Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,075
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
2
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:21,362
- Thought about renting?
- I think this just makes more sense.
3
00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:26,610
- Milk?
- Got any soya?
4
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:31,404
- No, we don't.
- Oh, okay.
5
00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:34,491
- Do you want me to start buying soya milk?
- No, it's all right.
6
00:00:34,493 --> 00:00:37,494
- I can make it.
- Oh, okay.
7
00:00:37,496 --> 00:00:39,357
So just some yellow organic soya beans
8
00:00:39,359 --> 00:00:40,680
and some vanilla extract, please.
9
00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:43,665
And a small muslin cheesecloth.
10
00:00:57,099 --> 00:00:58,429
So, um...
11
00:01:00,936 --> 00:01:02,596
they give you a kid at this panel?
12
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:05,480
- No.
- Oh, it's a shame.
13
00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:08,358
Yeah, no. They have to approve us
before we can start looking.
14
00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:12,034
- How long does it take?
- A while.
15
00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:16,452
So, you won't be needing
your spare room super soon then?
16
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:27,213
Well, I told you.
17
00:01:27,215 --> 00:01:29,462
You shouldn't get involved in
other people's relationships.
18
00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:32,132
- Jason, I had no choice.
- You've gotta fight the urge, man.
19
00:01:32,134 --> 00:01:33,617
It's like if, um, uh,
20
00:01:33,619 --> 00:01:36,344
Attenborough sees an elephant
who's hurt or dying or whatever,
21
00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:38,263
he cannot intervene.
22
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:40,640
No matter how much he wants to,
he's gotta leave it.
23
00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:43,018
- He doesn't leave it.
- Oh, yeah, he does.
24
00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:45,353
- No, I don't believe that. You're lying.
- I'm not.
25
00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:49,482
You're telling me that if he sees
an elephant and it's hurt,
26
00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:51,744
- he doesn't help it?
- No.
27
00:01:53,849 --> 00:01:56,239
- All right. What about a baby elephant?
- Definitely not.
28
00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:58,742
- He just... He ignores a baby elephant?
- He has to.
29
00:01:58,744 --> 00:02:00,202
- No. You're winding me up.
- I'm not.
30
00:02:00,204 --> 00:02:02,454
- A baby elephant?
- Yes.
31
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:05,540
Well, that's really upset me.
32
00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:07,792
Oh, oi, oi. Have you done your panel prep?
33
00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:09,961
Yeah, yeah. More or less, yeah.
34
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,214
Jase, I don't like having him here.
35
00:02:12,216 --> 00:02:15,634
- He's a bad influence on you.
- I'll do it later, all right?
36
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:16,801
- Jason!
- Yeah?
37
00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:20,096
- Fi-Fi-Fi-Fi-Fifa!
- Bruv, I'm not being Chelsea.
38
00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:21,778
That's why I already put you in as Bolton.
39
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:52,420
Lauren, you have got
that all over your face.
40
00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,172
- Can you pass me the...
- Yeah. This?
41
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:57,092
Yeah. Thank you. Give this to you.
42
00:02:57,094 --> 00:02:59,719
- Did you give him that?
- No.
43
00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:01,513
Great, so he's just
picked that up off the...
44
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:04,724
Fantastic, my six-month-old
is self-medicating.
45
00:03:04,726 --> 00:03:06,396
Here, darling. Here.
46
00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:13,609
- How's Freddy?
- Says he misses you.
47
00:03:15,279 --> 00:03:17,449
- What are you gonna do?
- I don't know.
48
00:03:18,649 --> 00:03:21,324
Right now I've only got the energy
to be a parent to two children,
49
00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:23,618
so he's gonna have to sort himself out.
50
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:25,120
He wants to see the kids.
51
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:29,249
- When?
- Weekends and two weekday nights.
52
00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:31,251
Okay. So more than when
he lived with us then?
53
00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:35,797
- Anyway, how are you?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
54
00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:39,520
Oh, say if no, but, um, would
I be able to borrow your dress,
55
00:03:39,522 --> 00:03:41,261
the one that you bought
a couple of weeks ago?
56
00:03:41,263 --> 00:03:43,889
- Oh, yeah. Why?
- No, no reason.
57
00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:46,183
No, it's... We've got the panel.
58
00:03:46,185 --> 00:03:48,810
- Oh, God, Nikki. I completely forgot.
- Oh, no, it's okay.
59
00:03:48,812 --> 00:03:51,062
Sorry, I just keep going on
about... Shit, sorry, yeah.
60
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:53,732
No, of course you can. Um,
how do you feel about it?
61
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:56,401
Yeah, I mean, it's basically
just a job interview.
62
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:59,237
But instead of a job, it's for
everything I've ever wanted, so yeah.
63
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,659
Oh, look, fudge. Let me just... Yeah.
64
00:04:05,871 --> 00:04:08,330
Okay. We ready?
65
00:04:08,332 --> 00:04:11,791
Yeah. I think so.
66
00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:13,043
Oh.
67
00:04:13,045 --> 00:04:15,629
You set an alarm just
in case we forgot the...
68
00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:17,796
- Just in case.
- Right. Right, okay.
69
00:04:17,798 --> 00:04:18,882
Oh.
70
00:04:18,884 --> 00:04:20,175
Oh, my God.
71
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:25,931
What? My phone could've
died, couldn't it?
72
00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:26,983
Come on.
73
00:04:31,313 --> 00:04:33,438
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
74
00:04:59,842 --> 00:05:01,592
Can we go through what we're gonna say?
75
00:05:02,553 --> 00:05:04,261
Okay, but I don't want
it to sound rehearsed.
76
00:05:04,263 --> 00:05:05,929
I just wanna make sure
that we're on the same page.
77
00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:07,639
All right.
78
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:10,559
All right, I'm gonna try
and connect with Melanie.
79
00:05:10,561 --> 00:05:13,270
- All right.
- She's from child services.
80
00:05:13,272 --> 00:05:16,106
- She goes kayaking and she likes crafting.
- How'd you know that?
81
00:05:16,108 --> 00:05:19,818
Doesn't matter. I'm gonna
tell her I make my own candles.
82
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,862
It's crafting, but it's
not too on the nose.
83
00:05:21,864 --> 00:05:23,853
- But you don't make your own candles.
- See, Jason.
84
00:05:23,855 --> 00:05:25,011
This is one of the many things
85
00:05:25,013 --> 00:05:26,700
that we need to be on
the same page about.
86
00:05:26,702 --> 00:05:27,951
Right.
87
00:05:32,416 --> 00:05:33,498
What?
88
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:37,085
- You have thought about your answers?
- Oh, yeah.
89
00:05:37,087 --> 00:05:38,253
It's just that I know you.
90
00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:40,839
And when you make mistakes,
you panic and you do your jokes.
91
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,114
Yeah, but I'm better if I'm loose.
92
00:05:42,116 --> 00:05:43,712
I want them to like you as much as I do.
93
00:05:43,714 --> 00:05:47,429
Hey. Don't worry about me,
all right? I'll be fine. Okay?
94
00:05:47,431 --> 00:05:48,431
Okay.
95
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:52,726
Whatever happens, don't get
angry, 'cause anger won't help.
96
00:05:52,728 --> 00:05:56,354
Right, okay. "Don't
shout at the people".
97
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,607
Right, I'll try and remember that, yeah.
98
00:06:00,152 --> 00:06:03,028
Oh, you're already here. How annoying.
99
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:04,654
I'm so sorry I'm late.
100
00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:07,741
The bus timetable is largely a
work of fiction at this point.
101
00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:08,905
Bloody stairs!
102
00:06:08,907 --> 00:06:11,286
At least we're not the Benefit Office.
They're on the top floor.
103
00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:13,663
No wonder they're all in tracksuits.
104
00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:15,207
Ah, no, I need the... Um...
105
00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:17,563
- Right, can you read that?
- Um...
106
00:06:17,565 --> 00:06:18,670
- No.
- No.
107
00:06:18,672 --> 00:06:20,506
Oh, don't... No, it's okay.
Okay. It's probably fine.
108
00:06:20,508 --> 00:06:23,131
It's probably fine. Right,
okay. Now, first thing,
109
00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:26,092
the Melanie woman from
child services isn't here,
110
00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:28,720
so we've got a Michael Grafton.
111
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:33,808
And he is a local councillor and
chair of the finance subcommittee.
112
00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:36,478
- How terribly dull.
- Okay, why isn't she here?
113
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:39,064
Maternity leave. Salt in the
wounds, I know, but there we go.
114
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:43,151
Uh, second thing. Do
you have a... Oh, crap.
115
00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:47,364
What's the thing? What is...
116
00:06:47,366 --> 00:06:49,950
- Social media presence?
- Why?
117
00:06:49,952 --> 00:06:53,922
Deep dive. They would shove a
probe up your bottom if they could.
118
00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:39,166
- All right?
- Yeah.
119
00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:47,507
- Did you delete everything?
- Yeah.
120
00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:49,593
- Your whole account?
- All of it, yeah.
121
00:07:49,595 --> 00:07:51,219
Gone dark. North Korea'd the lot.
122
00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:52,721
- Yeah.
- Oh, goodness.
123
00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:57,142
All right?
124
00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:58,351
- Got bit of a cramp actually.
- Oh.
125
00:07:58,353 --> 00:07:59,603
Oh, yeah.
126
00:07:59,605 --> 00:08:01,313
- Jason, Nikki?
- Yes.
127
00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:03,105
- Would you like to come through?
- Oh, yes.
128
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:06,568
Thank you, Your Honor.
129
00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:08,945
- It's okay. It's not a court.
- Oh, okay. Sorry.
130
00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:10,117
It's okay.
131
00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:14,617
- Is it the door on the right? Okay.
- Yes, that's...
132
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,456
Okay, so welcome.
133
00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:22,501
This is the panel review for
Nikki Newman and Jason Ross,
134
00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:25,879
who are seeking approval
as prospective adopters.
135
00:08:25,881 --> 00:08:28,632
So, I'm Sam. I'll be chairing today.
136
00:08:28,634 --> 00:08:30,759
And just to let you know
a little bit about me,
137
00:08:30,761 --> 00:08:34,095
I've spent around 13 years
working in social care,
138
00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:36,097
mainly with children in the care system.
139
00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:38,519
- Oh, well done.
- Oh, thank you.
140
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:40,768
- Sorry.
- So before we begin,
141
00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:42,760
I'm just gonna let everyone
introduce themselves.
142
00:08:42,762 --> 00:08:44,356
So, can we? Yes.
143
00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:48,485
Hi, I'm Simon Davis. I work in
adolescent mental health services.
144
00:08:48,487 --> 00:08:49,736
- Hi, Simon.
- Hi, Simon.
145
00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:52,864
Julie Okolo, educational
professional and play therapist.
146
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,282
- Hi, Julie.
- Hello, Julie.
147
00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:58,370
Another Julie. Julie Farnby.
I'm an adoptive parent of two.
148
00:08:58,372 --> 00:08:59,955
- Hi, Julie.
- Hello, another Julie.
149
00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:02,053
Michael Grafton, member of the council
150
00:09:02,055 --> 00:09:04,459
and chairman of the
finance subcommittee.
151
00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:06,002
- Hello, Michael.
- Hi, Michael.
152
00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:08,296
Nina Malik, lawyer in family court.
153
00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:09,422
- Hi, Nina.
- Hi, Nina.
154
00:09:09,424 --> 00:09:12,884
Jeanette Hale. My background is
in children and family social work.
155
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,177
- Hi, Jeanette.
- Hi, Jeanette.
156
00:09:14,179 --> 00:09:17,429
Caoimhín Óg Ó hEachthighearna,
social worker in youth welfare.
157
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,059
- Hi.
- Hi.
158
00:09:21,397 --> 00:09:23,478
Okay, well, that's our hour.
Thanks for coming in.
159
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:25,200
That went well. Did we...
160
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:29,568
I should say that Nikki is very nervous.
161
00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:31,778
So I've assured her you're
all going to be lovely to her.
162
00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:34,240
It's all right, I'm just
imagining you all naked, so...
163
00:09:36,118 --> 00:09:38,577
Yeah. I enjoy a bit of that,
even when I'm not nervous.
164
00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:43,495
Okay, well, let's start
by summarizing the report.
165
00:10:00,434 --> 00:10:01,664
I think we'd really love it
166
00:10:01,666 --> 00:10:03,727
if you could tell us a
little bit about yourselves.
167
00:10:03,729 --> 00:10:04,811
- Yeah, um...
- Okay, great.
168
00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:08,773
Well, we've been together for
three blissfully happy years,
169
00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:10,175
two average ones.
170
00:10:12,613 --> 00:10:18,043
And, uh, in terms of hobbies,
we like, uh, TV, talking...
171
00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:21,494
seeing people that we like.
172
00:10:21,496 --> 00:10:25,916
You know, um, we're
both white, obviously...
173
00:10:25,918 --> 00:10:27,292
I don't know what... Yeah, go on.
174
00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:29,085
- We like keeping active.
- Yeah.
175
00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:31,963
- I do yoga. Jason's a keen runner.
- Yeah. I love running.
176
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:34,341
- We're both really into our cooking.
- Oh, lovely.
177
00:10:34,343 --> 00:10:36,803
- Badminton. Both big badminton fans.
- What?
178
00:10:37,721 --> 00:10:39,554
Oh. Where do you play?
179
00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:42,599
Oh, anywhere. We just love the game.
180
00:10:42,601 --> 00:10:46,102
- It's addictive, isn't it?
- Yes. He has to drag me off the pitch.
181
00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:47,484
- Court.
- Court.
182
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:51,566
Um, we just both like generally
keeping ourselves busy.
183
00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:52,568
Mm.
184
00:10:53,946 --> 00:10:56,106
So, Jason...
185
00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:01,785
- you teach English to foreign students.
- I do, Michael, yes.
186
00:11:01,787 --> 00:11:03,787
- And how long you been doing that?
- Oh, too long.
187
00:11:03,789 --> 00:11:06,206
- Oh, you don't like it?
- No, I do. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
188
00:11:06,208 --> 00:11:09,292
- It can be frustrating at times, but...
- Do you get frustrated a lot?
189
00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:10,844
With younger people?
190
00:11:11,710 --> 00:11:14,420
- Oh, no. God, no. No, no, no, I don't.
- No.
191
00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:17,144
Okay.
192
00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:22,472
And, Nikki, you work at a
car rental firm. How's that?
193
00:11:22,474 --> 00:11:24,641
Oh, it's really great. I really love it.
194
00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:29,729
It's really satisfying matching
people to... cars. So, yeah.
195
00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:32,107
It's fair to say that these
are not highly paid jobs.
196
00:11:32,109 --> 00:11:33,525
- Well...
- Yeah, that's fair.
197
00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:34,609
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
198
00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:37,654
- So, where does that leave you?
- Scruffy end of Camden.
199
00:11:37,656 --> 00:11:39,823
Nothing wrong with that.
200
00:11:39,825 --> 00:11:41,825
The last thing we need
is rich people's kids.
201
00:11:41,827 --> 00:11:44,786
That's why the country's in a
mess, isn't it? Rich people's kids.
202
00:11:45,873 --> 00:11:49,416
But if your child needed
extra care or tuition,
203
00:11:49,418 --> 00:11:54,713
or, I don't know, a disability
ramp, you could manage that?
204
00:11:54,715 --> 00:11:56,586
- Yeah. I think we'd cope.
- Mm.
205
00:11:56,588 --> 00:11:57,788
But it might be a struggle?
206
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:01,859
Well, I've actually just
taken a promotion at work,
207
00:12:01,861 --> 00:12:03,763
uh, to be a manager.
208
00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:05,175
So I'll be a lot more...
209
00:12:06,151 --> 00:12:09,019
managerial, which will
involve some extra cash.
210
00:12:09,021 --> 00:12:10,187
There you go.
211
00:12:10,189 --> 00:12:12,480
Ramps for everyone!
212
00:12:12,482 --> 00:12:14,024
And you're not married?
213
00:12:14,026 --> 00:12:17,569
No, no. We've never really
felt the need, have we?
214
00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:20,113
- No.
- There's not an issue with commitment?
215
00:12:20,115 --> 00:12:21,740
No, no issue with commitment.
216
00:12:21,742 --> 00:12:25,571
I think we just feel that a bit
of paper from the government
217
00:12:25,573 --> 00:12:27,419
doesn't prove anything.
218
00:12:27,421 --> 00:12:30,821
I mean, your one does. We
do need that, obviously.
219
00:12:30,823 --> 00:12:32,554
- We're totally committed.
- Yeah.
220
00:12:32,556 --> 00:12:35,079
Um, we know a lot of married couples,
221
00:12:35,081 --> 00:12:37,506
and it's no guarantee that
a relationship will last.
222
00:12:37,508 --> 00:12:39,174
Exhibit A.
223
00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:55,941
Yeah, but no... Obviously
honesty is important.
224
00:12:55,943 --> 00:12:58,360
But it sort of goes into, again,
225
00:12:58,362 --> 00:13:00,654
what I was saying earlier
about communication, right?
226
00:13:00,656 --> 00:13:03,323
So if you've got like a, um...
227
00:13:03,325 --> 00:13:04,658
- What's those?
- Pyramid.
228
00:13:04,660 --> 00:13:07,118
Pyramid or tri... Then communication
will be at the top, right?
229
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,620
Then you've got honesty
underneath there.
230
00:13:08,622 --> 00:13:11,456
But the communication sort
of encompasses both of them.
231
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:14,000
So, if what you're...
232
00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:16,257
I've... been talking so long now,
233
00:13:16,259 --> 00:13:17,620
I've forgotten what your question was.
234
00:13:17,622 --> 00:13:19,673
What do you think a
child would mean to you?
235
00:13:19,675 --> 00:13:21,215
Exactly, right. Okay.
236
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:25,220
Communication. Below that,
honesty, and below that...
237
00:13:25,222 --> 00:13:26,972
- What would you... Yeah, yeah.
- Sorry, Jase.
238
00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:29,482
I think that we started this process
239
00:13:29,484 --> 00:13:32,519
thinking about what a
child could give us,
240
00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:35,394
but now, honestly,
241
00:13:35,396 --> 00:13:39,734
we're just so excited about
what we can give a child.
242
00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:42,066
- Well said that, woman.
- Yeah, man.
243
00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:47,576
I want to ask about something
in the medical report.
244
00:13:47,578 --> 00:13:50,245
If it's about his
smoking, he's quitting.
245
00:13:50,247 --> 00:13:53,321
- He's doing really well actually.
- I've not had one in ages now, Michael.
246
00:13:53,323 --> 00:13:55,709
Actually, it's your report.
247
00:13:55,711 --> 00:13:56,881
Oh, okay.
248
00:13:57,671 --> 00:14:01,756
So, I see you're taking Citalopram.
249
00:14:01,758 --> 00:14:03,338
Oh, okay. Yeah.
250
00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:07,218
And that's for?
251
00:14:08,140 --> 00:14:13,185
It's, uh, it's anxiety. It's
not the highest dose though.
252
00:14:13,187 --> 00:14:14,728
I see.
253
00:14:14,730 --> 00:14:18,273
And why do you think you have anxiety?
254
00:14:18,275 --> 00:14:20,192
Don't you watch the news?
255
00:14:20,194 --> 00:14:23,364
Well, it's hard to say, um...
256
00:14:24,615 --> 00:14:26,025
I don't know.
257
00:14:26,909 --> 00:14:29,829
And how do you think
parenting might affect it?
258
00:14:32,581 --> 00:14:35,874
Well, I-I think that everyone has
to work hard at being a parent...
259
00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:37,209
- Mm.
- ... irregardless of anxi...
260
00:14:37,211 --> 00:14:39,002
- regardless of anxiety.
- Mm. Mm.
261
00:14:39,004 --> 00:14:42,474
You started taking it around a year ago.
262
00:14:44,218 --> 00:14:45,428
Why was that?
263
00:14:51,141 --> 00:14:56,770
So, this was one round of
IVF and then you stopped.
264
00:14:56,772 --> 00:14:58,480
Is that correct?
265
00:14:58,482 --> 00:15:01,650
Well, we-we were told, um,
it was very unlikely to work.
266
00:15:01,652 --> 00:15:03,944
And they only fund
one round, don't they?
267
00:15:03,946 --> 00:15:06,238
So quite recently then
that you stopped trying?
268
00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:09,115
Well, uh, no, not that recent.
269
00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:11,993
We tend to advise people
to wait a little longer.
270
00:15:11,995 --> 00:15:14,329
It just... it really feels right now.
271
00:15:14,331 --> 00:15:15,789
It absolutely does, yeah.
272
00:15:15,791 --> 00:15:18,291
I think what my colleagues
are getting at is,
273
00:15:18,293 --> 00:15:21,461
adoption can't be seen as a
replacement for a birth child.
274
00:15:21,463 --> 00:15:25,131
- These kids are no one's plan B.
- Oh, no. Yeah, no. We know.
275
00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:27,467
People are reluctant to put
all their eggs in one basket
276
00:15:27,469 --> 00:15:30,262
and often try and pursue
pregnancy at the same time.
277
00:15:30,264 --> 00:15:32,180
She hasn't got any eggs. I
mean, that's why we're here.
278
00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:34,140
We're not even thinking
about getting pregnant now.
279
00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:36,434
Quite right. Why would
you? Awful business.
280
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:37,936
Thirty-two hours, my first one.
281
00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:40,313
They had to prize that boy
out of me with a hot spoon.
282
00:15:40,315 --> 00:15:42,065
I said, "Listen, you
have got half an hour,
283
00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:43,216
and whatever's not out of me by then,
284
00:15:43,218 --> 00:15:44,818
you can bloody well push back in".
285
00:15:44,820 --> 00:15:47,279
I think it's fair to say
that there are concerns here.
286
00:15:47,281 --> 00:15:51,116
In our experience, it takes time
to deal with a failure to conceive.
287
00:15:51,118 --> 00:15:52,431
Yeah, we've all got something
288
00:15:52,433 --> 00:15:53,535
that we're dealing with
though, haven't we?
289
00:15:53,537 --> 00:15:55,078
I mean, God, no one's perfect.
290
00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:57,089
But for you to be good
adoptive parents...
291
00:15:57,091 --> 00:15:58,540
Sorry to interrupt you, Julie,
292
00:15:58,542 --> 00:16:00,959
but no one knows who's going
to be good parents, do they?
293
00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:03,170
I mean, look at, um, uh...
294
00:16:03,172 --> 00:16:04,337
Hitler, right?
295
00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:06,882
Hitler's son ran a
medical supply business.
296
00:16:06,884 --> 00:16:09,176
He was a nice fellow, apparently.
297
00:16:09,178 --> 00:16:11,136
- And he had Hitler as a dad.
- Can you stop talking?
298
00:16:11,138 --> 00:16:13,570
I'm not comparing us
to Hitler, obviously.
299
00:16:13,572 --> 00:16:15,974
I'm just saying it's basically random.
300
00:16:15,976 --> 00:16:17,306
- Could you please stop?
- Okay.
301
00:16:19,438 --> 00:16:22,689
- We do have a responsi...
- Actually, I think it was his nephew...
302
00:16:22,691 --> 00:16:25,066
that did the medical... Sorry, go on.
303
00:16:25,068 --> 00:16:27,819
We do have a responsibility
to the children and to you
304
00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:29,988
to make sure that you're in
a position that you can cope
305
00:16:29,990 --> 00:16:32,490
with what could be a
challenging situation.
306
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:33,795
And for someone like yourself
307
00:16:33,797 --> 00:16:35,572
with a history of
anxiety and depression...
308
00:16:35,574 --> 00:16:37,704
I think you're making this sound
much worse than it actually is.
309
00:16:37,706 --> 00:16:38,975
My experience with mental health
310
00:16:38,977 --> 00:16:40,957
is it's the ones who don't ask for help
311
00:16:40,959 --> 00:16:42,959
you got to worry about.
312
00:16:42,961 --> 00:16:45,837
They are the ones you see in
the post office in their pants
313
00:16:45,839 --> 00:16:47,672
trying to post their hair to Elton John.
314
00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:50,091
We know how hard a
transition this must be.
315
00:16:50,093 --> 00:16:52,594
You're bound to still be
feeling a degree of pain.
316
00:16:52,596 --> 00:16:54,971
Can people please stop
telling me how I feel?
317
00:16:54,973 --> 00:16:57,143
I know how I feel because
I'm the one feeling it.
318
00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:06,732
I am absolutely ready for this.
319
00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:09,653
And I can't prove it to
you because how could I?
320
00:17:09,655 --> 00:17:11,947
But I just... I-I know.
321
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:18,874
Sorry.
322
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:25,251
- I actually just feel a bit sick.
- Would you like some water?
323
00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:26,303
Yeah. Yeah.
324
00:17:28,632 --> 00:17:31,591
Okay, let's take a short
break. Shall we, yeah?
325
00:17:31,593 --> 00:17:33,013
- Yes.
- Sorry. Thanks.
326
00:17:52,948 --> 00:17:54,239
- You okay?
- Yep.
327
00:17:55,367 --> 00:17:58,407
- You sure?
- Yeah, I'm fine. Just leave me.
328
00:18:02,457 --> 00:18:03,748
We're doing our job.
329
00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:06,251
Isn't this what we need?
Good, committed people?
330
00:18:06,253 --> 00:18:08,837
Look, concerns were raised.
It's due diligence.
331
00:18:08,839 --> 00:18:10,714
Bloody balls to that. I've
got kids who need homes.
332
00:18:10,716 --> 00:18:13,175
- Suitable homes.
- They are sui...
333
00:18:13,177 --> 00:18:14,301
They are suitable.
334
00:18:14,303 --> 00:18:15,387
Christ, if they're not suitable,
335
00:18:15,389 --> 00:18:17,179
we may as well all pack up and go home.
336
00:18:17,181 --> 00:18:19,389
I've got kids in bloody
war zones out there.
337
00:18:19,391 --> 00:18:22,517
Kids half starved to death two
miles from where we are standing.
338
00:18:22,519 --> 00:18:24,480
Kids whose muscles are wasting away
339
00:18:24,482 --> 00:18:26,313
because no one ever
lifts them out of bed.
340
00:18:26,315 --> 00:18:28,940
And in this city, that is happening.
341
00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:32,402
Look, we're all aware it's
a challenging environment.
342
00:18:32,404 --> 00:18:33,862
I vouch for them.
343
00:18:33,864 --> 00:18:35,970
I've been doing this for 30 years,
344
00:18:35,972 --> 00:18:38,148
and I am vouching for them.
345
00:18:48,170 --> 00:18:51,463
People really need to stop telling
me that I can't have children
346
00:18:51,465 --> 00:18:54,090
'cause it is seriously just
starting to piss me off.
347
00:18:54,092 --> 00:18:55,467
Okay. They are being beastly to you.
348
00:18:55,469 --> 00:18:57,469
And if it carries on, I'm
gonna climb over that table
349
00:18:57,471 --> 00:18:59,346
and hit them about the head
ever such a lot of times.
350
00:18:59,348 --> 00:19:01,932
I know, I know, I know, I know
I'm supposed to just take it,
351
00:19:01,934 --> 00:19:04,976
but all I've had is
doctors, consultants,
352
00:19:04,978 --> 00:19:07,377
and now local bloody councillors
353
00:19:07,379 --> 00:19:09,105
looking over their glasses at me going,
354
00:19:09,107 --> 00:19:11,483
"Nope, not quite good enough. Sorry".
355
00:19:11,485 --> 00:19:14,027
Yeah, it's not fair. None of it is fair.
356
00:19:14,029 --> 00:19:18,156
I do feel over it. I do
feel ready. I want this.
357
00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:19,991
But then as soon as I want something,
358
00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:22,244
- I just...
- Okay, just listen to me.
359
00:19:22,246 --> 00:19:24,441
You are neither a dog
with wheels for back legs,
360
00:19:24,443 --> 00:19:26,446
nor married to my sister,
so I have no pity for you.
361
00:19:26,448 --> 00:19:28,888
So, you pick yourself
up and slap on a smile,
362
00:19:28,890 --> 00:19:31,288
because it is not over until it is over.
363
00:19:31,290 --> 00:19:34,800
- Okay?
- Yeah.
364
00:19:35,717 --> 00:19:37,384
Right. Come on.
365
00:19:46,937 --> 00:19:48,477
It's all right.
366
00:19:49,549 --> 00:19:51,690
- Hitler?
- Badminton?
367
00:19:51,692 --> 00:19:52,822
Thank you.
368
00:19:58,824 --> 00:20:02,909
So, Julie, I think you wanted
to pursue this idea of loss.
369
00:20:02,911 --> 00:20:05,871
I'm sorry. Can we stop, plea...
Objection. I have an objection.
370
00:20:05,873 --> 00:20:08,540
- Again, not a court.
- Okay, sorry. I just, um...
371
00:20:08,542 --> 00:20:11,585
Before we carry on, there's
just something I have to say.
372
00:20:11,587 --> 00:20:13,837
- I can't let you talk about her like this.
- Jase.
373
00:20:13,839 --> 00:20:16,214
- No, it's fine.
- No, I'm sorry, I can't.
374
00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:18,033
I cannot. Because if they knew you,
375
00:20:18,035 --> 00:20:19,820
they would not speak to you like this.
376
00:20:22,723 --> 00:20:25,353
- Do you know how amazing she is?
- Jason.
377
00:20:27,477 --> 00:20:30,857
Do you know how much of a better
person I am since I met her?
378
00:20:33,692 --> 00:20:35,942
It's not even like she
really does anything.
379
00:20:35,944 --> 00:20:37,614
It's just being near her.
380
00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:43,742
You sort of get cured in it, like bacon.
381
00:20:43,744 --> 00:20:44,868
Seriously.
382
00:20:44,870 --> 00:20:49,372
Okay, so, um, a while
ago we hired a car, right?
383
00:20:49,374 --> 00:20:52,959
And she cleaned it
before she gave it back
384
00:20:52,961 --> 00:20:56,551
because she wanted it to
be nice for the next people.
385
00:20:58,217 --> 00:20:59,427
I mean, who does that?
386
00:21:01,970 --> 00:21:03,310
Who cleans a rental car?
387
00:21:08,185 --> 00:21:10,744
So for you to say that
we're not the kind of people
388
00:21:10,746 --> 00:21:11,962
who should be doing this
389
00:21:11,964 --> 00:21:14,814
because of what we've been
through, that's not true.
390
00:21:14,816 --> 00:21:15,976
Because, uh...
391
00:21:17,434 --> 00:21:19,373
we keep hearing that
these children's journeys
392
00:21:19,375 --> 00:21:22,739
have started with trauma... and loss.
393
00:21:22,741 --> 00:21:24,121
Well, so did ours.
394
00:21:28,580 --> 00:21:31,710
So we are the kind of people
that you need because...
395
00:21:35,712 --> 00:21:37,132
we know pain.
396
00:21:38,340 --> 00:21:39,930
'Cause we've been through it.
397
00:21:42,135 --> 00:21:43,545
And we know the way out.
398
00:21:50,185 --> 00:21:51,345
That's it.
399
00:21:55,732 --> 00:21:59,072
Okay. Shall we move to
the home study report?
400
00:22:22,801 --> 00:22:23,934
You know I cleaned that car
401
00:22:23,936 --> 00:22:26,261
'cause I borrowed it
from work without asking?
402
00:22:26,263 --> 00:22:28,763
Oh, shit. I better go
and tell them then, hey?
403
00:22:28,765 --> 00:22:30,305
Oh, stop it.
404
00:22:36,815 --> 00:22:37,895
I'm really sorry.
405
00:22:39,234 --> 00:22:41,902
- What do you mean? For what?
- Ju...
406
00:22:41,904 --> 00:22:44,487
For everything, for all
the trouble I cause you.
407
00:22:44,489 --> 00:22:46,198
What are you talking about?
408
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:47,839
Well, if you were with someone else,
409
00:22:47,841 --> 00:22:49,665
you wouldn't be having
to do this, would you?
410
00:22:49,667 --> 00:22:51,203
Don't wanna be with someone else.
411
00:22:51,205 --> 00:22:53,246
- Yeah.
- I wanna be with you.
412
00:22:53,248 --> 00:22:56,500
Say that now 'cause you're
with me and you love me.
413
00:22:56,502 --> 00:22:57,834
But if you were with someone else,
414
00:22:57,836 --> 00:23:00,166
you'd love them and that
love would be easier.
415
00:23:02,382 --> 00:23:03,382
Nikki.
416
00:23:05,260 --> 00:23:08,100
I feel sorry for anyone
not going out with you.
417
00:23:11,975 --> 00:23:12,975
Honestly.
418
00:23:14,811 --> 00:23:16,941
I don't know how they
get up in the morning.
419
00:23:26,657 --> 00:23:28,907
I'm not saying that
they won't approve us,
420
00:23:28,909 --> 00:23:31,378
but, you know, I almost burst into tears
421
00:23:31,380 --> 00:23:32,873
and you compared us to Hitler, so...
422
00:23:35,207 --> 00:23:39,877
I just want you to know that,
if this doesn't happen...
423
00:23:42,548 --> 00:23:43,758
you're enough.
424
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:51,470
Okay.
425
00:23:52,307 --> 00:23:55,225
So, they want you to do some counseling
426
00:23:55,227 --> 00:23:59,017
just because it's not been long
since you stopped trying, but...
427
00:24:00,732 --> 00:24:01,732
But?
428
00:24:02,986 --> 00:24:04,116
You've been approved.
429
00:24:13,287 --> 00:24:15,207
- We're getting a baby.
- Yeah.
430
00:24:16,540 --> 00:24:19,082
- I mean, at some point.
- Not now.
431
00:24:19,084 --> 00:24:20,580
No, and not a baby necessarily.
432
00:24:20,582 --> 00:24:22,335
Not necessarily a baby, but, I mean...
433
00:24:40,397 --> 00:24:42,689
Sorry.
434
00:24:52,284 --> 00:24:53,834
Yay!
435
00:24:55,704 --> 00:24:56,995
So, what happens now then?
436
00:24:56,997 --> 00:24:59,457
Well, now is the fun part.
Now we meet some kids.
437
00:25:00,501 --> 00:25:02,751
- Just ideally not...
- Not a Chelsea fan.
438
00:25:02,753 --> 00:25:04,252
I know that's a redline for you.
439
00:25:04,254 --> 00:25:05,934
That's a bit more of
a blue line, isn't it?
440
00:25:13,639 --> 00:25:14,849
That's a nice jumper.
441
00:25:16,517 --> 00:25:17,557
Oh, thank you.
442
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:20,060
I just tell it like it is.
443
00:25:21,769 --> 00:25:25,044
You, uh, much of a
football man yourself, Vic?
444
00:25:25,046 --> 00:25:26,836
No, not really. I watch it on the telly.
445
00:25:26,838 --> 00:25:28,027
Do you know how to play golf?
446
00:25:28,029 --> 00:25:29,319
- Oh, golf. No.
- Karen.
447
00:25:30,906 --> 00:25:32,526
- Karen, hello!
- Hey.
448
00:25:34,842 --> 00:25:35,989
- I'm really sorry.
- I'm really sorry.
449
00:25:35,991 --> 00:25:38,951
- I don't know why I said that.
- I know you don't like him. I've chosen...
450
00:25:47,756 --> 00:25:52,342
Oh, my God. Karen, that's huge.
That must have cost a fortune.
451
00:25:52,344 --> 00:25:54,224
Yeah. That's what Scott said.
452
00:25:55,639 --> 00:25:58,889
Come on. What are you having then?
453
00:26:02,479 --> 00:26:05,480
So you just swipe right
if you like him, like that.
454
00:26:05,482 --> 00:26:08,650
Okay. Oh, this is a game changer for me.
455
00:26:08,652 --> 00:26:12,737
Yeah. I was single last
weekend. It was tough.
456
00:26:12,739 --> 00:26:15,740
- How long has it been for you?
- Um, I had a bloke a while back,
457
00:26:15,742 --> 00:26:18,692
but the dog took against him and
he's right more times than he's not.
458
00:26:18,694 --> 00:26:20,120
Oh, he's nice.
459
00:26:20,122 --> 00:26:21,997
- Oh. Do you want to have a go?
- What do you mean?
460
00:26:21,999 --> 00:26:23,373
- Just swipe right.
- Shall I?
461
00:26:23,375 --> 00:26:24,624
- Yeah, do it. Right.
- Okay.
462
00:26:24,626 --> 00:26:26,543
Ooh, I like him too.
463
00:26:26,545 --> 00:26:28,003
- Get me another one.
- Okay.
464
00:26:28,005 --> 00:26:29,045
Just get me another one.
465
00:26:30,215 --> 00:26:32,465
I know he's not Brad Pitt, but...
466
00:26:32,467 --> 00:26:35,510
You know, you start off
dreaming of this perfect love
467
00:26:35,512 --> 00:26:36,987
that's gonna lift you up
468
00:26:36,989 --> 00:26:38,763
and make your heart
beat and your head hurt.
469
00:26:38,765 --> 00:26:40,015
And then...
470
00:26:41,226 --> 00:26:44,096
you end up just wanting
someone to go to lunch with.
471
00:26:45,856 --> 00:26:47,647
It's compromise.
472
00:26:47,649 --> 00:26:50,775
And at this stage, it's either him,
473
00:26:50,777 --> 00:26:53,817
a handsome racist or
someone amazing in a coma.
474
00:26:57,326 --> 00:26:59,284
I didn't realize you were so lonely.
475
00:26:59,286 --> 00:27:01,494
I used to send you texts at 2:00 a.m.
476
00:27:01,496 --> 00:27:03,788
Yeah. I thought you were
just being annoying, Karen.
477
00:27:03,790 --> 00:27:05,790
Yeah, well, that too.
478
00:27:05,792 --> 00:27:06,792
Mate.
479
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:09,920
Stuff can still be good, you know?
480
00:27:12,090 --> 00:27:13,800
Even when it's not planned.
481
00:27:21,183 --> 00:27:22,183
Yeah.
482
00:27:39,284 --> 00:27:40,825
So, you're a manager now?
483
00:27:40,827 --> 00:27:43,453
- Yeah.
- When were you gonna tell me that?
484
00:27:43,455 --> 00:27:44,829
I should probably tell
someone at work first,
485
00:27:44,831 --> 00:27:46,541
to be fair.
486
00:27:48,836 --> 00:27:52,796
We have to grow up now.
For real. No excuses.
487
00:27:52,798 --> 00:27:55,507
- We'll have to start saving.
- And get a pension.
488
00:27:55,509 --> 00:27:56,716
And eat pâté.
489
00:27:56,718 --> 00:27:59,594
And read proper books,
not ones from supermarkets.
490
00:27:59,596 --> 00:28:02,164
And I'm gonna tell my dad to stop
sending me money on my birthday.
491
00:28:02,166 --> 00:28:03,966
All right? I'm gonna do it.
492
00:28:05,167 --> 00:28:08,316
Oh, we should get place
mats and special cutlery.
493
00:28:08,318 --> 00:28:10,858
- And guest towels.
- And an ironing board.
494
00:28:11,882 --> 00:28:13,432
- And an iron.
- And an iron.
495
00:28:15,028 --> 00:28:16,778
You know, we should
probably knock through.
496
00:28:16,780 --> 00:28:18,280
God, yeah. Definitely knock through.
497
00:28:18,282 --> 00:28:20,615
An excellent way to maximize
space in your property.
498
00:28:20,617 --> 00:28:23,037
And we're going to need the extra space.
39192
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.