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1
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You know, Manolo, my whole career,
2
00:00:04,001 --> 00:00:06,515
nothing ever changes... one big circle.
3
00:00:06,540 --> 00:00:08,673
All the people who are
supposed to believe in me,
4
00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:10,342
supposed to be at my side of the table
5
00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:11,883
all going against me.
6
00:00:12,251 --> 00:00:13,645
I thought Olly was different.
7
00:00:13,647 --> 00:00:14,813
She is different.
8
00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:16,548
I never met anybody like her.
9
00:00:17,097 --> 00:00:18,897
And she really cares
about you, jefe.
10
00:00:19,198 --> 00:00:20,865
I think it's this business, man.
11
00:00:20,867 --> 00:00:24,102
Just constant rejection and the line
12
00:00:24,104 --> 00:00:26,271
between success and failure so thin
13
00:00:26,273 --> 00:00:27,272
that it eats at you.
14
00:00:27,274 --> 00:00:28,673
You matter until you end up doing
15
00:00:28,675 --> 00:00:30,041
things that you thought would never do.
16
00:00:30,043 --> 00:00:32,677
So are we moving to Brooklyn
or are you doing anal?
17
00:00:32,679 --> 00:00:34,499
Are you listening to
what I'm saying, fool?
18
00:00:34,524 --> 00:00:37,115
I'm not gonna let them turn
"Valleys" into a shitty show.
19
00:00:37,117 --> 00:00:38,683
I gotta use my success and end up
20
00:00:38,685 --> 00:00:40,351
making the show that I want to make.
21
00:00:40,353 --> 00:00:41,588
?rale.
22
00:00:44,725 --> 00:00:47,225
Hey, what's with the
cookies and the phone?
23
00:00:47,227 --> 00:00:48,760
I eat when I'm nervous and I'm nervous
24
00:00:48,762 --> 00:00:50,395
when I don't know if I passed my GED.
25
00:00:50,397 --> 00:00:51,730
I don't know if I passed.
26
00:00:51,732 --> 00:00:53,565
All right, listen to me. I'm positive
27
00:00:53,567 --> 00:00:54,833
that you're gonna pass that test.
28
00:00:54,835 --> 00:00:56,490
- Really?
- Definitely.
29
00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:58,690
- That sounds good, jefe.
- You know what?
30
00:00:58,692 --> 00:01:00,892
I'm gonna call Greg at ABC directly,
31
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,194
I'm gonna tell him I don't like
32
00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:03,395
the direction of the show,
33
00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:05,230
and I'm gonna demand a meeting.
34
00:01:06,584 --> 00:01:08,633
I will commit every fiber
of my being to "Valleys."
35
00:01:08,635 --> 00:01:10,168
I'll bring it in on budget,
36
00:01:10,170 --> 00:01:12,504
travel around the world
to promote it if I have to,
37
00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:13,872
but the one thing I don't want to do is,
38
00:01:13,874 --> 00:01:15,774
I don't want to turn it
into a half-hour sitcom.
39
00:01:16,433 --> 00:01:17,751
We hear you.
40
00:01:17,776 --> 00:01:20,178
Now, let us think about it
41
00:01:20,180 --> 00:01:21,379
and you think about it too.
42
00:01:21,381 --> 00:01:23,516
There's a lot to take in.
43
00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:26,418
Yeah. Uh, you know, with all due respect,
44
00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:27,819
I'm not gonna budge on this,
45
00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:29,719
so there's really nothing to think about.
46
00:01:31,683 --> 00:01:33,619
There's always something to think about.
47
00:01:34,057 --> 00:01:35,560
- We'll walk you out.
- Yeah.
48
00:01:35,562 --> 00:01:36,828
Let it all sink in.
49
00:01:37,385 --> 00:01:39,033
There's no need to be rash.
50
00:01:39,366 --> 00:01:41,104
- Yeah. Oh, this way.
- Hey.
51
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:53,078
You know, it is amazing
just how few roles there are
52
00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:56,071
for talented and
experienced Latino actors.
53
00:01:57,050 --> 00:01:58,583
It's a crime, really.
54
00:01:58,585 --> 00:02:00,485
You know, I don't think
I would feel right,
55
00:02:00,487 --> 00:02:03,049
letting you just go away.
56
00:02:03,702 --> 00:02:06,593
57
00:02:06,617 --> 00:02:09,114
Synced by louvette
www.addic7ed.com
58
00:02:09,329 --> 00:02:12,531
They had a room full of dudes
that looked like me, man.
59
00:02:12,533 --> 00:02:13,698
They're trying to scare me.
60
00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:15,066
- Did it work?
- Hell, yeah, it worked.
61
00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:16,735
I think Edward James Olmos is in there.
62
00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:18,937
- Man, he's so good.
- I know.
63
00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:20,472
I'm gonna have to rethink this.
64
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,240
You know what? Take me down to GVN.
65
00:02:22,242 --> 00:02:23,942
I think I'm gonna ask
Lori what she thinks.
66
00:02:23,944 --> 00:02:25,377
If there's any questions about business,
67
00:02:25,379 --> 00:02:26,511
I think she would know.
68
00:02:26,513 --> 00:02:28,213
So, how's everything going with her?
69
00:02:28,215 --> 00:02:30,236
Good. You know, casual.
70
00:02:30,451 --> 00:02:32,588
- Are you sure?
- Yeah, of course. No.
71
00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:35,187
I probably think if I was
gonna describe her in two words,
72
00:02:36,038 --> 00:02:37,789
I'd probably describe her
as, like, good and casual.
73
00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:39,090
No word on the GED yet?
74
00:02:39,092 --> 00:02:41,860
No, and Maronzio still hasn't shown up.
75
00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:44,362
He hasn't done any tweeting,
hollas, or anything.
76
00:02:44,364 --> 00:02:45,397
No texts, either?
77
00:02:45,399 --> 00:02:46,731
That's a long time for him to go
78
00:02:46,733 --> 00:02:48,400
without complaining about something.
79
00:02:48,402 --> 00:02:49,601
I know. I'm worried. He was really
80
00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:51,903
broken up about Shandra. What do we do?
81
00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:53,705
- Have you checked his hangouts?
- I have.
82
00:02:54,461 --> 00:02:56,241
- You call Shandra?
- I did.
83
00:02:56,243 --> 00:02:57,709
Should we put up some posters?
84
00:02:58,822 --> 00:03:00,714
That's a human being,
fool. It's not a cat.
85
00:03:02,423 --> 00:03:04,416
Hey, George, it's me again.
86
00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:06,476
Listen, I know what it looked like,
87
00:03:06,501 --> 00:03:08,453
because that is what
happened, but listen,
88
00:03:08,455 --> 00:03:10,956
could you just call me back?
I just really want to help.
89
00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:12,657
We're having chicken tortilla,
90
00:03:12,659 --> 00:03:14,092
but until you adjust your attitude,
91
00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:16,761
as Jerry Seinfeld said, no soup for you.
92
00:03:16,981 --> 00:03:18,364
You can have some of my soup.
93
00:03:19,012 --> 00:03:22,701
Jerry Seinfeld never said that, okay.
94
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:24,836
The soup Nazi said it to George.
95
00:03:24,838 --> 00:03:26,505
And Pfeiffer, I don't really think
96
00:03:26,507 --> 00:03:27,973
sharing you dumb soup is gonna make up
97
00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:29,941
for you destroying my entire career.
98
00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:31,643
What the hell is wrong with you?
99
00:03:31,645 --> 00:03:33,145
As long as you're under my roof,
100
00:03:33,147 --> 00:03:35,046
you will treat your sister with respect.
101
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:37,883
- Then I'm moving out.
- Me too.
102
00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:39,518
What? Where?
103
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:40,852
I'm moving in with Jason.
104
00:03:41,323 --> 00:03:42,654
ABC Jason?
105
00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:43,922
Well, he's in between jobs right now.
106
00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:46,258
- He's weighing his options.
- He got fired!
107
00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:48,560
- He sounds like an excellent provider.
- Mm-hmm.
108
00:03:49,184 --> 00:03:50,697
Can you hear?
109
00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:57,469
We have been saved.
110
00:03:57,471 --> 00:03:59,237
Now, Maronzio, Mike, and Ironhead
111
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,206
will testify by their humble example.
112
00:04:01,208 --> 00:04:03,141
Let's hear it for our brothers!
113
00:04:03,143 --> 00:04:06,721
[cheers and applause]
114
00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:12,117
Yeah, I don't like what ABC
is trying to do with my show,
115
00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:15,821
but I'm trying not to be
stupid or overemotional
116
00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:18,457
- or self-sabotaging.
- Hmm.
117
00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:19,724
Well, in my experience,
118
00:04:19,726 --> 00:04:21,426
those are all good things to avoid.
119
00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:23,457
What if I do the show the
way they want me to do it
120
00:04:23,482 --> 00:04:25,530
- and I hate it?
- You do it yourself.
121
00:04:25,532 --> 00:04:26,965
That's why I started this place.
122
00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:28,333
Wait a minute. You put
your own money up for this?
123
00:04:28,335 --> 00:04:30,068
Oh, no, no. You use other people's money.
124
00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:32,871
You know, you should do
a Kickstarter campaign.
125
00:04:33,778 --> 00:04:35,287
Is that where, like, the fans pay?
126
00:04:35,501 --> 00:04:37,503
It works, and as the fans pile on,
127
00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:39,561
you build awareness and excitement.
128
00:04:41,895 --> 00:04:43,582
So your fans pay you to make "Valleys"?
129
00:04:43,584 --> 00:04:45,183
It's this thing called
the Kickstarter, man.
130
00:04:45,185 --> 00:04:46,751
It's great. And that's
how things get done.
131
00:04:46,753 --> 00:04:48,755
And I talked to Coco. She's in.
132
00:04:52,031 --> 00:04:53,274
[clears throat]
133
00:04:53,727 --> 00:04:55,961
I heard the network
Reginald VelJohnsoned you.
134
00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:57,129
What are you talking about?
135
00:04:57,131 --> 00:04:58,954
The dad from "Family Matters."
136
00:04:59,213 --> 00:05:00,732
The... The Urkel show.
137
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:02,033
Oh, that kid was comedy.
138
00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:04,436
So the story goes, his contract was up
139
00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:06,738
and he wanted a raise because
the show was such a hit.
140
00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:08,173
Well, the network agreed to bring him in,
141
00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:09,708
but then, when he got
there, the waiting room
142
00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:11,096
was full of African-American actors
143
00:05:11,121 --> 00:05:12,410
who looked just like him.
144
00:05:12,412 --> 00:05:14,746
I mean, they teach this
stuff in business schools.
145
00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:16,815
Damn, that's what they
did to you, jefe.
146
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,316
Yeah, but it didn't work on me.
147
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,519
I know. That's why I'm here.
148
00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:21,787
Is that why you're here?
149
00:05:21,789 --> 00:05:23,321
Maybe you're here to undermine me
150
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:26,024
or try to get me to do
something I don't believe in.
151
00:05:26,386 --> 00:05:28,360
No, I don't want to do any of that.
152
00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:31,363
- I'm just here to help.
- How do I know I can trust you?
153
00:05:31,936 --> 00:05:34,533
I don't know. Maybe you can't.
154
00:05:34,992 --> 00:05:36,835
Or maybe I could prove to
you that I could just help.
155
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,972
Could I just please help, George?
156
00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:44,643
I like the Kickstarter idea,
157
00:05:44,645 --> 00:05:46,478
but that just gets your show made.
158
00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:47,813
That's just half the battle.
159
00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:49,080
I know, but once it's made
160
00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:50,615
and I think the networks
see how good it is,
161
00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:51,817
I think everybody will jump on it.
162
00:05:51,819 --> 00:05:53,351
I wish that was how it worked,
163
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,187
but nobody in this town does anything
164
00:05:55,189 --> 00:05:57,456
unless somebody else
wants to do it first.
165
00:05:57,783 --> 00:05:59,257
Damn, that sounds horrible.
166
00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:02,327
Yes. Unless you know how to play it,
167
00:06:02,329 --> 00:06:03,995
and then it can be maybe kind of fun.
168
00:06:04,455 --> 00:06:05,924
And I know how to play it.
169
00:06:06,852 --> 00:06:10,171
I have never actually met
somebody when I get a scoop.
170
00:06:10,196 --> 00:06:13,498
It feels weird. Why
don't you just send an IM?
171
00:06:14,036 --> 00:06:15,044
Because this...
172
00:06:15,503 --> 00:06:17,773
is the original hour-long version.
173
00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:19,734
It's too hot to handle, my friend.
174
00:06:19,759 --> 00:06:21,826
Too edgy, too dangerous.
175
00:06:21,828 --> 00:06:23,127
If they knew I leaked this,
176
00:06:23,129 --> 00:06:25,530
I could be sued into the Stone Age.
177
00:06:26,648 --> 00:06:29,232
Okay. I'll get back to
you after I've read it.
178
00:06:29,235 --> 00:06:32,066
No. Oh, you'll read it now.
179
00:06:32,091 --> 00:06:33,639
It's too hot.
180
00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:35,573
This copy's not leaving my sight.
181
00:06:40,113 --> 00:06:41,607
Okay.
182
00:06:43,149 --> 00:06:44,185
Okay.
183
00:06:45,485 --> 00:06:47,084
184
00:06:47,086 --> 00:06:49,120
You know what? We need to find a way
185
00:06:49,122 --> 00:06:51,255
to get people to sign up
on my Kickstarter campaign.
186
00:06:51,257 --> 00:06:53,791
Hey, yo, G, I bet you I
can get people to donate.
187
00:06:53,793 --> 00:06:54,973
Watch this.
188
00:06:55,512 --> 00:06:56,994
What's up, Abjackers?
189
00:06:56,996 --> 00:06:59,297
Check out George Lopez'
Kickstarter campaign
190
00:06:59,299 --> 00:07:01,065
on "Valleys"... Whoop! And donate!
191
00:07:01,067 --> 00:07:02,967
Whoo! Like a case of ab-abbajacky.
192
00:07:02,969 --> 00:07:05,536
All right. Thanks,
Hector. I appreciate that.
193
00:07:05,538 --> 00:07:06,598
Manolo?
194
00:07:07,258 --> 00:07:09,173
- Manolo!
- Wendy!
195
00:07:09,175 --> 00:07:10,408
I've been waiting to hear from you.
196
00:07:10,410 --> 00:07:12,977
Well, wait no longer. You passed!
197
00:07:12,979 --> 00:07:15,146
- Really?
- Hell, yeah. You got a 68.
198
00:07:15,148 --> 00:07:17,448
- You're valedictorian!
- Hey, let's celebrate.
199
00:07:17,450 --> 00:07:20,633
- Let's have a drink.
- Hey, I can't be fired. I'm in.
200
00:07:21,426 --> 00:07:22,753
Now we can be together.
201
00:07:22,755 --> 00:07:24,455
That's why I came in person, baby.
202
00:07:24,457 --> 00:07:26,090
Oh, well, if you need to use my room...
203
00:07:26,092 --> 00:07:28,326
Hey, that's still my daughter's room.
204
00:07:28,328 --> 00:07:29,327
[phone chimes]
205
00:07:29,329 --> 00:07:30,539
Oh, what's that?
206
00:07:32,665 --> 00:07:33,965
Everything okay, jefe?
207
00:07:33,967 --> 00:07:36,300
Yeah, it's Coco. She's outside.
208
00:07:36,302 --> 00:07:37,778
She says she has to talk to me.
209
00:07:38,171 --> 00:07:40,538
Coco, come on in. What are you doing?
210
00:07:40,540 --> 00:07:41,830
- You all right?
- Yes.
211
00:07:42,575 --> 00:07:43,495
What's up?
212
00:07:43,839 --> 00:07:45,176
So, um...
213
00:07:45,950 --> 00:07:48,112
ABC just offered me my own show.
214
00:07:48,603 --> 00:07:51,147
They're calling it "Loco for Coco."
215
00:07:51,150 --> 00:07:53,184
What did ABC do? Order a pilot?
216
00:07:53,699 --> 00:07:55,749
Actually, they picked up a full season.
217
00:07:56,489 --> 00:07:59,449
George, I don't want to hurt
your Kickstarter campaign.
218
00:07:59,893 --> 00:08:02,226
You were loyal to me and
I want to reassure you
219
00:08:02,228 --> 00:08:04,195
that I'm going to be loyal to you.
220
00:08:04,197 --> 00:08:05,930
Coco, I appreciate the loyalty.
221
00:08:05,932 --> 00:08:07,164
I really do. I mean, that's something
222
00:08:07,166 --> 00:08:08,366
that's rare in this business,
223
00:08:08,368 --> 00:08:11,102
but that's something you gotta go and do.
224
00:08:11,104 --> 00:08:13,871
All right? And know that
I'm your biggest fan,
225
00:08:13,873 --> 00:08:15,072
and whatever night you're on,
226
00:08:15,074 --> 00:08:16,855
- I'll be watching.
- George...
227
00:08:18,077 --> 00:08:20,437
Fair warning. I'm going
to hug you right now.
228
00:08:20,462 --> 00:08:21,507
Okay.
229
00:08:22,824 --> 00:08:23,983
Thank you.
230
00:08:25,518 --> 00:08:26,930
Congratulations, Coco.
231
00:08:27,954 --> 00:08:29,837
I'll tell you, losing Coco hurts,
232
00:08:30,617 --> 00:08:32,508
but our casting directors
have already submitted
233
00:08:32,533 --> 00:08:34,617
a list of other transgender actors.
234
00:08:34,642 --> 00:08:35,908
You mean there's more than one?
235
00:08:36,660 --> 00:08:37,837
- Wow.
- [phone tweets]
236
00:08:38,298 --> 00:08:40,713
Wait a minute. It's
a tweet from Maronzio.
237
00:08:40,715 --> 00:08:42,215
Damn, it's about time.
238
00:08:42,611 --> 00:08:44,380
He says he's fine.
239
00:08:44,406 --> 00:08:46,052
"I am at peace.
240
00:08:46,446 --> 00:08:49,808
"I am not letting losing
the woman that I love
241
00:08:49,833 --> 00:08:51,146
"tear my life apart
242
00:08:51,556 --> 00:08:54,328
because I have found
the love of the Lord."
243
00:08:55,542 --> 00:08:56,607
Drive Seekers!
244
00:08:56,848 --> 00:08:58,025
They got him!
245
00:08:58,500 --> 00:09:01,736
246
00:09:03,471 --> 00:09:05,772
I know that parking lot.
It's right off Glen Oaks.
247
00:09:05,774 --> 00:09:07,940
Between that carpet center
and the Jon's Market?
248
00:09:07,942 --> 00:09:10,543
Yeah, right there where I met
those girls from Canoga Park.
249
00:09:10,545 --> 00:09:12,145
Wow, he sure looks happy.
250
00:09:12,147 --> 00:09:13,546
Exactly. Man, that can't be Maronzio.
251
00:09:13,548 --> 00:09:15,615
- I've never seen him look like that.
- Mm-mm.
252
00:09:15,617 --> 00:09:18,217
Oh, man. Bad traffic, huh?
253
00:09:18,609 --> 00:09:20,153
There'd better be an accident up there.
254
00:09:20,155 --> 00:09:21,788
I'm just kidding about the accident.
255
00:09:21,790 --> 00:09:23,890
You want traffic to be bad for no reason.
256
00:09:24,547 --> 00:09:25,715
Maronzio!
257
00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:29,524
Hey. Traffic's a mess, huh?
258
00:09:29,898 --> 00:09:33,001
[horns honking]
259
00:09:40,508 --> 00:09:41,741
I really gotta go, guys.
260
00:09:41,743 --> 00:09:42,909
I've still got a long ways to go.
261
00:09:42,911 --> 00:09:44,811
Wait a minute. What's going on?
262
00:09:44,813 --> 00:09:46,946
Jesus was a carpenter,
so we built our crosses
263
00:09:46,948 --> 00:09:49,048
and we follow his path
bearing those crosses
264
00:09:49,050 --> 00:09:50,616
so we have a better understanding
265
00:09:50,618 --> 00:09:52,585
- of his suffering.
- Okay. Uh...
266
00:09:52,587 --> 00:09:54,921
Does this journey end
at Big Lots or Sizzler?
267
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,022
Look, man, you look exhausted.
268
00:09:57,047 --> 00:09:59,248
You need to relax. Just take a breather.
269
00:09:59,708 --> 00:10:01,327
Hey, hey, watch the paint!
270
00:10:01,329 --> 00:10:02,829
So you weren't gonna do anything more
271
00:10:02,831 --> 00:10:04,931
than just carry that cross, right?
272
00:10:04,933 --> 00:10:05,999
I don't think so.
273
00:10:06,001 --> 00:10:07,767
Okay. Maronzio, listen.
274
00:10:07,769 --> 00:10:08,968
I think it's great that you've found
275
00:10:08,970 --> 00:10:10,370
something that gives your life direction,
276
00:10:10,372 --> 00:10:11,704
but, you know, you're
in a vulnerable place
277
00:10:11,706 --> 00:10:13,106
with Shandra and everything.
278
00:10:13,108 --> 00:10:14,874
Go slow, man. Maybe
go to church on Sunday.
279
00:10:14,876 --> 00:10:16,275
If you like it, go Wednesday.
280
00:10:16,277 --> 00:10:17,543
And then, kind of work your way up
281
00:10:17,545 --> 00:10:18,911
to a crucifixion.
282
00:10:19,290 --> 00:10:20,913
Look, I appreciate your concern,
283
00:10:20,915 --> 00:10:23,352
but I really need to go or
Iron here's gonna beat me.
284
00:10:23,579 --> 00:10:25,685
Look, it's not a race
to salvation, Maronzio.
285
00:10:25,687 --> 00:10:27,887
I know, but I still don't want
him to beat me there first.
286
00:10:28,579 --> 00:10:29,516
All right.
287
00:10:30,180 --> 00:10:31,391
Oh, did I tell you
288
00:10:31,393 --> 00:10:33,693
James Corden wants you
to do carpool karaoke?
289
00:10:34,046 --> 00:10:35,053
Really?
290
00:10:35,085 --> 00:10:36,029
No, he don't.
291
00:10:36,683 --> 00:10:38,464
But listen, you saw how excited you got?
292
00:10:38,466 --> 00:10:40,767
Let that into your heart, all right?
293
00:10:40,769 --> 00:10:42,035
From what I understand,
294
00:10:42,037 --> 00:10:43,603
God's love is unconditional.
295
00:10:43,605 --> 00:10:45,371
You don't have to do any of this for it.
296
00:10:45,896 --> 00:10:48,041
All I have to do is
let him into my heart.
297
00:10:48,043 --> 00:10:49,609
Let him in your heart. You can do that
298
00:10:49,611 --> 00:10:51,310
from the air-conditioned SUV.
299
00:10:51,312 --> 00:10:53,312
Come on. Let's help you out.
300
00:10:53,314 --> 00:10:55,591
You know, lift your burden.
301
00:10:58,098 --> 00:10:59,957
I mean, that does sound reasonable,
302
00:11:00,325 --> 00:11:02,957
but... will my cross fit?
303
00:11:16,086 --> 00:11:17,704
A Tesla. This is major.
304
00:11:17,706 --> 00:11:20,340
Everyone will know that
Tyler Ratzberg has made it.
305
00:11:20,342 --> 00:11:22,875
Yeah. Hooray, Tyler Ratzberg.
306
00:11:22,877 --> 00:11:24,344
Man, I mean, even with the tax breaks,
307
00:11:24,346 --> 00:11:25,745
I never could have afforded this
308
00:11:25,747 --> 00:11:27,139
without you having to unload it.
309
00:11:27,178 --> 00:11:28,948
Now I can drive fast and everyone
310
00:11:28,950 --> 00:11:30,116
will think I'm helping the environment.
311
00:11:30,118 --> 00:11:32,018
Hey, man, take the key and shut up
312
00:11:32,020 --> 00:11:33,521
or I'm calling CarMax.
313
00:11:42,491 --> 00:11:45,506
When they're with you, it
all seems to make sense.
314
00:11:45,629 --> 00:11:49,102
Like, they break it
down so simple and clear.
315
00:11:49,104 --> 00:11:51,028
Now it seems crazy
316
00:11:51,052 --> 00:11:53,805
and that cross is heavy.
317
00:11:53,808 --> 00:11:55,942
Well, I suggest now you get back
318
00:11:55,944 --> 00:11:57,243
to your true calling, okay?
319
00:11:57,245 --> 00:11:58,811
Work on five tight minutes
320
00:11:58,813 --> 00:12:00,113
so you can get on late night talk shows.
321
00:12:00,115 --> 00:12:01,681
Kimmel or Fallon or somebody like that.
322
00:12:01,683 --> 00:12:03,916
And while you're doing
that, here's a great idea.
323
00:12:03,918 --> 00:12:05,318
You could help me with your hollas
324
00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:06,986
'cause I got a Kickstarter campaign.
325
00:12:06,988 --> 00:12:09,022
I'm trying to fund "Valleys" myself.
326
00:12:09,024 --> 00:12:10,723
I can do that. Maybe I can start out
327
00:12:10,725 --> 00:12:13,259
with a rant about the lack
of diversity in media, huh?
328
00:12:13,261 --> 00:12:15,161
- Just to get the ball rolling.
- All right.
329
00:12:15,779 --> 00:12:17,430
Keep an eye on that fool right there.
330
00:12:18,096 --> 00:12:20,233
Jefe, there's gonna
be a graduation ceremony,
331
00:12:20,235 --> 00:12:21,668
and because I'm valedictorian,
332
00:12:21,670 --> 00:12:22,869
I need to give a speech.
333
00:12:22,871 --> 00:12:24,137
Oh, man, that's awesome, dude.
334
00:12:24,139 --> 00:12:25,371
Hey, listen, if you get nervous, Manolo,
335
00:12:25,373 --> 00:12:27,073
picture everybody nak... No, don't,
336
00:12:27,075 --> 00:12:28,775
'cause I kind of know
who's gonna be there
337
00:12:28,777 --> 00:12:29,942
and we probably won't want to show up.
338
00:12:29,944 --> 00:12:30,979
[phone chimes]
339
00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:33,880
Hey, check this out.
340
00:12:33,882 --> 00:12:35,348
My Kickstarter campaign is kicking ass.
341
00:12:35,350 --> 00:12:37,050
Look at that. Coco posted,
342
00:12:37,052 --> 00:12:39,419
Maronzio hollaed, and
Hector's Abjackers...
343
00:12:39,421 --> 00:12:41,654
Look at that. They can't stop donating.
344
00:12:42,050 --> 00:12:43,466
It's all coming together.
345
00:12:43,709 --> 00:12:44,991
I'll go tell Lori.
346
00:12:44,993 --> 00:12:45,992
You want me to drive you?
347
00:12:45,994 --> 00:12:47,293
Oh, no. I'll drive myself.
348
00:12:47,295 --> 00:12:48,394
While I'm gone, you should probably
349
00:12:48,396 --> 00:12:50,063
just do something with this cross.
350
00:12:50,065 --> 00:12:51,731
Maybe stash it behind the treadmill,
351
00:12:51,733 --> 00:12:53,900
put some luggage over it, vacuum.
352
00:12:54,431 --> 00:12:55,414
All right.
353
00:12:56,852 --> 00:12:58,304
So, you were right. We raised the money
354
00:12:58,306 --> 00:13:00,907
- to make "Valleys."
- Oh, George, that is great news.
355
00:13:00,909 --> 00:13:02,442
- I am so happy for you.
- Thank you.
356
00:13:02,444 --> 00:13:04,510
I got a little good news today myself.
357
00:13:04,512 --> 00:13:07,180
I have closed funding on GVN London
358
00:13:07,182 --> 00:13:09,582
and it is my first step into Europe.
359
00:13:10,492 --> 00:13:12,518
Wow, that's... Ah, that's great.
360
00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:14,153
- Thank you.
- [clears throat] London, wow.
361
00:13:14,155 --> 00:13:16,189
You're not moving to London, are you?
362
00:13:16,191 --> 00:13:18,157
Well, I might have to.
363
00:13:18,159 --> 00:13:19,359
Richard's putting the money up,
364
00:13:19,361 --> 00:13:21,027
so he'll expect close oversight from me.
365
00:13:21,029 --> 00:13:22,929
- Richard?
- Richard Branson.
366
00:13:22,931 --> 00:13:24,230
- He's my partner.
- Yeah, I know.
367
00:13:24,232 --> 00:13:26,900
The guy with the rockets and the hair.
368
00:13:29,005 --> 00:13:30,603
- Is that a problem?
- No, of course not.
369
00:13:30,605 --> 00:13:33,306
It's... Hey, it's great. Congratulations.
370
00:13:33,308 --> 00:13:35,308
It's totally cool. It is...
371
00:13:35,310 --> 00:13:38,473
[clears throat] ...great and cool.
372
00:13:40,906 --> 00:13:42,048
Yeah.
373
00:13:43,408 --> 00:13:46,019
Wow. You sold the Tesla?
374
00:13:46,021 --> 00:13:48,054
And put the money into "Valleys."
375
00:13:48,356 --> 00:13:49,889
I'm a believer.
376
00:13:50,354 --> 00:13:51,958
- You loved that car.
- Yeah.
377
00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:53,393
Well, you're welcome, George.
378
00:13:53,882 --> 00:13:55,695
- Oh, I mean...
- [phone ringing]
379
00:13:56,212 --> 00:13:59,065
- That's okay.
- Oh. Oh, man,
380
00:13:59,067 --> 00:14:00,199
so check this out. So, Lori is opening
381
00:14:00,201 --> 00:14:02,201
the GVN in London, man.
382
00:14:02,793 --> 00:14:04,337
But, you know, I think it's good.
383
00:14:04,339 --> 00:14:05,990
You know, she's got her own plane.
384
00:14:06,052 --> 00:14:07,819
We learned something about London,
385
00:14:07,821 --> 00:14:09,954
but I forgot it as
soon as I took the test.
386
00:14:10,491 --> 00:14:13,831
- No! No freaking way! Damn it!
- What?
387
00:14:15,277 --> 00:14:16,786
"Valleys" is dead.
388
00:14:19,225 --> 00:14:21,076
They still own the rights to "Valleys,"
389
00:14:21,114 --> 00:14:22,413
and they're just gonna sit on it.
390
00:14:22,415 --> 00:14:25,049
- They can keep you from making it.
- Why is that?
391
00:14:25,051 --> 00:14:26,484
All the studios are like this
392
00:14:26,486 --> 00:14:27,652
ever since Warner Bros.
393
00:14:27,654 --> 00:14:29,353
let "Home Alone" go to Fox.
394
00:14:29,355 --> 00:14:31,789
It's like they gave their
competitors a billion dollars.
395
00:14:31,791 --> 00:14:33,224
So, that's it? They just sit on it
396
00:14:33,226 --> 00:14:35,426
and then everybody
forgets about "Valleys"?
397
00:14:35,428 --> 00:14:37,682
Yeah. That's what usually happens.
398
00:14:38,397 --> 00:14:39,713
So it's over?
399
00:14:40,299 --> 00:14:41,604
Sorry, jefe.
400
00:14:41,689 --> 00:14:45,635
No! No, it's not over,
because I'm driving
401
00:14:45,638 --> 00:14:49,173
a six-year-old Civic
with 100,000 miles on it
402
00:14:49,175 --> 00:14:51,542
and a rattle coming from somewhere
403
00:14:51,544 --> 00:14:52,977
I can't even figure out,
404
00:14:52,979 --> 00:14:55,480
and I'm not doing that for nothing.
405
00:14:56,152 --> 00:14:58,312
Hah! It is not over.
406
00:15:06,148 --> 00:15:08,526
- Hey.
- Hey.
407
00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:11,020
I heard about "Valleys." That sucks.
408
00:15:11,075 --> 00:15:12,430
Yeah, it really does,
409
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:14,799
but I'm gonna find some
way to make it work.
410
00:15:15,130 --> 00:15:17,378
You really should. It's a super-cool vis.
411
00:15:18,669 --> 00:15:20,896
And I'm really sorry
if I twisted things up.
412
00:15:21,952 --> 00:15:25,701
That's... Yeah. Thanks.
413
00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:29,015
I forgive you.
414
00:15:29,950 --> 00:15:31,883
I know your heart was in the right place,
415
00:15:31,885 --> 00:15:34,919
even if your body was in the wrong one...
416
00:15:34,921 --> 00:15:36,387
- repeatedly.
- [laughing]
417
00:15:36,389 --> 00:15:39,123
Jason has been getting
a ton of job offers.
418
00:15:39,125 --> 00:15:41,059
He's basically a hero
because he wanted to do
419
00:15:41,061 --> 00:15:43,861
the good version of
"Valleys." He owes you.
420
00:15:43,863 --> 00:15:45,963
Liking that script is
what got him so much heat.
421
00:15:45,965 --> 00:15:47,298
No, that just started the ball rolling.
422
00:15:47,300 --> 00:15:49,033
George is what caused so much heat.
423
00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:50,902
He is everywhere, isn't he?
424
00:15:50,904 --> 00:15:52,970
Oh, did you know that
UCB is doing this, like,
425
00:15:52,972 --> 00:15:56,574
ironic stage performance of
the bad version of "Valleys"
426
00:15:56,576 --> 00:15:58,678
- and it's selling out.
- Whoa.
427
00:16:01,219 --> 00:16:02,899
I have some calls to make.
428
00:16:04,138 --> 00:16:06,786
- Do you want to help?
- Yeah.
429
00:16:10,323 --> 00:16:12,523
- [applause]
- And the one person
430
00:16:12,525 --> 00:16:13,884
I really need to thank...
431
00:16:16,002 --> 00:16:17,478
- is Wendy...
- [applause]
432
00:16:19,189 --> 00:16:21,265
who helped me and made
me believe in myself.
433
00:16:21,715 --> 00:16:23,290
- Thank you.
- [applause]
434
00:16:25,572 --> 00:16:27,572
And finally, jefe.
435
00:16:28,825 --> 00:16:30,035
George Lopez,
436
00:16:31,836 --> 00:16:33,478
thank you for being my best friend.
437
00:16:34,629 --> 00:16:37,042
[applause]
438
00:16:40,683 --> 00:16:43,424
Damn, that's the nicest
speech Shakey's has ever had.
439
00:16:43,449 --> 00:16:45,957
- I'm so proud of you, Manolo.
- Thank you.
440
00:16:45,959 --> 00:16:47,792
The rest of you, meet
me at the claw machine
441
00:16:47,794 --> 00:16:49,378
to get your certificates.
442
00:16:50,597 --> 00:16:52,626
- Nice job, Chico.
- Thank you.
443
00:16:53,533 --> 00:16:54,966
I was wondering
444
00:16:54,968 --> 00:16:57,204
if you want to be my birthing partner.
445
00:16:58,838 --> 00:16:59,806
Think about it.
446
00:17:02,029 --> 00:17:04,308
Oh, man, I knew you could do it, brother.
447
00:17:04,728 --> 00:17:06,644
Yeah, you did, even when I didn't.
448
00:17:07,530 --> 00:17:09,180
So, jefe, now
that I've graduated...
449
00:17:09,182 --> 00:17:10,648
I know. I was expecting this.
450
00:17:10,650 --> 00:17:12,016
Kind of, you want to get a job
451
00:17:12,018 --> 00:17:13,151
and get into the workplace?
452
00:17:13,153 --> 00:17:15,119
No. I want to do more for you.
453
00:17:15,121 --> 00:17:17,121
Yeah? Like what? Like be my assistant?
454
00:17:17,123 --> 00:17:19,323
- Heck, yeah.
- Wow. All right.
455
00:17:19,325 --> 00:17:21,059
Well, I'm not sure how much
there is to assist with,
456
00:17:21,061 --> 00:17:22,360
'cause "Valleys" is dead and stuff,
457
00:17:22,362 --> 00:17:24,729
but you've got the job
under one condition.
458
00:17:24,731 --> 00:17:27,224
I'm giving you a raise. Oh!
459
00:17:27,834 --> 00:17:30,735
All right. You probably
need to go find Wendy.
460
00:17:32,003 --> 00:17:33,604
Thanks for the adjustment.
461
00:17:33,606 --> 00:17:34,906
- George.
- Hey, where you been?
462
00:17:34,908 --> 00:17:36,374
- You missed the whole thing.
- What? No way.
463
00:17:36,376 --> 00:17:38,309
- I've been watching from the back...
- Oh!
464
00:17:38,311 --> 00:17:41,879
while fielding phone
calls from Amazon and HBO.
465
00:17:41,881 --> 00:17:43,748
About what? "Valleys" is dead.
466
00:17:43,750 --> 00:17:44,982
Well, "Valleys" might be dead,
467
00:17:44,984 --> 00:17:47,085
but you are very much alive
468
00:17:47,087 --> 00:17:48,453
and they all know it.
469
00:17:48,455 --> 00:17:50,688
Did you know Coco put
you up for a GLAAD award
470
00:17:50,690 --> 00:17:53,891
for your strong defense of
the transgender community?
471
00:17:54,397 --> 00:17:56,461
- George, you are trending.
- Really?
472
00:17:56,463 --> 00:17:57,662
You have connected
473
00:17:57,664 --> 00:18:00,431
with the most diverse
demo I have ever seen.
474
00:18:00,433 --> 00:18:03,301
Latinos, African-Americans, millennials,
475
00:18:03,303 --> 00:18:06,904
LGBT, QISes and ASes, and hipsters.
476
00:18:06,906 --> 00:18:08,306
Oh, don't forget angry white people.
477
00:18:08,308 --> 00:18:09,407
Oh, that's right.
478
00:18:09,795 --> 00:18:12,643
George Lopez, you are a relevant.
479
00:18:12,645 --> 00:18:14,312
Wow. Wow, I'm relevant.
480
00:18:14,314 --> 00:18:16,748
And I did it without Brooklyn or anal.
481
00:18:16,750 --> 00:18:18,316
Yeah, exactly.
482
00:18:18,318 --> 00:18:21,285
Everyone wants in on the
George Lopez business.
483
00:18:21,287 --> 00:18:23,688
You can do whatever you want.
484
00:18:24,423 --> 00:18:26,623
Well, Olly, you know what?
You've done a great job.
485
00:18:26,626 --> 00:18:29,001
I truly, truly appreciate it.
486
00:18:30,611 --> 00:18:31,840
[phone ringing]
487
00:18:31,865 --> 00:18:34,565
Oh! Hold that thought. Hulu is calling.
488
00:18:34,567 --> 00:18:36,498
Hello. Please hold for Olly.
489
00:18:37,678 --> 00:18:39,272
I knew that. I knew it.
490
00:18:39,895 --> 00:18:41,128
Congratulations, George.
491
00:18:41,130 --> 00:18:42,977
[laughing] Oh, thanks, Maronzio.
492
00:18:43,002 --> 00:18:45,235
You don't seem like a guy
who's on top of the world.
493
00:18:46,331 --> 00:18:47,556
No, I don't, do I?
494
00:18:47,973 --> 00:18:50,161
I kind of wish Lori was
here to see this. Very sweet.
495
00:18:50,602 --> 00:18:52,063
So do something about it.
496
00:18:52,065 --> 00:18:54,232
Look, I know you're being casual,
497
00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:56,100
but I lost Shandra by being casual.
498
00:18:56,102 --> 00:18:57,802
I was walking around with a cross
499
00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:59,270
because I was being casual.
500
00:18:59,272 --> 00:19:01,105
I think this is what Lori wants.
501
00:19:01,107 --> 00:19:03,041
- Is this what you want?
- No.
502
00:19:03,043 --> 00:19:04,142
You know, when I'm with her,
503
00:19:04,144 --> 00:19:07,160
I kind of feel like she wants more.
504
00:19:07,204 --> 00:19:08,542
Then do something about it.
505
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:12,917
Yeah. You know, I'm gonna find her,
506
00:19:12,919 --> 00:19:14,052
and I'm gonna tell her
507
00:19:14,054 --> 00:19:16,087
that I'm tired of living like this
508
00:19:16,089 --> 00:19:17,155
and I don't want to be alone,
509
00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:18,823
and I want her today, tomorrow,
510
00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:21,259
and for the rest of my life.
511
00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:22,927
What's she gonna do? Say no?
512
00:19:23,306 --> 00:19:25,401
I'm relevant. [laughing]
513
00:19:31,672 --> 00:19:33,172
So, Lori, I'm tired of pretending
514
00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:34,505
I have all the answers, 'cause I don't,
515
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,607
and I'm tired of making people believe
516
00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:38,629
I can do everything by myself. I can't.
517
00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:41,746
I don't want to live
like that anymore, Lori.
518
00:19:41,748 --> 00:19:45,016
I'm tired and I don't
want to be alone anymore.
519
00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:47,352
- George.
- I want you, Lori,
520
00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:48,653
and I will do whatever it takes
521
00:19:48,655 --> 00:19:49,884
to prove that to you.
522
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,294
Oh, George.
523
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,529
I can't be happier to
hear what you're saying.
524
00:20:00,586 --> 00:20:03,252
You are going to love London.
525
00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:06,465
Oh.
526
00:20:06,515 --> 00:20:11,065
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