Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:12,915 --> 00:00:14,154
So...
2
00:00:15,355 --> 00:00:18,074
- What do you think?
- Yeah, it's good.
3
00:00:19,485 --> 00:00:21,074
What, that's it?
4
00:00:22,340 --> 00:00:24,834
What do you want, Leon? An ovation?
5
00:00:24,835 --> 00:00:28,794
'Oh, yeah, let's all just stand up
and clap everybody all the time(!)
6
00:00:28,795 --> 00:00:30,994
'Hey, Meryl, what a
powerful performance.
7
00:00:30,995 --> 00:00:33,234
'Congratulations on your
Nobel prize, mu-la-la. '
8
00:00:35,275 --> 00:00:38,034
Katie, we broke ourselves
getting that ready.
9
00:00:38,035 --> 00:00:40,594
A race game based around the
streams of pressure washers
10
00:00:40,595 --> 00:00:42,553
- is totally original.
- Sure it is.
11
00:00:42,673 --> 00:00:45,474
And you've got five days to
get it ready for the Games Expo.
12
00:00:45,475 --> 00:00:47,114
Are you vaping in a sauna?
13
00:00:47,115 --> 00:00:49,954
All right, Leon, you're
playing golf with me at 2:15,
14
00:00:49,955 --> 00:00:52,033
you and I need to have a little talk.
15
00:00:52,153 --> 00:00:53,799
- Oh... oh, yeah?
- Now,
16
00:00:53,919 --> 00:00:57,743
back to your spinning wheels, my
clever little Rumpelstiltskin fucks.
17
00:01:00,733 --> 00:01:03,835
- Nothing's ever enough for her.
- Who cares if Katie doesn't like it?
18
00:01:03,955 --> 00:01:05,714
I like it. She's probably just bitter
19
00:01:05,715 --> 00:01:08,514
because we're not going to
pump out a lazy sequel.
20
00:01:08,515 --> 00:01:11,154
No, it was just faulty wiring in
one of her pleasure receptacles.
21
00:01:11,155 --> 00:01:13,274
Yeah, you're right. Who
cares what she thinks?
22
00:01:13,394 --> 00:01:16,237
What do you reckon she wants
to talk to about? Sounds shadowy.
23
00:01:16,357 --> 00:01:18,595
She's probably ready
to shed her human skin
24
00:01:18,607 --> 00:01:20,797
- and reveal her lizard form.
- We just need to make sure
25
00:01:20,809 --> 00:01:22,856
we get a build of the
game ready for the Expo.
26
00:01:22,976 --> 00:01:24,754
Mate, getting a fully
working beta by then
27
00:01:24,874 --> 00:01:26,994
is going to place incredible
strain on the coding team.
28
00:01:26,995 --> 00:01:29,554
Also, I had arranged to see
Cameron this afternoon.
29
00:01:29,555 --> 00:01:31,834
Cool. So it's official, then?
He's your boyfriend?
30
00:01:31,835 --> 00:01:34,434
Yep. That's what I'm
calling him, anyway.
31
00:01:34,435 --> 00:01:36,794
In my head, he's my boyfriend.
32
00:01:36,795 --> 00:01:39,511
Ewan, mate, this matters.
33
00:01:39,631 --> 00:01:42,794
We need a demo of the game that
works so when I'm up on that stage,
34
00:01:42,795 --> 00:01:44,994
it doesn't glitch, and
it doesn't go wrong.
35
00:01:44,995 --> 00:01:47,182
Everything rests on this.
36
00:01:47,915 --> 00:01:49,517
That's why I you...
37
00:01:50,275 --> 00:01:52,650
... and only you, the Moby of coding.
38
00:01:53,955 --> 00:01:55,884
I suppose I am the movie of coding.
39
00:01:56,004 --> 00:01:58,388
Hey! Thanks, mate. Right.
40
00:01:58,508 --> 00:02:01,110
The rest of us might as well take
the afternoon off. No point in
41
00:02:01,230 --> 00:02:04,075
sitting around, watching
the back of Ewan's head.
42
00:02:04,195 --> 00:02:06,336
I could always shave my hair off
43
00:02:06,456 --> 00:02:09,215
- and draw my face on the back of it.
- [MOBILE RINGS]
44
00:02:11,555 --> 00:02:12,674
Yep?
45
00:02:16,715 --> 00:02:18,797
You are shitting me.
46
00:02:45,608 --> 00:02:48,741
- Synced and corrected by medvidecek007 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
47
00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:55,474
Boys!
48
00:02:55,475 --> 00:02:58,615
I've just had a call from the Red
List. They're putting me on it.
49
00:02:58,735 --> 00:03:01,554
Top 100 most influential
people in media.
50
00:03:01,674 --> 00:03:04,354
- [HE LAUGHS]
- No way. You?
51
00:03:04,355 --> 00:03:06,586
Yeah. Number 71.
52
00:03:06,706 --> 00:03:09,154
Two places higher than Arran
Yentob, whoever the fuck that is.
53
00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:11,167
Alan. Alan Yentob.
54
00:03:11,287 --> 00:03:13,194
You're joining the media elite and
55
00:03:13,195 --> 00:03:15,674
you don't even know who Alan Yentob is?
56
00:03:15,675 --> 00:03:17,994
- That's unbelievable.
- This is great!
57
00:03:17,995 --> 00:03:19,834
God, I feel so validated.
58
00:03:19,954 --> 00:03:21,579
I'm sorry, but does this strike
59
00:03:21,699 --> 00:03:24,396
anyone else as total bullshit?
60
00:03:25,110 --> 00:03:27,228
OK, I should probably qualify that.
61
00:03:27,348 --> 00:03:29,754
I'm quite tired and my blood sugar
levels are dangerously low.
62
00:03:29,755 --> 00:03:32,248
- Have a Jaffa, mate.
- Thank you, Watto.
63
00:03:32,562 --> 00:03:34,434
But all the work is done,
64
00:03:34,435 --> 00:03:36,760
an 80-hour week getting the game ready,
65
00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:39,114
and you're just standing
over us like "Oh, type faster."
66
00:03:39,115 --> 00:03:41,674
Not, "I'm sorry, Leon, but it's
a little wrong, that's all."
67
00:03:41,675 --> 00:03:44,194
A little wrong, and a little unfair.
And now the sugar is starting
68
00:03:44,314 --> 00:03:46,904
to hit and I'm feeling
like maybe it's just fine.
69
00:03:48,763 --> 00:03:51,643
Come on, Josh, you've got
to admit. You said it yourself,
70
00:03:51,763 --> 00:03:54,267
- the game's great.
- Yeah, and what part of that was you?
71
00:03:54,387 --> 00:03:56,421
Uh, the idea.
72
00:03:56,541 --> 00:03:59,835
- Watto came up with the idea.
- Yeah, on my boat.
73
00:03:59,955 --> 00:04:02,962
- On my acid.
- I haven't forgiven you for that.
74
00:04:03,082 --> 00:04:06,154
You know, cos it was amazing,
and I loved it, every minute,
75
00:04:06,155 --> 00:04:07,834
- you're a bastard.
- It was an accident.
76
00:04:07,835 --> 00:04:09,437
- A happy accident.
- Right,
77
00:04:09,557 --> 00:04:12,026
- I'm going to go and see Abi.
- Cool. How about the cinema?
78
00:04:12,146 --> 00:04:14,265
- Yeah, maybe.
- Good, I'll get the tickets.
79
00:04:14,385 --> 00:04:16,297
We can get the big seats,
and I'll bring a blanket.
80
00:04:16,417 --> 00:04:18,635
Well, no, it would just be me and Abi.
81
00:04:18,755 --> 00:04:22,303
That's OK. I just don't really
like unscheduled days off.
82
00:04:22,811 --> 00:04:25,554
I have to keep busy. Otherwise,
I get in my own head,
83
00:04:25,555 --> 00:04:28,474
and it is a vast Turbine Hall,
84
00:04:28,475 --> 00:04:30,989
filled with weird art
and bad intentions.
85
00:04:31,635 --> 00:04:34,354
Sorry, mate, but we're
meeting for lunch.
86
00:04:34,355 --> 00:04:35,754
So, bye.
87
00:04:35,755 --> 00:04:38,430
Can't wait to see what Casey
says about this. I'm on the list!
88
00:04:38,550 --> 00:04:41,375
[HE GRUNTS] Leon? Can I
play golf with you? I love golf.
89
00:04:41,495 --> 00:04:43,927
Watto, you know it's not the
one with the windmills, don't you?
90
00:04:44,047 --> 00:04:46,707
No, no, no, no. This
is executive-level shit.
91
00:04:48,035 --> 00:04:49,525
Oh. Fine.
92
00:04:50,755 --> 00:04:52,864
I'll find something
else to do. [HE SNIFFS]
93
00:04:53,142 --> 00:04:54,630
Don't even worry about me.
94
00:04:58,292 --> 00:05:00,566
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Don't stop typing.
95
00:05:00,686 --> 00:05:02,369
We're going to conquer the world, mate.
96
00:05:02,489 --> 00:05:05,594
Me and you - Genghis Khan
and his trusty horse.
97
00:05:07,355 --> 00:05:08,674
Yeah, ride it!
98
00:05:08,675 --> 00:05:10,034
Woo!
I'm on the list
99
00:05:10,035 --> 00:05:12,261
-
I'm on the list...
- Stupid man.
100
00:05:12,381 --> 00:05:14,634
Shake it till you make it...
101
00:05:14,635 --> 00:05:15,800
I made it!
102
00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:17,082
[HE CACKLES]
103
00:05:22,275 --> 00:05:24,454
Those lists are bollocks
anyway. They're arbitrary.
104
00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:27,034
It's like, 'Which is
better - potato salad,
105
00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:29,714
'Edward Snowden, or the javelin?'
106
00:05:29,715 --> 00:05:31,375
You're right. You're right.
107
00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:34,921
It's the javelin, though, on
balance. Because Snowden
108
00:05:35,041 --> 00:05:38,162
is a moment in time, and
potato salad can just do one.
109
00:05:38,282 --> 00:05:41,274
- Ah!
- I've always wanted to try these.
110
00:05:41,275 --> 00:05:45,034
The trick is with oysters,
just a dab of Tabasco,
111
00:05:45,035 --> 00:05:46,845
and no chewing.
112
00:05:47,522 --> 00:05:48,634
Mm.
113
00:05:49,639 --> 00:05:51,087
Oh, yeah, they're...
114
00:05:51,449 --> 00:05:52,994
really, briny.
115
00:05:52,995 --> 00:05:54,316
[HE GROANS]
116
00:05:55,715 --> 00:05:56,808
Here goes.
117
00:06:00,596 --> 00:06:02,255
Oh, my God!
118
00:06:02,375 --> 00:06:04,032
- Yeah.
- That's amazing.
119
00:06:04,152 --> 00:06:06,560
Yeah, they're special. They're unusual.
120
00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:08,907
Yeah, that... That's vinaigrette.
121
00:06:10,726 --> 00:06:12,022
Try that way.
122
00:06:12,142 --> 00:06:14,150
- It is fucking brilliant.
- Yeah.
123
00:06:15,396 --> 00:06:17,554
[SHE SLURPS NOISILY]
124
00:06:19,711 --> 00:06:21,779
You might want to slow down on
125
00:06:21,899 --> 00:06:24,416
- the old oyster slammers there.
- It's fine, I'm not eating later.
126
00:06:24,536 --> 00:06:26,834
Right. I was thinking maybe we
could go to the cinema, then,
127
00:06:26,835 --> 00:06:29,191
- because I've got the afternoon off.
- Um, I got to go to this speed
128
00:06:29,311 --> 00:06:32,251
funding thing. It's speed
dating, but for investors.
129
00:06:32,371 --> 00:06:34,074
Pitch them the idea, try to
130
00:06:34,075 --> 00:06:36,434
- raise the money.
- Abi, I know speed funding, OK?
131
00:06:36,435 --> 00:06:39,274
And it's dehumanizing and tawdry.
132
00:06:39,275 --> 00:06:42,354
It's essentially the start-up version
of a human trafficking ring, OK?
133
00:06:42,355 --> 00:06:44,794
So let me spare you the indignity,
and just take my money.
134
00:06:44,795 --> 00:06:48,194
Josh, how many times? I
don't want your money.
135
00:06:48,195 --> 00:06:50,699
It wouldn't be a pity
investment, all right?
136
00:06:50,819 --> 00:06:53,155
I believe in Squat Bot.
137
00:06:53,275 --> 00:06:55,682
Mm-hm. Which part of
it do you believe in?
138
00:06:56,995 --> 00:06:59,691
- The idea bit.
- You know?
139
00:06:59,811 --> 00:07:02,354
Rightmove for squatters.
Squatters need apps, too.
140
00:07:02,355 --> 00:07:05,874
- They're not monsters.
- Josh, I'm not taking your money.
141
00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:08,709
Do I look all right, though?
142
00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:10,428
I need to look good if I'm going to
143
00:07:10,548 --> 00:07:13,274
attract the right kind of investors.
144
00:07:13,275 --> 00:07:15,714
You look bloody great.
145
00:07:15,715 --> 00:07:17,154
I do look pretty good.
146
00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:19,634
[HER STOMACH WHINES]
147
00:07:19,635 --> 00:07:20,834
[SHE GROANS]
148
00:07:22,435 --> 00:07:25,194
OK, I think I just OD'd on oysters.
149
00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:26,355
[SHE GAGS]
150
00:07:26,475 --> 00:07:28,954
I feel like I just drank
a gallon of whale jizz.
151
00:07:28,955 --> 00:07:30,590
[SHE GAGS]
152
00:07:39,715 --> 00:07:41,674
Callum, you found it OK?
153
00:07:42,995 --> 00:07:45,957
It was fine. The guy
brought me straight here.
154
00:07:46,077 --> 00:07:48,586
- Great, well, welcome to the office.
- Ewan, next time
155
00:07:48,706 --> 00:07:50,618
he's in a motorcycle courier
to pick me up, could you
156
00:07:50,738 --> 00:07:52,783
- at least tell me about first?
- Oh, did I not?
157
00:07:52,903 --> 00:07:55,234
I felt like I was being abducted
by a Romanian street gang.
158
00:07:55,235 --> 00:07:56,948
I just really wanted to see you, and I
159
00:07:57,068 --> 00:07:58,737
had to keep working on the game, so...
160
00:07:58,738 --> 00:08:01,762
Now, if you wouldn't mind hanging
around for, like, two or three
161
00:08:01,882 --> 00:08:04,940
- hours max, and I'll be right with you.
- Are you being serious?
162
00:08:05,060 --> 00:08:07,733
Well, if I don't talk, might be
able to get it done quicker, so...
163
00:08:07,853 --> 00:08:09,499
You abducted me and brought
164
00:08:09,619 --> 00:08:11,873
me halfway across London
so I could watch you...
165
00:08:11,993 --> 00:08:14,232
- Do that?
- Or... I mean, maybe I could print
166
00:08:14,352 --> 00:08:16,445
- you out a word search.
- [HE SCOFFS]
167
00:08:18,275 --> 00:08:20,074
Where are the other three, then?
168
00:08:20,075 --> 00:08:22,729
The wanker, the whiny guy and the hobo?
169
00:08:22,849 --> 00:08:24,714
Oh, I know this.
170
00:08:24,715 --> 00:08:27,594
Um... Leon, Josh, Watto.
171
00:08:27,595 --> 00:08:30,637
- They've got the afternoon off.
- You're the only one working?
172
00:08:30,757 --> 00:08:32,914
Heavy is the head that wears the crown.
173
00:08:32,915 --> 00:08:34,507
OK, so...
174
00:08:34,627 --> 00:08:35,960
You're the king?
175
00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:38,154
I'm a co-king. There are four kings.
176
00:08:38,155 --> 00:08:40,194
I'm basically fourth-in-line
for the throne.
177
00:08:40,195 --> 00:08:41,668
I'm Prince Andrew.
178
00:08:41,886 --> 00:08:43,471
Why aren't you in that picture?
179
00:08:44,235 --> 00:08:48,358
Oh, I got shingles from a bath towel
the day before the photo shoot.
180
00:08:48,955 --> 00:08:51,154
I tell you what else is heavy, Ewan.
181
00:08:51,155 --> 00:08:54,434
Heavy is the shoe that
wipes on the doormat.
182
00:08:54,435 --> 00:08:57,235
- Yeah, yeah, sorry. No, I am listening.
- [CALLUM LAUGHS]
183
00:08:57,355 --> 00:08:59,154
You don't see it?
184
00:08:59,155 --> 00:09:01,703
- They're taking advantage of you.
- Give me two hours,
185
00:09:01,823 --> 00:09:04,291
- and you can take advantage of me.
- Ewan...
186
00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:06,492
You're being exploited.
187
00:09:06,995 --> 00:09:09,074
I'm not being exploited.
188
00:09:09,075 --> 00:09:11,634
I'm actually very important around here.
189
00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:13,114
- What's in here?
- Ah,
190
00:09:13,234 --> 00:09:15,569
OK, no, don't go in
there. That's Leon's office.
191
00:09:16,275 --> 00:09:18,434
- Where's yours?
- Yeah, I don't... have one.
192
00:09:18,435 --> 00:09:19,994
You don't have an office?
193
00:09:21,275 --> 00:09:22,994
Then, let's get you one.
194
00:09:22,995 --> 00:09:25,242
OK, um, yeah. Oh, God.
195
00:09:25,362 --> 00:09:27,153
Soz, but, no.
196
00:09:27,938 --> 00:09:30,031
_
197
00:09:33,075 --> 00:09:36,444
Hello, mate. Um, would you
like to come fishing with me?
198
00:09:37,001 --> 00:09:40,304
Sorry. Adam Watson. Would you
like to come fishing with me?
199
00:09:40,424 --> 00:09:42,990
I don't really know how you
do it, but I bought a book on it,
200
00:09:43,110 --> 00:09:45,595
- and it's got some instructions.
- Sorry, can you leave me alone?
201
00:09:45,715 --> 00:09:48,594
I surely can. Enjoy
looking in that window.
202
00:09:53,056 --> 00:09:54,822
_
203
00:10:03,205 --> 00:10:04,427
[DOG BARKS]
204
00:10:13,555 --> 00:10:15,232
Massive, massive dog.
205
00:10:17,195 --> 00:10:19,478
- Where's your owner, big guy?
- [DOG WHINES]
206
00:10:20,875 --> 00:10:23,337
Not a big talker, eh? That's OK.
207
00:10:24,195 --> 00:10:25,598
Me neither, really.
208
00:10:25,718 --> 00:10:27,794
[DOG WHINES]
209
00:10:27,795 --> 00:10:29,578
OK, I got you.
210
00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:43,112
OK, Leon...
211
00:10:44,235 --> 00:10:47,381
... you better find a lawyer who
specialises in spousal abuse.
212
00:10:47,501 --> 00:10:49,872
Because you're about to
get beaten by a woman.
213
00:10:55,168 --> 00:10:56,318
Oh.
214
00:10:56,438 --> 00:10:57,994
That could be better.
215
00:10:57,995 --> 00:11:00,938
- Listen, I got a call this morning.
- It's your shot, Leon.
216
00:11:06,915 --> 00:11:08,570
Whoa, whoa. Hang on, hang on.
217
00:11:08,690 --> 00:11:10,312
I thought you said you played?
218
00:11:10,432 --> 00:11:12,296
Yeah. I'm a street golf
219
00:11:12,416 --> 00:11:14,546
kind of guy. You know, freestyle.
220
00:11:14,666 --> 00:11:17,154
OK, hang on. Just a minute.
Put your feet together.
221
00:11:17,155 --> 00:11:20,354
All right. Shoulder-width apart. Put
you're back at a 45-degree angle.
222
00:11:20,355 --> 00:11:22,074
Bend your knees a little, OK?
223
00:11:22,075 --> 00:11:25,554
Loosen the hips. Submit to,
mommy. Come on, huh? Relax.
224
00:11:25,555 --> 00:11:27,994
The Red List called. I'm on it.
225
00:11:27,995 --> 00:11:32,076
- Number 71, I'm on the list.
- Well, well! Huh?
226
00:11:32,196 --> 00:11:35,208
That is great. Yeah, just come
see me when you break the top 30,
227
00:11:35,328 --> 00:11:38,435
cos that's where I've been for
the last eight years straight.
228
00:11:38,555 --> 00:11:40,194
I have to get in touch with Naomi.
229
00:11:40,314 --> 00:11:43,354
I have a feeling this is the
year where I crack the top five.
230
00:11:43,355 --> 00:11:44,994
God, 71, that's funny.
231
00:11:44,995 --> 00:11:48,074
I didn't even realise
the list went that low.
232
00:11:48,075 --> 00:11:50,274
Be sure to say hi to
Richard Bacon for me.
233
00:11:50,275 --> 00:11:53,033
No, no, your feet are wrong again. Ow!
234
00:11:53,153 --> 00:11:55,274
[SHE MOANS]
235
00:11:55,275 --> 00:11:56,474
You idiot!
236
00:12:00,035 --> 00:12:02,912
Babe, you can barely tell,
to be honest with you.
237
00:12:03,032 --> 00:12:04,604
Show me.
238
00:12:12,515 --> 00:12:14,124
Pass me a syringe, please.
239
00:12:14,910 --> 00:12:16,000
What for?
240
00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:18,253
Because I'm going to go
out into the countryside,
241
00:12:18,673 --> 00:12:21,271
go into a field and find a
cow with mad cow disease.
242
00:12:21,391 --> 00:12:24,174
And I'm going to plunge it right
into her crazy cow ass, and I'm
243
00:12:24,175 --> 00:12:27,174
going to come here and inject
it into your fucking eye, Leon.
244
00:12:27,175 --> 00:12:29,642
Mad cow, right in the eye.
245
00:12:29,975 --> 00:12:32,174
Do not make the oops face, motherfucker!
246
00:12:32,175 --> 00:12:34,592
We'll give you a prescription
for some painkillers.
247
00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:37,534
You see, this is why you're
only number 71, Leon.
248
00:12:37,535 --> 00:12:40,385
A golf club. It's like
a fucking cartoon.
249
00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:42,864
Ow, ow, ow!
250
00:12:45,135 --> 00:12:47,614
Oh! What about the party tonight?
251
00:12:47,615 --> 00:12:50,146
- What party?
- The Red List, Leon.
252
00:12:50,266 --> 00:12:52,974
They throw a party tonight to
announce the top 100, and I can't
253
00:12:52,975 --> 00:12:56,428
show up looking like someone
dropped steak tartare on my face.
254
00:12:58,481 --> 00:13:01,174
Just tell Naomi to stop
by later with my laptop.
255
00:13:01,175 --> 00:13:03,134
I'll be working at home until such
256
00:13:03,135 --> 00:13:05,896
time as I no longer have
tampons in my nose.
257
00:13:08,295 --> 00:13:10,014
I'll just wait in the lobby, shall I?
258
00:13:10,015 --> 00:13:12,334
Maybe we can catch a late
showing, or something.
259
00:13:12,335 --> 00:13:13,774
Look at this.
260
00:13:13,775 --> 00:13:15,574
So this is speed-funding, is it?
261
00:13:15,575 --> 00:13:18,414
It's basically corporate
and non-sexy lap dancing.
262
00:13:21,535 --> 00:13:23,174
Let's just go.
263
00:13:23,175 --> 00:13:25,371
Wait, this could be good for you.
264
00:13:25,775 --> 00:13:27,054
You know?
265
00:13:27,055 --> 00:13:29,414
We all have to whore
ourselves a little bit.
266
00:13:29,415 --> 00:13:31,419
Heaven knows, I had to flash Casey
267
00:13:31,539 --> 00:13:33,894
a bit of nipple during the
whole courting process.
268
00:13:33,895 --> 00:13:35,605
I might stick around.
269
00:13:35,725 --> 00:13:37,988
Maybe I can do a bit
of investing myself.
270
00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:40,254
Thanks, Josh.
271
00:13:49,975 --> 00:13:52,694
- Abi from Squat Bot.
- Graham Bailey from Trial Equity.
272
00:13:52,695 --> 00:13:54,254
- Duncan.
- Josh.
273
00:13:54,255 --> 00:13:56,245
- Pitch me.
- OK, well,
274
00:13:56,365 --> 00:13:58,855
it's basically Right
Move, but for squatters.
275
00:13:58,975 --> 00:14:02,254
I've got an idea for an app where
you sell your leftover dinners.
276
00:14:02,255 --> 00:14:03,822
It's called Left Ovr.
277
00:14:03,942 --> 00:14:06,119
Like "leftover", but without the E,
278
00:14:06,239 --> 00:14:07,958
cos someone already had the E.
279
00:14:15,216 --> 00:14:18,054
Please, I've got to get back
to my terminal. Just, please.
280
00:14:18,055 --> 00:14:19,894
I'm not going anywhere, Ewan.
281
00:14:19,895 --> 00:14:22,732
This is Occupy. Sexy Occupy.
282
00:14:24,095 --> 00:14:25,599
Let's have a fuck-in.
283
00:14:25,719 --> 00:14:27,354
A fuck-in?
284
00:14:27,474 --> 00:14:30,548
We fuck in Leon's office until
such time as he gives you an
285
00:14:30,668 --> 00:14:33,107
- office of your own.
- Calum, there are only two offices!
286
00:14:33,227 --> 00:14:35,900
- Fine, then he gives you the other one!
- No, because that's Casey's,
287
00:14:36,020 --> 00:14:40,292
and if I'm Prince Andrew, then she's
the vengeful spirit of Henry VIII.
288
00:14:44,356 --> 00:14:46,509
Wow. All right. I will...
289
00:14:46,629 --> 00:14:48,772
OK. When Leon gets back, I will
290
00:14:48,892 --> 00:14:51,336
confront him about
the office, all right?
291
00:14:52,255 --> 00:14:54,074
Pull up your drawers.
292
00:14:56,175 --> 00:14:57,775
There's my Ewan.
293
00:14:59,759 --> 00:15:02,454
OK. Crack on with the code.
294
00:15:02,455 --> 00:15:05,974
Ooh, quick cube sweep.
295
00:15:13,256 --> 00:15:15,942
Like, obviously, gravy
presents some challenges,
296
00:15:16,062 --> 00:15:18,712
in terms of keeping it warm
and not getting the skin on top.
297
00:15:18,832 --> 00:15:20,236
- Mmm.
-[GONG SOUNDS]
298
00:15:20,356 --> 00:15:22,414
OK, Duncan, thanks
very much. Off you go.
299
00:15:22,415 --> 00:15:24,288
Aren't you meant to go?
300
00:15:29,895 --> 00:15:32,014
Yes. Yes, I am.
301
00:15:34,815 --> 00:15:36,774
Excuse me.
302
00:15:36,775 --> 00:15:38,734
Why haven't they stop talking?
303
00:15:38,735 --> 00:15:42,047
They're supposed to have
stopped talking by now.
304
00:15:43,255 --> 00:15:45,422
It's really good to meet you.
305
00:15:53,895 --> 00:15:55,414
Josh, what are you doing?
306
00:15:55,415 --> 00:15:58,655
- I told you, I don't want your money.
- He groped you.
307
00:15:58,775 --> 00:16:01,094
- What, Graham?
- Graham.
308
00:16:01,095 --> 00:16:02,821
Graham groped your boob.
309
00:16:02,941 --> 00:16:05,652
- No, he didn't.
- I saw it, Abi, all right?
310
00:16:05,772 --> 00:16:08,254
He went like this... And
then he went like this.
311
00:16:08,255 --> 00:16:10,386
Well, now you've just groped my boob.
312
00:16:10,506 --> 00:16:12,817
I saw it. I saw your boob jiggle.
313
00:16:12,937 --> 00:16:14,494
All right, he grazed it.
314
00:16:14,495 --> 00:16:17,780
He grazed my right tit with
the tip of his fingers.
315
00:16:17,900 --> 00:16:20,695
- Thank you! Where is he?
- Don't you dare.
316
00:16:20,815 --> 00:16:23,779
- I'll have him.
- What? You gonna fight him?
317
00:16:25,170 --> 00:16:26,526
No.
318
00:16:26,646 --> 00:16:29,802
I'm going to do what a real man
does. I'm going to take his photo,
319
00:16:29,922 --> 00:16:32,911
- and I'm going to shame him on Twitter.
- Well, I don't want you to.
320
00:16:33,031 --> 00:16:34,694
It's not up to you, though, is it?
321
00:16:34,695 --> 00:16:37,266
Oh. Oh, I see. So it's your choice,
322
00:16:37,386 --> 00:16:39,382
is it, how outraged I'm allowed to be?
323
00:16:39,502 --> 00:16:41,174
- Bit patriarchal.
- Hang on.
324
00:16:41,175 --> 00:16:44,198
Graham honked your boob,
and I'm the sexist one?
325
00:16:44,318 --> 00:16:47,935
No-one honked my boob,
Josh. This isn't Benny Hill.
326
00:16:48,055 --> 00:16:49,935
Look, all I'm saying is sometimes
327
00:16:50,055 --> 00:16:52,451
this is what happens
to women in business.
328
00:16:52,571 --> 00:16:54,447
- No, it's not.
- Well,
329
00:16:54,567 --> 00:16:57,216
now who's in denial? Ah, let's just go!
330
00:17:01,055 --> 00:17:03,195
Stop it! I'm not doing anything.
331
00:17:03,315 --> 00:17:04,998
- What's wrong with you?
- All right!
332
00:17:05,118 --> 00:17:06,885
Need to get my... Cloakroom.
333
00:17:09,689 --> 00:17:12,798
What are you doing back? I thought
I gave you the afternoon off.
334
00:17:12,918 --> 00:17:15,974
I need to see Casey. I need some
advice from a woman in business.
335
00:17:16,094 --> 00:17:17,852
Some investor guy
336
00:17:17,972 --> 00:17:20,041
- honked Abi's boob.
- He honked it?
337
00:17:20,161 --> 00:17:22,981
- Yeah. Like that.
- I think you want to do something
338
00:17:23,101 --> 00:17:25,655
- about that, mate. That is wrong.
- She doesn't want me to.
339
00:17:25,775 --> 00:17:28,694
Sometimes it doesn't
matter what a woman wants.
340
00:17:28,695 --> 00:17:31,614
Great. Thank you for the
lesson in gender politics,
341
00:17:31,615 --> 00:17:33,094
Professor Robin Thicke.
342
00:17:33,095 --> 00:17:35,294
Leon, can I talk to you
about something, please?
343
00:17:35,295 --> 00:17:38,027
Ewan, how's the game?
Cos clocks are ticking.
344
00:17:40,255 --> 00:17:42,369
Come on, Digby, over here!
345
00:17:43,455 --> 00:17:46,387
Boys, this is Digby.
346
00:17:46,507 --> 00:17:49,135
Uh, I don't really like dogs, Watto.
347
00:17:49,255 --> 00:17:51,814
He doesn't have an owner,
so he belongs to me now.
348
00:17:51,815 --> 00:17:55,375
- You have a dog?
- Actually, no, it's not a possession.
349
00:17:55,495 --> 00:17:56,854
He's a person.
350
00:17:56,855 --> 00:17:58,734
[DOG WHIMPERS]
351
00:18:02,135 --> 00:18:04,494
He's just done a huge shit on the floor.
352
00:18:04,614 --> 00:18:06,072
Has he, though,
353
00:18:06,192 --> 00:18:10,309
or is he just cutting through
the artifice of this whole thing?
354
00:18:10,429 --> 00:18:12,734
No, he has. He's done a
massive shit on the floor.
355
00:18:12,735 --> 00:18:15,014
He doesn't care who we
are or what we're worth,
356
00:18:15,015 --> 00:18:18,910
he just barrels in and takes a
plop right there on the carpet.
357
00:18:19,030 --> 00:18:20,722
That's not a turd.
358
00:18:21,255 --> 00:18:24,533
- That's a call to arms.
- Definitely is a turd.
359
00:18:24,653 --> 00:18:26,334
Well, clean it then.
360
00:18:26,335 --> 00:18:27,894
It's humbling.
361
00:18:27,895 --> 00:18:30,279
It's like the Roman emperor who used
362
00:18:30,399 --> 00:18:33,122
to pay the slave to whisper
in his ear, "Remember,
363
00:18:33,242 --> 00:18:36,522
- "we're only human".
- Oh, come on, Watto, hey?
364
00:18:36,642 --> 00:18:38,662
Kitchen roll, don't sock it.
365
00:18:39,398 --> 00:18:41,261
This, yeah? Authenticity,
366
00:18:41,381 --> 00:18:43,536
which is more than I can
say for some of you lot.
367
00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:46,415
Has anyone heard from
Casey? She's not picking up.
368
00:18:46,535 --> 00:18:48,544
She's at home. I
369
00:18:48,664 --> 00:18:50,950
smashed her in the
face with a golf club.
370
00:18:51,975 --> 00:18:54,379
- Holy shit, Leon.
- Yeah, I know.
371
00:18:54,499 --> 00:18:56,605
Oh, she wants you to
drop around with her laptop.
372
00:18:56,725 --> 00:18:58,310
I've got some news for her,
373
00:18:58,430 --> 00:19:00,863
bad news. I thought it was weird that I
374
00:19:00,983 --> 00:19:03,464
hadn't heard from the Red
List, so I rang them, and...
375
00:19:03,584 --> 00:19:05,251
What, she's not on it?
376
00:19:06,095 --> 00:19:07,707
Not at all?
377
00:19:07,827 --> 00:19:10,653
Oh, my God! This is awesome!
378
00:19:10,773 --> 00:19:13,316
- I'm on the list and Casey isn't.
- I think, maybe, they only
379
00:19:13,436 --> 00:19:16,055
wanted one representative from
the company, so they chose you.
380
00:19:16,175 --> 00:19:19,014
Oh, God, I feel like that
guy when he became Pope.
381
00:19:19,015 --> 00:19:21,592
- You mean, the Pope?
- Yes, that guy.
382
00:19:21,712 --> 00:19:24,556
She won't be happy. Last year she
slipped three places, and she had to
383
00:19:24,676 --> 00:19:27,574
go off on holiday for a week,
and not just a normal holiday.
384
00:19:27,575 --> 00:19:29,974
Giraffe safari.
385
00:19:30,295 --> 00:19:32,159
Casey shot a giraffe?
386
00:19:32,279 --> 00:19:35,026
- Holy shit!
- She's a total enigma.
387
00:19:35,146 --> 00:19:37,136
There was one rumour
going around that she was in
388
00:19:37,256 --> 00:19:39,294
a long-distance relationship
with Lance Armstrong.
389
00:19:39,295 --> 00:19:40,894
That one I can see.
390
00:19:41,014 --> 00:19:43,534
And now she's going to kill me
like she killed that poor animal.
391
00:19:43,535 --> 00:19:46,218
Naomi, please. I would love to
break the good news to her.
392
00:19:46,338 --> 00:19:47,894
I'll take her laptop round as well.
393
00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:50,615
Oh, I see. So, you assaulted her
394
00:19:50,735 --> 00:19:52,357
and now you want to gloat?
395
00:19:53,575 --> 00:19:56,095
Yeah! Woohoo!
396
00:20:03,055 --> 00:20:05,694
Leon, can I use your
office while you're out?
397
00:20:05,695 --> 00:20:07,973
- What for?
- Well, just giving them the big
398
00:20:08,093 --> 00:20:10,614
- heave-ho on the code, and everything.
- Ewan, mate.
399
00:20:10,615 --> 00:20:14,057
You don't get your own office
just because you work hard.
400
00:20:14,177 --> 00:20:16,174
Why do you get your own office?
401
00:20:16,175 --> 00:20:18,678
Kind of genetic, you're either
born with it or you're not.
402
00:20:18,798 --> 00:20:21,279
It's like double joints.
What's all this about, mate?
403
00:20:22,655 --> 00:20:25,554
Oh, I get it, this is coming from Yoko.
404
00:20:25,674 --> 00:20:27,214
No, no, no, no.
405
00:20:27,334 --> 00:20:28,953
He's not Yoko,
406
00:20:29,073 --> 00:20:32,374
he's Linda, and I'm probably
Frog Song era Paul McCartney,
407
00:20:32,375 --> 00:20:36,134
and I think he's losing respect for
me, and I really want to get laid!
408
00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:39,175
Are you totally sure about this
guy? I think he hates us all.
409
00:20:39,295 --> 00:20:42,028
No, he's lovely. And I
think he's onto something,
410
00:20:42,041 --> 00:20:44,789
actually, in terms of my
status around this place.
411
00:20:44,909 --> 00:20:46,981
Listen, I'm expecting
a delivery, the Red List
412
00:20:47,101 --> 00:20:49,195
are biking over my
award. Sign for it, yeah?
413
00:20:49,315 --> 00:20:51,711
And, uh, happy coding.
Plenty of Vitamin C,
414
00:20:51,831 --> 00:20:53,522
and don't get scurvy!
415
00:20:53,642 --> 00:20:55,299
[HE WHOOPS]
416
00:21:12,295 --> 00:21:15,534
You know what, Diggers?
We can go chasing sticks.
417
00:21:15,535 --> 00:21:17,854
I can take you for walks.
418
00:21:17,855 --> 00:21:19,412
I'll have to buy you a lead for
419
00:21:19,532 --> 00:21:21,495
when we're near the road, but other
420
00:21:21,615 --> 00:21:24,854
than that, I'll let you off,
and we can go anywhere.
421
00:21:24,855 --> 00:21:27,814
Anywhere! You'd like that, wouldn't you?
422
00:21:27,815 --> 00:21:31,214
Here he is! Who's this big, lovely boy?
423
00:21:31,215 --> 00:21:33,339
- What's your name?
- Digby.
424
00:21:33,351 --> 00:21:35,675
He's lovely. What sort is he?
425
00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:37,843
Don't know. He's, sort of, like, a
426
00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:40,175
Dutch mountain dog or something.
427
00:21:40,295 --> 00:21:42,534
Have you noticed how
his breathing sounds?
428
00:21:42,535 --> 00:21:44,494
Yeah, he's a bit breathy,
429
00:21:44,495 --> 00:21:47,334
but that's all part of his
rugged wild man mystique.
430
00:21:47,335 --> 00:21:50,233
He's basically Leonard Cohen.
Aren't you, Dig, aren't
431
00:21:50,353 --> 00:21:52,519
you Leonard Cohen? Yes,
you are Leonard Cohen.
432
00:21:52,639 --> 00:21:54,894
You should probably get him
checked out though, yeah?
433
00:21:54,895 --> 00:21:57,285
- Just to be on the safe side.
- Yeah, sure.
434
00:21:57,405 --> 00:21:58,788
What's the harm?
435
00:21:59,215 --> 00:22:01,220
Up you come, Digby!
436
00:22:03,095 --> 00:22:04,294
I love you!
437
00:22:17,342 --> 00:22:19,484
What, you here to hit
me with a cricket bat?
438
00:22:19,604 --> 00:22:21,431
Smash me in my vagina
with a croquet mallet?
439
00:22:21,551 --> 00:22:23,015
I brought your laptop.
440
00:22:23,615 --> 00:22:25,732
Also, I felt bad about the face
441
00:22:25,852 --> 00:22:28,357
- thing, so I got you some soup.
- I hate soup.
442
00:22:28,477 --> 00:22:30,897
It's the opiate of the
elderly, the homeless and
443
00:22:31,017 --> 00:22:32,736
mentally infirm. Soup is bullshit.
444
00:22:32,856 --> 00:22:34,925
Strong feelings on soup!
You've moved, you're not
445
00:22:35,045 --> 00:22:37,102
- in the suite any more.
- Oh, that's very observant.
446
00:22:37,222 --> 00:22:38,723
Why don't you come in?
I'll give you the tour.
447
00:22:38,843 --> 00:22:40,393
We can do a cats cradle,
448
00:22:40,513 --> 00:22:42,704
- watch Golden Girls.
- Casey!
449
00:22:42,824 --> 00:22:45,239
- There's something I need to tell you.
- What?
450
00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:47,379
Um, I'm sorry.
451
00:22:47,975 --> 00:22:50,334
You didn't make it onto
the Red List this year.
452
00:22:50,335 --> 00:22:52,881
- Bullshit!
- I know, it's crazy. Naomi
453
00:22:53,001 --> 00:22:56,592
told me. I mean, how could
I be on it, at number 71?
454
00:22:56,712 --> 00:22:59,174
You're not even on it at all.
455
00:22:59,175 --> 00:23:01,934
I mean, I'm a passing phase.
You're timeless. You're...
456
00:23:01,935 --> 00:23:05,044
A prawn cocktail. An
absolute design classic.
457
00:23:05,164 --> 00:23:06,272
I'm
458
00:23:06,392 --> 00:23:08,413
a cronut. You remember the cronut?
459
00:23:08,533 --> 00:23:10,814
Who even cares about the cronut?
460
00:23:10,815 --> 00:23:13,332
Well, a lot of people,
actually, they... they loved
461
00:23:13,452 --> 00:23:15,304
- the cronut.
- Well, I don't
462
00:23:15,424 --> 00:23:18,294
care about those
piece-of-shit lists any...
463
00:23:18,295 --> 00:23:19,782
Whoa! Hey,
464
00:23:19,902 --> 00:23:21,295
- are you OK?
- Fine.
465
00:23:21,415 --> 00:23:22,854
- Come on.
- I said I'm fine.
466
00:23:24,911 --> 00:23:27,934
The point is, I asked him, and
I made my position very clear.
467
00:23:27,935 --> 00:23:30,965
OK, McFly, well when you finish
coding the game, maybe you
468
00:23:31,085 --> 00:23:34,716
- can go and wax Biff's car.
- A package for Leon Harper?
469
00:23:34,836 --> 00:23:36,736
Oh, yeah, I'll take it.
470
00:23:36,856 --> 00:23:38,211
Cheers.
471
00:23:39,575 --> 00:23:42,774
Hey, no, no, no! Be careful.
He's expecting an award.
472
00:23:43,596 --> 00:23:47,842
The Red List, number 71, Leon Harper.
473
00:23:48,169 --> 00:23:50,166
- Where's yours?
- Oh, I didn't get one.
474
00:23:50,286 --> 00:23:52,014
- People like me don't get awards.
- Ewan,
475
00:23:52,015 --> 00:23:55,316
he's out there dicking about,
and you, the working man,
476
00:23:55,436 --> 00:23:58,775
chained to his terminal, still
typing away after everyone's left.
477
00:23:58,895 --> 00:24:02,113
You get nothing. Can you stop
looking at that for one second?
478
00:24:02,233 --> 00:24:03,774
I'm a communist, Ewan.
479
00:24:03,775 --> 00:24:07,094
And I have never been more
communist than I am right now.
480
00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:10,958
Gosh, never slept with
a communist before.
481
00:24:11,078 --> 00:24:12,746
A couple Lib Dems.
482
00:24:12,866 --> 00:24:14,209
Smash it.
483
00:24:14,329 --> 00:24:16,399
- No, I really can't.
- Liberate yourself from
484
00:24:16,519 --> 00:24:19,122
- your oppressor, Ewan.
- He's not an oppressor, he's Leon.
485
00:24:19,242 --> 00:24:21,165
It's probably acrylic, anyway.
486
00:24:22,735 --> 00:24:23,974
No!
487
00:24:23,975 --> 00:24:25,304
It is...
488
00:24:25,424 --> 00:24:26,756
It's glass.
489
00:24:26,974 --> 00:24:28,861
I didn't think you'd actually smash it.
490
00:24:28,981 --> 00:24:30,203
I know!
491
00:24:31,055 --> 00:24:32,534
God, am I a communist now?
492
00:24:32,654 --> 00:24:33,855
Mmm.
493
00:24:33,975 --> 00:24:36,679
Where? I want you to
take me on Leon's desk.
494
00:24:36,799 --> 00:24:39,207
Oh, my, hot, horny Christ!
495
00:24:41,772 --> 00:24:43,211
Dyspnoea.
496
00:24:43,707 --> 00:24:45,884
That's why his
breathing's all like that.
497
00:24:46,004 --> 00:24:47,288
He's got about
498
00:24:47,408 --> 00:24:48,775
six months.
499
00:24:49,535 --> 00:24:50,819
Right.
500
00:24:51,496 --> 00:24:52,985
And in terms of
501
00:24:53,105 --> 00:24:54,934
the condition manifesting itself?
502
00:24:54,935 --> 00:24:57,214
Oh, he'll deteriorate pretty badly.
503
00:24:57,215 --> 00:24:59,808
My auntie's dog had it.
He'll be very phlegmy,
504
00:24:59,928 --> 00:25:01,840
a lot of coughing. Kind of, like...
505
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:03,494
[SHE WHEEZES]
506
00:25:09,467 --> 00:25:11,100
And he'll be doing that here,
507
00:25:11,774 --> 00:25:14,124
will he, deteriorating? He'll be
508
00:25:14,451 --> 00:25:16,894
deteriorating in the house?
509
00:25:17,014 --> 00:25:18,591
Very much so.
510
00:25:18,711 --> 00:25:21,132
He'll be moving in with
us until the endgame.
511
00:25:21,252 --> 00:25:22,574
That's comforting, isn't it?
512
00:25:23,538 --> 00:25:24,809
Look at him.
513
00:25:24,929 --> 00:25:27,654
All the wisdom in the world,
and he hasn't got a clue.
514
00:25:27,655 --> 00:25:29,494
[DOORBELL RINGS]
515
00:25:34,095 --> 00:25:36,168
I just got a call from Side Boob Graham.
516
00:25:36,288 --> 00:25:38,415
He's giving me the money! Ha!
517
00:25:38,535 --> 00:25:40,034
Ah!
518
00:25:40,288 --> 00:25:43,374
Obviously, he can run
it through on deductibles.
519
00:25:43,375 --> 00:25:46,664
Receipt from Stringfellows, lunch at
Hooters, investment in Squat Bot.
520
00:25:46,784 --> 00:25:48,653
- Ugh, Josh!
- I'm sorry, I'm just
521
00:25:48,773 --> 00:25:50,965
- horrified that this still happens.
- Well,
522
00:25:51,085 --> 00:25:53,615
I said yeah, I'm taking the money.
523
00:25:53,735 --> 00:25:57,174
Sorry, what? You said yes to
investment from a man that we
524
00:25:57,175 --> 00:25:59,966
are now quite openly referring
to as 'Side Boob Graham'?
525
00:26:00,086 --> 00:26:01,163
Yes!
526
00:26:01,283 --> 00:26:03,559
That's your investor,
he's on your board now,
527
00:26:03,679 --> 00:26:05,990
Side Boob Graham. All of
your corporate literature.
528
00:26:06,110 --> 00:26:09,472
Advisory Board - Peter Humphreys,
Glen Davis, Side Boob Graham.
529
00:26:09,592 --> 00:26:11,661
- Who's Glen Davis?
- I don't know, I just made up a name.
530
00:26:11,781 --> 00:26:13,548
Why can't it be that
he just likes my idea?
531
00:26:13,668 --> 00:26:15,954
- Of course he doesn't.
- Why, cos you think it's shit?
532
00:26:16,074 --> 00:26:17,588
I didn't say that.
533
00:26:17,708 --> 00:26:19,054
Just face it, Josh.
534
00:26:19,174 --> 00:26:21,640
He believes in me, and you don't,
535
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:23,854
which is why I'm taking his money.
536
00:26:23,855 --> 00:26:25,374
Honk, honk.
537
00:26:35,375 --> 00:26:38,654
So, these lists, they don't
really mean anything?
538
00:26:38,655 --> 00:26:41,374
I told you, I don't care.
539
00:26:41,375 --> 00:26:42,454
Is that right?
540
00:26:43,695 --> 00:26:45,622
Do not look in that cabinet!
541
00:26:47,642 --> 00:26:49,083
I don't want you
542
00:26:49,203 --> 00:26:52,014
going off at the deep end,
and booking some holiday
543
00:26:52,015 --> 00:26:53,414
to Africa.
544
00:26:53,415 --> 00:26:55,711
OK, you've been hearing the rumours.
545
00:26:55,831 --> 00:26:56,945
Let me guess,
546
00:26:57,065 --> 00:26:59,412
I ploughed a Jeep
into a herd of antelope?
547
00:27:00,415 --> 00:27:03,654
- Shot a giraffe.
- Sure, that one too.
548
00:27:03,774 --> 00:27:04,929
Leon,
549
00:27:05,049 --> 00:27:07,347
you want to go and spy in the
curtain, I'll give you one.
550
00:27:09,055 --> 00:27:11,574
- We're going out.
- Where?
551
00:27:11,575 --> 00:27:14,676
The Red List. They're
having a party, remember?
552
00:27:16,116 --> 00:27:18,245
- Is that a good idea?
- I'm going to find out
553
00:27:18,365 --> 00:27:20,814
why I'm not on that list, or die trying.
554
00:27:21,975 --> 00:27:23,294
You're driving.
555
00:27:24,220 --> 00:27:25,599
[BANG]
556
00:27:27,074 --> 00:27:30,075
I've been thinking about it.
We can do him a bucket list,
557
00:27:30,195 --> 00:27:32,334
give him the best
six months of his life.
558
00:27:32,335 --> 00:27:34,494
Yeah. That's a really nice idea.
559
00:27:34,495 --> 00:27:36,935
Cos they like tennis balls, don't they?
560
00:27:37,055 --> 00:27:39,330
What if we got Roger Federer to do
561
00:27:39,450 --> 00:27:41,231
some serves and he caught them?
562
00:27:41,351 --> 00:27:44,134
Or hire a postman and fill
his pockets with offal.
563
00:27:44,135 --> 00:27:47,260
He likes Thai food. We could get
Ken Hom in to do him a Pad Thai.
564
00:27:47,380 --> 00:27:49,934
Or catch a pigeon and just let him
do whatever he wants with it.
565
00:27:49,935 --> 00:27:53,014
Visit the Elgin Marbles, just
cos it's a nice day out.
566
00:27:53,015 --> 00:27:55,262
Yeah, that'd be lovely.
567
00:27:59,855 --> 00:28:02,012
I should write some of these down.
568
00:28:07,215 --> 00:28:10,534
Hey, Naomi, can have a word, please?
569
00:28:13,369 --> 00:28:14,694
I need a favour.
570
00:28:14,695 --> 00:28:17,654
I need you to set me up a shell
company, and then use that shell
571
00:28:17,655 --> 00:28:19,494
company to acquire another company.
572
00:28:19,495 --> 00:28:21,557
But keep my name away from it,
573
00:28:21,677 --> 00:28:23,175
like, well away from it, and...?
574
00:28:23,295 --> 00:28:24,593
Sure.
575
00:28:24,902 --> 00:28:25,992
Really?
576
00:28:26,112 --> 00:28:28,411
We have a shady lawyer
that we sometimes use.
577
00:28:28,531 --> 00:28:29,802
Shady David.
578
00:28:29,922 --> 00:28:31,713
- He's shady.
- It's not shady.
579
00:28:31,833 --> 00:28:33,443
It's essentially an act of chivalry.
580
00:28:33,563 --> 00:28:35,375
I'm saving Abi from a serial groper.
581
00:28:35,495 --> 00:28:37,095
Hey, I'm Casey's assistant.
582
00:28:37,215 --> 00:28:39,115
I can't afford to have a moral compass.
583
00:28:39,135 --> 00:28:41,510
- [PHONE BEEPS]
- There you go. Call Shady David.
584
00:28:45,255 --> 00:28:46,734
Cheers.
585
00:28:47,975 --> 00:28:49,494
Thank you.
586
00:28:49,495 --> 00:28:51,774
What's up, everybody?
587
00:28:51,775 --> 00:28:53,374
Casey's here!
588
00:28:53,375 --> 00:28:55,079
Hey, don't go anywhere. Come here.
589
00:28:55,199 --> 00:28:58,104
- Thank you.
- OK, Casey, let's not cause a Scene.
590
00:28:58,224 --> 00:29:01,255
- I'm not causing a scene.
- Um, Leon Harper?
591
00:29:01,375 --> 00:29:02,544
Rachel.
592
00:29:02,664 --> 00:29:04,214
I compiled the list.
593
00:29:04,215 --> 00:29:06,487
Ah! Hey, great to meet you.
594
00:29:06,607 --> 00:29:08,494
- Likewise.
- Hey, Rachel.
595
00:29:08,495 --> 00:29:10,745
How's that early-onset Alzheimer's?
596
00:29:11,580 --> 00:29:13,614
Well, you clearly forgot something...
597
00:29:13,615 --> 00:29:15,334
Moi!
598
00:29:15,335 --> 00:29:17,134
I'm sorry, you are?
599
00:29:17,135 --> 00:29:19,774
Oh, I see, we're gonna play that game.
600
00:29:19,775 --> 00:29:21,147
Casey.
601
00:29:22,295 --> 00:29:23,621
Casey Renard.
602
00:29:23,741 --> 00:29:25,206
- Oh.
- 'Oh!'
603
00:29:25,326 --> 00:29:26,815
- Wow.
- I know.
604
00:29:26,935 --> 00:29:29,392
- I wasn't expecting to see you.
- How come I'm not on the list,
605
00:29:29,512 --> 00:29:30,623
- Rachel?
- Um...
606
00:29:31,278 --> 00:29:34,826
- Well, it's a very competitive field.
- How come I'm
607
00:29:34,946 --> 00:29:36,894
- not on the list, Rachel?
- This year, more than ever,
608
00:29:37,014 --> 00:29:39,350
- in terms of potential candidates...
- How come I am not
609
00:29:39,470 --> 00:29:41,214
- on the list, Rachel?
- It's incredibly tough to
610
00:29:41,215 --> 00:29:42,958
- narrow it down. We can't
- How come I am not on the list, Rachel?
611
00:29:43,078 --> 00:29:44,995
- accommodate everyone.
- How come I am not on the list, Rachel?
612
00:29:45,115 --> 00:29:46,661
- There's always next year.
- How come I'm not on the list, Rachel?!
613
00:29:46,781 --> 00:29:49,091
Because you're past it!
614
00:29:52,628 --> 00:29:53,947
Your peak,
615
00:29:54,866 --> 00:29:57,491
probably, in my opinion.
616
00:29:58,335 --> 00:30:01,580
But that's just, that's
just one opinion.
617
00:30:05,982 --> 00:30:07,506
Thank you, Rachel.
618
00:30:08,063 --> 00:30:09,938
I appreciate your candour.
619
00:30:14,495 --> 00:30:17,934
Right, I should, um, probably go and...
620
00:30:17,935 --> 00:30:20,490
Mingle with my contemporaries.
621
00:30:20,610 --> 00:30:21,953
I'll see you in a bit.
622
00:30:38,095 --> 00:30:39,974
Hey. So...
623
00:30:39,975 --> 00:30:41,534
what do you do, then?
624
00:30:41,535 --> 00:30:43,600
Uh... I make shorts.
625
00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:44,894
Oh, really?
626
00:30:44,895 --> 00:30:47,254
What sort? Like cargo, or...?
627
00:30:47,255 --> 00:30:50,574
- Films. I make short films.
- Oh! Right.
628
00:30:50,575 --> 00:30:53,314
Oh, you thought I made actual shorts?
629
00:30:54,735 --> 00:30:56,312
That's hilarious.
630
00:30:57,014 --> 00:30:58,934
Nah, nah. I was joking.
631
00:30:58,935 --> 00:31:00,594
Oh, God.
632
00:31:00,714 --> 00:31:02,324
Who ordered the fax machine?
633
00:31:03,775 --> 00:31:05,054
Who?
634
00:31:05,055 --> 00:31:07,488
Casey Rennard. We call
her 'the fax machine'
635
00:31:07,608 --> 00:31:10,959
because she hasn't done
anything useful since, like, 1998.
636
00:31:11,660 --> 00:31:13,974
What about you, then?
What have you done?
637
00:31:13,975 --> 00:31:16,374
Made a short film?
That's not a job, is it?
638
00:31:16,375 --> 00:31:18,294
That's like saying, 'I
make short curtains. '
639
00:31:18,295 --> 00:31:20,202
'I make windows that don't close.'
640
00:31:20,322 --> 00:31:23,454
Right. Cos computer
games are, like, so great.
641
00:31:23,455 --> 00:31:25,877
- Yeah, everyone loves video games.
- Video games
642
00:31:25,997 --> 00:31:27,821
- are for little boys.
- [HE LAUGHS]
643
00:31:27,941 --> 00:31:29,817
OK. Don't presume to step to me
644
00:31:29,937 --> 00:31:31,935
with the demographics of mobile gamers.
645
00:31:32,055 --> 00:31:34,414
70% of players are women.
646
00:31:34,415 --> 00:31:38,134
The average gaming session for
women lasts 25% longer than men.
647
00:31:38,135 --> 00:31:41,509
61% of mobile gamers are parents,
648
00:31:41,629 --> 00:31:43,215
bosh. And you know what?
649
00:31:43,335 --> 00:31:45,094
Casey gets it.
650
00:31:45,095 --> 00:31:46,254
She does.
651
00:31:46,255 --> 00:31:48,614
She's smarter than
everyone in this room.
652
00:31:48,615 --> 00:31:51,294
And I'm not surprised you're
so keen on demographics.
653
00:31:53,375 --> 00:31:54,854
What does that mean?
654
00:31:54,855 --> 00:31:56,654
Nothing. Sorry.
655
00:31:58,525 --> 00:32:00,424
I get it. You're trying to say I'm
656
00:32:00,544 --> 00:32:02,015
- the diversity pick.
- No, no, no, no.
657
00:32:02,135 --> 00:32:04,125
I'm definitely not saying that.
658
00:32:05,695 --> 00:32:07,234
Can I ask you a question?
659
00:32:07,815 --> 00:32:10,294
- Am I only here cos I'm black?
- What?
660
00:32:10,295 --> 00:32:13,287
No, God! Absolutely not.
661
00:32:14,975 --> 00:32:16,574
[HE CLEARS THROAT]
662
00:32:23,455 --> 00:32:24,910
Right.
663
00:32:25,346 --> 00:32:27,269
No, no, no. I get it.
664
00:32:28,455 --> 00:32:29,798
Thank you.
665
00:32:39,619 --> 00:32:41,551
The richest 1% has as much as
666
00:32:41,671 --> 00:32:43,681
the rest of the world combined.
667
00:32:43,801 --> 00:32:46,015
Absolutely sickening.
668
00:32:46,135 --> 00:32:48,761
And I say that as, like, 1% of the 1%.
669
00:32:48,881 --> 00:32:50,654
I'll make an activist of you yet.
670
00:33:01,883 --> 00:33:04,094
- What's that?
- No, nothing.
671
00:33:04,095 --> 00:33:05,894
It's not anything.
672
00:33:07,775 --> 00:33:10,654
I felt bad. It's an award, and
I know it means a lot to him.
673
00:33:10,655 --> 00:33:14,722
He's not taking advantage
of you, is he? You enjoy it.
674
00:33:14,842 --> 00:33:16,734
OK, it's silly. Look, I've stopped.
675
00:33:16,735 --> 00:33:20,238
- The guy's a total arsehole.
- Whoa, OK, hang on.
676
00:33:20,358 --> 00:33:24,094
He's a mate. And he values me,
actually. I'm the Moby of Kodi.
677
00:33:24,095 --> 00:33:26,834
Yeah, exactly. Where the
fuck is Moby, Ewan?
678
00:33:26,954 --> 00:33:28,495
That's not a compliment.
679
00:33:28,615 --> 00:33:30,923
You need to stand up for yourself.
680
00:33:31,535 --> 00:33:32,774
Yeah.
681
00:33:32,894 --> 00:33:34,174
Maybe you're right.
682
00:33:36,829 --> 00:33:38,374
I think you should leave.
683
00:33:39,495 --> 00:33:40,894
Yeah.
684
00:33:41,175 --> 00:33:42,902
I do, actually.
685
00:33:43,252 --> 00:33:45,988
Now, would you like me
to call you a courier?
686
00:33:49,215 --> 00:33:50,742
I'll walk.
687
00:33:53,695 --> 00:33:55,347
See you around, Ewan.
688
00:34:05,335 --> 00:34:07,094
[DOOR CLOSES]
689
00:34:14,228 --> 00:34:15,523
Sex?
690
00:34:16,091 --> 00:34:17,954
One final shag for Digby?
691
00:34:18,486 --> 00:34:20,204
We could hire, like,
692
00:34:20,591 --> 00:34:24,244
the hottest female dog from Crufts.
693
00:34:25,335 --> 00:34:26,644
Where's he gone?
694
00:34:27,455 --> 00:34:28,761
Digby?
695
00:34:29,342 --> 00:34:30,781
Digby, mate?
696
00:34:31,175 --> 00:34:32,534
[DISTANT]: - Digby?
- Digby!
697
00:34:35,305 --> 00:34:36,963
Not taking Graham's money.
698
00:34:37,083 --> 00:34:38,234
[HE GASPS]
699
00:34:38,354 --> 00:34:40,374
No way! What happened?
700
00:34:40,375 --> 00:34:42,094
Got a better offer.
701
00:34:42,095 --> 00:34:44,254
Just came in. Just got a
call from his lawyer.
702
00:34:44,255 --> 00:34:46,374
Must have been someone at
that speed funding thing.
703
00:34:46,375 --> 00:34:49,894
I need to look into it properly, but
it's generous. Really generous.
704
00:34:49,895 --> 00:34:52,223
- A lot of money.
- Ah, it's, uh...
705
00:34:53,495 --> 00:34:55,127
It's amazing.
706
00:34:55,247 --> 00:34:57,094
I need you to understand, Josh.
707
00:34:57,095 --> 00:34:59,070
It's really important
I do this on my own.
708
00:34:59,190 --> 00:35:00,969
Otherwise, people will
always say you just
709
00:35:01,089 --> 00:35:02,855
gave me the money
cos I'm your girlfriend.
710
00:35:02,975 --> 00:35:04,934
I need to know that I'm still a thing.
711
00:35:04,935 --> 00:35:06,934
I want respect.
712
00:35:06,935 --> 00:35:09,907
Thank you, though, for
being so understanding.
713
00:35:10,027 --> 00:35:11,698
And the best part is,
714
00:35:11,952 --> 00:35:14,694
I get to develop the next stage
of Squat Bot without having
715
00:35:14,814 --> 00:35:16,296
to have sex with some
716
00:35:16,416 --> 00:35:18,668
gross, rich creep.
717
00:35:19,079 --> 00:35:21,134
No, that really is good news.
718
00:35:21,254 --> 00:35:22,405
So,
719
00:35:22,525 --> 00:35:26,294
let's have sex to celebrate.
You gross, rich creep.
720
00:35:28,043 --> 00:35:29,351
Digby!
721
00:35:29,471 --> 00:35:32,301
There's some more green
chicken curry if you want it.
722
00:35:37,855 --> 00:35:40,807
Digby! What are you
doing down here, buddy?
723
00:35:41,495 --> 00:35:42,646
Digby!
724
00:35:45,455 --> 00:35:46,710
Oh, no!
725
00:35:48,175 --> 00:35:50,109
Oh, God, no!
726
00:35:51,483 --> 00:35:53,094
Digby!
727
00:35:57,592 --> 00:35:59,722
- I'm gonna go.
- No?
728
00:35:59,842 --> 00:36:02,674
You don't want to stay
and bask in your glory?
729
00:36:02,794 --> 00:36:04,573
No, I didn't want to come anyway.
730
00:36:04,693 --> 00:36:06,615
I knew it was just a box-ticking thing.
731
00:36:06,735 --> 00:36:09,981
- What? The black thing?
- I don't know, it's like it's ten times
732
00:36:10,101 --> 00:36:11,673
as hard for me to get
a seat at the table.
733
00:36:11,793 --> 00:36:13,439
And when I finally do,
smug little empty haircuts
734
00:36:13,559 --> 00:36:15,455
tell me I'm only here
because of tokenism.
735
00:36:15,575 --> 00:36:18,254
You are. We all are, Leon.
736
00:36:18,255 --> 00:36:22,014
15 years ago, the first time I was
on the list, it was because I was...
737
00:36:22,015 --> 00:36:24,294
and am... a hot piece of ass.
738
00:36:24,295 --> 00:36:27,534
Seriously, do you think any of
these people are here on merit?
739
00:36:27,535 --> 00:36:29,176
OK, you know what...
740
00:36:30,695 --> 00:36:31,796
A-hem!
741
00:36:33,175 --> 00:36:35,014
Can I have your attention, please?
742
00:36:36,429 --> 00:36:38,111
So, just to say,
743
00:36:38,595 --> 00:36:40,361
these awards
744
00:36:40,724 --> 00:36:43,615
- are bullshit.
- Oh, sour grapes?
745
00:36:43,735 --> 00:36:45,734
It's not about grapes.
746
00:36:45,735 --> 00:36:48,156
Because why are we all here?
747
00:36:48,276 --> 00:36:49,958
Really? Hm?
748
00:36:50,078 --> 00:36:51,423
I mean, you
749
00:36:51,543 --> 00:36:54,014
loss-making company
supported by Daddy's money.
750
00:36:54,015 --> 00:36:56,734
You. Cousin on the editorial board.
751
00:36:56,735 --> 00:36:58,183
Daddy gave you the job.
752
00:36:58,303 --> 00:36:59,974
Fucked Tom Potter.
753
00:36:59,975 --> 00:37:02,902
Fucked Tom Potter. Daddy gave
you the job. Daddy gave you
754
00:37:03,022 --> 00:37:04,574
the job. Daddy gave you the job...
755
00:37:04,575 --> 00:37:07,366
Minor royal. The point
is, enjoy tonight,
756
00:37:07,681 --> 00:37:09,135
because guess what?
757
00:37:09,255 --> 00:37:12,334
The women and the blacks and the
minorities and the trans people are
758
00:37:12,335 --> 00:37:14,997
coming to eat your privilege
759
00:37:15,117 --> 00:37:17,055
and we are hungry as hell,
760
00:37:17,175 --> 00:37:20,465
because we haven't had
a meal in centuries.
761
00:37:22,335 --> 00:37:24,529
Leon, let's bounce.
762
00:37:24,649 --> 00:37:25,963
Actually, Casey,
763
00:37:26,083 --> 00:37:28,612
- I want to say something...
- Bu, bu, bu... It's not your place.
764
00:37:28,732 --> 00:37:30,124
Let's go.
765
00:37:31,043 --> 00:37:33,494
More fool you for
letting a wolf in the door.
766
00:37:33,495 --> 00:37:35,574
Ha-ha! See you next year.
767
00:37:44,607 --> 00:37:46,399
_
768
00:37:53,728 --> 00:37:55,312
_
769
00:38:04,925 --> 00:38:07,272
And I eat which part of the kebab?
770
00:38:07,392 --> 00:38:08,574
Both.
771
00:38:09,486 --> 00:38:10,720
Both elements?
772
00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:12,667
Even though one of
them kinda looks like
773
00:38:12,787 --> 00:38:14,917
- a peeled animal skin?
- Try it.
774
00:38:16,376 --> 00:38:18,759
Oh, my god, this is so gross.
775
00:38:18,879 --> 00:38:20,134
Mmm.
776
00:38:20,972 --> 00:38:22,763
Just so we're clear, I don't really
777
00:38:22,883 --> 00:38:24,855
care about issues of social inequality.
778
00:38:24,975 --> 00:38:27,043
I was merely using that as a pretext
779
00:38:27,163 --> 00:38:29,414
to devalue the award
systems out of pure spite.
780
00:38:29,415 --> 00:38:31,785
Yeah, I got that. But thanks anyway.
781
00:38:33,815 --> 00:38:35,463
You are something, Leon.
782
00:38:35,583 --> 00:38:37,842
I mean, the list is horse shit. But...
783
00:38:38,519 --> 00:38:40,694
They got it right about you.
784
00:38:40,695 --> 00:38:42,214
Game recognises game.
785
00:38:46,175 --> 00:38:47,562
Oh, it's Ewan.
786
00:38:47,574 --> 00:38:49,969
He's finished the game,
we're ready for the expo.
787
00:38:51,626 --> 00:38:52,776
Hmm.
788
00:38:53,550 --> 00:38:57,135
You know what you need when
you're at the top of the tree, Leon?
789
00:38:57,595 --> 00:38:58,889
A steady branch.
790
00:39:00,055 --> 00:39:01,187
Loyalty.
791
00:39:02,575 --> 00:39:03,974
Take me by the office.
792
00:39:03,975 --> 00:39:06,414
There is something I've
been meaning to show you.
793
00:39:17,335 --> 00:39:20,415
- It's all my fault.
- You can't blame yourself, mate.
794
00:39:20,535 --> 00:39:22,374
It could've happened to anyone.
795
00:39:22,375 --> 00:39:24,553
Anyone with a really deep pool.
796
00:39:26,535 --> 00:39:29,454
I was meant to give him the
happiest six months of his life.
797
00:39:30,775 --> 00:39:32,494
I drowned him on day one.
798
00:39:32,495 --> 00:39:35,410
No, they say it's one of the
most painless ways to go.
799
00:39:35,530 --> 00:39:37,163
No, they don't, do they?
800
00:39:38,655 --> 00:39:41,014
Yeah, they do. I'm
sure he wasn't scared.
801
00:39:42,495 --> 00:39:45,054
Maybe I could pay to have
him cryogenically frozen.
802
00:39:45,055 --> 00:39:47,290
But then what, mate?
You get him reanimated
803
00:39:47,410 --> 00:39:50,334
one day and then he's just
got six months of being
804
00:39:50,335 --> 00:39:52,894
ill and then he dies...
805
00:39:52,895 --> 00:39:54,218
Again.
806
00:39:58,585 --> 00:40:01,770
I'm gonna go to my room.
I just want to be on my own.
807
00:40:06,575 --> 00:40:07,974
You all right?
808
00:40:14,036 --> 00:40:15,731
What are we going to do with it?
809
00:40:15,851 --> 00:40:18,464
- Have you got like a chest freezer?
- We do, but he's
810
00:40:18,584 --> 00:40:21,174
not going in it. I've got
ham hocks in that thing.
811
00:40:25,866 --> 00:40:27,654
This is Goodfellas, isn't it?
812
00:40:27,655 --> 00:40:30,475
I'm about to be shot in
the back of the head.
813
00:40:42,324 --> 00:40:45,654
- Holy shit.
- Meet Cat Factory 2.
814
00:40:45,655 --> 00:40:48,494
Fucking hell, you've been working
on the sequel the whole time?
815
00:40:48,495 --> 00:40:50,974
Welcome to the other side
of the curtain, Leon.
816
00:41:01,782 --> 00:41:04,774
Oh, look, it's Leon. Finally
home after a hard day's work.
817
00:41:04,775 --> 00:41:06,774
What happened to you? You've been ages.
818
00:41:11,695 --> 00:41:13,494
Oh, you know.
819
00:41:13,495 --> 00:41:15,414
Nothing much. It's all good.
820
00:41:16,690 --> 00:41:19,835
- Synced and corrected by medvidecek007 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
821
00:41:19,885 --> 00:41:24,435
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
62231
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.