,486
I mean, you do what you can
to improve it, but it's not...
208
00:09:22,554 --> 00:09:26,623
In the end, there's a limit,
'cause it's school.
209
00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:28,791
And school sucks.
210
00:09:28,859 --> 00:09:30,493
Remember?
211
00:09:59,183 --> 00:10:00,383
Hey.
212
00:10:00,451 --> 00:10:02,151
Hey.
213
00:10:02,219 --> 00:10:03,786
Hey, could I get one of those?
214
00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:06,487
Sure.
Thank you.
215
00:10:06,555 --> 00:10:10,658
Yeah, I don't think your
"school sucks" initiative
216
00:10:10,726 --> 00:10:12,726
is gonna get much support.
217
00:10:12,794 --> 00:10:14,394
Mm-hmm.
218
00:10:14,462 --> 00:10:16,496
Just saying.
I know.
219
00:10:16,564 --> 00:10:18,264
I don't even know why I came.
220
00:10:18,332 --> 00:10:20,599
I guess I just figured you
gotta go to one PTA meeting.
221
00:10:20,667 --> 00:10:23,001
Say.
222
00:10:23,069 --> 00:10:25,303
Hey, your son...
223
00:10:25,371 --> 00:10:27,105
Serge.
224
00:10:27,173 --> 00:10:28,940
Yeah, I'm sorry, I don't
know anybody's names.
225
00:10:29,008 --> 00:10:30,942
It's all right.
226
00:10:31,009 --> 00:10:32,710
You guys are in
my Lilly's class.
227
00:10:32,778 --> 00:10:34,511
Yeah, I know.
Yeah?
228
00:10:34,579 --> 00:10:36,479
Yeah, serge talks about
Lilly all the time.
229
00:10:36,547 --> 00:10:38,615
He's in stupid love with her.
230
00:10:38,682 --> 00:10:40,816
I didn't know that.
231
00:10:40,884 --> 00:10:42,685
Well, listen, Lilly hasn't
made a lot of friends
232
00:10:42,752 --> 00:10:44,953
in the new class
and I was wondering if maybe
233
00:10:45,021 --> 00:10:48,089
you just wanna do a playdate?
234
00:10:48,157 --> 00:10:49,457
You're not trying to
235
00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:52,493
stick your dick up me, are you?
236
00:10:53,261 --> 00:10:55,295
No, I just...
237
00:10:55,763 --> 00:10:58,897
You can drop him off
and go do something else.
238
00:10:58,965 --> 00:11:00,899
I just...
Lilly's kind of a loner.
239
00:11:00,967 --> 00:11:03,268
I wanna get a playdate
for her, that's all.
240
00:11:03,336 --> 00:11:06,437
Okay, 'cause nothing
goes in here anymore.
241
00:11:06,505 --> 00:11:09,640
I mean, all this shit is
shut down for good.
242
00:11:09,707 --> 00:11:11,741
All right, well,
I don't think I'll be needing
243
00:11:11,809 --> 00:11:15,310
any of that "shit" for
the playdate, so.
244
00:11:15,378 --> 00:11:17,312
So when do you want to do it?
245
00:11:17,380 --> 00:11:18,814
Are you making a playdate?
246
00:11:19,248 --> 00:11:21,916
Because Never
would really like one also.
247
00:11:21,984 --> 00:11:23,884
Oh, no, mm-mmm.
248
00:11:23,952 --> 00:11:26,220
No, we were just...
nope.
249
00:11:26,287 --> 00:11:28,522
Yeah.
250
00:11:28,589 --> 00:11:31,824
Oh, my God, I feel awful.
251
00:11:31,892 --> 00:11:33,726
I don't.
252
00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:36,194
That woman's an asshole.
253
00:11:36,262 --> 00:11:37,829
Have you met never?
254
00:11:37,897 --> 00:11:40,298
That kid is a piece of shit.
255
00:11:40,365 --> 00:11:42,266
Well, he d out of an asshole.
256
00:11:51,976 --> 00:11:56,380
Sometimes I feel like I just...
I don't have any friends.
257
00:11:56,447 --> 00:11:59,683
And why do you think that is?
258
00:11:59,750 --> 00:12:02,318
I don't know.
259
00:12:02,386 --> 00:12:05,554
Do you think it's...
260
00:12:05,622 --> 00:12:07,322
Because you're fat?
261
00:12:13,161 --> 00:12:16,363
Who are you...
you think I'm fat?
262
00:12:16,431 --> 00:12:18,731
I'm asking you
263
00:12:18,799 --> 00:12:22,164
if you think you're fat.
264
00:12:22,232 --> 00:12:24,898
No, you asked me if I thought
265
00:12:24,965 --> 00:12:27,064
I didn't have friends
because I'm fat.
266
00:12:30,568 --> 00:12:34,073
Because...
267
00:12:34,108 --> 00:12:36,408
You think you're fat.
268
00:12:42,542 --> 00:12:43,975
Hey.
269
00:12:44,043 --> 00:12:46,410
Hey... hey, girls,
serge is here.
270
00:12:46,477 --> 00:12:48,411
I was gonna take you up
on your offer
271
00:12:48,478 --> 00:12:50,746
of using this time
to do something,
272
00:12:50,813 --> 00:12:52,647
but I couldn't
make anything happen.
273
00:12:52,714 --> 00:12:54,248
So do you mind if I stay?
274
00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:56,049
Yeah, of course, please,
come on in.
275
00:12:56,116 --> 00:12:57,450
Okay.
276
00:12:57,517 --> 00:12:59,284
All right, honey...
shoes. Take 'em off.
277
00:12:59,352 --> 00:13:01,019
No, no, no, he doesn't have to.
278
00:13:01,087 --> 00:13:03,256
Oh, please. He steps in
dog poop on purpose.
279
00:13:03,323 --> 00:13:05,059
Do you have wine?
280
00:13:10,203 --> 00:13:13,606
So when did you guys
get divorced?
281
00:13:13,674 --> 00:13:15,908
Well, we got separated
about two years ago
282
00:13:15,976 --> 00:13:18,610
and the divorce took forever.
283
00:13:18,678 --> 00:13:20,379
Is serge okay with nuts?
284
00:13:20,446 --> 00:13:23,481
Yeah, and his
really likes wine.
285
00:13:23,516 --> 00:13:26,184
Oh, shit, I'm sorry.
286
00:13:26,251 --> 00:13:27,852
Is this okay?
287
00:13:27,919 --> 00:13:29,553
Yes, please.
288
00:13:33,290 --> 00:13:35,024
Why don't you peel carrots?
289
00:13:35,092 --> 00:13:37,493
I got this.
Okay.
290
00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:39,294
Mmm!
291
00:13:39,362 --> 00:13:42,797
Oh, my God, this is so good!
292
00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:44,799
It's just some rice and beans.
293
00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:46,400
Mm-mmm.
294
00:13:46,468 --> 00:13:48,001
You don't understand.
295
00:13:48,069 --> 00:13:49,870
I come home from work,
296
00:13:49,937 --> 00:13:52,071
I make him macaroni and cheese,
297
00:13:52,139 --> 00:13:54,873
I eat whatever's left in his
bowl while he's in the tub.
298
00:13:54,941 --> 00:13:57,741
I wish daddy would make
macaroni and cheese.
299
00:13:57,809 --> 00:14:00,945
Hey, listen, little girl,
you should be happy
300
00:14:01,013 --> 00:14:03,382
that your daddy takes the
time to make nice food for you.
301
00:14:03,449 --> 00:14:05,116
You should be grateful.
302
00:14:05,184 --> 00:14:06,884
What does grateful mean?
303
00:14:06,952 --> 00:14:08,952
She knows what grateful means.
304
00:14:09,020 --> 00:14:10,387
Ooh.
305
00:14:10,454 --> 00:14:12,522
Undercut by big sister,
I like it!
306
00:14:18,761 --> 00:14:20,897
So where is...
307
00:14:20,964 --> 00:14:22,098
Serge's dad?
308
00:14:22,166 --> 00:14:23,666
Yeah, sorry.
309
00:14:23,733 --> 00:14:25,667
You know, I feel like
you shouldn't ask anybody
310
00:14:25,735 --> 00:14:28,136
about anybody just to be
safe... you never know.
311
00:14:28,203 --> 00:14:30,271
Good rule, definitely.
312
00:14:30,338 --> 00:14:31,805
Well, people are so stupid.
313
00:14:31,873 --> 00:14:33,640
They're like...
"where is your wife ?"
314
00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:36,242
Like they never heard
of divorce or people dying.
315
00:14:36,310 --> 00:14:38,710
And they go, "I'm so sorry."
316
00:14:38,778 --> 00:14:40,912
Like, you didn't say
you were so sorry
317
00:14:40,980 --> 00:14:43,114
when I was stuck
in a shitty marriage.
318
00:14:43,181 --> 00:14:46,717
Well, most divorced people
are depressing.
319
00:14:46,784 --> 00:14:48,385
They're lost.
320
00:14:48,453 --> 00:14:50,152
You're doing fine.
321
00:14:50,220 --> 00:14:51,954
You're obviously a great dad.
322
00:14:54,557 --> 00:14:55,958
What?
323
00:14:56,026 --> 00:14:57,659
How do you know
I'm such a great dad?
324
00:14:57,726 --> 00:14:59,127
Just 'cause I'm in the same
room with my children,
325
00:14:59,195 --> 00:15:00,463
that's it?
326
00:15:00,531 --> 00:15:02,065
Yeah, exactly.
327
00:15:02,132 --> 00:15:04,266
Just by showing up,
you're father of the year.
328
00:15:04,334 --> 00:15:05,100
You're here, you're peeling
a carrot.
329
00:15:05,902 --> 00:15:08,102
You're amazing.
330
00:15:08,170 --> 00:15:09,937
That's kind of offensive
to fathers.
331
00:15:10,005 --> 00:15:11,571
Well, it should be.
332
00:15:11,638 --> 00:15:14,173
Fathers should be offended
all the time, they stink.
333
00:15:14,241 --> 00:15:17,743
Oh, come on.
334
00:15:17,811 --> 00:15:19,812
Look, you really gonna
defend fathers?
335
00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:22,347
What was your father like?
336
00:15:22,415 --> 00:15:24,448
Not around.
337
00:15:24,516 --> 00:15:26,685
Dude, take the compliment.
338
00:15:26,753 --> 00:15:28,955
You're a great dad.
Thanks.
339
00:15:31,625 --> 00:15:33,959
Daddy, we're chasing serge.
340
00:15:34,027 --> 00:15:36,628
That's great, honey.
341
00:15:36,695 --> 00:15:39,730
I know you told me
her name but I forgot.
342
00:15:39,798 --> 00:15:41,565
What is it?
343
00:15:41,633 --> 00:15:43,800
Doesn't matter.
344
00:15:43,868 --> 00:15:46,168
Oh, my God.
345
00:15:46,236 --> 00:15:48,303
Okay...
346
00:15:48,371 --> 00:15:50,472
What's the worst thought
347
00:15:50,540 --> 00:15:52,373
you ever had about your kids?
348
00:15:55,676 --> 00:15:57,377
I don't know, you go first.
349
00:16:00,847 --> 00:16:02,948
All right.
350
00:16:03,015 --> 00:16:06,350
I would never hit serge, never.
351
00:16:06,418 --> 00:16:09,288
But sometimes,
352
00:16:09,355 --> 00:16:12,157
I think about hitting him.
353
00:16:12,224 --> 00:16:15,659
Like, I picture it,
like a fantasy.
354
00:16:15,727 --> 00:16:18,228
Come on, that's not so bad.
355
00:16:18,295 --> 00:16:20,563
Well, I mean,
I don't think about it
356
00:16:20,631 --> 00:16:22,998
when he's being bad
357
00:16:23,066 --> 00:16:25,434
or I'm having
a hard time with him
358
00:16:25,501 --> 00:16:28,702
or anything like that,
I just...
359
00:16:28,770 --> 00:16:32,905
I think about it when I'm bored
360
00:16:32,973 --> 00:16:35,975
or when I'm bored of
being a mom,
361
00:16:36,043 --> 00:16:38,777
or when he's just boring.
362
00:16:38,845 --> 00:16:40,779
I just think a hitting him
363
00:16:40,846 --> 00:16:43,281
right in his
stupid little face.
364
00:16:43,348 --> 00:16:47,150
Oh, my God, that's awful.
365
00:16:47,218 --> 00:16:49,119
I know.
366
00:16:49,187 --> 00:16:50,955
Oh, my God.
I know.
367
00:16:53,825 --> 00:16:55,226
Jesus.
368
00:16:55,293 --> 00:16:58,162
All right, so what's yours?
369
00:16:58,230 --> 00:17:00,465
Oh, uh...
370
00:17:00,532 --> 00:17:02,166
I don't know,
I'm drawing a blank.
371
00:17:02,234 --> 00:17:04,635
Come on.
372
00:17:04,703 --> 00:17:07,238
I can't think of anything.
373
00:17:07,239 --> 00:17:07,372
That's not fair...
you're a piece o
374
00:17:07,439 --> 00:17:09,440
it.
I can't think of anything.
375
00:17:09,508 --> 00:17:11,475
You're gonna make me
burn in hell alone?
376
00:17:11,543 --> 00:17:13,609
No, no, no, no, no, no, okay.
377
00:17:13,677 --> 00:17:16,878
Bad...
378
00:17:16,945 --> 00:17:18,845
What... hurry!
379
00:17:18,913 --> 00:17:21,713
Okay, okay, okay, all right,
you know what?
380
00:17:21,781 --> 00:17:24,615
I was thinking that
381
00:17:24,682 --> 00:17:27,516
on Jane's 18th birthday, right?
382
00:17:27,584 --> 00:17:29,551
That's the day I stop
being a dad,
383
00:17:29,619 --> 00:17:32,520
of children, officially.
384
00:17:32,588 --> 00:17:35,857
Like, the day I just... I just
become a guy, not "daddy,"
385
00:17:35,924 --> 00:17:38,759
I just become just some dude.
386
00:17:41,195 --> 00:17:43,996
I think on that day...
387
00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:46,365
I might kill myself.
388
00:17:49,969 --> 00:17:52,670
Oh, my God!
389
00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:56,507
Please do it now.
390
00:17:56,574 --> 00:17:59,376
Oh, my God, you're the
biggest bummer I ever met.
391
00:17:59,443 --> 00:18:02,445
I hate you.
392
00:18:02,512 --> 00:18:05,047
Oh, I'm having so much fun.
393
00:18:12,087 --> 00:18:14,622
Pamela?
394
00:18:14,656 --> 00:18:15,589
Pamela ?O
395
00:18:17,825 --> 00:18:20,393
oh, hey, serge, your mom is...
396
00:18:20,461 --> 00:18:23,462
She just got tired.
397
00:18:23,530 --> 00:18:26,532
She had too much wine.
398
00:18:26,599 --> 00:18:28,533
Mama, mama, wake up.
399
00:18:31,637 --> 00:18:32,971
Oh, honey.
400
00:18:33,038 --> 00:18:34,939
Okay, we're going now.
401
00:18:35,007 --> 00:18:36,674
Thank you so much,
thanks for everything.
402
00:18:36,742 --> 00:18:38,376
Bye, girls!
You're going?
403
00:18:38,443 --> 00:18:39,910
All right, well...
404
00:18:39,978 --> 00:18:42,412
Grab your shoes.
405
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:45,548
All right, well, bye,
than for everything.
406
00:18:45,616 --> 00:18:47,650
Right, sure.
407
00:18:50,053 --> 00:18:51,787
Thanks for coming.
408
00:18:55,490 --> 00:18:57,591
( Louie ) I've never gotten
laid 'cause of the way I look
409
00:18:57,659 --> 00:19:00,293
in my life... I know that.
410
00:19:00,361 --> 00:19:02,262
I've never gained from
my looks at all.
411
00:19:02,330 --> 00:19:06,832
It's not like, "oh, they're
going, what am I gonna do now ?"
412
00:19:06,900 --> 00:19:10,602
I've never gained any
advantage in life...
413
00:19:10,670 --> 00:19:12,504
I've never been laid
'cause of the way I look.
414
00:19:12,572 --> 00:19:14,272
I've never been a guy
415
00:19:14,340 --> 00:19:17,308
who I just walk in a room
and women go,
416
00:19:17,376 --> 00:19:19,076
"ohh..."
417
00:19:23,580 --> 00:19:26,681
They drop their microphones
and start masturbating
418
00:19:26,749 --> 00:19:29,751
their vaginas
and anuses at the same time.
419
00:19:29,819 --> 00:19:32,987
I'm not that guy.
420
00:19:33,054 --> 00:19:36,590
There are those guys.
421
00:19:36,657 --> 00:19:39,159
I'm not that guy.
422
00:19:39,227 --> 00:19:41,694
I'm the guy that women see
and they go...
423
00:19:41,762 --> 00:19:43,662
"eh ?"
424
00:19:43,730 --> 00:19:45,030
And I'm like,
425
00:19:45,098 --> 00:19:46,899
"I know, but let me just
talk to you for a minute."
426
00:19:46,967 --> 00:19:49,067
( Audience laughing )
427
00:19:49,135 --> 00:19:51,236
And then later that night,
she's like,
428
00:19:51,304 --> 00:19:54,172
"I can't believe I'm having
sex with that weird guy."
429
00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:56,741
I'm like, "I know,
it's weird, but it does happen."
430
00:19:59,244 --> 00:20:00,911
I don't know what...
431
00:20:00,979 --> 00:20:03,680
What kind of position we're in
that she's doing this
432
00:20:03,747 --> 00:20:06,649
and I'm doing this.
433
00:20:06,717 --> 00:20:09,852
Just kind of just poking her.
434
00:20:09,919 --> 00:20:12,620
And she's like, "really ?"
435
00:20:12,688 --> 00:20:14,289
"Yeah, this is all I like,
436
00:20:14,356 --> 00:20:16,557
I don't... nothing else works,
sorry."
437
00:20:23,813 --> 00:20:26,914
I can't... I just can't get
organized, you know?
438
00:20:26,982 --> 00:20:28,882
I feel like
my whole life is just...
439
00:20:28,950 --> 00:20:30,617
I feel like I'm underwater.
440
00:20:30,685 --> 00:20:32,719
I'm just overwhelmed by
everything that I have to do.
441
00:20:39,993 --> 00:20:43,429
Have you ever heard...
442
00:20:43,497 --> 00:20:47,900
Of someone dying...
443
00:20:47,967 --> 00:20:50,369
And then...
You got an erection?
444
00:20:54,939 --> 00:20:57,174
What?
445
00:20:57,242 --> 00:20:59,175
No.
446
00:20:59,243 --> 00:21:02,811
No, that never...
that never happened to me.
447
00:21:02,879 --> 00:21:04,613
That happened to me.
448
00:21:04,614 --> 00:21:14,614
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
449
00:21:14,664 --> 00:21:19,214
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