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Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
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(Narrator) Though well versedin all manner of guerrilla warfare,
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Kr�d's tactic of choice,the supply line raid -
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choking the lifeblood fromthe oppressor's regime
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one cargo shipment at a time.
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But Kr�d knew wellhis success depended on nerve,
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focus and flawless execution.
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Zez! Get back in position.
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No, no. Quasto wearing
assless chaps, man.
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Normal pants chafe my tail.
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Cut him some slack, Zez.
The guy's got a tail.
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00:00:58,758 --> 00:01:01,488
So why don't you come sit underneath
this chocolate starfish
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in a stress position, Kr�d?
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That is not a starfish -
that is my musk gland.
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Let me tell you something - I don't care
what it is, I saw a heartbeat.
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- Until he covers it up, I'm out.
- Can we just clear this up, please?
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You said that on a Friday,
we could wear
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- whatever we want.
- Yeah...
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That's why Bruce
gets to wear his tummy teaser.
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Jealous much?
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Guys, guys. This is an ambush!
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Kr�d, you said as long
as I covered my nipples
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and manscaped my treasure trail,
I could let loose my Bruce.
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What? Never in my life have I ever
said "manscape" and "treasure bush".
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- He would never say...
- Are you calling me a liar?
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Guys, guys... Guys!
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We're here to intercept
the imperial payroll shipment, OK?
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So forgive me if I'm all business,
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but I'm really not in the mood
to play fashion police.
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Oh, really? Then why did you try
and get me to wear a chastity belt?
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No. Now, Aneka,
that is not a chastity belt.
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That is state-of-the-art
vaginal armor.
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Yeah, well, I'll take my chances.
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Well, you wouldn't have to take chances
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if you'd just follow
some simple guidelines.
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Is it so hard to wear underwear?
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It is if you've got a tail.
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00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:05,123
I don't wanna get hit
with grobble droppings.
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I'm not opening
the discussion up to everyone.
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We are here to do a job!
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Oh, great! Oh, that's just great!
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Congratulations.
You just killed Casual Friday!
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Ay, no! Kr�d, please.
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No, no. Stick a sword in it, it's done.
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Kr�d M�ndoon.
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Who's asking?
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00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:30,475
Of course. Our last encounter
left little time for introduction.
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I'm Ralph Longshaft.
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Spelt "Ralph", pronounced "Rafe".
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Wait, you're the Ralph Longshaft?
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Wow, your autobiography,
Ralph On Ralph,
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is the reason
I picked up a sword for the cause.
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Man crush!
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Stop. And this is my esteemed
warlock and dear friend, Grimshank.
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Oh! How you doing?
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Kr�d, we tracked you here
because the ERC...
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- The Elite Resistance Council.
- Of course.
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..is meeting tomorrow
in the Frenulum Catacombs
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00:02:58,545 --> 00:03:02,811
at the base of Mount Hood to discuss
strategy in a post-Arcadius world.
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As his prot�g�, I believe
you should be part of that discussion.
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Grimshank, the invitation.
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It was in his sleeve.
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Until tomorrow. Grimshank, away.
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Oh, ow! My eyes.
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- Wow!
- That...That was a stumper.
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00:03:28,074 --> 00:03:30,065
Did he slice the earth? What...
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(Eagle cry)
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What news, Barnabus?
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00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:37,980
Well, the bounty on M�ndoon
has been lifted by your official decree.
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00:03:38,017 --> 00:03:42,181
And everything else - excuse me -
is unfolding according to plan.
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00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,713
- Oh!
- Oh?
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Well, come, come, sire.
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The Eye of Gulga Grymna
will soon be fully operational.
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This is the fulfillment
of your five-year plan.
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I thought you'd be happy.
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And I am. I am, Barnabus.
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But what good is the power
to destroy humanity
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00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:03,401
if I have no one to share it with?
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00:04:03,443 --> 00:04:07,106
I miss her, Barnabus. I miss her so.
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00:04:07,146 --> 00:04:08,807
Who, sire?
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00:04:11,117 --> 00:04:13,847
My angel. My beloved.
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The wench from the village with
the big cans and the "hump me" eyes.
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00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:21,957
Yes, of course. Was she not last seen
absconding with Lord Roderick?
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Yes, but what can he bench?
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00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:26,121
Oh, touch�, sire, touch�.
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00:04:26,165 --> 00:04:29,328
And you're not deterred
by the age difference?
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00:04:29,369 --> 00:04:33,499
Oh, no, no, no, no. You take your
own age, cut it in half, add seven.
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Anything higher than that
is socially acceptable, yes? Try it.
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Isn't it perfect? Yes.
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- And then you can, um...
- Yes, well...lovely.
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00:04:42,482 --> 00:04:46,384
I just, you know, hope you've not
mistaken infatuation for love.
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What do you know of love?
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00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:49,745
You've never even been
in a long-term relationship!
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00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:53,316
True. I was only married for a short time
before you beheaded my wife.
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Only because she was unfaithful to you.
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- With you, sire.
- Well, she initiated,
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- at the autumnal solstice.
- After you spiked her punch
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- and goaded her into sexual role play.
- Oh, yes. I did. Yes.
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00:05:03,269 --> 00:05:05,396
Ha-ha-ha! I'd forgotten that, yes.
100
00:05:05,438 --> 00:05:06,962
Yes, well, it was a test.
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00:05:07,006 --> 00:05:08,132
Oh.
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00:05:08,174 --> 00:05:10,836
And she failed.
I saved you a lot of heartache.
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00:05:10,877 --> 00:05:13,971
Yes, well,
my infant sons and I thank you.
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Thank me by finding her, Barnabus.
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Find my soul wench.
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Right...abs, I think.
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00:05:21,721 --> 00:05:23,712
Wow, guys, look at this.
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00:05:23,756 --> 00:05:27,283
This is like a Who's Who
of legendary warriors.
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00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:31,423
Look, you got Santtu Mooseknuckle,
Thaddeus the Hammer,
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Gustav the Short and Curly.
And they've summoned me.
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Me!
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- As they should, huh?
- Thanks, man.
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You?
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You. So, uh, you plan to go
before the Council without...me?
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00:05:46,245 --> 00:05:48,873
- Uh...yeah.
- You know what?
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00:05:48,915 --> 00:05:52,043
- Fine, it's fine. Go alone.
- Great, thanks. I will.
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- That's what you want.
- And fight alone.
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- What?
- And fulfill the prophecy alone.
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00:05:56,589 --> 00:05:58,921
And die alone, for all I care.
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00:05:58,958 --> 00:06:02,223
- I'd never let you die alone, master.
- Thanks, Quasto.
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00:06:02,261 --> 00:06:04,627
Because I was under the impression
that we needed each other
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00:06:04,664 --> 00:06:07,963
to save the resistance,
but apparently I was mistaken.
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00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:12,094
No, no, you're right, you're right.
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00:06:12,138 --> 00:06:14,368
We'll go to the ERC together,
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00:06:14,407 --> 00:06:17,399
and I'll make sure
they know we stand as one.
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00:06:17,443 --> 00:06:19,240
Remove her from these premises!
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00:06:19,278 --> 00:06:21,473
Can do. Let's go, Aneka.
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00:06:22,615 --> 00:06:24,139
Look, uh...
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00:06:24,183 --> 00:06:27,311
the reason that I brought her
with me is, uh...
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00:06:27,353 --> 00:06:29,321
we have a special kind of relationship.
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00:06:29,355 --> 00:06:34,315
Oh. Special.
Special how? Are you her mistress?
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00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:37,022
(Laughter)
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00:06:38,765 --> 00:06:43,896
- Hey, you watch it, pal.
- Or what, you limp-haired mongrel?
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00:06:43,936 --> 00:06:46,166
I'm sorry, you're attacking my hair?
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00:06:46,205 --> 00:06:49,072
With all due respect,
Gustav the Short and Curly,
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00:06:49,108 --> 00:06:51,076
you have pubic hair atop your head!
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00:06:51,110 --> 00:06:54,807
Yes, swine, and you have
no pubic hair atop your head!
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00:06:54,847 --> 00:06:56,405
Yeah, that's right.
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00:06:56,449 --> 00:06:59,646
Wait, what?
I just have normal hair atop my head.
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00:06:59,685 --> 00:07:01,448
That's what
you're supposed to have, right?
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00:07:01,487 --> 00:07:04,388
No, pubic hair belongs everywhere.
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00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,551
(Men chattering)
143
00:07:07,493 --> 00:07:09,859
Gentlemen, gentlemen...gentlemen!
144
00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:13,024
There is no right or wrong place
for pubic hair.
145
00:07:13,065 --> 00:07:15,727
Well, actually, by definition,
I'm thinking, you know...
146
00:07:15,768 --> 00:07:18,464
Let us agree to disagree
147
00:07:18,504 --> 00:07:21,337
and focus on our business here today.
148
00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:23,274
Now, the passing of Arcadius
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00:07:23,309 --> 00:07:26,676
has left Hessemeel's seat
on the Council wide open.
150
00:07:26,712 --> 00:07:30,671
Kr�d, earlier today
I nominated you to replace him.
151
00:07:30,716 --> 00:07:33,480
Wow! Oh, my gods!
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00:07:33,519 --> 00:07:36,613
This is arguably
the greatest moment of my life.
153
00:07:36,656 --> 00:07:39,022
- Your nomination was rejected.
- Why?
154
00:07:39,058 --> 00:07:41,891
However, the Council
did agree to a compromise.
155
00:07:41,928 --> 00:07:44,089
Your admission and,
by rightful extension,
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00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:46,496
Aneka's admission to our ranks
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00:07:46,532 --> 00:07:50,127
will be conditional upon a successful
completion of a test of valor.
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00:07:50,169 --> 00:07:51,568
- We accept.
- Well...
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00:07:51,604 --> 00:07:55,665
probably find out what it is first.
Uh, what is this test?
160
00:07:55,708 --> 00:07:59,508
You must retrieve
the Bloodstone of Alluvia,
161
00:07:59,545 --> 00:08:02,013
the largest diamond
in the known world.
162
00:08:02,048 --> 00:08:04,676
Its sale could fund the resistance
for a decade.
163
00:08:05,518 --> 00:08:08,419
It's believed to lie here
on the Alluvian Plain
164
00:08:08,454 --> 00:08:13,619
deep in the lair of a dreaded Cyclops.
Hundreds have died in its pursuit.
165
00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:17,356
And I'll wager mentulas to mince pies
you'll join them.
166
00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:22,628
Mark me well, Council.
167
00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:26,126
We'll vanquish this Cyclops.
We'll fetch you the Bloodstone.
168
00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:29,198
And by the gods,
I will lay it here upon that very table.
169
00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:30,937
And then...
170
00:08:30,977 --> 00:08:34,913
then I'm coming back here and
I'm gonna to shear your pubic dome bare
171
00:08:34,947 --> 00:08:37,347
with molten steel, and then I'm gonna
douse your smoldering scalp
172
00:08:37,383 --> 00:08:38,816
with hot jets of urine
straight from my...
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00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:39,875
Security!
174
00:08:39,919 --> 00:08:43,480
No, wait! It's OK, there's no need
for security. I'm good.
175
00:08:44,724 --> 00:08:47,090
Long live the, uh, resistance.
176
00:08:50,930 --> 00:08:52,056
Mmm...
177
00:08:52,098 --> 00:08:54,658
How anyone can resist is beyond me.
178
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,861
Mr. Universe, I think.
179
00:08:56,903 --> 00:09:00,168
Sire, forgive me, I, um...
180
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,470
I come with news of your soul wench.
181
00:09:03,776 --> 00:09:07,075
Yes, she's to be wed this weekend
to Lord Roderick at Castle Braynehang.
182
00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:10,480
Daggers! Ready the carriage.
We ride tonight to Braynehang!
183
00:09:10,516 --> 00:09:13,451
Oh, and Barnabus,
fill up the travel flagons,
184
00:09:13,486 --> 00:09:16,614
grab some munchies,
we'll make it a road trip.
185
00:09:17,924 --> 00:09:20,825
"Oh, hello. I'm Lord Roderick.
What's your problem?"
186
00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:25,690
Fearlessly, they raced acrossthe Alluvian Plain.
187
00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:28,359
But none of them knewwhat horrors awaited them
188
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:32,394
inside that strange purple cave.
189
00:09:36,842 --> 00:09:39,402
(Kr�d) Shh! Careful, guys.
190
00:09:39,445 --> 00:09:42,471
Right now our only advantage
is the element of surprise.
191
00:09:42,515 --> 00:09:45,279
Ooh, I love surprises!
192
00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:48,879
- Back up, one eye.
- Or what, dimples?
193
00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:52,755
You'll stick that thing in me?
Aren't you a wild one?
194
00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:55,260
Join me for nibbles and mojitos.
195
00:09:55,294 --> 00:09:56,454
Fresh mint.
196
00:09:57,830 --> 00:10:01,095
Weapons at the ready. If you get
the chance, take this guy out.
197
00:10:01,133 --> 00:10:02,964
I'd love a chance to take him out.
198
00:10:03,002 --> 00:10:05,368
- I bet he has stories.
- Bruce!
199
00:10:05,404 --> 00:10:10,171
Dig in, everybody.
As usual, I've made way too much.
200
00:10:10,209 --> 00:10:12,302
Pass me the ponzu sauce, love.
201
00:10:14,380 --> 00:10:17,076
What, is that the orange one?
202
00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:20,608
Nope, that's chutney. Ponzu's brown.
203
00:10:20,653 --> 00:10:23,520
OK, what's going on here?
204
00:10:23,556 --> 00:10:26,081
Are you or are you not
the dreaded Cyclops of Alluvia?
205
00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:28,992
The dreaded Cyclops of Alluvia
206
00:10:29,028 --> 00:10:32,555
is my father. Please, call me Cy.
207
00:10:32,598 --> 00:10:34,088
Hello, Cy. I'm Loquasto.
208
00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:37,864
Hey, Quasto, no buddy-buddy stuff.
We don't know what this guy's up to yet.
209
00:10:37,903 --> 00:10:41,737
Well, as you can see, I'm unarmed.
210
00:10:41,774 --> 00:10:43,173
- Oh!
- Oh, damn!
211
00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:45,404
- Oh, no!
- I beg to differ.
212
00:10:45,444 --> 00:10:48,242
Guys, focus!
We're here for the Alluvian Bloodstone.
213
00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:51,443
That old hunk of junk? Take it.
214
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:52,974
It was my father's.
215
00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:55,487
We never saw eye to eye.
216
00:10:55,521 --> 00:10:57,751
He despised my decadence.
217
00:10:57,790 --> 00:11:02,090
I didn't share his blood lust.
C'est la vie.
218
00:11:02,928 --> 00:11:04,293
Well...
219
00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:07,925
So, what, we can just take that and...?
220
00:11:07,967 --> 00:11:10,265
Go?
221
00:11:10,302 --> 00:11:12,862
That's why you came.
222
00:11:12,905 --> 00:11:14,304
I get it.
223
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:18,572
No one wants to have cocktails and nosh
with a one-eyed monster.
224
00:11:18,611 --> 00:11:20,044
Uh-uh.
225
00:11:20,079 --> 00:11:22,013
And so I drink alone.
226
00:11:22,048 --> 00:11:23,310
Again.
227
00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:27,683
Sometimes I wonder
why it's called "happy hour".
228
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:32,317
Ai, Kr�d, he's lonely.
He feels like a monster.
229
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:34,622
- He is a monster!
- Who could have killed us,
230
00:11:34,660 --> 00:11:36,150
- but didn't.
- Yet. Yet!
231
00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:38,163
I cannot stress that enough.
Get the stone.
232
00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:41,928
He made ponzu. That's like
the least evil of all the sauces.
233
00:11:41,967 --> 00:11:43,400
- Kr�d...?
- Come on, Kr�d.
234
00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:45,336
Quasto, test the food for poison.
235
00:11:48,441 --> 00:11:51,740
Oh, that is lovely. That is lovely.
236
00:11:52,978 --> 00:11:56,277
OK, look. One mojito,
a couple of snacks,
237
00:11:56,315 --> 00:11:58,943
- and then we hit the bricks. Agreed?
- Agreed.
238
00:11:58,984 --> 00:12:02,249
No! You don't have my agreed, no!
239
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,570
(Laughing)
240
00:12:23,175 --> 00:12:24,506
OK.
241
00:12:24,543 --> 00:12:29,173
O...K.
242
00:12:29,215 --> 00:12:31,615
Aneka, truth or dare?
243
00:12:31,650 --> 00:12:33,277
Truth.
244
00:12:34,186 --> 00:12:38,088
Have you ever gotten busy
with a Cyclops?
245
00:12:38,124 --> 00:12:41,287
(Bruce) Cyclops! One eye! Hello!
246
00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:44,494
Um...
247
00:12:45,564 --> 00:12:47,293
Um? Um?
248
00:12:47,366 --> 00:12:49,357
That's not an automatic no?
249
00:12:49,401 --> 00:12:52,529
Ooh, I once lay with a troll
who'd lost an eye in battle.
250
00:12:52,571 --> 00:12:53,902
Does that count?
251
00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:56,601
It most certainly does not, my dear.
252
00:12:56,642 --> 00:12:59,133
It counts as the most disgusting thing
I've ever heard.
253
00:12:59,178 --> 00:13:02,636
I mean, where do you draw the line?
Trolls?
254
00:13:02,681 --> 00:13:03,875
Obviously there's no line.
255
00:13:03,916 --> 00:13:07,010
Gods! I mean,
have you ever sixty-nined an ogre?
256
00:13:07,052 --> 00:13:10,317
Teabagged an ork?
Tossed a hobgoblin's salad?
257
00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:12,916
Master, you're only allowed
one question at a time,
258
00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:16,450
- and it's not your turn yet.
- Zezelryck, truth or dare?
259
00:13:16,495 --> 00:13:17,962
You know what, Cy?
260
00:13:17,997 --> 00:13:21,865
I'm... Go ahead. I'm gonna pass,
just keep it going around.
261
00:13:21,901 --> 00:13:25,302
- Oh, come on, you're such a coward.
- Bitch.
262
00:13:25,337 --> 00:13:31,276
OK, um, 'cause of the name calling,
all right, I'll..., uh, dare.
263
00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:32,607
Cy, I'm gonna go with dare.
264
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:34,704
Fantastic!
265
00:13:34,747 --> 00:13:37,238
I dare you to go under the water
266
00:13:37,283 --> 00:13:40,184
and breathe through my flesh snorkel.
267
00:13:40,219 --> 00:13:43,450
- Oh, OK! Party time!
- Well, you win.
268
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:46,390
Cyclops wins! Game over.
269
00:13:46,425 --> 00:13:48,859
Oh, my gods, you swing both ways.
270
00:13:48,894 --> 00:13:51,829
- You're a...
- Biclops. Guilty.
271
00:13:51,864 --> 00:13:53,798
Although I've never been one for labels.
272
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:56,734
Well, I suppose
you could call me a foodie.
273
00:13:58,404 --> 00:14:00,964
Ohh...
274
00:14:01,006 --> 00:14:04,066
Are you guys buzzed?
275
00:14:04,109 --> 00:14:07,601
- No, I'm good.
- I am so buzzed.
276
00:14:07,646 --> 00:14:09,705
I can see straight, I'm fine.
277
00:14:09,748 --> 00:14:12,444
Shall we go lie by the fire?
278
00:14:12,484 --> 00:14:17,217
Break out the lotion
and just get a little weird?
279
00:14:17,256 --> 00:14:18,416
OK, let's do it.
280
00:14:18,457 --> 00:14:21,324
I can't even put lotion on,
I don't think, Kr�d.
281
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,385
You know what, Cy?
This has been fun.
282
00:14:23,429 --> 00:14:25,420
But I think we should
probably just get going.
283
00:14:25,464 --> 00:14:28,365
All good things must come to an end.
284
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:32,666
Hang your suits on the drying rack.
I'll go and fetch you some warm towels.
285
00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:34,798
- Great!
- Thank you.
286
00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:37,434
- Thank you, Cy.
- Hey, shall I say it?
287
00:14:37,476 --> 00:14:40,707
Great guy. Great guy.
288
00:14:40,746 --> 00:14:42,714
"Shall I say it?" Weird!
289
00:14:42,748 --> 00:14:46,149
OK, he's a freak. Break out the lotion?
Next to the fireplace?
290
00:14:46,185 --> 00:14:49,086
He's sick, man!
Let's get the hell out of here, Kr�d.
291
00:14:49,121 --> 00:14:51,180
- He is a bit freaky.
- Towels!
292
00:14:51,223 --> 00:14:52,485
Oh, hey!
293
00:14:52,524 --> 00:14:55,755
Cy, I love how
you've integrated organic elements
294
00:14:55,794 --> 00:14:58,695
with a bold modern flair.
You have a great eye.
295
00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:00,995
Thanks. Like everything in my life,
296
00:15:01,033 --> 00:15:04,696
I like to combine unusual elements.
297
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:06,671
This candelabra's a nice piece.
298
00:15:06,705 --> 00:15:08,866
- What's it made of?
- Femurs.
299
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,933
Or is it tibias?
300
00:15:10,976 --> 00:15:13,274
What's this bone right here?
301
00:15:15,147 --> 00:15:18,708
It's party time!
302
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:21,845
Hey! No! Wait! Cy, come on!
303
00:15:23,022 --> 00:15:26,014
Who could've predicted this, huh?
Hmm?
304
00:15:43,042 --> 00:15:45,636
- Well, hello there.
- Ow!
305
00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:48,010
Ooh, did she hurt you?
Shall I kill her?
306
00:15:48,047 --> 00:15:50,641
- No! She's my mother.
- Ooh.
307
00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:52,378
Biological or step?
308
00:15:52,418 --> 00:15:56,616
Step, I guess.
My blood mother...died in childbirth.
309
00:15:56,655 --> 00:15:58,088
Phew!
310
00:15:58,123 --> 00:16:00,523
Because that is not much to look at.
311
00:16:00,559 --> 00:16:02,117
Mother, go.
312
00:16:02,161 --> 00:16:04,288
Yes, shoo. Away, woman.
313
00:16:05,364 --> 00:16:07,298
What are you doing here?
314
00:16:07,333 --> 00:16:11,394
Forgive me. I feel as helpless
and as vulnerable as a turtle
315
00:16:11,437 --> 00:16:13,337
after I've ripped off its shell.
316
00:16:13,372 --> 00:16:15,738
OK, here goes.
317
00:16:15,774 --> 00:16:20,336
I know you see me as nothing more
than a lowly provincial flunky,
318
00:16:20,379 --> 00:16:22,904
stuck in a go-nowhere chancellorship,
319
00:16:22,948 --> 00:16:26,975
but I am about to activate
the most powerful weapon in the world
320
00:16:27,019 --> 00:16:31,649
and use it to kill Emperor Xanus
and seize his crown.
321
00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:33,954
Yeah, I know,
it's really impressive, isn't it?
322
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:38,089
Well, the only thing that prevents me
from feeling unbridled joy
323
00:16:38,130 --> 00:16:41,122
is the knowledge
that each night I lie alone...
324
00:16:41,900 --> 00:16:45,859
with my empty heart, in my empty bed.
325
00:16:45,904 --> 00:16:49,567
Well, empty except for the concubines.
Point being,
326
00:16:49,608 --> 00:16:52,372
I want to share my life with you.
327
00:16:57,916 --> 00:17:01,044
My heart is yours.
328
00:17:01,086 --> 00:17:03,384
Now and forever.
329
00:17:03,422 --> 00:17:05,447
Do with it as you will.
330
00:17:05,491 --> 00:17:09,427
- Are you asking me to marry you?
- Whoa!
331
00:17:09,461 --> 00:17:11,429
Whoa!
332
00:17:11,463 --> 00:17:13,931
Whoa-hoa-hoa!
333
00:17:13,966 --> 00:17:15,456
Whoa!
334
00:17:15,501 --> 00:17:17,526
Whoa! Hah!
335
00:17:17,569 --> 00:17:19,730
Whoa! I...
336
00:17:22,408 --> 00:17:24,899
No, you know what?
337
00:17:24,943 --> 00:17:30,848
If marriage is what you want, then,
yes, marriage! What do you say?
338
00:17:32,518 --> 00:17:37,251
Well, since I met you,
I've been orphaned...
339
00:17:37,289 --> 00:17:39,280
- Yeah.
- ..kidnapped...
340
00:17:39,324 --> 00:17:41,019
- Yeah.
- ..betrothed to a royal,
341
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:45,360
privy to assassination plots,
and, while part of me despises you...
342
00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:47,365
- It'd be weird if you didn't.
- ..another part knows
343
00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:50,095
that you can excite me
in ways no other man ever can.
344
00:17:50,135 --> 00:17:53,798
- Oh.
- I say...yes!
345
00:17:53,839 --> 00:17:55,306
Oh!
346
00:17:55,340 --> 00:17:56,967
(Laughing)
347
00:17:57,009 --> 00:17:57,998
Yes!
348
00:17:58,043 --> 00:17:59,840
Ow, ow.
349
00:17:59,878 --> 00:18:02,244
- No, I hurt my leg when I crawled over.
- Aw.
350
00:18:02,281 --> 00:18:03,612
Yeah.
351
00:18:05,651 --> 00:18:07,642
(# Dance music plays)
352
00:18:07,686 --> 00:18:11,417
OK, uh, Cy. Talk to me.
What's going on here, buddy?
353
00:18:11,457 --> 00:18:16,622
Well, I thought
we'd party a little more,
354
00:18:16,662 --> 00:18:18,391
and then...
355
00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:20,523
it's go time!
356
00:18:20,566 --> 00:18:25,265
Oh! I-I-I guess what I'm asking is,
what exactly is go time?
357
00:18:25,304 --> 00:18:29,001
It's when I sex you all...
358
00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:32,340
- Oh, OK...
- ..to death.
359
00:18:32,377 --> 00:18:33,969
- Ah!
- I knew it! I knew it!
360
00:18:34,012 --> 00:18:36,139
Y'all don't listen to nothing I say!
361
00:18:36,181 --> 00:18:37,375
And then I eat you.
362
00:18:37,416 --> 00:18:42,649
If any of y'all survive this, just tell
my mom I died, literally any other way.
363
00:18:42,688 --> 00:18:44,417
All right!
364
00:18:44,456 --> 00:18:47,755
Let's get swollen.
365
00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:49,886
Kr�d and...
366
00:18:49,928 --> 00:18:53,762
Loquasto, start tongue jousting.
367
00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:56,165
- No problem.
- No, no, no, no! We can't,
368
00:18:56,201 --> 00:18:58,669
because we work together,
it would just be awkward.
369
00:18:58,704 --> 00:19:00,968
Right! Let me and Kr�d start things off.
370
00:19:01,006 --> 00:19:02,667
- Really?
- Boring!
371
00:19:02,708 --> 00:19:07,111
The handsome warrior
and his beautiful maiden. So vanilla.
372
00:19:07,179 --> 00:19:09,739
I need some strange.
373
00:19:09,781 --> 00:19:11,840
Trust me, we've got game.
374
00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:14,648
Oh, yeah, we're compatible sexually.
That was never the problem -
375
00:19:14,686 --> 00:19:16,916
it was really more
about our core value...
376
00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:21,025
- Oh, I miss this.
- Yawn!
377
00:19:21,059 --> 00:19:23,118
I'm turtling here.
378
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,027
Strange, give him some strange!
379
00:19:25,063 --> 00:19:27,122
- Grab my butt.
- All right, slow down.
380
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,861
- I'll get there.
- Do it now.
381
00:19:28,901 --> 00:19:34,430
- OK.
- OK, a little tush play.
382
00:19:34,473 --> 00:19:36,065
Likey, likey!
383
00:19:36,975 --> 00:19:39,500
I'm starting to chub.
384
00:19:39,545 --> 00:19:41,308
- Do you feel it?
- Oh, yeah.
385
00:19:41,346 --> 00:19:43,837
- Do you?
- I mean the throwing star.
386
00:19:43,882 --> 00:19:45,679
Oh, right! Oh!
387
00:19:45,717 --> 00:19:48,811
- Yeah, got it.
- Hit him in the eye.
388
00:19:49,288 --> 00:19:50,721
Ah!
389
00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:53,224
Go, go, go!
390
00:19:53,258 --> 00:19:55,226
Zez, there's a problem!
391
00:19:55,260 --> 00:19:57,353
The butt stuff. The tush play.
392
00:19:57,396 --> 00:19:59,159
I need a moment.
393
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:01,063
Um... Oh, I got you.
394
00:20:01,099 --> 00:20:02,862
Get that rope on him.
395
00:20:02,901 --> 00:20:05,995
- You know what to do, big fella.
- Hurry up!
396
00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:07,665
(Banging)
397
00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:10,436
Get down, you bugger! Ah!
398
00:20:18,317 --> 00:20:21,753
Get away, you witch! Go on, bugger off!
399
00:20:21,787 --> 00:20:24,483
Sod off, you old cow!
400
00:20:25,924 --> 00:20:28,586
- Oh, yes. Oh, oh...
- (# Gentle lute music)
401
00:20:28,627 --> 00:20:30,322
Raunch it up a bit, Barnabus.
402
00:20:32,364 --> 00:20:34,594
(# Fast rock tune)
403
00:20:34,633 --> 00:20:36,225
Mmm, yeah.
404
00:20:36,268 --> 00:20:38,736
Oh, yeah! Mmm.
405
00:20:39,571 --> 00:20:41,539
I am so sorry.
406
00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:44,098
I'm such a mess.
407
00:20:44,743 --> 00:20:48,076
Ever since my breakup with Lisa...
408
00:20:48,113 --> 00:20:51,207
and Chad,
I've been such a man whore.
409
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:53,377
Humping and eating everything in sight.
410
00:20:54,620 --> 00:20:56,554
I hate myself!
411
00:20:56,588 --> 00:20:58,647
Oh, I've been there.
412
00:21:00,158 --> 00:21:03,855
Father sent me to a talking doctor
to sort me out, but...
413
00:21:03,895 --> 00:21:05,487
But let me guess,
you sexed him and ate him?
414
00:21:05,530 --> 00:21:06,929
Bingo.
415
00:21:06,965 --> 00:21:09,365
All right, guys,
let's get dressed and hit the road.
416
00:21:09,401 --> 00:21:13,963
Why not grab some prosciutto
on the way out?
417
00:21:14,006 --> 00:21:16,600
It's only going to go bad...
418
00:21:17,809 --> 00:21:19,800
..like me.
419
00:21:24,016 --> 00:21:26,484
How many children shall we have?
420
00:21:26,518 --> 00:21:28,748
- Six!
- Ah...
421
00:21:28,787 --> 00:21:32,279
Well, ten, if we acknowledge
the bastard sons I've already got.
422
00:21:32,324 --> 00:21:34,622
Ten it is! I...
423
00:21:34,660 --> 00:21:38,357
(Coughing and wheezing) ..love...
424
00:21:38,397 --> 00:21:39,796
you.
425
00:21:41,867 --> 00:21:44,062
- Are you all right, my love?
- Oh, yes.
426
00:21:44,102 --> 00:21:46,570
The cool morning air burns my lungs.
427
00:21:52,110 --> 00:21:54,169
Blood!
428
00:21:54,212 --> 00:21:56,680
Daggers! You've got the plague!
429
00:21:56,715 --> 00:21:59,411
Does this mean you don't love me?
430
00:22:01,086 --> 00:22:07,821
Aaah...!
431
00:22:09,261 --> 00:22:10,660
No.
432
00:22:10,696 --> 00:22:13,631
The old me might have pulled the old
433
00:22:13,665 --> 00:22:16,031
"let me just check the carriage wheel"
and bolted.
434
00:22:16,068 --> 00:22:18,866
But the new me is bound to you,
body and soul.
435
00:22:18,904 --> 00:22:23,773
I shall ensure that you are leeched
by the finest medical minds of our time.
436
00:22:23,809 --> 00:22:29,372
My love, I swear by the gods above,
you will not die.
437
00:22:29,414 --> 00:22:31,644
Why? Why?
438
00:22:31,683 --> 00:22:35,483
Why couldn't it have been you,
Barnabus? Why?
439
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:37,385
(Sobs)
440
00:22:38,557 --> 00:22:40,582
Oh, let it go, Gustav.
441
00:22:40,625 --> 00:22:42,923
I will not let it go.
442
00:22:42,961 --> 00:22:45,623
My father wore pubic hair
atop his head,
443
00:22:45,664 --> 00:22:48,531
as did his father before him
and so his father too.
444
00:22:48,567 --> 00:22:51,502
Gentlemen, sorry we're late,
but this thing was weighing me down.
445
00:22:51,536 --> 00:22:52,560
(Clang)
446
00:23:03,248 --> 00:23:06,877
It is authentic.
I shall add it to our treasury.
447
00:23:06,918 --> 00:23:09,318
I believe this Council
owes you an apology.
448
00:23:09,354 --> 00:23:11,686
And a seat at our table.
Do we not, gentlemen?
449
00:23:11,723 --> 00:23:14,487
- (All) Aye, aye, aye.
- Welcome to the Council.
450
00:23:14,526 --> 00:23:18,087
Tomorrow we shall furnish you
with a proper fighting unit.
451
00:23:18,130 --> 00:23:20,462
We already have a unit.
452
00:23:20,499 --> 00:23:22,467
Not one befitting your new rank.
453
00:23:22,501 --> 00:23:25,129
Hey, they were good enough to get
the Bloodstone from the Cyclops.
454
00:23:25,170 --> 00:23:27,798
And you don't even want to know
what that guy wanted to do to us.
455
00:23:27,839 --> 00:23:31,468
Be that as it may,
they must be replaced.
456
00:23:31,510 --> 00:23:33,239
- Is this a deal breaker?
- It is.
457
00:23:33,278 --> 00:23:36,839
You watch. This is where
he sells us out. Here it comes.
458
00:23:36,882 --> 00:23:38,941
Well, in that case,
459
00:23:38,984 --> 00:23:40,383
we regretfully decline.
460
00:23:40,419 --> 00:23:42,546
That's my boy! I knew it!
461
00:23:42,587 --> 00:23:44,350
But, Kr�d, in our previous encounter,
462
00:23:44,389 --> 00:23:46,857
you seemed less than thrilled
with your team.
463
00:23:47,592 --> 00:23:50,083
And for that I am remiss.
464
00:23:50,128 --> 00:23:52,619
I suppose sometimes the...
465
00:23:52,664 --> 00:23:55,098
chains of brotherhood
are too weak to be felt
466
00:23:55,133 --> 00:23:59,160
until they're too strong to be broken.
Good day, gentlemen.
467
00:24:15,187 --> 00:24:17,747
You had us at "regretfully decline".
468
00:24:17,789 --> 00:24:20,314
This was your last test.
469
00:24:20,358 --> 00:24:24,158
When the enemy is everywhere,
loyalty is everything.
470
00:24:26,131 --> 00:24:28,895
Welcome to the Council, brother...
471
00:24:28,934 --> 00:24:31,334
and sister.
472
00:24:34,239 --> 00:24:38,073
- (Gustav) No hard feelings, Kr�d?
- Nah. Come here, you pubey bastard.
473
00:24:40,679 --> 00:24:43,443
Basking in the glowof his recent triumphs,
474
00:24:43,482 --> 00:24:48,943
Kr�d felt an unfamiliar sensationswell in his chest - pride.
475
00:24:48,987 --> 00:24:53,083
But as the adage has it,pride goeth before a fall.
476
00:24:53,124 --> 00:24:54,614
Kr�d.
477
00:24:55,660 --> 00:24:57,093
Yeah? What's up, Ralph?
478
00:24:57,128 --> 00:25:00,120
I was planning on taking my schooner
out on Lake Cormada tomorrow,
479
00:25:00,165 --> 00:25:02,292
but I'm in desperate need
of a first mate.
480
00:25:02,334 --> 00:25:05,303
- Aye aye, captain.
- I was thinking of Aneka.
481
00:25:05,337 --> 00:25:06,964
Oh.
482
00:25:07,005 --> 00:25:09,337
Now, Bruce intimated
that you and she have a history,
483
00:25:09,374 --> 00:25:12,309
and I would simply hate to trespass
on any lingering emotional...
484
00:25:12,344 --> 00:25:14,642
Oh, no! Come on, Ralph.
485
00:25:14,679 --> 00:25:16,374
Mensches before wenches.
486
00:25:16,414 --> 00:25:18,678
- Guy Code 101.
- Marvelous.
487
00:25:18,717 --> 00:25:21,447
Oh, but...just between us,
488
00:25:21,486 --> 00:25:23,477
don't expect too much
from her emotionally.
489
00:25:23,522 --> 00:25:25,422
Poor kid's still pretty banged up
in here.
490
00:25:25,457 --> 00:25:30,895
Sorry. I had to find a lube steward
to fill my gourd. Let's go, Ralph.
491
00:25:31,963 --> 00:25:35,592
Farewell, my friends!
Long live the resistance!
492
00:25:35,634 --> 00:25:36,931
To the resistance.
493
00:25:36,968 --> 00:25:38,367
Yah!
494
00:25:39,337 --> 00:25:42,465
I don't think she's going
to be giving him much resistance.
495
00:25:43,642 --> 00:25:45,576
You got me, master.
496
00:25:45,610 --> 00:25:49,068
Is it just me or is that a lot of lube
for one weekend?
497
00:25:54,185 --> 00:25:57,416
Nor was Kr�d's the only heartin Hessemeel
498
00:25:57,455 --> 00:26:00,947
enduring the pain of lost love.
499
00:26:00,992 --> 00:26:02,892
Sire...
500
00:26:02,928 --> 00:26:07,763
I think I might have something
to strengthen your blighted spirits.
501
00:26:08,500 --> 00:26:11,196
Nothing can mend my broken heart.
502
00:26:14,539 --> 00:26:15,801
Nothing, sire?
503
00:26:30,155 --> 00:26:34,990
The focal lens
for the Eye of Gulga Grymna!
504
00:26:46,204 --> 00:26:48,035
Barnabus,
505
00:26:48,073 --> 00:26:50,473
when all else fails me,
506
00:26:50,508 --> 00:26:55,002
you always manage to come through.
507
00:26:55,046 --> 00:26:58,209
I thank you with all my heart.
508
00:26:59,784 --> 00:27:03,720
Now leave, would you? I've sent for
some wenches. You're kind of a buzzkill.
509
00:27:07,325 --> 00:27:08,485
(Squeaking)
510
00:27:10,328 --> 00:27:12,626
(Laughing gleefully) I've got the lens.
511
00:27:12,664 --> 00:27:16,532
I've got the lens! Ha-ha-ha-ha!
512
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:20,055
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00:27:20,105 --> 00:27:24,655
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